July 29, 2025 • 52 mins
In this week's episode, Lisa unpacks the art of delusion: why we lie to ourselves, believe our own hype, and double down even when the facts say "no thanks." She and Nick talk blind ambition, ego, and the fine line between confidence and full-blown fantasy. Listener letters include a woman who thinks she's the next big thing, and a middle-aged man who wants to dive into acting--but hey, a dream is a dream, right? And sometimes denial is rocket fuel for a dream with zero plan.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it
all and her words come from her head, her heart,
and often out of her ass. This podcast should not
be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a
huge strain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These You need help, You're the problems.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Come on, come down.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Go lamb take a pill. I think you're insane. Do
what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Yeah,
it's Lisa Lambinelli here. We're listening to Shrink This with
(00:54):
Lisa Lampinelli the podcast. We have no delusions about right neck,
that's right. We know we have four listeners and they're
all related to me and you, and we don't dilute
ourselves into thinking where big shots are famous.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
We know Okay, I.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Know my level and I get it. Okay, you'll leave
this damn business called show and they forget gen they
replace you immediately. But I accept it, and that's okay.
But if you are listening, thanks for sticking with me.
And Who my co host who.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Nick on Instagram and tiktoks.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
And read and Grinder.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Right, Celia, and only fans.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, only fans. I'm trying to think. He says he
has an enormous long I've never seen you.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Did you said you have people are advocated for me,
I have references.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Well, the thing is you've said it because I remember
debating you and our other two straight friends, Bo and Andrew,
and I bet. I had bet that Andrew is the
most endowed, but you three said you've compared them. So
if you did some pandemic texting of your thing, yeah,
(02:13):
it does take boredom to do that to other guys.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Bo vouched for me. He's my pr person.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
But Bo's like an Irish donkey with a little.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Dick, got the Irish curse.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah, just saying and Ginsburg. Let's just leave it at
that now. But that reason why we bring up your
penis today is we're discussing the state of mind that
is delusional because I don't know, dude, I've been getting
so mad at people lately. First of all, let's just
admit Lisa Lampinelli, if you want some advice from her,
(02:44):
send us a LETOIR or maybe a carryer pigeon or
an email to shrink this show at gmail dot com
that shrink this show at gmail dot com, and we'll
try to help sort of and make fun of you probably,
let's be honest, but it's been I'm gonnap lately. That
has been really bothering me how difficult my life is
(03:04):
because I'm the smartest person I've ever met. Do you
know the burden of knowing more than everyone else in
your friend group? Because I can't be friends with my
age because they say things like, no, we've got a
nice group of cool gowns to get together. No, you're
sixty three sixty four like me, you are not. I
don't want to meet your cool goals. I want to
(03:25):
hang around with the thirty year olds and the forty
year olds because I'm mad cool or I'm I delusional,
I don't know, but I don't care. So the problem
with being older and having more experience than most of
your people are that you quote think you no more,
but and you definitely have more life experience. So I'm
forever confronted with people in my life and just in
(03:45):
the media who I feel are delusional and think they're
good enough at something that they should pursue it you're not,
or that their haircut makes them look better. It doesn't,
or that they have enough money for that big trip
to Bermida. You don't. And that's not a country. I
just combined two countries and said that one. I know
(04:07):
the advice. I know that I want to say to them.
First of all, that haircut makes your face look even
fucking fatter. Second of all, you can't afford the trip,
you stupid cunt. You got nothing in the bank, But
you can't say this stuff. So every day I am
a heaping pile of steaming feelings and emotions. Mother's cut.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
That's Dancing with the Star. So that's Dancing with the
Stars theme song.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Absolutely well, because that's where we get to my delusion,
which is, I think at eighty years old, when I
wake up in seventeen years, I'll be asked to be
Undancing with the Stars and be the world's oldest winner.
So you know, we all have our delusions. Mine's harmless
because chances are all be dead by then and it
won't even matter. But that is my little delusion. So anyway,
(05:04):
thank god it wasn't something else, some other weird ring.
Of course she did.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
She loves sell ya.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
I know we like cell Ya. We made you a
real Italian. So, Nick, do you have delusional people in
your life? See, I have a feeling I'm bothered more
by their delusions because I wasn't allowed to be delusional
as a kid. I wasn't allowed to be delusional and
think I was too much. Oh, don't get too big
(05:35):
for your breeches. Don't think you got anything special, whether
it's by society or by relatives or teachers. And I
think I had it like knocked out of me at
a young age that I'm like, no, I know my level.
I know like how unfamous or famous I am. I
know how what areas I have talent? And so I
am so judge you with people who I feel misjudged
(05:57):
their level. Right, what do you think?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I don't have anyone really in my life who is
that delusional? I think, I really don't. I The only
time I do, you know, I say I'm unbothered. The
only time I have gotten upset is with comedy. That's
it would stand up if it was like someone who's
at all at the same level, but they think they
should be like wherever, there's where I get like fuck you,
(06:25):
Like that's that's where I get annoyed and get mad
and I take it all on, but outside of it,
I've almost it's not delusion. I've been the opposite in
my whole life of like just talking myself out of
things and being.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Like, oh, I'm so, You're the opposite.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Complete opposite. And I have admired people who had the
confidence of like, like, the best example I could give,
I'll never forget this is when I was in high school.
I was like fourteen or fifteen. I met my good friend,
my now best friend, Anthony. Right, We're talking about football
and playing the sport whatever, and I mentioned a guy.
You guys won't know this, ray Lewis, and all the
(07:01):
gays and women listening, they won't understand. Okay, ray Lewis
one of the best linebackers ever in the history of
the NFL.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Oh sounds hot, very hot, hot black man.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
And I was talking to Anthony and he was I
was like, dude. I was like, I was like, do
you think you could block ray Lewis? And he immediately goes, yeah,
no problem, and he goes, I die, but I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I was like, Okay, he died though.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
But he's like, no, I'll knock him out. That's what
he said. And I was like, wow, does he have
so much like I'm like nervous about everything. I was like,
I admire this guy.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I do too, Like I admire it, but also I
admire it because he was realistic about it. He was like,
I would be killed, but I'd still do it right.
But people who'll be like I could get like a
serve off of it. I could hit Serena's serve. No,
you can't. I know you were number one in your
high school in LA and you went to maybe college
(07:51):
for tennis on this tennis scholarship. But there's no way
you're getting one point off her.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
No, not, what was one hundred and twenty miles an hour?
Those serves are.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yeah, So I was just like, eh, and it's just
like I don't. But here's my problem. The reason I
want to do an episode is that it bothers me
to an extreme degree that is disproportionate. Like I literally
feel like I'm flaming inside. I'm just like, I don't
make me hate you by your unfounded belief in yourself. Yes,
(08:22):
you know, like, and then it bothers me actually makes
me just as furious, which I think is a good
sign of somebody who has enormous talent but doesn't see it.
I get furious at them because I have some students
at the conservatory that I teach comedy to and they
have imposter syndrome, which, by the way, I can't relate
to at all. I always again, because I didn't believe
(08:43):
in myself more than I thought I should. I don't
think I'm an imposter in the areas that I was
good at, and those areas are very small. They are
what do you call that? Parallel parking, stand up and
just driving. No, it's terrible. That not good and driving itself.
(09:06):
So if you have three Oh, I'm a good typist too.
I'm one hundred and two miles per minute whatever it is,
minute hundred and two words a minute. So I have
those four talents, I would not ever be an impostor.
I think I'm an impostor. Oh no, I can't type
that fast. Yeah he fucking can, clam I could squeeze
into any space. Parallel parking, why, like, it's fine. I
(09:27):
know you've witnessed my parking prowess.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Take a fuck it, we're doing it.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
So I get annoyed with the people who have imposter
syndrome when they're actually so good. We have to do
in an episode of imposter Syndrome and bring in one
of the students who feels he's not good even though
he's getting cast in every play is the lead. I'm like,
start believing yourself, you little homo. I don't even know
if he's slap your face, but yeah, I think that
(09:57):
it bothers me to an extraordinary degree. That's just too much.
It shouldn't. It should be like where my shrink is, Like,
you know, she's British, so she talks all classy, so
she's like, just notice when it's triggering you and look
at it and then let it go. And she like
does a nice thing with her fingers, like very yeah,
(10:17):
very fluttery hands. So then just let it go. And
I just go, yeah, but how like what's the procedure
of letting go? Like yeah, and then she starts yelling
at me in a British voice but it's GLASSYU but like, yeah,
they like that word over there. I enjoy it, So
I don't know, it shouldn't bother me as much. But like,
(10:40):
also is their delusion. First of all, it all comes
from judgment, because I'm judging that they first of all,
are doing these things that they shouldn't believe in themselves for.
So if you're getting the haircut that will make your
face look thin, and you think it does, why do
I care? So judgment it's always bad. Like if somebody's
(11:02):
going to look at a reception, no like a venue
for like a big fiftieth anniversary and they can't afford it,
why do I care? It's because I'm it. I think
it all starts because I'm just very judgy, and wee're
taught as comics. That's how it's funny when you're a
judgy bitch. You know that's it's funny on stage, But
(11:23):
in real life it's not cool to like shake someone,
take them by the shoulders and slap them silly and
go you delusional twat you don't have a pot to
piss in, or stupid bitch, you just wasted two hundred
dollars on that haircut and you look like fucking Shaggy
from Scooby Doo but fat Like stop, Yeah, Like I
(11:46):
wonder why the judgment. It's just I have. That's my
thing I have to work on because I really want
to help people, even jokally on the show or like
in real life, it doesn't help to like want to
shake them all the time. I think it's okay to
want to shake them all the time, but it has
to be where you don't just explode. Are you fucking
delusional or what? That's a good way to lose friends,
(12:08):
I would think, I mean I have, And there's all
those sayings like, I mean, I get it. Fortune favors
the bold, because honestly, I think it was Obama who
said something like, you know, when he got to the top,
it was finally like you never realize how many mediocre
people are at the top just because they believe in themselves.
And whereas he was not mediocre in the least, like
(12:31):
he actually earned his place. But it's just like, oh,
then you see all these people in these positions of
power that just their dumb ass belief in themselves has
made them successful. I just watched last night somebody was
this black creator on TikTok was just talking about j
Lo and how she goes. This isn't a hate j
(12:52):
Lo post. It's a for someone who doesn't sing the best,
dance the best, or act the best, certainly has believed
in herself enough to make delusion her superpower. So the
belief in oneself as I can be the best kind
of outweighs the actual talent.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I think. So do you think here's a question for you.
Do you think that in order to make it in
show business especially, you need to have some sort of
delusion like do you think you need to have a
little time.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I don't know, delusion that you're gonna be the one
who breaks through?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah, Like just yeah, I feel like everyone who has
made it, like there may be some people who think
they are pieces of shouldn't make it through, you know
what I mean the whole time, But like I feel
like you gotta have some like a little bit of
fakety and make it of like I'm gonna I'm the
fucking best that's ever.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I mean I always was like I'm the fucking best, right,
But I was a delusion. I just was. But that's
what's nuts about it, is like you have to believe
in yourself so strongly, so where like say, Jlo, this
will be the most complimentary thing she's ever heard about herself.
Jlo is the Lisa Lampinelli of music. She had a
(14:09):
certain amount of talent and then she worked it into
something bigger. Yeah, same, But it's like, does I think
I think we all have to have a certain little, weird,
delusional belief that the business will take us in. But
I wonder if it's like delusion in our own level
(14:31):
of talent. I don't think is that helpful or our
level of whatever it is?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Yeah, I feel like you did. I guess the question
is like what toe is like having a lot of
self confidence into delusion, Like when do you cross the.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Line when I think when you don't have when you're
when you're rotten checks your ass can't have no because
it's just like you're kind of like bombing at your
you know when it used to exist your Carolines audition consistently, yeah,
you know, or you're kind of in the business for
thirty years. But there's exceptions to that too. I was
(15:06):
gonna say thirty years and don't have TV credits yet,
But there's exceptions. They're Jessica Curson, who's usually popular and
famous now but had stuck with it a lot longer
than I ever would have without any fame, right, and
she didn't have it easy at all, and it's like,
oh good, her time's finally come. And remember that story,
like Lewis Black started at Yale when he was eighteen
(15:28):
and didn't make it till he was fifty. On the
Daily Show, there's no way I could have hung for
thirty two years and not wanted to just like eat
a gun and quit. And also, you're a Yale guy,
You're smart. So he had to have probably profound belief
in himself. But his belief and Jessica's is backed up
by talent. I think it's like, at the end of
(15:50):
the day, I'd rather be fifty percent hard work, fifty
percent talent than ninety percent talent ten percent hard work
because you're not. I don't think you're gonna make it
that way. That'd be rare.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Yeah, I just don't know. I mean, there's so many
examples of like, of course I'm gonna use the fucking
Gonzo examples. But of course Chaz commentary right, like getting all,
he's almost forty years old, he's on unemployment, he's an
actor quote unquote. He's getting offers for a Bronx tale
in this but they don't want him to act in it,
and he's like no, he's turning down half a million,
a million whatever. And then finally meets de Niro, he
(16:25):
gets the money the movie's made, right, like to hold
out like that or I even I can't pronounce his
last name, but you've met him dominic, uncle j oh,
I love him uncle gently right. Apparently, I mean he
was in the Godfather, but apparently before Sopranos he was
in like a one bedroom like you know, as old
as that. He was whatever the hell he was when
(16:45):
Sopranos started, and then he got Sopranos, and then I.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Know, I how about Abe Fragoda, Bundy Miller and Fish fame.
I once so I'm waiting for a bus and I
was like, Fragoda was in The Godfather. He was, you
know Clemenza, I think, or whatever, one.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
The big ears dude. Yeah, I think he's the security
guy or whatever they kill Torio.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
No, No, he's like a big star, one of the
big stars of The Godfather. Yeah, not maybe not Clemensa,
but the other guy in the scene of leave the Gun,
Take the Connolly's. So he's like the one who's cooking
the sauce. Everything got it. But he a two huge series,
which is Barney Miller and Fish, which is his own show.
It's all in the eighties, and I love he's not
(17:27):
He probably has enough money, but he's still taking the bus. Yeah,
like they said, Letterman took the subway. Sure, this isn't
an episode on cheapness, but.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Part of me is like took the sixth train.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I know, but like part of me is like, do
you not know your level that you shouldn't be doing that?
I don't get no. I think also when you're kind
of an able to go to probably born during the
Great Depression, that you're just like, fuck it, I'm taking
the bus.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I remember, because I was at the time I saw him,
I was in a car that was being driven, you know,
to somewhere. So it was a nice car, and I
was like, how is it that I'm in a nicer
car than the fucking guy from The Godfather?
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
You know so. But I think it's really hard to
manage friendships with this stuff because you just go to,
oh my god, I'm being such a judge bitch, and
then oh I hate that about myself, And it never
really gets solved because it's like I tell somebody or
I hear someone's hair brain scheme, and then I'm like great,
(18:33):
and then I'm like I get off the phone, I'm like,
I hate them. They're such fucking delusional assholes. And then
I'm like, oh, I hate that about myself, but I
hate them. So you never really get to the how
do we solve this? Which is lighting up on yourself
for having judgment, because we all have judgment. It's a
survival skill. And then just sort of like my shrink says,
with their cute little fluttery fingers, let it go, but
(18:56):
I still need tools.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Let it go.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah, a god like would be great. I I thought
I was a good singer, then I would have a delusion.
Yet I know I can carry a tune.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I don't know you can match pitch.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
You know, nick, I really can. Girl. Me and Cynthia
Rivo hang out all the time with our big fake nails. Now,
don't think she's illusional? Of is that that fucking septum
piercing looks good? That's some ship. But I once did
hear a quote queer creator talk about that that is
(19:33):
a coded thing. It's a signal, Like a lot of
queer people wear the septim ring as a signal to
others of their person personality and what their values are.
So I get it that.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
You could shut listen.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I'm trying to talk serious. I see, I'm delusional for
thinking you could be on a show with me raise
to this level, but even to the extent of like
the whole impost thing drives me nuts too, because I
even read a quote from like Lucia Ball, like inarguably
one of the greatest comic minds ever, and she the
(20:10):
quote was literally, I'm not funny, I'm just brave, Like
that's bullshit, Like she's fucking funny. So I think it's
finding that fine line. And also it's it's acknowledging that
we as the observer, don't know everything, because as you know,
I think I know everything. But I remember I had
a relative who was in the hospital and he was like,
(20:32):
you know, definitely overweight, and I said, if that fucking
guy doesn't have diabetes, I'll eat my hat. Well guess what,
my fucking hat tasted good because he didn't. And I
was like, yeah, just I'm very very hot sauce. It
was that stuff that Vulcan hot sauce stuff. Celia tried
(20:53):
to poison you with habinciero, And so I was like, oh, wait,
he doesn't have diabetes. I was there for the blood test.
I guess I don't know everything, So maybe it's just
acknowledging that maybe I don't know everything about these people's talent,
their savings plan, who's paying for the event, who how
(21:14):
they want their face to look, whatever. But I really
hesitate to give opinions because it's always going to be
bad about what they ask. Am I talented? I say
you're nothing special? Is that bad? If they say does
my face look thinner? When am I supposed to say? Oh,
I hope, I'm glad you think so? They see right through.
(21:35):
So I think it's basically either except that I'm always right,
or just let it good. It's funny when they tell
you got a producer and they're twenty two and they
don't know shit. I thought they'd be a boss and
they let I'm just kidding. She is our boss. I'm
(21:56):
a little fearful of Celia because I'm like, we're gonna
be late, and she's like, no problem. I'm like, oh, good, mom,
he's not mad, And then I remember she's twenty two.
What the fuck do I care? Anyway? Yeah, you don't
have the delusion. You're a fucking boss, Celia.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
Oh I trust me, I do not, okay, Goad, No,
we love you each other, I know.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Kind of in her we do. I like that we
welcome here. And Cilia it needs her fucking head examined too,
because I said to her she looks nice today. She
don't say thank you. Instead, my pants are so big
she can't take a cop I said, I said, only
have pants on the fit because you you've lost weight
and you'll know they're even bigger and you hold them
(22:37):
out really big, doll, you're worse in the last one.
Then why are you delusional enough that you're that you
haven't earned yourself some pants that are the right size.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
No, that's not it. I just can't find any that
like fit me perfectly.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
But then nothing's ever gonna fit anyone perfectly. You've got
to settle like Nick has for all the pussy he's
ever gotten. There's no way to shine.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Frankly, I think I'm like between sizes, so I'm trying
to like, wait a second, and then go I agree.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
No, I agree because I hate wasting money too.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want to waste
money on like on clothes that i'll wear once or
they just like don't.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
They're not good quality. I am so on your side
about that. It does. He's in between yah. Yeah. But
my favorite was when Nick, that fat bastard, he says
to me last week, you want to buy my Bloomingdale's
gift code off of me? None of the clothes fit,
and I'm like, I'll buy that ship from you. I'll
(23:37):
go to bloomingdale.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
I was trying on clothes and I.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Was like, it's just Bloomingdale's is for a slim fit
and all that for men. But you're You're a guy
who's a trainer in quotes, you have musculature.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
I do.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
So that's why it's not gonna you know, the I'm.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Gonna go buy those bar Bell jeans at that hot
black guy you know.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah, Well, they're not in advertisers. I don't mention them.
Not for us me.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
They are because I'm famous.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
We're talking about being delusional. Nick just said he's famous,
which is a great intro to that. Nick, go ahead,
who do we hear from this week?
Speaker 3 (24:22):
All right?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
And by the way, if you have a question, email
to shrink this show at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
How should I read this with the voice?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I don't know. I think you should just improvise it
as you go along.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
This guy's name is Mike, so we'll figure it out.
I can't believe, or Lisa, I can't believe I'm actually
writing to you.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I can't either the audacity. See white straight men, they've
got the fucking audacity.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
These fuckers. God, I wish you would it were for
something normal, But here we are. My name is Mike,
I'm thirty seven, and I live in Tampa.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Florida with my wife Tampalm.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Should I say my influencer?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Oh? Eve, is everyone an influencer? Money?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
I want to stop reading this letter, but anyway, I
hate her. She's convinced she's going to be an influencer.
I'm like, oh, let me post cute outfits on Instagram. Influencer.
More like, I'm quitting my job to be a full
time content creator influencer. She's got three hundred and twelve fars.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Oh that's worse than Nick.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Put a perfect number, and half of them are pots.
She spends hours all caps taking selfies, filming makeup tutorials
that nobody watches, and talking about how brands are going
to start reaching out any day now. Meanwhile, I'm the
one paying the rent. I don't want to crush her jeams.
(25:47):
But at what point do I sit her down and
give her reality check or do I just let her
ride this out until reality smacks are in the face,
or you will Mike help.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Well, here's the deal. I had an idea for a
TV show years ago that I think is still a
great idea. No one ever, I don't even think I
pitched it, but it's such a good idea. It was
called dream Killer, and it was where I would go
and I would listen to comics, singers, watch dancers, actors.
(26:20):
In the first fifteen minutes of the show would be
you kill their dream. You tell them you're awful, You're
not going to make it. But the good news is
the show is about helping you find what your real
dream is and finding that and so digging deep finding
what They would get the same kind of emotional hit
(26:41):
off what they did were doing, but it was really
something they were good at. So this bitch needs dream Killer.
I think that's a great show idea.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Ye, it's great. I think it's about how you and
I met pretty much pretty much.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
So she is delusional, but there are ways he can help,
I think, but not in the codependent pay for her
forever a way, because I don't think that's healthy. I
don't mind if a broad's making money, but it should
be equal, you know. So here's what I feel. He
(27:14):
could kindly say, Look, they're social media experts out there.
Let me buy you for your birthday a seminar for
six months of coaching with a social media person who
will really help you have this thing take off, because
quote brands don't just find you like, that's not a thing.
You're not on TV. They didn't see you hosting the
(27:36):
fucking Critics Choice and go, oh my god, I need
her for my makeup line. The bitch has three hundred
twelve followers who aren't real. So I think there's a
way you can support the dream to an extent that
you won't resent that person later. But if he keeps
paying for everything, I mean, I don't care how rich
I am. I would not want to support anyone fully
(27:59):
unless they're under eighteen. Yeah what do you think?
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah that's true. Children can have dreams.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Yeah, let's kill them after eighteen, not the dreams, the children.
Let's just kill the children.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Yeah on the head.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, all done.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
But uh, this is tough because it's your it's your wife,
it's a romantic partner.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
See, I forget that part. I'm just like about being
real with everybody.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
No, like I get it, but like this is a
guy who asked it, like he's.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You've got to try and get his dick quid every
now and again.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Yeah, and it's like, but isn't that.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Even more of a reason to be like honey? I mean, okay,
would you Celia, you're delusional? Can I ask you that?
Tell me if this would offend you? Honey? Oh my god,
I see how much you love, you know, growing your
following and taking pictures and posting videos. I think you
have a really knack for it, But I think you
can only get so far by doing it on your own.
(28:55):
I think what would you say if kind of we
got a little help and help, But you need to
have it take off because I don't think brand I've
been doing some reading and doesn't seem like brands just
find you. You have to sort of put yourself out there,
So why don't we get you some tools to do
that most effectively?
Speaker 4 (29:11):
I think that's the best way to handle it.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Especially you were supposed to play act as the wife.
Oh you were supposed to get a cute voice on
and just be like, oh my man, honey, yes, let
me gobble your knob. But you know something like that.
I mean, but no, okay, Nick takeover, you're the life. No,
but Celia, it is that offensive. I think that's really loving.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
I think it would be easy to take anything as
offensive that isn't support or maybe I'm just really sensitive.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
No, no, no, you're right, and those bitches have to
be checked. Yeah, because they were brought up in that
world of the you're so delicate and you can't handle anything,
and it's not doing them any favors because life is
eventually going to hand you something you have to handle.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
And something way bigger too.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
It's going to be a death, it's going to be
somebody to get sick. It's going to be having to
date a nick. I mean, life is not kind to do.
So yeah, it's I think if someone's that sensitive, that's
the thing to look at. It's like, wow, if you're
taking offense at me offering to help you with this,
then why don't we talk about that?
Speaker 4 (30:15):
And also the bar is like in hell for men,
So the fact that he's willing to help like that,
that shows a lot. I think most husbands these days
would probably just like go off on them and then
say good red ends.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah yeah, I mean I I think also you have
to in your heart believe the person who you're dealing
with has something to offer, you know, Like I remember
when my niece started her podcast, and again like they
weren't spending any money. They had like forty dollars microphones.
They were just doing it for fun. But I think
(30:51):
like she was a graduate from I think she had
masters from BU and TV writing. She already knew how
to do improv and she funny, and so it was like, oh,
no risk, let's see if it takes off. But I
think if her husband had not seen a little of
the ability, he would have been like, oh, you know,
it's a cute hobby, which I get. I don't mind
(31:13):
people having cute hobbies. I love somebody has a hobby
like knit, Why don't you go knit? Be a knitter?
That's what I think. Maybe we should call her and
say just nit bitch, Yeah what no? So I think
that you're right. The thing that has to be addressed
first is like, WHOA, you're taking offense me trying to
(31:33):
give you a gift of help. That's maybe you got
to look inside at how delicate your nervous system is
that you can't even handle like that. You don't know everything.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Yet, And at that point that could just be like insecurity,
being like I can't do this either, like right, projecting right.
If you get mad at someone for telling like trying
to help you, that just means you don't think.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
You can do it yourself, that's true, and honestly, who
can really do all of it by themselves? He gets
to a certain point where you're like, like, even I
saw this girl I follow as a social media consultant,
like she teach how a girl following. I've never cared
about social media because I'm just not in that world,
but partly was like at my age, I would like
learn that. Yeah, like what would I be like, Oh no,
(32:16):
I know it all. I don't know shit.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
The only I'm never taking advice on is comedy and
parallel parking. Nobody can do that like I can. All right,
so listen, what's his name? Mike?
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Mike?
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Tell your wife you'll help her, but stop paying all
the bills and if she doesn't kick the clamout. I
think that's what Sylia says to all right, what's the
next letter.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Dear Lisa. My friend just turned fifty, and he told
me that he's going to return to acting, oh boy,
after they're taking fifteen years off. But this time, he
says he's going to become the star he always knew.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Yeah, because so many stars blossom at fifty.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
He's getting new headshots.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
He signed up for acting classes and asked me if
I knew any agents. Oh boy, when he was an actor,
he did mostly extra work and there's nothing special about him.
Do I tell him? I think he's wasting his time
and money. Thanks Rob from New York.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Let's just put it this way, Rob, your butt banded buddy. Yeah,
those shots he's getting better be shots of him given
head because that's the only way he's making money. No,
that's a rough one, because the fifty year old actor.
I have actually met people who after retirement decided to
(33:37):
act and then they get like all these commercials because
they're real people, they look real, they're older, they're playing
parts in plays that like somebody over fifty plays, So
it does happen like you can work. But the thing
that alarms me in this is the become quote the
star that he's meant to be. I can't. I think
(33:58):
that's delusion. Just knowing how many people had their big
break at over fifty, there's like three, and it probably
isn't going to be him if all he'd done was
his extra work. I think it's great to have it
the beginner's mind of like, hey, I'm going to learn
more acting and like you said, he's going to go
to classes, get headshots. The asking for the agent early
(34:19):
is what tips me off too, because you shouldn't have
an I always said people go like, uh, I need
a manager, and I'd be like, un till you have
a career to manage. You don't need a manager, like
you need the career first. So that may have changed.
I don't know a lot of my students already have
at agents. But also they've been dancing and singing since
they're three. Yeah, so I kind of get like seventeen
(34:41):
years okay, whatever, But dude, someone who makes it out
that their goal is to be a star versus learn
acting and be their best, that that worries me.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Yeah. Two questions. One, when do you think I should
get a manager?
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Never? I know a good one. She's cute, shut up.
And two, I want to know what this guy's going
through that at fifty, like, what did this sweat? There's
a divorce? Did something switch? Like what happened? We'll see
our backstory.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Well, as someone who's done late in life changes, I
think there's nothing wrong with that, just because I don't worry.
I didn't. I noticed when you said that Celia dish
her little I'm twenty two. That ridiculous to change it fifty. No,
I know you did. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Mid life crisis.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
No, there's no. Mid prices is way earlier than that.
Trust me. These men, that's like a forty that's when
the midlife crisis comes in. Sorry, so are.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
You to find like a forty five year old man?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
I don't think this is about dating the undateable? Can
we just what time? Idea? All right, turn off the microphone?
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Body issues will be next week?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Yeah? No, But seriously, I think I don't think there's
anything wrong with noticing what comes up and that oh wow,
acting always did appeal to me. That sounds cute. It's
sounding cute, and doing it is nice to me. But
the I'm going to be the star that I always
thought I should be bring Nathan Lane from from Birdcage.
(36:20):
You know vibe. Oh I never made it. You were
always holding me back. I gave you the best. So
I think I don't think his friend has to say
anything to him. And again, this is the advice I
need to always take because what is the end? He said,
(36:40):
Should I tell him should.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Crush he's wasting his time and money?
Speaker 2 (36:45):
No, because I think you those are the ones you
have to let burn. If he was risking his whole
life savings. If he goes, look, I've decided. And by
the way, I was gonna say, apply to the Ale
School of Drama and or Juliard. He's not getting in anyway,
but say he was like, I'm applying to Joe Smith.
Is Smithy's Joe Smith. He's acting club and it costs
(37:08):
me five hundred thousand dollars and that's all the money
he has. Then a friend I think would step in
and go, dude, how about we take it slow, stick
the tip in as I always say, and just be like,
am I right so? And just take maybe one acting class.
So I think it's cute to like discover hobbies and
things like later and who knows it could take off
(37:29):
and maybe he wasn't at twenty when he was getting
extra work, kind of fully realized as a human, and
now he can actually act, I think his friend. Unless
he's spending a huge amount of money and threatening his
own lifestyle and he's going to lose his house. Let
him tak the class, let him get the dumb shots
of him blowing people. But also when he asks about agents,
(37:53):
that's the that's the point where you can have the
tiny kind voice of reason just go, hey, maybe it's
a little soon for that. I hear people get that
when they're like five years in, So monny, let's just
wait on that. Like that could be I don't think
that's offensive, Like Celia, as an a former actress yourself,
(38:13):
would you take it? Would you take offense if somebody
said maybe it's too soon to think about whatever insert
action step here.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
No, because that like that I need someone to tell
me that, Yeah, okay, yeah, that's not offensive to me.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Yeah, because a lot of the times I think to myself,
you know, I'd make a fucking great mentor of people
going up in this business because I'd be able to
be like, oh, by the way, you know, I think
that would come later it's not judgy. So I just
think like kind of learn from the people's experience who
have had these experiences and be like, okay, so a
couple of years.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Yeah, that's why people network, like right out of college,
because you're trying to talk to people who do what
you want to do or have been doing what you
want to do for a really long time time. Because
that's like where you go for advice. There are people
who have done what you what you want to do before.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Because you can't listen to somebody who hasn't walked in
those shoes already. Like, no one's gonna believe me that
fame is bullshit and solves doesn't solve your problems. Uh
if I'm not famous at some point, you know what
I mean. So it's theoretical advice versus real world advice.
So I think, with this guy I don't know, let
(39:27):
him go, let him not spend his entire savings on
the thing, let him have his little dream. And we
all know in our hearts he's what we call a
loser with a dream. Been there, Yeah, you sure are
all right.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Our next letter, Dear Lisa.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Oh it sounds good.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
My friend Ian is fat and ugly, but he has
money and only day women if she's.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
A nine or a oh no, no no, wh.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Not surprising. He's been single forever. I think he should
lower his standards. Should I tell him that or let
him figure it on his own? Billy from Milwaukee with.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Canty Okay, First of all, the Home of Phonsie. We
think we've talked about the story. I will say we
got a lot of They should stop listening to us
in Milwaukee. That's all I have said. I think what
I don't like about this is Ian's not doing this
because he has high standards and looks. He's doing this
(40:32):
to fulfill being uncomfortable with intimacy and wanting to stay alone.
He basically knows that if he shoots after some girl
who's like a ten and he's like a two point three,
then he's never gonna have to really expose who he
is and be intimate and can just stay safe in
his little fat bubble for the rest of his life.
(40:52):
And from what his best friend sounds like his fat
and ugly bubble. Again, I don't feel the guys dating
trying to date tens for the right reason.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
He's not figuring out anything that's.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
The thing he's never figuring out on his own. I
think there's a gentle way to say this, but I'm
not a guy technically, just emotionally. Nick. If there's a
guy friend that's this delusional and this blocked and stuck,
because that's really what it is. Our guys the type
(41:25):
who would just be like, dude, look at you. You're
a fucking oh really so you'd say you're a fucking
friend group.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
I mean, everyone's honest as fuck, Dude. I'll say things
and make jokes and vice versa, and I'm like, well,
we'll be like, but really you think that's you think
that's why this is happening. We know why, right? You
know what I mean? Like, yeah, we don't pull Guys
don't pull punches really.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
So maybe he should just use the man card then
and be like, hey, you know what, dude, I get
having high standards. We all want to be attractive and
attracted to someone, but you're a six, Like, be nice.
We know he's a two point three, you're six, and
you're shooting for tens and that's just not fair to
them or to you. So what are you going to
(42:07):
do about it?
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Right?
Speaker 4 (42:08):
Like? That?
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Would that be well received by a man.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Do you think one percent if it's not well received,
he's clearly he's insecure. But if it's not well received,
then I guess you guys weren't that good of friends
to begin with. That's true, because guys are We're so
direct with each other. I mean, this is this is
a kind of a bad example because we were much younger.
But like, I've gotten into physical altercations with friends in
high school and ten minutes later you're like, hey, man,
(42:32):
I'm sorry, like you just punched each other in the face.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Yeah, but what would happen if this guy went home
and killed himself. No, don't worry. Like, would you be like,
oh my god, it's my fault.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
I'd probably for a little bit, But then I'd be like,
if that's what sent him over.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
Then it's not just you.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah, I mean the fact is, I think this guy
knows exactly what he's doing and he's getting exactly what
he wants, which is fear of intimacy will never be
shattered for him, and kind of he's just living life
like he thinks he deserves.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
Yeah, I've done it on a much smaller, fat or
less uglier skip. Sure, Well, like you you, you are yourself.
It's your self prophecy of like, I'm gonna date this
girl and I know she's not right for me. I
like the way she looks and it feels certain things
for me, but I'm just gonna do it because it
makes me right. Look and I and then I'm like,
see it didn't work out.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Yeah, yeah, so we get to have you. You knew,
I know, I know, all right, So I say, you
know what I think you should do? Just not be
friends with him anymore, because really should he be friends
with this guy? The guy sounds nuts.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Talk to him and that thing. I gets it. He's
a little pussy about it, and move on.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Well, manly advice from someone even more manly than me.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
I was a straight guy in me coming out. Shut up.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
That was Barry's strength.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
Good for you one more so. Heys a big fan
and professional cringe witness.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Oh okay, I don't even know what that is, but
I like it.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
It sounds like a spinoff of long or Restue, Yes,
which I love. Here's the deal. I work in marketing
and my coworker, Todd, of course his name is Todd,
is delusional about becoming a stand up comedian.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Oh god, why does everybody have a stand up question?
Speaker 3 (44:22):
I'm mad. Yesterday, during a serious Zoom meeting about layoffs,
Todd decides it's the perfect time crack a joke. I
kind of respect the guy for this. Guys, I guess
I'll have to start charging for my jokes. Oh boy,
anyone want to venmo me? Lisa is all caps dead
fucking silence. One client straight up left the call, which
(44:48):
is great.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
It's her favorite sentence in the world.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Dad later tells me, I think I really likened the movie.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Oh no, no no.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
And now he's talking about quitting his job to do
comedy full time. Do I tell him he's a to
ruin his life or just let him crash and burn?
Help Ethan Chicago.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
I think he should let him crash and burn, because
watching comic who believes himself believes in himself undeservedly is
hysterical and that he will end up on drugs and
the alcohol, but then end up in like an AA
meeting and become a speaker at the meetings and start
to make people laugh. So either way, it's going to
be like a funny outcome. But like I'd rather he
(45:28):
quit than stay on at the company, and then I
would have to suffer through him in these Zoom meetings. Dude,
Todd's needs to be put out of his misery.
Speaker 3 (45:37):
Shoot him in the street.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
I'm like, I just don't like it. I don't Also, like,
how does somebody Have you ever had that too? Where
you observe someone not doing well on stage like Todd
clearly bombed in the Zoom and like they come off
and they think they did well.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Have you ever seen that?
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Awful?
Speaker 3 (45:58):
The thing that drives me the most is like everyone
does their thing and you come off stage and whatever,
it's good or it's whatever. No one really cares. Right
amongst comics, at least right, the worst type of guy
is someone who goes up there, doesn't do well and
then has to do like a post game breakdown with
you of why things didn't go well, of like he
(46:20):
becomes a sports analyst and he's like, you know that
other joke, I really used to do this punch, They
explain to you why he did poorly.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Yeah, but at least he's admitting he did poorly.
Speaker 3 (46:30):
Right, But even some of the stuff where he's like,
I feel like that did really well and I'd like,
I don't think it did, think it did?
Speaker 2 (46:36):
You know what I used to do When people do that,
I'd go, were we were you in the room? Yeah,
because I didn't hear shit, like I didn't hear any
laughter coming out of that audience, So that, to me,
that delusion is rough.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Can I tell you this is this is fun. It's
one of the funnier moments for me. Between we talk
about our friend Bo. We were coming out of the pandemic,
no one had done comedy for five months, and Oh
at the time was beyond delusional about his everything. Right.
He was four hundred pounds and like, dude, chicks, chicks
(47:08):
loved me like. He was like, I don't know these girls.
She's kind of fat. I'm like, you're a Normanus, right
he was, Yeah, yeah, right. He texted me the night
before like one of our first shows coming out of
the pandemic. He goes, I wrote forty five minutes of
new ship, all girl, all new It's gonna be great.
In my head, I go, how does he know it's
gonna do well? Like an audience he went up and
(47:32):
ate o'cock and I fucking laughed so hard that he
came off stage. He was like, well, I was like, yeah, man, yeah,
how dare you have delusion?
Speaker 2 (47:41):
I know, I know it was one of.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
The fuck it's warms my heart thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
But I mean there's one thing I don't only I
don't mind that as much because he's delusional, but he
learned his lesson. Yeah, at least he tried something.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
But the ones who freaking come off and think they
killed and they did, like Todd on the Zoom or
the ones who, by the way, they come off, they bomb,
they bomb, they come off and then they're like that
audience sucked. It's like, no, you sucked. How come they
laughed at everybody else? So, like, I that's a delusion
(48:15):
to me. It's like not taking ownership that it's your fault.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
Yeah, I've seen I mean we I think we saw.
We saw some guy eat a dick on stage and
he was waiting after and like handing out his card
like all right, well, I mean.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
Balls, that's guts, Like I couldn't face someone. No, no, Well,
we're more realistic. We get our level, we get what's
going on, we know what's happening. We know we pretty
much tricked Elvis durant, and it's giving us a show,
like basically, we know, we know, So what was what
do you want to know? Should he shatter his dreams?
Speaker 3 (48:50):
Should he tell him?
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Now he's a coworker. Co workers aren't friends, He's not
going to listen. And also again I think unless the
steaks are enormously dangerous of where you're like, oh my god,
like this guy is going to lose the house, I say,
just on him fucking learn because ps they're gonna learn eventually. Anyway,
(49:12):
they have to learn because the audience will tell you
how fucking horrible you are. Todd, no offense, Todd, fuck.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
You, Todd. Yeah, unless I'm gonna kill you.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
I hate him so much. Oh my god, this has
been good. Nack, what do you think do you think
we've helped at least one of the four people today?
Speaker 3 (49:30):
I think we've helped everyone, especially.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
Our see how delusional he is. See Celia, do you
feel helped?
Speaker 4 (49:38):
No?
Speaker 2 (49:38):
She doesn't see this is her problem. This is the problem.
She feeds into our delusion by agreeing with us. So
you're helping no one, Celia. You button push him Todd.
Speaker 4 (50:00):
In turn, we are all helping each other.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
I mean, I grow up.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
Oh my god, we're going too long. I love that
weird delusion enough to think this podcast is always going
to be forty three minutes. I don't care. I don't care.
Everybody's thrilled with it. That drilled. They're gonna be listen
for an.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
Hour and so followers because of this podcast.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
I have three hundred and twelve top Tampa, Florida. It
used to be called the Lease's Fuck Up Time, but
since I'm inarguably perfect delusional, then we just switched it
till we're just saying goodbye. So seriously, send us a letter.
We'd love to help you. And I think we've killed
it today. What do you think? Nick?
Speaker 3 (50:44):
I think pretty good?
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Use you you really aren't. That's good you keep me
in check. Swaitey. Yeah, so once again you can find
me on Instagram at least lambinelli. Nick, Where can they
find you?
Speaker 3 (50:59):
Nick? Gobes like the mouthwash yes.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
With an on the end, make sense, just like I
don't say that and Nick scopes on all the applications
and Nick uh tell us what you need to tell us.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
All right, listen, guys, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
Be sure the least sincere. Thank you every single week.
It's like, remember that guy who said he's fifty year
old and he's going to be a star. That's not you.
Just like, hey, thanks for listening. Man, like, put a
little it, put a little gis on it.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
Thanks for listening. Guys, be sure.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
God it's a commercial. Okay, no, thanks, glad you didn't listen.
Speaker 3 (51:49):
Go ahead, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
We hate you. Don't listen anymore.
Speaker 3 (51:59):
Your question at Shrink This Show at gmail dot com.
That is shrink this Show at gmail dot com. Make
sure to follow me on socialism. By me, I mean
Lisa Lampinelli. Yeah, we already said that in Nick Scopes
on Instagram. And make sure to listen to the Shrink
This to Shrink This on your iHeartRadio app or wherever
the hell we get the podcast.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
So listen accept the iHeartRadio app. That's the one that
rules is bo
Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it
all and her words come from her head, her heart,
and often out of her ass. This podcast should not
be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a
huge strain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These You need help, You're the problems.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Come on, come down.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Go lamb take a pill. I think you're insane. Do
what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Yeah,
it's Lisa Lambinelli here. We're listening to Shrink This with
(00:54):
Lisa Lampinelli the podcast. We have no delusions about right neck,
that's right. We know we have four listeners and they're
all related to me and you, and we don't dilute
ourselves into thinking where big shots are famous.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
We know Okay, I.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Know my level and I get it. Okay, you'll leave
this damn business called show and they forget gen they
replace you immediately. But I accept it, and that's okay.
But if you are listening, thanks for sticking with me.
And Who my co host who.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Nick on Instagram and tiktoks.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
And read and Grinder.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Right, Celia, and only fans.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, only fans. I'm trying to think. He says he
has an enormous long I've never seen you.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Did you said you have people are advocated for me,
I have references.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Well, the thing is you've said it because I remember
debating you and our other two straight friends, Bo and Andrew,
and I bet. I had bet that Andrew is the
most endowed, but you three said you've compared them. So
if you did some pandemic texting of your thing, yeah,
(02:13):
it does take boredom to do that to other guys.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Bo vouched for me. He's my pr person.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
But Bo's like an Irish donkey with a little.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Dick, got the Irish curse.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Yeah, just saying and Ginsburg. Let's just leave it at
that now. But that reason why we bring up your
penis today is we're discussing the state of mind that
is delusional because I don't know, dude, I've been getting
so mad at people lately. First of all, let's just
admit Lisa Lampinelli, if you want some advice from her,
(02:44):
send us a LETOIR or maybe a carryer pigeon or
an email to shrink this show at gmail dot com
that shrink this show at gmail dot com, and we'll
try to help sort of and make fun of you probably,
let's be honest, but it's been I'm gonnap lately. That
has been really bothering me how difficult my life is
(03:04):
because I'm the smartest person I've ever met. Do you
know the burden of knowing more than everyone else in
your friend group? Because I can't be friends with my
age because they say things like, no, we've got a
nice group of cool gowns to get together. No, you're
sixty three sixty four like me, you are not. I
don't want to meet your cool goals. I want to
(03:25):
hang around with the thirty year olds and the forty
year olds because I'm mad cool or I'm I delusional,
I don't know, but I don't care. So the problem
with being older and having more experience than most of
your people are that you quote think you no more,
but and you definitely have more life experience. So I'm
forever confronted with people in my life and just in
(03:45):
the media who I feel are delusional and think they're
good enough at something that they should pursue it you're not,
or that their haircut makes them look better. It doesn't,
or that they have enough money for that big trip
to Bermida. You don't. And that's not a country. I
just combined two countries and said that one. I know
(04:07):
the advice. I know that I want to say to them.
First of all, that haircut makes your face look even
fucking fatter. Second of all, you can't afford the trip,
you stupid cunt. You got nothing in the bank, But
you can't say this stuff. So every day I am
a heaping pile of steaming feelings and emotions. Mother's cut.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
That's Dancing with the Star. So that's Dancing with the
Stars theme song.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Absolutely well, because that's where we get to my delusion,
which is, I think at eighty years old, when I
wake up in seventeen years, I'll be asked to be
Undancing with the Stars and be the world's oldest winner.
So you know, we all have our delusions. Mine's harmless
because chances are all be dead by then and it
won't even matter. But that is my little delusion. So anyway,
(05:04):
thank god it wasn't something else, some other weird ring.
Of course she did.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
She loves sell ya.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
I know we like cell Ya. We made you a
real Italian. So, Nick, do you have delusional people in
your life? See, I have a feeling I'm bothered more
by their delusions because I wasn't allowed to be delusional
as a kid. I wasn't allowed to be delusional and
think I was too much. Oh, don't get too big
(05:35):
for your breeches. Don't think you got anything special, whether
it's by society or by relatives or teachers. And I
think I had it like knocked out of me at
a young age that I'm like, no, I know my level.
I know like how unfamous or famous I am. I
know how what areas I have talent? And so I
am so judge you with people who I feel misjudged
(05:57):
their level. Right, what do you think?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I don't have anyone really in my life who is
that delusional? I think, I really don't. I The only
time I do, you know, I say I'm unbothered. The
only time I have gotten upset is with comedy. That's
it would stand up if it was like someone who's
at all at the same level, but they think they
should be like wherever, there's where I get like fuck you,
(06:25):
Like that's that's where I get annoyed and get mad
and I take it all on, but outside of it,
I've almost it's not delusion. I've been the opposite in
my whole life of like just talking myself out of
things and being.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Like, oh, I'm so, You're the opposite.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Complete opposite. And I have admired people who had the
confidence of like, like, the best example I could give,
I'll never forget this is when I was in high school.
I was like fourteen or fifteen. I met my good friend,
my now best friend, Anthony. Right, We're talking about football
and playing the sport whatever, and I mentioned a guy.
You guys won't know this, ray Lewis, and all the
(07:01):
gays and women listening, they won't understand. Okay, ray Lewis
one of the best linebackers ever in the history of
the NFL.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Oh sounds hot, very hot, hot black man.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
And I was talking to Anthony and he was I
was like, dude. I was like, I was like, do
you think you could block ray Lewis? And he immediately goes, yeah,
no problem, and he goes, I die, but I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I was like, Okay, he died though.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
But he's like, no, I'll knock him out. That's what
he said. And I was like, wow, does he have
so much like I'm like nervous about everything. I was like,
I admire this guy.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I do too, Like I admire it, but also I
admire it because he was realistic about it. He was like,
I would be killed, but I'd still do it right.
But people who'll be like I could get like a
serve off of it. I could hit Serena's serve. No,
you can't. I know you were number one in your
high school in LA and you went to maybe college
(07:51):
for tennis on this tennis scholarship. But there's no way
you're getting one point off her.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
No, not, what was one hundred and twenty miles an hour?
Those serves are.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yeah, So I was just like, eh, and it's just
like I don't. But here's my problem. The reason I
want to do an episode is that it bothers me
to an extreme degree that is disproportionate. Like I literally
feel like I'm flaming inside. I'm just like, I don't
make me hate you by your unfounded belief in yourself. Yes,
(08:22):
you know, like, and then it bothers me actually makes
me just as furious, which I think is a good
sign of somebody who has enormous talent but doesn't see it.
I get furious at them because I have some students
at the conservatory that I teach comedy to and they
have imposter syndrome, which, by the way, I can't relate
to at all. I always again, because I didn't believe
(08:43):
in myself more than I thought I should. I don't
think I'm an imposter in the areas that I was
good at, and those areas are very small. They are
what do you call that? Parallel parking, stand up and
just driving. No, it's terrible. That not good and driving itself.
(09:06):
So if you have three Oh, I'm a good typist too.
I'm one hundred and two miles per minute whatever it is,
minute hundred and two words a minute. So I have
those four talents, I would not ever be an impostor.
I think I'm an impostor. Oh no, I can't type
that fast. Yeah he fucking can, clam I could squeeze
into any space. Parallel parking, why, like, it's fine. I
(09:27):
know you've witnessed my parking prowess.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Take a fuck it, we're doing it.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
So I get annoyed with the people who have imposter
syndrome when they're actually so good. We have to do
in an episode of imposter Syndrome and bring in one
of the students who feels he's not good even though
he's getting cast in every play is the lead. I'm like,
start believing yourself, you little homo. I don't even know
if he's slap your face, but yeah, I think that
(09:57):
it bothers me to an extraordinary degree. That's just too much.
It shouldn't. It should be like where my shrink is, Like,
you know, she's British, so she talks all classy, so
she's like, just notice when it's triggering you and look
at it and then let it go. And she like
does a nice thing with her fingers, like very yeah,
(10:17):
very fluttery hands. So then just let it go. And
I just go, yeah, but how like what's the procedure
of letting go? Like yeah, and then she starts yelling
at me in a British voice but it's GLASSYU but like, yeah,
they like that word over there. I enjoy it, So
I don't know, it shouldn't bother me as much. But like,
(10:40):
also is their delusion. First of all, it all comes
from judgment, because I'm judging that they first of all,
are doing these things that they shouldn't believe in themselves for.
So if you're getting the haircut that will make your
face look thin, and you think it does, why do
I care? So judgment it's always bad. Like if somebody's
(11:02):
going to look at a reception, no like a venue
for like a big fiftieth anniversary and they can't afford it,
why do I care? It's because I'm it. I think
it all starts because I'm just very judgy, and wee're
taught as comics. That's how it's funny when you're a
judgy bitch. You know that's it's funny on stage, But
(11:23):
in real life it's not cool to like shake someone,
take them by the shoulders and slap them silly and
go you delusional twat you don't have a pot to
piss in, or stupid bitch, you just wasted two hundred
dollars on that haircut and you look like fucking Shaggy
from Scooby Doo but fat Like stop, Yeah, Like I
(11:46):
wonder why the judgment. It's just I have. That's my
thing I have to work on because I really want
to help people, even jokally on the show or like
in real life, it doesn't help to like want to
shake them all the time. I think it's okay to
want to shake them all the time, but it has
to be where you don't just explode. Are you fucking
delusional or what? That's a good way to lose friends,
(12:08):
I would think, I mean I have, And there's all
those sayings like, I mean, I get it. Fortune favors
the bold, because honestly, I think it was Obama who
said something like, you know, when he got to the top,
it was finally like you never realize how many mediocre
people are at the top just because they believe in themselves.
And whereas he was not mediocre in the least, like
(12:31):
he actually earned his place. But it's just like, oh,
then you see all these people in these positions of
power that just their dumb ass belief in themselves has
made them successful. I just watched last night somebody was
this black creator on TikTok was just talking about j
Lo and how she goes. This isn't a hate j
(12:52):
Lo post. It's a for someone who doesn't sing the best,
dance the best, or act the best, certainly has believed
in herself enough to make delusion her superpower. So the
belief in oneself as I can be the best kind
of outweighs the actual talent.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I think. So do you think here's a question for you.
Do you think that in order to make it in
show business especially, you need to have some sort of
delusion like do you think you need to have a
little time.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I don't know, delusion that you're gonna be the one
who breaks through?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah, Like just yeah, I feel like everyone who has
made it, like there may be some people who think
they are pieces of shouldn't make it through, you know
what I mean the whole time, But like I feel
like you gotta have some like a little bit of
fakety and make it of like I'm gonna I'm the
fucking best that's ever.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I mean I always was like I'm the fucking best, right,
But I was a delusion. I just was. But that's
what's nuts about it, is like you have to believe
in yourself so strongly, so where like say, Jlo, this
will be the most complimentary thing she's ever heard about herself.
Jlo is the Lisa Lampinelli of music. She had a
(14:09):
certain amount of talent and then she worked it into
something bigger. Yeah, same, But it's like, does I think
I think we all have to have a certain little, weird,
delusional belief that the business will take us in. But
I wonder if it's like delusion in our own level
(14:31):
of talent. I don't think is that helpful or our
level of whatever it is?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Yeah, I feel like you did. I guess the question
is like what toe is like having a lot of
self confidence into delusion, Like when do you cross the.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Line when I think when you don't have when you're
when you're rotten checks your ass can't have no because
it's just like you're kind of like bombing at your
you know when it used to exist your Carolines audition consistently, yeah,
you know, or you're kind of in the business for
thirty years. But there's exceptions to that too. I was
(15:06):
gonna say thirty years and don't have TV credits yet,
But there's exceptions. They're Jessica Curson, who's usually popular and
famous now but had stuck with it a lot longer
than I ever would have without any fame, right, and
she didn't have it easy at all, and it's like,
oh good, her time's finally come. And remember that story,
like Lewis Black started at Yale when he was eighteen
(15:28):
and didn't make it till he was fifty. On the
Daily Show, there's no way I could have hung for
thirty two years and not wanted to just like eat
a gun and quit. And also, you're a Yale guy,
You're smart. So he had to have probably profound belief
in himself. But his belief and Jessica's is backed up
by talent. I think it's like, at the end of
(15:50):
the day, I'd rather be fifty percent hard work, fifty
percent talent than ninety percent talent ten percent hard work
because you're not. I don't think you're gonna make it
that way. That'd be rare.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Yeah, I just don't know. I mean, there's so many
examples of like, of course I'm gonna use the fucking
Gonzo examples. But of course Chaz commentary right, like getting all,
he's almost forty years old, he's on unemployment, he's an
actor quote unquote. He's getting offers for a Bronx tale
in this but they don't want him to act in it,
and he's like no, he's turning down half a million,
a million whatever. And then finally meets de Niro, he
(16:25):
gets the money the movie's made, right, like to hold
out like that or I even I can't pronounce his
last name, but you've met him dominic, uncle j oh,
I love him uncle gently right. Apparently, I mean he
was in the Godfather, but apparently before Sopranos he was
in like a one bedroom like you know, as old
as that. He was whatever the hell he was when
(16:45):
Sopranos started, and then he got Sopranos, and then I.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Know, I how about Abe Fragoda, Bundy Miller and Fish fame.
I once so I'm waiting for a bus and I
was like, Fragoda was in The Godfather. He was, you
know Clemenza, I think, or whatever, one.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
The big ears dude. Yeah, I think he's the security
guy or whatever they kill Torio.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
No, No, he's like a big star, one of the
big stars of The Godfather. Yeah, not maybe not Clemensa,
but the other guy in the scene of leave the Gun,
Take the Connolly's. So he's like the one who's cooking
the sauce. Everything got it. But he a two huge series,
which is Barney Miller and Fish, which is his own show.
It's all in the eighties, and I love he's not
(17:27):
He probably has enough money, but he's still taking the bus. Yeah,
like they said, Letterman took the subway. Sure, this isn't
an episode on cheapness, but.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Part of me is like took the sixth train.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I know, but like part of me is like, do
you not know your level that you shouldn't be doing that?
I don't get no. I think also when you're kind
of an able to go to probably born during the
Great Depression, that you're just like, fuck it, I'm taking
the bus.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I remember, because I was at the time I saw him,
I was in a car that was being driven, you know,
to somewhere. So it was a nice car, and I
was like, how is it that I'm in a nicer
car than the fucking guy from The Godfather?
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
You know so. But I think it's really hard to
manage friendships with this stuff because you just go to,
oh my god, I'm being such a judge bitch, and
then oh I hate that about myself, And it never
really gets solved because it's like I tell somebody or
I hear someone's hair brain scheme, and then I'm like great,
(18:33):
and then I'm like I get off the phone, I'm like,
I hate them. They're such fucking delusional assholes. And then
I'm like, oh, I hate that about myself, but I
hate them. So you never really get to the how
do we solve this? Which is lighting up on yourself
for having judgment, because we all have judgment. It's a
survival skill. And then just sort of like my shrink says,
with their cute little fluttery fingers, let it go, but
(18:56):
I still need tools.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Let it go.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah, a god like would be great. I I thought
I was a good singer, then I would have a delusion.
Yet I know I can carry a tune.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I don't know you can match pitch.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
You know, nick, I really can. Girl. Me and Cynthia
Rivo hang out all the time with our big fake nails. Now,
don't think she's illusional? Of is that that fucking septum
piercing looks good? That's some ship. But I once did
hear a quote queer creator talk about that that is
(19:33):
a coded thing. It's a signal, Like a lot of
queer people wear the septim ring as a signal to
others of their person personality and what their values are.
So I get it that.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
You could shut listen.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I'm trying to talk serious. I see, I'm delusional for
thinking you could be on a show with me raise
to this level, but even to the extent of like
the whole impost thing drives me nuts too, because I
even read a quote from like Lucia Ball, like inarguably
one of the greatest comic minds ever, and she the
(20:10):
quote was literally, I'm not funny, I'm just brave, Like
that's bullshit, Like she's fucking funny. So I think it's
finding that fine line. And also it's it's acknowledging that
we as the observer, don't know everything, because as you know,
I think I know everything. But I remember I had
a relative who was in the hospital and he was like,
(20:32):
you know, definitely overweight, and I said, if that fucking
guy doesn't have diabetes, I'll eat my hat. Well guess what,
my fucking hat tasted good because he didn't. And I
was like, yeah, just I'm very very hot sauce. It
was that stuff that Vulcan hot sauce stuff. Celia tried
(20:53):
to poison you with habinciero, And so I was like, oh, wait,
he doesn't have diabetes. I was there for the blood test.
I guess I don't know everything, So maybe it's just
acknowledging that maybe I don't know everything about these people's talent,
their savings plan, who's paying for the event, who how
(21:14):
they want their face to look, whatever. But I really
hesitate to give opinions because it's always going to be
bad about what they ask. Am I talented? I say
you're nothing special? Is that bad? If they say does
my face look thinner? When am I supposed to say? Oh,
I hope, I'm glad you think so? They see right through.
(21:35):
So I think it's basically either except that I'm always right,
or just let it good. It's funny when they tell
you got a producer and they're twenty two and they
don't know shit. I thought they'd be a boss and
they let I'm just kidding. She is our boss. I'm
(21:56):
a little fearful of Celia because I'm like, we're gonna
be late, and she's like, no problem. I'm like, oh, good, mom,
he's not mad, And then I remember she's twenty two.
What the fuck do I care? Anyway? Yeah, you don't
have the delusion. You're a fucking boss, Celia.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
Oh I trust me, I do not, okay, Goad, No,
we love you each other, I know.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Kind of in her we do. I like that we
welcome here. And Cilia it needs her fucking head examined too,
because I said to her she looks nice today. She
don't say thank you. Instead, my pants are so big
she can't take a cop I said, I said, only
have pants on the fit because you you've lost weight
and you'll know they're even bigger and you hold them
(22:37):
out really big, doll, you're worse in the last one.
Then why are you delusional enough that you're that you
haven't earned yourself some pants that are the right size.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
No, that's not it. I just can't find any that
like fit me perfectly.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
But then nothing's ever gonna fit anyone perfectly. You've got
to settle like Nick has for all the pussy he's
ever gotten. There's no way to shine.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Frankly, I think I'm like between sizes, so I'm trying
to like, wait a second, and then go I agree.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
No, I agree because I hate wasting money too.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want to waste
money on like on clothes that i'll wear once or
they just like don't.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
They're not good quality. I am so on your side
about that. It does. He's in between yah. Yeah. But
my favorite was when Nick, that fat bastard, he says
to me last week, you want to buy my Bloomingdale's
gift code off of me? None of the clothes fit,
and I'm like, I'll buy that ship from you. I'll
(23:37):
go to bloomingdale.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
I was trying on clothes and I.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Was like, it's just Bloomingdale's is for a slim fit
and all that for men. But you're You're a guy
who's a trainer in quotes, you have musculature.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
I do.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
So that's why it's not gonna you know, the I'm.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Gonna go buy those bar Bell jeans at that hot
black guy you know.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah, Well, they're not in advertisers. I don't mention them.
Not for us me.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
They are because I'm famous.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
We're talking about being delusional. Nick just said he's famous,
which is a great intro to that. Nick, go ahead,
who do we hear from this week?
Speaker 3 (24:22):
All right?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
And by the way, if you have a question, email
to shrink this show at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
How should I read this with the voice?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I don't know. I think you should just improvise it
as you go along.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
This guy's name is Mike, so we'll figure it out.
I can't believe, or Lisa, I can't believe I'm actually
writing to you.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I can't either the audacity. See white straight men, they've
got the fucking audacity.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
These fuckers. God, I wish you would it were for
something normal, But here we are. My name is Mike,
I'm thirty seven, and I live in Tampa.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Florida with my wife Tampalm.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Should I say my influencer?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Oh? Eve, is everyone an influencer? Money?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
I want to stop reading this letter, but anyway, I
hate her. She's convinced she's going to be an influencer.
I'm like, oh, let me post cute outfits on Instagram. Influencer.
More like, I'm quitting my job to be a full
time content creator influencer. She's got three hundred and twelve fars.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Oh that's worse than Nick.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Put a perfect number, and half of them are pots.
She spends hours all caps taking selfies, filming makeup tutorials
that nobody watches, and talking about how brands are going
to start reaching out any day now. Meanwhile, I'm the
one paying the rent. I don't want to crush her jeams.
(25:47):
But at what point do I sit her down and
give her reality check or do I just let her
ride this out until reality smacks are in the face,
or you will Mike help.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Well, here's the deal. I had an idea for a
TV show years ago that I think is still a
great idea. No one ever, I don't even think I
pitched it, but it's such a good idea. It was
called dream Killer, and it was where I would go
and I would listen to comics, singers, watch dancers, actors.
(26:20):
In the first fifteen minutes of the show would be
you kill their dream. You tell them you're awful, You're
not going to make it. But the good news is
the show is about helping you find what your real
dream is and finding that and so digging deep finding
what They would get the same kind of emotional hit
(26:41):
off what they did were doing, but it was really
something they were good at. So this bitch needs dream Killer.
I think that's a great show idea.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Ye, it's great. I think it's about how you and
I met pretty much pretty much.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
So she is delusional, but there are ways he can help,
I think, but not in the codependent pay for her
forever a way, because I don't think that's healthy. I
don't mind if a broad's making money, but it should
be equal, you know. So here's what I feel. He
(27:14):
could kindly say, Look, they're social media experts out there.
Let me buy you for your birthday a seminar for
six months of coaching with a social media person who
will really help you have this thing take off, because
quote brands don't just find you like, that's not a thing.
You're not on TV. They didn't see you hosting the
(27:36):
fucking Critics Choice and go, oh my god, I need
her for my makeup line. The bitch has three hundred
twelve followers who aren't real. So I think there's a
way you can support the dream to an extent that
you won't resent that person later. But if he keeps
paying for everything, I mean, I don't care how rich
I am. I would not want to support anyone fully
(27:59):
unless they're under eighteen. Yeah what do you think?
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah that's true. Children can have dreams.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Yeah, let's kill them after eighteen, not the dreams, the children.
Let's just kill the children.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Yeah on the head.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, all done.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
But uh, this is tough because it's your it's your wife,
it's a romantic partner.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
See, I forget that part. I'm just like about being
real with everybody.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
No, like I get it, but like this is a
guy who asked it, like he's.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You've got to try and get his dick quid every
now and again.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Yeah, and it's like, but isn't that.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Even more of a reason to be like honey? I mean, okay,
would you Celia, you're delusional? Can I ask you that?
Tell me if this would offend you? Honey? Oh my god,
I see how much you love, you know, growing your
following and taking pictures and posting videos. I think you
have a really knack for it, But I think you
can only get so far by doing it on your own.
(28:55):
I think what would you say if kind of we
got a little help and help, But you need to
have it take off because I don't think brand I've
been doing some reading and doesn't seem like brands just
find you. You have to sort of put yourself out there,
So why don't we get you some tools to do
that most effectively?
Speaker 4 (29:11):
I think that's the best way to handle it.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Especially you were supposed to play act as the wife.
Oh you were supposed to get a cute voice on
and just be like, oh my man, honey, yes, let
me gobble your knob. But you know something like that.
I mean, but no, okay, Nick takeover, you're the life. No,
but Celia, it is that offensive. I think that's really loving.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
I think it would be easy to take anything as
offensive that isn't support or maybe I'm just really sensitive.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
No, no, no, you're right, and those bitches have to
be checked. Yeah, because they were brought up in that
world of the you're so delicate and you can't handle anything,
and it's not doing them any favors because life is
eventually going to hand you something you have to handle.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
And something way bigger too.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
It's going to be a death, it's going to be
somebody to get sick. It's going to be having to
date a nick. I mean, life is not kind to do.
So yeah, it's I think if someone's that sensitive, that's
the thing to look at. It's like, wow, if you're
taking offense at me offering to help you with this,
then why don't we talk about that?
Speaker 4 (30:15):
And also the bar is like in hell for men,
So the fact that he's willing to help like that,
that shows a lot. I think most husbands these days
would probably just like go off on them and then
say good red ends.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah yeah, I mean I I think also you have
to in your heart believe the person who you're dealing
with has something to offer, you know, Like I remember
when my niece started her podcast, and again like they
weren't spending any money. They had like forty dollars microphones.
They were just doing it for fun. But I think
(30:51):
like she was a graduate from I think she had
masters from BU and TV writing. She already knew how
to do improv and she funny, and so it was like, oh,
no risk, let's see if it takes off. But I
think if her husband had not seen a little of
the ability, he would have been like, oh, you know,
it's a cute hobby, which I get. I don't mind
(31:13):
people having cute hobbies. I love somebody has a hobby
like knit, Why don't you go knit? Be a knitter?
That's what I think. Maybe we should call her and
say just nit bitch, Yeah what no? So I think
that you're right. The thing that has to be addressed
first is like, WHOA, you're taking offense me trying to
(31:33):
give you a gift of help. That's maybe you got
to look inside at how delicate your nervous system is
that you can't even handle like that. You don't know everything.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Yet, And at that point that could just be like insecurity,
being like I can't do this either, like right, projecting right.
If you get mad at someone for telling like trying
to help you, that just means you don't think.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
You can do it yourself, that's true, and honestly, who
can really do all of it by themselves? He gets
to a certain point where you're like, like, even I
saw this girl I follow as a social media consultant,
like she teach how a girl following. I've never cared
about social media because I'm just not in that world,
but partly was like at my age, I would like
learn that. Yeah, like what would I be like, Oh no,
(32:16):
I know it all. I don't know shit.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
The only I'm never taking advice on is comedy and
parallel parking. Nobody can do that like I can. All right,
so listen, what's his name? Mike?
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Mike?
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Tell your wife you'll help her, but stop paying all
the bills and if she doesn't kick the clamout. I
think that's what Sylia says to all right, what's the
next letter.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Dear Lisa. My friend just turned fifty, and he told
me that he's going to return to acting, oh boy,
after they're taking fifteen years off. But this time, he
says he's going to become the star he always knew.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Yeah, because so many stars blossom at fifty.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
He's getting new headshots.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
He signed up for acting classes and asked me if
I knew any agents. Oh boy, when he was an actor,
he did mostly extra work and there's nothing special about him.
Do I tell him? I think he's wasting his time
and money. Thanks Rob from New York.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Let's just put it this way, Rob, your butt banded buddy. Yeah,
those shots he's getting better be shots of him given
head because that's the only way he's making money. No,
that's a rough one, because the fifty year old actor.
I have actually met people who after retirement decided to
(33:37):
act and then they get like all these commercials because
they're real people, they look real, they're older, they're playing
parts in plays that like somebody over fifty plays, So
it does happen like you can work. But the thing
that alarms me in this is the become quote the
star that he's meant to be. I can't. I think
(33:58):
that's delusion. Just knowing how many people had their big
break at over fifty, there's like three, and it probably
isn't going to be him if all he'd done was
his extra work. I think it's great to have it
the beginner's mind of like, hey, I'm going to learn
more acting and like you said, he's going to go
to classes, get headshots. The asking for the agent early
(34:19):
is what tips me off too, because you shouldn't have
an I always said people go like, uh, I need
a manager, and I'd be like, un till you have
a career to manage. You don't need a manager, like
you need the career first. So that may have changed.
I don't know a lot of my students already have
at agents. But also they've been dancing and singing since
they're three. Yeah, so I kind of get like seventeen
(34:41):
years okay, whatever, But dude, someone who makes it out
that their goal is to be a star versus learn
acting and be their best, that that worries me.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Yeah. Two questions. One, when do you think I should
get a manager?
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Never? I know a good one. She's cute, shut up.
And two, I want to know what this guy's going
through that at fifty, like, what did this sweat? There's
a divorce? Did something switch? Like what happened? We'll see
our backstory.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Well, as someone who's done late in life changes, I
think there's nothing wrong with that, just because I don't worry.
I didn't. I noticed when you said that Celia dish
her little I'm twenty two. That ridiculous to change it fifty. No,
I know you did. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Mid life crisis.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
No, there's no. Mid prices is way earlier than that.
Trust me. These men, that's like a forty that's when
the midlife crisis comes in. Sorry, so are.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
You to find like a forty five year old man?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
I don't think this is about dating the undateable? Can
we just what time? Idea? All right, turn off the microphone?
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Body issues will be next week?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Yeah? No, But seriously, I think I don't think there's
anything wrong with noticing what comes up and that oh wow,
acting always did appeal to me. That sounds cute. It's
sounding cute, and doing it is nice to me. But
the I'm going to be the star that I always
thought I should be bring Nathan Lane from from Birdcage.
(36:20):
You know vibe. Oh I never made it. You were
always holding me back. I gave you the best. So
I think I don't think his friend has to say
anything to him. And again, this is the advice I
need to always take because what is the end? He said,
(36:40):
Should I tell him should.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Crush he's wasting his time and money?
Speaker 2 (36:45):
No, because I think you those are the ones you
have to let burn. If he was risking his whole
life savings. If he goes, look, I've decided. And by
the way, I was gonna say, apply to the Ale
School of Drama and or Juliard. He's not getting in anyway,
but say he was like, I'm applying to Joe Smith.
Is Smithy's Joe Smith. He's acting club and it costs
(37:08):
me five hundred thousand dollars and that's all the money
he has. Then a friend I think would step in
and go, dude, how about we take it slow, stick
the tip in as I always say, and just be like,
am I right so? And just take maybe one acting class.
So I think it's cute to like discover hobbies and
things like later and who knows it could take off
(37:29):
and maybe he wasn't at twenty when he was getting
extra work, kind of fully realized as a human, and
now he can actually act, I think his friend. Unless
he's spending a huge amount of money and threatening his
own lifestyle and he's going to lose his house. Let
him tak the class, let him get the dumb shots
of him blowing people. But also when he asks about agents,
(37:53):
that's the that's the point where you can have the
tiny kind voice of reason just go, hey, maybe it's
a little soon for that. I hear people get that
when they're like five years in, So monny, let's just
wait on that. Like that could be I don't think
that's offensive, Like Celia, as an a former actress yourself,
(38:13):
would you take it? Would you take offense if somebody
said maybe it's too soon to think about whatever insert
action step here.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
No, because that like that I need someone to tell
me that, Yeah, okay, yeah, that's not offensive to me.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Yeah, because a lot of the times I think to myself,
you know, I'd make a fucking great mentor of people
going up in this business because I'd be able to
be like, oh, by the way, you know, I think
that would come later it's not judgy. So I just
think like kind of learn from the people's experience who
have had these experiences and be like, okay, so a
couple of years.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Yeah, that's why people network, like right out of college,
because you're trying to talk to people who do what
you want to do or have been doing what you
want to do for a really long time time. Because
that's like where you go for advice. There are people
who have done what you what you want to do before.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Because you can't listen to somebody who hasn't walked in
those shoes already. Like, no one's gonna believe me that
fame is bullshit and solves doesn't solve your problems. Uh
if I'm not famous at some point, you know what
I mean. So it's theoretical advice versus real world advice.
So I think, with this guy I don't know, let
(39:27):
him go, let him not spend his entire savings on
the thing, let him have his little dream. And we
all know in our hearts he's what we call a
loser with a dream. Been there, Yeah, you sure are
all right.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Our next letter, Dear Lisa.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Oh it sounds good.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
My friend Ian is fat and ugly, but he has
money and only day women if she's.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
A nine or a oh no, no no, wh.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Not surprising. He's been single forever. I think he should
lower his standards. Should I tell him that or let
him figure it on his own? Billy from Milwaukee with.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Canty Okay, First of all, the Home of Phonsie. We
think we've talked about the story. I will say we
got a lot of They should stop listening to us
in Milwaukee. That's all I have said. I think what
I don't like about this is Ian's not doing this
because he has high standards and looks. He's doing this
(40:32):
to fulfill being uncomfortable with intimacy and wanting to stay alone.
He basically knows that if he shoots after some girl
who's like a ten and he's like a two point three,
then he's never gonna have to really expose who he
is and be intimate and can just stay safe in
his little fat bubble for the rest of his life.
(40:52):
And from what his best friend sounds like his fat
and ugly bubble. Again, I don't feel the guys dating
trying to date tens for the right reason.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
He's not figuring out anything that's.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
The thing he's never figuring out on his own. I
think there's a gentle way to say this, but I'm
not a guy technically, just emotionally. Nick. If there's a
guy friend that's this delusional and this blocked and stuck,
because that's really what it is. Our guys the type
(41:25):
who would just be like, dude, look at you. You're
a fucking oh really so you'd say you're a fucking
friend group.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
I mean, everyone's honest as fuck, Dude. I'll say things
and make jokes and vice versa, and I'm like, well,
we'll be like, but really you think that's you think
that's why this is happening. We know why, right? You
know what I mean? Like, yeah, we don't pull Guys
don't pull punches really.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
So maybe he should just use the man card then
and be like, hey, you know what, dude, I get
having high standards. We all want to be attractive and
attracted to someone, but you're a six, Like, be nice.
We know he's a two point three, you're six, and
you're shooting for tens and that's just not fair to
them or to you. So what are you going to
(42:07):
do about it?
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Right?
Speaker 4 (42:08):
Like? That?
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Would that be well received by a man.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Do you think one percent if it's not well received,
he's clearly he's insecure. But if it's not well received,
then I guess you guys weren't that good of friends
to begin with. That's true, because guys are We're so
direct with each other. I mean, this is this is
a kind of a bad example because we were much younger.
But like, I've gotten into physical altercations with friends in
high school and ten minutes later you're like, hey, man,
(42:32):
I'm sorry, like you just punched each other in the face.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Yeah, but what would happen if this guy went home
and killed himself. No, don't worry. Like, would you be like,
oh my god, it's my fault.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
I'd probably for a little bit, But then I'd be like,
if that's what sent him over.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
Then it's not just you.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah, I mean the fact is, I think this guy
knows exactly what he's doing and he's getting exactly what
he wants, which is fear of intimacy will never be
shattered for him, and kind of he's just living life
like he thinks he deserves.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
Yeah, I've done it on a much smaller, fat or
less uglier skip. Sure, Well, like you you, you are yourself.
It's your self prophecy of like, I'm gonna date this
girl and I know she's not right for me. I
like the way she looks and it feels certain things
for me, but I'm just gonna do it because it
makes me right. Look and I and then I'm like,
see it didn't work out.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Yeah, yeah, so we get to have you. You knew,
I know, I know, all right, So I say, you
know what I think you should do? Just not be
friends with him anymore, because really should he be friends
with this guy? The guy sounds nuts.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Talk to him and that thing. I gets it. He's
a little pussy about it, and move on.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Well, manly advice from someone even more manly than me.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
I was a straight guy in me coming out. Shut up.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
That was Barry's strength.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
Good for you one more so. Heys a big fan
and professional cringe witness.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Oh okay, I don't even know what that is, but
I like it.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
It sounds like a spinoff of long or Restue, Yes,
which I love. Here's the deal. I work in marketing
and my coworker, Todd, of course his name is Todd,
is delusional about becoming a stand up comedian.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Oh god, why does everybody have a stand up question?
Speaker 3 (44:22):
I'm mad. Yesterday, during a serious Zoom meeting about layoffs,
Todd decides it's the perfect time crack a joke. I
kind of respect the guy for this. Guys, I guess
I'll have to start charging for my jokes. Oh boy,
anyone want to venmo me? Lisa is all caps dead
fucking silence. One client straight up left the call, which
(44:48):
is great.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
It's her favorite sentence in the world.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Dad later tells me, I think I really likened the movie.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Oh no, no no.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
And now he's talking about quitting his job to do
comedy full time. Do I tell him he's a to
ruin his life or just let him crash and burn?
Help Ethan Chicago.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
I think he should let him crash and burn, because
watching comic who believes himself believes in himself undeservedly is
hysterical and that he will end up on drugs and
the alcohol, but then end up in like an AA
meeting and become a speaker at the meetings and start
to make people laugh. So either way, it's going to
be like a funny outcome. But like I'd rather he
(45:28):
quit than stay on at the company, and then I
would have to suffer through him in these Zoom meetings. Dude,
Todd's needs to be put out of his misery.
Speaker 3 (45:37):
Shoot him in the street.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
I'm like, I just don't like it. I don't Also, like,
how does somebody Have you ever had that too? Where
you observe someone not doing well on stage like Todd
clearly bombed in the Zoom and like they come off
and they think they did well.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Have you ever seen that?
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Awful?
Speaker 3 (45:58):
The thing that drives me the most is like everyone
does their thing and you come off stage and whatever,
it's good or it's whatever. No one really cares. Right
amongst comics, at least right, the worst type of guy
is someone who goes up there, doesn't do well and
then has to do like a post game breakdown with
you of why things didn't go well, of like he
(46:20):
becomes a sports analyst and he's like, you know that
other joke, I really used to do this punch, They
explain to you why he did poorly.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Yeah, but at least he's admitting he did poorly.
Speaker 3 (46:30):
Right, But even some of the stuff where he's like,
I feel like that did really well and I'd like,
I don't think it did, think it did?
Speaker 2 (46:36):
You know what I used to do When people do that,
I'd go, were we were you in the room? Yeah,
because I didn't hear shit, like I didn't hear any
laughter coming out of that audience, So that, to me,
that delusion is rough.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Can I tell you this is this is fun. It's
one of the funnier moments for me. Between we talk
about our friend Bo. We were coming out of the pandemic,
no one had done comedy for five months, and Oh
at the time was beyond delusional about his everything. Right.
He was four hundred pounds and like, dude, chicks, chicks
(47:08):
loved me like. He was like, I don't know these girls.
She's kind of fat. I'm like, you're a Normanus, right
he was, Yeah, yeah, right. He texted me the night
before like one of our first shows coming out of
the pandemic. He goes, I wrote forty five minutes of
new ship, all girl, all new It's gonna be great.
In my head, I go, how does he know it's
gonna do well? Like an audience he went up and
(47:32):
ate o'cock and I fucking laughed so hard that he
came off stage. He was like, well, I was like, yeah, man, yeah,
how dare you have delusion?
Speaker 2 (47:41):
I know, I know it was one of.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
The fuck it's warms my heart thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
But I mean there's one thing I don't only I
don't mind that as much because he's delusional, but he
learned his lesson. Yeah, at least he tried something.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
But the ones who freaking come off and think they
killed and they did, like Todd on the Zoom or
the ones who, by the way, they come off, they bomb,
they bomb, they come off and then they're like that
audience sucked. It's like, no, you sucked. How come they
laughed at everybody else? So, like, I that's a delusion
(48:15):
to me. It's like not taking ownership that it's your fault.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
Yeah, I've seen I mean we I think we saw.
We saw some guy eat a dick on stage and
he was waiting after and like handing out his card
like all right, well, I mean.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
Balls, that's guts, Like I couldn't face someone. No, no, Well,
we're more realistic. We get our level, we get what's
going on, we know what's happening. We know we pretty
much tricked Elvis durant, and it's giving us a show,
like basically, we know, we know, So what was what
do you want to know? Should he shatter his dreams?
Speaker 3 (48:50):
Should he tell him?
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Now he's a coworker. Co workers aren't friends, He's not
going to listen. And also again I think unless the
steaks are enormously dangerous of where you're like, oh my god,
like this guy is going to lose the house, I say,
just on him fucking learn because ps they're gonna learn eventually. Anyway,
(49:12):
they have to learn because the audience will tell you
how fucking horrible you are. Todd, no offense, Todd, fuck.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
You, Todd. Yeah, unless I'm gonna kill you.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
I hate him so much. Oh my god, this has
been good. Nack, what do you think do you think
we've helped at least one of the four people today?
Speaker 3 (49:30):
I think we've helped everyone, especially.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
Our see how delusional he is. See Celia, do you
feel helped?
Speaker 4 (49:38):
No?
Speaker 2 (49:38):
She doesn't see this is her problem. This is the problem.
She feeds into our delusion by agreeing with us. So
you're helping no one, Celia. You button push him Todd.
Speaker 4 (50:00):
In turn, we are all helping each other.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
I mean, I grow up.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
Oh my god, we're going too long. I love that
weird delusion enough to think this podcast is always going
to be forty three minutes. I don't care. I don't care.
Everybody's thrilled with it. That drilled. They're gonna be listen
for an.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
Hour and so followers because of this podcast.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
I have three hundred and twelve top Tampa, Florida. It
used to be called the Lease's Fuck Up Time, but
since I'm inarguably perfect delusional, then we just switched it
till we're just saying goodbye. So seriously, send us a letter.
We'd love to help you. And I think we've killed
it today. What do you think? Nick?
Speaker 3 (50:44):
I think pretty good?
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Use you you really aren't. That's good you keep me
in check. Swaitey. Yeah, so once again you can find
me on Instagram at least lambinelli. Nick, Where can they
find you?
Speaker 3 (50:59):
Nick? Gobes like the mouthwash yes.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
With an on the end, make sense, just like I
don't say that and Nick scopes on all the applications
and Nick uh tell us what you need to tell us.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
All right, listen, guys, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
Be sure the least sincere. Thank you every single week.
It's like, remember that guy who said he's fifty year
old and he's going to be a star. That's not you.
Just like, hey, thanks for listening. Man, like, put a
little it, put a little gis on it.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
Thanks for listening. Guys, be sure.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
God it's a commercial. Okay, no, thanks, glad you didn't listen.
Speaker 3 (51:49):
Go ahead, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
We hate you. Don't listen anymore.
Speaker 3 (51:59):
Your question at Shrink This Show at gmail dot com.
That is shrink this Show at gmail dot com. Make
sure to follow me on socialism. By me, I mean
Lisa Lampinelli. Yeah, we already said that in Nick Scopes
on Instagram. And make sure to listen to the Shrink
This to Shrink This on your iHeartRadio app or wherever
the hell we get the podcast.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
So listen accept the iHeartRadio app. That's the one that
rules is bo
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