Aunt Sal Vulcano: Episode 69 with Joe Gatto and Steve Byrne

The moms are joined by stand up comedian and lifelong  friend, Sal Vulcano. Hear the story of Sal getting stuck in the elevator, catching the business end of wooden spoons, and Joe’s skills when it comes to pratfalls that majorly impresses Mommy Steve.

 

The moms help solve fan submitted questions ranging from how to gain more self confidence to how to reach out to a crush on social media. Wondering how to say no when you’re a ‘yes man’? They’ve got the answer! All this packed into a very special episode of Two Cool Moms!

 

Check out Sal’s first stand up comedy special “Terrified” available now on YouTube. And see him live on his new tour. For all things Sal go to SalVulcanoComedy.com 

See Joe on Tour - www.joegattoofficial.com

See Steve on Tour - https://punchup.live/steve-byrne 

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YouTube: stevebyrnec

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Twitter: @stevebyrnelive

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
There on the bottom were taking money.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Thanks listening to two cool moms. I'm Joe Gatto, always
on fucking point. Jesus Christ, you're here, he's spelling water.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
You're not even doing anything, you guys, you got a
shoutow that.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
Yeah, there's a shot camera. It's all over. I dumped
a pint of water.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Some would say it was an accident and I should
feel bad or embarrassed, but it was. It was calculated
and they were gonna start, and I wasn't ready to start,
and I was just like.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Joining us as spells volcano Sally spells volcanoes and from
Staten Island.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
Thank you for joining us.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
The message. I saw it happen because I said, how
is everything at home?

Speaker 5 (00:48):
Yeah, and you go great, and then you tipped it
over and the minute, the minute, it didn't even go
all the way down.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
It was like this, and you just went.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
That's very indicative of every second of my entire life.

Speaker 4 (01:02):
Really, that's that's a reflection of me. I came in
so frazzled.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
I was on a call, a meeting that didn't end
on time on the drive and so I was double
parked outside this building trying to get them off the phone,
and then we had to park the car.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
And then I walked the wrong way and looked up and.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
I was out like like ninety like I was like
he was at the Spotify.

Speaker 4 (01:24):
This is like one twenty five.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
I was out like literally like ninety and I was
like okay, and I realized that I got out right
in front of it and just kept walking and then
I came up here.

Speaker 4 (01:33):
You don't know about this. I came up here. I
got in the elevator. It's like one of these new
like sci fi.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
You don't have the buttons.

Speaker 4 (01:37):
Yeah Fi, I almost said, is that all right?

Speaker 6 (01:39):
You can say fucking okay.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
I got one of these new new elevators now that
they think they I don't know. Maybe they're efficient too something.
I don't know what happened, just like up down, tell
me the floor, right. I think the most simple way
to do an elevator is what they had. I want
to go to that up and I'll push you one again.
But I pushed seven and then I got in a
first elevator open. Then it went to eleven and there's

(02:03):
no buttons inside.

Speaker 4 (02:03):
The elevator anymore. And the guy got out.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Of eleven and I stayed at eleven and then the
door closed and I stood in the elevator alone for
six minutes and it didn't.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
And I was like, what.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Am I supposed? I thought it was at least bringing
back down. And then I called him from inside yelevator
and I said, I've been in from inside the eleven.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
I got here one hour and you have to leave
it ten minutes in turn because of that ran late.
This is rand late. My next one runs late, and
I have one more to that.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
And I came in, sat down, promptly, dropped seventeen ounces
of water right all the thing.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, so thanks for being here today. I know you
have a meeting to get to a great time.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
Can I get a water though? For real? Thank you
so much. I'm trying to drink more water now, just stop.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Can I get a Straw's a straw? This so out?

Speaker 4 (02:52):
You give me a blessing.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
I was exposed to how you can't.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
Hold gotta be careful with it. Thank you so much.
We could really, we could really do something with this.

Speaker 7 (03:11):
Yeah, I know this is gonna go off these right
away for the joke for the next two episodes.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
So the VIC theater, the nice mixed nice Yeah, how's
this will sound? Sounds great? Sounds great like an eight
year old.

Speaker 4 (03:35):
M M S A R A C S M R.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Sit back in our lives are listening to the sounds
of the two two months podcasts?

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Are you nervous?

Speaker 6 (03:48):
Tell me about your your voyage with comedy? How did
you start?

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Could you imagine? I came and I'm like, what's the
best prank you ever? Paul?

Speaker 4 (04:00):
I'll show you right now.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Please, if you're watching, please.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
Please, If you know someone who knows someone, a friend, someone,
if it's if you know someone in entertainment, if you
know someone that introviews people, if you know someone has
a talk show, if you know someone in this podcast,
if you have a family, mom, or a friend that
asks questions, tell.

Speaker 4 (04:16):
People not to fucking ask me anything about Impractical.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
Jokers ever again, because it's been on for twelve years
and apparently every time I sit down everyone asks the
exact same questions.

Speaker 4 (04:27):
For twelve years. Right, twelve years? Tell me about little skits.
I want to go on to record.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Craziest, craziest mark you ever did?

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Oh camera, I want to go to record, right you
have favorite punishment? I want to go to a record
right now, to answer a question. We are still friends?

Speaker 4 (04:43):
Yes, yeah, that too, like do you still do you
still talk to them? Oh yeah, we get that. You
probably got that million times.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, yeah, how soud.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
Yeah, it's good, I'm good.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Good.

Speaker 4 (04:56):
I noticed a lot of stains on these counches.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Well, a lot of people come around thrown water all
over the place, but they spill many drinks on here.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
I mean there's a lot well chemistry here.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
So that's.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
This looks like, well, the whole thing there was just
there's just furniture around here. We normally have a table
set up. But then we looked at it, yeah, and
we were like, oh, it's gonna look like a little
bit of an interrogation. So we just grabbed literally two
couches that were outside. But ten minutes before you came
in here, you were stuck in an elevator.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
We move couches.

Speaker 4 (05:23):
Oh wait, what about the episode before this?

Speaker 6 (05:25):
No, No, we do a table. We do a table once,
me and him, we do a table.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah, it's a table.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
When you're here, cool.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
Couchre you're well, yeah, we have guests when we have
get this is our guest set up. Oh okay, okay, yeah,
but you're our first guest when as part of the
new iHeart Things.

Speaker 6 (05:36):
Oh wow, yeah, look at this right? Yeah, well depending what.

Speaker 4 (05:40):
By the way, thank you, bud.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yes, we're you. You have podcasts, So, like, what's it
like to work with christ the Stephano.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yes, I well you you.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
You you have not been on yet.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
I've been on both.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
I've been on Hay Babe and I've been on Taste
Buds and tomorrow I need a co host.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
But you're out of town.

Speaker 6 (05:59):
Yeah, we're supposed to we're supposed to do Taste.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
Buds and you weren't there. And then we had to
cancel on DeRosa and he got really upset with us.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
Well, remember that there was a we weren't even know
they closed.

Speaker 5 (06:11):
Down, Remember the president was president closed down the streetsible
to get down.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
We're not getting down there.

Speaker 4 (06:17):
The cars And he was like he was the president
who was the president at the time.

Speaker 6 (06:21):
You know. But you know me, I'm not a canceler
like you know me. I don't cancel. I I keep myself.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
There was no way to do. I'm freaking you know,
but I'm saying, but Joe DeRosa takes a person.

Speaker 6 (06:29):
We haven't spoken since.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
No, No, he's an idiot. I know.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
That's great.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Well, this is two cool moms and here we talk
about our moms and you are probably one of the
closest that was to my mother called them mom as well,
so you you know, with the craziness that was Jerry Gaddo.

Speaker 6 (06:47):
But your mom is equally as fun, Adele.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
We love her.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
She's fun, she's she's equally as fun to laugh.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
I will say she's a source of stories though, right,
Like my mom was a source of stories as well.

Speaker 6 (06:59):
And I think your your mom is definitely giving.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
I got, I got, I got tons of it. Actually,
there's a lot of stuff on my mom and uh
gonna be in a special.

Speaker 6 (07:06):
And especially mam a lot.

Speaker 4 (07:07):
Well, she's involved a lot in of things.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yeah, something will revolve around her and some things that
just she's in them, but she finds a way into
a lot of them. I think I'm like, I'm noticing
as I as I worked on the special, like that
a lot of my stories are like misinformation or take away,
so things that were mishandled from my parents and my
mom that like affected me later in life. Just that

(07:30):
like uh, like my my grandparents, like I live with
them for years and like I, I swear to God,
I live with them for years, and I seriously started
to think that when I got older, I might have
to at some time at that point in my life
face moths as a serious issue. Like like I thought that,
like when I got older, that might be something I

(07:50):
heard I would have to overcome in life like everyone does.

Speaker 6 (07:53):
Right, Yeah, wasn't a big issue.

Speaker 5 (07:55):
Yeah you say that, I can smell my grandfather's cause
it was.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
But what's your mom's frank?

Speaker 4 (08:11):
You know what I used to do to my mom?

Speaker 3 (08:12):
I actually to do you know the old school sinks
that have that like throwing like the eighties with the
spray that you waste to wash the dishes with the hose?
Did you put scotch tape on that? It's like you
can't see it off? And then she turned They when
they turn on the sink that's engaged and it hits
them and that keeps giving and you do that, they
get soaked. It's not like it's not terrible, but it's

(08:35):
more than just something silly. It's it's definitely like annoying
and and like you know how you feel, right and
then and then the best part about it is is
they'll never ever remember to check every time, and you
could just keep doing that and then you can piece.
They get like six or seven in one day. It's
a it's a core man and you get the spoon though,
yeah get it. You get my mom like my mom

(08:56):
threw stuffy.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
Yeah, she threw stuff. It was brushes, spoons.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Was there was there ever a time she really connected though.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
Often Nolan Ryan, it was less time that she didn't
get more time than she didn't give in.

Speaker 6 (09:16):
Yeah, my mom she was, she was good.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
We had the dining room table, though, do you have
defense system? Because we had an oval dining room table
and we'd be able to run around it right, and
she'd be she would run eventually nest.

Speaker 4 (09:25):
Place you got to go because you got to.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
Get space between you and her right and then you
got to get into a position where you could juke
and deep and then you can get around through the kitchen,
down the hall under it really was and basically like
Warrior at the least it was R O T C
or something training. And then I would slide under my bed.

Speaker 4 (09:47):
I had a whole system.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
She couldn't get under the bed, no, but then she
would get a brooms out of there. Like I was
a squatter or something, and I would like grate the
room and I suck it under that and then she
to the next object.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
By the end of the day, I had like a shovel.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
At one point, I had without a doubt three four
five objects under that. Yeah, and sometimes then my sister
sometimes she was coming after both of us and we
both had to slide under there. And then it was
really about It was really about positioning because whoever was
in the back was a.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Bunk bed against the wall.

Speaker 6 (10:18):
It was nice. Yeah, and that makes it beezy area.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
You go to feedl you know.

Speaker 4 (10:22):
Yeah, I will do that.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
I would get right in a bowl in the corner
like a like a roly poly or like a turtle.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
I used my sister as a shield one. So my
mom was beating us with a gravy spoon. She had
the spoon of the gravy. So we had one of
those old school screen doors that was screen up top
and then the tin on the bottom. And Carla and
I had come back from uh. Carla was on the
bowling team. She had a bowling bag her if she
went to hill the academy right so she had a
big book back backpack that had all the textbooks and
a bowling ball on the other hand, and I was

(10:47):
doing that thing like.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
I'm not do ging you like a little brother bullshit.
Calla had enough.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
She full blown bowl in a china shot me, put
her head down, came at me, tackling me through the door.
So when we went on the door, when we fell
on the door, the door stayed closed, but we fell
through the bottom.

Speaker 6 (11:01):
So I'm on the bottom.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
My sister's on top of me with a book bag
and a bowl and.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
W spoon coming at you real right, So she came in,
but I was on the bottom. So my mom's trying
to hit me because you know, it's my fault, and
I greg called by the shoulders and.

Speaker 6 (11:14):
Like a shield.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
Oh yeah, I had many of those.

Speaker 6 (11:16):
Yeah, but you're the older brother, right, so you had
size in your favor.

Speaker 4 (11:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
I mean I remember the day finally that like she
would like, I mean, it's not.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
Like she you know, it's not like she she whooped me.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
She did, but like it's not like it was just
like you know, but I remember the day when she
like when she like whatever.

Speaker 4 (11:31):
She did, like it's not and I was like, yeah, yeah,
I was like here we go the.

Speaker 6 (11:38):
Level of his mushroom, the idea on my mom. I
remember that moment vividly.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
When I grabbed the wooden spoon I pulled out of
her hand, I smacked on the ass and I went
ha ha lost laughing.

Speaker 3 (11:51):
At least you did it, comedian, I did it when
I punched my mother for the first time.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
You had to get past. But you, guys, it was
like built up. It was. My unch was a cumulative punk,
got it.

Speaker 5 (12:02):
My dad, like your dad looks, I always say, he
looks like the police chief, like when you turn your
badge and and like you don't want.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
To piss him off, right, But he looks and he
looks like uh like like like like military.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
He looks like a imposing guy. He was.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
He was always a fit guy. I always went to
the gym my whole life. Yeah, I'm still in great
shape now in his late seventies.

Speaker 5 (12:25):
But like when I saw your dad, like it reminded
me of my Like, I'm like, I'm still scared of
my dad.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, I'm still like dad too.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
You like, you know, kind of.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
Like him to you talk about a detective, your dad
looks more like the detective than my.

Speaker 5 (12:42):
He's got like an Irish glint though in his eye
where there's like a little sparkle where you're like, oh,
he's cool but.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
Like a cat. Yeah, he's losing a sight. I've hung
out with him recently a lot. Yeah, Like I've had
three or four occasions in the last few months that
I've seen him. Yeah, when we were when we were
in Pittsburgh doing the we were in pitt and.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Then uh Nashville.

Speaker 5 (13:05):
But like when I see, like I shook your dad's hand,
I'm like, oh God, Like he's still he's still got it.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Like I was like, wow, he could.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
Like he goes take a look to the gym every day.
His garage the gym now, but he goes in there.
He's got those the guy that you punch. It's just
like you know, he's like I woke in there and
I like I'm like, hey, guys, I'll be right. You
know that guy is you know that guy is like
old flesh colored.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yeah, you know in the gym is it half body?

Speaker 4 (13:33):
It's like it's a half body.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Your dad's hand chicks strong your like when you shake
hands with your dad, Like.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
It's not when I remember it was like in Vegas
when I met him first. My dad's had chicks very bony.

Speaker 4 (13:44):
Yeah, oh, because he's dead.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
My dad's dead.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
I wish my dad could be punching something. He's punching,
and he's punching to get out of the coffin. He's
worse than you.

Speaker 4 (14:00):
He's still getting used it.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
You had using it.

Speaker 4 (14:02):
No, I'm not used to it. I don't.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Let's call you a life father. See how that doing so?

Speaker 4 (14:11):
I did.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
I did get to spend a lot of time with
your mom. I mean, I'm sorry you got to spend
a lot of time with my mom. Because one of
my favorite stories is when in my house you used
to live in my basement basically used to have sleepovers with
me in our late twenties early thirties. We'd be sleeping
over and playing playing Nintendo, and we would have like breakfast.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
My advice to anyone out there is whatever you thought
your lifetrack was going to be.

Speaker 4 (14:34):
On, put slided ten years, slater ten years. My mom
and dad had.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
Me at twenty six and just just turning thirty, and
I thought thirty was a little late twenties. But nowadays
it's like, you know, but I think, just push everything
ten years so that you could play your thirties like
you used to play your.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
Twenties and the just extend that.

Speaker 6 (14:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
And then uh, because then you get money too. You
have a little money in your pocket, you.

Speaker 4 (14:55):
Save up some money.

Speaker 3 (14:56):
Yeah, and also like, I mean, what's the best part
of our lives when we were that part.

Speaker 4 (15:00):
Yeah, I'm not to take away anything from my family
or anything like that, but.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, you know, but like that that's a lot of
cool memory.

Speaker 4 (15:06):
Yeah, but then I did.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
Then I just kept going though and that I didn't
really get serious until like six months ago.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
Five Like, no joke.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
I I mean I've had like six male adult sleepovers
in the last years.

Speaker 4 (15:21):
But they're fun.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
You shouldn't not get I mean, have you ever seen
I Think you should leave Uhes comedy show on Netflix
with Tim Robbins, Tim Robinson, he has this one bit
in season two you don't thin guy.

Speaker 4 (15:31):
Paul Walter Houser amazing actor. He's in everything. He's in Blackbird,
he played the serial killer. Yeah, but he's a really
funny actor too.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
He's like the first time I saw oh yeah, yeah,
I amazing.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
And he did Richard Jewel and things like that. He's
really good. Big fan if you're watching the.

Speaker 5 (15:48):
Chan but jim O Yang he started for a little bit,
no way, and then and then he and then he
got an audition.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
He's like an actor now, but he was like doing
He won.

Speaker 4 (15:58):
He won Best Actor.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
Unbelievable the Emmys for the for Blackbird, which, by the way,
cold yeah you did watching. I don't know when the
awards are, but if this guy, I've never seen a
performance like this in my life, at least a nomination
just so happened. I didn't know that the awards were
that weekend, and I just saw he won the Emmy
for Best Actor, and I was like, but anyway, he
does his sketch and uh, he's uh, I.

Speaker 4 (16:20):
Think you should leave. We just talked about about sleep.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
Yeah, oh yeah, and they're playing polker. Do you see
that one where he's like they're they're like old drink
of beers and playing poker and they're like, oh, my wife,
like ribbing on their wives or whatever. And then he
says like, ah, he doesn't know what it's saying. He's like,
you guys would be having some beers too if you
had my wife, because he did know how to insult her.
And they all laugh and then he just drade Adrians
about how wonderful she is, and it goes into this

(16:44):
whole thing about how he got cast in a regional
play and he played a henchman and he only had
a few lines and he kept stealing his lines. The
guy Jimmy Taco, like, I'm not gonna say my lines
is fast at Jimmy Taco.

Speaker 4 (16:56):
And she's like, don't worry about Jimmy Taco.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
And then he comes to and he goes, no, no,
I don't know why I did that.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
Guy nice and we're just kidding.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
He's like, no, I shouldn't have done it, and he goes,
I gotta go, and they go whatever his name is.

Speaker 4 (17:09):
Like, Bob, you always leave.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Stay.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
You said you was staying the night, and they whipped
to the left and there's like six beds made, and
then he.

Speaker 4 (17:19):
Went back and said, just stay, it's my birthday. One
of them goes and he goes, I got it.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
I don't.

Speaker 6 (17:25):
I just acted.

Speaker 3 (17:26):
I thought it's funny that watch it, but it's I
love that guy I got then just Tim Robinson, It's
like the show is great.

Speaker 4 (17:32):
The funniest person I think quotes it constantly.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
I speak in it. It's like Seinfeld for me now.
I literally I've seen every episode like thirty times. Would
I be terrible if I asked for a water that
I won't spill it? I just I just drink a
I've been trying to drink a lot of water.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
Was it was his deal? He was on SNL and
then did he leave?

Speaker 6 (17:51):
He thinks you should leaves.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
He was a writer and then he was a cast member.
And I just don't think they understood how to use him.

Speaker 6 (17:59):
Yeah, sound so glad you came.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
You really understand the whole podcast world.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
So your mom, we have so many stories man with
your mom. Oh, for sure your mom is crazy.

Speaker 4 (18:13):
I mean I don't.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
I mean, I'm sure you've told every story about your mom.
But we told a bunch just like a one of
a kind, really really funny.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
But she she like genuinely like liked when you would
be around to which is fun.

Speaker 4 (18:22):
Like I called her every Mother's Day. I slept over
there all day.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
She would always be like that too.

Speaker 6 (18:26):
She'd be like I remember a couple of Mother's Day
like you like beat me to call on her.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Really She's like, you know, I talked to South like Mom,
it's nine am you got off like.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
A bought You probably called her on the way home.
I saw first, Yeah, I know it's not my house.
She uh yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:42):
She would always like be excited at me.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Twenty four flowers.

Speaker 4 (18:47):
Yeah, you like, she'd call him.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
I'm in Atlantic City, I'm hitting big gets out. Come
down down, the rooms.

Speaker 4 (18:54):
Are waiting for you. Really, we just drive down there.
I didn't gamble, end of a gambled like a dollar
in my left.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
And then she would just gam and then we just
go eat like straight up seafood towers out.

Speaker 4 (19:03):
The crabs, just fresh crabs per person. Yeah, when you're
like this is three to four, you.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Know, and then like it's a two, it's a fourteer towers.
If he's three to four people, you know, it's like whatever.
And she's just like we'll have one for everybody. And
then it was they was like smoking with dry ice
and they would just dring out like ten seafood towers.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
She used to tell me she used to she ran
that city. She used to be like, I'm like, mom,
I'm going down with the guys. We would go even
without her, so like we're going down and she's like,
all right, you're gonna go to the Oaks. Okay, that
was the steakhouse. Steakhouse in uh in the Hilton, that's
where she rocked.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
She goes, you're gonna go to the Oaks.

Speaker 6 (19:34):
You're gonna see Walter. Okay.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
Walton knows you're coming. He Woldon knows you're coming. As
we'd walk in and be like, Hi, I'm Jerry, go yeah,
I know you are. Come on to be a table
in the back set up already, everything there right, and.

Speaker 6 (19:45):
Then they would just come. We wouldn't even order, they
would just bring everything out to us, and then we
were like, oh, we have to pay.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
It's like, don't worry about it, you know, wow, go
on my mom's I realized quickly after my mother passed
away that she owed hundreds of thousands of collars.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
He's like, they're like ringing shoe. Hey, this is uh
Walter from the this is Walter from the Oaks. I'm
in the accounting department. Your mother is into us for
seven hundred and three seafood towns.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
We make the check out to Walter the Oaks. Yeah.
But like we used to go.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
Down, the rooms would be there and everything, and then
there'd be times where we would go down. She would
already be in bed when we had gotten there, because
it'd be a while from stettan On Wou'd either be
going out and we'd be like a last minute thing
like let's go down, and we'd wake up and we
would I would be like, oh, we're going into our
room at like twelve o'clock, one o'clock, like we're getting there,
you know, getting changed to go out whatever, and there's
my mom at the dollar pokem machines.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
Hey babe, like playing the just still love doing it.

Speaker 6 (20:36):
She was crazy, all right.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
The first time I ever got a professional massage was
on one of those trips I guess, like I just
I was like, I never got one before.

Speaker 4 (20:45):
I always thought it was weird.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
And we were at a nice hotel or whatever, and
there was like whatever this it's called the Red Door.

Speaker 4 (20:51):
I don't know what red door spa whatever that is,
right fancy.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
So I was like, I'm gonna go I'm gonna go
for and I was with my my my girlfriend still
my lady at the time, and uh we uh I
got a couples and and it was astronomically, it was astronomical.
It was like six hundred dollars for a couple of massage,
you know, for like an hour or whatever. But I
was like, I've never done this. I'm not paying for anything.
I'll you know, I've never done I've never done assage,

(21:17):
let alone of couples.

Speaker 4 (21:18):
And it was terrible.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
I got a Swedish. I didn't know much about it.
I got a Swedish. Do you know what Swedish massage is?

Speaker 1 (21:25):
That where they like really dig in.

Speaker 4 (21:27):
That called a really digging massage.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
That's a tissue like Swedish is like like the relaxation.
Apparently Swedes replicate air touching. They just went like this
look and I was like, oh, this is like the precursor.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
It's like petting.

Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yeah, it is. It's like it's like swirling on you.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
What's the one? What's the what's the boss?

Speaker 4 (21:48):
Do you want to be? You want to be a missus?
Sweets monsus? You are one?

Speaker 1 (21:53):
Could you do you have hands?

Speaker 4 (21:54):
Work?

Speaker 1 (21:54):
And did you do this?

Speaker 3 (21:55):
I kept laying there like all right, it's gonna kick
in soon, like it's been a while, and then kick
in like they what what Swedish means is they probably
touch you lightly for one hour and then strong for
an hour and then she was like, it's it's like
the hands she used to tap me. I couldn't distinguish
it from it's over to that's what she was doing
the whole time anyway, And I got I got so
pissed off because I doubled on that I paid double Yeah,

(22:17):
and I was like, I was turned off her massage.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
Did your lady enjoy yourself?

Speaker 4 (22:21):
No? I think she understood what I meant.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
She said, yeah, we shouldn't have got Swedish.

Speaker 4 (22:25):
I was off massage just for quite some time.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
That then we brought you back hard.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Well then, well then then I learned about the massage
pollos here in the city that are way more affordable
with people that are definitely like experts like that practice
practice like ancient techniques.

Speaker 4 (22:43):
Now I get like a no joke.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
I get like a one hour massage for maybe thirty dollars.
And the woman literally, I mean, I mean she's she
she might have like her her ancestry might have wroten
like the manual to.

Speaker 4 (22:59):
Like some of these techniques, the Chinese massages.

Speaker 3 (23:01):
The Chinese massage. Yeah, and they usually old joyman and
then you think they're going to be fragile. Friend, they
got a lifetime of like a massage strengthened his fingers.

Speaker 4 (23:09):
I remember her first.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Times and had a woman jumped on a woman jumped
on the table, jumped on the right up and they
got the poll on jump right up there and she
does this whole little thing.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
I remember best.

Speaker 4 (23:19):
That's a tie.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
It was with Bessie.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
We're living on Wall Street with Murray. Murray tells me
about Bessie wakes up, she has like a really bad kink.
She's like, oh my, I got this thing going on.
She's like I need some mars, Like, oh, go down
to the you know, Murray knows all the spas downtown,
go to the spots on you know whatever.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
I already knows the bath house.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah right, he goes go down spot. So I went
past that spot and.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
I went to Murray goes from places and I'm not
even joking around. Murray y into liquids, shouldn't. And then
he gets out and he's got like rings.

Speaker 8 (23:44):
Did you just say Murray started covid y almost Murray eighteen.
So he goes go to this place.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
So we're going there and they just have like bath
curtains between the two us. Right, So I'm getting one
here Bessie's next door, and I hear Bessie start going
am I swear she's not going, oh my neck, but
she's super quiet, like Bessie doesn't want to start those
ship right. So he's like okay, and then she's going okay,
thank you, okay, thank you.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
And then she goes.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Joe because she knows I'll tell the woman to stop.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
And I go oh.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
I was like, hold on, he uses you like I
use exactly right in the fucking left.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
And she's like this has gotta stop. So I'm like,
I'm like she's done. And I'm like no, no, no,
I'm like she's done. Stop it like I like, and
I just have a towel on and I'm like she's done.
Stop and I'm like tony soprano. And then she's like
oh and then they she's like you'll have to pay,
you have to pay. I'm like i'll pay.

Speaker 6 (24:41):
I'm just you're hurting her. That's what she's done.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
So he goes and I was like, all right, I'm
just going to finish up, and I went back into
Bestie just sat in the weight room for thirty minutes
as they finished my massage, Like old Jack how many.

Speaker 4 (24:53):
Times have I been like, Joe, can you take care
of this movie? Your whole life whole I won't say,
I'll just look. I don't even tell them.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
He knows what I want to say, and I look
at him like this, and then he turns and he
says it for me, and I swear to you that's
not hyperbole, and it's in. It's like ninety percent of
the time, I'm just like he's with me. I know,
I don't really have to really get like have any friction.
I like, I genuinely. I generally after.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
The time when we split from working together, I generally
went through a time where I was.

Speaker 6 (25:21):
Like, I want to be I hope somebody's doing that.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
No one is, no one, nobody's the sounds like he's
like his hotel room to sit.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
You know, he would rather like a bigger sweet corner.

Speaker 6 (25:33):
He's like he needs.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
More bread whatever, whatever. It is, just I just around.

Speaker 4 (25:36):
He just gets to look at said I wanted a
corner like this, almost like smoke.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
He just made me sound like a little bit like.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
Oh no, I'll get you a corner.

Speaker 6 (25:43):
I just get it.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
Yeah, Like like no, I wouldn't even I'll open the door,
and I'll open it and he'll be like walking down
me with like walking by with his suitcase, going his
room and he look at it. He goes, this is
no kid mine and y'all just he'll just walking down
on the phone be like, are you gonna need a corner?

Speaker 4 (25:55):
Have someone come up please? Yeah, just like to do it.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
But it was just you can get it kind of
every store in the world, right, Oh, I've seen it
multiple apparently you just walk in and tell them. He
just walks in. He says, what's the discount today?

Speaker 4 (26:08):
Yeah, what do you mean? Well, family, friends, what's the discount?
Who is a man? J'all talk to him and he
took me magic. What are you giving us today?

Speaker 1 (26:14):
What's the action?

Speaker 4 (26:15):
What's the action?

Speaker 3 (26:16):
We're going to shop today? I'll give you ten tenth
not good? Yeah, did twenty, will do twenty. I will
knock your day. Will do twenty twenty percent of everything
to me and my friends. The guy goes, all right,
I till every time.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
I told the story about the time you refunded your stuff,
because I went after you and checked out and he
gave us twenty percent off.

Speaker 4 (26:30):
In Nashville, I.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
Worked it out. You had already pulled everything.

Speaker 6 (26:34):
You walked out. You win.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Somebody walked out.

Speaker 4 (26:35):
You had a bags full of stuff.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
I'm like, god, I gave me twenty off.

Speaker 4 (26:38):
He goes. He goes, Oh, they didn't give me anything else.

Speaker 6 (26:40):
I said, return it. I said, come on, I said,
we'll go inside.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Back in.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
We went back and I said, my my friend, he
didn't get the discount that you gave the rest of us.
They said, can we take care of that the store? Yeah,
and they were like that stes not there anymore. I
had a business. I wonder why it was. It was
too cool and gentlemen.

Speaker 6 (26:54):
What was the name?

Speaker 4 (26:54):
It was something like your It was like it was
a very famous store next.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
To FOURT Ladies or something, this cross.

Speaker 4 (27:00):
Like the Thompson.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
We were looking for it for a while and I
said this, and then you found it. It was closed.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
It was called two Uncle Thom's two Francs, two francs saloons,
so something like that.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
That too in it.

Speaker 6 (27:11):
But yeah, that you made the mistake of going after me.
But it's funny.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
But my dynamic now with Steve is very funny because
Steve is like me and you in like two thousand
and eight, like he's just he's learning seeing all these
things that you've seen and know of me, and it's
like seeing a fresh eye is like, oh, like I
take my shirt off to change in a in a store.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
I don't use a dressing room.

Speaker 6 (27:30):
He's like, oh who, and he like gets embarrassed, like
it's funny to see.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
My favorite is he's he's by.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
The way, he did that for our whole lives. But
then he continued it when he'd gotten the bubble.

Speaker 5 (27:42):
But this waiter comes over. We had this fantastic meal,
take care of the dessert. Great guys, thank you so
much for coming in. Joe was such a pleasure. And
he hands them the check. Joe takes so he hands
him check. I'll be the waiter, sir, thank you so much.
It's an honor waiting for you.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Thank you so much for the waiter, just like there
and then put the check down. He kissed his hand. Yeah,
and I just like it felt like somebody either like predator.
They just ripped the spine out. I just went like that.

Speaker 5 (28:15):
Crying because it was like you kissed his hand. And
then it was his reaction too, because he was just
so turned away. He's like, man, I get Joe get
it and then just changed yeah, stirred.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Away in the Yeah, yeah, it's it's fun.

Speaker 6 (28:30):
I like it's a good time.

Speaker 5 (28:32):
The one businessman though, I'll never forget the suitcase. Joe's
going through the thing, always hitting the signs whatever. But
there was one suitcase Joe completely fell, not only like fell,
tripped over, grabbed it on the way down with him,
rolled with it and like pushed it. And then he's
sitting there he goes, oh, and there's this businessman and

(28:54):
the guy had fucking money. The guy had money and
he's just standing there his hands still out like he
had a suitcase.

Speaker 4 (29:01):
I just watching this suitcases just rolling down.

Speaker 3 (29:06):
Airport in an airport, and he was like there was
another civilian suitcase that you bumped into and like knocked
over and pushed tripped and then like pushed it the
foot tripped and.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Rolled and like pushed it.

Speaker 5 (29:15):
And the guy is now like ten yards away from
a suitcase, and the first thing is what the fuck?

Speaker 4 (29:21):
And then he looks he's like, is that your ghetto?

Speaker 5 (29:23):
Like it was a weird at the ground laughing because
you see it all.

Speaker 3 (29:27):
Used to fall coming into class all the time time
and wipe out like as many desks as possible.

Speaker 6 (29:34):
You know, I've got a I got a body made
for comedy.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yeah, we had different like ways of like that was,
but me, I would be different. I like I would
be the guy at school that like literally at lunch,
opened my bag, pulled out an actual like you know,
two sliced toaster, pulled out my eggo waffles in the
box frozen still with a butter utensils, and I set
it all up and just make waffles right at the thing.

Speaker 4 (29:56):
Like it's pretty genius in high school?

Speaker 6 (29:59):
Why not in hiht cool?

Speaker 2 (30:00):
I I still say that salad is one of the
reasons I got in the comedy because I used to
used it lunch together in junior year high school.

Speaker 4 (30:06):
Remember I used to attack and.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
I used to make you laugh so hard.

Speaker 4 (30:10):
Because you used to fly out. Remember used to also.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Fec Superman behind the door. So there was a door
that only showed a window was like a half window.
I used to pretend to be Supman behind it, just
so stupid. I would just go like half my body
and he would fucking.

Speaker 4 (30:22):
Lose it looks like he's flying.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
So then there was another guy.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
I went to school at s and believe it. And
there's this good friend of us, Salad to Landy and
who I basically I terrorized because sal would make me
he's miss best friend.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah he is.

Speaker 3 (30:38):
He we were all together in high school, but he
moved on to UH to work on UH be a
film teacher and everything that he lives in Vancouver. He
was like my next thirdame one of my best friends.
Yeah yeah, I miss. I don't know if he has
the same number yet.

Speaker 6 (30:49):
You should call him after this on your way the
next podcast, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
Uh So so he used to be like, oh you know, Uh,
I used to like pretend I would like turn into
this douger that Salent like Joe Leanland and other like,
oh look out.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
He's gonna get you. And that's how like get him.

Speaker 4 (31:04):
I would just attack him as a dog.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
He would think, put it on the floor.

Speaker 4 (31:09):
Like and literally he was trying at it. He's pulling
on his pants and he would try to walk away
from it.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
I would be on the floor his trousers and my teeth,
and he used to think it was a start. He
would fall down laugh then like that's just the way
it was, and he and then we started he was
doing improv comedy in Farrell and he said, he's like,
you're funny man, you should come up.

Speaker 5 (31:27):
You were the first one to kind of get into
comedy in like a real way, I.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
Don't know, like with classes or like uh joint after school.

Speaker 4 (31:34):
I did after school, I went to some acting classes
and I did.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
You would definitely do and you're definitely do an improv
at Farrell before me though, because you made me come
to them.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, I guess so yeah,
I don't know he was doing.

Speaker 4 (31:47):
So they had like a club and we did it.

Speaker 6 (31:48):
But you and Murder in the drama. You didn't do
the place though they Murder did the place. We didn't.
But he just did the comedy and he pulled me
into the the comedy thing. So I mean, good thing.
He laughed at me, buddy, because here I am right.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, two couches here, two cool.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
Moms, three great friends, lots of spelled commitment everywhere.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
Unbelievable.

Speaker 6 (32:09):
All right, let's go, let's help, let's help some people out.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
So South.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
This is the part of the show where we take
submissions from fans. It could be any sort of delemit
that people we solve people's problems.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Okay, I love that we try. Knows I asked for
advice all the time, so.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
I don't even know how to save these names. Okay,
this one's oddie ad O D I don't.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
Know ode o T T I James.

Speaker 5 (32:37):
James writes, alright, he writes, what's up? My mother's from
another brother? What's the best way to slide you into girls?
D MS best regards? Oh, his name's here, otter.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
Sorry you haven't You haven't learned your lesson yet. You
always start with I don't know this guy's name. People
always sawing.

Speaker 4 (32:56):
The things I know named never a large.

Speaker 9 (32:58):
Animal within river are river and they love to see
otters otter, the rivers otters. They're not water the ocean,
aren't the otters like out there with the polar bears
nos a at the zoo the zoo.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
And when they a river an otter is a river?
I thought, I think the river.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
I think it's makes sense, he says, what is that?

Speaker 4 (33:24):
A seal between a seal, a sea otter?

Speaker 3 (33:28):
Waris a walrus a dentist and no and uh and
uh a manate like literal, and a sea lion, sea lion,
A lot of things sea lion is a bigger seal, right,
I don't feel it's if you go size order, it's
seal sea.

Speaker 6 (33:41):
Lion wallas Waas is the big mother.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
But Walris is a descendant, is related to the seal.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
They just have a different dentists. Okay, So then what
about a manatee is more like a whale.

Speaker 6 (33:52):
It's it's in the woods like Matthew doesn't he doesn't.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
It's called two G E D S from stat that's
a that's not a man.

Speaker 4 (34:01):
Humans get on a train leaving from Chicago.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
They get there a six thirty I gotta pass, They
get their six thirty.

Speaker 10 (34:07):
Otters live all over the place, really, yeah, their marine
habitats are really all over really.

Speaker 4 (34:12):
They live in uh, they live.

Speaker 10 (34:14):
In streams, rivers, lakes, ponds, marshes, fresh water and marine habits.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
Where you're reading that from that's bullshit.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
There's no animal that lives in a stream streaming on
it and like that's too much you just caught. They
live in every single piece of liquid.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
There was an on this table.

Speaker 4 (34:31):
They wonder isn't a huge son of a bit?

Speaker 1 (34:35):
They like they're small and beavers.

Speaker 4 (34:37):
They like those cute things.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
From like icey I never saw ice age.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
But isn't like an ice age like the movie.

Speaker 6 (34:43):
I say, yeah, the movie ice age has to do
about show me an show me please.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yes, you get looks like a baby seal. Or it's
got hair.

Speaker 4 (34:51):
It's like a baby se hair.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
He's got hair. Otter has hair like whiskery.

Speaker 4 (34:55):
Yeah, whiskers definitely has hair.

Speaker 1 (34:57):
No, it's wet, it's wet. It's like a beaver.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yeah, see, it's got hairl it's like a beaver conage.

Speaker 6 (35:02):
You bring it in.

Speaker 4 (35:03):
Oh, that's an hotter.

Speaker 6 (35:05):
That's a beaver. It's like ant.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
But there's no beaver. That's not See, they don't live.

Speaker 10 (35:11):
Otters live on the Alaskan coast. I'm really digging on
the Alaskan coast.

Speaker 4 (35:15):
Alas associated them with ice.

Speaker 10 (35:18):
Ninety percent of them live on the Alaskan coast.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
That's a lot of otters up there.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
But all right, an otter and a seal getting into
an altercation of the it's a seal of sea lion.
No sea lions just step up and and Warris is
a step from the sea lion. Once again, what is
the manate is like a whale. They live in the water,
not a perch.

Speaker 6 (35:38):
Up.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
The manate is like a cis gender of all those.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Yeah, it's like a fluids just like it, just like floats.

Speaker 10 (35:51):
It's a it's it's pretty much like a large Florida otter.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
Amanity.

Speaker 10 (35:57):
But they do perch because they get hit by a
lot of boats on Florida? Do they they live in
rivers too?

Speaker 6 (36:03):
In the stream?

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Bullshit?

Speaker 4 (36:05):
Manate is gargantuan.

Speaker 10 (36:06):
Their massive what river down in Okachobe.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
Okay receipts? Chobe River has a lot of manates.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
So what was Otter's question?

Speaker 5 (36:18):
So?

Speaker 4 (36:18):
Now what happened with this guy? Manatee has a question?

Speaker 1 (36:21):
Question man asks how do I slide?

Speaker 4 (36:24):
Is asking what is a manatee?

Speaker 1 (36:27):
How do you slide into a girl?

Speaker 4 (36:28):
DM?

Speaker 3 (36:28):
Meaning all right, I'm assuming you don't mean like you
just well, first of all, you have to just write
them a DM.

Speaker 4 (36:35):
That's how that's really how you do it. That's pretty
much it.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
Yeah, just happn't like us your keyboard and then it's
send to going. She's not going to get the DM.

Speaker 6 (36:41):
She's not gonna get it.

Speaker 3 (36:42):
You gotta click message. You got to go to her page.
You gotta find message. You click message and you type
whatever you want and then there's a send button.

Speaker 4 (36:50):
You hit send it'll it might tell you it's sent.
Then you see it there. Now you slip, yes, your slip,
slip slide.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
And I would say, too, a DM is anyone? I mean,
I've never slid into a DM. I'm assuming. He means, like,
how do I approach someone virtually that I've never met?

Speaker 4 (37:06):
But I think I'm interested?

Speaker 1 (37:07):
But that's what we do here. How do we help them?

Speaker 4 (37:10):
Didn't take like an English language CLIs right? So hot?

Speaker 2 (37:13):
Or if you want to approach I mean, you never
hit any of the shots you don't take, so you know,
Steve says this all the time.

Speaker 6 (37:17):
So Steve, yeah, Steve gre He says, you never take
any of this, You never nail any of.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
The shots that you have a shot out of the tank.
And he says that he lives and dies by those.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
Words I do on the football field.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
He takes one of the shots you don't take. That's right,
That's that's exactly it.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
No, I would say, maybe, uh, just politely polite and maybe.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
I try politely. Humor always helps me.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
I find some common ground. I think, are you interested
in that? Like, for example, if you like our tits,
say like, hey, like your tits? That's it?

Speaker 3 (37:46):
Politely, Yes, politely and honestly, I think you know, Len's
see what happened?

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Yeah, I think it's mostly I think mostly it's about, uh,
you have to stand out right because you know, probably
the first guy thought about slimon the DM, right, especially
if somebody you find it attractive, so you might want
to stand out a little bit.

Speaker 6 (38:00):
I always find humor house.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
The connotation of sliding into a DT a DM because
somebody dtright. Sliding has this kind of effect that it
is might be a little bit like kind of slimy, sliky,
kind of snuck right in there, Like it doesn't feel
like it's on the up and up right away. Like
if you would have said, how do I d M

(38:30):
someone I don't know, yes, and I would have said, ah,
all right. But like when you it feels like you
have certain intentions when you want when you want to slide,
I feel like that it's a sexual intention.

Speaker 6 (38:41):
And you know, a digital pickup line is really what
a slow.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
You still want to be a gentleman.

Speaker 5 (38:45):
I think it's like you want to you want to
make her feel like she's getting so out of too it,
so it's like, Hey, could I take you out to dinner,
you know, cheeseburger and let me see like your tits?

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Because you showed everybody. I'd like to just feel So
how about dinner for sincerely otter? Cool question mark otter? Also,
what's a manatee? All right? I think we saw that
one that was great?

Speaker 3 (39:13):
Well, yeah, I don't know how to I need more information,
like who is the person?

Speaker 1 (39:18):
How do you think?

Speaker 2 (39:20):
I really think you're thinking right though, I think it's
somebody's interested in let me mess your question?

Speaker 4 (39:23):
Am I giving this person real advice? You do?

Speaker 6 (39:26):
You're doing a little bit of mix?

Speaker 1 (39:27):
Okay, why what would you have for real advice?

Speaker 3 (39:29):
I'd be interested to you, but I don't know if
it's just like I'm supposed to be like, no, you're
you're funny because.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
You want to seem cool.

Speaker 5 (39:36):
You have like a sentence yes if you're shredded and
you look like an abercriming model and pictures be.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
Like what's up? You up? Cool? Question?

Speaker 3 (39:46):
Like you just do I need to see a picture
of honist let him know what he should write.

Speaker 4 (39:49):
Yeah, it's one.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
Hundred reflectively what you look like. But I think you
got to be more creative when you're like average.

Speaker 6 (39:57):
I know, I've had to work on my whole life.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
So also the girl, I don't even slug slug into DMS.
How do I roll up into someone's DM?

Speaker 1 (40:12):
What would you what would you write if you saw
a cute girl for d MS?

Speaker 4 (40:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (40:17):
No, I go deep into the feed.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
I take a look, so I get to know like
everything about her, Like I stalk it and I find
something that I can do, probably about seven or eight
pictures down, So it's not something right one, I know,
it's like, hey, how did you like Montana? She's like
I went there in twenty twelve, and I'm like, I know,
like I said, it feels.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
Like you're in that's it.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
Yeah, no, I get I get slid in.

Speaker 4 (40:40):
Did I see you at DeVry online? That's around?

Speaker 6 (40:46):
No, they're dead right, Really, the University of Phoenix is right?
Is this university?

Speaker 4 (40:50):
If you haven't mind? Do you remember?

Speaker 3 (40:52):
And I don't know if this was regional and I
don't know if you saw it, but when we were younger,
there was.

Speaker 4 (40:56):
This Apexe Tech with Mustang apex Tech.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
It was it was a trade school about mechanics, car mechanics,
and it was the guy who owns the spokesperson, whoever
it was. He was the same guy they did like
local commercials for like twenty years, and it was two taglines.
He used to tell her what and he goes, and
when you're done, the tools of yours to keep. And
at the end he would always laugh and go, now
I can't call you, You've.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
Got to call us.

Speaker 4 (41:23):
And that's I mean, it was twenty years of that guy.
Everyone knew him. That was that was. Is that school
still out? My apex tech? I would love to get
a T shirt apex tex shirts. Yeah you don't know
him though, right.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
No, it's definitely Google for you.

Speaker 4 (41:41):
When I at your earliest convenience, we'll look you in
whatever you get.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
How about this? It does exist, It still does.

Speaker 4 (41:49):
He's dead, it doesn't.

Speaker 10 (41:51):
It's in Queens and it gets two out of five stars.

Speaker 4 (41:56):
You get to keep the tools?

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Still is the question?

Speaker 4 (41:58):
Now they stopped keeping?

Speaker 10 (41:59):
Still gotta call them?

Speaker 4 (42:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (42:04):
Okay, all right, Oh you started something?

Speaker 1 (42:06):
Well, oh how's this for a d M forder? Okay,
just you tell me.

Speaker 5 (42:12):
Hey, I'm very well versed in uh the stalking laws,
and I built up a tolerance to mace interested.

Speaker 4 (42:23):
I think it works. I like that he's up front.

Speaker 6 (42:25):
Yeah, cards on the table, that could be GOODU.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Yeah, sincerely I think yeah, sincerely. Okay that bombed. Sitting
here thinking of like, Okay.

Speaker 6 (42:36):
What could be a good joke? Okay, try again, you'll
be okay.

Speaker 5 (42:40):
I guess I'll do it tonight in front of a
Audience'll be the same amount.

Speaker 6 (42:45):
Of people it's coming us from.

Speaker 5 (42:48):
Ari.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
I'd love to say his last name, but we don't
say last But it's such a such a cool name. Yeah,
all right, Powers, that's a great that's great.

Speaker 4 (42:58):
That's that person works in Hollywood?

Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yes, question?

Speaker 4 (43:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Is it bad? If I think decreasing my weight will
increase my chance of a love life?

Speaker 6 (43:08):
Is it bad?

Speaker 1 (43:09):
He's talking about self there's a whole industry built on it.

Speaker 10 (43:11):
No.

Speaker 4 (43:12):
Yeah, I just think that.

Speaker 3 (43:13):
I mean why, I mean, it's about self confidence, right,
So if you think you're gonna feel better, Ari Powers,
when you lose some weight and you have more confidence,
then that might increase your interactions with people of uh,
you're attracted to.

Speaker 4 (43:28):
Yeah, that's a stupid question, Ari Powers. I never what
are these what are these these softball questions we're getting
over here? This is what people do if I lose weight,
will I feel no? Who are these people?

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Who are these people?

Speaker 5 (43:42):
Know?

Speaker 4 (43:42):
Where are these people? These people come from?

Speaker 6 (43:43):
They come from they come from either Instagram okay, or
they submit.

Speaker 3 (43:47):
Well, I don't mean to mock. I mean it's I'm
just it's silly. But I think it's like obvious. But
then again, let's get into.

Speaker 6 (43:52):
It because some people I'm now, now, you don't want to.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
Attach your self worst to your weight, but obviously I
think inherently if you lost weight and felt better and healthier,
you'll feel more confident and that will manifest itself probably
in that way.

Speaker 6 (44:08):
I've lost weight in my life, and as you have
as well.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
I knew as well, but I never lost weight to
try to find a mate like it always was, just
for other reasons.

Speaker 6 (44:17):
I don't know. Have you ever been in a situation
where like, oh, is he saying that?

Speaker 1 (44:21):
Is it bad?

Speaker 4 (44:21):
If I if I'm losing weight just because I wouldn't
lose weight?

Speaker 2 (44:25):
That's how I interpreted it. So should I should I?
Should that be his motivator? Or should he let people
love him the way he is? That's the way I'm
taking Well, you should be love the way you want.

Speaker 4 (44:33):
No matter what. Right.

Speaker 5 (44:34):
But if that's true, then then why do you why
would you ever encourage like a girl, they always get
fit before they get married, every girl I know, before
they get married on their wedding day, they want to
look great in the pictures, so they go crazy at
the gym for like two or three months with the
dialog and stuff.

Speaker 3 (44:54):
So well, look, I have my specialist film in December
second at the vic in Chicago. Tickets are on sale
right now several kindocomedy dot com I chose you Chicago.

Speaker 4 (45:02):
There's two shows. They're going fast, but they're.

Speaker 6 (45:05):
Not even gonna say, yeah, that's talking. We film bullshit.

Speaker 4 (45:07):
Yeah this is but when it comes out it will
be right now bullshit. You I owe you nothing but.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
December second, two shows at the vic in Chicago. It'sess
and I have been doing all I can. It's like
it's almost like I'm treating like a wedding day to
look good.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
Yeah, I'm been trying to lose weight. I'm trying to get,
you know, more fit. I mean, you have things that
bother me about myself? How long is it December?

Speaker 6 (45:32):
What year?

Speaker 1 (45:33):
It's twenty six?

Speaker 4 (45:36):
Chose months? Months? And also on all the places too.
The tour goes everywhere.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
Also, there's a cruise January twenty second to twenty sixth,
twenty twenty four, when Ericondry gets your Facecruise dot com.

Speaker 6 (45:46):
Don't forget the subscribe to YouTube channel official, and.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
You're gonna want to sign up to that because I'm
going to be giving a big prize away weekly.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
Yeah, and I'm only pulling.

Speaker 6 (45:54):
From that for your first for your first big price,
for your first big prize.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
Yes, let's have dinner with somebody, me and you.

Speaker 4 (46:01):
That's big. You want to get subscribed, that wouldn't be
my first. I mean they gotta. I gotta that those
numbers gott to go before that drawing is pulled.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
I already I'm not subscribed fifty already, I'm not subscribing
to channel already.

Speaker 6 (46:12):
You're saying big prize, that's a huge price.

Speaker 4 (46:14):
Right, But that's good. I mean, that's I gotta get more.
Like so when you get almost dropped that right now?

Speaker 2 (46:18):
And then how about this, when you get your plaque,
you're one hundred thousand subscribers, Okay, then you pull a
name from that and you and I'll go to dinner
with somebody.

Speaker 4 (46:25):
That's great. I would like to do more like higher
only because I'm why not shoot for the moon?

Speaker 3 (46:29):
You want to say two fifty Yeah, So I'm trying
to get up to like, yeah, we'll see what happened.

Speaker 4 (46:33):
How many do you have right now on the other one? Yeah,
Like I don't know. I think I'm guessing, yeah, three fifty, three, seventy.

Speaker 3 (46:40):
I really don't know, all right, but this is your
this is But the whole point is is that I
think I'm releasing the special on YouTube. I'm pretty sure
that's what I'm doing because it's a strategy that we're deploying. Right,
So if I do that when I subscribe for you, yes,
but I don't know if I might be releasing it
on no Presh or my channel.

Speaker 4 (46:58):
I'm not sure yet got it.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
So that's why I kind of well, we want to
we want to get the sable Kanto channel in the
gable Kano official right. Okay, so one million subscribers by
the way, Joe, Yeah, okay, one million subscribes will take somebody, Well,
I'll do five hundred thousand.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
Not with that deal. Five hundred thousand you're buying, I'm
not buying.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
Provendred. They'll be a prizes weekly anyway. But when I
get five hundred thousand subscribers, tell friends, tell family. Everybody
knows one person what you're saying, right, So so if
five hundred thousand people know somebody, yeah, exactly, the math
is easy. At five hundred thousand, the drawing will be
a dinner with me and Joe.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
That's great.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
I love that. That's fun.

Speaker 6 (47:35):
That's fun. One, that's good.

Speaker 4 (47:36):
Let's see if we get that. Okay, I'll tell you.

Speaker 6 (47:38):
Got they gotta come to Nosto. You gotta be in
New York. We're not going there.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
Yeah, no, we'll fly you.

Speaker 5 (47:41):
How about fifteen thousand, you get drive through with me,
good de taco, whatever you want.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Fifty fifteen drive through with me. Yeah, we'll get a subscriber. Yeah,
me and Steve.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
Let's just motivate the first one. Yeah, that's okay. So
we said it here here, so I'll I can say
that another promotional everywhere you want. Yeah, I'm at five
hundred thousand subscribers. I will pick from my subscribers one
winner to come to dinner with me and Joe.

Speaker 6 (48:12):
Yeah, but you're buying dinner, buy my channel and Steve
if you like, say they have to be subscribed to
my channel too.

Speaker 4 (48:20):
Okay, well.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
What are we doing for Archie?

Speaker 6 (48:25):
For for me and you? What do we for?

Speaker 4 (48:27):
Actually? Why not that we subscribe to both?

Speaker 6 (48:31):
Chances this will go. I'll make them subscribe at dinner. Uh,
what what do you want to have?

Speaker 1 (48:40):
Dessert?

Speaker 6 (48:41):
You can come from dessert.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
It's fine, Steve.

Speaker 6 (48:43):
Steve a subscribed. He's like, hopefully I went.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
All right, this is coming us from Sarah.

Speaker 6 (48:51):
Sarah.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
Mommy's I'm a huge I'm a huge yes man.

Speaker 6 (48:55):
This is a girl.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Okaya, I don't know what's going on here. Mommy's I'm
a huge yes man. I guess she's just and she's yes.

Speaker 5 (49:01):
How do you say no to How do you say
no to asks and things you just don't have the
energy to do without feeling bad?

Speaker 1 (49:07):
I hate letting people down.

Speaker 5 (49:08):
We're asking for help and quite frankly, I'm tired from
one cool mommy two others much love.

Speaker 4 (49:15):
She just read the topic and just so make sure
I got it right.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Yeah, Mommy's I'm a huge yes man. How do you
just say no to asks and things you just don't
have the energy to got it?

Speaker 4 (49:26):
I don't really know how to answer this.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
And then there lies, and there next question. Thanks so
much for joining us on Two Cool Moms. I've been
Joe Gato. This is her co host, Steve Bertan are
very good friend. Salve Volcano South, thank you for joining us, buddy.

Speaker 4 (49:45):
We love you. Lead by example.

Speaker 6 (49:46):
Yeah, that's hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
You know you're the best. I love you.

Speaker 6 (49:49):
Thank you for coming.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
You can't make them drink. Get the fuck out.

Speaker 10 (50:00):
Do you mean you