Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Halloween Candy

Mr. Michael Oppenheimer is a pain in the ass, trying to sell Halloween candy!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone, Elvis Durand. Elvis Durand's phone tappen.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
All right, Scary Caitlin wrote in and wanted a phone
tap her grandfather, who does not listen to the show
and says at home all day and hates telephone telemarkers.
So I thought I would get in with mister Michael Oppenheimer,
the relentless telephone telemarketer.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
It was fantastic. Here we go today's phone tap. Oh, yes,
good afternoon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Candycounter onlinedirect
dot com. How are you doing today's here? Who are you?
The Candy Counter online Direct can supply you with all
types of candy for all kinds of occasions.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
I don't need I don't eat candy at all.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
For instance, Halloween is on the way.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
I don't have anything to do with Halloween, so I
don't have any candy and I don't need any.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
But you will have some ghosts and goblins coming to
your door as they trick you for treats.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
No, I don't think.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
So, this is mister Michael Oppenheim with Candy Counter Online
speak to you. Yes, we did, but I didn't finish
what I had to tell you, but you didn't understand.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
I was finished talking to you.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
I don't need any children will ring your doorbell and
they will want to enjoy what's in your tubo treats
for nobody.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Nobody's gonna ring my doorbell, my lights.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
You're off the tub. I'd like to break you off
a piece of the kitchen anymore. How can you crisp
crunching peanut buttery butterfingers?

Speaker 3 (01:27):
You're not listening to me. Do not call me anymore.
Call somebody and also gives it.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
This mister Michael Apahemer with the tub o treats.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
You just called the same number again, ah, a different number.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Hello, sir, wouldn't you like to taste the rainbow of
skittles and then FLT in your mouth? Not in your hands?

Speaker 3 (01:56):
Can go up here? As far as I'm concerned.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
I have one for you.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Somebody else, and take my number off of your phone
and go bonor somebody who gives it sir. One question
question you do you're not listening to me?

Speaker 1 (02:10):
How many licks does it take to get to the
center of a TUTSI pop?

Speaker 3 (02:13):
I don't get it, comedy lex it takes for anything.
Don't call me ever again. You're calling me again.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Oppenheimer's the name in Candy's my game.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
I don't want to talk to you anymore.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
We'll even throw in a tube of toothpaste and twenty
five dollars off your next dental.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
Visiit my teeth and I don't need any toothpaste.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Oh boy, this is mister Michael Oppenheimer with touboutrees.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
What's your number? Open OPPERA.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
I'd like to interest you in the Granny candy canister
for just twenty nine.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
Dollars interest in a single thing you.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Let's take a trip down memory lane with whack clips,
physicist memory, slow pokes, candy, cigarettes, sugar daddies, I hate kids, chicklates,
nag nuts and chunky.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
You take your chiplets and shove them up your sins.
And how about sugar baby, sugar baby.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Which credit card would you like to use today?

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Sir? Credit card? Body whoppers, pop rocks, dumb.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Dumbs, O red Hot more, funk lemonheads, pixie sticks, water
chuckles and bottle caps.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Whoa sour patch? I just need some bas and quiet.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
What are you going to hand kids when they ring
your doorbell?

Speaker 3 (03:49):
I'm gonna that's not very nice.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
You were once a child. You know Sarah and.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
You cad I was born sixty five.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's. I don't
sneakers really satisfied? Sir?

Speaker 3 (04:04):
Are you that your life wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Be so crotchety if you ate some spend.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Your all day talking to somebody that doesn't give.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Us mister wondering how I know your name?

Speaker 3 (04:21):
Why do you? How do you know my name?

Speaker 1 (04:24):
This is Kary Jones from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
From your granddaughter is playing a phone tap on you, Caitlin,
Caitlin got you.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
Good Man's in big trouble.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
It's a joke on the radio.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
My blood pressures up about one hundred points.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone table was pre recorded
with permission granted by all participates. The Elvis Duran phone
tap only on Elvis Duran in the Morning Show