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April 13, 2022 16 mins

Who wants to host today? We play pass the mic. Gets gross towards the end.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
present minute morning show? All right, who wants to host
a fifteen minute morning show podcast to raise your Hann's

(00:26):
that's a tall order. Can do it. You're the person
he said, all right, oh, COVID COVID you grade all
of Tribeca with your COVID? Does that mean that heat?
Now that he piped up and said something, I can
pass it on to him because he's supposed to do this. Yes,

(00:49):
but now it's on his hands and touch everything. I
just say, as far as the COVID goes, remember when
this this whole thing started, and I think it was you, Elvis,
You go, hey, it's just one of us is gonna
get it. Somebody's gonna get it. Yeah, what are you
praying it with? But here we are and it's nine

(01:13):
months later and not one of us has And why
would you say that. I'm just saying, like, you don't know.
My daughter had a little runny nose the other night.
We had to get her a COVID test. So maybe
first be fair, you may may have had it and
didn't know it. Maybe it Diamond, Diamond had it. Diamond,

(01:37):
I guarantee it. I guarantee you in this zoom room
right now, I bet you one of us has had it. Alight.
We have carried it. I'm betting we just don't know attention,
and I know I'm paying attention. I have not had it.
I've had too COVID tests and both times negative, but
not in the last months. I'm not. I'm sure I

(01:59):
had it at the end of February, beginning of March.
Stop it, well, I said, no, I had the flu.
I had the flu really bad at the end of
February beginning of March, and that's before they were testing
for it. So I think I had it. Yeah, I'm
twelve and ol one COVID tests, I'm you've had twelves. Well, yeah,
because Ali's Ali's going to work and she works in

(02:19):
a medical office, so she has to get it to
work in the office, and so I'm like, well, if
you're getting one, I might as well get one by default.
So I mean, twelve and ol my nine year old
as much braver than I am. I don't want that
thing in my nose. I don't think it's nearly as
bad as everyone. I thought it was awful. I thought
they were going to pull my eyeball out. Oh my goodness,

(02:40):
it does tickle your brain. Danielle, have you gotten one now?
I haven't gotten one because I'm convinced that this is
one of those men versus women things where men are
being much more baby ish about it than the women are,
because all my girlfriends are like, yeah, I did it,
no problem. When Brandon and I did it, he came
out of that room like someone punched him in the
face seven times. I really, I really think it. It
depends on who's administering it. They are different levels of jamming, Yeah,

(03:03):
there are. They're different different tests. Different tests go deeper.
I've done it twice. It didn't hurt me, but he
went deep. I'm just used to that. I guess you
are through. And I had to do it myself. Oh
I couldn't. That's not even kind of trustworthy, though, because
people are never going to push it. And that's the

(03:24):
problem they say with with doing it yourself, because everybody
just does like a little swab around the edge of
your nose. But you really got to get in and
up there to really get the results you need. Uh,
not all tests for that way, That's not true. That's
that's they used to be, but there are tests where
they just do an inter swab. Just alright, So what

(03:45):
else is going on? I think we can sit here
and talk about COVID all fucking day. Can we talk
about something other than COVID sex list? We want the
sex list? Yeah, let's talk about the sex list. Um,
here's the sex list. Survey reveals the sex habits of couples. Okay, oh,
guess who didn't the condom company directs did it? That

(04:06):
makes sense? Couples that revealed they have sex about seven
times a month on average. How are we doing with that? Um?
He's answering that. First the course, it's a little more
than once a week, right, twice a week, but let's
let's call it twice a week. I know that our

(04:27):
situation is different because Brandon and I don't see each
other all the time, but we are way above that.
Started dating for like a year and a half. A
third of those polls say they don't like to openly
discuss the subject of sex with partners. It takes five
months together before they bring it up. What I mean, like,
when are we gonna do it? Like that? Like sex?

(04:48):
A sex report that they don't bring up sex at all.
During a relationship at all. What Wow, that's don't talk
about healthy. We just do it. What Why is it
an healthy if you're doing it, why do you have
to talk about You don't talk about it, just do it.
But I mean, what if maybe one person likes something
or doesn't like something. What if they are on different
pages about how much they want to do it, or

(05:10):
what time of the day they want to do it,
or all kinds of stuff. I mean, everyone's different. But
I have to also say, like our hours kind of
messed that up a little bit because it's partially my fault.
I go to bed like nine o'clock nine fifteen every night,
so you know, my wife is still wrestling with the
kids at that time. So I have one opportunity a
week Saturday night. That's it. That's my only opportunity. If

(05:32):
I miss that opportunity, you know, then it could go
for a couple of weeks. Get it in and get
it done right, you know. Backing up just a nine,
I there are a lot of people who just don't
like to talk about sex. They just don't And they're
not like us because we talk about anything and everything,
because we don't have a filter. We we talk about
things that we shouldn't talk about sometimes in life, right,

(05:53):
But don't you think it's it's better to talk about it,
because if you learn about something that your significant other
doesn't like in the middle of it kind of just
like ruins the mood, you know. I think when someone
goes no, no, I don't do that. No no, I
agree with that, but I'm not saying I'm saying a
lot of people don't. There's a lot of people that
just go, let's turn off the lights and pretended didn't
happen and get it over with. They enjoy it, you know,
they loved it. They would have done it. They loved it.

(06:16):
But they're like, okay, what now next? They're embarrassed. I
think there's something kind of cute about the naivete about like, okay,
we had sex. I don't know any of those people.
I need more of them in my life. Like us
flirts it all right out, but like our parents, our
parents would be like, oh no, we didn't have sex.

(06:37):
I'm like, well, how did we get here that parents
don't have sex? They know? My mom told me it
was the immaculate conception that he's a liar, and my
dad jokes about it. I cringe. I don't even I
don't even want to hear a joke about him and
my mom. They did it too, That's how you got here.
I understand that. But they were much younger and better
looking then. I don't know. Your mom is very good. Well.

(06:59):
I always said, if I happen to stumble across a
video of them from back in the day, I'd probably
watch it for just a little bit. Scott, really, I
mean holding the camera. What you're saying, you're more you're
you're you're more scared of blood than watching your own
parents do it. Yes, I'll pass out from blood. What

(07:20):
happens if you see it both at the same time,
your parents having bloody sex. Let me, let me, let
me put that in your head. Oh my god, sweating
Scotty's Perving's just got him today. He's done. All right, Gandy,

(07:42):
you're still hosting? What now? Oh? I would like to
pass my hosting onto Scary because he sneezed into the
microphone and contaminated it and he needs to make it up.
It's just like that. You are we passing around the
hosting stick like popcorn? Why are you passing this to me?
I have nothing to say right now? Why you know,
I don't know. Okay, Okay, that's fine, Nate, you got

(08:03):
something pass go to Brody. Brody host the show go.
I know you're never you're never lacking. Well, first of all,
what's behind you today? Oh? I'm glad you asked. My
My shelf has a sponsor today. It's sponsored by Noble
Dog Food and Guardian Dog food which, as you can see,

(08:23):
my dogs love look at that natural ingredients and they
even have vegan treats. You find it all out at
Guardian Pet Foods. There's just a treat today and the
dogs love it. Anyway, sounds like Brody just got paid
for that. You get paid for that? No, my dog look?

(08:44):
My dog look can also go to n O b
O Foods dot com as well. That's correct. I'll thank you, Froggy.
Are you both hold on? Hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on? Are you both being paid by Noble Pet Foods?
I can't speak. It's a yes or no questions. I

(09:08):
need a yes or no, Brody, yes or no? Well,
they you have to disclose if the responsor you have
to Yes, they are a sponsor for me for Instagram.
But since we're having a conversation. You said to put
something on my shelf. Okay, no, as long as you
disclose it. Foggy are they are? They a partner of yours.
They are a sponsor of Rocky and Rex, and they

(09:30):
both like n O b L Foods dot com. They think,
oh my god, you guys, I have totally missed. I
am missing out on all this. I get a dog,
I don't I don't have I don't do sponsorships for
any of my stuff online, none of it. I'm missing out.
I could be making a lot of money. One of

(09:51):
my as you know, my oldest daughter is a vegan.
She just got a puppy dog food. The dog only
eats vegan food. So thanks the Guardian food. Look, we
have I think the topic though, we have a topic
I need help with. So my wife and I still
have the silver ware we got when we got married, right,

(10:12):
so it's the every day where. But over the course
of the last you know number of years, the kids
have thrown out accidentally all the little forks and spoons,
and so I've been looking online for I don't know,
seven or eight years. It's discontinued, and I finally on
eBay found someone who's selling a full set of our silverware,

(10:33):
but it's used, comes in the original box and everything
the wood box. I said we should get it because
you can sterilize it, and she said, no, I'm not
using somebody else's silverware. I pointed out, we do in
restaurants all the time, back when we used to go
to restaurants. What's the difference, So would you buy you silverware? Yes,
I feel the same way. I wouldn't buy someone too

(10:54):
used crap. But then I do realize that I use
it other places. But it's it's a head game. Just
got from Noble Foods. You go out and buy some
new silverware. The point is, I mean, no, you wash it.
It's good. It's not like you're buying someone's underwear, right,
I pointed out, we drink out of terrible glasses at bars.

(11:15):
They've been used by every skill. Why can't we use
silverware the dishwasher? Good point? But you know what, there's
another point here is that we we had this argument
my house all the time. So for our wedding we
also got silver that we use every day, and it
was an eight place setting. For some reason, we only
have five forks left. Like where the fund. Did three

(11:35):
forks go like when you're cleaning the kitchen and you
throw things away and they end up like burying under
food that you're throwing away. If I'm eating take out
or if I have anything to go, I put my
fork in there and I eat it, and then I
put it back in the fridge. And then when I'm like, oh,
I'm not gonna eat that, I just chuck it. Silverware
is more intimate because it's going into your mouth. Then

(11:58):
let's say, then, do take your own silverware to a restaurant?
Scary because you go to restaurants more than all of us,
right now, Do you take your own? Do you take
your own? No? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know
why it's different for me. So I got to be honest.
The the used silverware that Brodie's buying has been used
a lot less than the silver ware you're using in restaurants.
It's only been in a family full amount. It's not
a whole world full of mouths exactly. I think you

(12:23):
can like throw it into bleach or do whatever you
need to do some acid. I don't know, it'll be fine.
You know, we see it, We see it in hotel
rooms when they go in with the dark light. They
never show what utensils look like with a dark light.
I would because they're not hanging out in the room. Yeah,
why no, But wait a minute, So that dark light,
what is it? It shows up like semen? What else?

(12:46):
Up like bodily if you should use a spoon to
get every drop if there was a murderer. I think
the light shows it to right, like even like old
blood stains that have been removed, like all kinds of stuff.
If it's like bodily fluid, so so you're gonna find
blood on your forks. This is never disgusting conversation. Remember

(13:09):
where we had the conversation about hotel rooms? Who was
it scary? Serious? People jerk off on the curtains. Yes,
I didn't said that. I believe near the curtains or
the do they cover scary because they never change your
wash does. But people are looking out the window trying
to be kinky and do it. They might wipe themselves

(13:29):
up a curtain on the curtains, So don't go near
the curtains on a curtain like get a towel. I'd
like to use blinds. There's the curtain, Dick curtain that

(13:51):
sounds like a sports sky sports in Atlantic City. Scary.
And I went to your hotel room, you're like, and
I go to look at your view from the window,
and you're like, oh, back away from the curtains story.
I have a fear of hotel room curtains because they're
put up the hotel is built, and they never get changed. Scary,
You're scary. You're absolutely right. I mean, I'm assuming they're

(14:13):
supposed to go and steam them from time. You know,
look for that guy. He's the mad hotel curtain comer.
The hotel for an owl. Average have a whole different
thought now, Scary and hotel rooms, even if they touched everywhere,
they're they're dirty, filthy hands are going all over the

(14:33):
curtains and they never get washed. Scy. You did say
quote the curtains and hotel rooms are loaded with semen.
That's what you said, Headboard, Scary. I went fishing with
my dad one time, and he's like renowned for finding
like motels that are so ridiculously cheap. We stayed in
this motel one time. I don't think they had ever

(14:56):
changed the sheets much, the curtains. Cardboard. It was seventeen
dollars a night. He was so proud that it was
seventeen dollars a night for a room. But I was
I was going to when we left, I was going
to write a note and put it in the bed sheets,
and the note would have said, if you're finding this note,
they didn't change the sheet, you should have done that.
I'm convinced that and Scary, you should write a note

(15:18):
and put it on the curtains. If you're blowing alone
on the curtain. I was here before you. This is
a disgusting, disgusting, disgusting It has to be. I don't
think I would like my children to be listening to
this one. They need they need to know the truth

(15:39):
about hotel curtains. They could have ended up on hotel
curtains instead. They're living beings. What's that, Roadie? Does anyone
else think Scary is the one who sold the curtains
And he's making it sound like he heard that the
bay where he heard it from. Well, he free definitely
is overthinking topic. I'm not a curtain bet. People wiped

(15:59):
their app with the curtains to why not? Oh Scott,
he's done it. I'm done. I'm done, We're done. We're
good bye, goodbye, goodbye, bye bye, goodbye. What's sucking off
the fifteen minute morning show

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