I Had Sex with the Ugly Neighbor

Grace’s dad tries to jokingly set her up with the new kid on the block, so she pretends they’ve been hooking up already!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Elvis Durand.

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Elvis Durand's phone tap, unusual phone tap? What's it all
about today? Gil, I have a treat for you today.
All right. So Joseph wants to play a phone tap
on his daughter Grace, about this kid on their block
that he knows his daughter's really not into. So he's like,
let's tease my daughter about me trying to hook her
up with the hit on the block. Oh, that's sad, sad.
But we thought, okay, that's okay. But I think I

(00:23):
have a better idea. So I called up Grace, the daughter,
and said, hey, listen, your dad wants to play a
phone tap on you. So let's turn the tables on him. Wow,
and phone tap dad instead. Wow. So we're about to
reverse a phone tap and phone tap dad. Well, I
like you that you're doing this, so let's reverse the
phone tap on him. Yes, all right, let's see what
happens in today's phone tap.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Listen, Hello, Hey, how you doing? Hi Dad? Let's go on.
I just want to say hello, see how you're doing? Okay,
momd to school. I'll probably be home in like twenty minutes.
You know that, you know that ugly kid in the
neighborhood that you don't like? Really, guy, Yeah, I don't. Yes,

(01:03):
what about that guy?

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:05):
What what do you think about? You ever talk to
him in school? Do you ever? Do you know him?

Speaker 1 (01:08):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Why would I know? Dad? I don't and don't have
any No, I don't talk to him. Oh, he's kind
of growing on me. I kind of like the guy. Now.
I think, actually, you know what, I want to sit
you guys up on a date, and I think you should.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Talking with him? That is God? Do not, Dad, I'm
telling you seriously, I don't want you meddling.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
In my life.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
You know, I just think I just passed him on.
He said, I'm gonna do you know what, I'm gonna
pick him up. I'm gonna pick him up. I'm gonna
put him in the car and then you can talk
to him. Because can you listen to me for a minute?
Can you please not go and do that? You get
to know each other, So can you listen to the door.
I don't do not get him in the car. I'm serious, Dad, Dad,
do not.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Let him in the car.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Okay, I said to him, come here, are you talking
to me? Dad? I'm gonna here he is, he's not good.
I have sex with him. What I was just I was,
I think I need to stop this A yeah, no problem.
I just need to stop this.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
I don't understand when it hurts Tod. I'm just trying
to add what's no, No, no, I just I had some
little thing going on with this other this this for
this friend of mine and it's not working out like
I thought it was gonna be, and we need to talk.
So Garrett, I can't do this right now.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
So yeah, yeah, no, no, no, please go take care
of what you need to all right, I'll talk to
you soon.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Great, I'm gonna call you back right now. Okay.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
I can't help believe your for that.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Okay, he's telling you back.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Perfect, You're gonna do all the talking or you're just
gonna sit back and listen.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Okay, I've been calling you for five minutes. Why didn't
you pick up the phone like I told you? I
really think you just need to calm down down. I
told you I was gonna call you. You need this
is you know, this is always You're always telling me
that I should go out and I should meet people.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
That I'm always staying home too much.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
So this is I finally I do it, and now
you're gonna get this upset with me. Oh, don't give
me that phone. I want listen, I want it. It's
not I want you to answer my questions. What answer that? Hum?
How long do you know this guy? I don't know?
Like a months? What was his name? Jacob?

Speaker 1 (03:08):
His name is Jacob? You see him at the fun
You're the one that's always saying.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
You know what, I'm just taking your advice, dad, Greg.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
I've always been taking your advice.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Greg? How many I want to know? How long you've
been him? How many times you've done it? Did you?
I want to know if you're.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Not telling me those things?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
He wanted out?

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Fine, he came over to house.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
He's been over three times, all right? You were tell
me about that two months? How dirty this guy was?
I don't know who? I don't know him, and now
I like him? Why did? Why didn't you bring him
home soil I could meet him first? Why douse not
like that?

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Why am I gonna introduce him to my dad?

Speaker 2 (03:37):
My god? Okay, dad, whatever, It's fine for you to
play a joke on me. You calling me up with
your friends, if you're gonna try and hook your daughter up.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
With some guy in the neighborhood that you don't even like.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
No, this no, no, this was a joke. He's supposed
to be some radio prig. All right, Hey Joe, Joe,
that's what.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Hey, Hey, Joe, it's Garrett.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Did I call I didn't call you.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
No, actually, because we actually just phone tapped you.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
So I called up your daughter and told her that
you wanted to play Frankna.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
My god, Oh my god, my god.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
So we pulled one on you. Joe.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Oh my god. I want to throw up

Speaker 1 (04:20):
Elvis Durant's phone t