Baseball Is Boring ?

Baseball is back BUT is it boring?!?!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast,
Firm Elvis Presents fifteen Minute Show. It is the fifteen
minute morning show podcast. Let's go. We got a full house.
We got Froggy, we got Scary, we got Nate, we

(00:24):
got Scotty b I see Danielle, there's Gandhi, there's Garrett,
there's Dave Rody. It's opening day baseball. Yes, you guys
would be excited. I mean, I'm not a sports fan,
but I thought you guys to you and Brody love
the Mets. Yes, I'm a baseball fan, Elvis. But over
the last few years it's gotten boring. It's just it

(00:47):
really it is. Well, let's find out why it feels
that way. Why is that for you? Garrett three and
a half to four hours. It's it's like going to
the Batman and watching that, like it takes up so
much time, Like going to the game is different, Like,
but you can't go to the game for a hundred
and eighty two games. I'm I'm for the fact that

(01:07):
maybe if they just cut the season in half, give
us eighty games as opposed to a hundred and sixty two,
it might be a little bit more fun. With you Garrett,
I don't like baseball at all. I'm just quiet when
everybody gets excited because I don't want to yell there, young,
but I feel it's like the most sporing sport on
the whole planet. Golf is above baseball. Are you kidding?

(01:30):
I met more people watch the Masters this week than
watch golf ball. Oh possibly, but that's only because it's
the Masters game. Oh that's right, that's a pretty big story.
I can't wait to go to the ballpark and have
a hot dog and a warm beer a baseball game.

(01:50):
And you can talk unlike golf, which quiet place, and
baseball and you're getting it all wrong, Garrett. It's not
about watching the action necessarily. It's about the environment you're
and it's about having stadium. They okay, that's going to
that's going to the game. That's going to the game,
and you knowing in us here so you can sit
behind home place. So we're talking about watching things on TV.
Are going to the game. The majority of people are

(02:12):
going to watch the game. And and I think it's
boring there. There's no way everyone sits there. A normal
person sits there for almost four hours and watches all
nine innings. You probably don't want to get stuff done.
You like go around the house, do things you know,
you order, yeah, you eat, you go to the bathroom
watching passive like Daniellis say, yes, I think if you

(02:33):
like with sport, sorry, you know, like a sport, you're
into it, right, yeah, like Danielle's husband and her family
like soccer. Right, soccer can go three hours and nobody scores,
Like nothing happens, but people go crazy because there's a
lot of almost. So baseball is a game of almost
you look for the art form of it, and you
you appreciate what's going on. It's like watching the drama

(02:55):
you don't you don't watch Ozark and hoping someone gets
shot in the head every second, but what it happens.
It's nice song ended a tie too, and people are
still like, yo, okay, you know a shot in the
head every second, which is if you looked at it,
if you look at everyone in this zoom room, or
if you're listening to us on this podcast. There are
different people with different degrees of sports. Um fan, dumb,

(03:19):
dumb whatever, Gandhi and I just not into sports as much,
I guess, right, Like what, yeah, I like football, I
like basketball. I like soccer, golf, tennis. I honestly like,
I will watch almost any sport. When the Olympics are on,
love it, mm a, fighting, love it. Baseball for me
just kills me. And I thought it was one of
those things that maybe you had to be there too.

(03:40):
I actually went to a World Series game when the
Marlins were playing and they went into extra innings and
I was ready to just roll out of the seat.
I was like, this misery. Marlins beat the Yankees for
the World Series. I don't even remember it was the first.
I guess it fair to say that I'm the least

(04:01):
sports guyt Yeah, I've got some good comports. The Elvis.
You go to basketball games. That's much more than Scotty
would do. No, you know, I tell you what, Like
I watched the what was it, the eight thing? The
basketball things, Yeah, because I like tea, Yeah, Michael Jordan

(04:23):
documentary when local, when local teams are in, you know,
the big end things I watched. So I don't know
if this whole room knows it, but Scotty be actually
used to be a sports reporter. Album Carrott, you were
a sports reporter and you hated sports. No, I was
I was like eight years old and I wrote an
article about the Rangers and the penny save. Okay, that's look.

(04:47):
If I'm at a basketball game, if I'm at a
football game, I'm okay. But the baseball games I've gone to,
I enjoyed being outside for a while, but there was
mike clock ended before the games clock. I'm like, I
was ready to get You have to admit, I mean
baseball it is a little slow compared to like hockey,
which is NonStop, in soccer, which is non stopping football.

(05:09):
I mean, I do love baseball, but it definitely is slower.
That is the problem, Danielle, that everyone's talking about is
the declining you know, member, you know, declining attendance and
all that and interest with younger audiences because everyone's so
used to the I need action now to play. I
need home runs, I need strikeouts, I need this. I

(05:29):
need to and and unfortunately it doesn't. It pals in
comparients comparisons to other sports, and it pals in comparisons
to how people are living their lives within this fast paced,
on demand world that we're in. Yes, agreed, I love here.
I love going to games. I love to actually go
watch games. But in my head, I'm like, we gotta
get out of here before it's over, because it's gonna
be traffic, it's gonna be people. I don't want to
get stuck in all this stuff. So I mean I left.

(05:51):
I left some World Series game, like the Yankees were
in the World Series. It was tied up. It was
like game six or something like, we gotta go in
the World Series. Whatever. What an idiot, Yes, that'll go
to England. When he went to when we went to

(06:11):
the Super Bowl, I'm like, I don't care what happens,
and we're staying till the end and we will just
sit here and watch the celebration. We were one of
the last people to leave the stadium. Like they literally
were coming around saying, okay, now you have to leave.
That's how long we sat there. So we missed the crowd,
the traffic, everything because we just sat there. I would
do that, Yeah, I'd wait way after. I've actually had
another experience at a baseball game with Scotty b. I

(06:33):
caught a foul ball while sitting with Scotty be at
a at a baseball game. I bring you good Yeah
at City Field. Yeah, he's picking Scotty b what were
you talking about earlier about putting your dick in in butter? Butter?
Scary came in to get some butter and there was
a big, giant container of butter and only a tiny
bit left in the bottom, and it's been there for

(06:54):
a while, Like, I would never use that because at
some point somebody has stuck something in there in the
time that the butter was opened until that amount was left.
You specifically said you know how dicks have been in
that butter, as though you okay, well, that's just you know,
that's just the thing that I say. I don't think
there's actually a ton of dicks in there, but I
feel like somebody stuck something in there that shouldn't have
been in there that you don't want your equivalent on

(07:16):
the curtains and a hotel for yourself. Nobody does ever,
But Scotty, why do you always go to dicks like
like any just to say, I don't know. You also
really can't stick like a vagina, but I guess you
could when it's brand new. But does it look like

(07:39):
there was a no, No, Danielle, it was a little
lump of butter on the bottom all by itself butter.
That was it. All I did was I stuck my
maza in it to scrape out what was left, and
that was Are you implying the butter is batter? Well, no,
he defiled the butter with his maza that he double dipped. No,

(08:00):
because it was the end of the contain. There's a
big difference between Matza. Hey, hey, big difference between Matza
and penis what kind of people do you think we
work with that they put their in the butter? I
don't know. I just think people do things. That's it.
I don't I don't trust people. Go back to Dick's

(08:20):
for a second. So this just actually changed. So everyone
knows Dicks Sporting Goods and for the longest time, if
you typed in Dicks, you actually got what you typed in.
But now if you type in Dicks dot com, you
actually go to Dicks Sporting Goods. So they actually paid
for the rights to have Dicks dot com oh store. Yeah, seriously,

(08:42):
that was I was curious how much they actually paid
the guy who owned that that They never had that website.
They never had Dicks dot com. Now, Dix was a
thing before Dix was a thing. You know what I mean, oh, okay, yeah, okay,
I want to I bet you if you google dicks
and food or something like that, you'll see a whole

(09:02):
slew of people putting their penises and things. You can
google anything, probably, but you think it's going to he
got dick, sporting goods and butter and how many pictures
at you know, the whole that's saying. We don't see
the world as the world is. We see the world
as we are. So every time Scotty talks about there's

(09:24):
been a dick in that, all I think is all
the things that Scotty has probably put his dinger in.
Have you ever put your dinger in any food product? Ever? Never? Never?
That would be silly. Have you ever put a food products?
Had sex with cereal? I've never had sex with cereal.
Have you done a fruit loop cereal? That would be

(09:47):
trouble Elvis. What did you find? I think that would
like hurt your penis? A fruit loop because it's very
you know, Almus, what did you find? It's just a
bunch of food that's shaped like penises. Did you bookmark
to send that to me? Please? Speaking of food that's

(10:08):
shaped like penises, we were talking about Cavitelli today cavity.
So it's called cavat elvises, cavatopi c A v A

(10:33):
t A p p i cavatopi. But what's your point
it last night? Oh? Do you mean the one shaped
like a pig's wiener? So then I googled pig penis
and they are shaped like that. They're curly curly penises
tail tail. That was screwy noodles, Google, I'll put you

(10:55):
want me to put the image in the room here?
How do you use it now? But if you could
google pig penis and bottom, that'd be great. Hang on,
I gotta be honest with you. The most shocking part
about this podcast in the Zoo room is that Elvis
is still here. I tell you why. He's forced to me.

(11:16):
I'm getting nothing nothing from this content. Nothing. It's just stupid.
It's boring, just like basic. I mean, now you're getting
the pig penis. It's picking up a little bit big penis.
Everybody's looking Okay, yeah, it's it's cork screwed for a reason,
I do believe. I think it's to keep the the

(11:37):
female from leaving. Leaving, Maybe consider having yours reshaped maybe
it's to the pick and open up a bottle of wine.
You can call it a park screw, all right. I

(12:00):
think we should add on that, because they ain't gonna
get funny. Bye Bye The Fifteen Minute Morning Show.