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December 19, 2019 15 mins

We start where we left off , a show about NOTHING!

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
present Minute Morning Shown. I love it our special guest
in the studio, today's producer Sam Hi. You know you're
invited to come join us on the fifteen minute Morning

(00:23):
Show podcast anytime you want. Thank you. I usually like,
stay in my studio afterwards. Why are you hiding from
It's got production to do? Oh that's right. People do
have jobs. They do something out. I like how you
look at other people, like why aren't you in here?
Because she's busy? What is it? What is it with
you people? It's like Scotty sometimes, like why can't you
just walk in here to the studio? She has a

(00:45):
cat's working yeah, pine ice cream and she watches sad movies.
Excuse me, it would be a dog and it would
be rom comms. How dare you Brody? Wow? Really enjoying
you sitting in our podcast talk about well okay, well
let me set the table around a penis shaped table.
Is Brody and they're they're at the end at the
tip is Garrett. And then here's the of course producer

(01:07):
Sam and uh Nate is here and we will be
joined soon by Danielle and Gandhi and scary they're off
doing something. You know, this is the last podcast of
the year. That's right, that is true. I saw our
last podcast of the year, and then I will let
you know that we're leaving. We're going out of town
for a couple of weeks. Well, we could do ten
today and this way would have eight for the next

(01:28):
two weeks. While you look at me that way, I
don't think that's going to happen. But anyway, so yeah,
that's I keep forgetting that. You know, vacation is a
moment away. I guess we I'll believe it when I
see it. Can I give away a little secret? Sure, Brody.
So from what I understand, the digital team wants us
all to take our podcast and put up old episodes

(01:50):
as best stubs while we're gone. So after this you
may hear a new one, but it will be an
old one. Okay, So this is the last real one. Yeah,
we didn't have to do anything though, right, No, we're
off the hug. We're good, all right. So, uh, we
have we talked about the thought of maybe a new
Year's resolution or is there something you want to do
differently in the new decade? I was talking about that

(02:13):
has resolutions kind of like just been like gone away
and kind of like manifesting things and making things happen
for you, but a millennial way of saying New Yors resolution.
Millennial that's what that is. Uh So our our digital
personally and Dianna, who is our new videographer for the show,
we're like, oh, we're all going to talk about what
we want to wasn't make happen manifest for next year? Yeah,

(02:36):
I'm like, I what am I going to create? I said,
here's what I would like people to stop saying, manifest
in the new year. Okay, well, but creating things is
it's proven to work. You can create things for yourself.
Working on wealth for a while, it doesn't seem to
be working. You're working on a book, I am, yes,
how's that going? By the way, Well, I wrote the

(02:58):
synopsis and the pitch, which I'll be submitting while we're
on vacation, and I've written about five pages and I'm
starting to collect listeners stories to add to my story.
So what's your book about? Oh? Well, so even is
not free dessert. Even is not even, and it's all
about stories of times I was wronged in customer service situations.
And how the different ways I have a bunch of
different methods for getting free dessert or in other words,

(03:20):
more than I'm owed from the company. And then I
have listeners who are now getting free dessert and emailing
me with all these stories about how they got this
from Amazon or this from I got an email today
from about Wayfair. They got a hundred dollars back on
a on a shipment that was a day later. So
what are you doing this just out of the kindness
of your heart? I mean, are you are they giving
you a cut of what they get? No? Well, currently,
like people have fans of the Brooklyn Boys podcast will

(03:42):
like send in submissions for us to read and like,
I did it, I got free dessert. Will be so
proud of me. So I'm gonna use all those you
know in the book. Eventually here you go. Do you
have an outline of how you do get free dessert?
It depends on this scenario. So for instance, sometimes I'll
just I'll try the nice approach if I feel like
that's like, you know, it was just really important to me.
It was my wife's birthday. And then there are times

(04:02):
when I you don't understand, you ruined my weekend, and
then there are times. So I did a new one
a few uh six months ago. I tried a new
when it worked where I called customer service for a
problem and I got the woman's name and she said,
I'm sorry, I can't help you, and I went one
more question and I hung up. Then I called back
and I said, I was just on the phone with Maria.
She was about to give me the certificate and then
we got disconnected. Oh I'm so sorry. Yeah, let me

(04:23):
get that for you. That's not cool though, because they
did owe me. They did owe me free dessert. And
the first one didn't understand the concept. She did. Here's
the problem. When I buy Brodie's book and I try
to return it, He's going to make me pay him money,
which is I'm going to be even out more money
than what I paid for the book. I don't know.

(04:43):
The dedication will say no refunds. We were talking about
Brodie a little earlier here in the room. He does
he doesn't let it go. He's not gonna let it go,
kind of go hate that song. You really, you really?
I mean, when you have opportunity to like get something
on corrected or you always always do it you don't

(05:05):
let things go. Oh yeah, we were. I'm not gonna
give you the whole story, but we were Disney and
I wasted three hours fighting the fight while we didn't
get to Animal Kingdom because I was a custom service
demanding retribution. That's kind of a jerky thing. You could
have been enjoying this. It could have been. But this
is the first time ever my wife and kids went
get him dad. That's the first time ever. They weren't
embarrassed by me. Really, yeah, it was that bad. They

(05:25):
were like, do your thing. Oh, gentlemen, please welcome to
the podcast. It's Danielle and talking to Brody about how
you can't let things go. Why are we eve involthering
with that? Everybody knows that already. It's it's interesting, don't
you find that interesting? Find very interesting? But that's how
Brody is. It stems from his child there it is. Yeah, well,

(05:46):
I think that's I really think there's something to that, though, Well,
I think every siblings don't play as well and let
things go as well. No, I'm not gonna get into it.
I can take off the air, but I have an
actual diagnosis of what's my problem is. But it's not
because it's not because no, no, it's well, it's a
thing called entitlement. It's a clinical explanation. It's not like, oh,

(06:07):
he thinks he's entitled, right, it's entitlement because as a child,
you guys know my history, I wasn't. I was very
sick as a child, and I developed a thing of
I've had so much wrong in my life. I deserve
things to turn out well. A lot of people have that,
like I got fired and lost my lost my job,
call got stolen. I deserve good things to happen. I
love I love that man, and so I don't accept

(06:28):
bad things in my life because I've had enough of them. No, so, Nate, No,
you you were a sick child. Yeah, yeah, I don't
have that though. But yeah, yeah, but you're a good
looking You're not wrong. You need a redeeming quality in
order to you don't have entitlement problems. I don't have entime.
I mean, I do know when Brodie mentions when he's wrong,

(06:51):
I do get that sense. I do get a little
fired up, but I don't have the feeling of no,
I need this to go right because my life has
been awful. Because we'll buy a mirror, like, God, damn it,
they only five hundred. Damn I look good and then
I do kind of yeah. Wait wait wait wait wait
wait wait wait. So there's a connection between between being

(07:12):
good looking and letting things go. You let things go
because you're attractive. That's what I'll say about being good looking.
I think you get more. And I hate to say this,
I think you get more because you're good looking. I mean,
look at him, and I think I think a lot
of attractive people. Not saying I'm like overly attractive, but
I think a lot of people. No. True, it's if

(07:34):
you're tall, tall and attractive us forget it, you're going place.
We had Jason Derulo in here a couple of days ago.
He has a huge penis. Do you think he gets
upset when they put scions on his nachos by mistake? No,
because he has a huge penis. To go brody, you
get mad when they put scallums on your on your
whatever because you have a small penis. I'm saying when
you get blessed in life, I'm saying, when you're blessed

(07:56):
in certain ways, the other things don't bother you as much.
I think. Is It's true and I think you go
for you. Yeah, I don't blame that on your current
day entitlement because there are so many people who have
been through similar scenarios and instead take it as a
blessing and things roll off of them better because they
know how bad things can be. And you behave like

(08:17):
they did it to you on purpose. Yeah, it's like
no one's out to get you. The universe is Okay,
we're cast. We're throwing stones at Brodie right now. But
don't forget there's been times where all of us have said, hey, Brodie,
can you help me out with this? This person like
screwed me over. I know I've done it, you know what,
I've never I've never come to you for that. But
you said you were going to Scary. What happened to

(08:37):
Target because you used my theory? I got a hundred
dollar gift card because I had to scan my items
four times and it was there for over now? And
he says, what would Brodie do? Just kept getting e
raised and he went to customer service and he got
a hundred dollars. Okay. I also think all of us
have had moments where we haven't let something go to
that we probably should have, but we just kept going

(08:57):
with it. Not everything, not everything everything, But back to
Brodie's penis for just it's not it's not that's not
it is it. You're not saying Jason is blessed, he's
above above average. Yeah, but he's beautiful and it's i
mean just his body, his right, everything right. So if
he gets like you know, his food comes out five
minutes late, he's not going to have his life ruined.

(09:19):
He's still good looking, rich and hollid. But but here's
the thing, but you have a lot of other things
going for you in your life. You're funny, you're very adorable.
I know you don't think so, but you are when
you wear your glasses, especially to have a very nice family.
So for you to get upset because there's green on
your and that ruined your whole day because there's green
on your tomatoes or whatever, that's crazy. Now you're saying

(09:42):
I'm crazy. See one thing people really overvalue what being
good looking is in your life. Like everything fades. My
mom told me once that everybody's like a fruit, right,
We're all going to dry out at some point. So
the only thing that matters was the flavor, and that
flavor is from the inside, not the outside, and people
focus on the outside so much. Time you follow a

(10:03):
guy on Instagram because he had a nice inside. I
don't follow any guys on Instagram, how hot guys with dogs?
Different story. Another thing he does is when he does something,
you say something that he already knows, and if that's
the case, he goes crazy on you, like I know
that already, Like he does. That was me. I'll just
feel like you cannot tell something to Brodie that he

(10:26):
already knows, because he'll let you know that he already knows.
Happy Holidays everyone, Let's end this thing. Can I tell
you my new favorite retort to give to Brodie whenever
he's being a complete asshole to me, for he'll say
something back to me and then I say, Okay, how
about saying something that wouldn't piss you off. We're just
beating the more chapters in the book of Scared. Luckily,

(10:53):
this is our last podcast of the year, of the decade,
of the decade, we'll see it. So we open it
up for Brody to go around the room and roast
all of us. No, no, no, no, why not? Because
I'm really good at that. I don't want to. He's
a little too good at that. No, I have nothing

(11:14):
negative to say about you, guys, Scarious. I didn't find
it funny. That's scary. Scary loves to let you know
what is wrong about you right, which I feel is
a stigma he has like he can't he's not happy
with himself. Everyone has a disease here. So I complained
about food, he complains about me. Does he have a
small penis too? You have a small penis? Savage. Brooklyn

(11:42):
Boy's podcast works so well because the whole podcast is
like Scary's picking on Brody and Brody's trying to defend
himself and then trying Then Brody said something that bothers him,
and Scary lives on another planet, so he's like, what
is the ball that people don't like your kids? That
doesn't make any sense? Leave your kids on the sidewalk,
like he says things that doesn't make any sense because

(12:03):
he doesn't have kids. And then Brodie is a defendant.
It's crazy, Yes, that you are a great podcast. Gandhi
is up to episode like thirty of her podcast, but
nobody's heard it. What are you still producing? Podcasts? They
named Haven, named for it. Now, what's it called? It's great?
It's called What's wrong with Us? How come we're not

(12:26):
hearing it? Because I haven't released it yet. You drop
in the studio yesterday recording a bran new episode. You
guys will laugh and having a good time. Three episodes?
When can I hear it? I don't know. Sometime she
can make some money. Tell me you're never ever going
to release because my podcast partners are getting really asty
about it. But I was just holding out on some things.
It is good, though, I've left a few talking about.

(12:47):
Brodie has come in and joined in a couple of
the problem is she's a micromanager, so scary and eye
record and we just we just hear it. She wants
to edit it and tweak it and make sure it's perfect,
And so every time they go when can we we?
We all can wait? Can it go live? I'm not
ready tink I'm not done tinkering yet. Oh no, that's
not it at all. Actually, you're wildly incorrect. You told
me that the only thing I will edit out is
one of the people on the show says things that

(13:09):
will get all of us in trouble. So I have
to be careful what do you mean? What do you mean?
He just says, I don't even want to repeat them
because they would be very upsetting to a lot of people.
But he has no filter. He's a comedian, so he
says things that I'm like, dude, that cannot ever go
out on any platform anywhere. Why would you not want that?
That sounds like what you should be putting on your

(13:30):
not attaching myself to some of the things, he says, no,
wait for her to sac is bad. Just trust me
on this one. Sounds like you've got a top ten podcast.
Like sponsorships, that's what're going out for. Poor freaking serial
killers have been doing the their podcast forever. They can't
even get a spoon sponsorship for a spoon spoon. Every

(13:57):
time a serial endorsement comes in, I take it, Yeah,
you take everyone. Herry was at the Cinnamon Toast crunch
booth for the Jingle Bowls yesterday. Hi, and yesterday I
text Gombi, I got an endorsement. They want me to
do an endorsement for musin X. Okay, there's a new
music X out that doesn't make you groggy, which is great, right,

(14:18):
but but if you get this endorsement, they want you
to do a video for TikTok. I go what they go? Yeah,
they want you to do a zombie video that shows
that the music X doesn't make you feel like a zombie,
so they want you to do a zombie dance on TikTok.
My answer was, I think You're scary is much better
at this, And then they came to the scary are

(14:41):
you doing the musin X TikTok video? I am to
dress up? Do you have to dress up like the
big the big musin next Booger? No makeup, no makeup needed.
I love, Happy New Year, will see you The fifteen
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Garrett

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