August 5, 2020 • 15 mins
What starts out with nice, fun ,birthday stories about Elvis turns into something GROSS!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
minute morning show. Hey, it is the fifteen minute morning
Show and I'm done. I'm done. Sorry, I Elvis, I'm done.
(00:27):
I know how Elvis feels. Now you host the show
the entire day. You don't want to have to talk anymore.
This is exhausted. It wasn't that bad, you guys. You
guys really helped carry load. So thank you so much.
You did a great job. Well, now everybody chips in.
I think everybody jumps in, and I gotta say, it
was so much easier hosting than I thought, because everybody's
remote from their home and it's just difficult to have
(00:50):
some sort of connection exactly like like that right now,
trying to figure out when somebody's going to talk and
when somebody's done talking and what they're going to say.
But you guys are awesome, So thank you so much
for for making this a team effort. I'll keep going, Nate,
I'm almost there, keep going, keep going. Oh my god,
(01:11):
is that a call back to esterday? You need five
more seconds now? Okay, so you see everybody with us
in the zoom room. If you're listening to this, then
do you here's who's here, Froggy and Nate and Danielle
and Scotty b and of course Gandhi and Garrett and
(01:31):
I believe David Brodie can finally hear us. I can
hear you? Can you hear me? Only through the phone,
only through the phone. So that's that. It's good. Look
at Brodie's pool. He's got a nice cool dude. What
is all cleaned up? Did you already clean up everything? Yeah?
It took me an hour and a half yesterday to
get the forest out of my bowl. Nice, I have
(01:52):
treats over the pool. Wow. That class problem. Got to
clean up. It's the first world problem. What am I
gonna do? Clarence, what are we gonna do? We gotta
come out of the pool. This is the absolute first
time seeing Brodie's pool, and the last time as podcast
(02:18):
partners that I would have seen his pool sooner than
today in a zoom room. He thinks you're dripping in
the VIDs. Yeah, of scary dripping in the vid so
earlier in the show A big show and the on
demand show if you want to listen to that podcast.
Scary at some point starts beat boxing. Uh so, Froggy
(02:39):
can wrap and It wasn't until we went to commercial.
I'm like, holy sh it, I'm covered in scary spittle,
so covered in coronavirus. Plaining what a beatbox is first
of all, So a beatbox is when you make the
music with your mouth, requires get right up onto a
microphone and doing something and like no, no, no, plays
(03:06):
the hits on his birthday. I hope he doesn't get
the ships was supposed to go. It never made it
to air that way. Hey, can I answer a question?
How far are you sitting from him that his spittle
is reaching? Okay, Mr drama queen over here, the damn
(03:29):
it flies. It flies, You can go at least scary.
There's no way that I'm hitting it from me. It's floating,
looking room is filled with COVID. You really think that
I can't shoot my shot that far? Oh hello, let's
call back to yesterday too. We're not going back to yesterday.
(03:51):
Let's call Robin and ask her. You know what Scary
was saying earlier that we were talking about another person
who's in the building and it's scarious, Like, oh, person,
that person is way worse than me. They show no
care for the bid. I'm the I am I am
the safest person around compared to this person, And I'm like,
how bad must they be? Like what are they doing?
Because every time I see Scary, he's out and doing stuff.
(04:14):
So what is this person doing that is so much worse?
They're like hanging out in the coronavirus wary looking homeless people.
That's what he said. By the way, this is going
this is going on. We have a p o V
of Brody dead. Yeah, I'm good, I'm good. What do
(04:36):
you do? It looks like you're laying on I'm all good.
That's what I do when I have to pick my nose.
I'm moving out of the way. I'm like, I on
a second, I want to do something weird or like.
It turns to that immediately immercial breaks. Is that what's
(04:59):
going on? When we the screens start changing? Oh that's awesome.
That's good to know. So you're you're either rubbing one
or picking one out, rubbing one out. Nobody said rubbing
one out. Probably could be doing that right now. So okay, Garrett,
now I'm hands free show. Okay, we're we going to
(05:20):
talk about today. You know what? Hold on? So did
you know that today's National Underwear day, and so it's funny.
So I lay my clothes out the night before because
I don't want to disturb Lisa sleeping in the morning.
But last night I was in such a hurry to
go to bed that I forgot to put underwear out.
So this morning I had to you know, no underwear
it until Lisa woke up. And so I woke up
and I see diamond sends an email that says it's
(05:42):
National Underwear Day. But I had no wonder we're on, Like,
what are the chances of all days? No, we're underwear
It's on National Underwear Day. But I have since fixed
that problem. Oh good to know skid marks and shorts. Dude,
Come on, No, I have the tushy rose, no skid
marks anymore. Oh wait before hold on a second, hold on,
(06:07):
Nate Brody, scary Garrett. Are you guys willing to admit
that sometimes you can't. Sometimes you don't get all the
clean up undone on the aisle, and every now and
then there will be a little mark or two. Well,
I you know, I used to have that problem, but
now I use I use these wet wipes. Do you
guys don't have flushable like them? You're really not supposed
(06:31):
to flush the flushables. They're not good to flush. No, yes,
they say fleshable, but technically they say they're not good
to flush. You can call it things and it says
it's edible. You shouldn't really eat it. Just google it, guys,
Google it. Don't flush the flushable, So what are you
supposed to do with it in the garbage? You're a
(06:55):
pile of shit? Oh my gosh, I thought you have.
If you've got the trush youwhere though? Right? I had
to tell you have a choice between a skid mark
or flushable. Right, it's going down the Okay, now let
me ask you a question. Wait, wait, wait, wait, so
(07:16):
why what is now our ask? Okay, we have different
parts men and women when it comes to the front.
When it comes to the back, we all have the
same parts. Gandhi and I don't have any kind of
skid marks on our underwear. So what makes us different
from men when you've got the same thing going on
back there? Okay, go ahead. The difference between men and
(07:43):
women as men admitted, women law about him, candy, don't
do it? No, sorry, I tell you you know, I'll
tell you anything. Flush, flushable wipes, like, they're called flushable
wipes for a reason. Yeah, did you're not supposed to
Let me look at this. The money to invent those things,
and now you're saying they failed. Now, I understand if
(08:03):
you're on a septic tank, maybe you can't do it,
because that's bad. But if you're on a sewer city,
the sewer line and they're flushable, they was I think
they disintegrate in water eventually, says they may be called
flushable wipes, but wastewater experts say you should not flush them.
They don't break down. Instead, they clog pipes and they
cause major damage. Do you take the flushables to put
(08:27):
them in a styrofoam container and you throw them out?
That's great. I'll take it a step further. I think
you guys have probably been to a country that they
don't flush toilet paper period. So I can't remember where
it was, but they had a bin next to the toilet,
and I'm like, what's this. It doesn't look like a
trash can, Like, oh no, you have to put your
(08:48):
toilet paper in there, like shitty toilet papering. Gross. Yes,
they do it in certain countries. Yes, Garrett, we have
like these very organic esque friends. So when we had
our first when we had Hudson, our first kid, they
gave us were usable diapers, re usable expecting us to
(09:13):
use reusable diapers, and the ones that you wash, Yeah,
the ones you're supposed to like after they're putting that
in my washing machine and you gotta washing machine pull
of ship wash my clothes in there later. Oh yeah, sure,
but they're but they're cheaper, and they're they're better, and
(09:34):
they're more because diapers are expensive. Diapers are expensive. Would
you open the lid of your washing machine and take
a ship in there? And no, okay, then that's what
you're You're supposed to clean the poop clean in the toilet.
You put some of it in the toilet and put
(09:55):
it in people. Oh men, man, then they're lazy. That's
why they have skid marks, because they're lazy. Yes, I said,
According to Danielle, you don't put dirty clothes in a
washing machine, right, you clean? What I said? Just pipe
(10:15):
brown and black underwear. They don't have to worry about
kid marks anymore. That's a good point. Now I know
too much about you. Is this a free as is
a free for all free form thing? Here? Or no.
I guess no, no, somebody, everybody put your seatbelt on.
Holy shit, I gotta complain. They're like to ask that
(10:39):
after we've been talking about it was a critique. They've
been watching these and again, if you're listening to this podcast,
know that the video version is available. Do we have
a Brady Bunch style thing going on? Zoom? Now here's
the thing I'm They said, Scary, you look like you're
half asleep. You're slouching. I'm gonna play your mom for
for this and say, just stand up straight and open
(11:02):
your eyes now listen. I can't help the fact that
my the over part of my eyes blocks out the light.
So I just want to let you know that my
eyes are open. I am interested, I am paying attention,
and I guess I'm gonna do this. I'm just gonna
put Is that better? Should I do the podcast like this?
From that one? Look, my eyes are open. Nothing's changed. Terrifying.
(11:22):
It looks like they're cling scary story. But I don't
know how to solve that problem. I don't know anything else.
You guys want to come anybody else get disappointed. I
was hoping Scary was going to say something really fucking
inappropriate that. Yeah, I'm really that was boring. Yeah, free
for all. You look like you're sleepy. Move on. Hey, guys,
(11:44):
I have a question. This morning, around the first hour
of The Shelf, first fifteen minutes, you were talking about
something Scary wanted to talk about, but it was so bad.
You said it was too bad for the morning. No, no, no,
we can't. We can't. We can't can't it's so bad.
(12:04):
You know what it's Yeah, it's funny. So we were
asked to do some birthday videos for Elvis and whatnot,
and so I'm like, they are like certain memories that
I'm not allowed to mention on this birthday video. So
I had to go through and think, and I thought
to myself, like, there are so many things that we
do and say that are off limits and I would
(12:26):
never be able to repeat anywhere publicly ever. So no,
that was one of those moments that we cannot repeat publicly.
What we were talking about with Scary. It was funny,
but we're not but but we can't repeat it. Yeah,
we can't talk about when the alarm company called. We
can't talk about that either, right, you can talk about that? Yeah,
(12:47):
the Elvis is thea moment ahead and in the middle
of the show, go ahead, bro do you tell the story? No,
I don't think I want to be able one to
do it. You brought it up, You've brought it off.
You brought it up. Okay, So the Elvis is Elvis
is Are you sure? He said, we can talk about this.
(13:09):
This is fine, okay, Elvis is home. Elvis's home alarm
company called during the show like three or four times,
and they demanded to speak to him because he has
the code to shut the alarm off and nobody else
could talk to them. So in the middle of the
show he went into the other studio, um, and he said,
what do you want to know? And they said, your
(13:31):
alarm went off? And apparently they said which house and
and so they said New Jersey and then he said
which one? So he got he said, because they couldn't
identify which house, so they narrowed it down to New
Jersey where at the time he had two Yes, that
(13:55):
was David Brody. Yeah, but that wasn't really wanted to talk. No, no,
it wasn't just Scary, though all of us had an experience.
Was what Scary was talking about, which I think probably
ended up making it worse. And they were funny stories,
but the stories we can't tell. Brodie. We did talk
about it on the Brooken Boys podcast at great length.
(14:18):
Oh what people can listen. I'm not going to say
something that you and I covered in the last couple
of months. That's all Brodie. And it had nothing to
do with right, okay, never mind, we got fifteen seconds.
Well it's great fifteen minute morning show and until the
(14:40):
next one, maybe Elvis will be here, maybe he won't
be but I had a good time with you guys.
Are you too? If minute morning Show m
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
minute morning show. Hey, it is the fifteen minute morning
Show and I'm done. I'm done. Sorry, I Elvis, I'm done.
(00:27):
I know how Elvis feels. Now you host the show
the entire day. You don't want to have to talk anymore.
This is exhausted. It wasn't that bad, you guys. You
guys really helped carry load. So thank you so much.
You did a great job. Well, now everybody chips in.
I think everybody jumps in, and I gotta say, it
was so much easier hosting than I thought, because everybody's
remote from their home and it's just difficult to have
(00:50):
some sort of connection exactly like like that right now,
trying to figure out when somebody's going to talk and
when somebody's done talking and what they're going to say.
But you guys are awesome, So thank you so much
for for making this a team effort. I'll keep going, Nate,
I'm almost there, keep going, keep going. Oh my god,
(01:11):
is that a call back to esterday? You need five
more seconds now? Okay, so you see everybody with us
in the zoom room. If you're listening to this, then
do you here's who's here, Froggy and Nate and Danielle
and Scotty b and of course Gandhi and Garrett and
(01:31):
I believe David Brodie can finally hear us. I can
hear you? Can you hear me? Only through the phone,
only through the phone. So that's that. It's good. Look
at Brodie's pool. He's got a nice cool dude. What
is all cleaned up? Did you already clean up everything? Yeah?
It took me an hour and a half yesterday to
get the forest out of my bowl. Nice, I have
(01:52):
treats over the pool. Wow. That class problem. Got to
clean up. It's the first world problem. What am I
gonna do? Clarence, what are we gonna do? We gotta
come out of the pool. This is the absolute first
time seeing Brodie's pool, and the last time as podcast
(02:18):
partners that I would have seen his pool sooner than
today in a zoom room. He thinks you're dripping in
the VIDs. Yeah, of scary dripping in the vid so
earlier in the show A big show and the on
demand show if you want to listen to that podcast.
Scary at some point starts beat boxing. Uh so, Froggy
(02:39):
can wrap and It wasn't until we went to commercial.
I'm like, holy sh it, I'm covered in scary spittle,
so covered in coronavirus. Plaining what a beatbox is first
of all, So a beatbox is when you make the
music with your mouth, requires get right up onto a
microphone and doing something and like no, no, no, plays
(03:06):
the hits on his birthday. I hope he doesn't get
the ships was supposed to go. It never made it
to air that way. Hey, can I answer a question?
How far are you sitting from him that his spittle
is reaching? Okay, Mr drama queen over here, the damn
(03:29):
it flies. It flies, You can go at least scary.
There's no way that I'm hitting it from me. It's floating,
looking room is filled with COVID. You really think that
I can't shoot my shot that far? Oh hello, let's
call back to yesterday too. We're not going back to yesterday.
(03:51):
Let's call Robin and ask her. You know what Scary
was saying earlier that we were talking about another person
who's in the building and it's scarious, Like, oh, person,
that person is way worse than me. They show no
care for the bid. I'm the I am I am
the safest person around compared to this person, And I'm like,
how bad must they be? Like what are they doing?
Because every time I see Scary, he's out and doing stuff.
(04:14):
So what is this person doing that is so much worse?
They're like hanging out in the coronavirus wary looking homeless people.
That's what he said. By the way, this is going
this is going on. We have a p o V
of Brody dead. Yeah, I'm good, I'm good. What do
(04:36):
you do? It looks like you're laying on I'm all good.
That's what I do when I have to pick my nose.
I'm moving out of the way. I'm like, I on
a second, I want to do something weird or like.
It turns to that immediately immercial breaks. Is that what's
(04:59):
going on? When we the screens start changing? Oh that's awesome.
That's good to know. So you're you're either rubbing one
or picking one out, rubbing one out. Nobody said rubbing
one out. Probably could be doing that right now. So okay, Garrett,
now I'm hands free show. Okay, we're we going to
(05:20):
talk about today. You know what? Hold on? So did
you know that today's National Underwear day, and so it's funny.
So I lay my clothes out the night before because
I don't want to disturb Lisa sleeping in the morning.
But last night I was in such a hurry to
go to bed that I forgot to put underwear out.
So this morning I had to you know, no underwear
it until Lisa woke up. And so I woke up
and I see diamond sends an email that says it's
(05:42):
National Underwear Day. But I had no wonder we're on, Like,
what are the chances of all days? No, we're underwear
It's on National Underwear Day. But I have since fixed
that problem. Oh good to know skid marks and shorts. Dude,
Come on, No, I have the tushy rose, no skid
marks anymore. Oh wait before hold on a second, hold on,
(06:07):
Nate Brody, scary Garrett. Are you guys willing to admit
that sometimes you can't. Sometimes you don't get all the
clean up undone on the aisle, and every now and
then there will be a little mark or two. Well,
I you know, I used to have that problem, but
now I use I use these wet wipes. Do you
guys don't have flushable like them? You're really not supposed
(06:31):
to flush the flushables. They're not good to flush. No, yes,
they say fleshable, but technically they say they're not good
to flush. You can call it things and it says
it's edible. You shouldn't really eat it. Just google it, guys,
Google it. Don't flush the flushable, So what are you
supposed to do with it in the garbage? You're a
(06:55):
pile of shit? Oh my gosh, I thought you have.
If you've got the trush youwhere though? Right? I had
to tell you have a choice between a skid mark
or flushable. Right, it's going down the Okay, now let
me ask you a question. Wait, wait, wait, wait, so
(07:16):
why what is now our ask? Okay, we have different
parts men and women when it comes to the front.
When it comes to the back, we all have the
same parts. Gandhi and I don't have any kind of
skid marks on our underwear. So what makes us different
from men when you've got the same thing going on
back there? Okay, go ahead. The difference between men and
(07:43):
women as men admitted, women law about him, candy, don't
do it? No, sorry, I tell you you know, I'll
tell you anything. Flush, flushable wipes, like, they're called flushable
wipes for a reason. Yeah, did you're not supposed to
Let me look at this. The money to invent those things,
and now you're saying they failed. Now, I understand if
(08:03):
you're on a septic tank, maybe you can't do it,
because that's bad. But if you're on a sewer city,
the sewer line and they're flushable, they was I think
they disintegrate in water eventually, says they may be called
flushable wipes, but wastewater experts say you should not flush them.
They don't break down. Instead, they clog pipes and they
cause major damage. Do you take the flushables to put
(08:27):
them in a styrofoam container and you throw them out?
That's great. I'll take it a step further. I think
you guys have probably been to a country that they
don't flush toilet paper period. So I can't remember where
it was, but they had a bin next to the toilet,
and I'm like, what's this. It doesn't look like a
trash can, Like, oh no, you have to put your
(08:48):
toilet paper in there, like shitty toilet papering. Gross. Yes,
they do it in certain countries. Yes, Garrett, we have
like these very organic esque friends. So when we had
our first when we had Hudson, our first kid, they
gave us were usable diapers, re usable expecting us to
(09:13):
use reusable diapers, and the ones that you wash, Yeah,
the ones you're supposed to like after they're putting that
in my washing machine and you gotta washing machine pull
of ship wash my clothes in there later. Oh yeah, sure,
but they're but they're cheaper, and they're they're better, and
(09:34):
they're more because diapers are expensive. Diapers are expensive. Would
you open the lid of your washing machine and take
a ship in there? And no, okay, then that's what
you're You're supposed to clean the poop clean in the toilet.
You put some of it in the toilet and put
(09:55):
it in people. Oh men, man, then they're lazy. That's
why they have skid marks, because they're lazy. Yes, I said,
According to Danielle, you don't put dirty clothes in a
washing machine, right, you clean? What I said? Just pipe
(10:15):
brown and black underwear. They don't have to worry about
kid marks anymore. That's a good point. Now I know
too much about you. Is this a free as is
a free for all free form thing? Here? Or no.
I guess no, no, somebody, everybody put your seatbelt on.
Holy shit, I gotta complain. They're like to ask that
(10:39):
after we've been talking about it was a critique. They've
been watching these and again, if you're listening to this podcast,
know that the video version is available. Do we have
a Brady Bunch style thing going on? Zoom? Now here's
the thing I'm They said, Scary, you look like you're
half asleep. You're slouching. I'm gonna play your mom for
for this and say, just stand up straight and open
(11:02):
your eyes now listen. I can't help the fact that
my the over part of my eyes blocks out the light.
So I just want to let you know that my
eyes are open. I am interested, I am paying attention,
and I guess I'm gonna do this. I'm just gonna
put Is that better? Should I do the podcast like this?
From that one? Look, my eyes are open. Nothing's changed. Terrifying.
(11:22):
It looks like they're cling scary story. But I don't
know how to solve that problem. I don't know anything else.
You guys want to come anybody else get disappointed. I
was hoping Scary was going to say something really fucking
inappropriate that. Yeah, I'm really that was boring. Yeah, free
for all. You look like you're sleepy. Move on. Hey, guys,
(11:44):
I have a question. This morning, around the first hour
of The Shelf, first fifteen minutes, you were talking about
something Scary wanted to talk about, but it was so bad.
You said it was too bad for the morning. No, no, no,
we can't. We can't. We can't can't it's so bad.
(12:04):
You know what it's Yeah, it's funny. So we were
asked to do some birthday videos for Elvis and whatnot,
and so I'm like, they are like certain memories that
I'm not allowed to mention on this birthday video. So
I had to go through and think, and I thought
to myself, like, there are so many things that we
do and say that are off limits and I would
(12:26):
never be able to repeat anywhere publicly ever. So no,
that was one of those moments that we cannot repeat publicly.
What we were talking about with Scary. It was funny,
but we're not but but we can't repeat it. Yeah,
we can't talk about when the alarm company called. We
can't talk about that either, right, you can talk about that? Yeah,
(12:47):
the Elvis is thea moment ahead and in the middle
of the show, go ahead, bro do you tell the story? No,
I don't think I want to be able one to
do it. You brought it up, You've brought it off.
You brought it up. Okay, So the Elvis is Elvis
is Are you sure? He said, we can talk about this.
(13:09):
This is fine, okay, Elvis is home. Elvis's home alarm
company called during the show like three or four times,
and they demanded to speak to him because he has
the code to shut the alarm off and nobody else
could talk to them. So in the middle of the
show he went into the other studio, um, and he said,
what do you want to know? And they said, your
(13:31):
alarm went off? And apparently they said which house and
and so they said New Jersey and then he said
which one? So he got he said, because they couldn't
identify which house, so they narrowed it down to New
Jersey where at the time he had two Yes, that
(13:55):
was David Brody. Yeah, but that wasn't really wanted to talk. No, no,
it wasn't just Scary, though all of us had an experience.
Was what Scary was talking about, which I think probably
ended up making it worse. And they were funny stories,
but the stories we can't tell. Brodie. We did talk
about it on the Brooken Boys podcast at great length.
(14:18):
Oh what people can listen. I'm not going to say
something that you and I covered in the last couple
of months. That's all Brodie. And it had nothing to
do with right, okay, never mind, we got fifteen seconds.
Well it's great fifteen minute morning show and until the
(14:40):
next one, maybe Elvis will be here, maybe he won't
be but I had a good time with you guys.
Are you too? If minute morning Show m
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