Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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talk about on your on your podcast? Elvis Presents show. Yeah,
(01:16):
we are here. It's just just a couple of us.
I'm scary. There's Sam Brituer. Sam's here sitting in the
Danielle here. How does that feel? It's swarm? This girl
has a nice romp. She does that. I apologize. And
there's Garrett. Where is everybody? You just snuck up on us.
We thought it was just We thought that Sam and
I were just gonna have some alone time here. I
(01:37):
could leave. No, no, it could be a boy about me.
I give it about three minutes. But brod to come
storming in here complaining that we started without him over under.
What does he complain about? You want his music? No? No, no, no,
thank you. Elvis had a great idea. He wanted to
do the phone call free for all on the podcast today.
(02:00):
So when we signed off the radio this morning, he's
as we were leaving, he said, Hey, call us up
in ten minutes. We're going to record our podcast for Wednesday,
November two. That's farting in the elevator and leaving. Where
is he right now? So Elvis? Elvis laid one and left.
But we have four people all on the phone at
the same time. Because I love doing it. Like this.
(02:21):
Are you kidding me? You're gonna put everyone through at
once at the same damn time. Hello to Vinny, Brian, Lori,
and Laura Rock. Guys, it sounds like you're all in
one car together. Oh my god, this could be a nightmare. No,
it's not. They'll take turns talking. Everybody raise your hand
before you start talking. Vinny, where are you from? What town?
(02:45):
And Brian where are you from? I'm from Long Island,
New York? And Lorin Yeah right? And Laura Rock, where
about what about you? I'm from your like the Polkos? Cool? Awesome? Well,
I think we actually came up with a theme to
ask all of you guys, so the four of you
(03:07):
get your get your embarrassing thinking caps on. Um. We thought,
in spirit of you know, Holiday's family getting together this weekend,
we could share our most embarrassing family get together story.
Does anybody want to go first? I have one. If
you guys need time to think, you go first. I
mean it wasn't. This one was less embarrassing and more
of just like the first, the blow that ruined the
(03:29):
entire thing, my my pain, Okay, that happens after Thanksgiving
at night? My baby sister last year drunkenly revealed that
she was tatted up at the Thanksgiving day table last year. Yes,
and it was a nightmare because I have a very
conservative family. So like my nineties something year old Antie
(03:51):
almost dropped dead, but yours. Yeah, but like it wasn't
a secret like people whin to have a tattoo of
the surprise, you know what I mean. I think it
was less effects you actually had one, and more like
look at this and flashes rrib. She went behind her parents,
your parents back and families back and did it on
the down low, and then she decided to reveal it
(04:13):
when they were you know, passing the mashed potatoes. Just
things we don't do in front of your family. And
that ruined I mean that test and Paul on the
whole time. Well, let's check in. Let's see Brian, did
you figure out your story? Yeah? All right, hey guys,
turn off your radio too. I got I got an idea.
I got an idea. Brian is on line three. I
(04:35):
see why Elvis doesn't do this normally. I got you here.
Let's put let's separate Brian, so I could separate the
calls out because I know how to do that. All right, Brian,
talk go for it. So three years ago I was
dating this girl, um name was Kelly, and I brought
her to the big Thanksgiving you know, get together my
(04:56):
family had, and at the time, I was actually living
in Kentucky, so we came all the way back to
New York and it was the first time her meeting
you know, my mother, my sister, my nephews and everything,
and everything was going great. And she gets up from
dinner to go use the bathroom, and about ten minutes later,
I get a text mess from inside the bathroom, coming
(05:19):
from within the bathroom, and well, I went to the
bathroom and the toilet is overflowing the entire bathroom floor. Brian,
very important question one or two? At least it wasn't three.
My girlfriend's freaking out, saying Brian, Brian, they're gonna hate me.
(05:43):
I didn't mean to I don't normally do this. I
was like, Babe, it's okay, it's okay. Talk about like
initiating yourself into the family. I mean, that's a hell
of a way to that's an ice breaker right there.
Are you still with her? I wonder was it the
food that did? It was crap that did? It. She
(06:06):
was so nervous she pooped her pants. You know what's funny,
My grandmother took such a fence to it. Come on, Grandma,
I know, but she took such a fence to it, saying,
you know, you know, lady, my day. We waited till
we got home. Really, imagine holding it for like now,
Thanksgiving is it? It's not like a normal dinner where
(06:28):
you're done in an hour and you go home. Thanksgiving
an all day events. So imagine back in the day
Grandma holding it for about eight hours. Yeah, it's a
whole get together. She said, to please pass the brown gravy. Alright,
that's pretty cool. Who else has one while we're at what?
(06:49):
Do you want them to raise their hands? Vinny? Is
that video? Go for it? Vide you up every year
because a little older though, and they don't cook that
so much anymore. But she asked my brother in law
Mario to put the turkey in the oven so we
(07:09):
could start cooking for the dinner early in the morning.
So you have new problem not cook care but don't
right now at all. Something came up, Barrio forgot to
put the turkey in the oven. My sister was busy
doing other things because we have a lot of times,
we have a lot of family. You know, that's scary.
Of course, these families run deep. That's correct. My sister
(07:30):
was cooked at other things and didn't even nearly about
the turkey because barrio, I got it, new problem. Don't
worry about it. You got involved in something else. Fell
back to sleep. I started watching football. We started having
a couple of fears. That's see. You know, it's time
to sit down at the dinner table. Little turkey, there's
no turkey in the oven. You got the turkey, right? No,
(07:52):
you you had the turkey, said you right, you're pretty
juice shot and put it out the Yeah, Thanksgiving the turkey.
That's my Thanksgiving, Harry and Thanksgiving. The good news is
you can just pop it into microwave. Right, So pretty
(08:13):
much all right? Who else has an embarrassing Thanksgiving story?
Kind of better phone. I didn't hear from any of
the ladies. Hey, Laurie, do you have a story? Here
is the only thing that I have is really embarrassing. Mr.
I don't remember what year it was, but when she
gave the turkey and she went to cutage, she left
all the stacks inside of the turkey while she baked it.
(08:36):
I've been to a Thanksgiving dinner where that happened. Then
take the bag out and they put the bag in
there was it her first turkey? Like? Was that? Why?
Her first turkey? And she left the both of these stacks,
of all the parts of it enter last turkey. You
know what's even worse is um. Yesterday on Instagram, I
(08:57):
was talking about you know how disgusting it is to
put stuffing inside the turkey and cooking. Somebody on the
Instagram thread wrote that their grandmother left the bag with
the guts in the turkey, didn't realize it and put
the stuffing behind it. So the stuffing, the stuffing was
in the turkey with the bag. So when they were
pulling out the stuffing with the spoon at the end,
(09:20):
the bag came out with it. I mean they cooked
the bag with the stuff. So what you do? What
you do. I don't need turkey because of this. I
don't like turkey because it's disgusting. Nay, it smells nasty
and weird. There's the lion, Laurie Druid, do you have ham?
I am um? Well, I wanted meat loaves this year,
(09:42):
but my husband kind of frowned upon me because I
wanted to take He said, where's the tradition, And I said,
would have got me as traditional thanking traditional? I said,
I want a meat low try to stake potatoes. And
so we compromise that we're doing a turkey to ham
and tried to all right at traditional half barbecue. All right,
(10:04):
go ahead, going to your own Thanksgiving day. If the
barbecue is American, that's fine. We've had We've opened up
the barbecue on Thanksgiving. We have at the scary house.
We even tried to my father tried to cook the
turkey on on the barbecue, on the rotisserie. You do
lasagna your Italian It was never never again. We have
four turkeys outside. That's right, you have live turkeys. You
(10:27):
have four live turkeys. Well they have three now it
is Thanksgiving. How do you pick which one? Oh my god,
it's like the would go with the dumbest, dumbest. So
my husband's and I was like, I don't think I
want doc snore turkey. He goes, well, don't tell me
(10:47):
you want damn chicken. I don't want to do. You
have a lot of dogs in the area we own, Okay,
the guy in the background laughing, got my joke, thank
you guying about ground? That was? That was another phone call.
I was making it eating a dog joke. We got
the phone call free for all going what about thank you?
(11:10):
Hey Laura, Laura, you got a story for us? Honestly,
I really don't. Okay, Laura, what are you doing for
thanks Laura? What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Okay? Well,
we have really small holidays now since my grandmother passed away,
because she was kind of like the ringleader of the
of course. Yeah. So, but the only thing I can
think of is, I remember when we used to have
(11:32):
the big holidays. We'd all sit around the table and
drink wine and laugh and tell stupid stories. And I
remember my grandmother always like peeing her pants because she
laughed so hard. That's the only thing I can come
up with. You, you have to take on that tradition
this year. Okay, I want you to pee in your
pants at the table, doing for Grandma and take your
teeth out. Yeah. She was missing her front because when
(11:56):
she was a little kid, she tripped up the steps
on the school bus, knock all her friends peep out.
Oh she left it like that forever, damn it, you
had piece that would go in Yeah, right pants. So
Alan is on the phone with us too. Is Alan
Allen the guy who left at my dog joke? No, No,
(12:17):
that wasn't Allen. That was that was What just happened
to you? Is you're driving a Florida for Thanksgiving? All right.
So I'm headed down to Florida for Thanksgiving with my
family and I was in a rush, driving extremely fast,
(12:39):
and uh, this cop pulls out behind me, somethinking, Okay,
I got to got to ruin my day, you know,
And uh he just barrels right past me and gets
the guy in front of me, and uh, I was
like getted into the guy in front of me, bumper,
Like I know that I was going faster than the
(13:01):
guy in front of me. But but you know, but
the gun, the gun in front of you. The gun
went off. Yeah, the radar gun went off. Yeah, I
did it all the time. Let let the guy, Let
let someone speed past me. They're gonna get caught first, Alan,
first thing you would have said, the cop pulls you over. Hey, Alan,
he said you were driving down to Florida. Was this
(13:22):
in Georgia? What has happened Okay, there's one thing you
have to learn as an American. You don't speed in Georgia. Really,
the highway patrol in Georgia also, first of all, did
they have mirrored glasses on? They all have mirrored glasses.
They don't take they don't take kindly to speeding, like
cartman my cop. So my father, Yeah, my father was
(13:45):
a police officer, and so usually that gets you a
little like a pass. And so we were driving to
Florida one year and he was going a little bit
faster than he should have. It was like a straight
you know, there's no traffic. It was just no cause
on the road. The guy pulls him over and he says, hey, listen,
if you can show me some profession the courtesy. I'm
a police officer in New York. And his response to
my father was, yeah, you're not a police officer here.
I don't give a crap. Hey, now there's something interesting
(14:10):
here we have. Don't speed in Georgia. If you learn
nothing else from someone on this line here, Uh, there's
no name next to your line number six, but it
says that you're calling from California. Who is this CALLI
who's calling from California? What's your name? Yeah, yeah, Anthony,
Anthony in California. Yeah, my mom was from California. Man, crazy,
(14:35):
I can't believe I've been talking to you guys right now.
That's crazy. What part of California from I'm from the oh, Fresno.
So you hear us on the Freshno radio station out there, Yes, yes, sir,
that's awesome. Well, how are you spending Thanksgiving? Um, I'm
actually it's a crazy thing. I'm actually spending things Giving
day after because the fact that my family, uh and
(14:57):
have a big family and uh, your family than Okay,
I have Well, first, I have six sisters, two brothers
and six sisters two brothers. Was now, well, no think
figured I'm kind of myself. I don't know why I
said that. Six sisters, one brothers, because I'm kind of
my top. So and I have about I'm gonna exaggerate,
I have about seven teenieces. Um. Yeah, and then all
(15:19):
my my sisters all their families, so you know, you
know everybody's sisters, boyfriend's, you know, my sister's boyfriend, husband's
family is coming over. So it's gonna be a big Thanksgiving.
But nobody can get the day off on Thursday, so
we're all just doing all So be honest, Who's you
have like seventy people coming, Who's the one person you
know who it is that you can't stand at there
showing up. Let's see if I would have to say
the one person, it's gonna be, Oh, yeah, I know
(15:42):
who it is. My my brother and my my my twins.
I'm a tween, my twin sisters. Uh. Husband, he's got
so many people can't even remember the fifteen minute morning show.
He blew it