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August 8, 2018 16 mins

Nate has an idea based of the Fair food. Plus Greg T wants to clear the air about SOMETHING!

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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your on your podcast? Firm Elvis presents fifteen minute bart

(01:33):
Show Bread thewa These things are seriously something that you
would find at a fair or like the boardwalk where
you would win a game like you know with you know,
throwing darts or you know, warbling squirting water in the
clown's mouth. That is, I'm so obsessed with these stupid

(01:55):
rubber chicken rubber pig that you partyity. Yeah, those are
the rubber chickens in my youth, rubber chickens when we
were younger. And these two rubber chickens sound different like this.
One sounds like this. This sounds like this, aren't you
really sounds like this, But they're not floppy rubber chicken.

(02:18):
These are. I just want to see the meeting that
when I at party City with all the guys sitting
around the table, go, how don't we reinvent the rubber chicken? Seriously? Well,
what I'm so amazed at is that there's toys that
seem to always come back after a couple of years,
but reinvented, you know, whether it's like the game Simon,
you know, where they now make it like a Super Simon,
you know, or like the Rubik's Cube now doesn't have

(02:39):
three it's got like four or five different attorneys. I mean,
there's all kinds of things, you know. I just I
can't figure out what the next toy where all of
a sudden come back at. I would love to have
a Furbie back different the Matchbox carpt car hasn't left, no,
but you can bring it back as like maybe it's bigger,
maybe it's a big or now doors open up on

(03:01):
the side. It's about hot wheels, by the way, Yeah,
I was always a hot wheels guy. Matchbox is really
only like construction trucks and police cars and fire engine
and the pink scrap scratched scratched off a much easier
the cool kids wheels always they had the glossy finish.
I still collect them, but which oneman out of business? First,
they're still in business. Really hot wheels and you can

(03:21):
get matchbox cars at the grocery store. What are you
living in a bubble and they have matchbox matchbox not
matchbox hot wheels. I've been talking about hot meal wheels.
Makes the really hot meals on wheels really cool. Like
the bridge and like you know, the garage crash, you
can bring oatmeal to old people. I say, speaking of

(03:46):
meals on wheels. You had a restaurant rate fffing idea
for a restaurant. Where are we going in two days? Daniel?
Iowa Fair? Okay, what do you love about the Iowa
State Fair? The food on a stick? The food on
a stick. I'm going to open a restaurant that is
just fair food. So you go there. There's a pork
chop on a stick, there's the huge turkey leg, there's

(04:09):
the whatever, the cheese curds, butter fried butter. Everything you
can imagine that you cant at the Fair. No calorie
counts on the many of the food. What do you
do for dessert? Oh, you can do the fried oreo.
You have to have a bark, stale, cookie, barksteal. You
can anything you get at the fair. Why wait once
a year? Are you catting candy peanuts? You're gonna have

(04:31):
paper plates I can just throw on the floor. You
can throw there won't be trapped. There will be buckets.
Oh no, have those thirty gallon drums. The oil over
the restaurant and you gotta throw the food in from there.
Gonna be straw on the floor. The pig with the
big balls, big with huge balls right next to the counter.
You can do the pig with your logo on it,

(04:52):
and it's the fair food. And then kids can squeeze
it and it's oh my god, what kid wouldn't want
to you can squeeze? Do you get in on this?
So I have a name for it, isn't it should?
It should be fair? Fair like f A I R
F A R good fair good Fair. I'm fair. Fair
sounds pretty. That's like one of those Williamsburg restaurants that

(05:12):
everybody's talking about. Fair little brushes, patties around the floor,
on the floor, on the floor, on the back. Can
you have animals like a petting zoo in the back?
That would be great. You gotta have that. I think
the smell of animals. I think has to come out
that you have a little shitty, dangerous roller coaster tony

(05:35):
rods that adults don't fit in, but they go on anyway.
But if you had a petting zoo at a place
where you were making food, I would question where the
food comes from. Well, the goat died. We got a special.
You can put the restaurant on wheels. That's brilliant. I'm
telling you everybody, this is such a great idea. I
can't believe it. Nobody came up with the patent, didn't

(05:56):
and then you're done. Yes see, I don't want to
give away my idea now because an idea for stars,
it's gonna be called Sloppy Dave's and it was gonna
be all the messy concoctions of food I came up
with as a kid, like you know, the crazy things.
But here's the kicker. You want to be comfortable, right.
The napkins are shirt sleeves, So you put them on
and you wipe your face on your sleeve, and that's

(06:17):
the napkins. That's pretty great. That's on sanitary. You're on sanitary.
You're gonna get a d It's a napkin. What's the difference.
But it's got like a button collar and you just
wipe your arm. You've never wiped your arm. In the
age that we're in right now, we're all the healthy.
Everybody wants to eat healthy and stuff, and the begins everywhere.

(06:39):
I doubt that that's the whole point of going to
the restaurant. You're gonna start. You're gonna have kids going
a mom, dad. I want to go to the restaurant
where I can light my face on my sleeve today.
He will tell you. I'm sure as as parents, you don't.
You get disgusted even clean up your kids stuff. You
don't want to see it at a restaurant. Totally. What
are you talking about? They use napkins. It's just a
sleeve shaped napkin. You're making stuff the sleep are the

(07:02):
sleeve shaped napkins like um, the type that you guys
wash or they disposable. You could probably make paper ones,
but I would have cloth at the place I got
cloth sleep. Why stop at sleeves? Give me pants, Give
me napkin pants too, so I can wipe my hands
on my pants. Awesome, bad like a like a crotch bar.

(07:23):
I would do that. It's so funny you bring this up.
I remember just now my dad. He would get a
bag of Cheetos and he would get home from work
and he's tired and he's sitting there with his bag
of Cheetos and he would wipe his fingers on his sleeve,
so there his sleeve would just be orange. We always
do anything eat. Someone in this room, mother than me,
has done it. Don't lie when you're desperate for a

(07:44):
napkin and it's late at night, you wipe your hands
on your socks all the time. But but you know what,
Brodie's a finger sucker to like, he's wasted here in
the studio. Do you know where your fingers? A man?
I don't like that sound though, but I know it's
for today. I understand that. But if I like, we

(08:04):
had pizza today from Monty's and that's sweetened and spicy
sauce like that tied chili sauce, I had to go
my finger. What are you? I couldn't wipe it on
my sauce. Let me tell you it's not just Brody.
I have a friend that does it as well. And
I don't think you established this. I'm not going on

(08:25):
the planet. I don't want to know. I don't want
to throw you into the bus like that. But I
have a body that I've gone to get food with,
right and we had pulled pork sandwiches and it came
over here on his thumb a little bit, and he
was like this, and I was like, oh, dude, stop stop.
I couldn't if you eat ribs. If you eat ribs,

(08:46):
you're telling me you don't lick your fingers. No, no,
you don't eat ribs. Oh my gosh, wait a minute,
this is actually something I talked about it mother. I
didn't even realize this about my brother. He has no
finger The other day I had a barbecue and I
served ribs and I said to my brother, why aren't
you eating them? And my sister said to me, you
don't know. He doesn't eat with his fingers. He won't eat.

(09:08):
He won't do that. He doesn't like the food. I
don't like it to get on his fingers. Pizza. Here's
the thing. So when I pizza, you have a handles,
they forget the corner. You get the corner, which is
I always go for the corner. But it's just gonna say,
will not eat the centrum of square pizzas and wings
in restaurants. I have asked for gloves so I don't
have to have it on my fingers. Having like juicy

(09:31):
stuff had the same thing, she wouldn't eat it off
the bone. I don't like. I don't. I didn't understand.
Can we just remind people if you listen to these
podcasts in order? Greg t refuses to lick his fingers
because it's disgusting, but he peas in his own pool.
Here we go again, the floor in his mouth. Here,

(09:53):
what I did, what I did on the carpeting. It
was a mistake. Let's get past on the floor. Can
I just say one thing about that, I really am
wanted to keep on breathing off. The first time that
you pooped on the floor, they're floating. Series think. I
noticed people are talking on my mask. That's the way
I think. The second time, like when you stood there
and realize that it was happening, you perfectly tried to

(10:17):
aim at It's scary. Okay, maybe if people are talking
about this, you are ships on the floor. All of
a sudden, it's talking to time. I don't hear about
Oh my god, everybody was talking about it. You have
to realize that when people come in here, they ask
us why doesn't the carpet match, and we have to

(10:38):
explain something different than in a normal office. People talk
about how Bob took someone else's stapler, like did you
Bob took mary stapler? And he's acting like it's stapler
you ship on the floor. I'll tell you, why did
you not try to poop on? Scary? So here's what

(10:59):
I think he did. I had what I did. I'll
put it to rest already, and then I would ask
a question before you do that. Go ahead. Did you
see Ed expensed his lunch but he wasn't. It wasn't
really a business lune and he wasn't at lunch and
he was talking to Maria a side note. Great, here's
what happened. Here's okay, here's here's what happened. All right,

(11:21):
So I ate food, Okay, so listen. So I've been
having an issue with going to the bathroom. Okay, after
my colon oscarpee. My doctor says I should take mirror
lax in the morning and mirror lax at night. So
it's two times a mirror lax. Okay, relax, Okay, it
came out like much. So right, So what happens is

(11:43):
is that presently I have not been having some hard
enough stools. Okay, So what happened is dan Nate said
to me and that you have to admit you said
to me, put the ping pong ball far up there,
so screwing of a problem getting it out? Did you
not say that? I may have said, have it? Are
you taking notes? Can you eat the transcript back? But

(12:04):
I just wanted to be I don't know if I
necessarily said put it up your butt hole? But did
you say you did say put it up there? I
can't remember, your honor, I don't remember. The ball doesn't fit,
you must acquit. They said, did you put it up there?
And I said, I said, oh, baby, did I ever?
I said, I jammed it up there and then I
sat on it really good. I didn't know about that.

(12:27):
Did you know that Stephanie took home coffee paper? The
coffee paper the okay, so it's all the way up there, okay,
which now is stretching out my muscles. Okay, so now
scary is in there now, scary model? Did you not
flick it many times? I had to because I wasn't touching.
What was he flicking ball with my nail with my

(12:50):
nail like this right, So as he as he flicked
with this Intenate's restaurants, something that was giving vibrati, it
was sending missions into the that area. So when the
ball came out, it was like a suction popped out
and it started to come out. So here's what happened,
like champagne. Now let's get to this point, because so

(13:13):
it is coming out, So now I feel like pushing
down towards my whole. At that point, I just said
to myself, screw it. At this point, it's already out,
it's on the floor. And then I just said it's
coming anyway, and I pushed a little, and the rest
of you you did so at the second point, you
did push. But to be honest to Danielle's point that

(13:35):
I think it'd be funny if it's shot out of
my butt like like that onto you. Yes, I thought
that would be hysterical. Had it actually shot feces out
onto your church. How did you think that would be hysterical?
You wouldn't have laughed if it would be like in
a movie, like it's shooting out and hitting somebody why
why did you dig? That would be appropriate. I thought

(13:56):
if I could just just tell you guys something that
I think this plays into this beautifully. Edgar on the
fourth floor has been making international phone calls and charging
the company. Now that I explained that, here's what I
want to say to you guys. Okay, how much more
time do you have? Scared? All right? Real quick? Do
you admit? Like just to sum up, the first time
was anything? The first time accidentally happened. The second time

(14:17):
it was going that way, but it was going that
way anyway. It was to feel the pulse sating of
the muscles. It was going there. There's something I could do.
So then why are you so bent out of shape
when it comes up? After the Okay, listen, there are
TV shows and there were actors, comedians, but when they're
done with the show, they're done with the show. Now,

(14:38):
I've known you guys for so many years now, so
after the show is over, can't we just go back? No? No,
because continue continue? Can't we just walk away from this
and just be normal people to one another? But why
continue to bring it up when we just put on

(14:59):
a show for audience, Because that's what we did It's
not like you did something like a bit for the show.
We did that was something that like you can't unsee that,
but it was for the show. It wasn't scripted though,
like the TV shows you're talking about, though there's a
script the character that we can't walk away from, the

(15:21):
characters that we have to be on the air. I
don't understand why we can't just walk away from that.
Why does it have to continue? Do you think I
go to my neighbor's house like guys Steve and I
go crapping on his on his drive after hours, once
it hits ten Eastern Standard time? Why we're still doing
the podcast at ten? I just don't understand. And that's
the problem. That's the point I'm asking. I don't talk

(15:41):
to you scary like we've talked in the air, Daniella,
talk to you like that, Nate, Brody, Garrett, none of
you guys. It was your best men at the wedding.
So why continue theos? But after the show is over,
I'm kind of the same person off the year that
I am on the air. I don't think I'm much different.
Well I really don't am I much different. I'm just
wondering why we can't exactly look. I think. I think

(16:01):
if any one of us was out to dinner as
couples safe, I wouldn't I wouldn't bring it. Neither would
in these offices, it's gonna come up. Let's put a
night's restaurant need Lune by the like Mike is stealing
liquid paper, which is so ninety nine. The fifteen Minute
Morning Show

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