December 3, 2025 • 39 mins
On this week's In Service Of host Steve Baltin, who's known Backstreet Boys since the early 2000's, sits down for an incredibly intimate conversation with AJ McLean. In a talk that can only happen between people who've known each other for decades, McLean talks about his new EP, 'My Name Is Alex,' being four years sober, fatherhood, his brotherhood with BSB, his marriage and the Jim Croce classic that reminds him of his grandmother.
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, how's it going to Steve Walton? And this week
we have one of my favorite interviews of the year
on in the Service app. I sat down with the
Backstreet Boy AJ McClain to talk about his new EP.
My name is Alex. I've known AJ for twenty plus
years and this was an incredibly intimate conversation about the EP,
(00:26):
about sobriety, about his marriage, about his relationship with the band,
about his Jim Crochey tattoo. We talked about everything. It
was a really wonderful conversation. He really opened up and
this is the time for him to do the solo EP.
How supportive the guys were of him, how much he's
(00:48):
loving doing the Backstreet Boys as well. So I really
hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did.
Thanks well, thanks for being here today and it's always
(01:12):
great to catch up. And you know, all right, wait,
we're gonna start with a fun one first, rather than
talking about agent because that's not fun. But you know,
I am curious because I do these four ground up
questions and you know, the last one I just did
was favorite lyric? So, what's your theme song that one
song you feel identifies you best.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Wow, favorite theme song or no.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
The theme song, the song that you feel identifies you best.
That would be like your spirit song.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Probably Time in a Bottle by Jim Croachey.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Interesting one. Why that one? And I fucking love that song.
I love Jim croaching Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I that song was my grandmother's favorite song. I actually
have a tattoo with a clock inside of a bottle, uh,
to represent that song. It just the lyrics and everything
about it. I feel like that's my life and and
and even more so today being older, you know, having
(02:17):
the experience the things I've experienced, I feel like it
it really holds true more now, you know. I became
a fan of it when I was like eight or
nine years old, so I didn't really understand it as
much then, but I but I just love the melody
and I love the lyrics, and my grandmother and I
would always sing it in the car when it would
(02:38):
come on the radio, you know, or shoot, pop it
in the uh, pop in the A track or pop
in the cassette tape. But but yeah, that one's just
always stuck out to me.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
No, it's an amazing song. Have you read Cameron Crows
memoir yet?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I haven't. I haven't. I've heard about it, but I haven't.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Okay, well, Cameron's a really close friend at this point.
But it's because in there it's a whole chapter talking
about hanging out with Jim Croche, which you know, of course,
because I was way before my time. I'm like, that's
just insane.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
That's that's a pretty That's a pretty awesome thing to
be able to share. I mean, you know, that would
be like me saying I was you know, I was
hanging out with Elvis or I was hanging out with
you know, Dean Martin, just kicking it. You know that
That's that's a pretty awesome thing to be able to
to have in your back pocket for conversation starter.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
It is, man, I mean, all those songs are so great,
but now, cle I just wanted to start with that
because I love doing these questions because I'm always curious
on people's answers, and I love Jim Croche. But now
if congratulations on the EP. You know, it's my favorite
song I think on the EP initially, And it's interesting
that you chose Time in a Bottle because mine is
(03:53):
probably right now Arizona and the rest. I love that song. Is.
And it's funny because I find this to be the
case so much. The more vulnerable you are as an artist,
the more people respond to it.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
True, and that song definitely, you know. I when we
wrapped up the DNA tour in South Africa May of
twenty twenty three, my wife and I were already separated.
We were living in separate homes. And I called her
when I got home from that from the end of
(04:28):
the tour, and I said, you know, I think I
need a I think I need a break, like a
mental break, and I kind of want to go away
and you know, kind of handle some stuff. And she's like,
whatever you need to do. And you know, I already
(04:48):
had two years sober under my belt. But I I
wanted to get to the root of the problem because
obviously anyone that does understand addiction in any capacity no
that the drinking and the drugs is just symptomatic, that's
not really what the issue is pressing. So I went
(05:10):
to a place called the Meadows in Scottsdale, Arizona, and
I did a intense aboutpatient program for trauma and you know,
all these different things and came to the realization that
you know, AJ is a character in a band that
I've played for thirty two years, and I'm very beyondrateful
(05:30):
for having that opportunity. But Alex got stifled, you know,
unintentionally got stifled for the last forty years for a
plethora of reasons that I discovered while I was in Arizona.
And you know, I learned about boundaries when I was there,
which you know, I knew the word, I just never
(05:51):
implemented it in my life. And now I have boundaries
in my life and it's been an absolute blessing. I
I really discovered because I as my best friend and
my sponsor tells me, you know, we suffer from, as
he calls it, piece of shit ism. And that was
my That was my core issue was low self esteem,
(06:15):
people pleasing looking for external validation, and by staying in
the AJ mode twenty four to seven, I thought that
was the answer. I thought that was how people liked me,
and I would go to the ends of the earth
to make you like me. And now where I am
in my life, if you don't like me, tough shit,
that's your loss. I know I'm a good person and
I'm not going to go bend over backwards for someone
(06:37):
anymore except for my children and my wife and my
family outside of that, and my bandmates of course, but
that's it and my family. But I when I got
home after that trip, I got back in the studio
and I was sharing the story with with my with
my writers, and they said, why don't we write a
(06:58):
song about this? Why don't we write a song about
your experience? And I was like, you know what, Yeah,
let's do it. And it like the minute pen hit
the paper, the words just poured out. And a couple
of years ago, Joey Fatona and I decided to go
on the road together and have a little fun for
the fans, and that was one of the songs I
did in the show. And there was never a dry
(07:21):
eye in the house. It touched people, and it's you're right,
it's vulnerable, it's raw, it's real, and what I hope
people take from it is a personal reflection. I hope
that it inspires people to know that you are good enough,
which was the original song title. It wasn't until maybe
(07:41):
like four months ago that I decided to to just
I do love one word titles more than anything, and
so I was like, you know what, I think I
want to call this song Arizona, make it a little more,
you know, of a mystery and until you listen to
the song and know that it is about being good
(08:03):
enough and we are all good enough no matter what capacity.
So I'm so excited that that's your favorite. That means
a lot to me, man honestly.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Well, because again it is so open and as I say,
I mean when you think back to like you know again,
going back to like Jim Croche or I'm sure so
many of your favorite songs. And it's funny because I
did a book a couple of years ago I'm called
Anthems We Love or. I spoke to like twenty nine
iconic songwriters about how their songs you know, evolved into
(08:32):
becoming an anthem. And what was interesting was right, there
were two songs in there that really stuck out to me.
I mean, some of the best songs of all time.
And by the way, I did try and get you
guys in there, it just didn't work out timing wise.
It was like Brian Wilson, Neil Diamond, all these grace
So novel was interesting and the reason I mentioned it,
I was talking with Daryl Holl about Sarah Smile and
(08:54):
Graham Nash about our house, and those songs which were
literally written for one person, you know, like each became
anthems Bill be loved by millions. And the reason why
is we realize it's the feeling. It's the feeling of
the song captures you want that. You may not know
what it's like to live with Joni Mitchell. Fuck, no
(09:14):
one knows what it's like to live with Joni Mitchell.
Or you never knew Joe Hall's girlfriend, but you wanted
that feeling.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yep, it's true. I mean that's what That's what music does,
and that's why music is so imperative and why you know,
like you said, if you as a writer and as
an artist, are are able to peel back the layers
of the onion and you know, expose yourself in the
most vulnerable way, those are the songs that will stand
(09:43):
the test of time. Those are the songs that will
touch people the most and will stay with them. And
that's that is what Arizona is to me. That's a
song that, regardless of its popularity, once the EP's out,
that's will stay with me personally for the rest of
my life. And it's a testament to the journey I've
(10:08):
been on, and hopefully it becomes like you said, that's
a great word. Hopefully it becomes an anthem for anyone
and everyone, you know, to be able to look at
yourself in the mirror and to know every day, you
know what, I am good enough. However I live my life.
This is enough. I don't need to do anything more.
(10:29):
I don't need to be anymore. I'm good enough. It
took me forty years to figure that out, but you know,
and it's still a work in progress. It's progress, not perfection,
and I embrace that every day. I wake up every
morning and I can look at myself in the mirror
when I'm brushing my teeth and I'm like, yeah, you
(10:51):
know what, I like the person that I'm looking at
right now, in all my imperfections, it doesn't matter, you know.
Like I tell my daughters, I'm perfectly imperfect. Nice.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
How old are the dollars?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
They're great. My oldest turns thirteen. Oh actually on my
EP release day, which is Thanksgiving. Her birthday falls on
Thanksgiving this year, and so no cooking, no turkey. We're
going to the happiest place on earth. We're going to
go to Disneyland with her, with some of her friends
(11:26):
and with family, and my mom's flying in today, so
it's it's gonna be nice. You know. We'll probably get
a turkey leg while we're there. That's about the That's
about as closest to Thanksgiving as we're gonna get.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
All right, wait now, now she's about to be a teenager.
Important question, any idea like what your music is or
does she not give a shit? Because I've talked about
this with every parent in the world, and it doesn't
matter how big you are or how cool you are.
The one I always us as the benchmark is Patty
Smith because Patty Smith I think it's the baddest woman
on the planet. And when I talk with her about it,
(11:59):
she's like, yeah, I went home just doing laundry. I
have just mom.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
No, I mean I am I am definitely dad, you know,
first and foremost. But recently the last show of the
Residency runs the first leg of the Residency in August,
my daughters came out with my wife and with their friends,
and after the show, for the first time since my
(12:26):
both my daughters were born, for the first time, they
pulled me aside in my dressing room and they looked
at me square in the face and they said how
proud they were of me, and I lost it, like
I just babbling Brooke instantly, and it just it. It
was the most incredible feeling, Like for my kids to
(12:48):
say A how proud they are of me, and b
to want to bring their friends to my show. Not
a lot of kids want to bring their friends to
their dad's job, no matter how cool it might seem.
And my girls are my are my true biggest fans,
you know. Right now, they're going through that phase of
(13:08):
we're kind of tired with it. Like Daddy is probably
the most popular he's been in a very long time,
if not the most popular, and anywhere we go, Daddy
gets stopped and it's it's frustrating for them, Like they
just want to hang with dad, and Dad stops and
takes pictures and you know, signs autographs and they're like
(13:28):
my mini security guards. They really, you know, they're not
fans of that part, you know. They they when we're
hanging out just me and them, they just want Dad
and that's what I'm trying to do. But I'm not
going to say no. If somebody asks for a photo.
That's just who I am.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
You know, well, I mean I've talked about this with
many people too, and you know, it's got to be
so gratifying that, you know, as you say, this is
probably the most popular you've ever been. Because the thing is,
when you go through those down cycles, which everybody does,
even David Bowie went thirty years between top ten albums,
(14:07):
when you come back to the top and again, as
someone as Gavin Rossdale once said to me, it's just
called a career, you know. But when you have those
down and come back up, it's like the best feeling
in the world to feel appreciated.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
It is, you know, especially you know groups like us.
You know, it doesn't it doesn't happen. It just doesn't.
I mean, the Beatles were together for seven years. You know,
granted they did a gaggle of albums, but that was
a different time. You know, you could write three albums
a year. You know, we don't write three albums a year.
(14:43):
But you know, to be here for thirty two years
and still be doing the things we're doing, or being
asked to do the things that we're being asked to do,
it just doesn't happen. It truly is a phenomenon, and
I pinched myself truly every day, and and now where
I am mentally and physically in my life as an individual,
(15:08):
I can really finally appreciate it, and I can honestly go,
you know what, yeah, damn right, we sold one hundred
and sixty million albums. Damn right, we did this, and
that like, I can finally own it. And because for years,
you know, people would give me compliments and I would
not along, but I never felt worthy of those compliments,
(15:29):
whether it was about the group or it was about myself.
And now I you know, I'm able to own that
feeling now, and that's a great feeling. And people were,
you know, shocked, like how do you not already? You know,
how have you not felt this for years? And I'm like,
because I didn't think I was I was worth it.
I didn't think I was good enough of man. You know,
I was putting on my mask and doing my job
(15:52):
and that was it. But today is a completely different feeling,
and you know that's because of the work I put
in on myself and will continue to put in on
myself daily. It is a really surreal feeling, you know,
to be here thirty two years later selling out sphere,
(16:13):
adding more dates, and you know it's just it's just crazy.
You know, it really is a phenomenon. Honestly, it's a
testament to the fans, to the music, to Max Martin
and to the other writers we've worked with.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Well, also the the hard work in the ethic and like,
as you say, being there for the fans. But it's interesting,
So I'm want to go back to that for a second.
You know what I mean by nature as an artist,
you're just never satisfied, and most artists come, honestly from insecurity.
I remember Chris Cornell, who to me was like should
(17:00):
have been the ultimate rock god, you know, the best
looking guy in the world, greatest voice, nicest guy by
the way too, and he's yea, he told me, as
great frontmen never come from like the popular kids. Every
front man is an outcast. And it's curious for you,
as you've been around so many artists, so are the
(17:21):
people that you've learned from how to kind of handle
that and to accept the success because it's always tricky
and it's normal that you've had this response because you know,
you start off a certain way, you come in you're
not sure about it. And then all of a sudden,
you know, everybody who like in high school didn't like
you now thinks you're the coolest fucking person in the world.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Of course, you know. I you know, I'll never forget
when I was in high school, which was really really
only my freshman year, and then I and then I
left and I got tutored, and I went back and
you know, graduated and got my diploma, and people looked
at me like, who the hell is this guy? Where
have you been for the last four years? And you know,
and then I got my diploma and hopped on a
(18:01):
plane back to Germany to do our first you know,
solo show. But uh, you know, there was a lot
of people that doubted me, like teachers that were like,
you know, don't get your hopes up. This thing's not
going to work. You know, new kids did it, so
and so did it, you know, blah blah blah. And
(18:21):
then look at what happened, obviously, but you're right, there
was a lot of people that thought this was going
to fail. And you know, and then, you know, being
so young at fourteen, when when this thing started for me,
I started digging that in my head, like in the
back of my mind, like, is this going to fail?
Is this just a quick little thing? Is you know,
(18:45):
is is this going to have any any true longevity?
And and that's the thing that we always strive for
is to have a career, Like you said, that's what
this is. This is a career. We you know, Kevin
said it recently in some interview that we were striving
to be the rolling stones of pop, like to be
around as long as the stones and you know, still
(19:09):
doing what we do. I mean, there's gonna come a
point where we don't dance anymore, but we but we
can still get up there and sing, still get up
there and do our and do our five part harmony
and and bring you know, joy to people. And that's
what we're gonna do. I mean, we're the only ones
that can really truly say we're done when we're ready
to be done. And I don't know if we're ever
gonna be ready to be done, you know, I mean,
(19:31):
we're gonna do this for as long as we physically can.
It brings us so much joy and to look out
in the audience and see four generations of fans, that's
just that to me is the most exciting thing because
my daughter's friends. You know, both my girls are eight
and almost thirteen, and their friends are fans of us
(19:53):
and look at us like a brand new group, even
though we've been around, you know, for a long time.
And that's just really cool. You know that eight year
olds think that we're awesome and like, that's awesome. You know,
that's a whole new generation of fans.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Yeah, No, it is interesting. I mean it's funny because
you know, I was just smiling when you said that,
because then I'm trying to picture you guys at eighty
years old, like the Stones ab up on stage. But
it's kind of both.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Yeah, So for you, how gratifying is it then? To like,
now it seems like you're in the perfect artistic place.
And I've talked about this with many people as well,
Like right when you're in Springsteen Z Street Band, right
and you're Steve van Zant, or you're Jake Clemons, you
get to put out solo records and play clubs and
then go and headline stadiums with Bruce, you know, or
(20:43):
I talked to Joe Perry about it with Aerosmith and
Hollywood Vampires, and now you're in this place where you
have the Backstreet Boys and all the camaraderie and all
the success, and you get to challenge yourself artistically with
you know, doing the solo stuff. How gratifying is that
because you get to express yourself to you get to
express yourself rather than your multiple personalities.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Sorry in all ways, yeah, I mean this is you know,
I put out my first solo project in two thousand
and nine or two thousand and eight, one of those,
and you know it, it was a great album. Don't
get me wrong. It was only released overseas. You know,
I didn't have great representation then, so it didn't really
(21:25):
get as much push as I would have hoped. But
if you listen to that first record, every song sounds
like a Backstreet Boy song. Like I didn't know myself
well enough yet to kind of break away and to
really find my own voice. So everything that I wrote,
the arrangements, the harmonies, all you know, all I was
(21:48):
programmed to do was boy band type stuff. So that's
what that album came out sounding like. Granted, the songs
were great, the lyrics were great, but now you know,
this has been four years in the making, you know,
because of schedule and music change, my my my way
(22:09):
of thinking has changed, you know, in the last four years,
and the cream has risen to the top. You know,
I've you know, this has been such an explorative process
and a very therapeutic process, and it's so rewarding to
finally get to stand on my own two feet outside
(22:31):
of the group and get the love and support from
my band. Because I know a lot of bands they've
had members go solo and the rest of the band
is not happy about it. They don't support it and
they try to shoot it down. And my boys are
not like that. They're extremely supportive. It meant the world
to me. The other day, I've been posting snippets on
(22:52):
my socials and Kevin responded to one of the first
ones I posted, and he's like, Wow, what a great
song and you put a bunch of hearts, and I
was just like, dude, that's that's just that's so awesome.
Like my boys love it, and that's that just is
such an encouragement to me. But I'm ecstatic about this
(23:14):
project as a whole. The EP was a real challenge
for me to kind of figure out what songs to
put on there that would kind of represent the album
as a whole, and I think we nailed it with
these six songs. I think across the board it kind
of shows what the full album is going to be.
And we just finished recording the album two weeks ago.
(23:38):
We did six songs in three days and they just
kept coming. They just kept coming. And I told my producer,
I said, Okay, if I tell you I want to
go back in the studio tomorrow, don't answer the phone
because I'll I'll stay in the studio and I'll keep
writing until my hand bleeds. But I said, we have
to be done in order for me to make my
(24:00):
birthday deadline for my album. We have to be done.
But I think this is my My manager said it
to me the other day, my wife said it to me,
and two of my bandmates have said the same thing.
This is the best body of work I've ever done.
And I've been writing music for a long time. I
(24:22):
think collectively, in the last ten years, I have probably
six albums worth of material. But this is the best
I've ever done, and that means a lot to me.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Well's so interesting you say it's therapeutic, because I'm a
huge believer in the idea that most great, not most
almost everyone I talk to you says great songwriting is subconscious,
you know, Like I mean, Jimmy Cliff, who we just lost,
told me he wrote many Rivers Cross in ten minutes
on the way to the studio.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Neil Diamond said Sweet Caroline came from God. And so
what often happens is when you write a song, then
you go I can hear it and you're like, oh,
you know, I was thinking that, and you learn so
much from it. So were there songs off this album
that you really learned a lot from because again, oh yeah,
that coming from the subconscious?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
No, there is. I mean, Arizona definitely is number one.
There's another song on the album called better Man, which
to me is like the I would say is the
sister song to Arizona, but it's on the flip side.
You know. Arizona is kind of about the journey, and
better Man is kind of where I am today. I
feel like I am a better man for all the
(25:34):
things I've been through and all the things I've experienced
and continue to experience and continue to learn. I'm a sponge.
I've always been a sponge, and I will always absorb
the good and the bad and then figure out how
it applies to me. There's you know, there's other songs
(25:57):
that are kind of from personal experience. Thinking about us
on the EP was inspired by my wife and our
situation we are, you know, we've we're kind of coming
out the other end right now and her and I
are and probably the best place we've ever been since
we met. And we both see a future together and
(26:21):
that brings me so much joy. But I think we
both needed this break for us to grow as individuals,
because you know, like they say, obviously absence makes the
heart grow fonder. Yes, that's true, but also if you
can't love yourself, you can't love another human being. And
for us to do this time apart and to really
(26:43):
learn to love ourselves has really brought us together so
much stronger, all the while co parenting and putting our
children first and taking care of my kids. And you know,
there's songs on the album that are just fun to
just and joyful records. And then you know, there's another
(27:04):
song called Relapse that's on the album that I that
I wrote in the in the perspective of a relationship,
but it's really about the drink. And but I'm using
a relationship as the metaphor, and it's a really really
(27:25):
cool song. The melodies and it's it's just it's just
a really great song. But as this process has been happening,
you know, the conversations that happen in the studio amongst
my writers and myself, that's where the growing has been happening. Obviously,
writing the lyrics out and you know, finishing these songs
(27:47):
has been a great growing process, But it's the conversations
that happen in the rooms with my writers, with my producer.
We're all family, we're friends, but it's these heartfelt conversations
that I'll never forget that I can take with me
forever and I can reflect back on. And something else
(28:09):
I do. When I finished writing a song, I don't
listen to it for about a week. I just write it.
It's done. I let my producer do what he has
to do. I don't let him send me a copy.
I just I don't want to hear it for a week,
so I can hear it with fresh years, and it's
it's it's just, it's it's like a sweet little surprise.
(28:31):
And you know, hearing these songs now that I wrote
three months ago, because we're in the final mixing phase
to get the album done. I'm like, oh, crap, I
forgot about that one. Oh crap, I forgot about that one.
That one's great, Holy shit. And yeah, so every song
on this album, every song, there's not one song that
(28:52):
I feel people are gonna skip over. There's not one.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Well, you know, so the EPs called him name out
since the name of the album as well.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Actually the album is my name is Alexander James.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Okay, Yeah, what I was gonna ask is does it
feel good at this point? I mean, I'm sure it
feels great at this point to be able to do that.
And as you say, AJ was a character, you know,
and again not like you know, a bad character, but
it's just I've talked about this with a lot of people.
You kind of get trapped in a way in your success.
(29:40):
And now it's like you're at a place in your
life where it's like, yes, AJ is cool, and you
love your bandmates and all of that, but you also
can say that the world this is who I am
as well. And again, I mean, so many great musicians
have lived with that and struggled with that and had
a hard time figuring out how to get you, you know,
because of course everybody wants to.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Be who they know you to be exactly. And you know,
it's interesting because, over I say, like the past maybe
five to six years, for whatever reason, fans, especially in
Latin America, Mexico, Canada, a lot of fans just for
(30:20):
whatever reason started calling me Alex. I don't know why
I didn't put it out there. I didn't say anything
about it in like interviews. They just started calling me Alex.
And you know, it took me a minute to respond.
I'm like, oh shit, that's my name, that's right. And
but now, you know, finally being able to embrace Alex
(30:42):
and give him an opportunity to shine is is probably
the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced, because, you know,
getting to show the world who I am as an individual.
You know, could I could I do it under the pseudonym,
(31:02):
you know, aj sure? But then it then it still
takes you immediately back to the group. And again, there's
nothing wrong with that. And I wouldn't even have an
opportunity to do something on my own if it wasn't
for being in this band, I don't truly believe. But
(31:22):
to have this opportunity now of complete and other freedom
to express myself truly as who I am on my
own two feet is the most incredible gratifying thing. And
you know, yes, is there is there hints of Backstreet
(31:43):
Boys on the album, maybe here and there, but as
a whole, I don't think any song really could be
a Backstreet Boy record. I think every song truly is
a great representation of who I am, my personal love
(32:04):
for different genres of music. I mean, we have rock
on this album, we have R and B, we have funk,
we have like almost like a blues jazz like. We
have a little bit of everything that inspires me. And
it's kind of hard to do that in the group sense,
(32:25):
even though we've had songs that are country records, we've
had rock songs like Incomplete, but overall Backstreet is strictly
pop and I struggled with that. Four years ago when
I started writing this record, I wanted to go like
straight urban or straight funk, and was it believable. Yes,
(32:47):
But then after my little trip to Arizona, I realized,
why why go so left field? Why not embrace who
I am. I'm a pop artist. There's nothing wrong with that,
and I can still implement musically the genres that I'm
a fan of, the R and B, the funk, the rock,
(33:09):
the soul, and the minute I put my vocals on it,
I'm gonna make it my own. But it is still
pop music and and and I'm I'm finally able to
lean into that and to be comfortable with that. You know,
I was fighting that at the beginning of this writing
process so hard, and now I'm like, no, you know what,
(33:31):
lean into what you are, into who you are, and
you know, obviously my second record looking down the road,
my second record. Yeah, then maybe once I've established myself,
then we can go straight eighties funk or like, you
know whatever. But to start, no, let's let's let's do
(33:52):
something that's familiar but fresh.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
I imagine as well. Having this other outlet is maybe
actually more fun too. Not that Backstreet wasn't great, but
it's like, now you get to satisfy all sides. So
when you come back to back Street, like when you
do the Sphere, it's like, all right, well, now I
just enjoy this, like because I feel so creatively fulfilled.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Oh absolutely, I mean, I'm you know, it's that age
old saying I'm getting my cake and eating it too.
It's like, this is the best it's the best time
to be alive for me, honestly, Like, yes, it's so
rewarding to be doing the most state of the art
venue in the on the on the planet with my
with my brothers, celebrating our biggest album, selling it out,
(34:38):
you know, taking people down this incredible journey, and it's
so rewarding, and it's so pleasing and it's so much fun,
and I can't wait to get back. Honestly, all of
us are chomping at the bit to get back to Vegas.
But on the other side of the coin to finally
have the freedom and the joy to know that body
(35:00):
of work that I've been working on for four years
is finally here and I get to share with the
world and I and I and I get to have
the same level of joy that I get from being
with my boys on my own, if not more, if
not a little more, you know, And it is it's
(35:22):
the best of both worlds. And I've told my boys,
and I've told the fans, and I've told my team.
You know, people have said, so what if what if
this album Knock on Wood blows up? Like this whole
thing just blows up and you know you're you're getting
offers to do arenas. Will you leave the group? Absolutely not.
(35:42):
There is not a chance in hell I would ever
abandon my boys. I believe I can have both both
worlds coexist. And sure it's a lot of work, but
I love to work and I love what I do,
So it's about balance, you know.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Cool. Well, we'll wrap up in a second because the
zoom is about to end, but I want to ask
you quickly. The name of the podcast is in Service Off,
and it started with the idea of giving back philanthropically,
but I've realized in talking to so many instants, as
an artist, you're always in service off. Because again, I'm
like you talked about Arizona and hopefully that becomes an
anthem for fans. I'm sure you've heard from a zillion people.
(36:25):
How you know they danced at two I want it
all at their wedding, or they had babies to it
or whatever it is. You know, so as an artist,
you're always in service off. So for you, what does
it mean being in service up to the music or
are there any particular charities that are really important to you?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
I mean, I am a huge advocate for the LGBTQ
plus community. I'm also a huge, huge animal lover. You know,
I wish there was more non lethal shelters out there
that if a dog or a cat and get adopted,
that they get put down, you know. And I've been
(37:07):
a huge supporter for the LGBTQ plus community for decades
and as well as anything and everything in the mental
health space. If I can give back by being of service,
and whether it's through my music or it's actually me
tangibly being somewhere sharing my story, That's why I've been
(37:30):
so open in public about my recovery and about my journey.
Is if my story helps one person, then I did
my job. You know. That is you know, if you
look at it as a twelve step program, that is
what the twelfth step of AA is is being of
service and sharing your experience, strength and hope with others
(37:50):
in hope that you can take, you know, help someone
get sober. And with the mental health crisis happening and
no longer being swept under the ruugh it's being talked
about now, I want to be on the forefront of
that any way that I can. And I think Arizona
in particular is a great stepping stone for that. And
(38:14):
I hope that that song becomes an anthem for the
mental health community and becomes an anthem for those that,
like I said, don't feel good enough, and it kind
of empowers them to feel strong and feel confident and
(38:34):
to love themselves, because we need a lot more love
in this world. We really do. You know, the world's
going to shit, going to shit in a handbag. But
as long as we love each other and love our neighbor,
we're we're gonna be just fine.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
That is a beautiful wrap up now that this is
about to end. Is there anything that you want to
add that I did not ask you about.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
No, I just, you know, thank you to everyone that
has been reporting me since day one. I am. I'm
over the moon. I'm elated that the support has been overwhelming.
And I love my fans. I love our fans, and
I want to wish everyone a happy Turkey Day. And
(39:19):
we do have a lot to be thankful for. I
know I do. And true victory is victory over oneself.
I'll leave you with that.
Hey, how's it going to Steve Walton? And this week
we have one of my favorite interviews of the year
on in the Service app. I sat down with the
Backstreet Boy AJ McClain to talk about his new EP.
My name is Alex. I've known AJ for twenty plus
years and this was an incredibly intimate conversation about the EP,
(00:26):
about sobriety, about his marriage, about his relationship with the band,
about his Jim Crochey tattoo. We talked about everything. It
was a really wonderful conversation. He really opened up and
this is the time for him to do the solo EP.
How supportive the guys were of him, how much he's
(00:48):
loving doing the Backstreet Boys as well. So I really
hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did.
Thanks well, thanks for being here today and it's always
(01:12):
great to catch up. And you know, all right, wait,
we're gonna start with a fun one first, rather than
talking about agent because that's not fun. But you know,
I am curious because I do these four ground up
questions and you know, the last one I just did
was favorite lyric? So, what's your theme song that one
song you feel identifies you best.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Wow, favorite theme song or no.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
The theme song, the song that you feel identifies you best.
That would be like your spirit song.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Probably Time in a Bottle by Jim Croachey.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Interesting one. Why that one? And I fucking love that song.
I love Jim croaching Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I that song was my grandmother's favorite song. I actually
have a tattoo with a clock inside of a bottle, uh,
to represent that song. It just the lyrics and everything
about it. I feel like that's my life and and
and even more so today being older, you know, having
(02:17):
the experience the things I've experienced, I feel like it
it really holds true more now, you know. I became
a fan of it when I was like eight or
nine years old, so I didn't really understand it as
much then, but I but I just love the melody
and I love the lyrics, and my grandmother and I
would always sing it in the car when it would
(02:38):
come on the radio, you know, or shoot, pop it
in the uh, pop in the A track or pop
in the cassette tape. But but yeah, that one's just
always stuck out to me.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
No, it's an amazing song. Have you read Cameron Crows
memoir yet?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I haven't. I haven't. I've heard about it, but I haven't.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Okay, well, Cameron's a really close friend at this point.
But it's because in there it's a whole chapter talking
about hanging out with Jim Croche, which you know, of course,
because I was way before my time. I'm like, that's
just insane.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
That's that's a pretty That's a pretty awesome thing to
be able to share. I mean, you know, that would
be like me saying I was you know, I was
hanging out with Elvis or I was hanging out with
you know, Dean Martin, just kicking it. You know that
That's that's a pretty awesome thing to be able to
to have in your back pocket for conversation starter.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
It is, man, I mean, all those songs are so great,
but now, cle I just wanted to start with that
because I love doing these questions because I'm always curious
on people's answers, and I love Jim Croche. But now
if congratulations on the EP. You know, it's my favorite
song I think on the EP initially, And it's interesting
that you chose Time in a Bottle because mine is
(03:53):
probably right now Arizona and the rest. I love that song. Is.
And it's funny because I find this to be the
case so much. The more vulnerable you are as an artist,
the more people respond to it.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
True, and that song definitely, you know. I when we
wrapped up the DNA tour in South Africa May of
twenty twenty three, my wife and I were already separated.
We were living in separate homes. And I called her
when I got home from that from the end of
(04:28):
the tour, and I said, you know, I think I
need a I think I need a break, like a
mental break, and I kind of want to go away
and you know, kind of handle some stuff. And she's like,
whatever you need to do. And you know, I already
(04:48):
had two years sober under my belt. But I I
wanted to get to the root of the problem because
obviously anyone that does understand addiction in any capacity no
that the drinking and the drugs is just symptomatic, that's
not really what the issue is pressing. So I went
(05:10):
to a place called the Meadows in Scottsdale, Arizona, and
I did a intense aboutpatient program for trauma and you know,
all these different things and came to the realization that
you know, AJ is a character in a band that
I've played for thirty two years, and I'm very beyondrateful
(05:30):
for having that opportunity. But Alex got stifled, you know,
unintentionally got stifled for the last forty years for a
plethora of reasons that I discovered while I was in Arizona.
And you know, I learned about boundaries when I was there,
which you know, I knew the word, I just never
(05:51):
implemented it in my life. And now I have boundaries
in my life and it's been an absolute blessing. I
I really discovered because I as my best friend and
my sponsor tells me, you know, we suffer from, as
he calls it, piece of shit ism. And that was
my That was my core issue was low self esteem,
(06:15):
people pleasing looking for external validation, and by staying in
the AJ mode twenty four to seven, I thought that
was the answer. I thought that was how people liked me,
and I would go to the ends of the earth
to make you like me. And now where I am
in my life, if you don't like me, tough shit,
that's your loss. I know I'm a good person and
I'm not going to go bend over backwards for someone
(06:37):
anymore except for my children and my wife and my
family outside of that, and my bandmates of course, but
that's it and my family. But I when I got
home after that trip, I got back in the studio
and I was sharing the story with with my with
my writers, and they said, why don't we write a
(06:58):
song about this? Why don't we write a song about
your experience? And I was like, you know what, Yeah,
let's do it. And it like the minute pen hit
the paper, the words just poured out. And a couple
of years ago, Joey Fatona and I decided to go
on the road together and have a little fun for
the fans, and that was one of the songs I
did in the show. And there was never a dry
(07:21):
eye in the house. It touched people, and it's you're right,
it's vulnerable, it's raw, it's real, and what I hope
people take from it is a personal reflection. I hope
that it inspires people to know that you are good enough,
which was the original song title. It wasn't until maybe
(07:41):
like four months ago that I decided to to just
I do love one word titles more than anything, and
so I was like, you know what, I think I
want to call this song Arizona, make it a little more,
you know, of a mystery and until you listen to
the song and know that it is about being good
(08:03):
enough and we are all good enough no matter what capacity.
So I'm so excited that that's your favorite. That means
a lot to me, man honestly.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Well, because again it is so open and as I say,
I mean when you think back to like you know again,
going back to like Jim Croche or I'm sure so
many of your favorite songs. And it's funny because I
did a book a couple of years ago I'm called
Anthems We Love or. I spoke to like twenty nine
iconic songwriters about how their songs you know, evolved into
(08:32):
becoming an anthem. And what was interesting was right, there
were two songs in there that really stuck out to me.
I mean, some of the best songs of all time.
And by the way, I did try and get you
guys in there, it just didn't work out timing wise.
It was like Brian Wilson, Neil Diamond, all these grace
So novel was interesting and the reason I mentioned it,
I was talking with Daryl Holl about Sarah Smile and
(08:54):
Graham Nash about our house, and those songs which were
literally written for one person, you know, like each became
anthems Bill be loved by millions. And the reason why
is we realize it's the feeling. It's the feeling of
the song captures you want that. You may not know
what it's like to live with Joni Mitchell. Fuck, no
(09:14):
one knows what it's like to live with Joni Mitchell.
Or you never knew Joe Hall's girlfriend, but you wanted
that feeling.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yep, it's true. I mean that's what That's what music does,
and that's why music is so imperative and why you know,
like you said, if you as a writer and as
an artist, are are able to peel back the layers
of the onion and you know, expose yourself in the
most vulnerable way, those are the songs that will stand
(09:43):
the test of time. Those are the songs that will
touch people the most and will stay with them. And
that's that is what Arizona is to me. That's a
song that, regardless of its popularity, once the EP's out,
that's will stay with me personally for the rest of
my life. And it's a testament to the journey I've
(10:08):
been on, and hopefully it becomes like you said, that's
a great word. Hopefully it becomes an anthem for anyone
and everyone, you know, to be able to look at
yourself in the mirror and to know every day, you
know what, I am good enough. However I live my life.
This is enough. I don't need to do anything more.
(10:29):
I don't need to be anymore. I'm good enough. It
took me forty years to figure that out, but you know,
and it's still a work in progress. It's progress, not perfection,
and I embrace that every day. I wake up every
morning and I can look at myself in the mirror
when I'm brushing my teeth and I'm like, yeah, you
(10:51):
know what, I like the person that I'm looking at
right now, in all my imperfections, it doesn't matter, you know.
Like I tell my daughters, I'm perfectly imperfect. Nice.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
How old are the dollars?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
They're great. My oldest turns thirteen. Oh actually on my
EP release day, which is Thanksgiving. Her birthday falls on
Thanksgiving this year, and so no cooking, no turkey. We're
going to the happiest place on earth. We're going to
go to Disneyland with her, with some of her friends
(11:26):
and with family, and my mom's flying in today, so
it's it's gonna be nice. You know. We'll probably get
a turkey leg while we're there. That's about the That's
about as closest to Thanksgiving as we're gonna get.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
All right, wait now, now she's about to be a teenager.
Important question, any idea like what your music is or
does she not give a shit? Because I've talked about
this with every parent in the world, and it doesn't
matter how big you are or how cool you are.
The one I always us as the benchmark is Patty
Smith because Patty Smith I think it's the baddest woman
on the planet. And when I talk with her about it,
(11:59):
she's like, yeah, I went home just doing laundry. I
have just mom.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
No, I mean I am I am definitely dad, you know,
first and foremost. But recently the last show of the
Residency runs the first leg of the Residency in August,
my daughters came out with my wife and with their friends,
and after the show, for the first time since my
(12:26):
both my daughters were born, for the first time, they
pulled me aside in my dressing room and they looked
at me square in the face and they said how
proud they were of me, and I lost it, like
I just babbling Brooke instantly, and it just it. It
was the most incredible feeling, Like for my kids to
(12:48):
say A how proud they are of me, and b
to want to bring their friends to my show. Not
a lot of kids want to bring their friends to
their dad's job, no matter how cool it might seem.
And my girls are my are my true biggest fans,
you know. Right now, they're going through that phase of
(13:08):
we're kind of tired with it. Like Daddy is probably
the most popular he's been in a very long time,
if not the most popular, and anywhere we go, Daddy
gets stopped and it's it's frustrating for them, Like they
just want to hang with dad, and Dad stops and
takes pictures and you know, signs autographs and they're like
(13:28):
my mini security guards. They really, you know, they're not
fans of that part, you know. They they when we're
hanging out just me and them, they just want Dad
and that's what I'm trying to do. But I'm not
going to say no. If somebody asks for a photo.
That's just who I am.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
You know, well, I mean I've talked about this with
many people too, and you know, it's got to be
so gratifying that, you know, as you say, this is
probably the most popular you've ever been. Because the thing is,
when you go through those down cycles, which everybody does,
even David Bowie went thirty years between top ten albums,
(14:07):
when you come back to the top and again, as
someone as Gavin Rossdale once said to me, it's just
called a career, you know. But when you have those
down and come back up, it's like the best feeling
in the world to feel appreciated.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
It is, you know, especially you know groups like us.
You know, it doesn't it doesn't happen. It just doesn't.
I mean, the Beatles were together for seven years. You know,
granted they did a gaggle of albums, but that was
a different time. You know, you could write three albums
a year. You know, we don't write three albums a year.
(14:43):
But you know, to be here for thirty two years
and still be doing the things we're doing, or being
asked to do the things that we're being asked to do,
it just doesn't happen. It truly is a phenomenon, and
I pinched myself truly every day, and and now where
I am mentally and physically in my life as an individual,
(15:08):
I can really finally appreciate it, and I can honestly go,
you know what, yeah, damn right, we sold one hundred
and sixty million albums. Damn right, we did this, and
that like, I can finally own it. And because for years,
you know, people would give me compliments and I would
not along, but I never felt worthy of those compliments,
(15:29):
whether it was about the group or it was about myself.
And now I you know, I'm able to own that
feeling now, and that's a great feeling. And people were,
you know, shocked, like how do you not already? You know,
how have you not felt this for years? And I'm like,
because I didn't think I was I was worth it.
I didn't think I was good enough of man. You know,
I was putting on my mask and doing my job
(15:52):
and that was it. But today is a completely different feeling,
and you know that's because of the work I put
in on myself and will continue to put in on
myself daily. It is a really surreal feeling, you know,
to be here thirty two years later selling out sphere,
(16:13):
adding more dates, and you know it's just it's just crazy.
You know, it really is a phenomenon. Honestly, it's a
testament to the fans, to the music, to Max Martin
and to the other writers we've worked with.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Well, also the the hard work in the ethic and like,
as you say, being there for the fans. But it's interesting,
So I'm want to go back to that for a second.
You know what I mean by nature as an artist,
you're just never satisfied, and most artists come, honestly from insecurity.
I remember Chris Cornell, who to me was like should
(17:00):
have been the ultimate rock god, you know, the best
looking guy in the world, greatest voice, nicest guy by
the way too, and he's yea, he told me, as
great frontmen never come from like the popular kids. Every
front man is an outcast. And it's curious for you,
as you've been around so many artists, so are the
(17:21):
people that you've learned from how to kind of handle
that and to accept the success because it's always tricky
and it's normal that you've had this response because you know,
you start off a certain way, you come in you're
not sure about it. And then all of a sudden,
you know, everybody who like in high school didn't like
you now thinks you're the coolest fucking person in the world.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Of course, you know. I you know, I'll never forget
when I was in high school, which was really really
only my freshman year, and then I and then I
left and I got tutored, and I went back and
you know, graduated and got my diploma, and people looked
at me like, who the hell is this guy? Where
have you been for the last four years? And you know,
and then I got my diploma and hopped on a
(18:01):
plane back to Germany to do our first you know,
solo show. But uh, you know, there was a lot
of people that doubted me, like teachers that were like,
you know, don't get your hopes up. This thing's not
going to work. You know, new kids did it, so
and so did it, you know, blah blah blah. And
(18:21):
then look at what happened, obviously, but you're right, there
was a lot of people that thought this was going
to fail. And you know, and then, you know, being
so young at fourteen, when when this thing started for me,
I started digging that in my head, like in the
back of my mind, like, is this going to fail?
Is this just a quick little thing? Is you know,
(18:45):
is is this going to have any any true longevity?
And and that's the thing that we always strive for
is to have a career, Like you said, that's what
this is. This is a career. We you know, Kevin
said it recently in some interview that we were striving
to be the rolling stones of pop, like to be
around as long as the stones and you know, still
(19:09):
doing what we do. I mean, there's gonna come a
point where we don't dance anymore, but we but we
can still get up there and sing, still get up
there and do our and do our five part harmony
and and bring you know, joy to people. And that's
what we're gonna do. I mean, we're the only ones
that can really truly say we're done when we're ready
to be done. And I don't know if we're ever
gonna be ready to be done, you know, I mean,
(19:31):
we're gonna do this for as long as we physically can.
It brings us so much joy and to look out
in the audience and see four generations of fans, that's
just that to me is the most exciting thing because
my daughter's friends. You know, both my girls are eight
and almost thirteen, and their friends are fans of us
(19:53):
and look at us like a brand new group, even
though we've been around, you know, for a long time.
And that's just really cool. You know that eight year
olds think that we're awesome and like, that's awesome. You know,
that's a whole new generation of fans.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Yeah, No, it is interesting. I mean it's funny because
you know, I was just smiling when you said that,
because then I'm trying to picture you guys at eighty
years old, like the Stones ab up on stage. But
it's kind of both.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Yeah, So for you, how gratifying is it then? To like,
now it seems like you're in the perfect artistic place.
And I've talked about this with many people as well,
Like right when you're in Springsteen Z Street Band, right
and you're Steve van Zant, or you're Jake Clemons, you
get to put out solo records and play clubs and
then go and headline stadiums with Bruce, you know, or
(20:43):
I talked to Joe Perry about it with Aerosmith and
Hollywood Vampires, and now you're in this place where you
have the Backstreet Boys and all the camaraderie and all
the success, and you get to challenge yourself artistically with
you know, doing the solo stuff. How gratifying is that
because you get to express yourself to you get to
express yourself rather than your multiple personalities.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Sorry in all ways, yeah, I mean this is you know,
I put out my first solo project in two thousand
and nine or two thousand and eight, one of those,
and you know it, it was a great album. Don't
get me wrong. It was only released overseas. You know,
I didn't have great representation then, so it didn't really
(21:25):
get as much push as I would have hoped. But
if you listen to that first record, every song sounds
like a Backstreet Boy song. Like I didn't know myself
well enough yet to kind of break away and to
really find my own voice. So everything that I wrote,
the arrangements, the harmonies, all you know, all I was
(21:48):
programmed to do was boy band type stuff. So that's
what that album came out sounding like. Granted, the songs
were great, the lyrics were great, but now you know,
this has been four years in the making, you know,
because of schedule and music change, my my my way
(22:09):
of thinking has changed, you know, in the last four years,
and the cream has risen to the top. You know,
I've you know, this has been such an explorative process
and a very therapeutic process, and it's so rewarding to
finally get to stand on my own two feet outside
(22:31):
of the group and get the love and support from
my band. Because I know a lot of bands they've
had members go solo and the rest of the band
is not happy about it. They don't support it and
they try to shoot it down. And my boys are
not like that. They're extremely supportive. It meant the world
to me. The other day, I've been posting snippets on
(22:52):
my socials and Kevin responded to one of the first
ones I posted, and he's like, Wow, what a great
song and you put a bunch of hearts, and I
was just like, dude, that's that's just that's so awesome.
Like my boys love it, and that's that just is
such an encouragement to me. But I'm ecstatic about this
(23:14):
project as a whole. The EP was a real challenge
for me to kind of figure out what songs to
put on there that would kind of represent the album
as a whole, and I think we nailed it with
these six songs. I think across the board it kind
of shows what the full album is going to be.
And we just finished recording the album two weeks ago.
(23:38):
We did six songs in three days and they just
kept coming. They just kept coming. And I told my producer,
I said, Okay, if I tell you I want to
go back in the studio tomorrow, don't answer the phone
because I'll I'll stay in the studio and I'll keep
writing until my hand bleeds. But I said, we have
to be done in order for me to make my
(24:00):
birthday deadline for my album. We have to be done.
But I think this is my My manager said it
to me the other day, my wife said it to me,
and two of my bandmates have said the same thing.
This is the best body of work I've ever done.
And I've been writing music for a long time. I
(24:22):
think collectively, in the last ten years, I have probably
six albums worth of material. But this is the best
I've ever done, and that means a lot to me.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Well's so interesting you say it's therapeutic, because I'm a
huge believer in the idea that most great, not most
almost everyone I talk to you says great songwriting is subconscious,
you know, Like I mean, Jimmy Cliff, who we just lost,
told me he wrote many Rivers Cross in ten minutes
on the way to the studio.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Neil Diamond said Sweet Caroline came from God. And so
what often happens is when you write a song, then
you go I can hear it and you're like, oh,
you know, I was thinking that, and you learn so
much from it. So were there songs off this album
that you really learned a lot from because again, oh yeah,
that coming from the subconscious?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
No, there is. I mean, Arizona definitely is number one.
There's another song on the album called better Man, which
to me is like the I would say is the
sister song to Arizona, but it's on the flip side.
You know. Arizona is kind of about the journey, and
better Man is kind of where I am today. I
feel like I am a better man for all the
(25:34):
things I've been through and all the things I've experienced
and continue to experience and continue to learn. I'm a sponge.
I've always been a sponge, and I will always absorb
the good and the bad and then figure out how
it applies to me. There's you know, there's other songs
(25:57):
that are kind of from personal experience. Thinking about us
on the EP was inspired by my wife and our
situation we are, you know, we've we're kind of coming
out the other end right now and her and I
are and probably the best place we've ever been since
we met. And we both see a future together and
(26:21):
that brings me so much joy. But I think we
both needed this break for us to grow as individuals,
because you know, like they say, obviously absence makes the
heart grow fonder. Yes, that's true, but also if you
can't love yourself, you can't love another human being. And
for us to do this time apart and to really
(26:43):
learn to love ourselves has really brought us together so
much stronger, all the while co parenting and putting our
children first and taking care of my kids. And you know,
there's songs on the album that are just fun to
just and joyful records. And then you know, there's another
(27:04):
song called Relapse that's on the album that I that
I wrote in the in the perspective of a relationship,
but it's really about the drink. And but I'm using
a relationship as the metaphor, and it's a really really
(27:25):
cool song. The melodies and it's it's just it's just
a really great song. But as this process has been happening,
you know, the conversations that happen in the studio amongst
my writers and myself, that's where the growing has been happening. Obviously,
writing the lyrics out and you know, finishing these songs
(27:47):
has been a great growing process, But it's the conversations
that happen in the rooms with my writers, with my producer.
We're all family, we're friends, but it's these heartfelt conversations
that I'll never forget that I can take with me
forever and I can reflect back on. And something else
(28:09):
I do. When I finished writing a song, I don't
listen to it for about a week. I just write it.
It's done. I let my producer do what he has
to do. I don't let him send me a copy.
I just I don't want to hear it for a week,
so I can hear it with fresh years, and it's
it's it's just, it's it's like a sweet little surprise.
(28:31):
And you know, hearing these songs now that I wrote
three months ago, because we're in the final mixing phase
to get the album done. I'm like, oh, crap, I
forgot about that one. Oh crap, I forgot about that one.
That one's great, Holy shit. And yeah, so every song
on this album, every song, there's not one song that
(28:52):
I feel people are gonna skip over. There's not one.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Well, you know, so the EPs called him name out
since the name of the album as well.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Actually the album is my name is Alexander James.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Okay, Yeah, what I was gonna ask is does it
feel good at this point? I mean, I'm sure it
feels great at this point to be able to do that.
And as you say, AJ was a character, you know,
and again not like you know, a bad character, but
it's just I've talked about this with a lot of people.
You kind of get trapped in a way in your success.
(29:40):
And now it's like you're at a place in your
life where it's like, yes, AJ is cool, and you
love your bandmates and all of that, but you also
can say that the world this is who I am
as well. And again, I mean, so many great musicians
have lived with that and struggled with that and had
a hard time figuring out how to get you, you know,
because of course everybody wants to.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Be who they know you to be exactly. And you know,
it's interesting because, over I say, like the past maybe
five to six years, for whatever reason, fans, especially in
Latin America, Mexico, Canada, a lot of fans just for
(30:20):
whatever reason started calling me Alex. I don't know why
I didn't put it out there. I didn't say anything
about it in like interviews. They just started calling me Alex.
And you know, it took me a minute to respond.
I'm like, oh shit, that's my name, that's right. And
but now, you know, finally being able to embrace Alex
(30:42):
and give him an opportunity to shine is is probably
the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced, because, you know,
getting to show the world who I am as an individual.
You know, could I could I do it under the pseudonym,
(31:02):
you know, aj sure? But then it then it still
takes you immediately back to the group. And again, there's
nothing wrong with that. And I wouldn't even have an
opportunity to do something on my own if it wasn't
for being in this band, I don't truly believe. But
(31:22):
to have this opportunity now of complete and other freedom
to express myself truly as who I am on my
own two feet is the most incredible gratifying thing. And
you know, yes, is there is there hints of Backstreet
(31:43):
Boys on the album, maybe here and there, but as
a whole, I don't think any song really could be
a Backstreet Boy record. I think every song truly is
a great representation of who I am, my personal love
(32:04):
for different genres of music. I mean, we have rock
on this album, we have R and B, we have funk,
we have like almost like a blues jazz like. We
have a little bit of everything that inspires me. And
it's kind of hard to do that in the group sense,
(32:25):
even though we've had songs that are country records, we've
had rock songs like Incomplete, but overall Backstreet is strictly
pop and I struggled with that. Four years ago when
I started writing this record, I wanted to go like
straight urban or straight funk, and was it believable. Yes,
(32:47):
But then after my little trip to Arizona, I realized,
why why go so left field? Why not embrace who
I am. I'm a pop artist. There's nothing wrong with that,
and I can still implement musically the genres that I'm
a fan of, the R and B, the funk, the rock,
(33:09):
the soul, and the minute I put my vocals on it,
I'm gonna make it my own. But it is still
pop music and and and I'm I'm finally able to
lean into that and to be comfortable with that. You know,
I was fighting that at the beginning of this writing
process so hard, and now I'm like, no, you know what,
(33:31):
lean into what you are, into who you are, and
you know, obviously my second record looking down the road,
my second record. Yeah, then maybe once I've established myself,
then we can go straight eighties funk or like, you
know whatever. But to start, no, let's let's let's do
(33:52):
something that's familiar but fresh.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
I imagine as well. Having this other outlet is maybe
actually more fun too. Not that Backstreet wasn't great, but
it's like, now you get to satisfy all sides. So
when you come back to back Street, like when you
do the Sphere, it's like, all right, well, now I
just enjoy this, like because I feel so creatively fulfilled.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Oh absolutely, I mean, I'm you know, it's that age
old saying I'm getting my cake and eating it too.
It's like, this is the best it's the best time
to be alive for me, honestly, Like, yes, it's so
rewarding to be doing the most state of the art
venue in the on the on the planet with my
with my brothers, celebrating our biggest album, selling it out,
(34:38):
you know, taking people down this incredible journey, and it's
so rewarding, and it's so pleasing and it's so much fun,
and I can't wait to get back. Honestly, all of
us are chomping at the bit to get back to Vegas.
But on the other side of the coin to finally
have the freedom and the joy to know that body
(35:00):
of work that I've been working on for four years
is finally here and I get to share with the
world and I and I and I get to have
the same level of joy that I get from being
with my boys on my own, if not more, if
not a little more, you know, And it is it's
(35:22):
the best of both worlds. And I've told my boys,
and I've told the fans, and I've told my team.
You know, people have said, so what if what if
this album Knock on Wood blows up? Like this whole
thing just blows up and you know you're you're getting
offers to do arenas. Will you leave the group? Absolutely not.
(35:42):
There is not a chance in hell I would ever
abandon my boys. I believe I can have both both
worlds coexist. And sure it's a lot of work, but
I love to work and I love what I do,
So it's about balance, you know.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Cool. Well, we'll wrap up in a second because the
zoom is about to end, but I want to ask
you quickly. The name of the podcast is in Service Off,
and it started with the idea of giving back philanthropically,
but I've realized in talking to so many instants, as
an artist, you're always in service off. Because again, I'm
like you talked about Arizona and hopefully that becomes an
anthem for fans. I'm sure you've heard from a zillion people.
(36:25):
How you know they danced at two I want it
all at their wedding, or they had babies to it
or whatever it is. You know, so as an artist,
you're always in service off. So for you, what does
it mean being in service up to the music or
are there any particular charities that are really important to you?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
I mean, I am a huge advocate for the LGBTQ
plus community. I'm also a huge, huge animal lover. You know,
I wish there was more non lethal shelters out there
that if a dog or a cat and get adopted,
that they get put down, you know. And I've been
(37:07):
a huge supporter for the LGBTQ plus community for decades
and as well as anything and everything in the mental
health space. If I can give back by being of service,
and whether it's through my music or it's actually me
tangibly being somewhere sharing my story, That's why I've been
(37:30):
so open in public about my recovery and about my journey.
Is if my story helps one person, then I did
my job. You know. That is you know, if you
look at it as a twelve step program, that is
what the twelfth step of AA is is being of
service and sharing your experience, strength and hope with others
(37:50):
in hope that you can take, you know, help someone
get sober. And with the mental health crisis happening and
no longer being swept under the ruugh it's being talked
about now, I want to be on the forefront of
that any way that I can. And I think Arizona
in particular is a great stepping stone for that. And
(38:14):
I hope that that song becomes an anthem for the
mental health community and becomes an anthem for those that,
like I said, don't feel good enough, and it kind
of empowers them to feel strong and feel confident and
(38:34):
to love themselves, because we need a lot more love
in this world. We really do. You know, the world's
going to shit, going to shit in a handbag. But
as long as we love each other and love our neighbor,
we're we're gonna be just fine.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
That is a beautiful wrap up now that this is
about to end. Is there anything that you want to
add that I did not ask you about.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
No, I just, you know, thank you to everyone that
has been reporting me since day one. I am. I'm
over the moon. I'm elated that the support has been overwhelming.
And I love my fans. I love our fans, and
I want to wish everyone a happy Turkey Day. And
(39:19):
we do have a lot to be thankful for. I
know I do. And true victory is victory over oneself.
I'll leave you with that.
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