FULL SHOW: The Day We Realized We’re All Weirdos

From hometown hobbies to broken appliances, from Skeery still being a menace behind the wheel to Scotty refusing to drink coffee, today’s show is a mix of chaos and confessions. We cover strange couple habits, dating way out of your league, what should (or shouldn’t) be considered littering, and even a caller who hilariously wishes diarrhea on someone. Oh, and yes — Josh admits to buttholing his couch.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
I Love I Love in the morning. How funny they
are and how awake they.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Are, it's fine to say, is.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Amazing, totally honest, always has great stories, awesome Elvis, Elvis
in the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Don't go anywhere because this is gonna be groundbreaking radio.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Like Elvis Terran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
You know, if you're from Austin, Texas, where you've visited Austin, Texas,
you know there's a hometown thing they do there. Every
night as the sun goes down, you watch the bats
fly out from under the break. I mean the bats.
There's billions of them. It's the thing everyone in town
likes to go do. Scary was in Charlotte and what
Charlotte has like this small town thing it does right, Yeah,
every night, every night, Yeah, three miles from the South

(00:51):
Carolina state line in.

Speaker 4 (00:53):
Waxhall, everyone gathers around the pedestrian bridge to stand on
top of it and for the long ass cargo train
to go by, the fifteen minute cargo train. So you
stand over it with your ice cream Sunday from the
old ice cream shop and you're just watching it.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
You just watch the train go by.

Speaker 4 (01:12):
Two times a day, the trains go by and people
have been doing this for years.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
It's wax saw tradition. There you go, and you were
talking about another one, Gandhi. When people are like tubing
down a river, everyone shows up.

Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:25):
So when I lived in Ohio, there was a place
it's a water park and they have a lazy river there,
and all of the homish people would come and just
stand on the bridge and watch everybody float through the
lazy river. So we just wave at them. Yeah, they
watched us.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
It was great in Nate where you're from, in Pennsylvania.

Speaker 7 (01:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Yeah, we would go to Alleghany State Park just over
the border there in Salamaica, New York, and we would
go at night to the dumpsters and watch the bears
and raccoons eat trash.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Oh my god, sounds so romantic. Yeah, are you so cool?
Textas now Texas at fifty five one hundred. What weird
thing does your town do? And you don't know about
it unless you roll through your town or you're born
and raised there. I would love to show up at
the dumpsters and watch the raccoons and beard eating garbage
every night. Let's go talk to line twenty four.

Speaker 7 (02:09):
Lindsey Lindsey Hey, y'all.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Hey, y'all, So where are you from, Lindsay what town?

Speaker 8 (02:16):
I'm from Western I'm in a small town in West Virginia.
I don't know if I want to call it out,
even though I got a lot a lot of upries.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, okay, all right, all right, that's okay. So tell
everyone what you guys do in your town that makes
it unique.

Speaker 9 (02:30):
Okay.

Speaker 8 (02:30):
This is a beautiful years long Appalachian tradition. Are you
guys ready? And we called it the pipe, so I
know this could go a lot of different ways. Don't
be nervous. At our courage camp out back, there was
a cover missing from like a sewage pipe, and then
the pipe had a big hole in it. So we
would all stand around every year at camp and then

(02:52):
someone would go inside the cabin, you know, and do
their business and then come looting out and we would
all they would be all excited, and we'd all stand
around and wait, like first and tillet paper it would come,
so we knew it was coming, and then and then
the urtacles would come and it was just a good time.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
All right. That sounds like a party tradition in your town.
So this is a four h camp let's keep that
in mind. So it is, it's not something the whole
public can come watch. So you would have someone do
their business in the cabin flush and then run down
and you'd watch whatever they produced float by in the
broken podcast.

Speaker 8 (03:26):
So much and it's so beautiful here. You just really
make the best of what you can. That's what everybody does.

Speaker 10 (03:31):
Right, all of you guys so much.

Speaker 8 (03:37):
Only the world is such a better place.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
And now we must say the same to you and
your friends camp. I love how you call them.

Speaker 8 (03:48):
Nate was super kind, not creepy, and he was helpful.
He coached me that I could say also maybe crap,
but not you know, the brown words.

Speaker 11 (03:59):
I love you.

Speaker 8 (03:59):
So I've been practicing yoga for over twenty years. I've
been teaching for over ten and thank thank you and
your country and your people. My gods, is such a
beautiful thing. Yoga meditation to save us all? Really? Yeah,
thank you guys.

Speaker 12 (04:12):
So what are you doing with you all?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
I wonder if you could combine the two watch the
turtacles float by in the pipe while doing yoga. Thank you?

Speaker 8 (04:20):
Really embrace my Appalachian life.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yes you should. That sounds like a lot of fun
in your town. Okay, thank you very much. It's a
pleasure meeting you. Elizabeth. In line twenty three, let's see
what they did in their town for for fun. Hi Elizabeth, Hi,
good morning, welcome to the show. All right, So this
is something that's very unique to your town. And is
it a yearly thing, a nightly thing?

Speaker 9 (04:41):
What is it? It's just something that I used to do,
I guess when I was a kid and some other kids.
We can't really do it anymore, so we used to
when we were younger. Go into the old psychiatric building.
So there's a Pilgrim State and it's also Kings Park
Psychiatric Center, which are abandoned building. So they're all yes,

(05:02):
they were abandoned yea.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
With patients still all the way, Yeah, Elizabeth. These are old,
creepy abandoned hospitals basically, right.

Speaker 9 (05:12):
Yes, exactly exactly, and some of them have like underground
tunnels on the campus and a lot of this stuff
actually since that time, probably because we were such bad kids,
have been like demolished and you know, there's more patrols
and things of that nature now, so you can't probably
get away with it anymore. But there's still those abandoned
buildings wow wow.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
And I love that the whole town kind of shows up.
Whether at least the kids would show up and break in.

Speaker 9 (05:35):
Yeah, we would go like like twenty deep probably to wow,
do different buildings and just go a different places and
scare the crap out of each other.

Speaker 13 (05:44):
Punted house and Halloween.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
I love that everyone in town knew about it. If
you were if you weren't from your town, you didn't
know about it. All right, Elizabeth, thank you very much.
I appreciate it. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Have a great one, you too.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Now let's go to Jordan on line twenty four. Jordan
from Pennsylvania. You know I've heard there is Jordan. Hi, Jordan,
I think I've heard of this tradition. Tell everyone what
you what you do at school and you're in your town.

Speaker 14 (06:07):
So our senior boys drive their tractors to school on
one of the last days of school.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
It's drive your tractor to school day. That's awesome. It's
just like a whole parking lot filled with green and yellow.
It's all John Deere just hanging out.

Speaker 6 (06:26):
Do people in the town get ticked because it slows
down all the traffic or is it just kind of like, oh,
this is a fun thing. Let it go.

Speaker 9 (06:33):
They're kind of used to it.

Speaker 14 (06:34):
To it here.

Speaker 5 (06:35):
Yeah, wow, you should do that in Florida. Frog drive
your golf cart to school day.

Speaker 7 (06:40):
Would love that.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
You should. All right, thank you, Jordan, Thanks for listening
to us too.

Speaker 9 (06:46):
Thanks to have a good day you too.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, the texts are coming in left and right. Uh, gosh,
we had that. We have a crab race every summer
in our town.

Speaker 12 (06:55):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Here's when a brewery in our town holds the Potstown
Annual goat Races. Everyone gets drunk, bloated on German beer
and brats, and we watch goats race each other every year.

Speaker 6 (07:05):
The love their animal races.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
This is a fabulous thing.

Speaker 15 (07:08):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
Right there on the Mississippi River between the tiny towns
of Port Byron, Illinois and Leclair, Iowa, they have a
tug of war and they say Iowa usually wins, and
they say that the other team usually ends up in
the river every year. Did you guys see a few
of these that you liked?

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (07:25):
I love the salamander Migration Day in East Brunswick, New Jersey.
I would totally watch that.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Right, people say here in the state of Illinois, we
get together and watch the taxes go up.

Speaker 5 (07:40):
Hugcat day in the Bronx, you know, get together and
steal hug.

Speaker 13 (07:46):
It was fun.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
What about you frog?

Speaker 7 (07:48):
Eric Co three to O two says.

Speaker 16 (07:49):
Then their town they all get together in the fall
and due to a pumpkin chunkin contest. Everybody who can
throw a punk in the furthest.

Speaker 5 (07:56):
Oh I always wanted to do that. That's so that
and the turn in Iowa they.

Speaker 13 (08:01):
Cow chip chips. I always wanted to do that too.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, the punkin Chunkin's right, it's north of us, it's
not far.

Speaker 14 (08:07):
So.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
What did you guys used to do with the boat
ramps straight and eight? This was a big thing.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
People would just sit there and they'd have chairs and
they just watch people put their boats into the that's
entertainment at the boat launched because inevitably, like one out
of ten people can't do it right, or they backed
their car into far and they flood their cars.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's it's they.

Speaker 16 (08:28):
Forget to put the brake on when they're backing in,
or when or the guy that's on the boat. No,
the best part is when the guy that's on the
boats like just a little more, he revs it a
little more to get it the further on the trailer
and it ends up in the back of the car.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
The boat is over the trailer on the car.

Speaker 7 (08:41):
You're like, okay, we're good.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Let's go. Tell you what when I was much younger
and we had a boat, and we'd have a boat,
you know, we'd have a hitch to the back of
the car the trailer. You have to know what you're
doing to back those things down those ramps, because if
you turn right, that means it goes left, or I
don't know, it's it's backwards.

Speaker 16 (08:57):
But I've seen many marriages fail on a boat ramp
or where the husband is trying to back the trailer
in and the wife's yelling at And what if.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Something everyone in town had to do, you know, you
had to go watch. Yeah, scary.

Speaker 4 (09:07):
I saw a text from area code five oh one, Conway, Arkansas.
Toad Suck Park. They have toad Suck Days and they
race toads and they have a big carnival around this event.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
They are toads, the frogs. Their toad get it right,
Their toads get it right. All right, that's so cool.
Whatever you're doing in your town, it's your tradition. If
it's watching turds float down a pipe, or if it's
you know, pulling people across the river in a tug
of war competition. Just keep those, keep those alive.

Speaker 15 (09:35):
There you go.

Speaker 6 (09:36):
I love these They're just so menacing. Some of them.
Like we get together and throw dried corn at people's
porches during October in Toronto, Ohio. Okay, an corn at
people's houses.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
So what are you gonna do? If you let's say
you're born in New York City, you have you can
go into the where if you're born in the boroughs
or the suburbs in New York City, you go into
town and you ride the subways. I'd love to chunk
some pumpkins.

Speaker 16 (09:59):
Yeah, just like this week we found about the Testical Festival.
I like to go to the Testical Festival.

Speaker 7 (10:03):
And what do you do? Are you showing yours off
or you're looking at other words?

Speaker 6 (10:06):
Like what do you do eating them?

Speaker 13 (10:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (10:09):
They're not people. They don't.

Speaker 5 (10:11):
You don't eat like I don't people's I think you
eat animals? Am I right?

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Okay?

Speaker 7 (10:18):
On that guy?

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Morning Elvis Durant.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Dear God, what's this woman doing?

Speaker 17 (10:24):
And the morning show? This is Elvis Durant in the
morning show.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
You know what we should do here, We should get
coast to boy Josh in here and talk to her
about this. Well, he had a question about showering and
then sitting on furniture nude. Gandhi actually when Daniel, when
Gandhi joined in the family, one of the things we
learned from her was the term buttoling, right, yes, explained

(10:57):
when you came out with that, It's it's.

Speaker 6 (11:00):
Pretty self explanatory. It's when your butthole touches the surface
of really anything. And a lot of people who sit
around their houses naked, they just butt hoole their couches
all day. And one of my issues was when I arrived,
I knew that we had some folks on the show
who were naked a lot, and they were sitting in
all the chairs and I was just worried about which
chairs had been buttholed, and then I found out all

(11:21):
of them had.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
So Josh yep said, he truly believes if he's freshly showered,
there's no issue. And is he here? He just walked in.

Speaker 6 (11:32):
Hello, Josh.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
I conjure him up on my Ouiji board. Josh Hi,
So your thought is, why did you even think of this,
And why did you bring it to the family for discussion.

Speaker 18 (11:44):
Well, I guess because I was buttholding my furniture after
a shower, and I asked Gandhi because she's the expert
on buttoling furniture apparently, and she didn't give me an answer,
So I don't know. I am fresh, I was freshly showered,
and I was sitting on my couch, my brand new.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Couch, fine freshly showers, holding something.

Speaker 13 (12:10):
And what if you miss something, you never know.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Trust me.

Speaker 18 (12:12):
I got all in there, I got all okay, okay, okay,
let's okay.

Speaker 16 (12:16):
You're just clean butt holding exactly.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
It's still so unsavory.

Speaker 16 (12:26):
Gosh, Josh, let me ask you this because like, if
somebody comes to your house they want to lay down
on your couch, They're going to take their face and
lay it onto your couch.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Okay, if you go ahead, go ahead, No, go ahead,
you go ahead.

Speaker 16 (12:38):
So if you freshly washed, I wouldn't let you put
your clean butt on my face, even if it was clean.
So my point is I don't want your clean couch
on my face either.

Speaker 18 (12:47):
Well you sound like for the record, I sat on
the couch where my feet go like the the chase
lounge area of the couch, so it wasn't where anyone's
head would go unless you're laying in a weird position.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Here's here's a thought, and don't don't think less of me,
But if you're gonna take a shower and butthole your furniture,
you probably should just keep that to yourself. I mean,
why do you want to bring it up to anyone?
Because if I went to your house today and sat
on your couch, you would secretly know and say to yourself, oh,
there goes Evis sitting on exactly.

Speaker 19 (13:23):
You know you don't.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
You don't have to tell everyone about it. Why are
you asking? Just bring it up? You know it's clean,
You're fine? Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 18 (13:31):
I guess Gandhi is the expert, so I wanted an
official opinion.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
It was only for a second Gandhi I sat down.

Speaker 6 (13:39):
See, I think I think a butthole is a butthole
cleanest or dirtiest. It's the same thing. It's that you're
buttholing the furniture, but it is your furniture, so you
have every right to butthole whatever you want.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Oh geez, Well okay, So Let's say the cat comes
in and sits on it. What's the difference the dog
sits there. Oh yeah, they don't make a shower and
they're sitting there, so why do they get a pass?
And Josh, Josh.

Speaker 5 (14:09):
Okays had a big meal right before you took the shower,
and then that meal was like coming to you.

Speaker 6 (14:17):
You know what?

Speaker 2 (14:18):
This is where this is where I cut everything off.
This is where I end the conversation and sores the
subject because you know what, but if we keep going,
you know how we this is the show that dog piles.
As soon as one person says something, the next person
has to top it. Right, you yell digestion, Oh my god,

(14:39):
turn it off? Thank you, froggy? What do we have
more of his mic?

Speaker 4 (14:42):
If you have more cushion, then you really don't get
it doesn't experience. That doesn't experience the couch. It doesn't
it doesn't touch. What are you saying, I do a
cushion person? You have more cushion, so you're uplifted, so
you're not really making direction.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
If you have a what you're saying, If you have
a bony butt, then you're gonna cause more damage than
someone with like a like like a banonka donk. I
think I haven't behind.

Speaker 18 (15:07):
So I don't even think the butthole got to it
to be truthful.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
Oh my god, please can we change you?

Speaker 6 (15:14):
This detection going on?

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yes, all right, we got to move on. We gotta
move on. Thank you, thank you. So I don't know
what the verdict is. We'll think about it. We'll get
back to you on that is it? Okay? If we have,
we'll have a private discussion about this, Like all right,
I'm gonna get my couch professionally washed now, just to
be safe. I think you're fine.

Speaker 17 (15:32):
Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran, The Elvis Duran phone
tap to the.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Garrett has the phone tap? What's it all about? Christopher
and Jill.

Speaker 20 (15:40):
They are best friends and Christopher is just tired of
listening to his best friend, Jill complain about not finding
a good guy. So Christopher decides to take it upon
himself and find Jill his best friend a good guy.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Oh so a friend helping out a friend. Yes, and
I play the part of the guy. Oh god, this
could be bad. All right, Garrett, here we go. Hello, Hi,
is is this Jill?

Speaker 21 (16:07):
Yes?

Speaker 20 (16:07):
I was out the other night. Are you familiar. Yeah, okay, great,
we haven't run into each other. I haven't mentioned before.
So this is this is where it's kind of you
know a little.

Speaker 12 (16:18):
How did you get my phone number?

Speaker 20 (16:20):
I went into the restroom and I used the stall
and uh, funny enough, your your phone number was was
on the back of the door in the stall.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
It said for a good time call.

Speaker 21 (16:32):
Is this a joke?

Speaker 20 (16:33):
No, no, seriously, this is for real. And that's what
I hope we could be for real about this. And yeah,
I'm just an ordinary guy. I haven't done anything like
this before.

Speaker 21 (16:43):
No, well, I have no idea how my number got
in the backroom. So well that I'm not interested in
going out with you.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
Let's call her back and you talk.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Hello.

Speaker 22 (16:54):
Hey, oh hey, what's your plan for today?

Speaker 23 (17:00):
I don't know.

Speaker 21 (17:01):
I'm a little thrown. I just got a really weird
phone call.

Speaker 22 (17:05):
Oh, I mean, I was just calling to see if
you want to do lunch today? Well, what's up? What's
weird phone call? What are you talking about?

Speaker 21 (17:11):
You're right, someone just called me and said they got
my number from the bathroom skull wall in the restaurant
we went.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
To the other night.

Speaker 22 (17:20):
My number was wall Joe I am so sorry about this. Okay,
So remember the other day when we were at the
here and we have a little too much to drink. Yeah,
I think that I think that I might have written
your number on the bathroom wall.

Speaker 21 (17:41):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 24 (17:43):
Well?

Speaker 22 (17:43):
I mean, I guess complain about I am a boyfriend.

Speaker 17 (17:47):
I was ditching and moaning about it.

Speaker 24 (17:49):
I'm sorry that was.

Speaker 21 (17:50):
Such a burden to you to listen to me when
I'm going through this. But it's my decision who I
date and how I meet them. I'm not going to
meet someone through a bathroom wall. I can't believe I
even call you my best friend. I cannot believe you did.

Speaker 22 (18:04):
This to me, But I'm your best friend. Just said that,
so maybe you should trust my judgment. I think it
might have helped you.

Speaker 21 (18:10):
You were just trying to help. I would rather have
you posts an online ad for me instead of writing
my number on the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
Saw a wall.

Speaker 21 (18:17):
Would you like me to go put your number on
a wall?

Speaker 22 (18:19):
I drew a stick figure of you. I made you
look really good. I had like big boobs and a
big butt and real nice long leg big figure of me.

Speaker 21 (18:28):
I don't even have big boom. That is like an
advertisement for what I look like.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
What are you thinking, Joe?

Speaker 22 (18:34):
Come on your catch?

Speaker 21 (18:36):
Yes I am, And therefore I don't need to be
posted on the bathroom wall to be called Jill.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Hello, it's me, the guy who called you from the bathroom.

Speaker 7 (18:48):
What you just got?

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Phone tapped?

Speaker 21 (18:50):
Oh my god?

Speaker 11 (18:51):
Are you hearing?

Speaker 22 (18:54):
I love that?

Speaker 20 (18:55):
This is garrettro and Elvistan in the Morning Show'm.

Speaker 21 (19:00):
So glad you didn't write by them for on the wall.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
The Elvis Duran phone tap.

Speaker 25 (19:09):
This phone table was pre recorded with permission granted by
all participates.

Speaker 17 (19:13):
The Elvis Teroran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
Worth all right, So you're in a relationship, right, Maybe
it's brand a relationship, or maybe you moved in with
each other with your new relationship, you know, it's getting
to know someone. You get to know someone, especially if
you take a vacation with him, as Gandhi you did
with Brandon. Yes, I did you get to know someone
the good and the bad?

Speaker 26 (19:40):
Ye?

Speaker 2 (19:40):
And then of course Samantha moved in with her boyfriend
Will Oh yeah. Now you guys have spent the night
with each other many times. Yeah, but what happened that
totally melted your eyebrows.

Speaker 27 (19:51):
I have learned that William is really desperate for me
to be able to use the bathroom in front of him.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
No, okay, hold on here around here.

Speaker 27 (20:01):
He considers it to be the height of comfort and
trust in a relationship. He thinks, if you could do that,
you're all the way with the comfort.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
So you so you will go into the bathroom and
start looking in the mirror and you're getting ready. Yeah,
and he'll come sit down on the ball next to you.

Speaker 27 (20:16):
He's done that several times already, and I just have
to run.

Speaker 6 (20:19):
Regardless of the situation. It's not okay, it's not okay.
But he wants me to you know, he wants to
trade places. He wants me to be comfortable. Here's the thing.

Speaker 27 (20:31):
I am ninety nine percent saying no, But I want
to maybe consider a bet that I really want something
from and I'll use that as leverage.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Well, no, no, no, no, how many don't you have?

Speaker 15 (20:43):
What you have?

Speaker 2 (20:43):
One bathroom?

Speaker 26 (20:44):
Oh? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Okay?

Speaker 6 (20:45):
Does it lock?

Speaker 27 (20:47):
Medium?

Speaker 2 (20:48):
So I'll come home, well, Alex and I'll come home
from dinner, He'll go, I'll go to go Okay, go
and all of a sudden, you know, you hear these
foul noises, But what do you do? Close the door?
Here's he keeps it open. But I know he keeps
it open on purpose because you know, it just irritates
the whatever out of me. And you hear these noises,

(21:09):
you know what the noises are? You know what you
you know those things? I don't know. I don't want
to hear that. I don't want to hear your air propulsion.
I don't want to hear you getting left off off
the toilet.

Speaker 27 (21:22):
Or he has this breathing thing sometimes before and then
you hear.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
This, you hear this. Ah, Yeah, I don't want to
hear that. But so you're saying that it's not just
going to the bathroom for Will. Will believes it as
a couple, you can further bond with each other if
you open that door and just you know, use the
bathroom together, no matter what you're doing.

Speaker 6 (21:45):
Yeah, he says, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Yes,
body poops. No, I don't really want to do it, guys.
I like sexual attraction is a thing, right, Can you
still be sexually attracted to someone after watching them take
a du well. Currently it still is really gambling. No,
But I don't know.

Speaker 27 (22:01):
If I could find a bet like like maybe get
him to get rid of his collection of cargo shorts.

Speaker 6 (22:06):
Or something, and I think that's worth it, I.

Speaker 27 (22:08):
Might well not yet I haven't pulled the trigger on it,
but I know there's something out there where I will
use that as leverage and I will get that bet.

Speaker 6 (22:14):
But then you have to poop in from it only
if I lose.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Tell you what that's not, yes, Scotty b. So it
all changes when you get married.

Speaker 28 (22:22):
Because when Amy and I got married on our wedding night,
we were in the hotel and I was sitting on
the toilet and Amy was at my feet as we
were opening the gifts.

Speaker 24 (22:31):
Are you kidding?

Speaker 2 (22:31):
Like it was nothing? Oh No, married for hours. That's
when it starts. No, there's there's stuff coming out, but
there was money in the envelopes. It didn't matter.

Speaker 6 (22:43):
You could wait, no, and that opened the gifts. O.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
God, what's scared?

Speaker 7 (22:48):
God?

Speaker 2 (22:50):
I know she's she's crossed her.

Speaker 4 (22:53):
You start to normalize that kind of thing in a relationship,
all the mistique is gone. I want I want to
always look at you as an in I want to
worship you.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
I don't need to know you say that angels don't
pooh no, But I want to.

Speaker 4 (23:05):
Know ninety percent of you. That last ten percent keep
in the bathroom. You could cause long term damage to
your relationship because then you might start looking at other
people and look at that as yeah, frog, what.

Speaker 16 (23:17):
Well, here's the problem in my house. And I don't
understand why this is a thing. If Lisa passes gas,
she's like, nobody's.

Speaker 7 (23:25):
Supposed to say anything. But if I do it, she
yells at.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Me, Well, there's no that. It makes no sense.

Speaker 16 (23:31):
No, why Like why am I not allowed to fart?
But she's okay with it, like it's okay for her,
it's an accident.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
Why but you, she probably lets one slip. You're the
kind of guy who lifts one leg and pulls the
other arm in.

Speaker 7 (23:43):
Like That's exactly what I did last night in the bathroom.
I'm like, wait, I put my arm in the air.
I'm like wait, wait, wait for it, and then I
pulled down on it like a horn.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Well I know, like, okay, okay, So there is a difference.
I've got Victoria here, Hi, Victoria. Why so you've been
married five years now, is this behavior common in your
relationship of five year marriage?

Speaker 29 (24:05):
I mean, you know, we've been together for about ten
years and married for five and it is only within
the last year, because of our living situation, that my
husband has been able to accept the fact that I'm
just gonna walk into the bathroom. Oh, only within the
last year, like he used to, you know, keep the
door closed and last while he was in the shower,
so I couldn't even look in the mirror, like there's

(24:27):
one bathroom in this house.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
So wait, wait, wait, what what changed? I mean, what
changed that now makes it all okay for all the
all the walls to come down?

Speaker 30 (24:36):
You know, I'm not sure he's so, I'm not sure
he accepts that it's okay. I think it's because of
our living situation, only having one bathroom in the house
of six people on a baby, that he's just he
just had to accept it.

Speaker 29 (24:49):
No matter what's this.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
Let me tell you something, Victoria. This is the difference
between me and Alex or me and you're you. I
close the door and lock it even if I'm b
myself at the apartment. So I don't know, it's maybe
it's just habit, it's just habit.

Speaker 15 (25:04):
I'm not.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
I'm not expecting someone to.

Speaker 19 (25:06):
Like, oh you're poohing.

Speaker 2 (25:08):
Hi, who are you? Why are you here?

Speaker 12 (25:11):
Now?

Speaker 8 (25:12):
I'm the complete opposite.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
Doors always open here, all right, Victoria, thank you, thanks
for listening to us.

Speaker 6 (25:17):
People know, Hi, Jackie, Hi, Elvis.

Speaker 30 (25:21):
Oh my god, I'm so glad I finally got through.

Speaker 10 (25:23):
It's taking me years to talk to you guys. I'm
so excited.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Well, isn't it said? It took the conversation of poohing?

Speaker 7 (25:29):
No, I know, open open the door for you.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
What's going on, Jackie?

Speaker 10 (25:33):
So I've been married for almost two years and I
still refuse if my husband has to go. Number two, Nope,
it's completely out of the question. Number one, that's that's questionable.
You know that one We're okay with. But still no,
absolutely not. The sounds and the smells. No, I have
to keep the door closed for him and vice versas
for me.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
Yes, for you, good, you know you're I guess we're
all different. You know, there's there's a vegetarians, there's meat
eating people, and then there's poohing in front of people
both ends.

Speaker 10 (26:02):
Yeah, I know, especially guys. No offense to you guys,
but you guys make a lot of more noises.

Speaker 16 (26:07):
That's not that's not fair to generalize.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
I'll be very honest with you. Mine are like little
little rabbit pellets. You never know who they're.

Speaker 24 (26:21):
No.

Speaker 10 (26:21):
And then my husband's in the bathroom like at least
a half an hour, and we only have like like
one bathroom in our apartment, so it's like it's out
of commission for like a half an hour. So if I
have to pee, it's like, well, I no, okay, I.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Know, since we've gotten this gross, let's let's let's just
keep moving forward, Jackie. So it's one thing to like,
you know, do the deed, and then you have to
you have to clean up. I don't want to be
there during the clean up one I'll five.

Speaker 6 (26:45):
I don't want to be there for that.

Speaker 24 (26:46):
The hell.

Speaker 31 (26:48):
I don't want to be.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
There talking about it. I know you got it. Sometimes
it takes more effort than others. Sometimes it's like you know,
dust and you're good. Sometimes it's it's you know, what about.

Speaker 16 (27:06):
When I leave the room, should I announce like, hey,
nobody go in there for a while.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
That's being polite, all right, Well, Jackie, thank you for listening,
and I agree with you. This is why we need doors.

Speaker 10 (27:19):
Oh exactly. Thank you guys so much. Elvis, you know
I'm big fans of you guys and the whole show.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
And Alex Well, thank you, thank you so much. I
appreciate it. Jack, you have a beautiful day. Thanks for
listening to it.

Speaker 10 (27:29):
Thank you you too. Thanks.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
Oh my god, I'm so upset.

Speaker 6 (27:32):
I'm so disturbed right now.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Thank me too. But we have we have all these
calls coming in. There's this is like this relatable thing. Wait,
hold on, I was told to go to one more
and we can move Donnie.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah, so you and your boyfriend?

Speaker 2 (27:45):
So Hi, So you and your boyfriend you're so into
each other.

Speaker 32 (27:51):
How's that okay? So we invade each other's spaces like
all the time. So we've been together for ten years.
So like sometimes I'll say, hey, come hold my hand
while pooh because I'm having a difficult time and you
need to be here for this.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
Yeah, it's like he's in the delivery room.

Speaker 10 (28:08):
Oh my god, Flavors exactly. You're delivering something, George.

Speaker 32 (28:14):
Sometimes it's support time, you know.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
But if someone says to me, but it's not like
giving birth to a baby, it's a totally different thing.
If someone says to me, I really have to pooh,
I'm dilated three centimes, I think you really should go pooh.
All right, Donnie, thank you for listening, and you're the
last call we're gonna take on this.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
I swear I'm the Mercedes Benz Interview Lounge.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
My favorites were always when a big old Dolly drag
queen will come out. A lot of them love meeting well.

Speaker 13 (28:43):
I get a kick out of those drag queens.

Speaker 33 (28:44):
People always say, oh, do you believe you like to
talk about the drug queens.

Speaker 5 (28:48):
I said, look, I don't care what the dragon?

Speaker 1 (28:50):
What was a dragon?

Speaker 2 (28:51):
To Marshall. Looking for an exceptional driving experience, find it
behind the wheel of a Mercedes Benz Suv. Experience the power,
precision and intelligence of an iconic Mercedes Benz Suv at
your local Mercedes Benz dealer.

Speaker 6 (29:06):
Today, Elvis da ran in.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
The Morning show.

Speaker 17 (29:18):
Elvis d wran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
So I learned something about producer Sam. She's on the
Rown Machine good. She was talking about this. I believe
I've read it on social media somewhere. She likes to
have and she says not in a sexual way. She
likes to have little little nibbles taken out of her back.

Speaker 6 (29:41):
Oh, I could see that.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
Maybe not taken out. That makes it sound like flesh
comes off. No, she likes it when will like bites
her back. Oh, how can that not be sexual? I'm sorry?

Speaker 6 (29:52):
Yeah, yeah, see it being like playful, like a playful bite.

Speaker 5 (29:55):
But little love bites wouldn't turn you on. I would
think it would turn you on.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
I'm just thinking about anyway. But Scary says something that
he and his girlfriend do is they talk like babies
with each other. They have baby talk.

Speaker 4 (30:10):
Oh do you only in our most private moments and
nobody has ever heard it except the two of us.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Well, we all agree that's so far from sexual.

Speaker 19 (30:18):
It's not a sexual thing.

Speaker 4 (30:19):
We're just kind of It's like I would love.

Speaker 6 (30:22):
To hear it.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah, let's hear it.

Speaker 5 (30:25):
I'm sure she's thrilled advance to my girlfriend Rob like,
I'm hungry, you hungry, Let's get some food.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
That's awesome.

Speaker 4 (30:42):
That's the thing that we have and nobody else knows that.

Speaker 5 (30:47):
Does anybody else run around slapping each other's privates and
and stuff like that, because that's a.

Speaker 13 (30:54):
Children and I do you do?

Speaker 26 (30:56):
Oh?

Speaker 24 (30:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (30:56):
Like he'll be He'll be talking to me and he'll
be saying something and at the same time, I'll put
my hand forward and grab his stuff and he'll.

Speaker 6 (31:03):
Be like, what we do stop?

Speaker 13 (31:04):
We just stop, or he'll go.

Speaker 5 (31:05):
And he'll grab my boob while I'm running past the house,
and we just start cracking up, laughing at each other.
Just so stupid.

Speaker 6 (31:11):
The boob grab is great. Brandon still has done the
thing a couple of times where he tries to lift
me up with one arm, but he does it by
like right under the crotch, like grabbing right under there.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
I'm like, oh my goodness, like he's picking up a
bowling ball.

Speaker 6 (31:24):
It's a lot of wedgies and the pulling down of
the pants.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
So these are fun ho froggy. Alsa do that all
the time. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 16 (31:36):
Did we keep choking? No, I'm sorry. I got some
sec on my throat a second ago. I thought I
had to give myself the hamlich maneuver. I couldn't get
it out. Really, Okay, we'll stuck in my windpipe. We'll
come back to you later.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Hey, uh, don't you love when an old bank becomes
a restaurant? This is my thing. I love it with those.
You know, when they build a bank, think about the
old school banks. All financial institutions were built in a
way to make you feel as if you could not
penetrate the front door they want you to. They wanted
to make you feel your money was safe, like big huge,

(32:08):
twenty foot steel doors and big columns, and you walk
in it looks like, oh, this place is going to
keep my forty five dollars very safe. And then you
see in the back the big vault.

Speaker 6 (32:20):
Oh I love the vault.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
Well, then one day that bank goes boobs up, it's
no longer around, and it turns into a restaurant. I
love those places.

Speaker 26 (32:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yeah. But then the other thing, like when a pizza
hut turns into a dry cleaning place. You definitely see
the architecture of the old pizza hut, but now you
know it has a drive through where you can pick
up your laundry. Yeah, it's just when they build these places,
they build them, you know that they have they have

(32:49):
a style guide. If pizza Hut builds a building, it
has to look like a pizza hut, right, Yeah, there's
no way to get away from that look. It's always
going to be a pizza hut in my mind, Do
you guys have any place as you know of that
used to be something else and you can still tell
it used to be that.

Speaker 24 (33:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (33:04):
In Boston, there's a club that used to be a jail.
So it has all of these little cells where you
can just sit and pop bottles, but people used to
be locked up there, so it's very weird but kind
of fun.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (33:16):
In Scranton, where they filmed the office they are where
it's based on, they have an old train station which
is now a hotel and it is the most gorgeous
hotel and when you're sitting in the lobby, you just
you picture all the people coming through the train station
and all the doors are still there, and it's just
it's so beautiful.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
There's a restaurant in the South called the gray It
used to be a Greyhound bus station that was built
back in the days where they actually had a waiting
room for people who were black. So what they decided
to do was stir that indto the current design because
it's a piece of history, right, And of course the
chef is she's just incredible. But they wanted they wanted,

(34:01):
they wanted it to tell a story of days gone by.
Thank God we're not in those days anymore. Right, Yeah,
and look up the gray I forget if it's in Charleston.
I found look it up. It's a restaurant I'm dying
to go to because they didn't want to erase the
stories that were in this lobby of this old great
Greyhound bus station. I find it fascinating. Yes, got to be.

Speaker 28 (34:23):
There's a great website called not Fooling Anybody dot com
and it has all these restaurants that used to be
restaurants that aren't anymore. Like if you look in the
Zoom Room, that used to be an Arby's, but they
just call it Hat Creek now because they didn't want
to change the sign out front.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Oh they still use the Arby's hat.

Speaker 28 (34:38):
Yeah, but it's just a different place, and they just
changed it to shape, you know, fit in the hat.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
We don't. You can always tell an I hoop like
the old ie hop designs. Like there's a place on
Long Island it used to be an eye hoop. Now
it's a real estate office. Yeah, can you you can't
mix those up?

Speaker 15 (34:55):
Right?

Speaker 2 (34:55):
I bet it still has syrup dripping down the walls.

Speaker 6 (35:00):
I think there's one in Colorado. I don't know exactly where,
but it's an old airplane that they have taken and
gutted and you can go eat inside that airplane.

Speaker 15 (35:07):
Now.

Speaker 13 (35:07):
Yeah, cool too.

Speaker 5 (35:08):
There's there's a pizza place around here. Was an old
like trolley car and they gut it out, the trolley
car and it's like a little pizzaia.

Speaker 13 (35:15):
It's so cool.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
The gray by the way is in Savannah, and uh
Mashama Bailey, who is the chef there, was originally from
Savannah and she always grew up with her you know,
eating her grandma's cooking. She left studied everything culinary arts wise,
and went back and now she's the chef. It's this
incredible restaurant and I want to go there. A former

(35:37):
Greyhound bus depot. I love that. See this is this
is the world we're living in. You know, you buy
a piece of real estate and you want to turn
it into a retail office or whatever. It already has
a really cool piece of history on it. Yeah, let
that live. Why do we have to have steel and
glass as far as the eye can see?

Speaker 5 (35:55):
Right?

Speaker 15 (35:55):
You know?

Speaker 10 (35:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (35:56):
I know Sarah on line twenty four, Let's go talk
to her. Hey, Sarah would going on?

Speaker 10 (36:01):
Hi, how are you?

Speaker 11 (36:02):
Good morning?

Speaker 2 (36:03):
We're doing okay? What's happening with you?

Speaker 6 (36:06):
Oh?

Speaker 11 (36:06):
I can't believe I'm talking to you. I've been listening
to you for so long. This is incredible.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
Well, thank you, thank you very much. Talk about that,
talk about that liquor store in Jersey that you were
talking about on your tail.

Speaker 11 (36:18):
Yeah, so in South Jersey we have an old pizza hut,
like the really old school with the brown roof, and
it had closed and it became a liquor store and
they just kind of rolled with it and now it's
called the liquor Hut.

Speaker 13 (36:33):
That's so cute.

Speaker 5 (36:34):
Well, it's cute and nasty. But you know, I'm going
over to the liquor Hut. I mean, I don't know you,
but my mind is you.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
Know, of course we know what your mind is. All right, Fine,
So where in Jersey is the liquor Hut? I may
have to roll over there today.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 11 (36:52):
It's in Turnersville. It's in South Jersey, right outside of Philly.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
All right, thank you very much, and it's a pleasure
speaking with you. Thanks for listening to us.

Speaker 11 (36:59):
You guys are amazing. I love you guys.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
H Sarah, we love you more. Thanks for calling. Be
careful getting to work today. Georgia Online twenty three. A
coffee shop. Well we're doing okay. So you know of
a coffee shop that used to be.

Speaker 10 (37:11):
A what, no, a funeral home that turned into a
coffee shop.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Oh, whoa.

Speaker 13 (37:19):
I wonder if it's haunted.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, it used to be a funeral home.

Speaker 12 (37:22):
I don't know.

Speaker 11 (37:23):
I would never go in there.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Why not?

Speaker 8 (37:26):
I don't know.

Speaker 9 (37:27):
I just feel if I.

Speaker 11 (37:28):
Was you going in there, Yeah, into funerals and lakes there,
So I don't know.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
You have a little memory there. Yeah, I don't know.
The the the coffee tastes a little like from aldehyde.
I feel pickled. All right, very good, Georgia. Thanks for listening.
I've meant to do a good business for the people
who are alive. I'd like to order a corpuccino a corps.
Sorry I messed up your joke, Brody.

Speaker 5 (37:57):
Isn't there an old liquor store down the block from
us at the radio station that turned into like a clothing.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
Yes, it was a liquor store. It turned into Snyder Yeah,
before that, it was a it was a was it's
the chain of of stores. The crew. It was a
J Crew. It was a J Crew offshoot. Yeah, absolutely
it is. But it still has the liquor store signed.
I'm like, hey, let's go get some tinos. Look, it's

(38:24):
a cardigan.

Speaker 23 (38:28):
All of you are.

Speaker 17 (38:36):
El mister Ran in the Morning Show, Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
Here's my problem with this apartment I live in here.
Nothing works. Do you live? Do you live in a
house or an apartment where there are things that just
don't work and you haven't really put the effort in
to get them fixed.

Speaker 16 (38:55):
I have things that have rules in my house, like
if you want to use something, it doesn't work properly,
so I know how to tell you the Jankeity way
to use it.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
Okay, well that means it doesn't work.

Speaker 13 (39:04):
That's the light bulb thing.

Speaker 5 (39:06):
So like in the dining room there's like two light
bulbs out, and then in the kitchen there's a light
bulb out. And if you go and I keep saying
Sheldon and I are like, yeah, we got to change
those light bulbs. We have the light bulbs. We're just
too lazy to change the light bulb.

Speaker 24 (39:18):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Yeah, the light bulbs are an easy change. That's an
easy thing.

Speaker 5 (39:21):
What doesn't work in you think?

Speaker 2 (39:22):
Okay, well, here's the list. Wi Fi not working. I
don't have any streaming at all. I can't watch streaming
TV unless I jump it off my phone through Roku.
There's a list. Oh, the building is starting to leak again,
which is not my responsibility. It's a long list.

Speaker 13 (39:41):
Yeah, that's a lot things.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
Thats just it's just one by one things are peeling
off the onion and I'll soon I'll be left with nothing.

Speaker 6 (39:48):
Yeah, I feel you.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
You have these problems.

Speaker 6 (39:51):
You're right, God, every day something different is wrong with it.
The maintenance guys are my best friends, because there's the
floors are janky, the light switches don't work. One of
the toilets spread me the other day and it wasn't
a tushy spirit toilet problem too.

Speaker 24 (40:03):
Was going on.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
It's an expensive Japanese toilet doesn't work.

Speaker 6 (40:06):
These seems to.

Speaker 5 (40:08):
Be things that, like you, the people that run the
apartment complex should be doing.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
You would think, no, I own my here's the problem.
And I was thinking about this on the way to
work today and this really could this could be an
issue with my relationship with Alex One of the reasons,
one of the many reasons I married Alex is because
he's the kind of guy who can fix things. He
fixes nothing nothing. I'll say, hey, I got some some

(40:35):
things that need to be done around the house this weekend. Okay,
I'll get never gets to anything, never does anything. He'll
actually bring a screwdriver out and like screw a screw
halfway in and then put the screwdriver down and leave
it there and that's the end of it.

Speaker 6 (40:48):
Now you have a hole in your foot.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
I'm thinking, I'm thinking looking, But we want to continue
with this relationship. You need to start fixing things around
the house because that's your that's your thing.

Speaker 5 (40:56):
It's also hot when they fix things around the house.
Do you fix that? You're so good.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
I'd love to know what that feels like.

Speaker 5 (41:03):
I'll send Sheldon to your house then help you.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
Is he a fixer?

Speaker 5 (41:06):
Yeah, he fixes lots. He always comes up with these
crazy crafty ways of fixing things. Yeah, it's good, all.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
Right, So I'm not the only one that's Who are
you talking to in there?

Speaker 5 (41:18):
What's your name?

Speaker 2 (41:19):
Who is that?

Speaker 26 (41:20):
This is Colleen? She said her parents' house is like is.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
It falling apart? Yep, let me talk to you, said
Alex over there to fix Colleen's house. Hi Colleen, how
are you?

Speaker 17 (41:31):
Hi?

Speaker 5 (41:31):
I'm great, how are you well?

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Life is just falling apart around us. The house is
caving it. You love it, you live, you live in
this kind of world.

Speaker 12 (41:40):
Uh no, My parents' house is that way. So when
I go visit them, I'm like, nothing works and they're like, no, no,
the toilet's not broken. You just have to take the
back of the tank off and jiggle it.

Speaker 24 (41:49):
Funny.

Speaker 12 (41:52):
You just have to lift the handle up, and it's
like everything. And when we have company over, everyone's.

Speaker 24 (41:57):
Like, why is everything broken?

Speaker 12 (41:58):
They're like, no, no, it's not broken.

Speaker 11 (41:59):
It's fine.

Speaker 13 (42:00):
They know how to use it as long as they
know it's the broken house.

Speaker 12 (42:03):
But you know, when you host Christmas, you can't be like, oh, ps,
that lights, but you have to splam your hand into
the work.

Speaker 10 (42:09):
Don't worry.

Speaker 5 (42:10):
Hey Grandma, We're so sorry.

Speaker 2 (42:12):
This is what's happening.

Speaker 5 (42:14):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
Question is this like a getting older thing? Is that
what it is? Because my house is falling apart around.

Speaker 5 (42:19):
I don't know it is, probably, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
They're in their sixties.

Speaker 12 (42:22):
I think they used to care and now they're like, well,
one day we'll just move. But you know, I like
the things fixed in the meantime.

Speaker 5 (42:29):
I have appliances that don't work. Is a vacuument appliance?

Speaker 21 (42:32):
Is that?

Speaker 5 (42:32):
Okay? So I have a Dyson.

Speaker 31 (42:33):
I have a.

Speaker 5 (42:34):
Dyson that has like the long neck. Yeah one, okay,
so it goes, okay, problem?

Speaker 13 (42:42):
You know how I fix it.

Speaker 5 (42:43):
I smacked the side of it and then it sucks
for like a few minutes, and then it does it again,
and then I smack the side of it again. And
everybody keeps telling me just called Dyson and replace it.
But the laziness of me is like a call tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
Call someone. Oh well, you can call it. I know you.
That would take like moments out of your day. I
know you're busy, and it would fix my problem.

Speaker 26 (43:06):
You know.

Speaker 7 (43:06):
Does Dyson have a lifetime warranty?

Speaker 5 (43:07):
I think I don't know if it has a lifetime warranty,
but they have troubleshooting and depending on what.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
It is, what noise does it make it against?

Speaker 5 (43:16):
And then I go like this and I hit it
and it's fine.

Speaker 34 (43:19):
It such as life, and I think something's clogged, but
I can't find what it is.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
I don't know, but that's the thing. We live in
this world of too many things that that can break.
There are too many moving parts in our world. Don't
you agree with that? Yeah, Colleen, you agree with that.

Speaker 14 (43:40):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (43:40):
Absolutely absolutely. All right, Well, best of luck with your parents.
Just go there and smack stuff around. I know, wow, wow,
I shouldn't speak so soon because everything here in the
control room has been working so far.

Speaker 6 (43:54):
There it goes, it's out changed it.

Speaker 17 (43:58):
Don't answer the phone to Elvis Duran. The Elvis Duran
phone tap.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
This is one of those you make the call phone taps.
We love these. Oh yeah, we just connect you with
whoever you want a phone tap and let you do
all the work. It's all up to you.

Speaker 35 (44:12):
Oh, we're gonna get my husband, Mike. We got this
pool and stowed a couple of weeks ago, and he
wanted no part of this pool. So anything that we
can do to try to get him fired up about
the pools falling down or something like that, he'll go
nuts and move his mind. Go Mike, Yeah, Oh my god,
you're never gonna believe what I did.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
What you do?

Speaker 35 (44:33):
I went outside to mow.

Speaker 15 (44:34):
The lawn and oh my god, who'd you do?

Speaker 31 (44:38):
I ran into the pool, into the pool.

Speaker 33 (44:42):
I ran into the buttet of the pool and it
made a crack in the pool.

Speaker 15 (44:45):
Dan, let me ask you something. Why are we trying to.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
Mold lawn because it needed to be mowed.

Speaker 12 (44:50):
I don't know.

Speaker 33 (44:51):
I was trying to stake healthy out with the work
in the yacht and stuff.

Speaker 5 (44:55):
I don't know.

Speaker 22 (44:56):
Well, do you know every time you try to do
something you something happened.

Speaker 31 (45:00):
You tried to mow the long list, and you put
the gas with the oil, you tried.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
To weed, whack, you poke the thing?

Speaker 22 (45:06):
Why are you two doing things like that for.

Speaker 24 (45:08):
I'm just trying to help, you know. I don't know
what to do.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Maybe I could like, hie, well there's the pool's done.

Speaker 4 (45:13):
Go to pool people.

Speaker 15 (45:13):
I don't know what it's broke?

Speaker 2 (45:14):
What here's a warranty like?

Speaker 27 (45:16):
I don't know.

Speaker 35 (45:16):
Well, maybe there's something I could put in there or something.

Speaker 7 (45:19):
I don't know, but there's nothing you can do.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
What could you do the pull it's broke, it's coming out.

Speaker 22 (45:24):
Are we gonna do?

Speaker 24 (45:25):
I'm not a pool guy.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Pull the pool people?

Speaker 33 (45:27):
What pool people?

Speaker 35 (45:28):
The place that we bought it?

Speaker 1 (45:29):
From Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 35 (45:31):
Well, I just don't know what to do about the yard.

Speaker 33 (45:33):
It's like all flooded.

Speaker 15 (45:34):
It's gonna flood. Yeah, the whole yard's gonna flood.

Speaker 35 (45:36):
Oh my god. The water is like I think it's
going like into the pinion coop or something.

Speaker 22 (45:40):
Yeah, probably it's eight thousand gowns. It's gonna flood the
whole neighborhood.

Speaker 15 (45:45):
You did me.

Speaker 35 (45:45):
Well, what am I gonna do about the birds in
the back?

Speaker 1 (45:48):
I don't know.

Speaker 22 (45:49):
I have no idea.

Speaker 35 (45:50):
God, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 15 (45:52):
How could you do something like that?

Speaker 31 (45:53):
I don't understand you, Like, what.

Speaker 36 (45:56):
Are you trying to move the wall for?

Speaker 17 (45:57):
You?

Speaker 2 (45:57):
Just move on?

Speaker 21 (45:59):
So I just thought I would help you.

Speaker 7 (46:01):
I was cleaning the hang and not helping me by
doing things like that, you're not helping me.

Speaker 31 (46:05):
I tried to tell you that already, didn't I know?
I told you that would you pulled the thing out
and you putting oil in the gage?

Speaker 35 (46:13):
Oh my god, Now that's freaking.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
The water is all above the outlet.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
And the spark's coming out of the pigeon coop.

Speaker 33 (46:18):
What am I supposed to do?

Speaker 1 (46:19):
Now?

Speaker 2 (46:19):
What are you doing?

Speaker 35 (46:20):
The electric is sparking the pigeon coop or something that's
Oh my.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
God, I'm pulling, I'm plugging, shutting, plugged in.

Speaker 22 (46:28):
Oh, you'll get away from it.

Speaker 15 (46:30):
Then get the got it there.

Speaker 6 (46:32):
Oh my god, No, don't even call me back.

Speaker 15 (46:34):
The more I'm working, Okay, No, I.

Speaker 24 (46:36):
Don't know what to do. Go shut the break the
hor downstairs and get the got in the yard.

Speaker 36 (46:43):
What the you doing?

Speaker 14 (46:46):
What the are you doing here?

Speaker 19 (46:49):
Michael?

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Oh, get the.

Speaker 15 (46:57):
Got to make me have a bot attack.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
Over here with Elvis Duran phone tap.

Speaker 25 (47:04):
This phone table was pre recorded permission granted by all parts.

Speaker 17 (47:08):
The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
Elvis Duran in the Morning Show, we're rolling.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Back into carpool season right where more and more people are,
you know, they're getting back to being on schedule and
being prompt and on time. So is it too early
doing people are carpooling right now? Like Nate was saying,
how he pulls into the garage every day and there's
a car in front of him. It's what guys in

(47:47):
the car pools together were construction.

Speaker 3 (47:49):
Workers, and they get at they don't say a word,
And I just feel like that must be the most
miserable carpool ever. These four guys that probably just are
so bitter they have to go to work five o'clock
in the morning.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
They get out and just go on their way. They're
separate ways. It's not supposed to be unless you make
it that way. It's not supposed to be like a
social get together. It is, you know, it's a ride.
It's an economically sound way to ride together. So I
know that you guys carpool every once in a while,
like in the morning.

Speaker 4 (48:18):
Yeah, sure, I drive, and then usually it's Sam and
Andrew and sometimes Gandhi. Yeah, and I got to say
I feel sometimes more like car service than carpool because
you drive every time because.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
I'm the driver.

Speaker 4 (48:31):
And then but then there's a pickup spot, so everyone's
got to make up to make it to the pickup
spot on time.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
And usually it's.

Speaker 4 (48:36):
Andrew running down the block because he couldn't make it,
you know, so he kind of haul hall.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
Okay, that's the carpool thing. Though, if you're gonna ride
in a carpool, it's not gonna be as convenient as
riding by yourself. Okay. But there's there's gotta be some
political crap going on too. Let's say you're car pulling
every day with three other people and you just you're like, oh,
dear god, no, I'd rather just be alone in my car.
I don't I don't want to listen to them. I
don't want it. I don't want to like yeah, you know,

(49:03):
and so you have to like break out of the carpool.
It's it's almost like breaking up with whoever cuts your hair,
you know. I don't know. Oh yeah, you know. How
do you get out of this without hurting their feelings?
Like escaping your carpool? I don't know.

Speaker 6 (49:15):
I don't know. I don't know if you can do
it without hurting feelings unless it's you know, a feelings
mutual thing and you both hate each other. And then
it's like, oh good, thank god.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
You could easily lie and go. You know, I'd just
rather leave the house later. So you guys, go ahead.
What is it like a vote thing?

Speaker 3 (49:28):
You know, if you have to extricate somebody from the carpool,
did the other carpoolers.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Kind of just like vote say no, yeah, we got
to get this. That's a good question, that would be
that's a good question. Yeah, yeah, I want to hear
from you. Text us now at fifty five one hundred.
My text isn't working, so you guys have to watch it.
Textus at fifty five to one hundred. We want to
hear about your carpool nightmares, whatever.

Speaker 6 (49:49):
Who got kicked out and why exactly?

Speaker 2 (49:52):
So the questions come up, what are the rules of carpooling.
I'm assuming if you're driving, you're in charge of the
air conditioning and the radio whatever you're listening to.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
Absolutely, I'd also like to set a rule that when when,
if so the carpool person in charge is listening to
the radio or whatever they're listening to.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Don't have competing media, like I can't.

Speaker 4 (50:13):
You can't be in your back seat play on Instagram
videos and stuff, because I want to hear the whole
car needs to hear what I'm listening to.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
Oh okay, so you're driving, so you you rule, you
rule the cast. I need to hear the news in
the morning. I don't.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
I don't want to hear people talking too loudly because
I want to hear those reports.

Speaker 6 (50:28):
Oh yeah, I talked the whole way in today she
did yep, Oh.

Speaker 7 (50:32):
No, I don't mind that. That's it.

Speaker 16 (50:33):
When when I'm riding with Lisa in the car and
I have the radio on, and all of a sudden,
she's listening to some Instagram video and she turns it
up loud so she can hear it. I'm like, yo,
put the earbuds in. This is when I'm driving. We're
listening to what I want to listen to.

Speaker 7 (50:46):
I'm sorry, that's.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
That's the rule. If you're driving, you're in charge. You
are the ruler there. Yeah, Ganda, what do you think?

Speaker 6 (50:52):
Okay, what if all of the people in the carpool
are equally paying for gas or tolls or whatever, you
guys are all splitting that financially, does that person still
get the right to do everything.

Speaker 16 (51:04):
Yes, because they're paying the insurance on the car and
paying for the car. So yes, Okay, there's still more
financially committed to what's going on there than everybody else.

Speaker 6 (51:14):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
I love how we're making the rules right here, right now,
Line nineteen, currently in her teacher carpool. Let's go live
to a carpool here. Come along, let's see what's going
on in Nicole's car. How you doing, Nicole?

Speaker 36 (51:26):
I'm good.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
How are you doing well? All right? So, how many
people in the car as we speak.

Speaker 36 (51:32):
So there's four people including me.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
Okay, now, and you guys are all good friends? Or
how do you all get together to form this carpool?

Speaker 36 (51:41):
Well, we work in the city, but we live in
Long Islands, so we all live, you know, geographically close
to each other. I'm our friends.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
Okay, Oh there, How long have you been doing this
with the same group?

Speaker 36 (51:55):
Oh, they've been doing it for like what twenty of them?
So two of them many years and then two others
of us just reading on it a couple of years ago.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
Wow. Now, hold on, I can't imagine riding into the
city every single day for twenty years with the same person.
But obviously it's working out for you guys, right, I mean,
is there ever a political struggle in the car? Like
who you smell? Or ooh, I don't want to listen
to that.

Speaker 14 (52:20):
No.

Speaker 36 (52:21):
The only issue we have is that I'm not the
best driver, so sometimes I worry that if I stop
short all more time, they're going to kick me out
of carpool. But other than that, no, good.

Speaker 32 (52:33):
We have the system.

Speaker 36 (52:34):
You know, Like it's six am, don't thok to me,
don't say good morning, just one morning and sometimes we talk,
sometimes we don't. Sometimes we watch not forks, sometimes we
you know, tell stories. It's just no one has feeling shirt.

Speaker 30 (52:52):
We all do what we need to do.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
Good. She seems like you guys have figured it out right.
I'm sure there are some other car pools listening going
oooh god. I wish I was in that car in
the moo. But you know, all right, you gotta get
to work. Well listen, uh and who pays for everything?

Speaker 24 (53:08):
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 (53:10):
I mean, do you guys? Do you just take turns
driving and that's how that's your contribution? Or do you
we paid for a.

Speaker 36 (53:19):
Car spot so we changed everyone who says that a
good schedule? Very organized people in this car.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
All right, there you go. Well listen, thanks for your
infhon Nicole. You tell tell everyone in the car pool
we love them and you have a safe drive to work.

Speaker 36 (53:32):
Okay, Well do shout out ps what I'm saying too.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
There you go, all right. Line seventeen is Anthony. I'll
listen to why they had to kick someone out of
the car. How you knowing? Anthony? Hello lady, Hello lady,
So are you carpooling right now? Or do you carpool
just periodically.

Speaker 14 (53:51):
No, no, this is, this is, this is a couple
of years ago, we gave.

Speaker 24 (53:55):
We gave the go one.

Speaker 36 (53:59):
It got him for a couple of days, and then
it went right back to being rand again.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
What do I mean. He had a body odor problem.
Here is body order. So every day he would wed
oh dear god.

Speaker 15 (54:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 14 (54:14):
Yeah, so we gave in the warning.

Speaker 4 (54:17):
It got better, then it got bad again.

Speaker 14 (54:19):
So we just said we were ending the carpool, were
canceling the carpool.

Speaker 23 (54:22):
But it was a lie.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
We just got rid of him and we just kept
carpooling ourselves.

Speaker 7 (54:30):
I think got very fair. Like you gave him the opportunity,
he cleaned it up. Then he went back the other way.
You like, hey, listen, you gotta go.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
And you never found out you're still carpooling behind his back. No, okay,
just one day the carpool viporated. I don't know what
happened to them. They're just like, all right, well, look
so now you're no longer carpooling. Now you just you'd
rather be in the car on your own. Obviously, Anthony,
I guess he's okay. Look he kicked us out of

(54:57):
the car. We're just do we smell? I don't know. Well, okay,
here's the ultimate is Justin still in line eighteen? I think, Hey,
Justin Hell already a lady? All right, tell everyone why
you were once kicked out of a carpool.

Speaker 14 (55:13):
So yeah, definitely not my proudest moment. I had something
terrible to eat the previous night, unfortunately, and uh I
was needless to stay kind of lighting the car up.
We had to pull over, and I was ejected from
the car for being gassy.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
And that's all like, yeah, I mean, what did you do? Question?

Speaker 14 (55:38):
We live in a country, you know, a country town,
so everybody kind of you know.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Knows everybody.

Speaker 7 (55:43):
I just called a friend that morning.

Speaker 14 (55:44):
And I've unfortunately not been invited back to that.

Speaker 15 (55:48):
Car pool since.

Speaker 14 (55:49):
I couldn't tell you why.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
But it must have been a moment.

Speaker 14 (55:55):
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. It was probably some of
my better work.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
But uh yeah, lord, all right, well okay, but so
are you friends with these guys at least?

Speaker 15 (56:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 14 (56:08):
Yeah, we're still friends. Like I said, I've I don't
know that I'm I'm welcome back in the car pool,
but for the most part, where you know, we're still friends,
We're making it work all.

Speaker 2 (56:18):
Right, but you know, as your friends, they only want
to meet you in large, well ventilated areas.

Speaker 6 (56:25):
On the side of the friends. With this one, at
first I was feeling bad, like, oh, you have a
stomach ache. That's kind of sad. But then you seemed
a little proud of it, and I bet you were
making it worse in that car.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
Yeah, I am.

Speaker 14 (56:37):
I'm not on it against them, I'll be honest.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
Justin have have a safe and non Gussie a way
to work today. Thanks for listening to us. Uh Becky
and Savannah George. I love Savannah. So you had to
leave your carpool because of what Why do you have
to leave the carpool? Becky?

Speaker 31 (56:56):
Then girl that I was riding with written Kroeneld the ac.

Speaker 14 (57:02):
So like in August and September and Georgia, when.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
You're having to be in the car for an hour to.

Speaker 14 (57:08):
Get to work, it's miserable.

Speaker 6 (57:11):
It's like a humans violation.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
And he also said she drove really slow, so it
took forever to get to work or get home. Right, Yeah,
she drove.

Speaker 14 (57:20):
Like ten fifteen miles to hour under the speed limit.

Speaker 8 (57:23):
So she just like it was like riding with a
very very old grandma.

Speaker 14 (57:29):
That just wanted to be super safe.

Speaker 37 (57:32):
I understand, but we had to leave super early to
get to work because she drove so slow.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
So what's your deal now, Becky?

Speaker 15 (57:39):
Are you?

Speaker 2 (57:39):
Are you in a new carpool or did you just
give it all up and just say I'll be alone.
I'll be okay.

Speaker 35 (57:44):
Uh.

Speaker 15 (57:44):
At that point I gave it up.

Speaker 14 (57:46):
I was like, I'll just drive myself, Like this isn't
worth it, I'll drive myself.

Speaker 16 (57:51):
But now we.

Speaker 14 (57:52):
Live in Savannah and the commute isn't that bad?

Speaker 2 (57:56):
All right, good, all right? So Becky left a carpool.
Thanks for lest me, Becky. Now what about the disgusting
things people do in carpools? I mean, you could be
at that hour of the morning, at your worst, you
know what I'm saying, not really caring about other people's
feelings or well, for instance, one were called Sam on
seventeen got kicked out. Asked Sam?

Speaker 15 (58:16):
Why?

Speaker 2 (58:16):
Gandhi Sam?

Speaker 6 (58:17):
Why did you get kicked out of the carpool?

Speaker 24 (58:20):
Man?

Speaker 15 (58:22):
I'll keep the real I was could have been my
toenails in.

Speaker 16 (58:24):
The back, Sam clipping toils.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
Hey, Hey, the girl was in their makeup. Why couldn't
I I could my toails. I was going to a
couple of long days of work.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
Man, you know long.

Speaker 7 (58:41):
It exactly involves shrapnel, Like.

Speaker 15 (58:48):
I think I would get over it.

Speaker 14 (58:49):
At that point, I was like, man, I'd be my
stuff getting my stuff over.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
Check out. Are you out of there?

Speaker 31 (58:55):
Now?

Speaker 2 (58:55):
Are you done? They just kicked you out? Oh yeah,
you drive alone every day, but of your toenails. All right,
it makes sense, I get it. Thanks for the warning, Sam,
thanks for listening to us. And there you go. Carpool rules.
You know, we sit here in the comfort of our
little air conditioning studio every morning, not really understanding what
the life in traffic is all about every morning, and

(59:17):
then you know when you can roll into the lives
of the carpoolers. Pretty interesting, all right, So thank you.
We hope you, all of you and your carpool vote
for us every morning if you don't mind.

Speaker 1 (59:29):
The Brooklyn Boys podcast.

Speaker 4 (59:32):
I want to read his nuts one because she gave
us two straws out of five.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
How's your corn beef? If we take another BikeE? Okay?
Well what is his review of our podcast?

Speaker 37 (59:40):
Abe?

Speaker 2 (59:40):
Seventy seven?

Speaker 19 (59:41):
Yeah, Ab says stop eating during the podcast, dummies.

Speaker 17 (59:46):
Listen to the Brooklyn Boys podcast on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Elvis Duran
in the Morning Show. This is Elvis Duran in the
Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
So who in your circle is the worst damn driver?

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
No to man, shut up?

Speaker 13 (01:00:05):
Scary scary, it's scary.

Speaker 6 (01:00:06):
It's scary. Here, it's scary scary.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
And then Daniel's number two. Yeah, so I'm Diamond, come here.
So yesterday we're supposed to meet for lunch and it
got all twisted because anyway, things happened. We lost our
table at Odeon. It's a long story. It's okay, we'll
find at the restaurants. We're good, We're gonna be okay.
But anyway, so Odeon is only three blocks from where

(01:00:31):
we are, but Scary insists on getting in his car
and driving, yes, and then finding into the parking space.
My point is, why don't you walk?

Speaker 4 (01:00:40):
Well, I'll tell you why, because then when we're done
at the restaurant, I can get a quick getaway and
head home.

Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
It's three blocks.

Speaker 13 (01:00:47):
It's three blocks plus I.

Speaker 4 (01:00:48):
Only brought a hoodie with me yesterday and I didn't
have a jacket, heavy jacket.

Speaker 19 (01:00:52):
It was cold, so, yeah, I wanted to drive.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
So what makes it worse is scary? Says well, I
would to meet you there. I'm just gonna drive and
then all these people are like, oh, will ride with you?

Speaker 5 (01:01:02):
Kelly ys Gandhi said that yesterday.

Speaker 13 (01:01:06):
Go please don't tell me you're getting in that car.

Speaker 6 (01:01:07):
Absolutely yesterday, I said, I'll get in that car. It
is cold, Diamond too, Yep, you are feeding the beast. Okay,
so so doing it anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
Nate and I walked to Odeon with Ali and then
you three took the car three blocks to find and
of course you weren't there for a while because you
couldn't find a park.

Speaker 19 (01:01:26):
It's New York City parking.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
We've always talked about how scary is driving is the
most god awful driving in the world.

Speaker 13 (01:01:32):
Yeah, it is terrible.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
So Diamond finally got to see that yesterday.

Speaker 26 (01:01:38):
I'm not happy about it, but it was an experience,
you know, scary. I think I don't want to talk
too much crap about you because you were nice enough
to give me a ride, right, and I was real
have to say that it was cold yesterday. The wind
was whipping. Loved it, but the wind wasn't the only
thing whipping Scary was and I I'm pretty sure that
my neck is a little tight this morning because of

(01:01:59):
the way that my head was going back and forth,
back and forth.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Yes, he's mom drives like they actually Scary actually puts
his left foot on the brake and his right foot
on the gas.

Speaker 6 (01:02:11):
Has to be and it's not a stick shift.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
And Froggy is like the expert driver on our show.
If you were ever with someone who was driving with
their left foot on the brake and their right foot
on the gas, wouldn't you just want to take a hostage.

Speaker 7 (01:02:26):
I would want to take a hostage.

Speaker 16 (01:02:27):
However, it is Scary's car, and when you get into
his car you are susceptible to how he drives.

Speaker 7 (01:02:34):
Yeah, I would, Scary. I would unlock the driver door,
get in and drive away.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
Well, you can be susceptible for how he drives, but
he has to be susceptible for us making fun of
his bad driving.

Speaker 7 (01:02:44):
Yes, exact after that, don't let him in.

Speaker 26 (01:02:46):
Right, Well, he won't have to worry about me being
in it again unless it's like two degrees. I mean,
just like you can't get in that car if you're
if you have an empty stomach. Like, honestly, if you're
in there that early in the morning, you're whipping around.
By the time you get here, you're in the morning,
you're gonna throw up.

Speaker 24 (01:03:01):
You know.

Speaker 6 (01:03:02):
Don literally said, how do you guys do this in
the morning? How are you okay when you come in?
This explains a lot about all three of you.

Speaker 5 (01:03:09):
I feel bad for you, Scary, because you're nice enough
to do all these things for everybody.

Speaker 13 (01:03:15):
Take them here and bring them.

Speaker 5 (01:03:16):
Here, take them three blocks to the complain, don't get
in the car.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
Then okay, Okay. By my point, I'm not trying to
say that Scary needs going to be a better driver.
I'm just saying we all vote that he is the
worst driver. That's all this is.

Speaker 19 (01:03:31):
Can I have a rebuttle here?

Speaker 15 (01:03:33):
You can.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
Just saying okay because of where I'm personally, I'm not
saying where he.

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
Blames don't do it, don't do it. It's just where
he says it's because of my upbringing in Brooklyn that
I'm a bad driver.

Speaker 4 (01:03:46):
I grew up in an area of Brooklyn where you
had to be assertive to get parking spaces. Now this
is Manhattan, all the bike racks and all the food
sheds are taking up any spot that may be left,
and all the construction people are out there.

Speaker 19 (01:03:59):
So you're driving aster.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
Is gonna open up more spaces.

Speaker 4 (01:04:02):
I don't understand the map about the hurky jerkiness of
the foreward reverse, because I'm like.

Speaker 24 (01:04:06):
Is that no, no jery, I have to leave the now.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
Okay. So you'll be driving ninety miles an hour down
whatever avenue and then you'll see a little slot between
two cars. You'll work yeah, verse and then you look, oh,
there's the fire hydrant. Then forward.

Speaker 6 (01:04:22):
But that's talent, seeing my both that talent, Daniel, you
would puke everywhere. If you were in his car, you
would puke, and you would change your tunes so fast.
And here's the thing, You're right, It is so nice
that you take us places. It is. You just have
to prepare yourself. Maybe wear a neck brace.

Speaker 13 (01:04:35):
I'm not even kidding.

Speaker 5 (01:04:36):
There was a moment I was sitting in.

Speaker 6 (01:04:38):
The front seat he did the er and I felt
this on the back of the seat because I thought
it was his body.

Speaker 2 (01:04:44):
I thought it was a spot and then it was not.

Speaker 19 (01:04:45):
I'm like, oh, no, standing anytime, all right, So motomize it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
You are a very sweet person, of very kind soul
for taking people three.

Speaker 6 (01:04:53):
Blocks It ended up being like twenty trying to find
that parking spot.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
Well, then we had to leave the exactly we had
to leave because we got kicked off our table. We
had to go find we had to find into the restaurant.
And you know, it was just a day.

Speaker 19 (01:05:05):
It was just something you weren't complaining about.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
Was the warmth of my car?

Speaker 13 (01:05:08):
No, it was great.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
Listen, your car was warm because of the friction of
bodies bumping against the walls and the ceiling. What mate?
What I agree with Froggy and Danielle. If you guys
don't like it, then you you're missing the point. Yeah, no,
I get the point. I get the point. But when
you get a free route somewhere, what's the point? You

(01:05:31):
don't complain at all, Like, you don't say a word.
You're like, all right, I guess what. I didn't get
a free ride. I'm not riding with them. Okay, let
me think about let's talk about this. If it was
a city.

Speaker 3 (01:05:40):
Bus you were on and it was a hurcey jerky ride,
would you go to the driver and say, hey, you know,
you really need to figure this out exactly.

Speaker 26 (01:05:47):
Absolutely, I've done it before.

Speaker 13 (01:05:52):
No, absolutely not. Hey, it's called a review.

Speaker 26 (01:05:55):
People leave reviews on everything.

Speaker 13 (01:06:00):
Okay, okay, we're not an uber driver.

Speaker 6 (01:06:01):
Where you leave This is hilarious because I know Danielle
would pitch up a storm if she was in that car.
Ronnie Roggie would have a heart attack.

Speaker 5 (01:06:10):
Though, if he was giving me a ride and it
was a favor, I would shut my mouth and take
the ride.

Speaker 6 (01:06:15):
I think that you would.

Speaker 13 (01:06:17):
I'm not taking the ride. I'm telling you know, but
we're not.

Speaker 2 (01:06:21):
We're not on a ride at Universal Studios. But they
don't get in the car. That's why I don't said
to ride. It's three blocks first of all. Second of all,
don't want to ride. Third, he's being very kind in
taking you all. I'm saying he's the worst driver. That's

(01:06:42):
all I'm saying. You can you can know for a
full fact that he's the worst driver, But you're still
going to get in that car with Get you to
point to yes, shut up, that's not a question.

Speaker 19 (01:06:54):
It's still an opinion. It's not a fact that I'm
the worst driver.

Speaker 2 (01:06:58):
The fact it's a fact.

Speaker 19 (01:06:59):
How I have nice record? Knock on for Micael I have.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
So Okay, so the question is is who in your
group is the most god awful driver? Have this conversation.

Speaker 5 (01:07:12):
I think that if he got into the spot the
way he says he did, I would be like, dude,
that is impressive because that you're right in New York City. Unfortunately,
sometimes this is how you gotta drive. It's crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:07:26):
I've seen scary pillow parallel park. I mean, he is
a little hurky jerky, but boy does he get that
thing in there with inches to spare parallel parking.

Speaker 6 (01:07:34):
Heurkey jerky is one thing, but driving down a straight
road hurky jerky it is a completely different story.

Speaker 5 (01:07:38):
There's no need for it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
Okay. The second worst driver, of course Danielle because of
her record.

Speaker 5 (01:07:43):
But the third you guys don't even know my record.

Speaker 2 (01:07:46):
Poopheads the third language. The third worst driver is Nate anyway,
because he doesn't focus.

Speaker 7 (01:07:56):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
And he'll be nice enough to pick me up at
the apartment and we'll roll ahead like twenty feet to
stop it and stop light and the light will be red.
He'll just go right through it and the car's like
coming right at me. I'm like, wait, God, I had
temporary color blindness. I think that's a thing. I couldn't
tell that that was red. Well, you know it's a
red light because it's the top line, yeah, and the
bottom line green.

Speaker 13 (01:08:17):
Right, that's the dining of the light.

Speaker 24 (01:08:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:20):
Yeah, that doesn't mean I get it now, so I'll
be I'll get in the car. Hey, good morning morning.
How are you doing. I'm doing okay.

Speaker 13 (01:08:32):
I'm playing my mom for my bed driving.

Speaker 5 (01:08:34):
I had one hundred and five fever after I got
the COVID vaccination.

Speaker 13 (01:08:38):
Right, so my mom is.

Speaker 5 (01:08:39):
Driving me someplace, and she's stopping, starting, stopping starting. I
was so sick with the fever, and I still said,
stop the car, get the hell out. I have to drive.

Speaker 13 (01:08:48):
I cannot drive with you.

Speaker 5 (01:08:49):
She is the worst.

Speaker 6 (01:08:51):
He was giving you a ride your mom.

Speaker 5 (01:08:53):
No she doesn't. Actually, she forgot her suitcase and I
was nice enough to go with her to get it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
So well, bottom line makes sense. One is we love
scary If he gives your ride three blocks, great, it
was nice. But as this texture says, maybe you should
take a little drama mine before you go take it. Hey, okay,
so have that conversation with your friends today. Who in
your circle is the worst driver? And then watch the
fun begame.

Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
Ha ha, laugh Bunny.

Speaker 17 (01:09:22):
Elvis Durant in the Morning Show. In the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
Question, are you better looking, worse looking, or the same
as your significant other? Let's say you're you are you're
dating uh, someone who's kind of hot. You know, You're like, yeah,
you're hot or maybe you're you know, I'm hotter here.
You know, you say to yourself, you know, no one
wants to play the the comparison game. Now when you

(01:09:55):
when you're dating Gandhi, do you tend to gravitate to
where people you feel are hotter or of equal value
whatever or not value. I hate that word. Or you
know what I'm saying, You.

Speaker 6 (01:10:06):
Think they're hotter than me, like a lot hotter than me. Yeah,
I'm okay with it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
Okay, No, I have no problem with it.

Speaker 6 (01:10:13):
I don't mind. I like looking at him being like.

Speaker 2 (01:10:14):
Hello, I know I got that.

Speaker 6 (01:10:16):
Yeah, look what I landed.

Speaker 5 (01:10:18):
My husband just lost like some weight. He's been like
really working out and everything. He looks in the room
last night without his shirt on. I go, damn, you
look good.

Speaker 1 (01:10:28):
He really you.

Speaker 5 (01:10:29):
Would really want him now, Elvis, you wanted him back
in the day. You remember you you're the one who
introduced me, because he didn't swing that way.

Speaker 2 (01:10:38):
We never really you know, you you heard a story
that's not completely accurate.

Speaker 6 (01:10:43):
Anytimes he says this, he goes, no, I didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:10:45):
No, you make it sound like I was chasing your
husband around, trying to like grab him and take him
or something. Look, that was not the case when.

Speaker 13 (01:10:52):
You were on the boat together. You had interest when
you met him.

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
I simply asked him if he was gay. He said no,
that's the only thing to happen.

Speaker 5 (01:11:01):
You came in the next morning and you go, hey,
I met somebody for you, and I wanted him.

Speaker 13 (01:11:06):
But you know, swing that way. I'm gonna invite me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
You make it sound like I locked him in my
garage and I tried to I tied him. I tied
him up to a chair.

Speaker 13 (01:11:17):
I don't think that happened.

Speaker 2 (01:11:18):
It didn't happen.

Speaker 13 (01:11:20):
It's all good.

Speaker 6 (01:11:21):
There chairs involved. Are you throwing chairs?

Speaker 13 (01:11:24):
Throwing chairs off of a boat?

Speaker 2 (01:11:25):
Robbie, you and Lisa, how do you feel about that?

Speaker 15 (01:11:28):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (01:11:28):
God, this is a ten. At least it's a two.

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
No.

Speaker 16 (01:11:34):
No, for real, No, trust me, I have to work
a little harder to make sure I've been able to
keep her around.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
Well, now, I'll let me address that, because I feel
Alex is physically hotter than me. But you know, look,
I'm a catch.

Speaker 6 (01:11:46):
I think I'm a pretty hot.

Speaker 2 (01:11:48):
Well no, I'm not porn star hot. But what I'm
telling you right now is I feel I make up
hot and this in other ways definitely. You know me,
I'm a chef in the kitchen and a hore in
the bedroom.

Speaker 6 (01:12:00):
Which is all I would ever want in my life.
So I'll be bad you're not on my team.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
I'm a hore in the kitchen and a chef in
the bedroom. That's what's scary. I'm definitely dating up.

Speaker 4 (01:12:10):
But I do have my days where I'm like, you
know what, I look in the mirror, I'm like, you
know what, I'm as good as my girlfriend today.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
Okay, okay, all right, Well.

Speaker 5 (01:12:24):
What do we say when she walks in a room
and we go, damn scary. Why don't you just lock
that down?

Speaker 2 (01:12:29):
Let's go talk to Christy.

Speaker 8 (01:12:30):
Hey, Christy, hy ah, miss, how are you guys?

Speaker 2 (01:12:33):
Well, we're doing well. Let me just state for the record,
you know this is just a fun conversation. I really
don't like getting into the into a world where we're
comparing looks to this. You know what I'm saying. I
just looks schmokes, you know what I'm saying. But anyway,
you're dating a guy and you feel he's way hotter
than you, way hotter.

Speaker 32 (01:12:51):
Let's see, like I was like, damn, he chose me.

Speaker 23 (01:12:54):
No, this is a joke, like he's just playing game.

Speaker 2 (01:12:57):
You know what, I'm going to say something and this
may be opulter with you, Christy, I bet you're fifty
times hotter than you think you are.

Speaker 6 (01:13:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
Maybe see come on, when's the last time you looked
in the mirror went mmm, okay, I would do me,
I would do me good. Yeah, come on, yeah, I
see this. That's my girl. That's what I want to
hear from you.

Speaker 6 (01:13:21):
I want to see pictures and judge for myself.

Speaker 2 (01:13:22):
There's no no judging judge Freezoe. All right, Christy, best
of luck with your hot guy, and when you're done
with him, send him over.

Speaker 20 (01:13:30):
I gotcha, all.

Speaker 2 (01:13:31):
Right, thanks. I had a dirty dream last night. I
just remembered about who it was. It was no, no, no, no,
it was disturbing, disturbing anyway, it was a hot dream.
But you know what, you feel guilty when you have
a hot dream but it's disturbing at the same time, or.

Speaker 6 (01:13:47):
It's about someone that you don't want it to be about,
and then you look at that person differently.

Speaker 1 (01:13:50):
That's the worst.

Speaker 2 (01:13:51):
You know, this was a total stranger. Hello Savannah, I
love your beautiful night, Savannah.

Speaker 21 (01:13:56):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:13:57):
Your significant other, you find you feel is hot than you,
and she's fourteen years older than you, and I know,
but what about you. Let's talk about how you feel
about you.

Speaker 23 (01:14:09):
To me, because I listen to your show every morning,
and I was listening the other day when you were
like reading yourself on one to ten. And honestly, most
days I feel like I'm a five.

Speaker 5 (01:14:18):
Or a six. Today I just feel like kids.

Speaker 23 (01:14:21):
I just I look terrible and everything. But my significant
other is freaking hot. Look, she's amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:14:29):
Keep in mind several things. Number One, when we all
have five or six days, because you know, we wake
up and just we're not in the mood. But it's
really funny how people who say what you just said,
I'm a five or six, everyone else around you is thinking,
you know, she's eight, nine, ten, So you know, give
yourself a lot of credit and congratulations. On being in
a great relationship with someone, and how long have you

(01:14:51):
guys been together.

Speaker 23 (01:14:53):
Oh, we've actually been together about going on a year
and a half.

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
Good for you.

Speaker 11 (01:14:57):
And uh yeah, she's got two kids.

Speaker 23 (01:15:00):
I wasn't used to that at first, or just like a
one lill happy family. So I'm still good for you.

Speaker 2 (01:15:05):
Look, you're thank you so much. I find you totally hot.
And I'm a gay guy.

Speaker 13 (01:15:09):
See other than Nate, most people don't think they're as hot.

Speaker 2 (01:15:12):
Yeah, Nacy, Yeah, we should all be more like Nate.
When you you wake up in a morning and go,
I got ten? All right, Savannah, feel great about yourself. Everyone,
feel good about yourself. Look in the mirror and find
that thing that you love about you that no one
else has going on, Because you will find something. You
gotta dig deep.

Speaker 17 (01:15:28):
Scary, don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran the Elvis Duran
phone tap.

Speaker 2 (01:15:33):
Daniel Yes, Jenn.

Speaker 5 (01:15:35):
Emails to call me Dad about my credit card. Tell
him there's been too much activity on the card and
since he's a code signer, he's responsible and he's gonna
go crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
Dad goes mad. In Today's Danielle phone Tap, who, Yes,
I'm looking.

Speaker 5 (01:15:50):
For Joe noo please Hi, this is Leslie Sloan from
her a time. How are you this afternoon?

Speaker 15 (01:15:56):
Thank you?

Speaker 5 (01:15:57):
I just wanted to check on some things that were
put through on a credit card. Yeah, okay, a total
of six three hundred and fifty four dollars and twenty five.

Speaker 15 (01:16:05):
Cents uh six d.

Speaker 5 (01:16:08):
Unfortunately, because you're the co signer, it says here that
you would be responsible for payment. So I'm calling you
because I cannot get in touch with Jen. Okay, all right,
there was a purchase at Versace this morning at about
nine thirty five am for one thousand, four hundred and
twenty five dollars.

Speaker 15 (01:16:27):
What the hell is VESACEI what do they sell?

Speaker 5 (01:16:29):
Bags and shoes and very high end? It's probably it
looks like it's on a purse from what the description
is leopard Leopard prints.

Speaker 15 (01:16:37):
So Jesus Chrystal mighty, yeah, you're not. You're not helping
me there. You know, I'm sitting here at well trying
to do a million things.

Speaker 31 (01:16:45):
And you're and you acted like a loan shock because
my daughter is irresponsible, sir.

Speaker 5 (01:16:51):
I'm just trying to call you and get to the
bottom of things. Yeah, okay, Unfortunately we're going to need
the minimum payment FedEx to us by tomorrow or we're
going to have to send it over to collections.

Speaker 15 (01:17:02):
Oh really?

Speaker 24 (01:17:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 15 (01:17:03):
Okay, and now you're messing me up right, and this
is going on my credit if I don't, if I
don't stop my busy day and take care of this,
Is that what they're telling me?

Speaker 5 (01:17:12):
Yeah, that's what I'm telling you, because sir, you're the
co signer.

Speaker 15 (01:17:15):
I didn't sign nothing.

Speaker 5 (01:17:16):
You know, you know that that's what happens. You're smart
enough to know that.

Speaker 15 (01:17:20):
Don't don't patronize me, please?

Speaker 5 (01:17:21):
Okay, Well, then don't yell at me, and.

Speaker 15 (01:17:22):
Don't don't patronize me.

Speaker 5 (01:17:24):
Don't use the F word when it's not my irresponsible
daughter going and charging the fourteen hundred dollars at FISACI.

Speaker 15 (01:17:29):
Don't lection me either.

Speaker 5 (01:17:30):
Your card will be taken away.

Speaker 15 (01:17:32):
Oh or geez, let the world end.

Speaker 5 (01:17:35):
Okay, you know what. Sorry, I don't need this. And
if your sorty gets arrested, then that's that's your problem
because of your attitude.

Speaker 15 (01:17:40):
But I don't particularly care what happens to my daughter.
How's that go to jail?

Speaker 1 (01:17:46):
Hold on?

Speaker 5 (01:17:46):
My assistant just got your daughter Jen on the phone.
I'm going to conference her in Jennery there that you know,
one of.

Speaker 15 (01:17:52):
These days you're gonna learn to live within your means. Jennifer, Well, I.

Speaker 2 (01:17:56):
Mean I needed stuff for the apartment.

Speaker 31 (01:17:58):
You just you just charge fourteen hundred dollars this morning.
Oh yeah, I bought a purse for fourteen hundred dollars.

Speaker 15 (01:18:05):
You woant a purse?

Speaker 2 (01:18:07):
Persocky?

Speaker 31 (01:18:08):
Yeah, yeah, I know you don't understand, Like, why would
you want to buy for fourteen hundred dollars purse when
you're already missing minimum payments? Oh? I wanted it, you
wanted it? Okay, Yeah, I want a lot of things
like maybe did it ever curky?

Speaker 15 (01:18:20):
Or that maybe you can't afford it?

Speaker 31 (01:18:22):
Oh?

Speaker 12 (01:18:22):
Whatever, I figured you pay for it eventually.

Speaker 31 (01:18:25):
Well no, no, that's the height of your responsibility. Okay,
I'll be damned if I'm gonna help you pay for
fourteen hundred dollars perse wording you out of your mind.
I'm not You're not getting another cent for me, and
I'm not gonna pay in school or anybody.

Speaker 1 (01:18:38):
How do you like that, Jennifer.

Speaker 5 (01:18:40):
We just got a call from Versace saying that they're
trying to put through another charge for five twenty five
for a matching wallet?

Speaker 13 (01:18:48):
Is that true?

Speaker 24 (01:18:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 31 (01:18:52):
Am I missing something here? Are you totally devoid of
responsibility and decency?

Speaker 5 (01:18:58):
Can you hold on one second?

Speaker 31 (01:18:59):
Sir?

Speaker 5 (01:19:00):
Hold on, I'm gonna put gen Jen. Yeah, your dad's
on hold? Can you please tell me?

Speaker 13 (01:19:04):
Is he I mean, does he bring you up this way?

Speaker 1 (01:19:06):
I mean?

Speaker 5 (01:19:07):
Is her irresponsible parent?

Speaker 35 (01:19:09):
I don't know. I mean we've kind of always been
able to do whatever we want.

Speaker 15 (01:19:12):
By the way, I hear what you're saying.

Speaker 5 (01:19:14):
How can you hear what I'm saying? You're on hold?
The whole button's not working again.

Speaker 15 (01:19:18):
I'm hearing what you're saying. You're telling me I'm an
irresponsible parent. But they'll tell me.

Speaker 5 (01:19:22):
I didn't say that.

Speaker 15 (01:19:23):
What are you talking about? It just hurts you?

Speaker 5 (01:19:25):
I never, Jen, did I say that? I don't think.

Speaker 31 (01:19:27):
So what are you doing to me? Do you understand
how busy I am here? I work and I'm fating
around with it because you're I guess I.

Speaker 5 (01:19:35):
Find your name whatever?

Speaker 15 (01:19:37):
No, will you stop?

Speaker 14 (01:19:39):
What's the worst that happens?

Speaker 21 (01:19:40):
Well, if I get a.

Speaker 31 (01:19:41):
Fine or something, Jennifer, do you realize how much up
my day?

Speaker 15 (01:19:45):
All right?

Speaker 31 (01:19:46):
I am so busy and I'm sitting here on whole
way to it because of what you've done.

Speaker 15 (01:19:51):
What is wrong with you?

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
Nothing's wrong with me.

Speaker 15 (01:19:54):
Why can't you talk so I hear.

Speaker 12 (01:19:56):
You on that work?

Speaker 2 (01:19:57):
I can't be screaming like you are.

Speaker 31 (01:19:59):
Well, I'm a or two all right, You understand how
much busy I am and I'm seeing here doing it
with you.

Speaker 5 (01:20:06):
You can get back to work. Just go to Elvis
Duran dot com and pay your bill already.

Speaker 15 (01:20:11):
Elvis Duran dot com. Is he's still alive?

Speaker 5 (01:20:15):
This is Danielle Minarrow from Elvis Durant in the Morning Show.
And you've just been phone tapped.

Speaker 15 (01:20:20):
He's still alive. I thought he died.

Speaker 13 (01:20:21):
Now that's Elvis Presley.

Speaker 15 (01:20:23):
Oh okay, yeah, well you Elvis has.

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
Sounded like the Elvis Duran's phone tap.

Speaker 25 (01:20:29):
This phone table was pre recorded with permission granted by
all participation.

Speaker 17 (01:20:33):
The Elvis Dan phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show. This he is Elvis Duran in the
Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (01:20:46):
I have to do a video after the show for
our it's an event we do an iHeart here at headquarters.
We're very excited to talk about research exploring differences between
marketers and consumers that they're trying to excellent. I think
we're great at doing that. Yeah, Am I the only
one in the room that thinks that we're great at
doing that?

Speaker 17 (01:21:06):
No?

Speaker 6 (01:21:06):
I think we are pretty good at doing it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
Yeah, pretty good? Yeah exactly. Yeah, they say, here, okay,
maybe people listening can help me out. While most marketers
know what an apparol sprits is, only half of consumers do. Okay,
I agree with that. H Thirty three percent of consumer
consumers have no idea what a charcoterie board is. Again,

(01:21:31):
marketers do. So there's a separation between the people who
are in charge of bringing the message to you. They
think you know about things that you may not know about,
and they're marketing things to you and you have no
idea what they are. Right, this is what they're saying, Yes, Nate,
what what is an apall sprits? Just for people that

(01:21:51):
don't know? It's a cocktail? Maybe with apparol it's you know,
you drink it on the beaches of Italy.

Speaker 13 (01:21:59):
Yeah, it's deliciit.

Speaker 2 (01:22:00):
I think it's and and so aperol is a bitter.
Here's the thing. Marketers know that because they have aload
of money and they can travel to Italy and order
aperol spritss while sitting on yachts. Majority of the people
don't do that, you know. But a lot of a
lot of restaurants now when you go to brunches and
things like that, aperol spritss are the number one cocktail.

(01:22:21):
But a lot of people don't go to brunches. Ye right,
That's why Danielle loves her avocado toast. There's a lot
of people out there who have no idea what a
avocado toast is, oh my gosh, but Danielle single headedly
has brought it to the marketplace.

Speaker 13 (01:22:34):
Danielle, it's so wonderful.

Speaker 2 (01:22:36):
Avocado toast industry owes you a big thing.

Speaker 5 (01:22:39):
Yes, I feel like if you have social media you
would know what a charcuterie board was, because.

Speaker 2 (01:22:43):
You used to call it a sharcucci Last the.

Speaker 13 (01:22:45):
Last I still do.

Speaker 5 (01:22:46):
Last year, it was everywhere like every kind of sharkuterie
like they would make their table a charcuterie board on
the board underneath.

Speaker 2 (01:22:55):
But you're forgetting something and marketing. You only know that
if you follows sites and accounts that are into charcuterie.

Speaker 6 (01:23:03):
Boards, because they really funnel that stuff toward you like,
I bet my boyfriend has no idea about I know
he knows what a charcuterie board is, but I don't
think it pops up on his feed out probably.

Speaker 2 (01:23:16):
Okay, that's what we call So what's what is on
your So what is on your boyfriend's feed? Then? What
does he what does he know about cars?

Speaker 6 (01:23:25):
It would be cars, sneakers, sports, specifically Ohio State football,
and anything that has to do with Chicago weed. I
think that's all what auto populates onto his A lot
of music, that's what he's interested in. But I don't
think he follows any type of like design or cooking
or brunch or anything like that.

Speaker 2 (01:23:42):
Page does he know what an aperol sprits is?

Speaker 6 (01:23:44):
I would say, no, I want I'm gonna tell him
right now.

Speaker 2 (01:23:46):
Okay, here's what I think our show is all about.
We sort of bridge that gap. I do believe. I
do believe we talk about all sorts of things on
our show. I mean we can go thirty minutes and
talk about one hundred different things having to do with
music and things we drink, in places we visit in wildlife,
and you know, we sort of check off all those
boxes because we're sort of a rapid fire show, you know, absolutely,

(01:24:11):
and sometimes we dwell for a long time. But stuff
like we're.

Speaker 6 (01:24:15):
Doing right now, No, but I think that's stuff. It's
important to also know your audience and who you're talking to,
because if you're you know, if we were to all
of a sudden just like jump into the sports arena.
I don't know how many of our listeners are hardcore
sports fans. I think definitely in New York we've got
like people like Danielle who are hardcore sports fans. But
I think the majority don't come to us for that exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:24:37):
For instance, let's say, uh soccer for instance, Okay, let's
use World Cup. It's coming to the New York area
partially here in other places, right, But if someone who,
let's say the World Cup organization wants to buy time
on our show to talk about the World Cup, I
would say to them, well, look, you know what, only
maybe ten percent of our audience is excited about about

(01:25:00):
World Cup. Why don't you spend the money to get
more people excited and bring them in make them more
excited about it. Danielle, you see in your house one
hundred percent people of the people in your house are
in a World Cup, but in the reality here in
the United States soccer football as you call it, it
is not that it's not as huge as you think
it is. You know, well that's it. But you do

(01:25:21):
a great job. You do a great job coming in
here every week and talking about World Cup. When World
Cup is going on, you talk about soccer games, you
talk about the teams. It's people like you that make
it more of a commonplace thought with people who are
not familiar.

Speaker 5 (01:25:34):
So World Cup needs to come in and pay me
to go up there and be the ambassador. Oh my god,
that we're bathing. Wouldn't that be cool?

Speaker 13 (01:25:42):
But yeah, I.

Speaker 6 (01:25:43):
Think I mean, honestly, I think I suffer from this
same thing, Like there are things that I think, Okay,
everybody knows this song because when I was growing up,
everybody that I was around heard the song. The station's
played this song, and then you guys will be like, no,
we've never heard that because it was a completely different
thing here than where I was, Right, I don't recognize
and understand that because it was everywhere where I was.

Speaker 5 (01:26:03):
You know, you have it, And I think they also
make the mistake of thinking that if you're a certain
person or like, say you're a mom, or say you're
a single person.

Speaker 13 (01:26:12):
You're into specific things.

Speaker 5 (01:26:14):
Not every single person, not every mom, not every dad
is into the same things or does the same things
with their kids. And they're like, oh, yeah, you should,
you should definitely advertise this you're a mom. I'm like, well,
that's doesn't mean anything. I mean, like you know what
I mean, Like, just because I had kids doesn't mean
I can't control my pay, Like I don't need you
to come in and ask me to do depends and

(01:26:35):
I'll yeah, but you have kids. That doesn't mean everybody
who has care't ConTroll their pay.

Speaker 2 (01:26:40):
Well, don't you remember They're they're asking Scary to do
commercials for a regtile dysfunction. Yes. No, Well it's like, well,
don't you have a dysfunctional penis nos a lot of friends. Yes,
did you do the ad for a rectile dysfunction?

Speaker 1 (01:26:56):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:26:56):
They gave me sample copy.

Speaker 4 (01:26:57):
I said, I want to see what this is all about,
and they said read this, and I'm like, I'm not
going to say.

Speaker 2 (01:27:01):
It because it was he was speaking about like I
have this problem. I said, no, I don't. I said,
I know about it. But you can still be a
communicator and talk to other men about Hey, yes it's
a man's voice. Talking about a rectile toffunction. Doesn't mean dysfunction,
doesn't mean you haven't. I was willing to do that.
I was willing to.

Speaker 5 (01:27:18):
But I think a lot of times perception is reality,
and if Scary is talking about it, half the people
half listening will think, wow, scary.

Speaker 6 (01:27:27):
Why Yeah, scary?

Speaker 2 (01:27:29):
Simply scary could look a recti dufunction, a dysfunction. A
rectile dysfunction is a real thing. Let's take my friend
Nate for example.

Speaker 6 (01:27:38):
That's what he says, though, remember the vaginal rejuvenation thing.
They want to y'all and I to talk about. Most
of us are like, I think I'm good. Scary is like,
I'll do it all. Talk about my girlfriend.

Speaker 34 (01:27:46):
We're like, what, just that's what you want?

Speaker 2 (01:27:52):
Oh my god? What Nate?

Speaker 3 (01:27:54):
But do you remember when he did the spec spot
for the Boner medication.

Speaker 2 (01:27:58):
He's like, yeah, I was sitting around with my friend.
We were talking about our erections, like, no guy work.
That was the first draft. Yeah, send that back to
the drawing board. They're scary with gay guys. We don't
even talk about erections. I mean, I don't know what
are you doing.

Speaker 4 (01:28:15):
So we're hanging out in the bar, sitting around having
some beers, Like, hey, okay, the whole.

Speaker 2 (01:28:20):
Point of this conversation is this we're having. You know,
we're marketers. You know what we have. We have partners
that want to come to us to get the word out.
All right, Let's say an erectile dysfunction company does approach us. Again,
I would have a million ideas for them. And it
doesn't mean I can't get a boner, doesn't mean it's
just a it's a conversation a lot of guys have.

Speaker 6 (01:28:42):
You know, it's an important conversation. Somebody should talk about it.

Speaker 2 (01:28:46):
Yeah, it is. And my name is Elvis Durant, initials
ed on the obvious one. You're providing an education for people, Okay, exactly.
So this is the point marketers. We are marketers. What
we do for a living is we market things. That's
how that's how we keep the lights on, that's how
we get paid. That's how we can afford apparel, spritzes

(01:29:08):
and avocado toasts.

Speaker 4 (01:29:10):
Can you put the disclaimer and at the end of
the commercial saying that you don't have but this isn't.

Speaker 6 (01:29:14):
Why this is a paid actor.

Speaker 5 (01:29:16):
I always think about that when I see like a
billboard with like someone that says that they have like
an STD. Oh yeah, And I'm well, there must be
an actor because because they're getting paid to do the billboard.
And then I go, but now do all their friends
and family think that they have an STD because their
face is on the billboard saying that, Like, I don't know,
how does it work?

Speaker 2 (01:29:34):
Because, like I said, well look at it this way though,
I mean, STDs are not that uncommon, they're they're so.

Speaker 5 (01:29:42):
If you haven't to do it, if you don't have one,
do you want people to think you do this? I'm
just what I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 (01:29:46):
You know, it's scary. If scary can't get hard whatever
is not my problem. I don't care. Doesn't doesn't make
me like him anymore or less.

Speaker 6 (01:29:53):
You know, someone needs to be the face of super
gon Rhea.

Speaker 2 (01:29:56):
I guess so scary you have all these friends you have, uh,
Brian Darren, Yeah, people like that. You should in these
commercials do a commercial using your friend flaccid Frank.

Speaker 13 (01:30:10):
Don't forget Herpe's Harry.

Speaker 2 (01:30:13):
Yea Herpe's Harry.

Speaker 13 (01:30:18):
Exactly when I was saying that was gone Ria Gary.
The other day he.

Speaker 2 (01:30:22):
Told me our favorite drag queen Chlamydia Burnt siphilist Phil anyway,
so make it relatable, Scary, Okay, that's all you have
to do. He's the dumbest conversation. How about antal leakage.

Speaker 5 (01:30:40):
Aaron, Oh my gosh, I think there's a pill for that.

Speaker 1 (01:30:48):
Scary.

Speaker 2 (01:30:48):
He's gonna do the commercial for it next week, Scary.
Will he'll do a commercial for anyone necessarily?

Speaker 14 (01:30:53):
No.

Speaker 5 (01:30:55):
Yes, it is funny because the sales department does know.
If they come to a lot of us, they'll go,
all right, I'll just go to Scary and they will
say that in the conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:31:05):
True, Scary will go down to the sales floor and
you always know where he is because you can see
his legs coming out from beneath the desk. Try to
drum up some business down there.

Speaker 38 (01:31:21):
Anyway, Yes, another week, here we go into the day.

Speaker 17 (01:31:35):
Cal Visturan in the morning shows in the morning show.

Speaker 2 (01:31:49):
Yeah, when I was a kid, first came to New
York City, never understood while they called it Houston Street
when clearly it was Houston right right, ye, yeah, yeah, absolutely,
that's not allowed it Later it's just he's Houston. We're
gonna say Houston because that's what we say. Okay, great,
So there's this, there's this, I guess a highway right,

(01:32:11):
the Van Wyke Expressway expressway. The family's name was van
Wyck back in the day, so they got us an
expressway named after them. But New Yorkers called it the
van Wick And so when our traffic people do traffic,
they say van Wyck, but it's it's van Wick. According

(01:32:32):
to most people who drive on it. The name has
been ruined for years. Yes, it's long to say van Wick.
It's improper. You're probably destroyed. But who's who cares? At
this point we say it van Wick.

Speaker 4 (01:32:44):
The traffic reporter should say it van Wick because that's
how we know it.

Speaker 6 (01:32:48):
So it's the family's name.

Speaker 2 (01:32:50):
Do you think they're listening and caring about it. I
don't know. Maybe, Okay, okay. What about the tap and
Z Bridge. Yeah, but the town is called Tapan, is
it not? It's Tapan?

Speaker 19 (01:33:04):
Does it makes sense?

Speaker 2 (01:33:05):
But we say Tappen. Yeah, but that's not correct. But
it's now correct because we made it correct because that's
just how we say it.

Speaker 6 (01:33:13):
So it should be the Topanzee Bridge.

Speaker 13 (01:33:16):
Yes, that's why they changed it.

Speaker 2 (01:33:20):
I've never thought of it that way, the Tepanzee Bridge.

Speaker 6 (01:33:25):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (01:33:26):
Well, So okay, So at what point have you changed
the name so much from what it really is, where
it's now a different name, it's pronounced differently. I mean,
at what point do you cross that line?

Speaker 24 (01:33:39):
Yes?

Speaker 16 (01:33:39):
Frog, So under this logic, basically, if you get it
wrong long enough, then wrong becomes right right exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:33:45):
I don't like like like the flower at Christmas, don't
get me started. Point exactly, the individual where you are?
Oh you cross, you cross the border, You're now in
points set a land.

Speaker 5 (01:34:00):
Yeah, well, they spell things differently places like Sheldon in England.
There as certain words where I wele that's not how
you spell it. He's like, that's how we spell it
in England. I'm like, that's how I grew up learning
how to spell it. I'm like, really, that's so weird.
It's the same word but spelled differently.

Speaker 2 (01:34:16):
You know exactly. So what do you do? I mean?

Speaker 24 (01:34:18):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:34:18):
All right, So people are complaining that our traffic person
is saying van Wyck, but they clearly have been calling
it van wick their entire life. So you know what
I'm I'm not saying anyone's right or wrong, but you
know history is saying who's right and wrong. I guess
I don't know. I don't know. Uh, Nate, what do
you think?

Speaker 26 (01:34:36):
Well?

Speaker 3 (01:34:36):
Remember when I moved here and I said I'm gonna
be living in Greenwich Village.

Speaker 2 (01:34:42):
We looked at him, like, you're Greenwich. It's spelled green Witch.

Speaker 6 (01:34:47):
Do they say Greenwich anywhere?

Speaker 2 (01:34:50):
I don't know, but that's how I said it when I.

Speaker 13 (01:34:52):
Moved here, Greenwich village exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:34:54):
The little boy friend Eerie didn't know how to say Greenwich, yeah, village. Hey,
it just doesn't make sense to me.

Speaker 3 (01:34:58):
Like you go to England, like you were saying, and
like Worcestershire and all these Worcester it's not spelled like
that at all.

Speaker 6 (01:35:06):
Right, in Boston, it's Worcester, spelled Worcester. Yeah, it Worcester.

Speaker 2 (01:35:12):
Yeah, it's it's Worcester. Yes, but it didn't look like Worcester.
It looks like Worcester, it does, all right, Well that's said,
Well that said, I look, you know, we don't run
our traffic department. It's down the hall somewhere. We don't
even know isn't in the building. I don't even know.
Maybe not. I don't know where the traffic people are,
but they've been told to say van Wyck. But they

(01:35:34):
probably agree with you. They should be saying van Wick
So I don't know. We'll leave it at that. Like
like Shinnecock and a long island, it's more fun to
say shiny cock, to be honest.

Speaker 7 (01:35:48):
Spelled.

Speaker 2 (01:35:49):
Yeah, well it's it's sort of. But but we're talking
about a very, very old and famous Native American tribe,
right so we should we should call them what they
want to be called. No, no, you go, I will tell
you this. We were talking during one of the songs
about our first apartments, and I remember my first apartment.
It was a one bedroom, one bath, but you had

(01:36:10):
to go through the bedroom to get to the bathroom.
So if ever I had a guest over, they had
to walk through my bedroom. So I try to keep
it clean. A friend of mine had in New York.
They call it a cold water flat where the bathtub
is in the kitchen. That was very That was a
very popular layout for a small apartment in New York
City way way back in the day. Right then, A

(01:36:30):
few of you, a few of yous guys, as they say,
you had some funny first apartments, right.

Speaker 3 (01:36:37):
Oh yeah, yeah, my first apartment here in the city,
six floor walk up. And I go in Greenwich, in
Greenwich Village, and I go into the bathroom and I'm like,
something's not right here, and I sit on the toilet
and I was like, you remember that bit Chris Farley,
fat guy in a little coat. It was like that,
but me sitting on the toilet, the toilet was tiny.
Turns out it's a child's toilet. I didn't even know

(01:36:58):
they made these things illegal because the way the apartment was,
the door couldn't open unless it was a child's toilet.

Speaker 2 (01:37:10):
I mean, you had to aim really good with even
when you're sitting. Even when you're sitting, you have to
like make sure your your bull's eye a quarter of
a huge difference on that. Wow it Scott e. B
What about you when you moved to Iowa, didn't you
have a weird apartment?

Speaker 1 (01:37:26):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:37:26):
That apartment was okay.

Speaker 28 (01:37:27):
But when I moved to Sea Caucus, there was a
window on my bathroom door, a glass window. It was
clear glass into the bathroom and there was a hole
in the floor and there was an egg in the
hole and I couldn't reach it. So there was an
egg in the hole for the entire time that I
lived there.

Speaker 5 (01:37:42):
What was Yeah, it was a trap.

Speaker 28 (01:37:44):
Yeah, there was a hole in the floor in the
bathroom with an egg in it.

Speaker 2 (01:37:47):
Don't it was the strangest thing. How did the egg
get there? It was there when I moved in. I
don't know, but how did it get there? I'm not sure?
How does an egg appear?

Speaker 7 (01:37:57):
What came first? Your apartment of the egg, which.

Speaker 5 (01:38:03):
I just had like weird landlords, like the one set.
It was a brother and sister and I'm you did.

Speaker 13 (01:38:09):
I'm pretty sure they were sleeping together.

Speaker 5 (01:38:11):
Oh, because we we went downstairs and there was only
one bed and I was like, oh, this is really weird.
And then she would like I was dating Sheldon at
the time, and she made up that she had a
British boyfriend and he was coming overseas the sister. And then,
like I would, I dropped the dustbuster on the floor.
She came upstairs screaming, accusing me of knocking nails into

(01:38:32):
the wall and hanging things, and she told me I
had to ask permission to have anyone sleep over in
my apartment that I rented, and then her brother came
and said, you have to leave, and I go, why.
My sister is jealous that I give you guys too
much attention, so we had to move out. Yeah, it
was a little strange, just a little.

Speaker 2 (01:38:51):
A little strange, strange. Yeah, my sister's jealous. I'm sleeping
with her exactly. Yeah, she doesn't want me thinking of
anyone else but her, my sister, Scary. You know a funny,
funny apartment story is when Scary and Greg t were roommates.
All he did was play tricks on me. That was hilarious.

(01:39:13):
I mean, I don't know how why Scary did not
murder him in the night.

Speaker 4 (01:39:17):
He replaced the cream in the Oreo cookies with toothpaste.
He crazy glued my stress shoes to the floor, and
my favorite of all time, he replaced he was unscrewed
my shower head and put bullyon cubes in there, screwed
it back and then I and I have a tendency
to go into the shower before testing the water.

Speaker 2 (01:39:35):
I turn on the water and for a chicken soup
shower did he get all his boon? And that was
just a tip of the Iceberg's genius. It's genius. That's
its happening to you every day. Scary it walking. You
would not believe what he did. No, and I'm tell
us we're dying to hear. The toothpaste and the Oreo
cookies is one. Yeah, and the bucket of water over

(01:39:59):
the over the forget it. The reason we brought this
up is there's actually a friend of a friend who
has a new apartment in Hell's Kitchen in Manhattan, paying
fourteen hundred a month. But the shower is in the kitchen.

Speaker 6 (01:40:12):
Absolutely not Yeah, absolutely, that's insane.

Speaker 2 (01:40:15):
There's a little closet with a toilet that's separate, but
if you want to take a shower, it's in the kitchen.
But it's fourteen hundred dollars for an apartment in New York.

Speaker 6 (01:40:23):
I mean that is a steal it as long as
you're okay showering and cooking exactly well. At the same time,
my first apartment burned down.

Speaker 2 (01:40:33):
Oh yeah, Oh you tell that story. It's kind of
a sad story.

Speaker 14 (01:40:36):
It is.

Speaker 6 (01:40:37):
Yeah, the first apartment I ever had. Woke up one
night it smelled like barbecue. My dad was actually.

Speaker 5 (01:40:43):
Visiting me at the time.

Speaker 13 (01:40:44):
And I was like, oh, what is that?

Speaker 6 (01:40:45):
And then the fire department was knocking on the door, screaming,
get out, everybody, get out. My alarm didn't even go off.
Turns out my neighbor killed my other neighbor in an
attempt to and then an attempt to cover it up
burnt the place down.

Speaker 5 (01:40:56):
Oh my good.

Speaker 1 (01:40:57):
Yeah, it was crazy.

Speaker 5 (01:41:00):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:41:02):
Seems a little odd.

Speaker 6 (01:41:04):
My dad and I were sitting in my car just
watching the building burn and you could see, you know,
the top floor kind of caved in. And he looked
at me and he said, I just need you to
know the rest of your life is not going to
be like this. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (01:41:17):
Nate, do you have someone on the phone or something? Okay,
how amost sound like a bird there for a second?

Speaker 39 (01:41:25):
I know you do.

Speaker 2 (01:41:26):
You do make wildlife noises when you start to say something.
Ab All right, there's Nate answering your question.

Speaker 17 (01:41:41):
Elvis Duran here he is and the Morning Show. This
is Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (01:41:50):
We got a problem. Her line twenty Mary Jane wishes
to wish diarrhea. She wishes to wish diarrhea. So what happened?
Mary Jane.

Speaker 24 (01:42:00):
Yes, can you hear me?

Speaker 2 (01:42:02):
Absolutely, you sound loud and clear. Tell everyone.

Speaker 24 (01:42:06):
Driving.

Speaker 40 (01:42:06):
It was about five forty one in the morning in
New Jersey going to my UH spin class.

Speaker 24 (01:42:12):
It was stark.

Speaker 40 (01:42:12):
I didn't see anybody behind me. All of a sudden
I got I get clipped on the west side. I
spin around all over incoming traffic. But it really wasn't
anybody on the road.

Speaker 24 (01:42:25):
I hit a drive and.

Speaker 40 (01:42:26):
Repair shop, King Konging. The guy sped away because this
is what the witness says, and he just fd my car.

Speaker 24 (01:42:35):
He messed my car up real bad.

Speaker 40 (01:42:37):
I had to please and everything, and it caused a
big inconvenience.

Speaker 24 (01:42:42):
I'm in a rent a car going to work late
as usual.

Speaker 2 (01:42:45):
But this is a hit and run as clear as
it can be. This hit and run happened to you.
Didn't stop, so irs I hate hit and run people.

Speaker 24 (01:42:54):
Oh yeah, and they hear me.

Speaker 2 (01:42:56):
Yeah yeah, So you want to watch diarrhea on the
hit and run?

Speaker 24 (01:43:01):
Oh my god? Can you hear me?

Speaker 2 (01:43:03):
Yes, we can hear. We're here. We are listening to you.

Speaker 24 (01:43:15):
Oh you are listening to me.

Speaker 14 (01:43:16):
I couldn't hear.

Speaker 2 (01:43:19):
Sorry, it's okay, we heard.

Speaker 24 (01:43:22):
I I'm so sorry, I love your show, excited to
be on it. It's crazy. I just I have to
waste the insurance company to call me up. It's a
whole big mess. I felt like I was in one
of those right this sorcer.

Speaker 40 (01:43:37):
Cups at Disney or something, you know, ping ponging, call
over the other cause I didn't tell the auto body shop.

Speaker 24 (01:43:44):
I hit the other cause, I mean they were closed,
so I hope they don't have me on camera.

Speaker 15 (01:43:50):
And then.

Speaker 24 (01:43:52):
Utility, that was the thing somebody did. They were coming
out of work.

Speaker 2 (01:43:59):
So can you hear me? Hello? Can you hear us?

Speaker 24 (01:44:02):
It was just it was horrifying.

Speaker 15 (01:44:05):
I know, I hear you. Can you hear us?

Speaker 24 (01:44:07):
Can you hear us? You just don't have any control
on that man? Whoever it was?

Speaker 2 (01:44:11):
Man? Can you slow? Hello? Can you hear me?

Speaker 24 (01:44:16):
Thirty three? Because it was pouring out?

Speaker 2 (01:44:19):
I can't imagine. Can you can you hear us? Hello?

Speaker 24 (01:44:22):
It was terrible?

Speaker 2 (01:44:26):
Can you Mary? J Can you hear me? Mary?

Speaker 24 (01:44:29):
I can't hear you.

Speaker 32 (01:44:31):
Yeah, hi, sweetie, I can't hear you. I don't understand.

Speaker 24 (01:44:36):
I just I'm just yapping here.

Speaker 2 (01:44:39):
I don't know. I love your story. Okay, wait, you
want to wish Hello, you want to wish diarrhea on
the hit and run guy?

Speaker 24 (01:44:49):
Yes, I want to.

Speaker 40 (01:44:50):
Yeah, I'm not showing it was a guy because what
the witness said it was this.

Speaker 24 (01:44:54):
Big blue pickup truck.

Speaker 12 (01:44:55):
I can't stand.

Speaker 24 (01:44:56):
I mean, I'm driving slow because of that horrific that's
I mean, New York was harrestic.

Speaker 10 (01:45:02):
I sore all the water.

Speaker 2 (01:45:03):
But yeah, okay, I'm trying. I'm trying to fill out
the report here. Can you repeat everything? I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Speaker 14 (01:45:15):
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (01:45:17):
By the way, I love how you You hit and
run cars as well, and you're admitting it on the radio.
You don't want anybody I know.

Speaker 24 (01:45:25):
I hope, Oh shoot, I hope they don't know. What's me?

Speaker 40 (01:45:31):
No, what's crazy is I passed the pot that I
hit the other day?

Speaker 24 (01:45:37):
Went the car cause gone.

Speaker 2 (01:45:40):
I'll tell you what.

Speaker 5 (01:45:44):
I hold the cameras.

Speaker 2 (01:45:46):
Yeah, okay, I know, Mary Jane, I that's awful that
happened to you, and we're so sorry. I'm hitting the run.
That's just what a what a travesty. Let's wish diarrhea
on them?

Speaker 39 (01:45:57):
Yeah, wish diarrhea upon you there, Juicy Bubba, you're so welcome,
even though you casually admitted to a felony on the.

Speaker 6 (01:46:13):
Radio station diarrha and someone and she did the same thing.

Speaker 2 (01:46:20):
This is awesome. This is my favorite moment of the day. Hey, listen,
thank you Mary Jane. You have have a safe day
out there. It's crazy. It's crazy. I tell you, I know,
I know, thank you. I love you more. She's awesome, awesome.
I'm not quite sure what happened. Fabulous. Sometimes you just

(01:46:40):
gotta wish diarrhea on people I don't know.

Speaker 17 (01:46:43):
Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap.

Speaker 2 (01:46:47):
Here we go with the phone tap. My brother and
I install roots and skylights for a living. Back at
the company. In the office, we have a receptionist named
Marylyn who handles all of our customers. We would love
to phone tap our receptionist, Maryland. Why don't you have
someone call up complain about a job we did and
get her all riled up. She's very very easy to

(01:47:09):
rile up. This comes to us from Fred and Anthony.
All right, Fred and Anthony deciding to phone tap a coworker.
Here's how it's gonna work. Scarry Jones is calling the
receptionist Maryland as a disgruntled customer as Fred listens in
on the background, and then Anthony gets in on the action,
and then it's all scary and Fred and Anthony all over,

(01:47:30):
poor Marylyn. Let's listen into today's phone tap. Hello. Yeah,
you guys did roofing for me about two years ago.
What's your name Sean?

Speaker 1 (01:47:40):
Sean?

Speaker 2 (01:47:40):
And your last name Carter? Who's this?

Speaker 5 (01:47:43):
This is this office manager?

Speaker 15 (01:47:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:47:45):
Great, listen. You guys put a skylight up for me
and it started leaking last week.

Speaker 38 (01:47:50):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (01:47:51):
I had my brother up there and he was standing
on the skylight trying to fix it. Yeah, and he
fell through.

Speaker 4 (01:47:58):
Oh wow, so obviously those things that you guys are
installing aren't too sturdy.

Speaker 1 (01:48:02):
Well, I never heard of anyone standing on a skylight.

Speaker 2 (01:48:05):
Well, he had to fix it because of your mistake.
Under Whose name was it, Sean Carter? That's me?

Speaker 5 (01:48:11):
Do you have a receipt?

Speaker 2 (01:48:13):
Sure as hell?

Speaker 14 (01:48:14):
Do you?

Speaker 6 (01:48:14):
Sure as hell do?

Speaker 2 (01:48:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:48:16):
Well, I don't like your attitude.

Speaker 33 (01:48:18):
Okay, I don't appreciate that, and I don't expect that
from customer.

Speaker 4 (01:48:22):
I'm trying to rectify the situation, and I don't know
I mean, are you're just giving me some kind of grief.

Speaker 33 (01:48:28):
No, you're giving me grief with your attitude.

Speaker 1 (01:48:30):
Okay, I looked at my file.

Speaker 33 (01:48:32):
I can't find anything on your name.

Speaker 2 (01:48:34):
Is it possible that you keep sloppy notes?

Speaker 13 (01:48:37):
There's your attitude again.

Speaker 33 (01:48:39):
Bend us the copy of the paid receipts.

Speaker 2 (01:48:41):
I have to go searching through files and files. I
mean this is like two years ago.

Speaker 33 (01:48:46):
Now, let's keep sloppy record keeping then if you can't
find it.

Speaker 2 (01:48:50):
No, my skylight is in a thousand pieces.

Speaker 24 (01:48:53):
I heard you.

Speaker 33 (01:48:55):
I took the information. I'm giving it to Anthony.

Speaker 2 (01:48:58):
Is he going to do a good job for me?

Speaker 5 (01:49:00):
Have no idea?

Speaker 2 (01:49:01):
I just want to know anything to me. I'm not
finished talking to you.

Speaker 33 (01:49:04):
Just finished talking to you.

Speaker 24 (01:49:05):
Do not call here again. I have the he'll call you.

Speaker 2 (01:49:08):
What is your what is what is your role? What
do you do for this company?

Speaker 24 (01:49:13):
I have nothing to say to you.

Speaker 2 (01:49:14):
How must they pay you to sit there all day
and yell at your customers?

Speaker 1 (01:49:18):
You nasty son of a bitch.

Speaker 24 (01:49:20):
Don't call here any.

Speaker 2 (01:49:22):
Yeah, why do you have to be a crabby abbey
on the phone with me?

Speaker 24 (01:49:29):
You started?

Speaker 2 (01:49:30):
I did not start.

Speaker 33 (01:49:31):
I don't get paid here to take abuse from anyone.

Speaker 2 (01:49:35):
I stayed in front.

Speaker 24 (01:49:36):
It on to the person, hold on'll deal with you.
I don't have anything.

Speaker 2 (01:49:40):
Further to do with you. I demand you get Anthony
on the phone right here.

Speaker 24 (01:49:44):
You want to tell me to get him on the
phone right now?

Speaker 4 (01:49:50):
Hello, some guys Sean just called me on my cell phone.

Speaker 15 (01:49:55):
Hell, you got my number?

Speaker 5 (01:49:55):
When are you coming back?

Speaker 24 (01:49:57):
I'm my way back.

Speaker 33 (01:49:58):
Will you come back here and I'll tell you all
about it. Anthony the man is a lunatic. Okay, he
started to get nasty with me. I got nasty right
back with him. Freddie has been here through the whole episode.
Freddie told me to call me yuppy bats that I
hung up on him.

Speaker 5 (01:50:14):
Stop in one day. Stop let him.

Speaker 33 (01:50:17):
Stop in here because he's a nasty and he's a
son of a bitch, demanding piece of And I'll tell
you he's gonna be in a lot of trouble because
he had no right to speak to me the way
he did.

Speaker 1 (01:50:29):
And Freddie is my witness.

Speaker 5 (01:50:31):
Whatever happened with the guy that fill the scarlet is okay, I.

Speaker 24 (01:50:35):
Don't know, and I don't give it.

Speaker 2 (01:50:36):
That's great there, Marilyn, thank you for making all that up.

Speaker 6 (01:50:40):
You're a sick pervert.

Speaker 2 (01:50:41):
You know that Marilyn is one of the things that
you need to know. Really, phone tapped.

Speaker 5 (01:50:46):
Oh my god, are you serious?

Speaker 2 (01:50:50):
I'm scary Jones from Elvis to a hand in the
Morning Show.

Speaker 33 (01:50:52):
You are unbelievable. Let me tell you something. Fred is
taking his last breath right now.

Speaker 1 (01:51:00):
Elvis Terran phone tap.

Speaker 25 (01:51:02):
This phone table was pre recorded with permission granted by
all participates.

Speaker 17 (01:51:06):
The Elvis Terran phone tap only on Elvis Daran in
the Morning Show.

Speaker 1 (01:51:19):
Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (01:51:21):
So you know, every once in a while we tell
you our own Scotty Bee here is he's from another planet, right, Yes,
we know that he says things does things that I
don't know. Normal people don't do what you're You're just
kind of weird I am sometimes. So here's the latest one.
We have a busted coffee machine hereffe Yeah, we have

(01:51:42):
we have a good one. We have the Delongi which
is fantastic, and we have the other one that it's
you know, the one supplied by iHeart. It's that you know,
every station has one. And you put the envelope in
and push the button and then the envelope produces coffee,
but Scotty Bee refuses to use it because he's convinced
that in the middle of the night men walk in
and put their wieners in it. I think people.

Speaker 28 (01:52:02):
I think people around here do stuff to the machinery
and I don't want to drink coffee out of it.

Speaker 13 (01:52:06):
Where are they putting the wiener in.

Speaker 28 (01:52:08):
A coffee hole? In the coffee holes? I don't know
coffee that Yeah, I don't know. I just think that
people do it.

Speaker 6 (01:52:16):
This says a lot about Scotty, to be honest, because
he would because yeah, yeah, I think if he's suspecting
that other people do this, at some point, Scotty has
stuck his wiener into a coffee machine.

Speaker 7 (01:52:25):
No, it's exactly right.

Speaker 16 (01:52:27):
If you think that people are doing it, it means
you've done it or you've thought about doing it.

Speaker 4 (01:52:31):
It makes me think you've reached havoc on the radio
station on those long, lonely overnights you used to work here.

Speaker 28 (01:52:37):
No, I would never do damage to something to hurt somebody.
I just I feel like there are people that are
up to no good.

Speaker 2 (01:52:42):
And I am in the studio today, so I'm sitting
right across the glass from Scotty. Look in the eye
and tell me you've never put your wiener in a
coffee machine. I've never put my wiener in a coffee machine.
Other things, yes, but not a coffee.

Speaker 5 (01:52:51):
Other than a human Where else have you put your wiener?

Speaker 2 (01:52:55):
Not in this office? Oh my god, listen to the
changing the subject. I have a feeling this is a
slippery slope to hell. Senior executive producer, Why do you
let this? This is kind of.

Speaker 3 (01:53:08):
Conversation happened. I have no control over Scotty's idiosyncrasies.

Speaker 2 (01:53:15):
He's crazy, like what happened to he was a child, Scotty?
That makes you act like this?

Speaker 34 (01:53:19):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:53:20):
Someone hurt? He was just bored.

Speaker 13 (01:53:21):
I guess okay, yeah, all right, Well I still have
to know where.

Speaker 2 (01:53:26):
Find out during the song? Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:53:28):
Straight, Well, I have heard when you go to a
hotel room and Scotty you might know about this. You're
supposed to use the coffee machine there because if there's
sex parties or orgies, they heat up their lube.

Speaker 2 (01:53:37):
In the coffee machine. What, yes, I've heard that. Oh,
speaking of sex parties, did you hear what happened up
in Queens?

Speaker 1 (01:53:44):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:53:44):
Yeah, the New York sheriffs broke up an underground swingers
sex club in Queens. It's a private, upscale premise swingers club.
They call it Caligula. And so when the sheriff deputies arrived,
they found three couples having sex in a small room,
while others were gathered across the venue unlawfully drinking alcohol

(01:54:06):
and socializing and dancing to a DJ. The one woman,
Jennifer Hayes forty seven. I like how the paper does that.
They tell you the name of the purp and then
how old she is. Jennifer Hay's forty seven, was the
only attendee who was fined and given a summons for
his orderly conduct. I wonder what she did.

Speaker 4 (01:54:24):
Well, she mouthed off to the authorities, But they found
a big box of condoms.

Speaker 2 (01:54:29):
You know, once again, I have been raised in the
most sheltered of lives. I've never been to a sex club.
I actually wouldn't know.

Speaker 5 (01:54:40):
Yesterday we all went to one.

Speaker 2 (01:54:42):
Yeah, but that's more of a fetish club, you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:54:44):
That was insane with the stuff that was going on
around us, I'm like, what the hell was going on here?

Speaker 15 (01:54:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:54:51):
And there was finger food and be boy eating.

Speaker 2 (01:54:53):
Yeah Scotti, b you wouldn't last minute there no eager food.

Speaker 13 (01:55:03):
You go over there and finger Larry and then you
go eat the finger foot.

Speaker 2 (01:55:08):
Yeah again, Nate, how do you let this happen on
this show? You should bring her in and have a
conversation with her.

Speaker 7 (01:55:17):
Yeah, you.

Speaker 2 (01:55:20):
Need to put Daniel on report for.

Speaker 7 (01:55:21):
Talking like that.

Speaker 3 (01:55:24):
Guys at question since we're talking about it, like who
starts these sex clubs?

Speaker 2 (01:55:28):
And how do you get other people? How do you
invite them? I don't know. Scary says he gets an
invite from someone.

Speaker 4 (01:55:34):
Get these emails every week for the last ten years
to say, yeah, hey, you should come to this sex party.
And I don't know if it's real or not. Something
tells me it's some crazy link that's gonna take me
to some bitcoin site where I'm gonna all of a
sudden lose my.

Speaker 13 (01:55:46):
Credical I would be careful.

Speaker 7 (01:55:48):
I don't know, but no, I.

Speaker 2 (01:55:49):
Think these are legit parties that go on, and they're
going on. We live in a world where this is happening,
but they're not inviting my fantast sex party email.

Speaker 6 (01:55:59):
It's gonna get your kidney stolen somewhere great.

Speaker 13 (01:56:02):
Remember when we went to the sex club.

Speaker 5 (01:56:04):
There were rules like you couldn't wear open toed shoes
because people walk around.

Speaker 13 (01:56:08):
Yeah, people like people's feet.

Speaker 2 (01:56:09):
Yeah, people look your.

Speaker 13 (01:56:10):
Feet that, yeah, telling them it's okay.

Speaker 2 (01:56:16):
What was the name of that club? It was called
the Fault, right, isn't that? The place had the chain
link fence and you'd climb up one side, then you
could climb up the other side and face the person
and then.

Speaker 13 (01:56:28):
Remember the Remember the.

Speaker 5 (01:56:29):
Guy that had his hands behind his back and then
his feet were whatever, and then he had that thing
in his mouth and she was like with the whips Like, I.

Speaker 2 (01:56:38):
Don't know if I could find it, I don't think
I would enjoy that. I don't know who am I
missing something?

Speaker 38 (01:56:48):
It was?

Speaker 26 (01:56:50):
Of course?

Speaker 5 (01:56:52):
Is it still there? I don't think so.

Speaker 26 (01:56:53):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:56:53):
No, The meat packing district in New York City used
to be very seedy, very very You wouldn't go there
at night except to go to uh know, the Vault
or that that French restaurant everyone would go to.

Speaker 28 (01:57:06):
Yeah, that was that was the other club. Is that
the place where you made me go on the floor
and eat out of a dog ball?

Speaker 2 (01:57:12):
Yeah? And I had to say these I had to
say these words, lick my boot, you worm.

Speaker 13 (01:57:17):
Yeah, she made me lick chocolate out of a stiletto.
And that's in that place.

Speaker 28 (01:57:25):
And that was on the news. To remember, the news
was there that day doing a piece, and I was
on the news that night. It was fantastic on your
hand eating dinner out of a metal bowl.

Speaker 12 (01:57:35):
I was.

Speaker 2 (01:57:36):
I know, I just don't you know what, Maybe I'm
a simple guy. None of this turns me on.

Speaker 19 (01:57:41):
I'm not feeling I have to think about it.

Speaker 2 (01:57:43):
I'm not filling a roused by any of this conversation.
How about you, Nate getting turned on? You know, I
think it'd be.

Speaker 3 (01:57:48):
Interesting to go to with sex club. I'm actually a
little bit jealous that you guys went to one. I mean,
even though it wasn't true sex club. I just want
to be invited, you know what I mean? You know
it this goes back to like when we first met Nate.
He always says, you know what I want to do.
I want to get into a bar fight, Like why, well,
because I want to know if I can handle myself.
You see it on TV all the time, guys get

(01:58:10):
into fights and you know, coming away with a black eye,
and and then they're like, yeah, I want to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:58:15):
Why would you when it's so negative? It's a negative
and you'll wind.

Speaker 5 (01:58:18):
A stroke again.

Speaker 3 (01:58:20):
To break a beer bottle over your head, that would
be awesome, awesome. I don't want to break it over
their head. I want to bust it on the bar
and say, hey, come and get me.

Speaker 15 (01:58:30):
You know.

Speaker 6 (01:58:32):
A weapon?

Speaker 7 (01:58:32):
Yeah, you know what you know.

Speaker 2 (01:58:35):
I just want to know if I can handle myself.
I'm sure there's other people like me. And didn't you
also say that you wanted to ride a horse because
it looks so easy.

Speaker 7 (01:58:45):
It's not.

Speaker 2 (01:58:46):
I'm telling you right now. You go, have you ridden
a horse? I did?

Speaker 7 (01:58:52):
Well?

Speaker 3 (01:58:52):
No, I would so on a horse drawn carriage. And
then my eyes swelled shut because I'm allergic horse.

Speaker 2 (01:58:57):
Okay, you're allergic to horses.

Speaker 5 (01:59:00):
To get on and his eye is gonna smell shut
and he's not gonna I'll.

Speaker 2 (01:59:03):
Take a be And you might think, you really think, seriously,
you think the only thing you need to know to
ride a horse is and they go, whoa boy?

Speaker 38 (01:59:11):
Just like that?

Speaker 31 (01:59:12):
It doesn't.

Speaker 2 (01:59:13):
It doesn't work that way. I know there's two type.

Speaker 3 (01:59:16):
Yeah, I could, I bet you I'd be good because
I would ride Western because that's where you use one
hand right, and then if you write English, use I
ride side.

Speaker 2 (01:59:24):
Saddle, yeahs bare back is that's not a horse.

Speaker 4 (01:59:31):
I'm just picturing Nate in the old Wild West where
he the swings open the two tavern doors and then
the call.

Speaker 2 (01:59:37):
A saloon the saloon and the record rips off the thing.
They don't body stares at him. They didn't have records.
They had a guy playing a player piano, right, and everybody.

Speaker 4 (01:59:46):
Stares at him and they go, you're not wanting around
these parts. And then Nate just gets into this crazy
brawl in the bar.

Speaker 2 (01:59:52):
I would love that. Oh, I would love that. I
absolutely love crazy. Okay, where were we? Okay? We started
out talking about how Scotty b Yeah, he will he
by the way, if he comes to your house, he
will not drink a cup of coffee. No, why would
you drink?

Speaker 28 (02:00:08):
Maybe if it's in a disposable cup, I will. I
don't want to use your mugs, your your lips have
been on there.

Speaker 7 (02:00:14):
What do you do when you go out to eat
and you use silverware that's been in other people's mouth?

Speaker 2 (02:00:18):
I feel like they sterilize it. In those things and
they wipe it with a rag. I don't know.

Speaker 6 (02:00:23):
I've worked at a restaurant. It's not as clean as
you think.

Speaker 2 (02:00:26):
Okay, what I don't know. I guess doesn't hurt me.
But in someone's house there's lipstick on the can't.

Speaker 13 (02:00:31):
But our houses are safer than you go into a
public place.

Speaker 5 (02:00:34):
Like a restaurant.

Speaker 2 (02:00:35):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (02:00:35):
Way less mouths have touched that cup.

Speaker 2 (02:00:37):
All right, so he's strange. Well, I'm sorry. I'ming fights
in my head about this.

Speaker 7 (02:00:42):
I can't.

Speaker 37 (02:00:42):
I feel like I'm the only normal one on the show.
Oh oh yeah, I think I'm the only normal person.
Someone just texted and you guys are hilarious today. I
totally forgot that I wasn't listening to the podcast. This
is a great Monday morning.

Speaker 5 (02:00:58):
Maybe we can just.

Speaker 13 (02:00:59):
Use this segment four the podcast today.

Speaker 2 (02:01:01):
I like that idea, I will tell you. While the
song was playing a second ago, I looked at everyone
in the zoom room and I said, let's be honest,
we're just phoning this in that we're not even we're
not even putting any effort into this show today.

Speaker 15 (02:01:11):
None.

Speaker 2 (02:01:12):
No, I think this last break has been very interesting.
It's no effort. I mean there was this. You know,
we're not inventing something. We're not curing any diseases here,
We're just talking about nuts. Someone just said, I don't know,
Danielle was such a freak. What She's a total freak.
All right.

Speaker 17 (02:01:33):
I want to hear all the crazy stuff that Gandhi
can't talk about on the Big Show.

Speaker 6 (02:01:37):
I recently discovered I've never been sicker.

Speaker 1 (02:01:41):
Sauce on the side. New episodes every Wednesday.

Speaker 17 (02:01:45):
Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your podcasts.

Speaker 2 (02:01:50):
I have a restraining order against them.

Speaker 1 (02:01:51):
Oh, Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (02:01:56):
All right, we're done, We're out of time. We'll see
you next time, so make sure you're here with us
till then. Say peace out, everybody, Peace out of my body.