"Fixing" Celia

On the Season Finale of “Shrink This,” Lisa and Nick earn their upcoming hiatus when they attempt to help their long-suffering producer, Celia. From health anxiety and 911 spirals to roommate blowups, Celia has been through it, baby, and our microphone superheroes try to help her through her latest trials and tribulations. Expect ruthless honesty, coaching she’ll definitely ignore, and talk of bras and brain scans. Happily, Celia ends up with a surprisingly useful plan for her to stop stressing and hold onto her friends. It’s therapy-adjacent… with dick jokes.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. This podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
These.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
You need help, You're the problems.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Come on, come down.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Go cleamb take a pill. I think you're insane. Do
what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Oh
my god, we have our work cut out for us today.

(00:52):
We're here. Welcome to get This the season finale of
Shrink This with Lisa Lampinelli. Don't worry. We will be
back with season two whenever the fuck we want to
to ask for the date. Yeah, we will be back
whether we like it or not, because we're under contract
and like, I just got tired. Okay, I'm tired. Yes,
I've been helping so many people.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, and I have to renegotiate mine.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Yeah, you have to see if you get a hundred
for the whole season right now. If they don't give
you one hundred dollars, case I walk. Yeah, you're out
of here, Nick, I'm done. Oh so this is shrink
This the season finale. Don't be sad. We'll have little
treats for you in between before the next season launches.
I'd like to call them teeny meanies, like little messages

(01:37):
to get you through the hiatus, the sabbatical as it were.
So today I'm with no Bloddy.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
That's me. We're going on social They could find me
at nick scopes on Instagram and TikTok. What's up, y'all?
Give me a follow? Do you enjoy the season? If
you did?

Speaker 3 (01:54):
DM make looking for some big dick?

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Have you got a dick pic that was like really nice?
Would you jump on it?

Speaker 2 (02:05):
For sure?

Speaker 4 (02:07):
What was that song they like, jump on it?

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Jam on it?

Speaker 2 (02:13):
I don't know, dude, you jammy. I don't know what
these wraps I would I could. I could as a
straight guy, I could like see a dick picking like,
that's nice. It's a pretty penis. That's nice.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Except what's weird is I am technically straight, but I
don't like the look of a cock.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
I mean, some are ugly. Dude. I have a buddy though,
with the nicest one.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
Really it's like white but shout.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Out what's up? Brian White. Whenever we would go out together,
the bars would be Pean next together at the Urn,
and I would be like, it's just good looking.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
What makes it good looking? Because I don't.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
It's just like smooth, not lout of veins.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
Yeah, the veins are throw it's a good color. But
what's weird? Some gay guys like the veins. From what
I hear, everybody has different tastes, you know.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, Celia, what do you like cocaine wise?

Speaker 3 (03:01):
Oh, she's stymy. All of a sudden, she's speechless. Well,
that's why her other auspicious occasion. We're we're going out
on a bang for season one. Now. We decided, okay,
we've been teasing for weeks that we're going to do
a Fixing Celia episode. That is, of course, our much maligned,

(03:22):
completely checked out, non present email doing during the show.
Producer say, Celia, what an introduction.

Speaker 5 (03:34):
Celia?

Speaker 3 (03:34):
We've we've learned throughout the show. What we know so
far is that she's very nice. She no longer answers
emails during the show because she takes a note she
really knows how to do that, No, not at all.
And she's shapely and thin. In her clothes are too baggy.
We did have a talk about that today. You need
to buy interim clothing.

Speaker 6 (03:54):
Please please, I want you to say that to my
mother and father.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Why why is it that they need to do they
need to be informed by your clothing.

Speaker 6 (04:05):
You need to tell them that they need to buy
me new clothes.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Why at your age?

Speaker 6 (04:08):
Because do you not?

Speaker 3 (04:10):
No, stop with the victim mentality. It's true. It's called
getting a part time job. In addition to this eighty
hour week job, it's called going a good will. Now
that you're in the body that maybe there's some things
that fit at a thrift shop. Have someone who's good
at that a K a l L. Go with you

(04:30):
and buy you a broth that fits, buy you some
clothes a bit because you look great. But we can't
see it under that. How you supposed to get dick?

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, if you're hiding what you have to buy a period?

Speaker 3 (04:44):
Just speaking of needing bras Nick, Yeah, I mean look at.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Him, I'll done, honestly.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
Wait, So that's what we know about Celia so far.
Now we have been teasing that we're going to do
a Fixing Celia episode, and she keeps passively aggressively saying well,
and I'm like, okay, we're going.

Speaker 5 (05:07):
To do it.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
And we thought we were going to do it, and
then I received the list of things from Celia that's
wrong with her and I said, it's hopeless. Yeah, you
are broken. We're euthanizing you. Nick called a vet. He's
here with a lethal injection. No, you have some frickin'

(05:32):
list and I have a full four days of coaching
experience under my belt. I am afraid we won't be
able to fix you, but I think we can fix
an issue for you. How does that sound? Yes? Now
my question to you is this, give that the stuff
you sent me honestly their sadness, Like ll got sad reading.

(05:54):
I said, oh, dude, you've been through a lot. Like
I'm not saying you got corn holding in sr will
or anything. Yeah, but I mean it's like everything else.
So tell us a little history of your mental health
so far.

Speaker 6 (06:13):
Okay. So I don't know how to start. Okay, I
might need you to like ask me a question or something.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
Okay. So, so you're a twenty three year old you
were raised where.

Speaker 6 (06:29):
New Orleans and you were.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Raised by what type of people divorce? Well?

Speaker 6 (06:36):
Yes, Italians, but also divorced parents one an addict.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
We're not going to say who are we being vague?

Speaker 6 (06:45):
My father? Oh?

Speaker 3 (06:46):
No, no, are we being vague?

Speaker 6 (06:48):
I don't know if I was just going to but
I don't mind.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Okay, Yeah, I'm sure your father's thrilled about it too.
So you told me at one point this person was
in and out of rehab a lot of times. Yes,
and you have very early memories of going to betty
Ford for a visit. So were your parents wealthy enough
to afford betty Ford?

Speaker 6 (07:08):
My dad, I will brag about him till the end
of the day, like till the end of the earth.
Like he went from rags to riches, worked his ass off.
He went to dental school and started a practice and
was very successful in that, and then got a tumor
in his spine so he couldn't lean over to help

(07:31):
his patients anymore. So he had to give up his practice.
And he didn't have disability insurance or any of that,
so he kind of learned the hard way how important
that is. So he started working in like wealth management,
which then he now does life insurance, disability insurance, and
retirement planning and wealth management.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
So did he get addicted to these drugs when he
had the back problem?

Speaker 6 (07:57):
So I believe so, I honestly, frankly, I don't know
the genesis of his addiction because I wasn't born yet, right,
and I have never asked about it from before I
was born.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
Right. So he needs to write a book called Rags
to Riches to Rehab because this guy has some fucking stories.

Speaker 6 (08:16):
Is he currently in one in a story or in
a rehab rehab not in a rehab in a story?

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yes, okay, all right, So what's condition now? Does he
just kind of keep going in and out and just
falling off the wagon? I don't know.

Speaker 6 (08:31):
I think that it was like that for a long time,
and I don't you know, you never really know, no
matter how much you know a person, you never really
know what they are doing when you're not with them, obviously,
or even when you are with them. So he could
have been on the wagon the whole time and pretended
to have not fallen off, or you know.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (08:53):
I really don't. Yeah, I know what what I've experienced
and seen, and I know that right now, he just
had major surgery almost two months ago now, actually two
months ago today and has been doing really really well
with the medication.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Why do you think you hold your dad in such
high esteem even with these struggles, because I would find
that hard.

Speaker 6 (09:16):
I used to. I think it clicked for me. I
remember when it was. I was in college and I
was talking to my friends about just like addiction in general,
and one person said, and this is so cliche because
I've heard it a trillion times. One person was like,
it's just crazy, how it's like a disease. And I

(09:38):
was like, oh my god, like I've been so mad
at him for so long, Like how could you do
this to me? How could you make my life like this?
When like I don't think he wants it like that either,
you know.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
I don't think anyone volunteers to, you know, have their
life revolve around everything. Yeah, And what I recently heard
a great podcast where they were like, with an addiction,
you have to give up one thing to get everything. Yeah,
but a lot of them give up everything to do
this one thing. But it's so physical, and especially the

(10:13):
physical dependencies and stuff. Yes, so that's all chemical, And
like that's why I always said it certainly wasn't easy
to kick some kind of food problem that's hard, or
codependency or sex and love addiction, those aren't easy, but
at least you don't have to have the chemical kind
of mix up.

Speaker 6 (10:31):
Yeah, I think it's a lot harder when, for example,
you have an addiction to like working out or eating
or something. It doesn't involve something that like chemically alters
or changes you and your being. And also like your
state of life after taking or doing whatever it is
you're addicted to, like you know, you become loopy or

(10:53):
whatever it is, it changes you. So, I mean, he
was addicted to alcohol for a long time that I
don't remember. I was live, but I don't remember. And
then the pain pills became more of a thing because
he has so many surgeries.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Do you think though part of you pedestalizes your father
a little bit? So it's almost a not a love hate,
but almost a extreme thing. First you were obviously really
angry and upset. Then you kind of had this revelation
that Okay, you know it's a chemical disease. It's horrible.

(11:31):
Now it sounds a little bit tipped over, possibly to
the other direction. Do you think it's a little too
far in that direction?

Speaker 6 (11:38):
It definitely could be I think it's more that I
really respect his work ethic and how he like values
money and how he manages it. It's like something I
really look up to and I want to do that
and be able to do that. But also, I mean,
I see how he handles after the fact and I

(12:02):
don't agree with that. And like even my parents' divorce
was really bad and I didn't like the way either
of them handled it, but like notoriously he was bad, Yeah,
like really bad.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Do you think it's just also too, like I've had
this just with my dad in different ways, but like
you're just like it's my dad. You just accept that
at the end of the day, it's my father.

Speaker 6 (12:23):
It's it's a hard thing to like swallow, especially because
I grew up in like a private school bubble of
where we all know each other, you all know what
happens in each other's families yea. And yeah, and like
nobody around me, like no one's no one had what
I had, right, It wasn't a thing.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
Like you didn't know because those those communities are like.

Speaker 6 (12:46):
You would know because the same way they knew about
my situation, like I would have known about theirs.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yea.

Speaker 6 (12:53):
So it was like pretty isolating too, as like a kid.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
How did that manifest? Did you find friendships and vulnerability?

Speaker 6 (13:01):
Hard vulnerability?

Speaker 4 (13:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (13:03):
I would.

Speaker 6 (13:04):
I was always like I wouldn't tell anyone at all,
Like I would just go to school the next day,
like if something happened, like I would go to school
the next day and be like what's up?

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Like yeah, I mean I remember one time my mother
served salad and couldn't find a spoon, so she just
took a fist full of it and put it on
my plate. And I was embarrassed at that. So that's
relatively small. I don't actually, I don't think I've ever
told anyone. It was just like, God, I'm so embarrassed

(13:34):
over that that I've held it in for sixty four years,
just blurted it out now that she's dead. But like,
so I can imagine like kind of carrying this burden.
Did that sort of transfer to you taking on more
burden than a child should?

Speaker 6 (13:51):
I wish there were enough words to like yes, like
yes to the extreme, to the to the most extremes
that you could.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
Yes. Absolutely, So how would that manifest, say, grammar school,
high school, that kind of thing.

Speaker 6 (14:08):
I was just I was always really anxious and fearful.
I was really scared that my parents were gonna die
all the time.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yep.

Speaker 6 (14:17):
Like I remember the first time I went to sleep
away camp. I think I was like twelve. I was
the only person in that camp allowed to call my
parents because I refused to sleep until, like I knew
that my mom hadn't like sent me an email or something.
So I was like, she's dead, and yep, I would
like see in my head like visibly her grave being

(14:38):
doug wow. And so I was like I know it,
like my brain is seeing it. So this is happening,
and I don't know what's going on because I'm not
there and I don't have any communication. So they were
just like, oh my god, Okay, let me call her.
They like, let me call her. And I was fine
after that.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
So what how did that change? Or does that stuff
kind of stick around? Stuck around? Okay? So how would
it manifest itself today?

Speaker 6 (15:14):
That anxiousness so many different ways, Like it's just it's
so much worry, a lot of worry. Like when I
was abroad, that was so hard. I had the great
the greatest time in my life, but it was also
really hard because like I was always checking the New
Orleans like Twitter, checking the car crashes and what was

(15:36):
the license plate because it was it my parents, like
you know, like, yeah, I was just I'm I'm overly
worried about something bad happening.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
Well, it's hypervigilance. Yeah, So vigilance is fine, but when
you're sort of neglected or you have this kind of trauma,
when you're in that hypervigilance, it's just you're living at
this heightened state all the time, your nervous systems all disregulated,
and you're just kind of a mess. And also it's
not a surprise that you love your job because your

(16:04):
job is so high energy and like putting out fires
all the time. So you would be you're one of
these people who hopefully, someday you'll be able to do this.
You would be bored to death with a nice, peaceful.

Speaker 6 (16:20):
Job, a corporate job, I could wait.

Speaker 3 (16:22):
Not corporate. Let's not get like judgy. Oh no, you
if you had a peaceful job that was at a
nice pace, or a nice boyfriend who wasn't dramatic, or
a parent an aunt that you felt safe with, you
would be so fucking bored with them. And the goal
is to work on yourself enough so you're not bored
with a nice, easy life. Yeah, you know, but right

(16:44):
now you're almost rewarded for hypervigilance and for this huge
activity fueled by a bad nervous system. You're rewarded. Oh no,
she's just got a good work ethic. It's like, well, yeah,
but you know, also it makes you sort of that
that's the system you're running on. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (17:04):
And I'd say, honestly, the most recent development, and it's
in horrendous is health anxiety. I was just diagnosed a
hypochondriac last week.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
We would not be friends. I would I have a
friend I have. Actually I'm friends with you obviously because
it doesn't affect me. But I mean, if say a
very close friend was that, I'd have to be like, okay,
I need to not keep my distance, like I hate you.
But it's like, oh well, a little less contact.

Speaker 6 (17:35):
So actually this just happened to me. I have had
an awful past three days.

Speaker 3 (17:41):
Oh okay, so we're.

Speaker 6 (17:45):
Yes, yes, I will give you a prime example. Okay,
had a great weekend, went out with my friends, and
Sunday I get really really bad migraines. I always have,
always have and Sunday, had a normal day, and then
I went home and got a really bad migraine, and
so I was just like riding it out. I told

(18:06):
my roommates, like, I have a bad migraine. You know,
I'm okay, but just I'm in my dark room. Yes,
And eventually a couple hours later, it really escalated to
like the point where half of my like the right
side of my body was numb, and that's never happened
to me. So I got like really scared, and my

(18:27):
mom told me to call nine one one because like
I could be having a stroke. So we called, and
like the EMTs came and they're like, you're not having
a stroke, You're having like a severe migraine. You know,
you can either come with us or you can stay here.
And I was like I'm gonna stay here, signed away
and stayed at home. So I made a follow up

(18:49):
with my primary care doctor the next day just to
be like what's the course of action. I need to
know what to do. And this person was a doctor
I'd never seen before, and she was awful. I like
I started out saying to her. I started out telling
her like I get nervous and I get a little

(19:11):
hyper question, like curious and crazy about this, so just beware.
And then I told her the story and she was
this is how she goes, this is really severe. You
need to go to the er. I think you have
a blood clot or a brain bleed. This was like,

(19:32):
I mean, sixteen hours after the fact of my migrain,
by the way, So I'm like, wait, what like hold
up like reverse the breaks. I'm so confused because I
just all I wanted to know was like what medicine
should I take and what should I do? So I
get off and I'm like I text my roommates. I'm like,
holy hell, Like what the hell's wrong with this doctor?

(19:54):
She's crazy. I know that she's wrong, but there's gonna
be some part of me that's always gonna tell me
like this is a new thing, Like yeah, like when
my head hurts, your you might have a brain bleed
or something, you know, And like one of my roommates
was like, just right, tune it out, like tune it out.
And I'm like, girl, like, how do you tune that
out when somebody just told you like you could literally die?

(20:15):
And then I would just had texted in my group
chat was like if anyone has like OCD hypochondria, like
let me know, or like connect me because it's really
isolating and like I feel like it's just hard to
understand because why would you? And I actually got connected
with a lot of great people. So then my roommate
texted me it was like just all you said this,

(20:36):
I think you have two options. One, write the doctor
off is crazy and watch a movie start fresh. Two
book the scans that she said to book, pay the money,
get the peace of mind, move on. And I was
like I had already booked the scans at that point. Yeah,
and then I just kind of like word vomited and
was like sent like a paragraph of like this is

(20:56):
how my brain works. So like, no matter what if
I have those scan answer, if I know that she's wrong,
I'm still it's still going to creep into my mind
and it's so exhausting. And didn't answer me. And then
the next day at during work hours, I get a
long paragraph text from her saying from my roommates saying

(21:19):
like this is not conducive to our living situation. You're
breaking a harmonious like living situation. I think that like
we need to talk. You should consider iop like all
of intensive outpatient and I was like, wait, I was
like kind of confused as to where it came from

(21:39):
because I didn't know if i'd like that I'd done
something wrong, and so I was like, I'm not going
to talk about this over the film, like we can
talk in person, and so we did, and my feelings
were hurt personally because it was just a lot of
like it was just it's a lot, it's a lot,
and like you know, you do this, you do this,

(22:00):
and like you don't allow other people to have a
bad day and you don't allow like me to have
sad feelings, and like you was just like kind of
laundry list of things that I guess I did wrong. Yeah,
so now I'm like kind of navigating how to live differently.

Speaker 3 (22:19):
What would differently look like for her?

Speaker 6 (22:25):
She said that it for you, Yeah, I didn't like
see like I foresaw a problem with my health anxiety,
but I didn't like feel the need like I didn't
think that like IOP or like any of those things
needed to be involved or brought up.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
But but here's the thing. If a little part of
you didn't think she was a little right, and there's
a little possibility she might be correct, you wouldn't care.
Meaning if I said to you, Celia, I heard this
example on the Minimalist podcast once. If I said, oh

(23:03):
my god, Celia, here's such a chair, you'd be like, okay,
Like I don't even think that's true. So like, no,
if somebody says to me, at least I think you're
a little controlling, like part of me knows I work
on it and I know it's true. So I'm still
gonna get pissed off when somebody tells me. So I
wonder if there's a tiny part of you that is like,
you know, I'm angry and defensive. I get it. And

(23:26):
also she first of all, you gave her too much
power to fix you and advice give from day one.
It sounds like, so she was always giving you ideas,
Suddenly you don't. Suddenly you don't like her ideas, and
you didn't have the boundaries to tell her don't give
me ideas. So a lot of it comes back on
who I taught her how to teach me that she
excuse me. I taught her how to treat me that

(23:48):
she could get away with saying all this. So it's saying, okay, wait,
let me own that we need changes dynamic. Let me
own my part in it, which is I should have
mentioned that to her when she was first giving me
the advice that she shouldn't and then maybe okay, so
what part of any of this sounds a little true.

Speaker 6 (24:09):
Yeah, So it's been like two days now, so I've
had like I've gone to therapy twice, and I like
had some time to reflect. It wasn't necessarily like that
she was that she was wrong. It was more like
I had already told her that and I told her
I'm really working on it. I went back to New
Orleans and saw my psychiatrist and my doctor together and

(24:32):
like we started to make a plan and like I
had already been actively working on it. And it's kind
of just felt like this was selfish because like of
the one time that it maybe perhaps affected her when
the EMTs came, I guess that like that was the line.
The line was drawn.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
Well from what it sounds like, this is just the
straw that broke the camel's back thing. It probably wasn't
the one time, So it's acknowledging that she should have
said something before. When it's we did the episode last
time on resentment so even if it was say a
year ago, but it was a tiny little thing saying ooh,
this is Celia. I'm sorry, but this is starting to
feel like a lot to me.

Speaker 6 (25:11):
Well, that's what and that's what happened. She brought something up. Well,
because then she started listing off what started as concern
like I'm concerned and I'm worried for you, and in
the text in person became you do this, this and this,
and I don't like it right, which is not conducive
to what the original conversation I thought was going to be,

(25:31):
which I could understand, like, you know, I need you
to not talk to me about this because it makes
me uncomfortable. Valid Yeah, but that's not how it ended
up playing out. It So now I just feel like
a little bit of like tiptoeing around my apartment because
and like scared to open my mouth because every single

(25:52):
feeling or like thing that happens.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
But all you did was figure out that this wasn't
the person to go to for this, So it's are
you sure?

Speaker 6 (26:04):
Well it is. Once she started going off about all
these other things that I did wrong, I was like, okay,
so I don't like I can't win for losing you know,
like every single thing that like it was just really
kind of insane, like saying like stuff about my dad,
like oh, I understand that happened, but like sometimes like

(26:26):
you just talk about it too much or like something, which.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
She sounds like she's over it, which, by the way,
there's nothing wrong with people being over it, yeah, because
they obviously they should say something earlier before it turned
into a big thing, and they could still use nonviolent communication,
like if she came to you and said like non
violent communication or conscious communication, if she was like this,

(26:49):
if she was heye, Celia, when you talk to me
at length about your medical problems or emotional problems, it
makes me feel because this is really what it is.
She doesn't know what though. It makes me feel powerless,

(27:09):
It makes me feel sad, makes me feel out of control.
So I would like to ask you to for can
we experiment for a month or so? You taking that
to someone else? Yeah, and is that okay? And you
would have probably said yes because it's a when you do,

(27:30):
it makes me feel and that's vulnerable. But she doesn't
know what she's feeling. She's she's getting angry, she's throwing
anger at you, which I get it. I've done that
a million times.

Speaker 6 (27:41):
She told me scared frazzled, and I forgot that for
the third one.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
But yeah, scared, I mean is valid, you know. But
she didn't sort of then ask you for what she wants.
She should say, you know, can I ask you to
go to someone else for a month? Can I ask
you to make our relationship just for fun for now?
Because sometimes they're just a fun friend. Yeah, sometimes they're

(28:08):
not everything we did those two episodes on friendship, A
friendship has to be like Anna said about a why Yeah,
so why were you guys friends in the first place?

Speaker 6 (28:17):
We've been friends forever? And what's forever like since childhood,
like nursery school.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
Okay, so probably she knows the deal with you. But
if I see someone I've known since childhood, you know,
kind of not progressing in certain areas, I'm getting worried.
And that's what she did.

Speaker 6 (28:38):
Yeah, it was just more of the like it was.
It was a self centered conversation. It wasn't like I
was not a part of it, if that makes sense, Like, right,
it was you do this, and when I get home
from work and you're having a bad day, I feel
like I can't have a bad day. And so I asked,
you know, I'm trying to think back right now on

(28:59):
a time where I had a bad day and you
got home and you felt like you couldn't have your
bad day? Is there an example?

Speaker 2 (29:06):
And she couldn't give you one.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
No, But also you wouldn't know because she might have
hit it all. So it's you're both. She sort of
poisoned it by not being right up front and honest,
I mean resentment that that's just so hard to notice,
it's so quick and to do it. And you guys
have this long history, you might I mean, I don't
think you disagree with the sentence. That is a lot? Yeah,

(29:31):
like you a lot, bitch? Yeah, I don't think you
disagree at least is a lot.

Speaker 6 (29:35):
No, I know, so we have.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
To sort of. I have a friend Amy, who like,
we both have these dogs, Parker is one of mine,
and her dog is Jake, and at one point, like
they both I forget what was happened, and they were
both barking too much or ran away or something, or
we needed a fence or whatever. It's like years ago,
and we just go it's just mean, these fucking dogs
are a lot. Yeah, doesn't mean we don't like them.
But I don't want Parker to die. You don't want

(29:58):
Jake to die. Well, die when they do, but they'd
be a lot. Yeah. So I think we can know
where a lot, and we can know where a lot
for some, but we're not a lot for all.

Speaker 6 (30:11):
Yeah, I think it kind of like and this is
not in her fault at all, but like, sit me
down a spiral, like of me now rethinking all of

(30:31):
my friendships, Like am I some dark selfish cloud over
like all of my friends and like I dismiss all
of their feelings or like you know, like it's but.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
But but instead of doing the spiral is just just
something where you could shift it because now you're just
adding to the a lotanis Oh, so I went down
another spiral so I can allow myself to be even
more of a fucking Yeah.

Speaker 6 (30:55):
But I'm just not talking to anyone because like I
don't I don't know, I don't have friend problems, like
I literally don't.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
Well what wait, what would you clearly do if we're
talking about it? Then welcome to the fucking adulthood when
we actually tell the truth to people where all your friends,
and you might be thinking different things about each other
and not saying them. How would it feel. I'm not
saying you have to do this, You're not going to
do it anyway, and you probably maybe someday. How would

(31:25):
it feel to be like, hey, Joanne, some other random friend.
I know that I bring a lot to the table
in goodness and friendship, and you can count on me
and I can count on you. I do know I
bring a lot with the dramatic content I do. It's
my history. I'd love for you to point it out

(31:48):
to me if we ever have to talk about it
being a lot for you, because I'd love for our
friendship to continue as it is and not have any resentment.

Speaker 6 (31:56):
Yeah, my immediate because you can't, I'm breaking the lease.

Speaker 3 (32:00):
I was like, yeah, but here's your other thought that
you don't listen to what I say. You don't address it,
like I'm literally telling you a solution, and you're like,
I'm back in the least. I'm like, okay, how do
we get there? After the fucking nice little script I wrote?

Speaker 6 (32:13):
Yet I'm in like the my first initial thought, like
my initial.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
Course it is, but why did that come out this second?
It almost feels like with Nick, how when I get
mad at him for like just yelling fuck yeah, when
I'm like talking and like why am I talking? I'm
not getting fucking rich off the iHeart fucking universe. That
It's like, you know, you can't if someone's offering a solution,

(32:40):
It's almost like, do you want a solution. I'm not
saying follow advice. I'm just saying if somebody's in a conversation,
when did that? When did the least thing hit you
and you had to say it?

Speaker 6 (32:54):
I think it was. I think it were you actually
asking me yeah okay. I didn't know if that was
retorting no, when I think it was when when you said,
like when you started to wrap up, I was like,
see that. I in my head, I thought that's great.
What's funny is my initial thought was let's break the least.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Okay, So here's how you can communicate. Make the person
who talked know that you heard it. So if you
had said, yeah, you know that's and then but my
first thought was I'll break the lease. I would have said,
I know that's catastrophizing, and so we'd have a conversation. Yeah,

(33:34):
that the calmness you have to bring to a conversation.
That's what we're talking about, you know. So let's go backwards.
So if you instead of spinning, oh have I been
a burden to my friends? Am I a piece of shit?
And they hate me? How would it feel to say
to somebody, hey man, you know? And I have to

(33:56):
repeat the whole fucking thing again.

Speaker 6 (33:57):
I remember, Okay, so you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
You know, how would that feel to you? And you
don't have to lie and say, oh, yeah, I could
do that or I'm going to do that, because it's like,
how would it feel to be that vulnerable and take
your lumps if you have to.

Speaker 6 (34:11):
I think there's just certain people who I feel I
could do that with and there's certain people who I don't.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
It's the difference between I don't know.

Speaker 6 (34:24):
Actually this is like a thing that I've I have
in my life in general, Like even the same with
like physical touch, Like there's certain friends who like I
can hug and certain friends who I'm like, I don't
ever want to touch you. And like some of my friends,
I will tell them everything, and then my other ones,
I'm like, yeah, there's just something going on with this,
you know, vague.

Speaker 3 (34:43):
So you kind of, but at least you know who
the safe people are.

Speaker 6 (34:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
It's the sad thing also that we kind of thought
this friend was the safe one, or was she?

Speaker 6 (34:53):
It was kind of a middle ground. She's like, objectively
one of my best friends, but she's never been a
person who I go to for talking about like family
problems or just like real world problems because personally, I
never really thought that she like got it.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
Okay, so is it that surprising that she didn't get it?
What you said, You've never been surprised that she didn't
get it?

Speaker 6 (35:22):
Yeah, No, why are we.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Surprised today yet?

Speaker 6 (35:24):
I'm not.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
I was.

Speaker 6 (35:25):
I'm more like mad because like I'm just I'm more like,
wake up, bitch, Like you have to call nine one
one in your life, like we're twenty three. I called
nine one one for the first time when I was six, Like,
wake up that if you think that's really scary, I.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Love this part.

Speaker 6 (35:41):
You love angry you a lot coming for shit?

Speaker 2 (35:47):
She had done private school, bitch too.

Speaker 6 (35:49):
Yeah, I mean it wasn't I called.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
I called the ambulance. When I was my first year
living in the city after college. My friend was over
and I felt like I was having not a heart attack,
but I was like, oh, there's something going on up
in my chest. Oh I called. You know how long
a fucking ambulance takes in New York City and I
ended up my head. Guess I'm like, oh my god,

(36:15):
my friends. Probably, I don't know if we ever talked
after that. She wanted thought I was the dramatic bitch. Exactly.
It was pretty dramatic.

Speaker 6 (36:20):
But still it's just if that's what you need to
do in the moment, then that's what needs to happen,
and your friends should support you for that. Like, I
don't think that that an EMT coming to check on you.

Speaker 3 (36:29):
But that's not the issue. That's the phony issue. That's
the easy one that she's putting. She's really upset because
she cannot meet your needs and she doesn't.

Speaker 6 (36:40):
I never asked for any Yes, but here's the problem.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Yeah, but he shut up. Here's a problem. But no,
I love you, but here's a problem with you receivers.
You never ask for the advice, You never ask for it,
but you don't tell us you don't want it, so
we keep fucking doing it, and then your friends thirty
five years and she breaks up with you during covidrus me. See,

(37:07):
that's what happens Like that this woman I was caretaking
a bit like it sounds like she was doing with
you never said oh I don't want this, I don't
want you fucking bitches. You shoul say yeah, I don't
want advice right now? They always say do you want
a vent? Do you want to just hear her help?
Or do you just want me to you know, the
friends should ask that. So she should have said all

(37:30):
this stuff to you, and I should have said to her,
she should have said, you're becoming a burden. I think
our big fears will be a burden, but I'd rather
be told I'm becoming a burden so I could stop.

Speaker 6 (37:41):
And now I just feel like a burden all the time,
like to all of my friends because like I'm I
don't know if they all secretly like feel that wall.

Speaker 3 (37:51):
That's back to where you derailed the solution before. Would
it feel threatening to individual have a go for coffee
and say, I know this ship is a lot, and
I think I bring a lot to the table friendship wise.
But have I made you feel burdened? I really hope not.

(38:11):
But I'm totally here to adjust our friendship if we
have to.

Speaker 6 (38:15):
Yeah, I actually end up calling one of my like
my actual best best best friend right after.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
You know, I couldn't hate anyone more than doctor Laura
because what she used to do was she would give
people these advices like I give you, and the person
would always say, yeah, I did that, and she's like, well,
if you fucking did it, why are you fucking telling me?

Speaker 6 (38:38):
You know, because I got a really surprising I did it.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
Go ahead, I got it, I did it.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
I think the biggest mistake is you went to a
female doctor.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
I have the biggest take that female friends. All right,
So go.

Speaker 6 (38:58):
Ahead, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (38:59):
I just doctor Lord or Doug Laura and be like, oh,
you tried everything. Then she'd just hang up on the
person I called.

Speaker 6 (39:07):
I called my friend, and I was like, do I
do this to you?

Speaker 3 (39:11):
Like?

Speaker 6 (39:11):
And if I do, I please tell me. I don't
ever want, like I don't ever want what just happened
to happen again with another one of my friends. So
you know, you're my best friend. Is there anything that
I do like that? Do I need to stop ranting?
Do I need to stop you know?

Speaker 2 (39:27):
Calling?

Speaker 6 (39:27):
What is it? And she was like, honestly like like, no,
I I have learned and adjusted that there are times
when you don't want answers, you do not want a solution,
You literally just want someone to be like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's so valid. And she, for her, we just have
an unspoken bond where she's like, I can tell when

(39:48):
you call me like that, it's you know you want
to answer or you really don't want an answer from me,
like you just want someone to listen and I can
tell for you. So I think that was just like
a epathy thing, like we have this great bond.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
But did you also thinking about the other one, the roommate?
Did you? So you knew friends in every category? Then
so can we just relabel what this roommate is to you?
Because you you go, well, now I'm thinking about this
all my friends and yeah, so you're not.

Speaker 6 (40:23):
No, yes, I am. For certain friends.

Speaker 3 (40:26):
Then those are the ones I'm talking about. I'm not
talking about the one you already did it.

Speaker 6 (40:30):
Yeah, but I'm still really anxious about what happened.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
Damn it.

Speaker 6 (40:37):
Now you what, I'm still like really anxious about what
happened because.

Speaker 3 (40:41):
I feel lesson your anxiety. Would you like to know?

Speaker 6 (40:44):
But I just feel Wait, would you like.

Speaker 3 (40:45):
To know how to lessen the anxiety? You just fucking
take action?

Speaker 6 (40:52):
Just I know, I just she left town now, and
I feel I feel annoyed because she got but you know,
like she got the good stuff out of it, do
you know what I mean? Like she could go off
that night and be all happy la la lah, and
I was like in my room crying. And I'm not
saying that that's I'm a victim or whatever, but like
I mean, do you kind of get what I'm saying,

(41:14):
Like she got the good side of it? And I
got like you do this and you do this, and
you do this, and you do this wrong and it
needs to be fixed. Whereas like she got all that
all of her free test.

Speaker 3 (41:26):
What about her needs to be fixed to have the
friendship because we want a solution to this, what about
her and your relationship or her personality needs to change?

Speaker 6 (41:39):
Well I have a lot to say about that, okay.
And the problem is that I felt I couldn't come
come and say my own piece either. And I had
this whole thing written, like not like notes written that
I took when I had my therapy before I met
with her, Like I really prepared and I apologized, and
I fell on my sword, especially about the texting that

(41:59):
I sent her a like listen, that was a moment
of weakness. I did not mean to scare you. I
didn't communicate well and I'm really sorry. And I thought
that was a great job, like you know, I thought
we were gonna be done. And then it was like no,
and so actually and also and I was like wait,
also what But I didn't even get to read my
piece or like say any of the things. And then

(42:20):
I felt like if I did come back and be like, Okay, well,
you know, actually there are some things that you do
that bother me. That's like a tit for tat, Like.

Speaker 3 (42:27):
No, it's a discussion. I don't know, it's a it
didn't have it started off too heightened. Yeah, but then
it could have been a discussion. I've had seven hour
dinners with friends to hash shit out.

Speaker 6 (42:40):
Yeah, because you're just like we have to. You have to.

Speaker 3 (42:42):
Because your common goal is to have the friendship survive.
So what do you take the if she went out
of town, take the few days and figure out just
what do you want from this? Do you want the friendship?
Do you want? Is she just good for fun. Is
she just someone you don't feel safe around at all?

Speaker 6 (43:02):
I'm just angry, like I am so mad. No, like
I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
I don't like it either. Everything you're saying, yeah, like
when you were saying before, like it's tit for tat
like she said, it's just a conversation. But I would
feel the same way where.

Speaker 6 (43:17):
I'm like, I gotta like, I gotta get one up.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
Yeah, I got it.

Speaker 3 (43:20):
But this is why you guys don't understand. I'm twice
your age. Practically, I'm like fourteen times her age. I
know a couple of things. I don't know much.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
You know a couple, but I know.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
That the friendships don't survive without the big, calm, even
tempered talk. And I think she was just splurting out
because she's just felt put upon for a while. And again,
it doesn't matter that it's not your fault. It's not
about assigning blame at this point. It's about going, well,

(43:55):
how can we solve this? And solving might look like
walking away amicably, or it might look like, oh my god,
like let's just like have fucking fun. Like I'm not
gonna vent to you, it's okay, Like who cares and
get out what you're both annoyed with. That's why there
should be is friendship counseling, because like you can actually
do that. I have a couples therapy.

Speaker 6 (44:15):
I also do have a point. She complains all the
fucking time every Sunday. She is going down that spiral.
So I just say, how.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
How can you tell me she's unfixable because she won't?

Speaker 2 (44:33):
How can you?

Speaker 6 (44:36):
How can you tell me like that I am too much,
or that I complain too much, or that I don't
take action when you every Sunday like clockwork and are
spiraling and asking for help when I'm spiraling. I don't
even go as.

Speaker 3 (44:52):
That you're both mentally ill? Yes, therapy what you are?
I know that I doubt she is. It doesn't sound
like she's any kind of therapy.

Speaker 6 (45:01):
I don't know. I just think that there's some scapegoating
going on. I think that they're I.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
Think like scapegoating. And what's the other one that they
gas light? The terms gaslighting cornhauling, Yeah, you need some
cornall shut the fu up. I just think also, Celia,

(45:35):
everyone is not for you, and you are not for everyone.
You're going to be too much for some people. I
have a friend who's a hypochondriac. Like I was saying before,
I rudely got cut off about a half hour ago,
and not by you, Nick for a change. And she
doesn't even know I know she's a hypochondriac. I just

(45:56):
am friendly to her. I don't take the nine one
one text from her. I'm just like, hope everything turned
out okay. So in other words, like I can accept
her for what she is. You need friends who can
accept you. We're all a little fucked up. You just
need her to accept you. But you you then have
to accept her little fucked up inness which was this
thing that she pushed down for all this time.

Speaker 6 (46:19):
Yeah, God, I hope she doesn't listen to this.

Speaker 3 (46:22):
No one listens to this.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Trust me, not one person female doctor other.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
Than my friend Amy with the dog, which I'm glad
I gave. She's gonna die. Literally, this is how good,
wild and good of a friend she is. She's the
type who every Tuesday when the podcast comes out, I
will get a text at eight oh four or something
like that, Oh my god, and you like go down

(46:49):
a list of all the good things about the show
and everything. I mean, she never mentioned you Cilia, which
is you know, because it's only the good stuff, and
uh no.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
That's my fucking that's why we're here today.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
Problem.

Speaker 6 (47:02):
Oh wait, this wasn't to tell I already had one
of those conversations to day.

Speaker 3 (47:07):
It broke me. So I have a question, you're dramatic
told your question. I just want to say, it broke me.
You stop it your generation with this drama. I had
a conversation about Mike's and that baroke me. No it didn't.
You're sitting here, You're alive as far as I can see,

(47:27):
your skinny tits and all are hanging out here. It's fantastic.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
War Day had.

Speaker 3 (47:33):
It rough now, so every I think, just for anyone listening,
including Celia who's not listening book, its just who's a
good girl? Who's a good girl? Sometimes the language, the
dramatic content could be, content could be ratcheted down a little.

(47:57):
How about, oh, Nick, tell me about the my You
don't push the mic on reenact.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
You don't push the mic on quick enough? All right?

Speaker 3 (48:03):
I know I had a conversation about that the other day.
Someone else pointed out, So I'm gonna work on it.

Speaker 6 (48:13):
I was talking about.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
I mean, give her Brad's number.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
Bro, you just.

Speaker 6 (48:21):
All I meant was that you said if you were
telling me, this is more problem with you. I'm saying,
I just had a conversation with somebody who told me fifteen,
and there are problems with the trigger.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
I'm gonna hug you so hard.

Speaker 6 (48:38):
A question, what so what do I do about my roommates?
She's forever and now I have to talk to the
other one and I haven't talked to her yet.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
Take it down. I'm not sorry. I'm gonna ask you
a serious question.

Speaker 6 (48:56):
Where did she go her young alumni weekend?

Speaker 2 (49:00):
It's gay.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
She shouldn't be doing stupid. Nobody likes anyone who goes
back any kind of reunion. Washed up?

Speaker 2 (49:07):
All right?

Speaker 6 (49:08):
Sorry, Sorry, you're.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
Just me Sorry, which I can't. I do too. I
like the anger, but you are this is a little
imbalanced now because you wouldn't allow yourself to get mad
at her before. Now you're fucking furious. Okay, so listen
what I'm just being funny.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
You know you're a microphone tough guy.

Speaker 6 (49:25):
All right, This is actually how I do talk to,
like talk with my friends in real life.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
You just need to get over the hurt first.

Speaker 3 (49:33):
Yeah, like a hurt right now instead of I mean,
you know, angers they say is a secondary emotion. I
don't know if I agree, but the anger is high
hiding the sadness over the Oh this person thinks I'm
not iconic.

Speaker 6 (49:46):
It's embarrassment, low key like I feel like embarrassed.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Wait, here's the question, where else in your life has
this oh so and so is embarrassed of me? Shown up?

Speaker 6 (49:58):
Oh no, I didn't feel that she was embarrassed of me.
I feel embarrassed that she like called me out on
like ten different things.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
So why are you embarrassed? I don't you believe them?
Part of you believes them.

Speaker 6 (50:12):
No, I feel embarrassed because I think that like normally,
I'm normally like the roommate who like I don't they
don't have no problems with me, like I'm I don't.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
Really. Well, guess what that's a false that's a false
identity that it's not you. Yeah, because that's a sadness
of like, oh gosh, I'm not the lowest maintenance gallon
the world. Daddy.

Speaker 6 (50:32):
Well, I do know that.

Speaker 3 (50:33):
No, no, no, but no, you liked being the one
that no one ever has a problem with, So I
can fix it, you know, so you now your little
identity that you've built up, like I get along with everybody.
It's just not true. So it's going well, I get
along with some people but not others. So what is
your question? How do I handle this roommate? Is that

(50:56):
or both roommates?

Speaker 6 (50:58):
I just because I feel so uncomfortable in my apartment
right now.

Speaker 3 (51:01):
Well, your dad's so fucking good with money, that fucking
drug addict. Tell them to buy you your own apartment
in the city. It's an investment. Jesus chrazy could scare
up a fucking million for his daughter. You're working hard,
you think you lost the weight.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
Look at you.

Speaker 3 (51:17):
You need to get some dick dad, if you're listening,
stop buying the prescription drugs and invent by the way, dad,
which I should have done. If you had a brain
in your fucking heads to invent a chair or some
other device that a dentist could use so they didn't
have to fucking bend over backwards for their fucking patience,
maybe you should have used your fucking brains for that.

(51:38):
And fucking drug addict, Oh, so get on that invention train,
invent something and buy her a fucking apartment so she
don't have to deal with these people.

Speaker 2 (51:48):
Yeah, case closed.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
How's that for a solution, Celia? You like that one?
I think she's speechless? What what we gotta cut that out?
What shouldn't he have invented that chair? Is that a
good idea?

Speaker 6 (52:02):
I mean yeah, but he's also seventy two, so that
was like fifty years ago when he.

Speaker 3 (52:05):
Was that happened. He could have done it done.

Speaker 6 (52:09):
Really, there is no technology like there's like nothing.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
Your roommates should kill you to the original plan needs
to be euthodized. I just think you have to work
on the anger as far as figure out what's underneath it,
figure out what needs to be said to them. I
know it's cliche, but mean what you say, say what

(52:45):
you mean, but don't say it mean.

Speaker 6 (52:48):
See, that's my That's where I get wrong. I get
wrong because I I can't. If I say what I mean,
I'm fucking evil.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
No, do you wait, pretend I'm the roommate because I
hate you right now, so we can, Celia, I know,
look at me, I'm gonna be the roommate. I know
I was a little I held in a lot of
resentments and I shouldn't have sprouted all that onto you.
But it's just really how I feel. What do you think?

Speaker 6 (53:17):
I think? Okay, I can. I can't invalidate your feelings
because that's that's not fair, correct, So I can, I
can appreciate that, I can take it in and I
can only work on it from here.

Speaker 3 (53:29):
But what's that gonna look like, Celia? Because when you
move the fuck out and your dad hadn't been such
a drug addict and invented a chair, I've heard this
idea of somewhere, Hostell. He told me he could have
bought you an apartment. You want desperately to tell her

(53:54):
all this year you're mad about.

Speaker 6 (53:56):
With her exactly, which is immature of it.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
It's not it's you mean. So what you have to
do is you have to get a way to say
them not mean.

Speaker 6 (54:06):
So that's why she didn't spare me, right?

Speaker 3 (54:08):
So do you want to always go to the lowest
common denominator?

Speaker 2 (54:11):
Do you want to get it? I get where you're
coming from.

Speaker 3 (54:14):
We all get it. Do you think I haven't?

Speaker 6 (54:16):
I know it's not.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
Going to do if you don't. If you value your
anger and your meanness quote unquote, which you are not
a mean person. But you're kind of trying to be
brave and say you are. It's bullshit. I'm the only
mean person in the world. You need to get that
work done and go I'm only gonna fucking approach her
when I'm ready to not say it in a mean,

(54:39):
angry way. It's easy to it's not that hard to say,
I'm really upset with you that you like I said
to Nigel, yeah, you fucking I said, Tim, step it
up on the fucking podcast. Don't be saying all this
dumb shit and sleep through the damn thing. And so
we didn't have a fight over and he says, yeah, yeah, man,
I know I got a lot of energy today. Don't
worry about it.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
So there's I'm fucking killing it.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
Yeah, you are destroying it. I've said many times, you've
destroyed the podcast. So just you gotta process this anger
with the shrink and with the safe people and then
know what you have to say to her, because do
you want the friendship. You have to figure that out.

Speaker 6 (55:16):
I know that. I think I've been really struggling with
that in the past two days, and I think it's
really masked by the anger.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
Of course, So.

Speaker 6 (55:24):
I'm just like, fuck, this bitch. There's nothing wrong with me. Fuck,
you are breaking the lease.

Speaker 3 (55:29):
I'm leaving.

Speaker 6 (55:30):
You're gonna be jealous of my friends, and then you.

Speaker 3 (55:34):
Can do all that and then.

Speaker 6 (55:37):
And then I'm like, okay, wait, but like we have
so much fun together, and like she may.

Speaker 3 (55:43):
Be fun friend, and then a year from now you'll go,
oh my god. I almost blew it up out of
resentment and out of anger, and I just had to
work on my stuff. And it's a blessing she went
away this weekend because you can work through it. And
you can and I kind of figure it out.

Speaker 6 (56:00):
Speak to the other roommate and try to just apologize,
I guess.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
But and do whatever you do. Do not triangulate that ship. No,
do not. Don't say her fucking name. You're you're smirking
a little because you know I was going to.

Speaker 2 (56:14):
Don't talk shit to the.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
It is not to no, it is I have students
that I teach. These kids are like eighteen nineteen year old.
Half the time I want to poke one and go
look at this fucking yoke. You can't fucking do it,
So keep her name just forbidden.

Speaker 6 (56:31):
I was, I was, I was, But now after I
see your eyeballs.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
But also seeing here she probably has a history with
the other roommate too, of telling not telling her stuff,
or with her parents or her other friends. So maybe
go this wance. No. Once the anger is processed and
you're like, wait a minute, I do remember our history,

(56:56):
the anger will lift and then you'll be like, what
are the good things? Make a list of the good things. Yeah,
and there's bad things with everybody, of course, But you
know what, sometimes just going oh yeah, once I calm down,
it was okay.

Speaker 6 (57:09):
I think it's always like I always used to say,
something like middle school and middle school drama. I'd be like,
I just want this to blow over, like blow over.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
Well, guess what you have to blow it over? Yeah,
because you can't. It can't always default to the kid's mentality.

Speaker 6 (57:23):
Of course. I just meant like I always you always
want it to be over, of course. But I don't
really know what that's going to look like now for me,
because like I've never had like this. I don't know
what's gonna happen when she comes back. I don't know
how to act.

Speaker 3 (57:35):
I don't know how to Well, here's a question to you.
We've given you some solutions. None of which you're gonna take.
That's not true, so oh, I like to like kick true.
If if you were coaching a friend through this problem, yeah,
and try to keep it succinct, what would you tell

(57:56):
them to do.

Speaker 6 (57:58):
I'd say, take take some space. Luckily there's is some
built in space, and just just try to approach the
friendship differently from then. The problem is what is different?
What does difference?

Speaker 3 (58:13):
I don't know. If you're the coach, I know, Yeah,
would you tell a friend to change about this dynamic?

Speaker 6 (58:20):
I think choose, choose your friends who you rant to
and ask for solutions from wisely, and communicate what you want,
whether that's I just need to like to go off
for a minute, or I need like I need advice,
I need help.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
So what you said, which I love, by the way,
every second, and that is great. What's great is that
whole thing about accept your friends where they are, but
know where to place them. So I can accept Nick
as a friend if I place him in the right spot.

(58:59):
Am I gonna call him and expect the conversation to
ever be about me? No, it's always Nick center, because
Nick always has more going on than everybody else. Yeah,
So I'm gonna do that, but I accept him. And
then on the occasion he asked me a question, I
go ding ding ding, score one for the week. No,

(59:24):
it's true. But also I have a big history of
centering myself, so I understand where he's coming. So we know. So, yeah,
we caught on what I do. I'm just kidding. Shut up,
I'm just kidding. That's for another three days. Don't worry
about it.

Speaker 6 (59:38):
Like for some reason, I just want to ask you
all these questions now, and well, we'll do.

Speaker 3 (59:41):
Another We'll do a cliffhanger. So we're gonna come back
with season two of how Celia has fixed this. Actually
that's not a bad idea.

Speaker 6 (59:49):
Yeah, we could do an update. Yeah we brought the
roommate in.

Speaker 3 (59:51):
Oh No. But I think sometimes a lot of the
answer is if I was coaching a friend through this,
what would I tell them? Yeah, and also, this is
gonna sound I don't think this is very woo woo.
It just makes so much sense. You can always in

(01:00:13):
life approach everything from two angles and moods. Your mood
is like the climate, right, it's not like the weather,
So say, your mood in general is a mood of resentment.
The weather's not gonna be great. It's gonna be always
a little cloudy. It's gonna be also not great. It's
gonna be there's gonna be fear and anger and all

(01:00:34):
these emotions we don't like. If you're approaching it from
a mood of gratitude, and I know that's become a
cliche gratitude, but it fucking works firsthand. I know if
everything is gratitude for what this is teaching me, gratitude
for the circumstance that I was given this gift or whatever,
the weathers of mood is a lot better so the

(01:00:57):
actual Wow, I'm feeling a little joyful, happy, a little peaceful.
So as you're thinking about her, be like, do I
want to approach this with the mood of gratitude or resentment?
Do I want to look at his You know, I'm
pretty grateful for all the years. I mean, we're probably
eighty percent of good times. M Let me see what
I can save in this. Let me see if the

(01:01:18):
anger can dissipate a little because I'm grateful for what
she's done. Make a list. I bet you could no
lie in this many years of friendship. I do not
doubt you could have one hundred things on that list. Absolutely,
so the mood of gratitude is gonna shift this. If
you want to stay in this mood of resentment that
you've had today until the second, you can, and you'll

(01:01:40):
find a hundred fucking things to write down about her name.
We're ending this, and I'm gonna have Daddy in ft
a chair and get the department the army. I want
to invent the chair. This is why I want to
you know what I'm talking about. I want to invent
an invention to make him rich and buy your place.
So anyway I want if you want to stay in resentment,

(01:02:01):
you can. Is it serving your life? Is it serving
your friendship? We know the answer is no. Only an
idiot would say yes. So I'm not even letting you talk,
so you don't. Okay, you don't have to. We've got
to one and a half funny people on the show.
I'll take the half at this point. I don't believe today.

(01:02:25):
But does no, no, girl, you're you're you're you're amusing.

Speaker 6 (01:02:30):
I'll give you at me.

Speaker 3 (01:02:32):
No no, actually no, that means you will say a
pithy thing here and there, cute funny.

Speaker 6 (01:02:39):
I love that can't get concert next to lie, so
we have to be friends by the next July.

Speaker 3 (01:02:44):
Okay, if this isn't solved by next July, then this
is not supposed to happen. And by the way, tickets
should never be to keep a bad friendship. But this
doesn't sound like a bad friendship. Do what I said,
stop thinking tends to into it. So you could make
a joke. You got to get yourself in the resentment

(01:03:06):
out gratitude in you when we see you in however
long season two is premiering, which isn't very long. We
would like to see this list of a hundred things
you are grateful for about this person. I bet it
could be more than that.

Speaker 6 (01:03:25):
Yeah, definitely do it, and you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:27):
Will when she comes home. Yes, it doesn't mean we'll
all have lifted magically, but you will approach her with
curiosity and not contempt. Okay, well that was easy.

Speaker 6 (01:03:39):
I mean, you're right.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
I just Celia's fixed.

Speaker 6 (01:03:43):
The only hesitation I have left. It's the only thing.

Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
And then I am nine one one. I think I'm
having a heart attack. I can't feel the right side
of my body. Oh wait, I'm being dramatic.

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
Fuck you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:57):
Go ahead, wait, wait, what what time? What? What time
is it now? How much have we been recording?

Speaker 6 (01:04:05):
Actually it's like it's in forty minutes.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
That's it. Boy, did it seem longer? Wait? I just
got a great text, and I'm not gonna lie to you.
Got a text from my funeral director. My Headstone has
written stacked next season too, We'll be fixing Celia even

(01:04:30):
more and will be killing me.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
Yes, but isn't that great news?

Speaker 3 (01:04:34):
I'm not Maybe do you know how that ties into
this subject? I'll tell you how. First of all, on
my gravestone, I just get it done in advance so
that nobody has to worry about me later or caretake me.
So anyway, I want the words big dick energy on
my two Why has that been? I have big dick energy.
But I'm gonna tell you how this circles back to

(01:04:55):
your conversation. Okay, this worry and this sings. It's troubling
because I remember I started conversations with this Headstone guy
literally ten months ago, paid half ten months later, the
thing wasn't put in. That's a long time, yea. And

(01:05:17):
I remember about three months ago, I was like all
charged up, I'm worried. Suppose I die tomorrow, Like, I
don't think I'm gonna, but God forbid I get into Carson.
How the fuck am I going to know if it's
going to get put in right? Who's paying? What's going on?
And then I don't know. I started working on worry
and stuff. I was like, oh, it'll get solved, like
literally everything in our life always gets solved, or else

(01:05:39):
we would be dead. So every I'm saying you're worry
and ruminating and stewing and spiraling. Try I'm not saying
it's miraculous. Oh just stop, No, try to catch it earlier.
And maybe you catch it a little earlier, and you
focus on the gratitude. Did you catch it like I

(01:06:00):
suppose you instead of a half hour, you only lose
twenty nine minutes. That's a triumph. So my worry over
that tombstone, I get a text right now, like I say,
saying it's done. Was that worry wasted?

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
Did I worry about it less than the three months
that I've been working on it, Yes, So I've lost
less power and brain cells and energy to that guy,
and he did the right thing at the end. So
the thing is going to work out or else you'd
be dead or homeless. Can you all just notice the
worry and without judgment, let it go a little quicker

(01:06:35):
next time. Yes, I know you're saying that, and it's
hard to.

Speaker 6 (01:06:41):
Believe if nobody that was confronted because I didn't like it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:44):
Oh my god, that's it for us.

Speaker 3 (01:06:48):
I'm kidding. I just don't worry in general, because worry
is suffer you. Well, it's suffering over something that will
probably never happen.

Speaker 2 (01:07:00):
Already have I think it more than it will happen.

Speaker 3 (01:07:02):
And maybe your parents need to be dead? Just kidding you?
Oh my god?

Speaker 6 (01:07:12):
Yeah, Oh Nick, Nick, Nick, what are your thoughts?

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
I get to worry about the parents thing? I guess.

Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
Wait, I want to say one thing, y'all, listeners who
have a brain in your head, neither Celia nor Nick
could understand and embody the things I'm telling them to
you guys, can I know there's a few listeners out there.
I'm gonna na name Amy, Sarah, Bobby, Darren, random people
who text me about the podcast. You understand, right, it's

(01:07:45):
not falling on deaf ears right because he's two in
the studio. They're broken and irredeemable. Why no, But I
have to say, Celia, thank you for volunteering to be
a subject. We're gonna come back season two with a

(01:08:06):
big update. Find out if Celia is homeless, if she
has roommates or not, if she has any friends, because
personally I would have dumped her at this point, she's
so annoying. If her dad invented a chair and bought him,
bought her an apartment, which I would love. Yeah, we'll
find out if Nick has hair and is skinny.

Speaker 2 (01:08:27):
Okay you think written, I'm never a skinny guy. I'm
always like, I.

Speaker 3 (01:08:30):
Don't mean skinny. I mean if you will not be
as misshaped.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
Oh yeah, No, it's time. It's time to trim this
sh up. I'm gonna get Me and Celia are gonna
share bras. We're gonna buy them.

Speaker 3 (01:08:39):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
How about this.

Speaker 3 (01:08:40):
We don't have a season two till you're in shape,
so we'll see you four years from after. That tombstone
is being used. Stupid thing that we say at the end,
say it, Let's see if it can actually be memorized.

Speaker 5 (01:08:54):
Come on right, Okay, guys, thanks for listening so much,
so if you want to, if you want to reach
out to this show, where fucking stupid people talk for an.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
Hour or so.

Speaker 4 (01:09:11):
Email us at shrink this Show at gmail dot com.
That is, shrink this Show at gmail dot com. You
could follow Lisa Lisa Lampinelli on Instagram. You could follow
me at Nick Scopes on Instagram and tiktoks and all
that stuff. And please listen to the podcast on your
iHeartRadio app or anywhere you get podcasts.

Speaker 3 (01:09:32):
So you did it without a script. I do good actor.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
Let's kill the Celia.

Speaker 3 (01:09:41):
We're totally killing her.

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
I get it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
See you for season two. Bye bye,