November 24, 2020 • 16 mins
Right before Thanksgiving break we break out Butt Hurt to make it feel like the holidays!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
present minute morning show. Oh, come on in, have a
seat with us. It's the fift minute Morning show podcast. Yeah.
(00:24):
How more gay can I sound? I think you can
go gay like a little. So around the room. We've
got Froggy and there's Danielle or straighten ate? What are
you eating? Straighten ate? Oh god? I finished? Uh I
didn't have seconds true seconds of virgils. I had like
one point five. So what are you eating? Straightening? Oh god?
Right now? Yes, I have cards in my hand for butter, okay,
(00:48):
eating butter. And there's Gandhi and there's a Scary I
have carbs in my hand. Scary has a sleepy car
buys look he's been eating morning. And there's Scotty be
with his look leftover is ready to take home from
Virgils so excited. And there's Garrett. And there's Dave Brody
who wishes he had his leftovers right now. Damn it.
(01:09):
Well I told him I'd save him a turkey legs on.
We can't hear. He's got to turn that on himself,
all right, you know what? I want to give Scary credit? Actually,
so Scary did a few minutes ago. He did ask
everybody in the room if there was anything that he
wanted us to He wanted us to be sent to us,
(01:29):
like there's cookies and dub chocolates. I guess Scary hasn't
eaten him all. He did offer to send some to
Brody or to Gandhi and Danyelle and myself. So thank
you Scary for being so kind. We didn't want any,
so you can have the rest. Well no, no, no,
hold on, he wasn't offering. He was offering Scotty be
to ship. He Scary would have done nothing. I used
(01:50):
a service called Scotty Ships. Do you know what tris
me crazy about her? Is any time that he needs
me to ship something, he doesn't ask. He just says, hey,
man shipped us out. Like it's never hey, you please
do this for me. It's always like, hey, I need
these shipped. I'm like, dude, I'm you weren't raised by wolves, Scary.
I don't know where you got that sort of behavior. Daniel,
are you having some technical difficulties? What's going on? No,
(02:12):
I'm fine. Why she couldn't because I was telling Brody
he was trying to talk into his mike, so I
was like, no, no, no, he sounds the book. He
sounded all morning. That's terrible that you could. We can
all pretty much rip on Brody and he can't do
a damn thing about it. Right now, I would the
(02:36):
rip on him when he can defend himself, because that's
where the fun is. That is when it's more fun.
So you were saying, scary us, he just couldn't speak. Yeah,
can we all draw our favorite penis picture? And liked
today if you watched us play our round of match game,
(03:00):
we were drawing penis pictures on our on our answers,
and they none of them really look like any penis
I've ever seen. You've seen a lot of Daniel's was
extra special, foggy, extra special. I threw mine away, but
I'm going to draw another one now, hold on, well,
why this one's gonna be bigger. I just realized my
(03:22):
kids have been coming up and down and this is
on the floor of my porn just laying there. Great,
We're so proud of mommy. I try to draw a
picture for Scotty having sex with his teddy bear. Okay, yes,
so are we playing? But oh my god, and you
(03:48):
made it. One ball is bigger than the other, because
that's generally how it works, Scotty, is that that's how
I always draw a guy with a penis when I
was a kid. I guess I still do. Can you
just move on? But hurt? Let's go come on? Okay, Okay,
how insulting do you want it to get to? Sick? Okay?
(04:16):
Let's start your four years of Scott Who is the
worst person? Period? Oh? My god, that's am I allowed
to pass? No? You can't say yourself? Right? Well? Wait,
hold on, let's let's figure this out. What what is
(04:38):
your definition of the worst person? Uh? And then say
the name? I don't. I don't know, I don't. I
don't think there there's any bad people in this room.
I can't answer that. It doesn't say who's the bad person?
It says who's the worst person? Who's the worst of
the best of the people in the room? Who is
the worst but the worst? Meaning what there's so many
(04:58):
different definitions of worst. Yeah, that's a stupid question. Next question,
what if he names all the best, the best people
he thinks, and then obviously the last person he'll think
it's the worst person. You can't do it. Commit to
the game guys, may it please have another Okay, who
is the outcast of the group? Oh huh, outcast? Just
(05:24):
these sucks. Ask me questions about penises and stuff? Oh
my god, alright, yours needs a little reconstruction. Fine, you
don't want to go hard, Scotty will go soft. He
was the most orgasms in this room. But I'm gonna
(05:44):
go just you know, based on age, Elvis, I'm gonna
women have multiple in a sitting so they could triple
and quadruple up and ground man's planning orgasms. Yeah, you
would know, scary sitting sitting. That's that's something you get
(06:06):
in a restaurant. This game is the most lame version
of about all the good cards? What do you want?
We've done this so many times. Scott doesn't have a
back phone. He's not gonna answer any questions. Something about
cartoon Fine, Elvis. Yes, who is the first person that
would help you to bury a body? Yeah, experience if
(06:30):
Elvis called me. If my phone rang at like two
in the morning and it was Elvis and was Elvis said, Hey,
don't ask any questions, just bring a shovel, garbage bags,
and bleach in a body. Bring a body Scotty. What
body would it be? Whose body would it be? Scotty
in this room? Yeah, you can't answer that. It's I mean,
it's too tough. Almost answered Garrett. It probably would be me.
(06:55):
I think he'd be burying me. Why, I don't know.
You told me to pick someone. I don't. You're like
the last person that we get killed Scotty. Be Ever again,
he's so lay with games. No, Elvis may be very
scaries body. Yeah, I think so too. Bring a big well, Wait,
it depends on what time of year. He's much like
(07:19):
a big crook because shape like that. We've heard. Yeah, gandhi,
who is the most inspirational right now? From um? It's
really hard to answer this with a wiener in the
corner of my screen. Where would you like the winer?
I think the most inspirational is Elvis. I think that
(07:42):
just not that everybody else isn't inspirational, but I think
that I hear the most from him about hope and
about looking forward to things and kind of looking on
the bright side of stuff, more than I hear it
from everybody else. I mean, there's a reason why, because
I talk more than anyone else. Because I don't know
why I'm tired of being the one that talks that
Elvis Duran, you gotta take your name off the T shirt.
Thank you. That's very sweet of you, Gandhi. I appreciate that.
(08:05):
Thank you. Hey, Froggy, can you do me a fever?
So the way your position you're above scary? Can you
just flip that photo and just like just he's not
above scary on everyone's screen, I know, but for me
it's funny. He just dumped on Gandhi's head on my
sc screen. What is that, Scotty? That's my penis belt?
(08:26):
What is that? What was that picture with the food earlier? Yes?
Why do you have a penis belt? You ever go
on Google? And just like I just I googled penis drawings,
They're like all over the place. It looks like fine,
Oh god, Nate, sorry, who should be considered clinically insane?
(08:46):
Scotty d yes, hands yes, hands down. No one in
this room is qualified to come up with that. But
if you're gonna scary, that one's very well drawn. Can
I show you guys a picture to ruin allow for you?
I don't know how many of you ever saw me
post this one so large? Continue it's only going to
(09:11):
sit to this entire fifteen minutes and watch this ship
in the butt hurt game. It's fun. I feel bad
for the people who are listening. They can't see the pictures,
all right, Gandhi, Yeah, who would get picked last for
a team's sport? Brody, only because it has a hurt elbow?
(09:32):
But you have you have like a bad elbow or
something that you had to get figured out because of baseball,
and then you can throw anymore. So I would say, Brody,
it would be I think it would be me. I
was always the kid that was on the C team
and Jim they would always pick girl. Girl. He's left, Brody.
We tried to climb a mountain to go yoga, do yoga,
and you can even climb halfway up the mount. Climbing
a mountain isn't a sport Baseball sports bowling, Yes, I've
(10:01):
never never we talked about scary can't even can't even
put a glove on his hand, in my opinion, and
I've delivered my answer, and hey, this is a problem.
Look at this one, Oh God Jesus, which one are
you who would let you down in a time of need?
(10:26):
She who would let me down at a time of need.
Scary Scary what I thought. I don't think I would.
It depends on what the need. It depends on what
the need is. UM Like, if I needed somebody to
come get me, Scary would definitely show up. But if
I need somebody to help me commit a crime, Scary
would have no no, he's Scary, would not want no
(10:47):
part of it. So it depends on what the need is.
You guys are getting too analytical. You gotta go first impulse,
first impulse, first impulse. Froggy on that question. Scary okay,
almost would help me. He would ask a lot of questions,
but he would help. Yes. Uh, all right, hang on,
(11:09):
this is boring. We've done this like a half dozen times,
the penis pictures. What doesn't we need more? Danielle, you
were so oversexed. It's so funny. I think it's so funny,
all right, Danielle. Yeah, who would you not want to
have sex within this room? Wait, there's a list. There's
like eight of them, one to three, four. You should
(11:32):
ask who I would want to ask. My would be Gandhi. Yeah,
are we are allowed to show these? I mean this
is like poring on our thing. Drawings of peeps. Yeah,
it's gonna We've done all of the good questions. I'm
going through these. Is there another set? Maybe you can
(11:54):
answer the ones that Scotty B didn't want to answer,
like who is the worst person? Period? I would say,
Scotty be for giving that a well, Scotty be like Scotty,
I will say, can sometimes be annoying, Like one day
I threw a piece of trash in a garbage can
where it's supposed to go, and he goes, no, that's
not supposed to go there. Well, No, in my studio here,
(12:18):
there's two big garbage cans. One of them is trash,
one of them is recycling. And then I have a
little trash can, and I try to be nice to
the cleaning people, and I don't load the big one
up with like two little things of garbage. I say,
he just put him in my little can. So he
threw something out in the big can. I took it out.
That's all you did. I'm being courteous, but I threw
trash away in the trash I don't want to go
near you. You know, supposed to be six ft apart here. Okay,
(12:42):
then use your trash can. This is dumb. It is
ended early. I'm out, you know it's it's just Daniel
holding up floppy Penis is a good one minutes. He's
a good one. And we can all answer this. Actually,
(13:04):
can we write down our answers? Yes? Okay, okay, go
what's the question? Who is most likely to look through
your stuff while you're gone? Oh? Okay? Oh they got
trust everyone here except for one. Okay, who's gonna go first?
(13:30):
Just all out together? Yea, all at the same time.
It's like your vibe. I love it ready and say
the name out loud. Starrett Garrett, you know what would
(13:52):
go through everything? You know why because Garrett always knows everything,
Like he tells me stuff and I go And that's
how he knows because he goes through ship. Can I
tell you a little secret? Because people are always like,
how do you know? Because everybody loves to talk. If
you just shut up sometimes and listen, you learn things.
But also you have before you and Greg t when
(14:12):
he was here secretly recorded people when they're talking, which
is super sketchy. You did change my answer tooad I'm
a dickhead. Hey, so tomorrow is our Friday? That mean
we don't do a fifteen minute more to show part.
(14:34):
So this is our last. One of the reasons we
cannot end the week that this this mean, this was awesome,
This is so good. I guarantee my fifteen year old
son will love this. Wait, your son's gonna watch his
mom penises every time we did. Every time I tell
him don't watch, he watches it twice. So this is
(14:55):
the problem. You're fifteen year old and my mother if
it's not up, if this thing is not up by
ten thirty, She's like, Anthony, did you guys do a
fifteen minute show? I'm like, why, I want to watch it?
Watch everyone? We should put your mother on tomorrow. Asked
her what she thought of today? Tomorrow. I want your
(15:17):
mother to draw what she thinks your penis looks like stopping.
I don't want to hear a dig with Scary's mom again.
Come on, we're talking about my mother said hi to her,
took it the wrong way. I'm gonna tell I'm gonna
(15:38):
tell her that we didn't record one today. I'm gonna
call her, tell her, tell her the internet is broken.
I will tell you. I'm so glad this is almost over.
The sun is out. I'm ready to go outside with it.
Over by a minute, already by fifteen minute. Morning show
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
present minute morning show. Oh, come on in, have a
seat with us. It's the fift minute Morning show podcast. Yeah.
(00:24):
How more gay can I sound? I think you can
go gay like a little. So around the room. We've
got Froggy and there's Danielle or straighten ate? What are
you eating? Straighten ate? Oh god? I finished? Uh I
didn't have seconds true seconds of virgils. I had like
one point five. So what are you eating? Straightening? Oh god?
Right now? Yes, I have cards in my hand for butter, okay,
(00:48):
eating butter. And there's Gandhi and there's a Scary I
have carbs in my hand. Scary has a sleepy car
buys look he's been eating morning. And there's Scotty be
with his look leftover is ready to take home from
Virgils so excited. And there's Garrett. And there's Dave Brody
who wishes he had his leftovers right now. Damn it.
(01:09):
Well I told him I'd save him a turkey legs on.
We can't hear. He's got to turn that on himself,
all right, you know what? I want to give Scary credit? Actually,
so Scary did a few minutes ago. He did ask
everybody in the room if there was anything that he
wanted us to He wanted us to be sent to us,
(01:29):
like there's cookies and dub chocolates. I guess Scary hasn't
eaten him all. He did offer to send some to
Brody or to Gandhi and Danyelle and myself. So thank
you Scary for being so kind. We didn't want any,
so you can have the rest. Well no, no, no,
hold on, he wasn't offering. He was offering Scotty be
to ship. He Scary would have done nothing. I used
(01:50):
a service called Scotty Ships. Do you know what tris
me crazy about her? Is any time that he needs
me to ship something, he doesn't ask. He just says, hey,
man shipped us out. Like it's never hey, you please
do this for me. It's always like, hey, I need
these shipped. I'm like, dude, I'm you weren't raised by wolves, Scary.
I don't know where you got that sort of behavior. Daniel,
are you having some technical difficulties? What's going on? No,
(02:12):
I'm fine. Why she couldn't because I was telling Brody
he was trying to talk into his mike, so I
was like, no, no, no, he sounds the book. He
sounded all morning. That's terrible that you could. We can
all pretty much rip on Brody and he can't do
a damn thing about it. Right now, I would the
(02:36):
rip on him when he can defend himself, because that's
where the fun is. That is when it's more fun.
So you were saying, scary us, he just couldn't speak. Yeah,
can we all draw our favorite penis picture? And liked
today if you watched us play our round of match game,
(03:00):
we were drawing penis pictures on our on our answers,
and they none of them really look like any penis
I've ever seen. You've seen a lot of Daniel's was
extra special, foggy, extra special. I threw mine away, but
I'm going to draw another one now, hold on, well,
why this one's gonna be bigger. I just realized my
(03:22):
kids have been coming up and down and this is
on the floor of my porn just laying there. Great,
We're so proud of mommy. I try to draw a
picture for Scotty having sex with his teddy bear. Okay, yes,
so are we playing? But oh my god, and you
(03:48):
made it. One ball is bigger than the other, because
that's generally how it works, Scotty, is that that's how
I always draw a guy with a penis when I
was a kid. I guess I still do. Can you
just move on? But hurt? Let's go come on? Okay, Okay,
how insulting do you want it to get to? Sick? Okay?
(04:16):
Let's start your four years of Scott Who is the
worst person? Period? Oh? My god, that's am I allowed
to pass? No? You can't say yourself? Right? Well? Wait,
hold on, let's let's figure this out. What what is
(04:38):
your definition of the worst person? Uh? And then say
the name? I don't. I don't know, I don't. I
don't think there there's any bad people in this room.
I can't answer that. It doesn't say who's the bad person?
It says who's the worst person? Who's the worst of
the best of the people in the room? Who is
the worst but the worst? Meaning what there's so many
(04:58):
different definitions of worst. Yeah, that's a stupid question. Next question,
what if he names all the best, the best people
he thinks, and then obviously the last person he'll think
it's the worst person. You can't do it. Commit to
the game guys, may it please have another Okay, who
is the outcast of the group? Oh huh, outcast? Just
(05:24):
these sucks. Ask me questions about penises and stuff? Oh
my god, alright, yours needs a little reconstruction. Fine, you
don't want to go hard, Scotty will go soft. He
was the most orgasms in this room. But I'm gonna
(05:44):
go just you know, based on age, Elvis, I'm gonna
women have multiple in a sitting so they could triple
and quadruple up and ground man's planning orgasms. Yeah, you
would know, scary sitting sitting. That's that's something you get
(06:06):
in a restaurant. This game is the most lame version
of about all the good cards? What do you want?
We've done this so many times. Scott doesn't have a
back phone. He's not gonna answer any questions. Something about
cartoon Fine, Elvis. Yes, who is the first person that
would help you to bury a body? Yeah, experience if
(06:30):
Elvis called me. If my phone rang at like two
in the morning and it was Elvis and was Elvis said, Hey,
don't ask any questions, just bring a shovel, garbage bags,
and bleach in a body. Bring a body Scotty. What
body would it be? Whose body would it be? Scotty
in this room? Yeah, you can't answer that. It's I mean,
it's too tough. Almost answered Garrett. It probably would be me.
(06:55):
I think he'd be burying me. Why, I don't know.
You told me to pick someone. I don't. You're like
the last person that we get killed Scotty. Be Ever again,
he's so lay with games. No, Elvis may be very
scaries body. Yeah, I think so too. Bring a big well, Wait,
it depends on what time of year. He's much like
(07:19):
a big crook because shape like that. We've heard. Yeah, gandhi,
who is the most inspirational right now? From um? It's
really hard to answer this with a wiener in the
corner of my screen. Where would you like the winer?
I think the most inspirational is Elvis. I think that
(07:42):
just not that everybody else isn't inspirational, but I think
that I hear the most from him about hope and
about looking forward to things and kind of looking on
the bright side of stuff, more than I hear it
from everybody else. I mean, there's a reason why, because
I talk more than anyone else. Because I don't know
why I'm tired of being the one that talks that
Elvis Duran, you gotta take your name off the T shirt.
Thank you. That's very sweet of you, Gandhi. I appreciate that.
(08:05):
Thank you. Hey, Froggy, can you do me a fever?
So the way your position you're above scary? Can you
just flip that photo and just like just he's not
above scary on everyone's screen, I know, but for me
it's funny. He just dumped on Gandhi's head on my
sc screen. What is that, Scotty? That's my penis belt?
(08:26):
What is that? What was that picture with the food earlier? Yes?
Why do you have a penis belt? You ever go
on Google? And just like I just I googled penis drawings,
They're like all over the place. It looks like fine,
Oh god, Nate, sorry, who should be considered clinically insane?
(08:46):
Scotty d yes, hands yes, hands down. No one in
this room is qualified to come up with that. But
if you're gonna scary, that one's very well drawn. Can
I show you guys a picture to ruin allow for you?
I don't know how many of you ever saw me
post this one so large? Continue it's only going to
(09:11):
sit to this entire fifteen minutes and watch this ship
in the butt hurt game. It's fun. I feel bad
for the people who are listening. They can't see the pictures,
all right, Gandhi, Yeah, who would get picked last for
a team's sport? Brody, only because it has a hurt elbow?
(09:32):
But you have you have like a bad elbow or
something that you had to get figured out because of baseball,
and then you can throw anymore. So I would say, Brody,
it would be I think it would be me. I
was always the kid that was on the C team
and Jim they would always pick girl. Girl. He's left, Brody.
We tried to climb a mountain to go yoga, do yoga,
and you can even climb halfway up the mount. Climbing
a mountain isn't a sport Baseball sports bowling, Yes, I've
(10:01):
never never we talked about scary can't even can't even
put a glove on his hand, in my opinion, and
I've delivered my answer, and hey, this is a problem.
Look at this one, Oh God Jesus, which one are
you who would let you down in a time of need?
(10:26):
She who would let me down at a time of need.
Scary Scary what I thought. I don't think I would.
It depends on what the need. It depends on what
the need is. UM Like, if I needed somebody to
come get me, Scary would definitely show up. But if
I need somebody to help me commit a crime, Scary
would have no no, he's Scary, would not want no
(10:47):
part of it. So it depends on what the need is.
You guys are getting too analytical. You gotta go first impulse,
first impulse, first impulse. Froggy on that question. Scary okay,
almost would help me. He would ask a lot of questions,
but he would help. Yes. Uh, all right, hang on,
(11:09):
this is boring. We've done this like a half dozen times,
the penis pictures. What doesn't we need more? Danielle, you
were so oversexed. It's so funny. I think it's so funny,
all right, Danielle. Yeah, who would you not want to
have sex within this room? Wait, there's a list. There's
like eight of them, one to three, four. You should
(11:32):
ask who I would want to ask. My would be Gandhi. Yeah,
are we are allowed to show these? I mean this
is like poring on our thing. Drawings of peeps. Yeah,
it's gonna We've done all of the good questions. I'm
going through these. Is there another set? Maybe you can
(11:54):
answer the ones that Scotty B didn't want to answer,
like who is the worst person? Period? I would say,
Scotty be for giving that a well, Scotty be like Scotty,
I will say, can sometimes be annoying, Like one day
I threw a piece of trash in a garbage can
where it's supposed to go, and he goes, no, that's
not supposed to go there. Well, No, in my studio here,
(12:18):
there's two big garbage cans. One of them is trash,
one of them is recycling. And then I have a
little trash can, and I try to be nice to
the cleaning people, and I don't load the big one
up with like two little things of garbage. I say,
he just put him in my little can. So he
threw something out in the big can. I took it out.
That's all you did. I'm being courteous, but I threw
trash away in the trash I don't want to go
near you. You know, supposed to be six ft apart here. Okay,
(12:42):
then use your trash can. This is dumb. It is
ended early. I'm out, you know it's it's just Daniel
holding up floppy Penis is a good one minutes. He's
a good one. And we can all answer this. Actually,
(13:04):
can we write down our answers? Yes? Okay, okay, go
what's the question? Who is most likely to look through
your stuff while you're gone? Oh? Okay? Oh they got
trust everyone here except for one. Okay, who's gonna go first?
(13:30):
Just all out together? Yea, all at the same time.
It's like your vibe. I love it ready and say
the name out loud. Starrett Garrett, you know what would
(13:52):
go through everything? You know why because Garrett always knows everything,
Like he tells me stuff and I go And that's
how he knows because he goes through ship. Can I
tell you a little secret? Because people are always like,
how do you know? Because everybody loves to talk. If
you just shut up sometimes and listen, you learn things.
But also you have before you and Greg t when
(14:12):
he was here secretly recorded people when they're talking, which
is super sketchy. You did change my answer tooad I'm
a dickhead. Hey, so tomorrow is our Friday? That mean
we don't do a fifteen minute more to show part.
(14:34):
So this is our last. One of the reasons we
cannot end the week that this this mean, this was awesome,
This is so good. I guarantee my fifteen year old
son will love this. Wait, your son's gonna watch his
mom penises every time we did. Every time I tell
him don't watch, he watches it twice. So this is
(14:55):
the problem. You're fifteen year old and my mother if
it's not up, if this thing is not up by
ten thirty, She's like, Anthony, did you guys do a
fifteen minute show? I'm like, why, I want to watch it?
Watch everyone? We should put your mother on tomorrow. Asked
her what she thought of today? Tomorrow. I want your
(15:17):
mother to draw what she thinks your penis looks like stopping.
I don't want to hear a dig with Scary's mom again.
Come on, we're talking about my mother said hi to her,
took it the wrong way. I'm gonna tell I'm gonna
(15:38):
tell her that we didn't record one today. I'm gonna
call her, tell her, tell her the internet is broken.
I will tell you. I'm so glad this is almost over.
The sun is out. I'm ready to go outside with it.
Over by a minute, already by fifteen minute. Morning show
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Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.