Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
As we rolled into the fifteen minute morning show podcast,
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What would you talk about on your on your podcast?
Firm Elvis Presents Minute Show. You know what? We sit
(01:31):
down and do this fifteen minute morning show right after
the big show, so we do four hours on the
air and then we immediately go into this and some
people know our schedule, so they send us through text
ideas for the fifteen minute morning show. I just looked
up and I see this and I have an answer
for it. What was the last thing you said jokingly
or sarcastically that someone took literally? This happened to me
(01:53):
this weekend. You know the Elvis, the green and blue
Elvis dray in morning show logo? Uh? Was it? Web
girl Kathleen Tony Malay who works in our digital department,
who's he's a genius. They came up with a mock
logo with Alex's last name. So when we're married at
Elvis Carr in the morning show, do you see it?
So we posted it over the weekend as a joke
(02:14):
and everyone took it seriously. They're like, no, you can't
do that. Oh god, no, are you crazy? I mean
people were, they were like beside them. I took it
seriously because I said, who would spend so much time
designing a logo if they weren't serious about it? It
was a professional It was a joke anyway, and so
I took it down because people are starting People started
(02:35):
taking it so seriously they started yelling at me. I
think it's cool, but sometimes some people don't understand sarcasm.
I know I have a lot of friends that they
don't understand that. They take everything literally. You could say,
oh god, I haven't a headache this bad and over
a hundred years you're You're not a hundred years old,
so how can you say? That's like, really, don't you
(02:59):
don't you want to live in a world where sarcasm
is understood. Hello, ridiculous things shouldn't be taken ell But
that's the way it is. What does my mom always say? Um, Like,
when we say something on the air all the time,
She's like, well, you know, the listeners take everything literally,
So if you say it, maybe you know it's not true,
but they're gonna take it literally. Okay, you know what
(03:20):
you could do to integrate Alex's name. You know, a
lot of times sometimes they'll be like, you know, Elvis
Durand's hardware store. You know, so then all of a
sudden they bring their son into they go Elvis Durand
and Sons hardware. He is not my son, I know.
But you Elvis Duran an associated. Yeah, you're right. We
could be like, you know, Elvis and Alex, you know,
(03:42):
incorporated Duran Morning Show something like that. You know, Elvis
and Alexa. I have an idea. Let's just leave it
the way it is, because that's what we're gonna do. Dan,
you could do sons. Nobody knows if you have a
(04:03):
son or not. I just read it sometimes like you know,
s and P sons. But I don't know if there again,
it's gonna stay Elvis Duran in the morning. So nothing
is changing. That's my point. People think that now is
he gonna take Durant is his last name Alex Durand No, No,
I wonder if that is difficult to change your name
like that, to have to do that. It's not alright.
(04:26):
So around the fifteen minute morning show table, We've got
scary there's great Tea boring, and there's Danielle and there's straightening. Now, Okay.
Over the weekend, I was doing my best to keep
my phone out of my hand and just kind of
enjoy the weekend. Every once in a while I'd pick
it up, and there was every time I picked up
my phone there was a text from great Teath. I
(04:47):
really do want to say I apologize. I don't want
to ruin your Sunday. I'm sorry. What the hell are
you telling him? So he had topic ideas having I
know I was having great gass. You know why because seriously,
you guys talking about the Sunday Morning CBS show. You
know CBS Sunday Morning, Sunday Morning, right, and and you
guys are absolutely correct that it's fantastic. So for the
(05:09):
past couple of months, I've been spending my Sunday mornings
watching Jane Pauli and do the show. So then what
I'll also do is I fine tune my Twitter. So
what I did was I erased it completely and I
started from scratch. And because I don't really buy newspapers anymore,
I turned my Twitter into a mobile newspaper. It's a
lot of people who use Twitter at their Twitter feed
(05:29):
as their news, and sometimes Twitter is the fastest way
to get news. Yeah, so I get just the stories
I like, and then sometimes if I get one that
I think, you know, could really work for your morning show,
I immediately wanted text somebody. So here's what he texts me.
Oprah has a new pair of travel shoes and they're great.
(05:49):
We should talk about this. I'm like, Okay, let me
read up on Oprah's travel shoes. Okay, it seems like
a good story, but I just don't see how it
has the meat that we need for our show. Well,
it also had it's it's attached also to her list,
so there's other items on there that you might want
to talk about. People love Oprah, So if you don't
love Oprah, then you're not trusted. But most people love Oprah.
The speaking of CBS Sunday Morning, Uh, I was watching
(06:13):
it yesterday and they were doing an ad for sixty Minutes,
which is also on CBS, and Oprah goes to a
prison to do a story, and there's there's this one
seed where Oprah goes up to the bars of of
the jail jail sale and says, Hi, I'm Oprah, and
you hear this voice in side. I know who you are.
I can't. I don't even know what the story is about,
(06:33):
but I know Oprah's in prison. I gotta watch you.
Know you're You're right. Everything about Oprah is interesting, right,
That's what I'm saying. Then there was another story about
have you ever bought a house? And let's say you're
gonna remodel one of the rooms. So in this story,
I found somebody was remodeling a bathroom. They tore the
wall down after they gutted it, and there was a
note behind the mirror, and it said, you know, what's
(06:54):
the matter? You don't like our bathroom? And they were hahaha,
and then they left him a note in case somebody
found it, and they did. So, have you ever moved
into my house and found a secret message from the
people who lived there before you actually had that? It
was behind the mirror. We would have been down in
a know, an apartment when I was in college, and
there was this long note. I can't even remember what
it said, but it was just so strange to see
the body is in the basement. Anyway, We're just now
(07:15):
joined by Garrett. Hello, Garrett, who walks in six minutes
into the show. Yes, so you only have do the
math eleven minutes left. He's right, nine minutes left, so
you're gonna be kind of shafted a little bit. It's
all right now, you don't get all fifteen minutes. We're
going through the list of topics that great t Uh
broke my phone with this weekend. He kept texting me
(07:37):
every five minutes? Is that why you need a new phone?
So I did pull back a little because I felt
like I might be intruding on your Sunday morning. But
there are other stories that or other stories I want
to say on the sex party one. The sex party
is a good one. I didn't get the sex party one.
Go ahead, okay, So there's another one that I didn't
send you. Did you hear about what's going on in Thailand?
Which I didn't know? This is big. So evidently Thailand
(08:03):
they grow the strongest strain of marijuana, and so they
but their government here's the twist. Their government has really
been strongly against selling marijuana, so they've been like trying
to burn it like crazies. Then they wouldn't have it, right,
But it's growing so strong, and there are people that
are trying to steal it out of there. Right, So,
now that marijuana is becoming like legalized all over the place,
(08:26):
they want to get in on the action. So even
though they're hypocritical, they want to sell it to make
profit for their country. Thailand wants to export marijuana, but
they don't want it sold within their borders. Yes, but
the but by the way, this is this is just
hearsay because Great Teas, Now, yeah, I got this story
from dot com. Okay, well, Para morning, Great Tea and
(08:47):
I were talking and goes, oh, I heard this story
about the full House house. Yes, because then Daniel did
it on her report last week last week. So he goes,
the owner of the full House house doesn't want anyone
coming to the house anymore, so no busses around. The
people that live around the house voted not to have it,
not the owner of the house, because the owner of
the full House house is the guy who created full House.
(09:08):
The bottom line is people don't want to go past
the house. What's the bottom line? Okay, no, no, no,
So if you're gonna give a story, you need to
be accurate. Well, I think it's kind of cool. Who
knew that the biggest that the best train of marijuana
comes from Thailand. I would never have thought that. Okay,
And and I don't know who's to judge that that
is the best train of marijuana. Says that doctors know.
And then now says, well, now there's there's actually did
(09:31):
you hear about this? What happened last Thursday? Hold on,
I'll get it for you right now. So last Thursday,
this was a really big deal for America for the
very first time in American history. This is iconic. It's
called iconic Tilleries. Tilleries is a is a marijuana company
being sold as an I p O on the stock market.
(09:54):
The very first time a marijuana company is being sold
on the stock market in America. Dooric historic. Yeah, that's
a big deal for the first time. Think about it.
All these years marijuana is illegal. Now you can actually
buy it on the stock market. You're not buying marijuana.
The company is listing as a company on the stock market. Yes,
(10:16):
that's not what you said. You just said you can
buy marijuana on the stock market. None of this is
what I'm saying when you give the story. These are major, major,
major problem problems with your Storytell okay, I know how
much you Okay, you've really gone on? Well, I have
other ones that How much interesting would it be that
if you're actually buying weed on the stock market a
(10:40):
great Tea, you can according to Great Tea, you can
kind of love this one all right, because you love Broadway.
But wait, we haven't heard from anyone else on the
ship moving the streets because I told you before you
went on. We haven't even talked to Danielle. Look, I
got nothing here. How much I'm keeping totally ignoring him
because the story is not real? Are okay? Okay, what
(11:01):
other story you're gonna tell me? Because you like Broadway?
Did you st or like the theater district? You like
Broadway shows? Okay? Okay? Did you know one of the
hottest shows right now is the new Go Goes musical
Head over Heels And it's a phenomenal show and they
have all the Go Go music is in there. But
did you know about the Go Goes? They are not
(11:22):
in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. They're not,
and they should be. Arguably they should be because they
were the first all female group who played all their
own instruments, and then they were a huge hit. The
show I learned that on CBS Sunday Morning. Ch you
want one more story, Oh, come on, good one head
over heels there. That's the name of their music. They're
(11:44):
not in it. No, they're not, just their music. Okay,
here's another one. You want to hear about the Norway
one or no, you're over that story. Okay? What to
talk about the period blanket? Well, okay, I found that
he wants to do this on the Big Show, and
I'm like, Danielle, this is gross. Well, I just thought
that Elvis, you would have a certain way of handling this.
There's a blanket that they made right now that makes
(12:04):
it safer to have sexual relations if you are having
your period, right and it's called just launched a period
sex plant? Look at Daniel's face. Well, but I didn't
want to brag about it. I thought Elvis would be like,
are you kidding me? Look what they've done? Now, I
don't I think some topics we shouldn't talk about on
the show. It's just kind of gross. In the news, alright,
(12:25):
Just because it's in the news doesn't mean you have
to report. Is a guy created a sex toy that
pairs with the Alexa app? So I have the audio.
I didn't know if we could play or not. Where
the guy gives Alexa commands and then the toy responds,
here know it's it's in my back room on my computer.
But the guy goes Alexa make her pleasured, and then
(12:49):
the toy does its thing. And but you got to
use Alexa to get to the toy. Okay, all right,
here's no female story. Maybe we'll hear the story from
Great to Tomorrow. Why are so many women going off
the pill? This is from in style dot com. They
no longer want to take birth control pill. They're saying
that now sevent of women are trying to turn down
(13:11):
the pill. They want to find other ways of you know,
whatever that businesses. They don't want to do. That's exactly what.
They're tired of it and messing with their hormones. That's story.
Don't you go to Danielle to report on this? What
are your thoughts on that? Okay, but Scary showed up,
The rest of us showed up, and we're just sitting
here listening to you. Well, Scary can't talk about the pill.
(13:33):
He has no, he doesn't, he doesn't care about that.
He uses birth control, so that's not fair to say
he doesn't take the pill. Does I tell you a
funny story about birth control? Yeah? So, according to the
Catholic Church, the only really approved method is the rhythm method. Right.
So as a kid, I didn't know it was about
cycling and having sex at certain periods. I thought you
(13:53):
had a certain way and your body to the dance
channel exactly. I gotta do like slow slow, you know whatever.
All right, well that's the rhythm method. Great, doesn't have
(14:14):
any rhythm, so we can't have sex. Then, don't have rhythm.
I'm gonna try to find you another story that I
didn't give you excited, Hold on a second. This is
the worst fifteen minute morning show podcast. This is so entertaining.
I will tell you this. I'm glad he's purging all
of this, uh this nonsense now, so tomorrow morning we
(14:35):
worry about it. Have sex parties? Oh my god, so
they are. They are popping up rapidly. Sex parties everywhere.
Who who did this story? You gotta get my god.
I think Greg t should put it sex party ad
on Craigslist and see how many people to go Greg
sex party. Okay, this is again from in Style, and
(14:55):
I'm telling you they are really on the custom of
all these new stories. They're on the custom. They really
rinking news. So sex parties are making a comeback, especially
in Hollywood and in New York. This is a big deal.
It's happening all over the place. Scary was invited to
a sex party. I was in Asbury with my girlfriend
and another couple and were sitting there on the rooftop
(15:16):
having drinks, and this guy named Alejandro comes by with
his wife and says, you guys look gorgeous, all of you.
We would love to buy you. My wife and I
would love to buy you a drink. And then the
wife sits between my girlfriend and and my my friend's girlfriend,
and then did they get cozy on the couch. This
guy comes, gets the cocktail waitress, we get around the
(15:36):
drinks were sitting there, and then he offers us a
wonderful party where we're gonna go to this wonderful club
afterwards after this club, and then we're gonna go to
his penthouse overlooking the beach and party with his wife
until the sun comes up. Why didn't you go? I
wasn't down for that and over for sex or drugs
or both both. And then he told his wife to
(15:58):
show to show my girl all friend and her friend
her boobs. Would you would take out of that boobs,
show them, let them feel them. So she started feeling.
Then she started putting her hands on the let's get
into six parties on the show, to six parties on
the next show, the fifteen minute Morning Show,