June 7, 2021 • 12 mins
Do you have your own favorite insults? Also would you eat a sandwich that a squirrel touched?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firm Elvis Show. All right, let's start this motherfucker is
kind of what I wanted to get into today. I
(00:24):
want to know what is your favorite insult to call someone? Like,
what's your favorite thing? Like? Elvis asked, Okay, stop, So
my favorite is Elvis called me this one time, like
five six years ago, and I thought it was the
funniest fucking thing. He was angry at me and called
me this name and I couldn't stop laughing in his face,
and he called me a dick hole. I thought it
(00:46):
was the funniest because it is such a descriptive thing.
I never would have thought about that insult, and I
use it all the time now, anytime somebody pisces me off.
Dick hole. You know, I just love that. So what
what are your favorite? Well? Oh, there are so many
were not allowed to use. You guys told me I
(01:06):
wasn't allowed to ever say it, not even in the
zoom room. It's my hybrid word, but I'm not allowed
to say it. Yeah, I think I think I can
see my other one. I'll text it to you, Nate,
and you tell me if I can say it. The
words are I know, I know one is the C word.
The second word slut right, slut, yeah, slut and then
(01:27):
and then now here I'm texting it to you, Nate,
is it slut? Why we're not allowed to say it
rhymes chunt, but it starts with the slut word. Just
FC though I left the case. I think it's very soft.
(01:49):
It's soft when you say it like that, it's fine.
It's almost the word right right. So if you add
dumb in front of it, that's my favorite insult, you
dumb slum. That's what I like. I kind of want
to take a back back. It's not it's not powerful.
That's not that's good. I likes play in my words,
(02:10):
but you like your words. That's what little I hear more.
Elvis selled at me one time, Nate. He called me
a dick bag. Why you gotta be a dig tag.
I'm like, I've read of a bag of dicks, but
never in dick bag balls, I guess. So, I don't
know a number of a number of years ago, I
(02:33):
was in the Mets clubhouse, the locker room, and uh
one of the guys used to pitch for the mats.
He used to pitch for the Yankees, the Marlins, Alt
Lighter grew up in New York. Good guy from hell
across the room. Yeah, I said, to pitch for them all.
I said that, and uh, he called somebody a fox stick.
He's like, shut up your fox stick. So I said,
what is that? He goes, Oh, since I'm a kid,
(02:54):
we all call each other fox stick. So he was
a jingle ball one year in New York and I said, hey,
what's a fox stick? He looked at me, goes, how
did you know that? I said, because you're a fox stick?
And he goes, That's that's what I call people. So
I've never heard that term before, but that's his and
I kind of like it. That's a penis. Thanks Scotty. Thanks.
(03:16):
I like sad it's good, okay, thanks Ed, thank you.
That's them fling to the point I feel Dingleberry is
like very strong too. No, I think that's but but
think about the context of what it is. Yeah, exactly,
it's a hangar on it is. We haven't even gotten
(03:40):
two thirds to the podcast. We're talking about dump well
on Natives. George of the Jungle. See. I tend to
say he's such a fucking douchebag. Yeah, you say that
a lot. Okay, what the fox Scotty? We got called
douche nozzle once? So do you on long trip Scotty? No,
I don't what. Wow, that was inappropriate. I feel like
(04:08):
comes in bottles. I feel like mine is two inside
a lot of people. Wouldn't it just makes me happy?
I don't do that. That's not what I'm calmed down.
I was talking about my favorite insulting Scotty only with
a bottle, you guy? Do you guys saw the movie
(04:31):
super Bad? So William gets this a lot. I always
call him a fucking Fogel, which was one of the characters.
And whenever he's doing something that I think that character
would do. That is the between between that and the
dumb subway guy. I cannot escape those names. Jared and
Garrett Well, Jared Fogel. Oh yeah, no relation, no relation.
(04:57):
By the way, I don't know him. Don't check. Isn't
that a last name? Sounds like it? That was in
a movie? Oh my god? Cool? All right? He would
this podcast have gone this course if Elvis was here, No,
not a shot, because he wouldn't let me say the
(05:18):
word that you all forced me to say so when
this goes south. Not my fault, even though I like
Scott to be to make a list of things he's
offended by, and it thinks he's not offended. But I'm
not offended by anything. Nothing offends me. Oh but come
in the bottle. That's not offensive to me. It's just
I don't do that. Never have bot Yes, yes, absolutely,
(05:40):
and a can and that one was painful, especially God
Brody always the jokes for the joke, Yeah, Danielle, that's
sort of my job. That's all our jobs. Went for
the joke. I'll go for the depression. Did you tell
us another joke? Tell me a joke? Don't jokes? S things?
You are funny from that on your phone? Had it
(06:09):
for years. It's my favorite thing for some reason. It
also says ham like that sounds like scary s. I
don't know, Anne. Oh it has other stuff now too,
(06:35):
and it's not Is that a movie? Horn? Very dramatic.
That's the beginning of the hills by the weekend? Do
it again? Oh kind of? Oh wait, hold on, I
have to go back. We could make a little songs
from this. I don't know what the willhelm is. Do
you guys know what Wilhelm is. No, Oh, that's the
(07:00):
that's me on a roller coaster. The last one I
have his uncle Nick. I don't know what that is either.
Let's see that sounds like Nate a little. I can
(07:21):
do woody woodpecker. Oh. I can also add my own
little sound effects to this and create whatever I want.
So if you guys ever need it, yeah, send him over.
We'll do it. That's all I got. I got nothing else.
Can I'll tell you something weird that happened over the weekend.
It's not it's not. I feel confident in Scotty. This
story will do nothing about poop or whatever. It's a story.
(07:47):
So I still get the newspaper on Sunday because I
like to, you know, to read the Sunday paper, coupon
section whatever. Okay, So I saw when I got up
the newspaper, Amy's like, Scott, please look outside, and then
his paper standing straight up on my driveway, and I
was like, I don't understand. It was the guy like
trying to do the bottle thing and see if you
can get to set. You can't get a newspaper to
(08:08):
stand straight up if you throw it out at window.
So I watched my cameras and the creepy van pulls
up at about four or fifteen throws the paper out
the window. Twenty minutes later, the creepy van comes back
and stops and the guy gets out and he stands
the paper up in my driveway and he drives away.
I I don't understand the logic behind that is creepy.
(08:29):
He's And one time I threw away old Z one
hunter tapes in the garbage, my garbage, and the next
week they were wrapped inside my newspaper in my driveway.
Like I think I should be afraid of this guy.
That was a mess that just that broke all over
the street and the garbageman left them. You guys should
(08:52):
be afraid of my garbage men. My my daughter caught
one of them last week. She was looking out the
window and for whatever reason, the guy was punching the
blue garbage pails back onto people's property, so they he
would dump the recycle pail, toss it in the air
and punch it, and so he broke half the garbage
pails on the street. You have no idea why he
(09:12):
hates recycle pails, but yeah, you got a garbage puncher,
did you see the little fat bulldog that has an
issue with garbage pails. You sent me back, Gandhi. He's
so cute. There's this fat little bulldog that just has
beef with any garbage can he sees, and he butts
his whole body into it and knocks him over. If
you'd like to see, I can show you the video. However,
(09:33):
it's a podcast. Okay, cool, here comes here comes okay,
right over, fuck you a little bitch. As he gets
the garbage. He just has that strut like that, that
over cocky strut. You just have jerk off raccoons that
do that to ours. J Oh god, what are we done?
(09:56):
Can be done? Early? Are you guys done? We just finished?
We have to just finished, just in time. Your favorite insult,
by the way, you jerk off? Oh my god? What
did I miss? Elvis favorite favorite insult to say to someone? Uh,
you know, I don't I don't get into insults. I
(10:20):
think Froggy said their favorites came from you. So really,
what did I teach? You called me a dick hole,
and you called me a dick bag one time. Daniells
is like, go ship yourself. That's but I don't say
that as much as I say, you fucking douche bag,
(10:41):
Amy said that we should get that on the next
morning show T shirts and should say go shoot yourself
with the emoji. I don't know it would sell a lot. Yeah,
you'd be surprised. Did you tell everyone what I had
to do? I had to go clean up trash. The
bears know that Monday's rash day. They come to my
(11:01):
house every Sunday night and have dinner at my trash games.
Are you're not nervous at all that when you're cleaning
up that trash they might be nearby? No, because I
cleaned up during the day. Do you know this happened
to me? I ordered door dash over the weekend U
Chick fil A and we were at a baseball game
and I said, oh good, it'll be there by the
time we get home. When we got home, only half
(11:21):
of it was there because the squirrel got into the
bag and we took the bun from the top of
my chicken sandwiches tollate the chicken sandwich. Yes, perfect, God,
this type of chicken at all the chicken because the
chicken and the other piece of bun was still there.
(11:43):
It was just it grabbed it, opened up the bag,
grabbed the bunton ch. She seems to be She seems
to be alive in cookie chicken right now. You're good.
I still hate it and it was delicious. Good for
you and you cut your carbs. Thank you, squirrel? Did
thank you squirrel? Are we done? Yeah? I think so, Yes.
(12:08):
The fifteen Minute Morning Show
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firm Elvis Show. All right, let's start this motherfucker is
kind of what I wanted to get into today. I
(00:24):
want to know what is your favorite insult to call someone? Like,
what's your favorite thing? Like? Elvis asked, Okay, stop, So
my favorite is Elvis called me this one time, like
five six years ago, and I thought it was the
funniest fucking thing. He was angry at me and called
me this name and I couldn't stop laughing in his face,
and he called me a dick hole. I thought it
(00:46):
was the funniest because it is such a descriptive thing.
I never would have thought about that insult, and I
use it all the time now, anytime somebody pisces me off.
Dick hole. You know, I just love that. So what
what are your favorite? Well? Oh, there are so many
were not allowed to use. You guys told me I
(01:06):
wasn't allowed to ever say it, not even in the
zoom room. It's my hybrid word, but I'm not allowed
to say it. Yeah, I think I think I can
see my other one. I'll text it to you, Nate,
and you tell me if I can say it. The
words are I know, I know one is the C word.
The second word slut right, slut, yeah, slut and then
(01:27):
and then now here I'm texting it to you, Nate,
is it slut? Why we're not allowed to say it
rhymes chunt, but it starts with the slut word. Just
FC though I left the case. I think it's very soft.
(01:49):
It's soft when you say it like that, it's fine.
It's almost the word right right. So if you add
dumb in front of it, that's my favorite insult, you
dumb slum. That's what I like. I kind of want
to take a back back. It's not it's not powerful.
That's not that's good. I likes play in my words,
(02:10):
but you like your words. That's what little I hear more.
Elvis selled at me one time, Nate. He called me
a dick bag. Why you gotta be a dig tag.
I'm like, I've read of a bag of dicks, but
never in dick bag balls, I guess. So, I don't
know a number of a number of years ago, I
(02:33):
was in the Mets clubhouse, the locker room, and uh
one of the guys used to pitch for the mats.
He used to pitch for the Yankees, the Marlins, Alt
Lighter grew up in New York. Good guy from hell
across the room. Yeah, I said, to pitch for them all.
I said that, and uh, he called somebody a fox stick.
He's like, shut up your fox stick. So I said,
what is that? He goes, Oh, since I'm a kid,
(02:54):
we all call each other fox stick. So he was
a jingle ball one year in New York and I said, hey,
what's a fox stick? He looked at me, goes, how
did you know that? I said, because you're a fox stick?
And he goes, That's that's what I call people. So
I've never heard that term before, but that's his and
I kind of like it. That's a penis. Thanks Scotty. Thanks.
(03:16):
I like sad it's good, okay, thanks Ed, thank you.
That's them fling to the point I feel Dingleberry is
like very strong too. No, I think that's but but
think about the context of what it is. Yeah, exactly,
it's a hangar on it is. We haven't even gotten
(03:40):
two thirds to the podcast. We're talking about dump well
on Natives. George of the Jungle. See. I tend to
say he's such a fucking douchebag. Yeah, you say that
a lot. Okay, what the fox Scotty? We got called
douche nozzle once? So do you on long trip Scotty? No,
I don't what. Wow, that was inappropriate. I feel like
(04:08):
comes in bottles. I feel like mine is two inside
a lot of people. Wouldn't it just makes me happy?
I don't do that. That's not what I'm calmed down.
I was talking about my favorite insulting Scotty only with
a bottle, you guy? Do you guys saw the movie
(04:31):
super Bad? So William gets this a lot. I always
call him a fucking Fogel, which was one of the characters.
And whenever he's doing something that I think that character
would do. That is the between between that and the
dumb subway guy. I cannot escape those names. Jared and
Garrett Well, Jared Fogel. Oh yeah, no relation, no relation.
(04:57):
By the way, I don't know him. Don't check. Isn't
that a last name? Sounds like it? That was in
a movie? Oh my god? Cool? All right? He would
this podcast have gone this course if Elvis was here, No,
not a shot, because he wouldn't let me say the
(05:18):
word that you all forced me to say so when
this goes south. Not my fault, even though I like
Scott to be to make a list of things he's
offended by, and it thinks he's not offended. But I'm
not offended by anything. Nothing offends me. Oh but come
in the bottle. That's not offensive to me. It's just
I don't do that. Never have bot Yes, yes, absolutely,
(05:40):
and a can and that one was painful, especially God
Brody always the jokes for the joke, Yeah, Danielle, that's
sort of my job. That's all our jobs. Went for
the joke. I'll go for the depression. Did you tell
us another joke? Tell me a joke? Don't jokes? S things?
You are funny from that on your phone? Had it
(06:09):
for years. It's my favorite thing for some reason. It
also says ham like that sounds like scary s. I
don't know, Anne. Oh it has other stuff now too,
(06:35):
and it's not Is that a movie? Horn? Very dramatic.
That's the beginning of the hills by the weekend? Do
it again? Oh kind of? Oh wait, hold on, I
have to go back. We could make a little songs
from this. I don't know what the willhelm is. Do
you guys know what Wilhelm is. No, Oh, that's the
(07:00):
that's me on a roller coaster. The last one I
have his uncle Nick. I don't know what that is either.
Let's see that sounds like Nate a little. I can
(07:21):
do woody woodpecker. Oh. I can also add my own
little sound effects to this and create whatever I want.
So if you guys ever need it, yeah, send him over.
We'll do it. That's all I got. I got nothing else.
Can I'll tell you something weird that happened over the weekend.
It's not it's not. I feel confident in Scotty. This
story will do nothing about poop or whatever. It's a story.
(07:47):
So I still get the newspaper on Sunday because I
like to, you know, to read the Sunday paper, coupon
section whatever. Okay, So I saw when I got up
the newspaper, Amy's like, Scott, please look outside, and then
his paper standing straight up on my driveway, and I
was like, I don't understand. It was the guy like
trying to do the bottle thing and see if you
can get to set. You can't get a newspaper to
(08:08):
stand straight up if you throw it out at window.
So I watched my cameras and the creepy van pulls
up at about four or fifteen throws the paper out
the window. Twenty minutes later, the creepy van comes back
and stops and the guy gets out and he stands
the paper up in my driveway and he drives away.
I I don't understand the logic behind that is creepy.
(08:29):
He's And one time I threw away old Z one
hunter tapes in the garbage, my garbage, and the next
week they were wrapped inside my newspaper in my driveway.
Like I think I should be afraid of this guy.
That was a mess that just that broke all over
the street and the garbageman left them. You guys should
(08:52):
be afraid of my garbage men. My my daughter caught
one of them last week. She was looking out the
window and for whatever reason, the guy was punching the
blue garbage pails back onto people's property, so they he
would dump the recycle pail, toss it in the air
and punch it, and so he broke half the garbage
pails on the street. You have no idea why he
(09:12):
hates recycle pails, but yeah, you got a garbage puncher,
did you see the little fat bulldog that has an
issue with garbage pails. You sent me back, Gandhi. He's
so cute. There's this fat little bulldog that just has
beef with any garbage can he sees, and he butts
his whole body into it and knocks him over. If
you'd like to see, I can show you the video. However,
(09:33):
it's a podcast. Okay, cool, here comes here comes okay,
right over, fuck you a little bitch. As he gets
the garbage. He just has that strut like that, that
over cocky strut. You just have jerk off raccoons that
do that to ours. J Oh god, what are we done?
(09:56):
Can be done? Early? Are you guys done? We just finished?
We have to just finished, just in time. Your favorite insult,
by the way, you jerk off? Oh my god? What
did I miss? Elvis favorite favorite insult to say to someone? Uh,
you know, I don't I don't get into insults. I
(10:20):
think Froggy said their favorites came from you. So really,
what did I teach? You called me a dick hole,
and you called me a dick bag one time. Daniells
is like, go ship yourself. That's but I don't say
that as much as I say, you fucking douche bag,
(10:41):
Amy said that we should get that on the next
morning show T shirts and should say go shoot yourself
with the emoji. I don't know it would sell a lot. Yeah,
you'd be surprised. Did you tell everyone what I had
to do? I had to go clean up trash. The
bears know that Monday's rash day. They come to my
(11:01):
house every Sunday night and have dinner at my trash games.
Are you're not nervous at all that when you're cleaning
up that trash they might be nearby? No, because I
cleaned up during the day. Do you know this happened
to me? I ordered door dash over the weekend U
Chick fil A and we were at a baseball game
and I said, oh good, it'll be there by the
time we get home. When we got home, only half
(11:21):
of it was there because the squirrel got into the
bag and we took the bun from the top of
my chicken sandwiches tollate the chicken sandwich. Yes, perfect, God,
this type of chicken at all the chicken because the
chicken and the other piece of bun was still there.
(11:43):
It was just it grabbed it, opened up the bag,
grabbed the bunton ch. She seems to be She seems
to be alive in cookie chicken right now. You're good.
I still hate it and it was delicious. Good for
you and you cut your carbs. Thank you, squirrel? Did
thank you squirrel? Are we done? Yeah? I think so, Yes.
(12:08):
The fifteen Minute Morning Show
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