Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Live from the Mercedes Benz Interview Lounge. Oh well, Lisa
Lampanelli's been in the roof for less than sixty seconds already,
My anxiety levels.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Are through the roof. You love it, girl.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
How many years that we've been friends? All of us
have been friends for like.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Maybe twenty twenty five years. I was on and you
were one of the few people who helped me with
my career back when I was a nobody. And now
that I'm back to being a nobody, I'm back on
your a trying to do a podcast on that stick. Stop.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Please. You never were and never will be a nobody,
not at all, not at all.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
You, but thank you for the opportunity ell us.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Oh please. I remember the first night they said you
got to come watch Lisa Lampanelli do her show. I've
seen you do this and that, but I never saw
your show or your stage show. So we went to
this little club in the village and we sat down
and you started in and I was like, you guys
want to have her on our show in the No,
there's no way this. I mean, I was entertained, dude.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
So just how wild it is?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Though?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I was thinking about the old days when I used
to come on, I used to be an insult comic.
I don't do that no more. I'm nice. So what
happened was Elvis would have me on and they would
literally people of different ethnicities would call in and have
me guess their ethnicity, you know. And that was the
day when you could say a lot of stuff. Not
that I want to anymore. I'm not a dumb sea.
(01:26):
So we save it all for the memory bank and
relive it.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Don't you remember, like if you didn't insult, like, say,
you didn't insult Italians that day, right, the Italians would
call and say that they were mad at Lisa for
not insulting exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I mean, I'm so shocked. Italians complained. No, it was
literally like they wanted to be included. And that's why
I'm lucky enough that I had the career when I did,
because back then people were like, oh, include me, include me,
and they all had a sense of humor. So I
just like to say, when I retire in twenty eighteen,
I canceled myself. Before I could get canceled, I said,
I'm done.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Well, I know I'll tell you Gandhi, this is before
you knew us and we knew you.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
A lot of people in the Indian community would call
and be offended that she would not insult them. Yeah,
I know offended.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I believe it.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
I actually I encountered her when I was an intern
and she got me immediately and I was like, oh,
I like this.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Oh very sexual the way you just did that. I
enjoy that.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Wow. So uh God. The last time we spoke was
at the at the wedding, I think that was, and
its been four years. We've talked since then, haven't we.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Well, we've talked. I've run into you in the studio
and you've given me that Oh I'm so famous and
you only have a podcast lesa thing.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Wow, we get it all this.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
You're elevated and I'm not true.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
That's not true.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
No, we bumped into each other, but I have Oh
you know what, we went to like the North Shore
Animal League event, say little Donkies and the kiddies.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
We did Fantastic Rabbit. You were so she's We had
Lisa at her own table with and I hand picked
the people at your table at the wedding.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
They had to be well dressed, mostly homocessualand or good
looking women.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
That's all I send with.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I don't like no ugly.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
You ran the Big Gay Table at the Big Gay Wedding.
You were incredible, Thank you heaven you as their host.
You were the official host. I actually said, Lisa, it's
more than you sitting down at a table full of strangers,
but you had you have people with you as well.
You You are the you are the host of the
Big Gay Table. Well you.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
The thing is, I'm very entertaining, as you could tell,
I have a terrific personality, and people enjoy me. Shut up, Danielle,
I mean, and the Gandhi is looking like she's convinced
I'm actually interesting, but the rest of you are like, yeah,
we don't care about her. I enjoy you have any time.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
That's how this.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Whole silly podcast thing started, Elvis. Remember you had me
on hers and then you're like, come podcast with us,
and I got tricked into working for you for yes
see that it's a case.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
You pay us in a way. Yeah, we'll we'll invoice you. Okay.
So uh, Lisa Lampinelli's podcast is called shrink This. Yeah,
it's incredible and you you haven't missed a beat. You
are still still on top of it. You are ahead
of the pack when it comes to your your thoughts,
your philosophy. Actually, you help people, bellieve or not. This
(04:29):
crazy woman helps people.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
It's true. I am the life coach for the masses
with the potty mouth. You know what I'm saying, because
I think humor has to be included in who I am,
even though I'm a helpful broad. You know, people write letters.
They compliment me, and then I read the letter. By
the way, if you send me a letter, that's the
only way you get on is it first? It's a
compliment like you're beautiful, very Thinn, never needed botox, angeless, timeless,
(04:55):
great beauty, and the best comic who's ever lived. If
they say that, then I help them because I'm a giver,
as you know, as you she's a giver.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
As you know, as I know, as we all know,
except not sexually.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I'll tell you something, Elvis around. I'm sixty three years
old and I don't need it. You know. I am
you done?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Are you done?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
I'm dead for jaist down since I was fifty years old,
and I don't care because you know what, it keeps
me from e f and lousy guys. I say to
myself Lisa, you're protected, you're safe. You just go home
and you have a good time. See how clean I am.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
For the air, you enjoying your hold on. So, Lisa, lit,
let's turn this around. Let's say you had a guest
or a call or whatever and they said, you know what, Lisa,
I'm twenty eight years old and I've given up on
sex because I don't want to have to deal with relationships.
I don't have to deal with that. What would your
advice be, I'm at twenty eight years twenty eight.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I'd probably say get therapy, because I even wear a
shirt during my podcast call that says go to therapy,
because these people, they got to look within them and
what their fricking problem is. If someone's truly asexual, well
that's fine, they'll figure it out, you know. But if
they're just sad and they've been abused by men like scary,
which I get terrible human and it hasn't come out yet,
(06:12):
but me too, I would just tell them look in
word for the answer, because Elvis, don't you feel that
every answer is within us already?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yes, but sometimes we need someone to help us mind
that out.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
And I take us a pickaxe and I go to
town the.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
God.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
So what have you open up to, Elvis, I'm curious, Well,
you're looking at it.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I've been up to this. We've all been up to
this together. We've been talking lately a lot about how
this family that we've created over the years is just
really where we want to be in life. This is
is freaking awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
It is true because acceptance of your failures is a lot.
Acceptance is always the answer. You're surrounded by these people
who haven't got a pot to piss I approve of that's.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
A real ticket. No, no, no, that is not the case.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And you know, no, No, they're fantastic. You are lucky
because that is a nice crew. Because when I retired
from comedy, I realized that I had to really start
over and make a whole bunch of new friends because
I moved to Connecticut. I was like, oh, like, I
don't know anyone here. So this community is very important
and I had to build that. It only took me
eight years and a lot of kissing of frogs, not
literally just tonguing them, and then I finally built it up.
(07:31):
So community is important.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
It is it's everything. It's surrounding yourself with the right
energy when we have it every day and then we
add some spice here and they're like, for instance, with you,
Lisa Lampinelli's sitting in that chair.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
It's true. Like I would say, you said, I listened
to the show, and you have it maybe every other day.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
It's always clicking.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I have to tell you you're very generous.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I'll send you notes. Don't worry about it. Yeah, how
would you help U?
Speaker 1 (07:59):
No? I love you guys. You know that.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Damn it. Girl good.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
So when it comes to your your podcast and the
letters that you're getting, obviously, aside from all the compliments,
what are the most common threads of things that people
say help me?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Well, there's a lot of stuff about obviously, my issues
have always been weight and food related, body image related.
We get a lot of that stuff. We have a
two parter on friendship that we did because friendship is
so important to me and it's such a struggle to
have adult relationships like that. We're gonna do an episode
on should you tell your husband or partner everything? Because
I firmly believe you should not talk about that. You
(08:36):
have tons of secrets and have sex with other people.
Advice you have a hot husband like yours, Danielle, thank you.
Let me tell you something. I follow that cat if
I could call that on the Instagram. He is cool
as hey. Then he's acutie. He's really cute and his
(09:00):
looks because some of these old guys. That's the problem, Elvis.
That's why I don't care about not dating, because if
I went on, say Silver Singles or Raya for old bastards,
I would get disgusting old sixty year old men. I
don't want that. I don't want that. I want a
forty year old or nothing. And I ain't getting a
forty year old, So I might as well give up.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
My mother says, my mother's seventy six, right. So I
said to my mom, som you meet anybody like it?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
The Golden Age.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Answer to me is Danny. The guys I want don't
want me, and the guys that want me can't walk
across the room.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
You know what, that's truthfully true, because see here's the problem.
You know who I blame for this whole thing is
Dennis Leary. And I'll tell you why. Two years ago,
I was watching this Rescue Me. It's this television show
with these hot firemen and I realized, ooh, he's sexy. Ooh,
maybe I want to someday have a sex with something.
(09:55):
And you know what happened. I realize, Yeah, because he's
forty two in the show. Oh, I don't want to
have sex with sixty five year old Dennis Larry, but
the forty two year old Hello, mama. So here's the problem.
I can't be inappropriate with the young men. So I
just stay home and do whatever.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Right now, what's the cutoff?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
The cut off? Well, I tell you what. It's pretty gross.
I guess fifty. That's good. That's good. Guess. So I'm
very wealthy, and yeah, I don't like these users. I
don't want to be used for my money and power
and great beauty. It's hard to be judged for this loveliness,
(10:39):
is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I'm starting to feel like I'm understanding you. I'm getting it.
It's start, after all these years, it's starting to start.
It's starting to work. I get it. Get it right,
if you're just turning us on. Lisa Lampanelli's here. She
is a part of the Elvis Durren podcast Now Yeah,
with her podcast called Shrink This. I mean I know
that you have a lot of fun with everything and
anything you do. But I'm sure from time to time
(11:03):
it does get some serious. You have a serious moment
or two.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I No, No, I would say seventy percent of it
is advice and really good like intro, like to have
people sort of ask questions of themselves and yeah, I
have a co host, Nick, and we're funny together, so
it's really good. But we're both damaged goods just trying
to help other people. And so it's sound advice, I
would say, because I'll listen to the episodes to approve them,
because you never know when iheart's trying to pull a
(11:27):
fast one and have me.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
That's true. I don't trust him.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I would not either, So I'm like, oh, this is
really good advice. However, it is humorous. I can't cut
that out of my life.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
You know what I'm saying, Nor should you, because it
makes it more interesting, you know what. And mental health
shouldn't be down and dark and sad all the time.
Code it should not be mental health should be something
fun to work on because that way you're not afraid.
You're not afraid of it, you know, right.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
A little huber without deflection goes a long way.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Gandhi wants to know what sort of life advice if
you're so hot on yourself for being the life advice giver,
Gandhi go ahead, ask.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
Her, do you have some life advice for us, the
people in this room, based on things that you have observed.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I mean, I've always thought we should get rid of scary.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
That's fair.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I said he's shifty in the old day.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
The old day, she said she was onboard terrorist.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
She told me to my face you said his eyes
were too close together.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Wait, that was the old least, and now I only
say he's still a terrorist? Was your purpose?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
That was her opening life.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
It's a problem. I never really understood that he had
any reason to be in this room. I just can'dding
you know that. Right's nice. I've gotten Elvis that I
fact checked that did I trigger?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I know.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
But you know you said several things since you said
in this chair today, and getting back to what Gandhi
was asking, what advice do you have for us? You
seem to be a true believer, and you, all of
us being already wired with our answers, correct. I think
we just we need someone to help us get them
out right.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I think really people are afraid to sit still long
enough to have the answer rise up from within them,
so they take a poll of everybody else. You ever
notice when you have a decision to make your call
this one, that one, the other one, and see what
they tell you, it's never going to be their answer.
It has to be something that you get comfortable with
and you sit there and you go internally. Problem is,
nobody wants to slow down. So once I retired, I
(13:35):
was like, oh, I have the answers within me, but
I gotta let it settle and come out. You know
what I mean?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
In place, when you ask your friends for advice, you
already know what you want them to say, because when
they say what you don't want them to say, well
why are you saying that? Well, my answer to them is,
well why are you asking me if you don't want
to hear what I have to say about you. But
we have the answers inside all along we do.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
I just think we're afraid. We've been told like we
have to, you know, look elsewhere for anything. We have
to look outside of us for happiness. That's why people
buy ten million things and shoes and bags and forty
houses like Elvis has. I mean, you just keep buying houses.
That's the point of that, Danielle. I personally, when I retire,
(14:20):
I dumbed myself down to one house, and I said
to myself, boy, I'm happier than Elvis, because you must
be miserable time so wealthy shoes with the red soles,
Lisa does. I have shoes with black souls and a
heart with a black soul.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
I know, but you're living a life you're second homeless,
and it does it bother you at all? And you're
fine with you.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
No, it's really really sad when I got rid of
those houses. No, it's so weird. We I think we
just medicate with a lot of things. And it's nice
to get older. You'll see Elvis someday when you're my age.
You'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I'm basically there.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Wait, how old are you do you?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
I'm sixty.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I'm sixty, wow, sixty sixty sixteen about to be sixty four.
So as your elder, I say, your life is meaningless
and sell your houses and see what you think.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
I'm gonna start working on that. But you know what,
it is nice to declutter, and it's not only about
decluttering your house and your your drawers and your closet.
It's about decluttering your head.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Well yeah, it's about decluttering a lot of limiting beliefs,
like things.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
The limiting people, the people that we allow to cling on,
and we need to let them go. We let them go.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
It's just the way I'm saying you're getting a divorce
because I would fully not like that.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I'm not divorcing quite yet, because I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Really think he's the best thing about you.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Okay, how I joke, I kid by.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
The way I do joke.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I kud about that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I wonder though, in the if you did get a divorce,
which you want, would which one of you would get
custody of me? I've had friends who got divorced and
they had to figure out which one gets me?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
So who would I That's a part of it. Look,
you know, the older we get does no matter if
you're in your twenties or thirties or sixties. Your friends
are divorcing, No, I would get you. I would fight.
I would go in front of a judge to make
sure it's it's all legally. You're legally bound to me.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
I would break that a lot thank you. This is
really I feel so treasured now that I wasn't worth
the trip from Jersey, but I'm worth that.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
It was great most Lisa, listen, talk, Let's talk about
the podcast. Where are you going with this? What is
your what's the point listen? I know it's a stupid question,
but it's it. It needs answering. What's the point of
your podcast?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Honesty?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Okay. When you texted me and said, hey, I liked
your podcast with Gandhi, you should come podcasts with us,
I was like, wow, that's great because Elvis Dran you know,
you're one of my heroes and fans. I love you.
I said let's do this, and I said, let's do
episodes to help people, and a if it takes off
(16:55):
a little, it takes off a little. If it doesn't,
it doesn't. I just want every episode to be fun.
I don't like putting pressure on myself to achieve anything
in life because it doesn't really make me happier. But
coming in every week and doing a podcast and having
a blast and laughing and working with the people here,
it's been great.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
So that I had a podcast before I was a
guest on your podcast, but that wasn't an inferior network
atwork issue. It was a network issue. It was it
a you issue. You were weren't ready to do it a.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Podcast, someone else's fault. That's the one thing you'll learn
on my podcast never to take the blame for anything. No,
they weren't bad, no is it was just a limited run,
just like you know, anything is so hey, I enjoy it,
we have a good time. We'll see what happens.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
What do you think of that, mister? What's the point
helping people? That's all you've said? If it, then that's
what I'm a sweetheart of a gal.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
I try to coach people because that's the thing you
don't mean. I'm kind of a born coach. I like
telling people what to do. Nobody listens to me in
my life, so I can't give my advice to friends
and family like they're always like, do their doing their
own thing. So this way on the air waves, I
get to tell people and hope they do what's best.
And you help me with laughter as well. Thank you,
(18:13):
miss with hot husband, shell shell bread, shell bread. How's
it going? It is great? By the way. I just
want to circle back so that he has kept his
looks yet and he's very handsome. I think you never
change either. Thanks. I resent it, but I'll work it
out tomorrow. In therapy at eleven am, as.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
They say, the people with the best advice of the
people who really need to help them out.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yes, because every shrink is the most effed up person
you ever notice you only work on your psychology. If
you're gonna get a PhD and be a therapist, you're
gonna have a lot of problems. So I always look
at my shrink and go, who you talking to? Batch?
You know what I'm saying. So, yeah, we're the most
horrible people, but we want good for other people. That's good.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Okay. So you're you're putting yourself in that same category.
Well yeah, even though I'm great at helping others, maybe
you know I need to be opened to be helped myself.
And I'm still struggling with that.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Oh man, constantly. No, I'm always I will never not
go to therapy every week. I go, oh god, yes,
I go tomorrow at eleven I'm not joking. Do you
make your therapist laugh?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Never, you don't crack any joke. No, I cry immediately
because I always, like get very serious because I'm not
there to entertain her. I say, listen, Pixie which is
her name, which is weird, and I have to bring
that up tomorrow too. I'm gonna say, stop it. That's fake,
and I don't appreciate it. No, but I know I
go right in because why waste time. I'm sixty three.
(19:44):
I could be dead tomorrow. If I was, it would
have been great because I do not fear death. I
fear other people dying, but I don't fear my own death.
So if I die, Danielle tell shell Brett, I'm gonna
tongue kiss him in the afterlife. You just can't, my goodness.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
You know, have you ever had a therapist that just
looked at you and goes and when I don't know,
I don't think I'm the one. Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I remember that I was going with my first ex husband.
I remember going to like counseling with marriage counseling, and
after one half hour, the shrink goes. You know, this
is obviously a bad union. You should get a divorce. No, no,
he is right, he's right. Half hour. I mean you
could assess that because I hated the guy and he goes.
(20:37):
But then he goes, but you, and he points to me,
he goes, you, I gotta see alone, and I'm like,
and it's been a therapy ever since. No. I love
working on myself. Oh my god, I love it. I
mean it's hard because you learn some stuff about yourself
you don't like, but then you try to change it
and not be as douchey as you were the last week.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Well, people are afraid of learning more about themselves and
so afraid that they don't even know they don't know
themselves yet.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
I know.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
I'm business sorry, but that's a hard one to dig up.
It's a hard thing. It's a difficult thing to dig
up things about you that you're afraid to admit to
yourself or you're afraid to talk about to anyone else,
including yourself.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I know, but I guess after like doing it, since
I'm aged twenty five or so, I'm like, oh, I mean,
forty years of this. It's great cause you're I'm kind
of There's nothing I'm going to find out that is
going to send me over an edge, Like there's no
repressed memories. It's just like, oh yeah, I still got
to work on that codependence. I still have to work
on my protective instinct to like just jump to all
(21:40):
my friends and defense when they don't need it. So
like all my stuff I'm kind of aware of, and
weekly you get the chance to work on it. So
hopefully the podcast will help others do that too. If not,
they'll get a chuckle right down.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Y'all love you. I've told you this, We've all told
you this many times. We love you very much.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I love you man. You're honestly, you're like the tops
to me. You're the guy who would always have me on.
I remember in the old days you never had comedians on.
You had me John Pennette.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Do we lose.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Elvish okay, because it's this connection lost on the screen.
And I was like, oh no, great now he's died.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Now my brains, my brain, it's not the zoom.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
No. But like John Pinnette and me and you would
be like, you know, we never have comics, but you
guys are different. And I thought that was great.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
That was all of you and he was but we
we adore you. And Gandhi is I U should get
back on Gandhi's podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
But anytime, I like her so much despite her heritage,
I would just like today. That's the only racial thing
I've said, and it's because we're friends. So if you
have a letter of complaint, go after yourself safe space.
So can I do a shameless little podcast plug and
(23:05):
just say if you do have a question or want
advice about any sort of mental health topic or relational thing,
send it to shrink this show at gmail dot com.
If you don't know how to spell that, I'm sorry,
but I'm not gonna spell it for you because if
you're that stupid, you don't deserve an answer. Is podcast
shrink Shrink this show at gmail dot com. Don't worry,
(23:28):
someone got it wrong. I'm guessing that was my producer.
And guess what, saleya you're fire. I'm not they give
me an interurn. This is what happens. I'm just kidding.
She is like my fabs because she can take a
joke with us. She's a good gal. But yeah, send
a letter, give me a compliment, and we'll give you advice.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Henny, drink this show at gmail dot com. Of course
it's Shrink This the new super superstar studded podcast on
the elvistrain Catch network. And I'm serious. You really should
hop onto a Gandhi's podcast. Gandhi, you should go on hers,
and we should all go in each other's.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I mean, hey, I promise you, Elvis, if you come
on my show, you can do it from any of
your twelve houses. Why not wear your fancy shoes?
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Okay, well, according to you, I've sold like seven seven houses.
She started this interview.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
No, I just like exaggerating your wealth.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
It's fun, it's toping. I love you, Lisainelli.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
I love