Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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slash fifteen. What would you talk about on your on
(01:04):
your podcasts presents show? But seriously, seriously though, but I
just you know, are you trying to do something nice
around here? A couple of days ago, we got this
(01:25):
this uh, this air freshener for the bathroom with the
liquid in it and plugged into the wall. Yeah. So
I'm like, I'm like, I don't need it at home.
So I go into the men's room here and I
plug it in in the men's room, which by the way,
is the stinkiest room in this entire building. I'm like,
you don't. I'm want to do a favor for every
all the guys in this building. You didn't do us
(01:45):
any favors. Well, I plugged it to last Thursday. I
waiting in there today. The freaking thing has been unplugged
and it's just sitting on the counter. Someone from Mels
worse than the bathroom, I will. You know what, though,
there are some I bought. I don't know which one
of those plugins I bought, but there was a scent
that I plugged in, and I'm with Garrett. It smelled
(02:07):
worse than the smell that was in their origin. You'd
rather live with man stink than an air fresheners everythink
I sprate linen, ocean breeze, whatever I smell. They would
rather smell the toilet than any spray I spray. I
feel like you don't get any respect in your house.
I do not. Even you work in a building with
probably about a hundred other guys that used that bathroom
(02:29):
on and off throughout the day. You know, so you're
assuming ninety nine of those other guys are going to
enjoy that smell that you like, or why did you not?
I don't. I didn't choose the scent. It just came
in a box and I decided to plug it in,
and I figured, whatever is stinks in his bathroom is
(02:51):
a lot worse what with this air Freshmen was mask over?
What scent was it? It's a floral. It was like lilac, right,
something like that. You think the rock guys and the
guys down to hip hop station want to smell lilac
when they take a leak? No? Yeah, but then all right?
So then I tried to cook and producer Joe from
(03:12):
the Jim Kerr Show. He tweeted, Well, first of all,
Scotty Be tweeted on Saturday. Second, come here he Scotty B.
What you knowing who put the air freshener into the
bath What did you write on Saturday morning on your
Facebook page the stinky air freshener. I wrote something to
the effect that somebody was trying to be nice and
(03:33):
put an air freshener in the bathroom, but it now
smells like the Jersey Shore. And I would call the
Saint Anthony right, well, my name is Anthony. But yeah,
and I wrote on your Facebook page and I said
I did it, And then producer Joe from Jim Kerr
Show took that and tweeted it and he literally made
a jiff of the Jersey Shore guys gift T shirt
(03:54):
time gift whatever it is, whatever gift Jeff choosy guys
choose jiff anyway, Yeah, T shirt time because he was
trying to say that it smelled like like like thunder,
But I mean it smells like a knockoff cologne is
what It smells like, like something you'd buy in the street.
Discuss it smells like what you walking when you walk
into Abercrombie that they dropped a box a case of
(04:16):
cologne and didn't clean it up. I can't tell you.
I went in there to, you know, do my biz,
and it smells so bad I couldn't even sit down.
Was worse than ship. My daughter graduated up, my daughter.
I went to a middle school graduation yesterday from my daughter,
and all the boys had like little suits on. Their
hair was all calmed, and they smelled like that because
they were going to a dance afterwards. They smelled like
(04:37):
your spray. Yeah right, well, somebody, what does the matter now?
The bathroom is now back to neutralize because it smells
like it's old self because somebody unplug a dancing well,
you tried, at least you were trying to be ch.
So those air fresheners are the kind of things you'd
find in a restaurant bathroom. I'm doing my restaurant topic
(04:58):
now that daniel here, okay, topic now, Danielle, you have
two kids, Garrett, you have one kids? Scary, you'll never
have children. That's fine. I'm just saying, so I have
three kids. Now, three kids ruins your experience on roller
coaster because it's two, two and one and I'm the
one I sit alone on the roller coaster. You have
to get a bigger car because you have to sit
five comfortably, and the three kids can't be in the
(05:19):
same road because the fighting. You also need a lot
of places. Two rooms at a hotel, Yeah, you need
two rooms because there's two beds and then one kids
to sleep on the couch or the chair. Right. So
when you go to restaurants, you can't they put you.
They try to put you in a booth for four, right,
and they'll stick a fifth on the end. Mike, No, Mike, No,
not doing that because then everybody gets kicked because you
(05:41):
get okay when you are four people, Danielle, when you
would Sheldon and the two kids go out and get
a booth before two on one side, two on the others.
But when I go out to dinner, I have to
sit three on one side, which doesn't fit. So I
ask for a larger booth. Someplaces have a larger booth,
or why don't you just put an extra chair, That's
what I'm saying. Anything then some First of all, the
(06:01):
two people on the end get three quarters of a
setting because someone else is putting their glass down where
their spoons are, and then they kicked the whole time.
You can't you can't move your feet, so the chair
on the end thing f that. So we go to
t j I Fridays, which we love, and they have
a booth for six to eight. It's nice. So when
we go, I say, hey, uh, table for five, and
(06:23):
and they hostesses who don't know any better. We'll try
to stick us at a four and they'll say, oh,
I gotta put you at a four. But it can't
be at a four with an aisle because it's a
fire has it to put a chair in the aisle,
So you have to wait for a four in a
corner so they can stick a chair there. And they
won't give you the six to eight because they're waiting
for a big fact, here's the bullshit they go, it's
for six, it's for six or more. Now here's where
(06:45):
I call bullshit. The the reason they call it you
have to be six is because they put three and three. Well,
if I have three on one side and that requires
a table because I have three on both sides, then
three on one side still requires a bigger table. Yeah, okay,
So the fact that I don't have the sixth person,
I shouldn't be penalized that I can't have the three
(07:06):
and three booths with an inflatable that's your thing, something
for a bachelorette party. Yeah, that's your thing. So every time,
the whole time. But my music, yes, I own. I
want my music. So every time every time we go
to theme restaurants, and we go often we love theme
(07:26):
or who doesn't love nachos and mozrel sticks, I con'stantly
have to have a debate with the manager or the
head hostess. By the way, can I say something offensive? Okay,
so not me anymore. But many years ago, before I
was in radio, we used to I used to manage
theme restaurants, read Robin some other things, right, not me,
(07:48):
But people will refer to the hostess as the doorhore
because that's all they could do. They couldn't they weren't
trusted to wait tables. Again, I didn't call him that.
I'm saying that's an industry term that some people you
still and it's not very nice now, is that? Because
See I thought that was a glamor job. I thought
you worked up to like hostess. You do know you
(08:09):
started hostess when yes, if you thought the compaign you
count four menus. Yes, then go find a table for
four or in my case six, because I'm five. But
I always thoughts, I really thought that the company was like, listen,
we want a good look when you walk in, so
let's put the hottest person. Again, that's where the term
I used comes from. They put the attractive person up front,
but not necessarily someone who could be trusted to white tables. Again,
(08:32):
I'm not saying that's me. I'm saying that you don't
get tips, you get a flat salary and you have
to work your way up anyway. So my point is
I want to be able to go to hula hands
or macaroni grill or chilies and not debate the size
of the table. I'm a table for five. You wouldn't
try to fit five people in two roller coaster cars,
(08:53):
would you know? They wouldn't pull up a chair on
the side of the roller coaster and you should still
inside and you'll fall after the roller coast. So that's
I look. I apolog listen. Have you've been waiting three
weeks to me to bring that topic up? I'm sorry,
but that's my topic. You know there's someone but there's
someone with three kids going yeah, I understand completely. If
(09:14):
you're a family of seven, if you're a family of five,
your family of three, they'll stick you at a two top. Garrett,
this is birth control for you. If you're gonna have
another one, stop at one more, hold on another. We
make the best base babies. You have a you have
a how old hudson too? Right? When you go to
(09:35):
for dinner? Did they put you at a two top
and stick him in in a in a seat? They
give you a table for four? Right? Four? Yeah, he's
got three, they give him four. I'm five. I want six.
That makes you know what to sense And before you
tell me, well, they're holding it so the waitress can
make enough money from six people. Blah blah blah. I
(09:55):
owe a plenty of advertisers. I'm a big tipper, so
I don't want yes, well, because I used to manage restaurants,
so people look, I'm frugal with my money. I'm not cheap.
But you're also that customer too, so oh yeah, I complain,
but everything exactly. So if I saw you coming, if
they don't have your face, if you deny me at
(10:16):
table because you know me, that's a different store. But
don't deny me a table because I had the pleasure
of a third child, which, by the way, I think
is the last time I had pleasure. But seriously, it's
been a while. Anyway, that's my that's my table land.
Feel free to tweet me at David Underscore broad Listen
my podcast Walkers and Dogs. A guest on this podcast advertising.
(10:39):
I've been a guest on yours though, and it's been
it's been fun. Yeah, we'd like to. I have not
been on Danielle's podcast The Conspiracy. Here's my problem with
my conspiracy. Great, it's a great catch though. It's a
great catch, and it's called it's actually going to be
called fake Chicken. To get Greg Tea to sit down
and do it. It's like, here's the thing. You never
record one, so you have a podcast, but the conspiracy
(11:01):
is they won't let you have one, right, No, that
you've already recorded it, and the man will let you
eric because you expose you've done a hundred shows, have
you haven't heard them? And then Meggan Kelly will interview you.
They're fantastic my shows. One day, one day, the man
will let you buy them. Here's what you do. You
should your podcast should be you in a room asking
(11:22):
Greg Ta to record your podcast, just him ranting and
making up stories about how busy his life is. That's
already a podcast. It's has he quit these? They just
don't record it anymore. He's done. First Ronnie left, but
then he told me I'm done with that show. No
he's not. We want to come up with something during
the summer. We were recording one today. As a matter
(11:44):
of fact, he's in on it. You think about a
TV shows make it to a hundred episodes, then after
that they start to my syndication. Yet, my point is
after syndication of a TV show, shows start to go,
I don't need to do this show anymore. I'm good.
You know. The thing is, no, we're going to continue
in some capacity. We're going to do it on a
fair show today. We just think sometime during the summer
(12:06):
we're gonna evolve it into something else. We're gonna blow
up the logo and the jingle and we're gonna do
something completely different. But what about your followers that love
your show? Someone they're gonna stick with us. We have
plenty of people listening a fair Heads, right, yeah, the
all Fairheads. Oh thank you, Daniell I've told you I
listened to your podcast. What do you think of it?
I like it. I don't like when Greg t is
just yell when you guys are yelling at each other,
so show he's not there. But when they're yelling at
(12:32):
each other because they don't agree, and I'm like, guys,
come down. Yeah, I know that that happens. It's okay, though,
we're gonna when comes like when Berdie comes on. I
have never heard Brodie on There's goods go there a
lot lot A few times a few times. I told
you my favorite podcast is not from this radio stage.
(12:53):
Although I do listen. I listened to Acquired Taste. I
have heard walkers and talkers, but sometimes I don't because
I don't want to spoil the show. But I love
DJ Envy and his wife Gia. They do a podcast
called um The Casey Crew. It is awesome so host
Casey and Casey, dj Envy and Casey. It's such so good.
(13:13):
Well enough about plugging on people. Sorry. By the way,
you mentioned the term jumped the shark, right do you?
Does everyone in the room know where that term came from.
It came from Happy Days, right right? Happy Days. It
was a show in the seventies and eighties on and
the and the lead character and he on too long, Yeah,
and so he was for it was for charity with
some reason that he was an Arnold's parking lot, which
(13:36):
is the drive and they all used to hang out
in and they put a shark in a tank and
on a motorcycle. He drove his motorcycle and leaped over
the tank. And it was around the time, like sharks
and jaws were very big. People are still into sharks
in the eighties. And so he jumped over a shark
tank and that was the end of this. And they said,
that's where the people who created jump to shark dot
Com said, that's when Happy Days took a wrong turn.
(13:58):
That's where it came from funds. You Fonzi jumped the shark.
That's when the show was like, Okay, they're out of topics.
Like when we ranted yesterday on this podcast about lemon cookies,
we jumped the shark and didn't. Didn't Tom Cruise jump
a couch once on Oprah he jumped on a couch
perfect timing. Speaking of which, here's bes thing. He was
(14:20):
very excited about his relationship with Katie Holmes, and that's
why he jumped the couch. He jumped the couch. That
was his moment of lucas. Let's reset what that's when
he missed. Sorry guys here. He put a really stinky
air freshener in the men's room and wanted people to
say thank you, but instead they unplug it and threw
it on the floor in protest. Which flavor was it?
It was lilac, Yeah, but that's the thing. It's not
lilac though. It's it's a foe lilac covered in poop smell,
(14:44):
so it's it's a really even worse liac. It's it's
teenage boy cologne. I you know what air fresheners. Those
car air fresheners make me nauseated, the ones with the
trees and the trees. My old car smells the best.
I had a coh co host. I had an old
boss who had the grossest car, and so he just
kept adding air fresheners to his car and he would
(15:06):
always make us drive with him, and they all smelled
like that. They smelled like fake purple about button ones
you put on your air conditioner. I'm gonna start wearing them.
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