Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcasting show?
Thank you? Probably Yeah, I don't see the light. Ones
(00:28):
doesn't usually have a light on this as we recording.
It does on the on the zoom. The zoom is recording,
but does my thing record? Everybody? Yes? Coming? Okay? Yes?
Is uncle Johnny running this thing. By the way, if
you're wondering what we're doing, we're trying to figure out
if we're on or not. Tell us if you are
(00:52):
we on. I'm gonna say fifty at this point looks
like it. I don't know. Brody just said something. I
can't hear a word. He's saying. He got jokes. Brodie
got jokes. There is all right, Well, we think we're on.
It's the fifteen minute morning show podcast, give or take
a few minutes. What's a few minutes amongst friends, here's
(01:14):
Froggy and they're Scary and they're Straighten Eate and Danielle
and Scotty B and Gandhi and Dave, Rody and the
Den and there's Garrett and I'm your host, Elvira Duran. Alright,
so we think we're on. I think we are. It's
it's a good beat. It says it's recordings. I'll put
(01:36):
my money on it. Good, do you do that? All? Right?
Where were we were we gonna talk about here? We
have something we want to get we wanted to get into.
Someone said something about loud sex. Yes, yeah, Well in
New York City you can actually complain to someone there.
I think there's a loud sex commission you can actually
complain to. Brody sent me this article and it has
(01:58):
a list of some of the actual complaints, right Brody. Yes, okay,
let's follow up with that. Yes, okay, But Elvis, in
my defense, you said I sent you the article, so
I thought you were saying you were going to read
and I said three times and for everyone, can you
please pull it up? Did you guys hear me saying
(02:18):
I wanted you to pull it up so I can
throw it. Okay, Well I have it right here. So, uh,
three one one is the number in New York. It
took a complaint line, and so last year was one
of the highest amount of complaints of loud sex that
people were upset about. So the New York Post printed
out some of the voicemails that were left. One of
(02:39):
them said, help me, there's an orgy going on in
the backyard, boobs and penises being flashed on the street. Help,
another one said. Another one said, my neighbor was shouting
loudly that he has a sexual tarannosaurus. Maybe he is, Okay,
how much can you do with those little arms? On
(03:01):
December twenty three of last year, somebody said, um, my
neighbors are singing perverted Christmas carols. Uh. And some guy
is singing jingle bells while another person is screaming yes, Daddy, yes, daddy,
come down my chimney. Yes. These are the complaints. So
if you're in New York City, you can dial three
one one to complain. Now you know what, As you know,
Brody doesn't live in New York City, but he loves
(03:23):
to complain. No, I don't have sex. You know you
don't have You don't have three digits to call when
you have When when you have a complaint? In Jersey,
I live, I live in a hall in a house,
so I don't hear anybody either in my house or
next door making any sex noises. I'm talking about complaint
in general. I mean you go to a restaurant, you complain,
you go to That's why park store you complain? Podcast. Okay, Brodie,
(03:48):
what was your last complaint in general, like about anything. Oh,
I had a fight with direct tv um two days ago.
That was bad. I have to get help. Yeah, what happened, Well,
there's a problem. I'm not gonna get into details, but
there's a problem with the app, and so you can't
fix the problem on the website. So every time you
(04:08):
called direct TV, they say, oh, we have to transfer
you to our digital department. But every time they transfer
to your digital department, they actually transfer to a T
and T, their parent company that wants to help you
with your broken phone. So I couldn't get any help
with the app, and it was it was almost still
ten o'clock at night before I finally got someone in
Missouri who understood what I was talking about and helped me.
(04:29):
But it was a lot of don't transfer me, don't
transfer me, hold on for transfer, and they would transfer.
If you raise your voice at them, they are on it.
I know these customer service people message you on purpose.
They say they know they can hear it in your voice,
and they're like, a, let's funk with this guy. In fairness,
The first three times I said, oh, and do me
(04:50):
a favor, please don't transfer me because I don't want
the A. T and T phone division. Oh no, absolutely,
we'll get you to the digital help center. Great and
every time. So the fourth guy, Yeah, so hey, A
T and T needs to sell directing. Here's my complaint
when I have a problem with my internet, with with
my whatever, and I try to call my carrier and
(05:12):
they're like, well, before we put you through to a
live human, have you reset your motives? Yes. I've been
resetting moments modems for five fucking thousand years. I know
you have to take all the court and I've done that.
Is the button green? Is it blinking green? It's not working,
(05:32):
It's not working the plug. So I want to tell them, look,
no offense to the other people. I'm advanced when it
comes to this. Yeah, I just know I know how
to how to fix it and fix my thing on
my own end. But if it's not on my end,
it's on your end. Fix it. It's just it's it's
it's an hour process every single time, right, guys, hate it.
(05:54):
I hadn't always complaint about my apartment, and it's so
embarrassing what it was. So I told you, guys, I'm
obsessed with this phone game called Ruzzle. It's a word game.
You have to play it with the sound on because
that's how you know if you really got the word
or not. It makes this little like coin sound like
you're in Vegas. So I was up one night just
playing and playing and I got a slam on my wall.
(06:15):
Shut the fuck up. I was like, I got busted
playing russele late at night. I'm a loser. Oh my god, embarrassing.
It wasn't sex. I would have rather have been sex,
but nope, it was my loud How loud is I
think it's more of the thin walls than the loud
Ruzzle because I don't play it that loud. But I
immediately put my headphone in and just kind of like
(06:36):
curled up in my bed, like, oh this is terrible. Sorry. Wow,
if they can hear that, what else can they hear? Thoughts?
They're having sex and she sounds like a slot machine.
Which I've had this neighbor complaining against me like NonStop,
and she she will not quit. She continues to make
(06:57):
file complaints. And she lives below and she seems to
think that I have little children running around and the
furniture is being moved and I'm not even home. I
am driving my car. When I get these complaints from
the doorman up front, it's like, hey, are you home?
I said no. I said, in fact document that I'm
not home and it cannot be me. They said the ghost.
(07:19):
If they knew you, they'd know that any children near
home would be heavily sedated and they be banging on
the inside of the door to get out. Not exactly.
I actually got a sex noise complaint. I think I
told you about this. This was years ago in my
old apartment here in the city, and it was a
note left under my door from my neighbor. It said,
(07:39):
I took a picture of it and says, hello, this
is your neighbor in apartment five F. Would it be
possible for you to buy an area rug or a
new bedframe. The walls are extremely thin, and suffice to say,
I can hear everything. Much appreciated that. She never complained
I got an area rugs. She never said anything. What
kind of noises are you making when you're having sex?
(08:00):
I don't really, I don't think guys are supposed to
make noise. That's not sense. Nobody wants a silent there.
You say, are you awake. Are you allow me? What's
a yummy noise? You have to demonstrate? Yeah, that makes
some kind of noise. Don't be silent. That's yummy noises.
(08:21):
I love the idea that he ran out to this
store just to buy a rug, like I'm buying your
sex u. So, speaking of yummy noises, when Scary likes food,
he goes, oh, so good? Do you do that in bed?
Scary do you say, ah, so good? All right, that's
nastyatt it's nasty. I'm telling you guys about the weird
(08:47):
sounds at the hotel room the other night. So we're
sleeping and all of a sudden I hear snoring. So
first I thought it was my husband, and I'm like,
oh my gosh, he's so freaking loud. Then I got
up and I walked around. Nobody in the hotel room
that we were with was snoring, So now I'm thinking what.
Then it was the guy in the next room. He
was snoring so fucking loud that it was coming through
(09:10):
the wall. And then the next morning, Sheldon said, I
put my ear my headphones on because I thought it
was you making all that sound. I said, no, it
was the damn guy in the next room. I couldn't
sleep a damn wink all night because of him. Pieces
you know what, Well, he can't help you tell you
whoever he was hotails shouldn't have such paper thin walls.
(09:32):
I don't know. Also, you just said fun, but you
won't say ship. Well when I say ship, you know what,
I don't know Whateveranielle Scott is like the referee for cursing,
you know what. Speaking of Danielle, we got a bunch
(09:53):
of text messages today about Danielle. They said, how calm
she can watch Dr pimple Popper scored out pimples off,
but she doesn't like to look at mayonnaise because I haven't.
Isn't the stuff that comes out of pimple No, I
have to ingest mayo. It smell has that smell. No
has a smell getting I'm not getting that close. So
(10:17):
I'm not talking about this past. Did we just end
the podcast over? We don't even know if we were
on what's the difference. We're going to end it with
the smell of pus. Really, if you haven't watched any
pimple popping videos or so, it is just satisfaction. I
(10:41):
don't know why This is a disgusting way to end
our podcast. You gotta talk about something pleasant. We go
back to scary sex noises. Jesus The fifteen Minute Morning
(11:04):
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