Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast?
Firm represents fifteen minute morning show around the Penis Shaped Table,
Gandhi and Scary, Dave Brody and Garrett, Danielle and over
here's Nate. Welcome to the day. We your microphone over
(00:26):
there than I'm gonna hear you. This is our fifty
minute morning show podcast. Hello. I missed you guys while
we were gone, so it was nice to meet back
and do the morning show together yesterday and then the
fifteen minutes and then we're back at it and they
were back at its fifteen minutes of the day. Speaking
of podcasts, I need to make an announcement which concerns
our podcast in I think two thursdays from this Thursday,
(00:48):
I'll be out in Los Angeles for the I Heart
Radio Podcast Awards. They've asked me to come out and
I guess present or whatever. And I noticed that one
of the big guess, most robust, most listen to podcasts
and I heart Radio is the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Thank
you guys. Did you know it's the most listen to
(01:09):
I Heart Radio employee hosted podcast. So what's it up
for at the awards? Nothing? And look, I love the
fact that I Hurt Radio is a great platform for
all podcasts from all walks of life and whatever. But
this is our like our homes, our homies. Yeah, you
would you would think that the home team would have,
(01:30):
you know, a shot at winning. Corlin O'Brien got nominated
and he works hot on his podcast. I'm sure so.
So we did some calculations and then so right now
we are the number eight I Heart produced podcast. So
of all the podcasts in the world, I Heart produces
some of them, and other companies do We're eight. Who's
(01:51):
ahead of you? Joe Rogan No, from the I Heart producer. Sorry,
he's got it right there, right as far as as
far as heart, um, I heard employees in the entire
company we are. We are number one currently. I feel
weird saying it. I was telling Nate this earlier. I'm
not want to blow my own horn. I don't want
to make a big deal of that, but it's just
(02:15):
it's I feel dirty and filthy talking about but sometimes
we have to do that, That's what he was saying.
Nate was talking about compared it to the Oscars, and
apparently a lot of these films they actually lobby and
they go campaign for your consideration full page and drive.
You drive around Los Angeles, especially on the you know wherever,
and you see there's billboards everywhere there. They want the
(02:38):
people who are voting for the Academy driving up and
down Sunset Strip to go. Okay, I like their billboard.
I'll make them the number one film. But shouldn't people
take notice of things just by default? Like where would
you find that information? By default? Well, our company puts
out the top one list. Well, I actually called the
(02:58):
president and vice president of podcasting, like, I said, Hey,
you guys run promos for other people's podcasts on our podcast?
Can you please run promos of our podcast on other
people's podcast Not yet, but they're they're going to now
in the category you would have been in comedy? Who's nominated?
If you guys were nominated last year we were nominated
(03:20):
for Best Comedy podsow you were for being nominated to
not even being nominated. I look at the top comedy
podcast trending lower so Joe Rogan, which isn't really it's
more political at this point, but he's number one and
we're number two. All the other podcasts like crime dramas
murderer and relationship stuff. And last year we were told
that we lost to the Joe Rogan podcast for Best
(03:42):
Comedy only by a couple of hundred fan votes on
the last day he did throughout their leading. It's nice
to be told that, but you're like, oh, what doesn't matter.
You know, here's the thing. We need to be smart
for next year's podcast awards. If we need to take
out ads, if we need to call people and say hey, yo,
what's up, then let's do that. We didn't plan ahead
(04:03):
this year. I think what you need is a good
agent and uh, Elvis, I think you should do it
and take a certain percentage of their profits. Oh yeah,
I'm boy. Those are robust profits. Profits of whatever they
make off. Can we get pizza? Pizza is nothing. Look,
(04:23):
I I gotta tell you I like the Serial Killers
podcast as well. I think that's a great they by
the way, because I listened to six episodes last week
they presented the awards, the Spooneys they call them for
the best serial and worst cereal of the year, and
the company they gave the worst sereal to hit them
up on social media and attacked them and said, how
dare you say cereals the worst. What was it? I
(04:45):
don't know, but it was that's serial It wasn't that
one has someone who can It was gone off it.
So on your Serial Killers podcast, you guys had the spooney,
Yes we did so which cereal or company was voted
worst in your opinion? And they and they attacked you
on it our online sereal school, the Seial School. I
(05:09):
mean they didn't attack us. They just didn't like the
fact that they won worst cereal of the year. What
does what is? What is cereal School? It's one of
those keto cereals that has no sugar, It's sweetened with
monk fruit and taste like crap. Okay, yeah, it's one
of those How is that? How is that worse than
the one with tumeric in it? And it tasted like
some Indian spice. Well, because that one at least had
a little bit of flavor and some sugar. This just
(05:30):
tastes like, you know, packing peanuts with some cocoa on it. Okay,
realized we're trashing the cereal on two podcasts. Gotta be honest.
I couldn't care less hold on now, to be fair,
because I didn't hear this one in the Spooneys Awards,
Who Like One Top honors Lucky Charms one the best
Cereal of the Year, Wow, Lucky Charms. That's that was
(05:51):
the classic, and the best New Cereal of the Year
went to uh Eggo Waffle Cereal Cereals by the way,
Taste of Maple and every body you know that we
did make some else for the Serial School because people
wanted to see how bad it actually was and they
went and they bought it, so they podcast, they should
thank you. That's right. They should see how awful we
are by us. The reason we're talking about podcast is
(06:11):
the I Heart Radio Podcast Awards are coming up in
a couple of weeks, and we're talking about how we,
just like Hollywood gets all their people to back their
favorite films for Academy Awards, we should try to find
a way for next year's Podcast awards to get our
podcasts to win up at least get nominated. I would
love to just go sit in the audience. I mean
that would be an honor better. And they put us
(06:37):
right in the front, like right by the stage. Okay,
so did you think you were winning? Since they right
by the steps? We had the tail of Swift seats, yes,
and we were like, oh, we're gonna get called up,
Like yeah, you watched that on the on the Awards.
Every awards shows, they always they want to cut the
time to the stage for the winners, so they put
all the winners right at the foot of the staircase.
And I'm like, Brodie, they put us right at the
foot of the stairs. What's the guy's name from that
(06:58):
seventies show, oh Uld for graces at our table. We
were at the celebt table, a celebrity podcast radio producer
when we didn't win ate the entire tower of Shrimp
by ourselves. Okay, so so Garrett, yes, you know, truth
be told. Garrett has been doing a podcast for I
(07:19):
think your podcast is the longest running podcast truly. So yeah, yeah, yeah,
no Celebrity Buzz with our friend Rob Shooter, who who's
actually coming in a few minutes. We're going to do
a new one so new Year. A lot of people
don't even like the celebrity nous of it. They just
like Rob Shooter and I just fighting each other off
as he tries to flirt with me. Yeah, there you go.
He is a flirt. He's a horny bastard. But yeah,
(07:41):
check it out when you get a chancelator on this
afternoon with The Podcast awards are Friday, January seventeenth, and
I don't know what I'm just I know I'm flying
out for the day just to be a part of it,
and then I'm gonna fly on home if you could
get there. Walkers and Talkers podcast nominated as well. What
is that? My Son of a Bitch World Episode one
sixty four Garrett of Are Walking Dead podcast not nominated
(08:02):
either the television category. You know, look, you know, I
think we have millions of podcasts available through the iHeart platform,
so I don't know. The other day a friend of
mine was saying, yeah, what is it all these podcasts?
I said, well, no, you know that really is He said, well,
how can we don't do your own? I said, well,
I do a four hour show every day. I think
that's all. That's all the gas I have past. I
(08:25):
don't even I don't even consider this a podcast, even
though it is firmly a podcast. What's that? Okay, let's
get nominated. Can we get ourselves nominated? See here's the
thing about what we're doing now. I consider this podcast
and a simple extension of the show we already do.
I don't find it to be unique enough. But for instance,
the Brooklyn Boys are very unique. Entertainment is very unique.
Serial Killers, how more unique? How more deep and narrow
(08:46):
can you be? In fact, there is for serial Killers
the best Food Podcast category. You guys should have been
in there. Yeah, I mean the Sportfull is nominated as
well as Gastropod and I'm sure they're great show. We
work on next year's award. And you also have the
Elvis Strant on demand channel, which is a podcast of
our whole show. And last year the Breakfast Club our
(09:09):
friends their replay which they just put a replay up
as a podcast one for best podcast in nick category.
We should win some stuff then without knowing it. I mean,
who else could do the fifteen minute morning show about
our morning show besides us? Nobody who decides nominees. I
don't know exactly that much of assholes, So this one
(09:30):
could be. This fifteen minute morning show could be under
the best pop Culture Podcast category. Because but we're doing
to sit around and just bellyaching about the fact we're
not winning awards and who wants to listen to this
cracks about fifty thou people a day from the record shows. Sorry,
since we have Scotty be here. Did you see over
break Gene Simmons said he puts ice cubes in a cereal.
(09:52):
I did see that. Yeah, that is just I don't get.
I mean, Andrew ate cereal with water one time, so
I guess that's just hard water. That's just sucks. Why
somebody do that, Well, I tell you why. Because they
say that as adults we should not be drinking any
milk at all. They say milk really is for strengthening
the bodies of little babies. They say that's it. They're
say you shouldn't drink milk otherwise you ship yourself. And
(10:15):
I don't like any of the alternatives exactly. My boyfriend
uses apple juice in Apple Jack's I kid you not.
I thought it was foul. He swears by it. There's
a trend going with oat milk. A lot of people
using oat milk. Now, yeah, milk, I don't mind. I don't.
I don't mind the nut milks and the grain milk.
Did you just say cash cash you milk? It's cash?
(10:37):
I almost want to say guzoom type very on Thursday
show coming up. Cash isn't don't you emphasize the cat
it's cash and cashews you're emphasizing to you. I'm fastest
on the wrong selevel. The guy who yells at elvi
Us for saying Thanksgiving cash and he says, it's cash you,
but it's it's Thanksgiving, it's not Thanksgiving. We're back to you. No,
(11:00):
it's cash. You you know what, I'll let you say.
I'll let you you call it whatever you want. Scary,
I'm tired of arguing. You smell like a fucking onion today.
Scary walks in today and the whole room reeks of
a freshly chopped onion were like, what the hell it steaks?
And of course you don't want to smell that rank
odor the first thing in the morning. Then Scotty B says, well,
(11:23):
that's scary. Scary walked smelling like a freaking onion. Yeah,
I got blamed for it, so scary. It's my coat.
So why are you wearing your coat while you're chopping onions?
Because I had it right next to where I was
chopping onions, cooking on is. The onions were like permeating
through my entire house. It still smells like onions right now.
We actually stopped flailing your arms and started on your
(11:43):
body heat because it smells like, If that's how bad
is jacket smells, think how bad is apartment. So I'm
listening to the show as I'm doing work in the back,
and all I hear is Elvis call Scary, you know
you smell like onions. So I thought you were referring
to him personally. So Scary nonchalantly walks into my studio
and being very cordial and friendly and goes, hey, how's
(12:05):
it going. Good to see you, and he places his
coat down, and I thought like, maybe he's just having
a bad day. He's just like you, just wanted to
get out of the studio and not return until he
calmed down or whatever. He was having a bad day.
We were yelling at him, smelling like correct, but I
didn't know the jacket smelled like. We told him get
his jacket out of here. What did he do? He
put the jacket in my studio. When he left, he goes, hey,
all right, hey, I'll talk to you later, and he
(12:26):
walked out. What was your logic? You just left your
stinky ass jacket and Garrett studio? Well yeah, because he
said he said to me he goes onions, right, I'm
like onions. Referring to him, I thought he knew my
jackets smelled like onions, So why would you in his
closed door studio? Because he saw me put the jacket
over the thing and he said, the onions. Why would
(12:47):
you leave it there? Because it's air conditioning? So what
so right now the jackets did one of the lockers over?
I opened the locker before I almost threw up. That
studio has history of smelling like sweaty jim socks and
you won't know it. So whose office is right across
from the lockers? Mine? I will kill you? You know?
(13:11):
Why did? Why does Garrett Studio have a history of
smelling like chim socks? What bald freak Rannie used to
work there, work here? He had he had like a
boy's bedroom smell. That's exactly how it's like the same
scary when you're When you and your brother shared her
bedroom growing up, it smelled like Ronnie student. I think
we had that, but that was two years ago. It
doesn't mean you need to bring the onion smell in
there because it hasn't been there soon Here it's like
(13:32):
there needs a big consistency that's the smell would make
some sense out of all this? Did you say you
were tired of arguing when we were talking about cash
and Thanksgiving and you wanted to take it. He wanted
to take it to thanks Thanksgiving and he was still
I wanted to continue with cash. But are you done arguing? No,
(13:52):
I'll argue ahead. I was gonna say pecan if you
were done arguing. But I'm not gonna argue with you
because I know it's pecan. We was raised on pecan.
I don't know because pecan is real. Cash is not real.
And English doesn't really have a lot of rules that
it sticks to because shoe is just I don't know.
That's a new one. And we get him to say
(14:13):
squirrels cash. Hey, hey, scary. Watch that little animal that
crawls up trees that hide its nuts during winterrets you here?
Tomorrow we may get another squall of snow. The squirrel
in the who it is? It's cash? He literally had
(14:41):
twelve people telling him it's cash. Well, you know sometimes
you look it up. He goes, oh, you can say cash.
You pass. We love you, scary. The fifteen minute Morning
Jelf