No Sex in front of Elf on the Shelf

Megan’s kindergarten teacher calls dad to say, her Elf on the Shelf may know a liiiiittle too much about mom and dad’s relationship.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Don't answer the phone, Elvis durand the Elvis durand phone.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Tapping a Danielle phone time.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Oh boy, all right, so Carol is playing a tap
on her husband, Chris. I am calling as their kindergarten
teacher for their daughter. You know, they have elf on
the shelf talk at school, and we've got an issue.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
You are a phone tap from daniel Let's listen in
here you.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Hello, Hi?

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Is this Megan's dead?

Speaker 3 (00:26):
It Hi?

Speaker 1 (00:26):
This is missus Blad from the kindergarten teacher from it
Will be an elementary.

Speaker 4 (00:30):
Oh yeah, what's up?

Speaker 1 (00:31):
All the kids come in every day and they talk
about their elf on the shelf and I know hers
his name Pippen. And she was saying to the kids
that she heard mommy and Daddy in the room where
Pippen was, and Mommy was screaming, and she thinks Santa
is not going to come now, yes because And then
I asked her, I said, well, what are you talking about?

(00:52):
And she said, Pippen was in mommy and Daddy's room
in the morning, hiding, and mommy and Daddy were doing
something and Mommy was screaming.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
I don't know, And then she started to make like moaning,
sounds like.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Mommy was going, Oh, did save this in front of
the class.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
She said it in front of her friends. Oh my god,
I mean, what is going on at your house?

Speaker 4 (01:11):
What? What's going on at my house?

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Are you guys doing it in front of the elf
on the shelf?

Speaker 3 (01:17):
What kind of questions? I think it's a very read
in front of an elf. I forgot that thing was
even there. It's just part of the holiday decorations.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
I'm guessing you know you didn't even know she was listening.
She probably got up to go to the bathroom or something.

Speaker 4 (01:28):
I had no idea she heard what was going on,
but she did.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
And now every child in the kindergarten class also knows
that the elf on the shelfs a mommy and daddy
having sex.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
If my daughter did something embarrassing, I'm sorry, but this
is not the way to Hans to call me at home.
My sex life is none of your I don't understand that.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
But I really think.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
That you know, I think you do understand it, because
you keep tucking me about this. This is none of
your business, okay, But.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
When the other children go home and tell their parents
this story, and then I have to deal with the
other parents.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Calling me how that mom? Excuse me, sir, how is
that my problem.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
With your child? Notable? Like I said, my sex life
is none of your business. I'm sorry if you create
a problem for you, but it's not my problem. And
I don't need you call me up at home and
give me grief about my sex life or what goes
on my house. What goes on in my house is
none of your business because it.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Becomes my business when all of a sudden the children
in mine afective.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
I apologize all these people or something. For God's sake, Lady,
what do you want from me?

Speaker 1 (02:22):
You just hung up on me, all right, So you're
gonna call him and we're just going to listen in.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yeah, well, I'm talking aboy the store on the way home.
Do you have an ideas that you want for dinner? Chicken?

Speaker 4 (02:34):
Sounds good?

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah, I'll get some time.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
You will not believe what just happened.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Mega's Future called why Megan was telling everybody about the
elf on the shelf at school. She heard you and
me having sex and the elf on the shelf in
the room, and she heard you making noise. She heard
you yelling and screaming and moaning and and wait, well,
I know I can't believe it, so that it was
wait wait.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Wait wait, somebody called and told you this.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Megan was telling everybody this at school, and this is
what listening there listening to it. But then missus Wader
calls me and she says, what kind of the hell
are you guys doing there? What are you guys doing it?
I kind of went off on her.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
You yelled at the teacher.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
She pissed me off. I know, but what if you
don't call me about my sex life? At least she
didn't walk in on us, right if she saw you
there in those nicetl across those families that I just got.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
I was there.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
I know.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
You don't have to describe it.

Speaker 4 (03:22):
Man and the cris stop stop coming out. Why don't
you come on home? Don't stop something.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Please stop stop what you're embarrassing me. You're embarrassing me.
You're embarrassing You were not embarrassing other night you were
in you were I know, I know, Stop it now. Okay,
what is your problem? What is going on? Stop you
being recorded right now?

Speaker 4 (03:47):
By who?

Speaker 3 (03:49):
You are being recorded? Okay, you're being reported by me?
What what the hell is going on, We're trying to
phone tap you.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
What.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Yes, this is.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Danielle Minarrow from Elvis Durant in the Morning Show.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
I'm gonna my parents listen to this.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
Yah. I know, I'm just trying to talk to you.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
The Elvis Duran's phone tap. This phone tab was pre
recorded with permission granted by all party Space.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show