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October 20, 2020 17 mins

We welcome Elvis back and play a game of 'Butt Hurt', we learn a LOT about each other!

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
present minute morning show. Look, we have a company. You

(00:24):
got a good attitude, I got a window. Oh my god, rinky, scary. Hey,
thank you guys for filling in on the fifteen minute
Morning show podcast yesterday. While I was taking today off.
What did you guys talk about? I saw the word
sperm somewhere? What was that? Yeah? What? What exactly what
was that about? I don't know. I'll tell I'll tell
the story again as quickly as I can. UM in

(00:46):
answering text messages that are asked over and over again,
like how's how's Froggy? How's uncle Johnny? How's Froggy? How's
uncle Johnny? Um? I have a doc file that I
use common responses this wagon copy and paste off, typing
the same thing over and over again. So at some
point everyone was talking about weird Craigslist posts, and so

(01:08):
I found a weird one that I copied and pasted
the U r L into the chat room and slack
so everybody could see it. But by accident, when somebody
asked how Elvis was where's Elvis today? I uh pasted
the U r L and quickly hit send, and it
was a U R L of a guy selling his
sperm stained underwear. So in Elvis today, the response they

(01:34):
got was a guy, a hot guy with his ab
showing in sperm stained underwear, which I thought made sense
in the grand scheme of things, But that was I
was just curious. That's it. That's Elvis Yesterday. Elvis Scary
and I both wore maroon or burgundy shirts. So I
decided to wear blue today, and he's wearing blue today.

(01:57):
But we did not plan this. That's two days in
a row. Okay, Scott he's wearing it too. Scotty's got
the blue. Yeah. I don't think there's anything weird about that.
It happens. It's you know, I'm gonna wear yellow to Scary. Okay. Anyway, Well,
thank you guys for filling in yesterday. All right, um,
what do you want to do? What trouble should we

(02:18):
get into? So many? Does anyone have anything to snitch
out to Elvis about yesterday? I know people love to
do that. I don't think we did anything bad. Everything
was okay, said, yesterday was sort of a somber day.
Somber and sober. Yeah, yeah, I think with everybody, you know,
uncle Johnny's I think we're most on a lot of
people's minds. I know it is on mine. Yeah, well,

(02:39):
Scary eight his feelings all show long. That's true, but
he always does that. That's what happened yesterday. So Scary
gets on here and he's all like fruit toast, blah
blah blah. So bad for you, this is so bad
for you. This is he was food shaming us when
he eats more of that ship than any of using

(02:59):
a piece of styrophone into his mouth, yelling at us
about what we eat. He said, you can't. Nothing should
go into your body or be part of your body.
That ends with an O s E. So we questioned
the nose, so dextros. What happens is what I'll elaborate,
and don't elaborate. You're not really listening, are you. The

(03:25):
thing is is you. You come in and you food
shame us, and then you eat those things. You eat
all the oce as you can find. But then he says,
but if you come to my house and look at
my cabinets, you don't see space at home. I'm very clean.
Door dash the ship out of food. Right then he
admitted he never eats the food in his cabinets. Its scary. Yeah,

(03:48):
And it all started because Scotty be said that he
likes to get the salmon at California Pizza Kitchen and
it just sends people over the edge because they're not
supposed to do that apparently, why not because it's a
pizza kitchen. Really, So this was the argument yesterday. Yeah, yes,
the first time you had to be there. You had

(04:09):
to be there, you had to be there. But they
have all sorts of foods that California Pizza kids. You've
already had this argument. I'm sure something we did it
all right, Well let's start a new argument. Yes, come on, scary.
We're always picking on you. You You pick on someone, just
pick on us, pick on me, pick on you know.
I'm looking around, I'm looking at the various windows. I
don't really see much happening other than you know. I

(04:31):
would like to get a tour of the back of
Danielle's basement though, because we always see it on camera.
I know about the tank, I know this the tonk
is back there, and I we've she shown us what's
behind that curtain, I think. But it's just it's all games. Games,
that's all games, but not we collect Monopoly, so we

(04:54):
have tons of Monopoly games, battleships up there. Let me see.
Oh there's a game called Poopy that's up there. Um,
just yeah, it's awesome games. There's a bunch of stuffed
animals that the kids have, you know, stored. That's cool.
Arts and Crafts. There's an arts and craft schef. Well,
we more than playing them all, we collect them all.

(05:15):
We collect all the limited editions. My son Spencer loves
collecting them. So and Jinga, there's like every Jinga you
could possibly imagine Jinger and you know, there is anybody
up for a round of Yer? But all right, Frost

(05:39):
because we always say, okay, can we just play? The
answer is Froggy because he's not here. Okay, let's start.
Who is the biggest pessimist. Oh, it's the biggest pessimist,

(06:04):
Uh Nate? Why my pessimist? Livery else on the show
is really a pessimist. You can, you can be pessimistic
from time to time. I just cry, you always like
everything's terrible, everything's fallen apart, I'm gonna have a stroke again.
Please don't try to lower people's expectations. I can't. I

(06:26):
don't have to defend myself here. I like, he delivers
bad news and he literally speaks out the side of
his mouth. He'll be like, you don't even want to
he does that in text like I don't know how
he does it, but he doesn't having another stroke. You
see me using half of your face. I guess everyone's

(06:46):
an agreement. Okay, let's go to Gandhi. Then who is
the most arrogant? Arrogant? I gotta say, I know you
guys are gonna hate this. I don't think there are
really egos in this in this room, like I yeah,
I mean when I came here. When I first came here,
I expected everyone to be a bunch of a holes
because I've worked other places and it wasn't New York

(07:09):
and people were still a holes, you know, So I thought, Okay,
in New York is gonna be worse and it hasn't.
Mean if I had one of your former shows, nice,
I feel like, if you just look at all the shows,
you will know um um. I would I guess if
I had to pick one person, I would just say
Elvis because he's the head of the show so and
I do have a of arrogance. See, I would pick Nate,

(07:30):
because he's always like, I'm so beautiful. I forgot about
that part, Danielle. Who is the worst liar, the worst
liar in this room? Um? You not? Yeah? Oh yeah,

(07:51):
you'll tell it. You. I think you do it to
protect us though, a lot of times, but I sometimes
I'm like, dude, he's so fucking lion tas man. That's both.
He's covering this ship up, like I smell the turn
in the box, Danielle. I think we all know to
Brody comes in close second because he'll be in the
room and then all of a sudden, he doesn't know
how to change the subject quick enough, and it's so

(08:11):
obvious that he's changing the subjects Nate. But it's true
what I say. There are betimes I'll be out of
the studio when we were in the studio, and I'll
walk in and I can see a conversation going on,
and you will bark out loud, Oh my god, orange

(08:32):
is my favorite color. What are you guys talking about? Nothing?
Right that I care about your feelings, Elvis, Well, I know,
but it's just, you know, it's pretty obvious that there's
something's going on. You know what, Sometimes no one is
talking about you, and then you come in and you go,
I know you're talking about me. So it's not always

(08:53):
is that arrogant didn't. Let's continue with Scotty b oh Gotti.
Who is least likely to pay you back money that
they borrowed? No? Uh, looking in this window. Um, I'm

(09:14):
gonna damn it, I don't know. Um, he's been really
good about it because everybody has been paying me for
the free money phone taps, and we've been paying for
it ourselves. Even Brody gave me the four dollars right away. Um,
I'm gonna. I'm gonna say Elvis only because he always
has a thousand things on his mind and sometimes he forgets,
like he owed me forty bucks for duncan one morning

(09:35):
and it took him six weeks to pay me. But
I know it's it's not. It's not because he's cheap.
He just forgets. So I'm just gonna say Elvis for
that reason. Okay, answer because I have no no brain cells,
no memory. Let's go with Let's go with right, who

(09:55):
is most likely to get so drunk they puke. I'm
uh Scotty. Scotty's a off of one bud light like
like every time. And and the thing with Scotty too,
he's also a truth teller. After like one bud light,
so we'll sit there and then in two stories come

(10:17):
out out of nowhere and like, Scotty, seriously, you shouldn't
be sick. It's fine, don't worry about it. And then
by the end of the night, he's the talk of
the party. Every time we go to dinner, I could.
I could almost tell every story that he's gonna say,
knowing that he's drinking a bud light, and that is true.
But it usually takes me too. Sometimes three. I will
throw up after four. But you know, if he hits four,

(10:39):
he rarely hits four, like after the first, like the
first half of one, he goes, oh boy, it's gonna
be a rough one, all right, Elvis. Yes, who in
this zoom room would smuggle drugs in their ass? I might?

(11:00):
I feel like I have way better hiding spots than that,
because that's the go to. You got to have better places.
Send them to yourself, mail them to yourself. I'm just kidding.
Don't do that. That's illegal, that's a federal crime. Don't
do that works in a prison. I'm amazed at the stuff.
He tells me people are able to fit upside up there.
But it's mind blowing. Bro. Did you say wives, Yeah,

(11:28):
a cell phone is smaller than a fist Danielle, Okay,
but say like my fist up my ass either. So
I mean it says a lot about Scottie. I've seen things.
I've seen things when they say, like nine baggies of
heroin that were this big, we're found in someone's But
I'm like, but how what did you do before you

(11:50):
put that in there? Oh? My god? They must have
done like the was the thing where you do a colon, colon, colonic, colic,
a colonic first, because you guys are throwing terms that
really don't apply to anything we're talking about. When you
call colonoscopy guy, they don't barely even open you up

(12:12):
for that. They clean you out every room for that's
a colonic, but they don't know, but they don't open
you up like a tunnel. I've been opened up and
I passed it down. It's a tube. Yeah, I've been
opened up and I've passed out in the butt. They
opened up your butt. It was yeah, I don't even
think it was that why, but it was. I helped

(12:33):
you off the floor. You were fine? All right? Here,
I'm gonna give you this. Who in this zoom room
is the most out of shape? Well? And you can't say,
you can't say you, But it is him. It's the
obvious answer. It's the obvious answer. We would have to be,

(12:58):
would have to be. I mean, I don't know, why
would help to pick up out of a chair. You know,
you shut me up for fucking misery. There that's the game.
I mean, what do you want me to say? Wait, Nate,

(13:19):
don't you have to ask yourself a question? Oh? Yeah,
I'll get to it. Yeah to him? Well, Sam just
joined us, Sam, Sam the most out of shape? Right Sam,
here's a question we're doing but hurt in this zoom room?
Who masturbates the most? Oh my god? Why you even

(13:46):
you knew the answer was you? That's why you said.
I just think that everybody else in here won't admit
to anything. I don't know, Scotty, Come on, we all
know we do it. I do it, just not more
than you know. But why would you say something like that?
What proof do you have? Like? You know what? Scott

(14:07):
is the most vocal about it, so therefore he's the
one we think of first. He still has a box
up in his attic of all the porn that he
had over the last twenty years. Yes, he does listen.
But wait a second, I would. I don't want to
say this though, because he's gonna get mad at me. No,
I won't get mad at you. Don't not you, not you?
I would, I would say brody, but he was. Why

(14:32):
did not that? Wait? Wait? Wait, wait? Can I tell
you why? Because he is the first person to tell us.
Whenever we say, hey, how much sex are you getting?
He tells us none. So when you think about somebody
not getting any, you gotta take care of business somehow.
So that's why I think they Danielle, even I don't

(14:54):
want me stuff. Imagine that conversation you want to. I
had a headache last night, a little blow. Where's your question, mate, Well,
I guess I go last mine is who is the laziest?

(15:15):
And I guess since since Scary City he gets tired
while watching TikTok videos, I think the answer is scary.
So outside of work hours, I may be the laziest
because I'm pretty much inside. I go home and I

(15:35):
laid down and I rocked as I tell you I
was talking to Scary on the other day and I go,
what happened? He goes up dropping my phone on my face.
He was I was let in back, mate. Made in
the four hours of the show, has Scary stood up
once to get food? To get food? Yeah, an eminem

(15:57):
that rolled across the bay and we were about to
wrap this up here. People think people think that that
that that picture that Nate posted me the other day
on Elvista Rancho's Instagram was my real stomach because I
was putting my shirt. You guys were trying to get
me the stretch my shirt over my knees. And it's

(16:20):
a typical case of people looking at a picture and
not reading the caption. Okay, so I my stomach is
not that big picture. It was like, slimer stomach. You're
sucking it in, Scary, don't suck it in my stomach.

(16:41):
Did you guys get the photo of Scary on the
airplane of sleep? I send it to you, guys. I
think you said it. Send me and Scary yesterday. It's
a montage of a sleeping on the airplane sleeping. Oh god, terrible.

(17:02):
That's an awful, awful picture. Please, that's an old old picture.
I gotta go to you. Of course, we gotta go
because you send it, send it, You're part of the love. Goodbye,
gotta go, Master Me, The fifteen minute Morning Show

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