Melissa O’Neil of The Rookie

This week, Tommy is joined by actress Melissa O’Neil who plays Sergeant Lucy Chen in ABC’s THE ROOKIE. Melissa has been a fan-favorite character over the course of seven seasons of this smash hit series, and she will be returning for a highly anticipated eighth season. You may also know and love Melissa from playing the lead role in the Syfy Channel series, DARK MATTER. At 16, Melissa was the youngest and first female winner of Canadian Idol and went on to become a platinum selling recording artist. She also has performed on Broadway in both Les Miserables and Jesus Christ Superstar. Today, Melissa opens up about that cliffhanger in the season seven finale, what she thinks might happen for Lucy and Tim next season, what it’s been like creating a beloved on-screen relationship with co-star Eric Winter, what she has most learned about herself since starting on THE ROOKIE, if there was ever a time in her career when she was uncomfortable with a scene, how she learned to communicate her concerns, the parts of playing Lucy that are both easy and harder for her, some of her favorite moments for Lucy, her reaction to Lucy being promoted to Sergeant, if she ever tries to give the writers ideas about her character, what she would want Lucy’s endgame to be, if she has the itch to do Broadway again, some of her dream roles, what her perfect day off is, how she maintains a positive outlook, something powerful she has never said before, and so much more. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me,
Tommy di Dario.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
I love a.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Conversation where my guests and I can celebrate the work
that you love, which we do quite a bit in
this episode.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
So buckle up. But then we go deep.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's a conversation that's raw and honest and so very
vulnerable because that's how we collectively feel seen. I always
say that I swear by it, and I don't know.
It's just like we're in this crazy life together, which
I think has tremendous value. So my guest today is
the brilliant Melissa O'Neil, who you know and you love
from the snash hit series The Rookie. Now The Rookie

(00:37):
just wrapped it's seventh season, and this is one of
the very first and only interviews Melissa has done after
that series finale, which I'm just so grateful for her time.
Today she is answering all of our burning questions. So
in her honor, pour yourself a cozy cup of tea
because she did the interview from her veris Nte room,
which I have tremendous fomo over. And now I think
I need to redesign my home and get one immediately,

(01:00):
get comfortable, and enjoy getting to know with some very
different sides to a magical human being. Okay, with all
of that being said, let's see if we can get
Melissa to say something that she has never said before.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Melissa O'Neil, how are you, my friend?

Speaker 3 (01:24):
I'm so well, thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
I'm so happy to have you here today. You have
been a highly requested guest on my show. I have
to tell you really, Yes, you have. Over the years
of seen your name pop up quite a bit and
timing lended itself to this moment, and I'm so happy
to be hanging out with you.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah, are we too? I wish we'd done it in
person with the upfronts, but yeah, happy we could make
it work.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
I know, I know that just means you'll come back,
We'll have you in studio, We'll have fun.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
I would love that.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Good good.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Well.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
In the meantime, we have a lot to cover today,
and I guess to begin, h I have a burning
question for you. Okay, how do you and your co
star Eric Winter nail that lingering stare like almost slow
motion kind of look at each other. Do you ever
break character and laugh. Do you have to yell cut?

(02:15):
Because it's pretty epic.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
Really, I feel like every every enduring, you know, romantic
couple on a serialized procedural like does that.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
I don't is it is it? Is it out of
the norm?

Speaker 3 (02:27):
I don't think we've never broken character when we've had
to do anything like that. I don't know if this
is a part of the gig you know, we have
we we are paid the medium big bucks to build
connection and have that uh that rapport with someone. But
I do think there's like a shorthand with Eric and I.
I don't know, I don't know how that came about,

(02:47):
but it's been there since day one. We were we
were raising each other right away. I do think humor
is a big part of that connection, and that's that's
just another form of intimacy that allows.

Speaker 5 (02:57):
Us to also explore lingering like intact.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah, for sure, for sure. No, it's such a you
like feel it through the screen.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
It's such a I don't know, sexy moment every time
you two do it, and I just I couldn't.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Love it more.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
It's so great that finale which just aired.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Oh man, it's like.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Been a season of Will They or won't they get together?
And we were kind of left off on a cliffhanger, right,
we don't quite know where it's gonna go. What did
you think about how everything went down?

Speaker 3 (03:26):
I thought it was pretty funny. You have you seen it? Yeah, okay,
I thought it was pretty strange and funny. How you know,
we finally get to this moment where they're speaking, or
he's speaking at the very least, and she of course
passes out. And I did see somebody comment on social media.
They were reflecting that it was really sweet to them that,

(03:50):
of course she finally gets a moment of sleep when
he's around, you know that there's actually enough safety and
ability to like let go into sleep. I don't know
if you've been in that situation where you're firing on
all the cylinders and you have to like be in
charge of everything and you just can't sleep or let go,
and then you're with that one person that makes you
feel safe enough and like, Okay, I can rest now

(04:12):
now that this person is here, I can finally rest am.
I really I hadn't thought of it that way, And
I love that reflection, and I think that's one of
the really special things about the fan feedback.

Speaker 4 (04:21):
We get like they see.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
These things in the relationship that even we don't pick
up on, even though we're spending so many hours, weeks,
and months and years with these characters.

Speaker 5 (04:30):
So yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Thought I was sweet. I know that everybody's like wanting more,
but I.

Speaker 5 (04:36):
Did enjoy that.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah, Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
There is a comfort in just being able to be
in the presence of somebody without having to feel on
or like you're putting on some sort of show. And
even though those two characters have such a history and
we don't know if they're going to end up together
or not in this moment, it's still like that that
piece of your story never went away, that comfortability never

(04:59):
went away, which is really cool.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
Yeah, that sense of home. I've talked about those two
characters like that before. I think there's like a there
is that. Yeah, that's that's how I talk about it.
There's a sense of home, and that's I think that's
what translates to the audience as well. That's why I'm like,
obviously they're supposed to be together.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
You guys were a huge part of the storyline this season,
in which of course begs the question. In season eight, like,
do you think we'll get an answer? Will you all
be together?

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Well? Maybe not, maybe, So what do you think it was?

Speaker 3 (05:29):
I honestly, if it was up to me and if
I had the chance to say this without knowing the answer,
I probably would have been like, I have no idea,
because I think that there can sometimes be this idea
that once they get together, then the payoff is done,
then there's like nothing to like wrote people in anymore.
But I do think that there is a sense of
wanting to escape into an aspirational relationship that like finally wins.

(05:54):
You know, there's a whole bunch of there's a whole
generation of people out there that are like, oh, duty
is really hard.

Speaker 4 (05:59):
I just want to see something that's like working well,
you know.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
But I read an interview from our showrunner the other
day that he said that it's happening next season. He
doesn't know how we're getting there, but it's absolutely happening,
and so congrats to Chinford Nation.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, yeah, it sounds like a win. It is a win.
It's a huge win.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
I think people are going to be I don't know,
having a parade down the streets after hearing that that's amazing.
That's amazing, and you're so brilliant in this role. I mean,
you've played her for seven seasons. I imagine she's very
close to you and to your heart, and you just
probably understand her and get her little intricacies in a
way that feels so comfortable and safe and connected. Right, So,

(06:42):
I'm curious, is there a moment where you think this
season Lucy forgave tim for everything?

Speaker 3 (06:49):
That was a total left field for me when that happened.

Speaker 5 (06:54):
That when the revelation that she.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Had actually forgiven him happened, I was I definitely was
a little bit confused and needing to backtrack because we
got the information as the scripts came, you know. But
I think our show does that a lot. We jump
around on the timelines a little bit, and I think
that's one of the joys of having an audience that
pays such close attention, because then there will be this

(07:19):
post rationalization that happened and they're like, Okay, so if
that is the case, if we rewind back three weeks,
then maybe that's that.

Speaker 5 (07:26):
Was a clue of where that was happening there.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
And it is such a credit to our writers that
they're able to piece together a story that allows for that.
Whether or not everybody thinks that that is they would
agree with that statement is up for debate, but it's
gotten us this far and people seem to love it.
So I'm hoping that that the forgiveness will be a

(07:50):
little bit more fleshed out and how we got there
in the new season hopefully, But you know, we don't
want to spend too much time there either, because I
think people are eager to see them get on with
the one.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yeah, for sure, they want to keep the story moving
and that's so interesting. So in that situation where it's
not totally concrete and as to how that happened, did
you have to pick a moment like, Okay in the season,
I feel like at this point or this scene I shot,
maybe that's when I kind of forgave that character.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah. I think there were a few moments, but in
my heart, I always felt that it happened in these
like because I've been there. I've been in that situation
myself where you're upset about something and then you're in
proximity and you're getting back into your life and you're
seeing things that they're exceptional about and you're feeling the

(08:39):
comfort that you have and maybe it's falling.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
Back into old habits.

Speaker 5 (08:42):
It could absolutely be that.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
But sometimes the stuff that you beef about, like time,
does heal things, especially for a character I think like Lucy.
You know, she's got through a lot of traumatic stuff
and it seems to fall away, and that is something
that Alexi has felt into who she is as a person.
She's not the type of person who's going to linger

(09:05):
and chew and just like keep grinding down on this
thing that's caused her suffering. She's going to keep it
pushing because she's got a lot of beautiful things in
her life and she has a.

Speaker 5 (09:13):
Lot of love in her heart, especially for this guy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yeah, dating is not easy, right, We've all been there.
We've all been there.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
I don't quite know how you do it though, in
terms of a long relationship on a show for seven seasons,
keeping it fresh, keeping it interesting, keeping it exciting, keeping
it real and honest, which I think is also a
testament to the work that you do. So is it
really fun as an artist to explore something so long term,
because not a lot of people get that opportunity.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
I think it is fun and it can be challenging
sometimes too. I come from theater, so I love being
in a space where it's like, Okay, we're going to
do the exact same story eight times a week. You've
better live in and make it real. Like that is
such a it's a cauldron. It's like a firing to
practice that. And so I do think that there's a

(10:09):
lot of juice from that space that I've brought here
that can keep it fresh and new. But it's also
a testament to the writers. It's the pacing of our
show that allows those moments to not get too tired.
I hope. I will admit sometimes I get a little itchy.
You know. She is a very specific type of energy
and character and as an actor, like sometimes I think

(10:30):
of Lucy as this really like happy dumpling. You know,
She's got this cheerfulness to her that is kind of impenetrable,
and even when she's like hard and tough, she can
like seamlessly go back into her levity and her joy.

Speaker 5 (10:46):
And I love that. And also it'd be cool to
play a villain, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
I recently had an audition for somebody who was just
so like on the complete other end of the spectrum
and I was like, oh my god, Like the artist
in me feel really like exercise and do stuff to
have an opportunity to flex that aspect. But it is
an absolute joy, and especially in the world that we're
living in today, it is no small thing to be

(11:13):
part of a show that is like becoming a legacy
in its own way. To have such a long running production,
to be with so much of the original cast and
the original team, like, it's absolutely absurd. It's an insane
blessing that I'm.

Speaker 5 (11:29):
Not confused about how rare it is, you know, so
I can.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Flex it later, I can do it at home, I
can do it in practice, you know. It is It
is a lot of fun. And the cast we are
a family on that show, and even when we get
new people in, like they also feel like family. And
that's a credit to the casting team, you know, like
they know how to slot people into our show and
it just feels amazing. And I think that's why that

(11:56):
camaraderie translates so well, because it's real, like we're not
having to fake that.

Speaker 5 (12:02):
Yeah, it's it's wild.

Speaker 4 (12:04):
You you saw it. I hope you saw it on
the cart.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah I did.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
I did when I was working in the carpet, it
was so fun to see your entire cast just hugging
and smiling and laughing with each other and just really
having each other's backs. You know, it can be overwhelming
to walk a carpet like the upfront, there's a million
people everywhere, and to see your cast so tightly supporting
each other and even coming over and doing group.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Interviews, it was really really sweet to see.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
And I think that sets the tone for the entire
production all season long, season after season, And that's one
of the many magical things about your show. I imagine that
you've learned so much about yourself from season one of
playing Lucy to going into season eight of playing Lucy.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
So what would you say is something.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
That when you think back of you know, all of
that time that you've really learned about who you are?

Speaker 5 (12:53):
Oh boy, that is a.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
Huge question, because a lot of life, especially when you're
moving from your twenty into your thirties, happens in eight years,
so much life. And I moved to LA for this job,
so it was also like my first time living in
Los Angeles. I think, in connection to the Rookie, some
of the things that I've learned are You can always

(13:17):
feel that maybe you're capable, and then to be thrust
in the space and then to know it through an
experience is a completely different thing. And to have these
like fortifying moments for one's confidence is I think critical

(13:39):
for an artist. And at the same time, I've also
had a lot of humbling moments as well, and so
there there's a really excellent balance that when I reflect
on the last few years, I'm like, oh, yeah, I
really stepped up to the plate in that moment, and
that could have used some improvement. And for me, a

(14:00):
lot of that has to do with being an artist
who has opinions in a collaborative environment and not dampening
my voice because of power structures and at the same
time knowing like not to overreach in certain spaces that
are not for me.

Speaker 5 (14:18):
To overreach in.

Speaker 3 (14:20):
And it's a very nuanced, specific dance, but I see
it all the time, like new people will come in
and you can see that they have an impulse this thing,
they want to do it again, they want to say
it differently, and then they stifle themselves because it's not
their space, it's not their home. But actually that is
exactly why you've been hired. It's for your voice, is

(14:41):
for the space that you take up. And I think
one of the reasons why a really skillful director is
so valued is because, especially in serialized television, they know
how to take up that space immediately as a leader,
which is exactly what you need. That's why you're being hired.
You're being hired to come in and to lead the
space and not to like squish yourse out too much

(15:01):
in order for everyone else to feel comfortable. And I
think that's especially hard with the added layer of being
a woman, and a woman who's playing a character who
is kind of like you know. That's how everyone is
mostly interacting with me is through that that voice. And

(15:21):
I learned a lot in that way and also been
deeply inspired by this industry to be in it for
so long and to have so much of our core
team be with us for the duration of that time.

Speaker 5 (15:36):
I just have this incredible respect.

Speaker 3 (15:40):
For the craft of television making, which I think can
sometimes in the world of television and film, they're like TV,
you know, it's not that big of a deal, but man,
everyone is working so hard and it requires refined artistry
to pump it out at a volume that they're pumping
it out at from top down, from storytelling to the writers,

(16:03):
to all of the costume teams to like organize a
cast as large as us on like a slip of
a day. Yeah, I'm really inspired, and I think what
I'll what I'll round this out with is my biggest
takeaway is if you have a lot of strong opinions,
you got to go and make it yourself. You know.

(16:25):
That's that's the thing, Like, if you want to if
you want to create, you know, you got to stop
put to this, stop talking about your opinions, and go
out there and do it, which which is no small feat.
You'll understand the second you make that attempt. So yeah,
I think I think the biggest thing I've taken away
from this window of time has been just what an

(16:48):
incredible industry to be a part of. That's just like
sham packed with artists and I am still reaching inside
to like figure out how I belong. You know, I
love it, but I like I slot him in a
good place and I can feel those parts of my
craft and creative art.

Speaker 5 (17:07):
That's like I want to branch out.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Hello, was there ever anything in your career where you
didn't feel comfortable doing a scene or saying a line,
or didn't agree with the choice made where you did
speak about it and kind of saw that by using
your voice you can get an outcome that serves everyone.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
Oh my god, Yes, it happens all the time.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
You asked.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
You asked like a compound question there and the first one.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
I am always having a dissenting opinion, Like it's excuse me,
it's always happening. And it's not because I like disagree
with things. It's I just I feel like an optimizer
and a naturalizer. I'm like, how do we how do
we make this more ABCDFG and hold on, I'm just

(18:04):
editing a story that I don't need to tell out
right now. In my mind, I'll tell.

Speaker 4 (18:09):
You later, but I don't want to tell it in
the podcast.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Okay, that was funny.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
But that happens to me all the time. And I
do use my voice a lot of the time. And
actually I had a conversation with Nathan, our wonderful leading man,
recently about how do I fitness when I want to collaborate,
Because what I notice is that sometimes when I'm in

(18:39):
a collaborative space and I'm like, oh, what do you
how do you feel about you know? And I said,
I don't understand. I feel like sometimes when people see
me coming around, they're like that they kind of tighten
up a little bit.

Speaker 5 (18:50):
And I said to me that, I was like, I
don't get it. Is it me? Is it that I'm
even coming at all in the first place? Like how
do I?

Speaker 3 (18:56):
And I go to Nathan for stuff like this because
he has so much experience being not only like the lead,
but the executive and being somebody who does collaborate, and
I see him do it in a way where nobody's
nobody's bristling, you know, nobody's wondering what's going on. And
I'm like, is it?

Speaker 5 (19:13):
Is it?

Speaker 3 (19:14):
What? Is there something in my teeth? Like what is it?
And he was so sweet and offered me a beautiful
like gold star and then he told.

Speaker 5 (19:24):
Me he was like, I'm gonna I'm want to show
you what you look like when.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
You walk over and he goes to mimic me. And
I know that this is a podcast, so I'll also
describe it. But he was just like, you kind of
sometimes you come over and you and my brow furrow
is what I'm thinking when I'm thinking when I'm chewing
on something, my brow naturally furrows, and you know, I'm
I don't have botox there right now.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
And.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
It can be a little bit off putting. And that
was a really important and there's I can already hear
that there's like a whole channel of like feminist thinking
that can be like that's what my face does. Nobody
thinks that way when a man does that, you know.
But I do think that it's okay to be a

(20:16):
woman and to understand that things are different, and it's
okay to reach for a world and a time where
it is completely equal. And also I think you shirk
opportunities available to you if you don't understand the world
that you're living in and how to play the game
for yourself. You know. So that was really useful, honest feedback.

(20:36):
And I look back, it's been i don't know, probably
like thirteen years now that I've been doing television, and
I'm like, wow, I couldn't really use that now a
little while ago, you know, because it's been many years
of me trying to collaborate and chat about things and noticing.

Speaker 5 (20:52):
This little adjustment that would have served well.

Speaker 3 (20:57):
But all this to say, I often have something to
say and something to contribute, and the rookie is a
very collaborative environment and they're very receptive. And oftentimes what
I want to contribute has less to do about story
and just more about delivery or intention, and sometimes that

(21:21):
finesses the language a little bit, but they're very receptive
to that. And I'm very grateful for the trust that
I've been given with regards to Lucy and how she
approaches things.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, I love that story because I think sometimes we
don't always know how we come off, and you know,
and I think there's little things we all do and
maybe they just feel so natural or we don't even
know we're doing them, and then someone's like, hey about that,
and you kind of think, oh, okay, and it's not
I mean, I don't take it as an insult. It's
kind of like, if there's a way to improve my

(21:57):
verbal and nonverbal communication, like let's have that converse. And
whether it's right or wrong, or people get treated differently,
I mean, that's life and we just have to deal
with it. But I think that's cool that you took
the note and we're kind of like, all right, I'll
work on it.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
Yeah. Yeah, it's important to be amenimal in a creative environment,
and also to not be precious, too precious about your things,
about your ideas, about the way you're looking. You know.
I think all of that stuff is very important in television,
which can seem counterintuitive when you're talking about a bunch
of actors who it's like it's their job to be

(22:31):
like mostly concerned with this specific space regarding the self.
So yeah, again, that's another aspect of like the humbling
part of my time here. It's good to remember like, yes,
I'm here, I'm doing this thing, and also I'm just
one small part, and I think that keeps right relationship

(22:53):
in check, you.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Know, Yeah, for sure, for sure.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
So as the human Melissa, what parts of y for
you come very natural and what are more challenging for you?

Speaker 3 (23:05):
M Lucy is probably a lot more action based and decisive,
And by action based, I mean like she can take
a decision and.

Speaker 5 (23:21):
Determine herself towards it.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
You know, the amount of times that we've seen her
or or heard about her studying very hard for a test.

Speaker 5 (23:28):
I'm like, oh, that could not be me.

Speaker 4 (23:33):
I'm an actor.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
No, no, no, but that's that's not something the academic world
is a place that I'm drawn to recreationally, but I
don't think I would ever have been able to pursue
it in a proper way. That is a lot of dedication.
But I do think that this spirit of being action
based towards like she has an altruistic heart. She's quick

(23:57):
to help people, and that feels very accessible to me,
you know, in to play those moments in a space
of like absolute truth feels very accessible because I'm like, duh,
of course, you know, like, of course we're going to
do that. Of course we're going to run over there.
Of course we're going to like immediately turn the car
around and come get you. That stuff feels very easy

(24:17):
to touch.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
And I also think.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
I think all of the romantic stuff in all of
the iterations it's gone through is listen, I'm a double cancer, Okay,
So I'm like, I'm very loving, and there's like a
very maternal, watery energy that like runs through my system
whether or not I'm aware of it or if I

(24:44):
want it to happen. And I do think that that
has that's bled in back and forth between like Lucy
and I with the way that she is with her coworkers,
her roommates, her lovers. Like it's just kind of it
exists in that space, and it doesn't hurt that all
of the people that I've had the pleasure of being

(25:04):
paired up with for scene work, they're all just really lovely.
So like that kind of also really makes it makes
work very easy.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, yeah, well you I mean, it's not easy. You
make it look easy, That's the truth of it all.
We've seen so many great moments from you this season.
When you think back on season seven, was there a
favorite moment for you, a favorite scene?

Speaker 3 (25:28):
Oh? Y, I do feel like you know, Lucy, let
me see here.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
Be careful, I'm intrigued, you know.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
I know, I know I have to be careful about
how I talk sometimes because God bless them, our fans
pay very very close attention and sometimes a sound bite
can be pulled out and made into something, and I
want to be mindful of that. As we are three
quarters of the way in. Yeah, I want to reflect

(26:05):
on this season. Let's see, Alexi was directing us. My
character in particular, was like in a totally different place
energetically than where she was at the end of the
previous season, and I was like, hold on, hold on,
what's happening, you know. So there was also like that
collaborative thing that we were talking about earlier that was
happening in spades, and it was happening with some of
the other actors as well, and we were just trying

(26:28):
to figure out what was going on, and all of
the stuff I love about this job were happening in
and around those first few episodes when we were establishing
the tone for this new season after a massive time
jump and a contextual jump. It was a lot of
different things going on. And yet even though I think

(26:50):
I was like, I don't understand what's going on, there
was a real sweetness to revisiting an old relational dynamic
for Lucy with Bradford, Lucy with everybody else in the
station that I found so charming. So there's like a
part of my brand that was like, I don't understand

(27:12):
what's going on right now, and then the other aspect
was thinking, this is really sweet. We haven't done this
in years, you know, So in that way it was
kind of it helped me to understand what Alexi was
trying to touch, Like the sweetness that Alexi was trying
to give the audience and bring back to the audience

(27:32):
after a season of.

Speaker 5 (27:34):
Like sad breakup, you know. So that was that was interesting.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
I don't know if it was my favorite scene from
this season, but I appreciated the environment behind it.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, that's so cool to hear. I mean, there's a
lot that happened this season. Excuse me, I should say, sergeant,
do I need to call you?

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Sergeant?

Speaker 3 (27:56):
You may?

Speaker 2 (27:56):
You may?

Speaker 1 (27:58):
You just walk around saying please call me that. What
was your reaction to that happening? Did you see that coming?

Speaker 3 (28:06):
I we we knew we were working in that direction,
So yes, I did. I did see that coming. I
did feel for a little bit like a loss of
these other dreams that she had and was working very
strongly towards as far as her UC career and becoming

(28:26):
a detective, and that big letdown, especially because we had
spent so much time establishing even to the point that
she was saying to her superiors like I don't want
to do this, I want to do this, Like this
is what I really want to do, you know. So
it was in character something that she was very passionate
about to the point of sacrificing this people pleaser that

(28:47):
she is, you know, and at the same time I
understand in the in the context of the world of
the rookie, you know, there's only so much you can
do with one type of storyline, wanting to branch out
and do something different. So I am sad to see
the undercover thing slip away, and who knows, things can

(29:10):
always come back. It's not like her undercover capacities died,
but it'll be interesting to see. I think one of
the things I'm looking forward to if they decide to
explore that, is what happens when a person who is
relatively young in the field is promoted to a place

(29:34):
of seniority and power and likely over other people who
are older and maybe who have been on the force longer.

Speaker 6 (29:44):
You know.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
I'm interested to see, like how the power dynamics play out,
and if we're even going to touch that. I think
that's an interesting space to investigate. Also having two people,
I mean, he's still outranking her, but to have Bradford
and essentially both be sergeants, maybe them having different opinions
about how to do things. We kind of saw that

(30:06):
with how they were being training officers, but I think
there's something interesting there to explore just how we navigate
power structure. But I have no idea what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
Yeah, that stoaked for her though they keep you guys
in the dark. They're like, we are not risking anything leaking.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
Well, and I think they're also figuring it out too,
and as the season unfolds, that helps to inform what
else they're going to write. But yeah, we are fully,
fully in the dark. I have no idea what's coming.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah, do you ever whisper in the writer's ears? And
I know they're amazing capable and talented, and you know,
are brilliant and do their thing, but are you ever.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Like, hey, I'm thinking this idea for season eight.

Speaker 5 (30:48):
You know what's funny.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
I was chatting with my team the other day because,
excuse me, in the time that I've been doing television,
I see actors do that all all the time, and
it always has rubbed me the wrong way because I
used to be friends with a showrunner who would lament

(31:10):
about that. He was like, oh, god, and so and
so came into my office and was trying to so. Yeah,
I had this like underlying fear of I don't want
someone to speak about me in this way, so I
certainly don't want to be that person. And then at
the same time, the squeaking wheel gets the greens. Baby.
I've seen it a million times and I haven't figured
out yet how to overcome this fear of being seen

(31:37):
as someone troublesome in an undesirable way. You know, there's difficult, yeah, yeah,
there's good trouble, and then there's like the person who's
like coming in and trying to stick their.

Speaker 5 (31:49):
Grubby actor fingers into your art.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
Like that's not what they're paid for, it's not what
I'm paid for, and so I try I've tried not
to do that, and I did once early in the show.
Early in the show, like in the earlier seasons, I
sent Alexi and email once where I was like, I'm
not going to say it because I know that people
will latch onto it, but.

Speaker 6 (32:10):
I was like, hey, I just want to say I've
never seen anything like this, and I thought that maybe
this would be a cool thing to integrate for Lucy's character.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
And it's possible that he just didn't see the email,
but I never heard from him, and I kind of
just like let it slide because it really touched on
that fear that I had from my previous experience where
were like, ooh, oh, my goodness, I totally overstepped my boundaries.
So yes, I think there is a threading of the needle.

(32:40):
There is a narrow path to walk, and I see
it all the time. There are creatives, there are actors
who aren't even EPs, who just are emboldened and don't
care how they're being perceived, And there is something to
be said for that orientation as well. But at the
end of the day, you have to do what's right
for you and how you orient your craft and how

(33:01):
you orient to the world and yourself as a person.
And I haven't quite figured that out for myself to
be in a place of comfort, because I think there
are some environments where it's welcome and other environments where
it's not that it's not welcome. There's just a clear boundary,
you know. And that's not like a negative thing. It's

(33:21):
just like, this is where I stand, and this is
where you stand, and let's.

Speaker 5 (33:25):
Work like this.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
One day, when the Rookie comes to an end thirty
five years from now, what would you want Lucy's endgame
to be? Like anything can happen, of course, we're just
having fun here, but like, what do you see as
her final endgame?

Speaker 3 (33:48):
I was reflecting this morning that something that I don't
know why. I kind of focus on what have we
not seen? What are we not seeing? I think about that.

Speaker 5 (33:57):
I don't know why.

Speaker 3 (33:58):
It's like a hook that I have in my brain
for some and I was thinking this morning, I was like,
where are we going with her? And I know that
a lot of people are like family house kids, and
maybe it's because it's an aspect of my own reality,
and so I seek to be reflected in the media

(34:19):
that I consume, you know, So it's perhaps this, But
if you ever like you do you do you listen
to Tracy alis Ross or like have you seen her? Like?

Speaker 5 (34:28):
Sound right?

Speaker 3 (34:29):
Okay, So there's something really interesting to me about like
the free anti you know, who is just crushing life.
And maybe things didn't work out the way that she hoped,
or it's not even about the way that she hoped.
It's like things are great and this is how life
would folded, and there's nothing wrong with that either. We

(34:52):
haven't really seen that. I know that's not going to
be the most popular thing, but I wondered if that
would be an interesting story to have reflected in our
universe because everyone is in this beautiful heteroonormative nuclear family situation,
and so I mean, of course I would love for

(35:12):
Lucy to have the happy ending, but what that looks
like can mean a lot of different things. Yeah, I
I don't I don't want I'm not I don't know
if I'm interested in seeing Lucy going out with with
some wild murder or anything like that. I think we
want to see her grow old, not just for my
job security, but like I just get the sense that
that's a character that we could evolve in a really

(35:34):
beautiful way. I'm not sure, and I think, my this
this could be just muscle muscle memory of like trying
to not have too strong about opinion about my character.
I'm realizing, you know, like this could just be a
well worn eight year synapse firing of Like I'm open
to whatever they would like to do.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, yeah, well I think you are for sure. I mean,
you made it clear you're very respectful of the journey
the writers want to take her on. But I think
I think that's cool that you do have some ideas
for maybe when that final day comes, and to put
out there the possibility of her not having perhaps a

(36:17):
traditional American happy ending, right that we all think of,
is interesting. I think it's very interesting and relatable, and
I like that you, as a human can personally relate
to that in some way.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
You know.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah, that's really really interesting and cool and food for thought.
And hey, we'll see when that time comes thirty five
years from now.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
What you're like thirty five years, I don't know. I'm
just like, hey, everybody, right, Oh.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
My god, we're going to play this back and watching
thirty five years that's going to happen. I love it,
and I love the joy you bring to so many
through this character and through the show. And I think
it's so cool that you just seem very balanced in
your artistry and in your life. And I know being
a human is equally as important to you as being
an artist, right, And you've lived a very colorful and

(37:07):
interesting life, right, starting kind of in music and winning
Canadian Idol and then now being here where you are,
do you ever get the itch to do more with
music or a musical or musical theater or Broadway?

Speaker 3 (37:22):
Oh my god, I missed Broadway. I met I love music,
and I've been we've been going to some conventions recently
and people are breaking out my CD from like.

Speaker 5 (37:33):
Twenty years ago.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
Dude, love a good CD.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
It blows my mind. There was there were a couple
of people in Paris that like had they had private
one on one meet and greet time and they were like,
I just want to sing your song with you. But
I was like, oh girl, I don't know lyrics. So
that was but it really like shocks me to understand

(37:57):
that people are still listening or that even something that
people sti't want, so I'm certainly open to it. It's
always felt to me that music, if you're making it
for consumption, is kind of like a young person's game.
But it hadn't occurred to me just to make it
for the pleasure of it. Because I love singing.

Speaker 5 (38:19):
I do it all the time.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
I just don't do it for a paycheck, you know.
But God, it brings me so much joy. It makes
me feel so alive, and I think I would just,
oh God, I would just die for another opportunity to
find myself on stage. There's absolutely nothing like it. It
marries all of my favorite things as far as like

(38:41):
being a storyteller and singing and using that as a
vehicle to deliver the inner world of a character.

Speaker 5 (38:49):
It's just, oh god, it's so juicy. I love it
so much.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
It would certainly have to be the right thing. And
again that that does require a certain amount of that
like inner confidence that we were talking about at the
very beginning, because the theater world, you know, you've gotta
you have to get in there, and there's so much talent,
there's so much rich talent out there, and it has

(39:15):
its own ecosystem of how it operates. So I do
think it would require a little bit of unwrapping of
and also training, because I having done it, it's not
something to take lightly. It's not something that you can
just be like, oh, yeah, I know, you don't sing
like that. You don't sing like an athlete.

Speaker 4 (39:33):
No you don't.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
So get back in the gym and like do your drills.

Speaker 4 (39:37):
So it would it would take some unwrapping for sure.

Speaker 3 (39:39):
But I would absolutely just be pulled over to have
another opportunity to be in that space. And I don't
even I think sometimes there's like that strange it's a
fun dance that my team and I do because you know,
after you're doing something for a certain period, of time.
There can be this feeling. I can the feeling like, well, no,

(40:02):
that's not worth your time, worth my time?

Speaker 5 (40:04):
What do you mean?

Speaker 3 (40:07):
Sometimes you just have to do it for the love
of it, And I believe that. I like, I understand
quotes from everything. But I'm not somebody, you know, I
don't have any dependents, and so like I have liberty
to do that, and I want to certainly, so I
hope to do that. I don't have any plans at
this exact moment. I'm still very much in a space

(40:27):
of just like being a voyeur and enjoying it for far.
But yes, I miss it so and I would.

Speaker 5 (40:33):
Love to do that.

Speaker 3 (40:34):
Oh I got ADD'd off. I need to have more
confidence because I feel like I don't have the chops
to be in that space, even though I spent like.

Speaker 5 (40:42):
Eight years doing that.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
You know, I think having come from a world of
a singing competition, there's a lot of at such a
young age, it's not like terribly legitimate. It doesn't come
with a pedigree, and so this idea like I'm aware of.

(41:05):
I'm aware of that way of thinking about it, and
it is pervasive in my mind.

Speaker 4 (41:09):
Instead of reflecting.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
On the celebratory side, which is like, that's so cool
that I did that at seventeen.

Speaker 4 (41:16):
Like the other aspect, the person.

Speaker 3 (41:18):
Who's been in the industry for so long and seeing
all the people who have such a developed craft and
a network that they've developed from having gone through you know,
post secondary school and then building from their small projects
and like really earning where they got to.

Speaker 5 (41:32):
Like, I have a lot of respect.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
For that type of grind, And when I reflect on
my career, there's a lot of just like, hey, I'm here,
Hey I got fired, what's up? Like it's a blessing
for me. But I also can sometimes when I really
get down to brass tacks, it's a little bit hard
for me to take myself seriously because of that.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yeah, it's so interesting.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
Yeah, I feel like sometimes we glaze over or don't
honor all the parts of our journey that got us
to where we are today. I'm guilty of it too, right,
I was telling you earlier off camera that I like,
I didn't just wake up and become a host, Like
I've had a million careers in different things, and and
my husband will always say, like, you know, you always
kind of don't talk about that, and it's a huge

(42:14):
part of your story because you want to be where
you are without that. So I think it's very human
to do that. And that's very interesting to hear you
talk about how you feel in relation to the confidence
of going out there and maybe one day leading a
musical or whatever the case may be. But something tells me,
if you want to do it, one day, you're going
to do it, and and we'll see, we'll see if

(42:36):
that day comes. Is there a musical just out of
curiosity that you love or always have loved where you're like,
oh my god, playing that role would be a dream.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
I mean obviously I would just die to like not
be too old to like work in Hamilton. I just like,
I'm like with every year that passes them, like, oh
I'm getting one year away.

Speaker 4 (42:58):
It's so prop but I.

Speaker 5 (43:02):
Yes, what an incredible piece of art.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Yeah, I'm so like, I'm such a fan girl over
fill up with suit like she's just I saw her
and do you remember what was the what was the
comment was the eighteen twelve comm Did you see that
one show that she was in?

Speaker 5 (43:17):
It was like in the tent in the parking lot
across from the nails.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
But I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (43:21):
Oh my god, I just I've seen I've seen her
on the lot too, because we were shooting on the
same lot, because she's doing the other the Oh.

Speaker 5 (43:28):
God, I forgot.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
I'm so sorry, ABC. I forget the name of it.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Yeah, doctor, doctor, Yeah, good job.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
But I've seen her before and I'm.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
Just like, oh, she's she's just a dream.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yeah, she's so talented. She's the best.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
Okay, all right, So we have maybe Broadway coming up.
You mentioned earlier maybe playing a villain one day. Would
you ever do something in the supernatural space.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
Oh my god, I love the sci fi supernatural world.
I think those fans are like nobody's fans, like they
just they because so my first TV gig was this
amazing sci fi show called dark Matter. It only ran
for three seasons. It was only supposed to warn for five.
Very sad story.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
People want you back on that.

Speaker 3 (44:09):
By the way, I would be so well, I was,
we need to finish it. I just I don't know
what's going on, Joe. If you ever hear this SoundBite,
I just I hope we do it one day. But yeah,
that's a very sad story about how that fell apart
But anyways, sci fi fans are like no other fans

(44:29):
in the world. They pay such close attention and they
get into the nuances of everything and the science and the.

Speaker 4 (44:35):
Tech of it all.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
I love it, and I love the supernatural world too.
I think of did you watch WandaVision?

Speaker 2 (44:42):
I loved it.

Speaker 3 (44:43):
That was incredible and she crushed it, you know, like
she was working with a movement coach. I think there's
something really fun about So. I love Chigong and tai
chi and martial arts and a lot of the superheroes
that we're seeing these days, Like there's a manipulation as
an actor, you're manipulating energy and fields that you, the

(45:04):
human being cannot see, but your character can. And that
just touches all the juicy good stuff with like Chigong
that I would so so be down to play. Yeah. Yeah,
the more that we can suspend the reality, the more
of a stretch it is to touch truth in a
way that is receivable by the viewer.

Speaker 5 (45:28):
And I would absolutely love the opportunity to explore that
a little bit more.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
Yeah, I feel like there's a lot coming down the
line for you. I am just saying I can see
it all happening, and that's really cool. And I love
the escapism of all of it. I mean, that's why
fans and people gravitate towards art and TV and all
of these projects. It's just to be able to escape
reality and immerse ourselves in a world that's not ours

(45:53):
is part of the huge appeal and connect with characters
that really make a difference and make us feel seen
or happy or joyful, like you do for so many people.
But aside from being the artist that so many love,
Let's say you have a day off.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
What is the perfect day off for you? Like, what
do you like to do?

Speaker 3 (46:12):
Oh? My god? Okay, so the perfect day off starts
off with me waking up probably around like four thirty five.
There's like a really juicy quiet space and stillness to
the air. You know, like if you wake up at
that hour for like a flight or something that you like,
open the windows and you can even feel it. There's

(46:32):
a vibration, yeah, vibrations, right, we feel the bustle of
the city. You can hear like the air blower, some
fime blow are happening over there, and like when all
of that is so still, that is like the absolute
perfect time to drink tea in the morning.

Speaker 5 (46:47):
It's so sublime. So I'll come in here.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
We're in my tea space right now. I'll come in here,
set the kettle, sit down. I have a lamp that's
got really dim light, and I love drinking tea before
this sun rises, and then as the.

Speaker 5 (47:01):
Sun is rising.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
It's really sweet to like start in the dark and
then you end and the room is like fully lit
and like I'm ready to start the day. Then I'm
probably going to hot yoga and just getting destroyed by
one of my absolute favorite yoga teachers. And then normally
I would have said, hang out with my dogs for

(47:22):
the rest of the day, but they're not here anymore.
They've passed recently, so I'm kind of like doing a
thank you. I'm kind of like in a strange empty
nest zone right now, which is really bizarre, of like
recalibrating what do I do with my time? But I
think right now what I would say. I'm also my

(47:43):
friend's made of honor, so that's taking up all my
free time. But if I had a fully free moment,
I have a couple of creative projects that I really
want to gift myself.

Speaker 5 (47:58):
The discipline to devote.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Yeah, I have, I have a I have a film
that I'm trying to write, and I have I love
photography and I kind of want to put together like
a little photo book. I don't know, it's I'm just
I'm like chewing on it. It's just something small for myself.
But I think it's important to nurture your relationship with

(48:24):
the muse, and it's something I'm working on. I don't
I don't tend to it. I'm definitely somebody who's like
I have to wait to feel creative and like wait
for it to hit me. And my intellectual understanding of
that is that that is not a fruitful way to
have that relationship. It's meant to be tended to daily.
So yes, I think I do that.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
You strike me as a very grounded person, and I
feel like, on a separate episode, we could talk for
three hours about energy and what you put out because
I'm so like that too, and I'm so I just
I live it.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
I believe it.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
It's it's eyeballs you have. Do you know what shen is? No, shen,
It's it's like a it's like a life force. It's
a life for it's another like traditional Chinese medicine term,
but like your jing is also your life force, but
like shin is something that like shines through your eyes,
like when you're vibrant, and like through your life force

(49:21):
is like coursing through you, and.

Speaker 5 (49:22):
It really like shines through your eyes. You have you
have very bright shin.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Oh thank you. I've never heard that before. That is
so cool and I appreciate that. I I I mean
every day I think the universe and whatever you may
believe in for being here, and just I live very
gratitude forward and present. I try to be as present
as possible. So I think all of the cycle of
energy and all of that is so fascinating. Like I said,
we could talk about that for another so I'm not

(49:46):
going to bore everyone, but I think one thing that
strikes me about you is you seem to live very
positive forward, and whether that's a choice or just who
you are, it seems that it's something that's very important
for your growth and your existence, and that's just kind

(50:06):
of how you're programmed. Is it easy for you to
live in that sort of way or do you kind
of make that conscious choice day after day.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
I think when you come from a space that is
difficult and hard. When life gets good, you have at
least a baseline perspective of how blessed you are, you know,
Like it's hard. It's really hard to be upset, and

(50:35):
it's really hard to be upset. I get upset about
little things all the time. But there is so much
to just enjoy and be happy and pleasant about. And
it is a matter of orientation, and it is something
that can be practiced. And now I don't think about
it as much, although I forget and then I go, oh,

(50:59):
I need to remember, you know. But there were many
years where I was needing to like muscle myself to
a cushion, to orient to the understanding that nothing is permanent,
you know. And I think that holding impermanence as a

(51:20):
truth of cosmos helps you to not be so blotted
when things get hard, and when things do get hard
or sad or painful, to feel them fully so that
you're not storing it away for later, so that it

(51:40):
can run its life course, because you know it's not
going to be forever, so let me just feel it now.
That way it can continue on its way and I
can move on and back to my natural state, which
is yay, yeah, because it is our natural state. But
I would say it's it's easier now, but it was

(52:00):
many years of like meditation and yoka, And I think
that isn't something I can take credit for, Like, that's
that's some karmix stuff that I'm very grateful to have
received from whoever gifted that to me. You know, I'm
just grateful to have found it again and to you know,
roll around in the teachings like a cat in catnip.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
Yeah, No, that's first of all one of the best
analogies I ever heard. But I think it's it's such
a refreshing way to live, and it's a practice for
a lot of people, and it's a reminder, a daily
reminder for a lot of people.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
And I think that life.

Speaker 1 (52:38):
Throws so much our way that if we at least
can have that baseline of feeling exactly how you described,
it just helps us go through life in a much
more peaceful kind of way.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
And I'm all about that. So I think it's.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
Really cool that you share that that you live that,
that you teach it in a way and you know,
kind of pass on that wisdom to so many people
like you are, right now, and my god, Melissa, I
could talk to you for I swear four more hours,
but I'm going to wrap it up even though I
really don't want to, and you can talk about.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
A whole other set of things I can tell.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
I know we really could go like super deep, super deep,
super deep. Maybe another day for sure. But the name
of the show is called I've never said this before,
and it was born from I cover a lot of
red carpets and press junkets, and as you know from
going to them, it's two minutes with somebody, it's six
minutes with somebody, and I just kind of started seeing,

(53:32):
maybe intuitively, that people were craving more real conversation and
wanting to share something about themselves or whatever it may be.
That's not the same sound bite that every outlet gets, right,
And I walked away kind of saying.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
I see something in their eyes. I just there's something more.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
There's we're missing real moments that I feel like people
don't get the opportunity in your shoes to often have
that are uninterrupted and unrushed and truly about you.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
So that's how the show was born.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
And I'm wondering today if there's anything you can think
of that you've never said before that you want to
share whatever that means to you.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
Okay, so this is so beautiful. By the way, what
a lovely intention for your podcast. I think it's so sweet,
very very generous. Yeah, so my I did not open
the email with your zoom link until like three minutes
before this, and I opened it and I was like, oh, homework,

(54:32):
and I.

Speaker 4 (54:33):
Was like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
I'm like, okay, that's fine. I was like, let me
just sit here, and I close my eyes and I
could feel parts of my mind going like what do
I want to say? And and then I was like
I can't. I can't do that because if I think
about how it's going to look, I'm gonna like mess
this all up.

Speaker 4 (54:50):
So I just I was like, let me just stop,
and I fully just like got quiet, and I'm like whatever, I.

Speaker 3 (54:55):
Never said, oh low, And I was really surprised and
a little bit uncomfortable at what I heard, but I'm
just going to let go for.

Speaker 5 (55:04):
It because I don't have anything else prepared.

Speaker 3 (55:06):
And this is what I heard. What I heard was
I love my body.

Speaker 5 (55:12):
And I was like, oh that's.

Speaker 6 (55:15):
Yeah, that's true and weird and okay, and I think
it's so strange being an actress, your a commodity, your
fleshly vehicle is like this product.

Speaker 3 (55:37):
You know, As I was getting ready for the upfront,
because I spent a whole week becoming a very pretty
pony for it, you know, I was getting my hair done,
getting my nails done, trying on all these different clothes,
making my tail was braided, you know.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
Like, is this whole thing?

Speaker 3 (55:50):
And as somebody who spends or is more interested in
spending time with a different aspect of my being here,
it is strange to have your body be a representative
of you. And I've been like trying to integrate it,

(56:10):
you know, like trying to integrate this. I once heard
someone refer to the body as like this sacred animal
that you've been gifted in this lifetime that's like carrying you.
To take care of it and to think about it
in this kind of separate way. For me was really
useful because taking care of a sacred animal, Oh girl,

(56:32):
I will do that to the end of my days,
you know. But for some reason, when it was like
just me, I was like, I don't care about this
part of me. I'm more interested in my soul or
my consciousness or whatever. I wasn't grounded, you know, and
dismissing this part. And I think in this industry as well,
like there's so much concern with it that you're not

(56:58):
immune to understanding that there are certain things that are
desirable certain things that are not. And then also like
my I have gone through so much fluctuation in eight
years my body on this show. It's a journey, and
people treat you differently when you look different ways, and
it's fine, you know, because that's just how it is. Again,

(57:21):
this goes back to like the furral brow thing, you know,
but everyone treats you differently depending on how you look,
and that's always very interesting to feel and experience from
behind your eyeballs to like see that happen and you're like, wait,
I still feel like what in both directions, you know,
like oh, they're being a little bit more dismissive or

(57:42):
they're being a lot nicer to me, Like what's that about?
So all that to say is what a wonderful prompt
and thank you because I really feel like I am
kind of going to be going away from this podcast.

Speaker 5 (57:59):
It's like me of it, but like I'm going to
go away from this and just.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
I want I want to be someone who says that, like,
I love my body because it's it's been through a
lot with me and it's carried me and it's so strong,
and it's so funny to me how women, so many women,
and then we all have this crazy experience and to

(58:28):
live in Western society that has so much focus on
this part, but they don't regard it as your sacred animal.

Speaker 5 (58:35):
They regard it as commodity to profit from.

Speaker 4 (58:40):
Is it's hard for my sensitive cancerrian.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
Soul, you know, And so I'm looking forward to taking
that unexpected nugget of like realization and tending to that,
you know.

Speaker 5 (58:57):
So, yeah, thank you for the question, and yeah, I
appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Well, no, thank you for opening up and sharing that,
because I know it's not something that's always the most
comfortable to talk about or even admit to, you know,
oneself or other people.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
But I think it's something so deeply.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
Relatable and powerful because so many people go through it
and pick themselves apart and notice things that maybe other
people don't even notice, but in our minds it's like
the biggest.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
Thing in the world right right.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
It's it's just so it's it's more common than I
think people let on, and I think when they hear
it from someone like you, who is such a vibrant
and beautiful soul inside and out, it's it's really helpful
to feel less alone and to maybe start getting to
the place where seemingly you are where you say, you
know what, I do.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
Love my own body and I'm thankful for it, you know.

Speaker 3 (59:56):
Yeah, yeah, everybody, now.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
That's right, that's right. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
That was really beautiful, this whole conversation. I just love
that we could celebrate the show that means so much
to so many, but really get to know you in
a deeper way. And I thank you for being so open.
And you know, I know in studio yesterday didn't work out,
but you still wanted to come do this and I'm
so glad you did because this really was a wonderful conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
Yeah, thank you so much for all of your questions
and your time and being open to rescheduling.

Speaker 4 (01:00:26):
Oh my god. And I'll see you next time.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
I hope, yes, I hope you're coming to New York
maybe this summer and we can I don't know, take
hot yoga and go look at the full moon, and
you can teach me more things about what is it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
Called the eyes? The shen, the shen like shen, s
h e and sheen.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
Okay, I look forward to another lesson from you soon.
Thank you, my love, Thank you so much for hanging out.
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy Didario.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piglisi at Iheartrate
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've

(01:01:04):
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more rate, review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio