July 8, 2025 • 52 mins
This week on “Shrink This!,” Lisa waxes poetic on the nuanced subject of apologies. After spiraling over a 19-year-old she may or may not have offended, she and Nick debate about saying “I’m sorry” waaaaaay too frequently. Then, Lisa makes the case that being “non-confrontational” is just a cute way of saying, “I’m a huge p*ssy!” Listen now unless you’re too busy apologizing for existing.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta and know it
all and her words come from her head, her heart,
and often out of her ass. This podcast should not
be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a
huge grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
You need help, You're the problems.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Come on, come down, go leab, take a pill. I
think you're insane.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Do what I said, dumb ass, Listen to me.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What are we here? I have no idea. It's Lisa lampin.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Got suck beckon suck back into world of entertainment. Welcome
to Shrink This with Lisa Lambinelli, the podcast that no
one cares about. And I'm not even sorry I'm here
with who introduce yourself?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
It's me. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
It's all right.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
You may wicked your ass off, you're late to the party,
but I love it. This is Nick scope Letti, my unpaid,
untalented sidekick, loser friend.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
And of course we're here with Celia the.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Much Belieguered, the much maligned producer who is put upon
and constantly changing your footwear because of my demands. So congratulations,
you've upped your game this week.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I appreciate who said talk.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
So to send us a letter. This is again a
podcast where we give advice. It might not be good good,
it might be a little good, it might be fully bad.
But to at least get your question on the air
or have a chance to send it to shrink this
show at gmail dot com. That is shrink this show
(02:15):
at gmail dot com. If you haven't listened to all
our other episodes, listen now. Not like we're not gonna
say the same shit we say every other time. Correct correct,
correct from the show. Yeah, oh it's doing so, it's
killing it. We've had four episodes and four downloads.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Not gonna breast.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Though, It's so true.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Now, Nick, our subject everywhere. I'm not apologizing for that.
I'm not because it is a human function to cough.
And I will say that is what our show is about.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
This episode.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
As you know, every episode, we take one issue that's
been plaguing me over the week and had letters from
people talking about and asking advice on, and we are
dissecting it to the best of our ability. So this
issue we're going to talk about today, I will set
up by saying I teach, as Nick knows, I teach
stand up and storytelling at a college in Connecticut.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Now these are not children.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I would say they are eighteen, nineteen twenty. The oldest
student's twenty six, but he's remedial. I know, disgusting. I
hate higher education for elders. Leave it to the kids.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
There are future.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
So anyway, I'm teaching class and there's one student. I
can't use his name obviously he's named after let's just
say a town in Texas, so let's call him Houston.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
He is. I had him last.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Semester, I have him this semester. He is literally my
favorite student, hands down. He probably is every teacher's favorite
student because he's very open. He's a great actor, he
has a good sense of humor run him, and he
can make fun of himself.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
So I all week.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
So I taught him last Thursday, and all week I
have been torturing myself because I'm like, oh, we were
pretty joky last week in class, and by we, I
mean he and I. But of course my jokes always
tend to be insulting, which is terrible, and I apologize,
but too bad. And I made a living so he
(04:28):
said something about wanting to work on a stand up
bit about being quote non athletic, and like, if you've
ever seen a kid who's non athletic, it's this kid.
He has a five inch thigh gap, he's like one
hundred and twenty pounds. So all we were joking about
non athleticism during the class. So I figured, oh, he
opened the door. So when someone else said about being
(04:49):
non athletic, I would just joke about Houston. I would
say to him, well, if you want to see a
real non athlete looking over further than this guy or
whatever it was, and he would laugh.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
So I'm leaving school that day.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I'm take the elevator down to the garage, and I'm like,
did I hurt his feelings?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Oh? My god, I hurt his feelings?
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Oh, I better? What do I do? What do I do?
I know what I'll do.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I'll overcompensate and I'll because I know it's like in
his best interest, because I feel when someone hurts your feelings,
you should tell them. So he's a kid, though, so
I figure, is it my job as a human to
apologize because he's younger than me? Or should I not interrupt?
(05:36):
His journey to adulthood by being like, he should bring
it up, So instead I didn't either. I overcomplimented him
in an email to try to make up for this
supposed error that I made. So I said him this
great email about how I loved having him class and
oh my god, I'm so proud of him and all
the growth he's had and never heard back. So I've
(05:58):
had six days of living neck aches, back aches, torture
about should I bring up to him, Hey, man, if
I hurt your feelings, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
But then the art of part of me is like, well,
isn't it his job? So I want to do an.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Episode today on whose job is it to apologize or
bring to someone's.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Attention that an apology is needed. I've had been.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
On the receiving end of a lot of codependency work
where they clearly state, you know, in twelve step programs,
it's that person's job to tell you what they need.
But is that harder for some people? What's the deal?
So I'm still, even at sixty three years old, kind
of going, oh, maybe I have to step in and
(06:45):
just kind of like take responsibility first, Have you had
this stuff happen to you, Nick.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
I mean, I'm pretty perfect. I've never oh yeah, done anything.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Wrong that is true.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Ever, I've had a little bit of it. I would
say I definitely get in modes where I know that
feeling when you're talking about like torturing yourself. Yeah, Like
if it would be like a conversation for me would
probably be like a conversation or something I said to
someone at work and like whatever. Then I would go
home and I'd be.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Like, ah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
And then you don't see him for a while, and
then you're.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Like yeah, and every time you see him there's a
perceived coldness, like you whether that's just our projection, Yeah,
it's like no, maybe they were just like not in
the mood to talk that day, but we take it
it's all self focused in making ourselves the center of
the world, because here I am thinking this kid gives
a shit about me for seven days and hasn't answered
(07:40):
my complimentary email back when he's just like a college
kid who's busy and.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Might not be hurt, right, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I remember, Yeah, I have a friend who's been sober
for got thirty something years, so he's worked a lot
of these codependency issues out and even he falls prey
to it. I remember, I was always joking I have
a third rescue dog named Pete, who's legitimately like, I mean,
as dumb as you get. So I was telling my buddy,
(08:08):
who's sober. I was telling him, Oh my god, this
dog is so dumb, but he's so adorable and so happy.
I got him like me, and yeah, kind of like
a little lap dog like you. So he sends me
this really funny meme of uh chihuahua, which PD is.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Sends me a meme.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Of a Chihuahua like very like bumping into a wall,
like very special needsy.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
So it was really funny, like it was just like
when my dog nd.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So I didn't see it because I didn't go on
Instagram for a little while. And I get a text
from him two days apparently after he sent it, and
he goes, listen, I just want to say, I know
we were joking about PD, but it was way out
of line for me to send you the meme where
I probably hurt your feelings about this dog thing.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
And I go, oh, I just didn't see it. So
even a guy who's worked.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
On themselves relentlessly for forty years thirty years, whatever it
is still falls prey to the oh my god, I
have to torture myself over this thing. And one basically
if that hurt my feelings, it's fine, it didn't, it
would be my job to say, hey, man, I know
we get around, but like if that's a little tender,
don't joke about that, right. But it's a really slippery slope.
(09:17):
So even the people have the most inside who are
the most you know, the people in your life who's
worked on themselves the most, even they fall prey to that.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Yeah, I have to like work if I'm upset about
something or in an argument with someone, I have to
like work to like I've worked out all It takes
like a few days. I'll work out all the scenarios
in my head and yeah, mad, And it's like this
person they fucked me.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
By like two days later you go up to and
I'm just like, hey, that my bad was this is
like in a bad mood, I'm sorry I said that, etcetera, etcetera.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Like it's just like and do they act like do
they even know what you're talking about?
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Sometimes yes, for sure, Like that there was one in
the in a actually yesterday at work, I was on
my phone. It's a girl but started talking to me
and I didn't hear because I was on my phone
and she's very pretty girl and she was like nick
and I was like what. She goes and she's like,
I was talking to you. I go, oh, it is
the first time a guy hasn't paid attention to you ever.
(10:14):
And I got real okay, and she goes, well, it's
that listens like it's that time of the month. I go,
you still get those I thought you were in And
I was like, okay, we got.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
A Your problem is your funny, That's the problem.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
And I fucking started and then literally she but she's cool,
thank god, And literally like three minutes later, I went
over her and I got to stand up, give me
a hugger. I'm really sorry.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Oh so your molested on top of it?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
See actually me to do it?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, affection.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
She was like, no, I'm just in a bet. We
both apologize to each other, but like it was in
three minutes.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
And I was like, it is best to kind of
just nip it in the.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Bud one hundred percent because I know that feeling of
like stewing and then your like you said, your body
starts to ache and ship.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Oh my god, everything hurts, and I'm like, oh, it's shocking.
I threw out my back and my neck because I'm
afraid a nineteen year old upset about me and probably
never read them.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
So I go like, ye constantly.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yeah, So I send him the thing, and but the
fact that then he ignores it because I'm like, well.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
The minute he writes back, I'll feel better.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So it's almost the universe telling me like, no, you
got to make this better within yourself. So either have
the balls to send a real email or talk to
him and say, hey, man, you know, I know we
get joking in class, but I feel I may have
been on the line and have him be an adult.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
And say it.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
But then, of course, from day to day, the next day,
it's like, listen, man, fuck that kid. Let me tell
you something. First of all, answer a teacher when they
send you an email. Second of all, how about you
don't be a pussy and you say excuse me.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Miss so?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
And so that hurt my feelings because that's obviously the
most respectable way to act, right, and then I go by.
Of course, the fourth day, I'm like just spinning and
then yesterday I knew I was going to see him,
and I said, you know what, I'm going to show
up early, and I'm going to say can I speak
to you?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And I'm going to be the adult idiot.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Even though it's codependent, and say, gosh, Houston, I really
hope I didn't hurt your feelings last week.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That would really, you know, that would be terrible for
me to do. So are you okay?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
So instead what happens is I don't get there early.
I self sabotage that move because, oh god forbid, you
don't drive through a place and get your big diet coke.
And then he came a little.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Late to class.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
I'm like, damn it, and I figure, I know, we'll
walk to our carns together and I'll sus it out.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
I'll suss out the situation. I go down, I'm so,
how is your week great?
Speaker 3 (12:46):
And he goes, you know, I got your email congratulating
me about at school. I just didn't know what to say,
so I just ignored it and I was and I go, no,
that's fine. I go, you can usually just say thank you,
I said, or ignore it is fine, and goes, well,
I just didn't know what to say. I'm uncomfortable with compliments,
so I'm thinking I worried a week that I was This.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Kid was mad that I was mean to him.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Apparently he doesn't like compliments either, So you can't win
with this fucking kid.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I think what we're saying is this fuck I hate
him right now. But yeah, it's like it's such.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
A slippery slope of like knowing what's right. Like that
whole thing in codependency where they talk about no is
a complete sentence.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
So basically, suppose.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
My idiot I don't have idiot friends like this, but
supposed like, oh no, no, no, I mean idiot friends
like this who want you to go on a trip
with them and you just don't want to go.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
In codependency work, you just have to say no. You
don't have to say no.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
I don't want to know that timing isn't right for me. No,
it doesn't sound like my thing. People should be able.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
To accept a no.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
And as old as I am and as much as
I work on myself, I don't think I've ever been
able to leave it at a no. It's too hard.
So those things about not apologizing even though you think
you hurt so many feelings are just being blunt and
saying nope. That is almost impossible. You know, I had
to turn down. I got invited to a wedding in
(14:16):
the summer, and I don't want to go because it's
too far. There's a lot of plane transfers. I'm trying
to cut down on activity this year. I'm just trying
to be a lot more mindful of what I say
yes to. And I had to be super careful how
I worded the reply to the invitation, because I was like,
I want to just go nope, but that's not how
you keep friends either.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And do I owe them an explanation?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Not really, but they at least deserve a no. I
wish I could attend, However, this doesn't work for me.
Can't wait to celebrate with you in person, but it's
hard to just leave it at these blunt rules that
we know are correct.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Thumbs down emoji in there. You both should get, really
one gift of the guy from Gladiator just going o cauld.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I just send them like a egg plant all the time. Well,
I know, and poop an eggplant and a poop.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Egg plant, poop rainbow what else? That's really a water
emoji sometimes well.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Ps, wait, I just started ignoring you and I'm not apologizing.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
What what would you rather be?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Err on the side of the person who anticipates, hey,
I'm countable to myself and I may owe them an apology,
or the person who's like, well, it's up to them, Like,
who would you rather be?
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I think it really it so depends on the situation,
But I would say I would probably be the person
who would be Now, I would be the person and
more likely to be like, hey, I'm sorry and apologize
and just make it all good, even if I still
have a little bit of like, you know, you were
fucking wrong there, but I'll still I would rather do
that because I used to do be the opposite way.
(15:58):
Just hold grudges and I can hold them.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
But but but, but that's not what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
I'm not saying it's a grudge to hold on to
that fear that they are withholding some kind of there's
a little nick in the friendship, a little like it's
a little scar that kind of like they're letting fester.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Yeah. No, I would be more likely to apologize and
bring it up now back in the day.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I know, why aren't they all just fucking man up.
Why aren't they all woman up? Tit up? Dick up.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I was like, I honestly wish it was a perfect
world that everyone could just say, hey, man, that hurt
my feelings.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
It's the best.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Because I I recently did that to somebody. I think
it really threw them off. Like people are not used
to people just going, hey, you know that kind of hurt.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Oh, I'm sorry, you're mad? I go, no, I'm not mad.
It just hurt. Yeah, and they don't don't know what
to do with it. But that's hard to say too.
That's vulnerable saying I'm hurt versus I'm mad.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Yea too is people are like, oh, I could say
things and joke around with her and blah blah blah,
and so they get excited to do it.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah yeah, not really no place. What's up?
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Cut?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Actually actually not anymore.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
I mean, if you want to see it all come out, yeah,
I went, I did it. Sorry, not sorry recently because somebody.
It was in class one day, my adult stand up class,
and I don't God bless them, but there was this
one woman and she was really pushing back on advice
and I'm like, well, why are you paying for the class?
(17:45):
And then I said, look, after like twelve pushbacks, I said,
you know what, honestly, if this doesn't work for you, maybe.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
This isn't the class for you. And then I go sorry,
and then I go, wait a minute, I'm not sorry.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
I go I think what I just that you was perfect?
So I take my sorry back.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
And then Lisa was like, you should kill yourself lady.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, yeah, how dare you? Nick? Suicide is a big,
bad topic.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
So if you have a question for us right to
shrink this show at gmail dot com?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
That shrink this show at gmail dot com?
Speaker 3 (18:20):
And Nick, do you have some letters for people who
are apologetically douches?
Speaker 4 (18:25):
They're big? Does I hate.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Them all already? Oh my god?
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Okay, all right, so Lisa, I love you so much.
My name's Andrew. I'm writing from Denver, Colorado.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Rocky, fuck you.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
I've been overthinking this situation with my coworker. I think
I might have upset her during a meeting last week
when I disagreed with her about a plan for a rollout.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Skinny's very technically, it's a lot of business.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Yeah, the our didn't business? Spread cheek, spread your cheeks?
She hasn't said anything to me about it, but she
has also been seemingly avoiding me. Ah, bring it up
and risk making it weird, or just assume she's fine.
I hate leaving things unresolved, but maybe I'm just making
(19:19):
it worse by obsessing over it.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yeah, this guy's between a rock and hard place. Nick,
let me see that letter in person. Walk that thing
over here. No, I want to come on and look
at those thighs rubbing together.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Listen this guy. First of all, I love.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
That he at least calls himself out on his overthinking
because I was obsessing about this stuff too. I get it,
and he is making it worse by obsessing over it.
Like literally, in my situation last week, it could have
been like, Okay, you know what you're gonna say, You're
gonna apologize on Thursday, and let's move on with our life.
But of course that doesn't happen. So I get where
(19:59):
he's coming from. This whole thing about she's seemingly avoiding me, Like,
but is she.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Like in your head?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I know so much of this is just imagined. I
used to have a notebook that on the cover it
said list of imagined slights, so meaning like, what do
people say that they actually didn't mean anything? But I'm
going to keep a list and keep it tally of
who's the asshole.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
And I hate them? Okay, So I don't know with him,
I think honestly, if the price of keeping it inside
is more than the price of asking, you got to
figure out.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Which gives you less pain exactly. So you're overthinking, you're obsessing.
Do we morally know that it's her job to come
up to you and say, hey, man, that was kind
of bad. I wish we could talk about it. Sure,
But if it's going to ruin your week and you're
not emotionally there have done the work to get emotionally
out of that habit, then just go up to her
(21:00):
and be like, hey, can we talk about what happened
in the meeting last week?
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yeah? I would say that, go up to her, address it,
get it out in the open. Also to my question
would be what is his relationship with her besides work?
Like is it like a friend? Does he really care
about her? Does he have to work with her a ton?
Does she have power over him? Like? What's the dynamic? Like?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
So much is not being unsaid.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Yeah, it's just like I don't know, like I think
Belie is right, like, just go and address it. See
where you're at. Oh, it's just a close friend or
something like. What's I don't know the dynamic here.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I just think I live in a fantasy world of
going wow, I wish they I think if all people
just went up to each other, that would be great,
but they're not gonna. And the tenseness and that whole
tension around the office. Oh and then just go in
every day and be like, oh God, does she hate me?
And is that our problem?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah? Yeah, it is. Our problem is giving a shit
if people hate us?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
When he clearly probably did nothing wrong, like he disagreed
with her for a plan for a rollout spreadsheet, PowerPoint
whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
What is the rollout about?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Can you right back to us, Andrew and tell us
what in Denver, Colorado are you rolling out?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Other than joints. That's all they do, is they smoke
the pot.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Because when I was the last time I played in
Denver before my retirement, I remember I said, I was
on stage, I said, could the lights go up please?
And of course the big pothead who was running the
lights of the theater was outside smoking a dube and
I said, denver to me, So you know, when Andrew
just die and go smoke the pot next letter?
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Fuck you? All right? So, dear Lisa, in the past year,
I've lost twenty five pounds. Yoh, bet, talk about to
find gravity. Oh, I feel much better about myself. Last
week I saw an at that I'm not crazy about.
H We've all been there and.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Not with a capital C. No fist bumps, no shocks.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Hell yeah. And she told me how much better I look,
and that she couldn't believe how big I allowed myself
to gets.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
She has. I thought I apologized about this already.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
But.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Oh my god, I feel like that was way out
of line. But I don't think she has any idea,
which she doesn't.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
No, she does not.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Should I call her and ask for an apology and
explain why I'm hurt. I'm not a confrontational person, so
what the fuck do I do about it?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (23:32):
I was with her till the not confrontational part. I
so object strongly to the I'm not confrontational, which means
you need to grow the fuck up and if something
bothers you or hurt you, say something that is just
giving yourself the chance to build tons and years of
(23:54):
resentment and be angry internally and hold on to all
of it instead of everything. Isn't a confrontation. It's just
a discussion. It's just a conversation. So if I I
remember once I was meeting with you and Andrew and
Bow that, these guys that we ostensibly write with every week,
(24:14):
and I remember I was like, I'm mad at Bo,
And I said to you and Andrew, wait in your
cars because I got to talk to him about something.
And I'm like, there should be no fear about bringing up, hey, Bo,
what you did. I didn't like, let's talk about it.
Obviously you didn't do it in front of you guys,
And they just told you guys about it later and
we all laughed. But that's not confrontational. There's not two
(24:37):
types of people, those of us who don't like confrontation
and then co opt everybody to tack of our feelings
where we resent them, or people who just bull in
a China shop going and be like, look, motherfucker. Like
there's that in between ground of just going hey, aunt,
let's make it aunt Lisa, because that sounds like something
I would have said years ago, like now I know better.
(25:00):
Now I know like no, because also, like you know
who says less weight equals more attractive, Like it's just
like fat phobia.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
It's just bullshit. So how about you say you.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Look great, how you feel in whatever? So anyway, years ago,
I would have definitely been like, dude, you fucking let
yourself go?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
What the fuck? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Man, they hung those kids fit hang like if that
was me and some and also these aunts though are formidable,
Like there is a certain fear level of some of
these elder relatives because you're like, oh my god, she's
gonna yell at me, she's gonna be mad at me.
I often wonder I'm the Peppa person if I hurt
(25:43):
someone's feelings, I'm formidable. So I don't know. If they
would tell me they'd be afraid, I'd be like, ah,
fuck you, And I honestly wouldn't. I wouldn't start crying
white girl tears of like and make it about me.
I'd be like, oh man, I'm really sorry that hurt
you know how like white women always have to cry
about It's like how to just switch to your issue now?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Now I have to feel sorry for you.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
So if that was me, I would love if Denise
could come up to me and say, gosh, I'm not
usually comfortable with conversations like this. I fear confrontation, but.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
You hurt my feelings.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
When you said I looked terrible before or whatever the
verbiage was, I'd be like, oh my god, I didn't
intend that. I'm so sorry. That would be so mature
and great. But if you're going to write your story
is I'm not confrontational. You'll never have a confrontation, you'll
never have an equal friendship, you'll never have an equal marriage,
and you'll just be a doormat. That is my feelings,
(26:39):
and I'm right. So you know what, go eat yourself
to death.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Sacramento Mallory.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
That was the name. I forgot to read it.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I love that. I what do you think? I mean?
The aunt?
Speaker 3 (26:51):
What the aunt did was inarguably wrong. What we know
what the aunt did was in arguably.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
I I have. It's weird because I with my family,
I have the hardest boundaries of all time. Like if
they say shit or anything, that's gonna interfere. But like
I will for a sports reference, I'll stiff arm those fuckers.
To the ground, get away from me.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
We only have women and gay men listening to this.
So I hope you're happy.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
I hope you're happy now that.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
But at the same time, like I understand it, it's like,
what's it gonna you know when you say, even aunt,
you're not crazy of Maybe you apologize and it makes
your guys relationship better. That's true. It could maybe you
apologize and she's like, oh, what are you want of
those liberals?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Fatties are good too, chicks? How does she turn into
Jennifer Cooler?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
But I mean also too, like if it's an aunt,
that's like, say, this is a grown woman, I would
assume so her aunts like in her seventies.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
They're not gonna know. Sometimes you just got to the
old people that.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Pass him benefit of the doubt, man, Like at some
point it's like, are you gonna call up your seventy
five year old great aunt and be like, you know
what you said? Just let them.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
I remember years ago when my mother said to me,
my mother would always joke around about how lousy my
boyfriends were.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Yeah, and it was like hurt my feeling says, it's
clearly this is years.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Ago, like before I dated somebody decent, and I clearly
picked badly and she was worried. But every time she
said it, I'd feel worse about the choice I made.
And that sounds like what's going on with Mallory because
she feels bad that she she knows internally she didn't
like herself at the other weighth and it makes her
(28:45):
feel like shit. I did let myself go, and I
wish I hadn't. I was like, I wish I hadn't
dated those kind of guys. It just reminds you of
your past and how it was ugly. So I remember
saying to my mother. I just said one day, I said,
you know, I really wish you wouldn't bring up guys.
It makes me I can't believe I said it, because
talk about formidable, like you think I'm tough. My mother,
(29:06):
would you send it in shut up bah blah, but
she would. I said that you gotta stop, I go.
I don't like that, I said, I don't date guys
like that anymore. So it makes me feel bad that
you say that. Yeah, and she never did it again.
There's something about even tough women like me and her
(29:27):
that you tell us and we fucking remember. So those
non confrontational people. I mean, it'd be great if you
could stop writing the story of like you're the victim
and don't like to come from people. It's just like
educate us instead in what hurts. Like if you said
to me, even though we joke a lot, if you said,
(29:47):
you know, I know my mom died when I was six,
and I joke about it, but you know, if you
joke about it, it hurts, I'd be like, oh shit, like
I would never forget that again. I would it would
never happen again like.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
That, Like again, the intent like like you and your
mother are like like she was just saying it to
be like having fun and joking around. Yeah, and that's
the same thing with you. Like everything you said. That's
why none of us, like Bo and Andrew and all
of us, like, none of us take it because we're
like this is fun, like this means right whatever, But yeah,
(30:20):
the intention is never to hurt someone, like you know,
someone like your mother was like, like you said, you
told her once you are I'll never forget I love you,
and you're like, please don't say that, and she was
like good, all right, cool.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
And I think it's like being an adult means having
those hard conversations. So I think the more this girl grows,
she'll be like, well, you're not either yes, confrontational or
not at all. You're somewhere in between of like educating
people how to treat you.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
That's all it is. And then if the aunt's still
a cunt, you just write her off or you say,
well you know what, Yeah, I guess I can't trust
you with my feelings anymore.
Speaker 4 (30:57):
Yeah, we're just like, you know, put a little, don't
salt the steps next time it snows.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
I love that an old people injury fully advocates that.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Got one more, We got one more. Oh my god,
I better like them better than that fat hole.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
See this is James from Manitoba.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Oh my god, Canadia, Canada. I love them so.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Dear Lisa, my wife has brought to my attention that
I apologize too much.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Oh god, I hate that type of part. Sorry Celia.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
That Celia, even men do it supposedly straight like this.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
Do I reach for the thing? Says something?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Well, then I think that that man needs to be
my husband's. Then we apologize to each other, Oh.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
My god, and you would be the couple no one
wants around exactly, No, I'm sorry codependent.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
So my wife brought to my attendency. I apologize too much,
she says. We'll be out to dinner, and if the
waiter comes over and I'm not ready to order, I'll
say sorry four or five times, and then it makes
the person uncomfort. I feel like people don't apologize enough.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Oh god, so he's overcompensating for they are so nice
a different breed, Nick, That's the only place I ever
played where in an autograph line they're like, thank you,
miss Lampinelly, thank you miss lamps and ps. Then I
instituted that elsewhere. I said, it is not.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Lease, it's miss Lampinelly.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
You say.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Sat face and said, how did you let yourself go
your fat hunt?
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Go ahead?
Speaker 4 (32:34):
He says he feels like people don't apologize enough that
it's appreciated no matter how many times I say it.
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Because it becomes meaningless as fuck. All the I'm sorries
they add up to one big Hi.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
I'm a people pleaser. HI like me, like me, like me,
like me, like me? If you're not, I get saying
once to the you know what?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Actually, I get saying it to the waiter if they've
come back like three times in a half hour and
you're like, oh, I'm sorry, we're you know, we talk
a lot. There's this one restaurant that me and my
friend go to in Madison, Connecticut, beautiful rich people town. No,
when we go there once every couple of weeks and
have dinner for five hours, they know that they know
(33:16):
now not to even ask us what we want until
an hour in because they know we're not even gonna
have looked at the menu yet. But if you're not
in a place where they know that and they're coming
back and just trying to do their job, I get
after like the third time, being like, oh, I'm sorry, man,
we're a little different. We talk a lot first, and
we'll give.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
You a signal. But the weird people pleasy, manipulative, I'm sorry,
is just sound a little cloying, and they lose meaning.
I don't either.
Speaker 4 (33:47):
I mean, honestly, it's like when a woman does it, I'm.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Like, it's low self esteeming.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
It's not great. When a guy does it, I really
hate ith.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah, Well, because women, we can almost underst stand it.
How you know, with the patriarchy, we've been conditioned to
be apologetic in general, but shut up such a non
bro and so we kind of get it.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
But with men, you go, hmmm, wow, that poor guy.
Let's see what's inside that vault.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Yeah. Yeah, if I could put a little just like
a little bow on it. This is something I think
about all the time since I've met Lisa. So since
I met you, of you've been very upfront about your
emotions and been very direct and things like that. And
you know, I've been at therapy and worked on myself
and I've found that it in a way, and I
(34:39):
know these people are in their heads and they're overthinking things,
but being more direct just overall for me in any regard,
whether it's apologizing or anything else, has made me feel
more relaxed and freer than probably in my life.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
So that that was one thing that just came to
me that I was like, I need to say this,
because that was I would have avoided everything at all
costs or been like it's there. Yeah, I'm just guarding
the shit out of my emotions all day. So I
think being direct about it and just being honest about
your feelings, no matter what the situation, no matter who
it's with there are situations, maybe like with the old aunt,
(35:12):
you're like whatever, she's eighty, Yeah, she'll it's fine, right,
I get it. But I think overall being able to
address it and apologize and being okay with the outcome
of it too, because I think a lot of it
and tell me if I'm wrong, But I think a
lot of it comes with like wanting to be liked.
Oh yeah, and like I want I want to know
(35:34):
everything's okay, right, everyone, we're cool. Yeah, And it's once
you stop caring about that. I mean, you're not walking
around being an asshole to people, right, but you're just
being direct and relaying your emotions and to me, I
know personally, it's been super freeing and been very relaxing,
and I haven't had those freak out moments of holding
on to stuff as much.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
And I think to the people, first of all, I'm
that landed for me that I've changed your life and
you're you would have died without me, So thank you,
thank you for saying that.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I'm not sorry.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
No, the whole thing about wanting to be liked is
such a manipulative thing because like, and again this is
not saying, oh why you know, the waiter's meaningless, he's not,
but like, why do you care so much if he
likes you? Clearly that's childhood stuff. Clearly it's like mommy
and daddy have to like me. Now everybody has to
(36:23):
like you know what I mean, So we get it.
It's all deep internal work. But it's manipulating the world
to make you feel better. And sometimes it's sitting with
the uncomfortable stuff like oh my god, he's coming in
for the third time. I can't put myself beneath him
by apologizing. I have no growth if I'm not uncomfortable,
because no growth comes without discomfort.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
I mean the few weeks ago that I told someone
they hurt my feelings.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
She's definitely pulled back. Yeah, And I'm like, I've noticed.
I've noticed the lack of the texts or the very
brief texts and the little time, as we say in
the psychology business Day, counter less contact. And I'm like, interesting,
So even sometimes doing the right thing of saying that
(37:12):
hurt my feelings will make that wrong.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Person pull back.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
So if people pleasing was my intention, it sure didn't work.
So I think it's just that truthfulness. I don't think
you can go wrong with the truth. Obviously not harsh
and saying shitty things like but saying that hurt. Yeah,
we land on the right person right.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
One of the things I think about all the time is,
and this is like a few years ago, when we
would go to the diner and if we were sitting
in a certain area and if there was a table
that was being really loud, yeah or whatever, and you
were like, let's move, we need to sit here. Yeah,
wasn't me or me I'm like at that time, I
was like no, no, no. I was like, no, we could
just stay. It's fine, they'll probably be leaving soon.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
Well I would do that.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Of course, because we're not being like it's worse to
sit and give them a bad energy of like looking
at them because they're loud, or like shushing them or.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
And what we didn't even get up in a huff.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
I was like, hey, man, why don't we go over there?
It's cool and it's just taking care of you first.
Maybe that's the whole point. Yeah, what would make you
feel best to do in the moment of Oh, I
could either apologize or I could hold this thing in
because I know it's better for that person's growth. Whatever
makes you feel better, but understand they're not going to
(38:29):
grow if you keep caretaking.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Yeah, I would on the side of just get it
out there. I mean, if you're just being sincere and
just having a conversation with someone, if they can't handle it.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Then I mean, have you ever apologized for something in
the person has absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
It is the best because you realize what an idiot
you were.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
For overthinking at I remember, okay, years ago, I okay,
when I was like thirteen, I got a pair of tap.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Shoes for like some show amazing.
Speaker 3 (38:58):
And my dad I don't even know why, because we
joked around a lot, but he's a soft spoken guy.
I took the tap shoe and I like hit him
on the arm with it, like just spink and I
didn't think it would hurt, and he goes ow like,
I guess it really hit the wrong spot. Thirty fucking
years in therapy, I was always somehow came around to
(39:20):
I feel terrible. Oh my god, I hurt my father.
I heard him physically.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Oh my god, what do I do?
Speaker 3 (39:25):
And once Trigg finally goes to me, why don't you
just like apologize like, well, what a novel I did.
I go up to my dad. I'm like forty something
years old, and I go, Dad, I've been torturing myself
about this. I'm really sorry. When I was thirteen, I
hit you with a tap shoe in the arm and
he goes, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (39:43):
And I go.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
At the time, yeah, no, seventy something like I hit
you in the arm and you went out and he goes,
I don't remember that, And honestly, at his funeral, part
of the eulogy was, my dad did not hold on
to those things.
Speaker 4 (39:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
My dad was like always he would hold on to
the good and then the bad kind of like it
was like whatever, yeah, so it hurt me more to.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Hold on to it. So all I can say is,
go hit an elderly person in the arm.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
We're right now to me, I know on the street,
Say you're sorry.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Fell.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Our third segment is always leased as fuck up of
the week. You would think I fucked up enough that
I tortured a small child in one of my classes
and made fun of him and then never apologized and
kind of skirted the issue. But this actually isn't a
fuck up that I did this week. I was just
thinking of other times I've had sorry moments, but this one.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I absolutely felt bad about.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
So I was in the city a few months ago
and I was going to see a much lauded Broadway show,
something that in arguably has great reviews. Because I read
the New York Times. Mister, I know what's going on
on the bads. I follow everything going on in the
Great White Way, and I said, hot diggity, I'm going
to see l So I went to see Elf, and
(41:02):
I was online at the Hershey store, because god forbid,
I would kill time outside waiting in a line.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
What am I a farmer?
Speaker 3 (41:09):
So I was killing time with my little friend Trevor,
who's twelve, and I treat to these things so we'll
take cold care of me when I'm elderly. And I
was online and a woman why, she said.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
What are you going to see?
Speaker 3 (41:21):
As New Yorkers do? And I said, why am I
going to see Elf? And she goes, oh, I heard
it's great, and I said yes, And of course I
have to be like braggy, So I was like, yes,
I saw the original production on Broadway five years ago
and it was so good, and I just can't wait
for this new one, and we're going backstage and there
(41:42):
at the time was a show on Broadway and I
will mention its name because I don't care because it's
long gone that god possibly the worst reviews in years,
and it was called Tammy Faye the Musical and it
was written by Elton John and it certainly answered the
question is he going down and blind? Because it was
(42:02):
just much milind terrible, terrible show, inarguably the worst show
in many years. So I said to her, what are
you going to see? And she said Tammy Faye and
I literally couldn't hide it. I just go, oh, I'm sorry,
Like it wasn't even a thought. I just go sorry,
And then the look on her face and I go,
(42:25):
but no, no, I know it's got terrible reviews, but
we just go to see everything. And she points out
her other yen to friend and she goes see everything
with and I hated them instantly, because you have somebody
to go see everything.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
With it, I don't Joe, And I said, I'm not sorry.
I hope you have a terrible day. Hot diggity dew.
We're going to see Elf. But the sorry, I blurted out,
I like later on.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
I was like, did I make her feel bad for
making this choice? Well, if you're so stupid that you're
gonna go see something that the reviews are out there, lady,
I'm not the one who's hurting your feelings that much.
But I did feel it was a bit of a
fuck up on my behalf, maybe a little bit well
(43:10):
because it was blurdy. It wasn't thought. It wasn't like,
let me think of how to make fun of her.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
It was like, sorry, Yeah, is seeing Tammy Fay on
Broadway like the equivalent of someone who's like, oh my god,
I watched The Housewives on TV?
Speaker 3 (43:22):
No because it was No, because I hate reality TV.
I think it's just dumbed down America a lot and
giving us a license to be disgusting.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
Yeah, but no.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
It's like seeing a very badly reviewed movie but paying
about five times the amount, you know.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
What I mean. I didn't know if that's the version
of like, I know plenty of very smart, cool people
who are like, well, the Housewives are like mine, that's
my dumb show I like to watch. No.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Yeah, so it's not a guilty pleasure show. No, it
was going It was supposed to be something that was
a huge hit. They they shot for excellent and got
dog shit emoji with like the egg play and stuck
in it so that they had dick in an ass shit.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yeah I should have said that to her.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
Oh my god, I heard it's like an eggplant dick
in an ass shit. I think I was a nice right,
So I think with that one I didn't torture myself
as much because it was involuntary. If it's like someone, oh,
like when you step on someone's or when somebody steps
on your foot and you say sorry, like we've all
done that. Yeah, it's almost involuntary. We know it's not right.
(44:27):
Why am I apologizing for being stepped on? But it's
still okay, Like we blurt things all the time, it's fine.
I think the look on my face was just like, oh,
I fucked up, but I'm sure it'll be into No,
I know it's gonna suck.
Speaker 4 (44:41):
Or maybe that Lady show, God, there it goes.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Or she said I don't know what that blue hair
cut was talking about. This was great, but I have
a thing too, where like if she came out of
that show and said that I couldn't like her, I'm
(45:09):
really prejudiced.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
When it comes to bad taste.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
I'm not saying I have the greatest taste, but I
at least know sort of a bar like I'll forgive.
I have two friends who are really into reality TV.
They know better than to discuss it with me. They
know I'm disgusted by it. I don't think it's good
for the world or the country. I think it's terrible.
It teaches people to behave badly. If the housewime's getting
away with it, so can I.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
It's not harmless, so they don't not to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
But we have a taste level that's similar. So they
never will mention a horribly bad movie and I have
to hate them. We have a friend BO who sometimes
he'll mention a horribly bad movie and I'm like, I
kind of have to hate you a little, not enough
to break up the friendship, but I don't have you
to do.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
You have no discernment. Do you have no taste at all?
Speaker 3 (45:59):
That's why there's some shit I will not tell my
friends to watch because if they don't like it, they're
dead to me.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
Yeah, I was actually told Bo to watch a few movies,
and they'll text me back like this kind of sucks. Yeah,
he's and the movie is like one of the ones
that I love and tell me it's okay an interview
with a vampire.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 4 (46:18):
I was watching is like, this is ridiculous. Of course
it's ridicuos. It's a fantasy jump and vampires in the
eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
Yeah, it wasn't supposed they weren't going for realism.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Yeah, so weird.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I would have hated her more,
and she would have deserved not just a sorry, but like.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
A big slap.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
You're like a stabbing.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Yeah, and I'd be like we were elf, I'm gonna
kill you.
Speaker 4 (46:43):
Now, right, bring Faye back, dude, No.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
Oh my god, I just okay.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
So we were all in agreement that yeah, on the
cunt scale of the zero to cunt, it was maybe
a little cringe, but full blown count would have been like, sorry,
you're going to see that piece of shit and then
do like a.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Bunch of roast jokes about it. That wouldn't have been good.
Speaker 4 (47:06):
See, I've had the benefit of having you as a friend,
so like everything I've gone to see I know is
going to be good.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Yeah, you have no choice, but like, now there's.
Speaker 4 (47:14):
A part of me that's like I want to see
what bad looks like.
Speaker 3 (47:17):
I don't think you do, really, because especially for that
kind of money.
Speaker 4 (47:21):
Well yeah, well I would have to be like a
you know, a lottery ticket or.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Some shit like yeah, yeah, we'll tell you some badly
reviewed stuff and you can go bad it not even
a snobby thing because my taste level. Hey, I don't
understand opera, I don't understand jazz. Like there's a lot
of things I'm not smart enough to get right, but
I just know it's never I always have two friends
who are in the entertainment business that I'll call when
(47:46):
I don't like either a TV show or a play,
and I'll go, no, these guys are smart, And I'll go,
why do I hate such and such? And I'll name
the movie or whatever, and they go, oh, because you
don't like dot dot dot, or they'll say because it's
just inarguably shitty. So I don't have the taste level
they have. But I also kind of think I have
(48:06):
some discernment, Like it's like when you know you're not gorgeous,
but you know what ugly is, like, you know, like
my father always is the women he idolized he thought,
And of course they're probably the two most beautiful women
who ever lived, Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly. So I
(48:27):
never looked like either, but boy did I know that?
They sure look better than most. So I can judge
that without being that. You know, like my off Broadway
show could have closed early, gotten a bad review.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
Whatever.
Speaker 3 (48:42):
Just because I can't make it doesn't mean I don't
know it when I see it. Yes, sissy, anybody got
down for that?
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Sorry I'm from New Orleans. Still sorry, I am none. Yeah.
I hate when people do that too.
Speaker 3 (49:02):
We have to do an episode on people who are
way over identify with like saying things correctly, Like they'll
be like van go instead of ango, or they'll be
like no, it's like that was in that movie Manhattan.
That would yell a movie and she's the pretentious ladies
going van and like no, I have to instantly hate
(49:23):
you or they uh tell you? How would you say
New Orleans if you're from there?
Speaker 4 (49:29):
New Orleans?
Speaker 2 (49:30):
No, Well you're a human. But don't they go nolensled? Yeah?
Do they do that? Wh White people do that?
Speaker 4 (49:37):
I mean, like weird people do it.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
I think it's like, let the black people say it
the way they want because like their Cajun and they
bucking all are a loud, but stop being white and
trying to say things like that.
Speaker 2 (49:49):
Yeah, I don't like yelling.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
That, doing that, saying that we better not or else
get switch. You owe us an apology.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Never.
Speaker 4 (49:58):
My grandmother, who is Fromans, used to go to New
Orleans all the time and she would call it New
Orleans like she would pronounce every I like that she's
been Orleans. I love it there.
Speaker 3 (50:09):
And I'm like that's but you know what, else's kind
of dopes as Italians because and beat the guy at
the restaurant. The diner isn't going to know just a
manicotti or pointed it, like stop showing off your dumb knowledge.
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Like I don't like all that.
Speaker 4 (50:28):
Yeah, I feel weird at a restaurant. There's like I always
go Ricotta. I'm like, we're good.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
Yeah, my sister, My sister always goes you want some MutS?
Speaker 2 (50:40):
I like the soprano Italian where it's just.
Speaker 4 (50:43):
Like you go the loops, you want some mutsuts.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yeah, we gotta go.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
We're getting that signal from our boss Celia saying wrap
that shut up, you two girls, I've been going on
too long, God damn, and I tried.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
To rest you and look what happens after this? Well,
this has been great. I don't feel sorry at all to.
Speaker 3 (51:07):
Anyone right now. We're hopefully you've learned a little something.
Please tune in once again to shrink this.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
But Lisa Allie I can be found and Lisa Lampelli
on maybe one or two socials I don't know and
I don't care. And nick can be found somewhere.
Speaker 4 (51:26):
Where Nicky wash that's right? What what? What? You don't?
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Please?
Speaker 3 (51:36):
Everyone make sure to follow us and listen to us
on where she always rights out what we have to say.
And I feel a bit resentful that I have to
promote an app that I don't even have.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
Yeah, just kidding, of course, I haven't wait.
Speaker 3 (51:52):
I'm pulling up on my phone, booder.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Oh, it hung up on me I Heart Radio app?
Where are you? No?
Speaker 3 (52:01):
Make sure to listen read the last line because Celia's
gets in trouble if we don't.
Speaker 4 (52:05):
Yeah, you can listen on your iHeart Radio app or
wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
Well you think i'd be able to get my head
around saying that I just can't promote something.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
I just feel like being used.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
I feel like all the hell they've given us, all
the free studio space and the half assed engineer we.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Have almostank abuse. This is elder abuse. I think he's
talking to me. No, thank you for listening to shrink this.
Speaker 3 (52:41):
Listen to us, like we said on your iHeart app,
iHeart Radio app.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
Goddamn it, wherever, get your podcast.
Speaker 3 (52:49):
God bless see you next week or whatever
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta and know it
all and her words come from her head, her heart,
and often out of her ass. This podcast should not
be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a
huge grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
You need help, You're the problems.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Come on, come down, go leab, take a pill. I
think you're insane.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Do what I said, dumb ass, Listen to me.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What are we here? I have no idea. It's Lisa lampin.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Got suck beckon suck back into world of entertainment. Welcome
to Shrink This with Lisa Lambinelli, the podcast that no
one cares about. And I'm not even sorry I'm here
with who introduce yourself?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
It's me. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
It's all right.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
You may wicked your ass off, you're late to the party,
but I love it. This is Nick scope Letti, my unpaid,
untalented sidekick, loser friend.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
And of course we're here with Celia the.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Much Belieguered, the much maligned producer who is put upon
and constantly changing your footwear because of my demands. So congratulations,
you've upped your game this week.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
I appreciate who said talk.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
So to send us a letter. This is again a
podcast where we give advice. It might not be good good,
it might be a little good, it might be fully bad.
But to at least get your question on the air
or have a chance to send it to shrink this
show at gmail dot com. That is shrink this show
(02:15):
at gmail dot com. If you haven't listened to all
our other episodes, listen now. Not like we're not gonna
say the same shit we say every other time. Correct correct,
correct from the show. Yeah, oh it's doing so, it's
killing it. We've had four episodes and four downloads.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Not gonna breast.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Though, It's so true.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Now, Nick, our subject everywhere. I'm not apologizing for that.
I'm not because it is a human function to cough.
And I will say that is what our show is about.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
This episode.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
As you know, every episode, we take one issue that's
been plaguing me over the week and had letters from
people talking about and asking advice on, and we are
dissecting it to the best of our ability. So this
issue we're going to talk about today, I will set
up by saying I teach, as Nick knows, I teach
stand up and storytelling at a college in Connecticut.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Now these are not children.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I would say they are eighteen, nineteen twenty. The oldest
student's twenty six, but he's remedial. I know, disgusting. I
hate higher education for elders. Leave it to the kids.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
There are future.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
So anyway, I'm teaching class and there's one student. I
can't use his name obviously he's named after let's just
say a town in Texas, so let's call him Houston.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
He is. I had him last.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Semester, I have him this semester. He is literally my
favorite student, hands down. He probably is every teacher's favorite
student because he's very open. He's a great actor, he
has a good sense of humor run him, and he
can make fun of himself.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
So I all week.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
So I taught him last Thursday, and all week I
have been torturing myself because I'm like, oh, we were
pretty joky last week in class, and by we, I
mean he and I. But of course my jokes always
tend to be insulting, which is terrible, and I apologize,
but too bad. And I made a living so he
(04:28):
said something about wanting to work on a stand up
bit about being quote non athletic, and like, if you've
ever seen a kid who's non athletic, it's this kid.
He has a five inch thigh gap, he's like one
hundred and twenty pounds. So all we were joking about
non athleticism during the class. So I figured, oh, he
opened the door. So when someone else said about being
(04:49):
non athletic, I would just joke about Houston. I would
say to him, well, if you want to see a
real non athlete looking over further than this guy or
whatever it was, and he would laugh.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
So I'm leaving school that day.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I'm take the elevator down to the garage, and I'm like,
did I hurt his feelings?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Oh? My god, I hurt his feelings?
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Oh, I better? What do I do? What do I do?
I know what I'll do.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I'll overcompensate and I'll because I know it's like in
his best interest, because I feel when someone hurts your feelings,
you should tell them. So he's a kid, though, so
I figure, is it my job as a human to
apologize because he's younger than me? Or should I not interrupt?
(05:36):
His journey to adulthood by being like, he should bring
it up, So instead I didn't either. I overcomplimented him
in an email to try to make up for this
supposed error that I made. So I said him this
great email about how I loved having him class and
oh my god, I'm so proud of him and all
the growth he's had and never heard back. So I've
(05:58):
had six days of living neck aches, back aches, torture
about should I bring up to him, Hey, man, if
I hurt your feelings, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
But then the art of part of me is like, well,
isn't it his job? So I want to do an.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Episode today on whose job is it to apologize or
bring to someone's.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Attention that an apology is needed. I've had been.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
On the receiving end of a lot of codependency work
where they clearly state, you know, in twelve step programs,
it's that person's job to tell you what they need.
But is that harder for some people? What's the deal?
So I'm still, even at sixty three years old, kind
of going, oh, maybe I have to step in and
(06:45):
just kind of like take responsibility first, Have you had
this stuff happen to you, Nick.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
I mean, I'm pretty perfect. I've never oh yeah, done anything.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Wrong that is true.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Ever, I've had a little bit of it. I would
say I definitely get in modes where I know that
feeling when you're talking about like torturing yourself. Yeah, Like
if it would be like a conversation for me would
probably be like a conversation or something I said to
someone at work and like whatever. Then I would go
home and I'd be.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Like, ah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
And then you don't see him for a while, and
then you're.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Like yeah, and every time you see him there's a
perceived coldness, like you whether that's just our projection, Yeah,
it's like no, maybe they were just like not in
the mood to talk that day, but we take it
it's all self focused in making ourselves the center of
the world, because here I am thinking this kid gives
a shit about me for seven days and hasn't answered
(07:40):
my complimentary email back when he's just like a college
kid who's busy and.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Might not be hurt, right, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I remember, Yeah, I have a friend who's been sober
for got thirty something years, so he's worked a lot
of these codependency issues out and even he falls prey
to it. I remember, I was always joking I have
a third rescue dog named Pete, who's legitimately like, I mean,
as dumb as you get. So I was telling my buddy,
(08:08):
who's sober. I was telling him, Oh my god, this
dog is so dumb, but he's so adorable and so happy.
I got him like me, and yeah, kind of like
a little lap dog like you. So he sends me
this really funny meme of uh chihuahua, which PD is.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Sends me a meme.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Of a Chihuahua like very like bumping into a wall,
like very special needsy.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
So it was really funny, like it was just like
when my dog nd.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So I didn't see it because I didn't go on
Instagram for a little while. And I get a text
from him two days apparently after he sent it, and
he goes, listen, I just want to say, I know
we were joking about PD, but it was way out
of line for me to send you the meme where
I probably hurt your feelings about this dog thing.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
And I go, oh, I just didn't see it. So
even a guy who's worked.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
On themselves relentlessly for forty years thirty years, whatever it
is still falls prey to the oh my god, I
have to torture myself over this thing. And one basically
if that hurt my feelings, it's fine, it didn't, it
would be my job to say, hey, man, I know
we get around, but like if that's a little tender,
don't joke about that, right. But it's a really slippery slope.
(09:17):
So even the people have the most inside who are
the most you know, the people in your life who's
worked on themselves the most, even they fall prey to that.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Yeah, I have to like work if I'm upset about
something or in an argument with someone, I have to
like work to like I've worked out all It takes
like a few days. I'll work out all the scenarios
in my head and yeah, mad, And it's like this
person they fucked me.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
By like two days later you go up to and
I'm just like, hey, that my bad was this is
like in a bad mood, I'm sorry I said that, etcetera, etcetera.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Like it's just like and do they act like do
they even know what you're talking about?
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Sometimes yes, for sure, Like that there was one in
the in a actually yesterday at work, I was on
my phone. It's a girl but started talking to me
and I didn't hear because I was on my phone
and she's very pretty girl and she was like nick
and I was like what. She goes and she's like,
I was talking to you. I go, oh, it is
the first time a guy hasn't paid attention to you ever.
(10:14):
And I got real okay, and she goes, well, it's
that listens like it's that time of the month. I go,
you still get those I thought you were in And
I was like, okay, we got.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
A Your problem is your funny, That's the problem.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
And I fucking started and then literally she but she's cool,
thank god, And literally like three minutes later, I went
over her and I got to stand up, give me
a hugger. I'm really sorry.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Oh so your molested on top of it?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
See actually me to do it?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, affection.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
She was like, no, I'm just in a bet. We
both apologize to each other, but like it was in
three minutes.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
And I was like, it is best to kind of
just nip it in the.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Bud one hundred percent because I know that feeling of
like stewing and then your like you said, your body
starts to ache and ship.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Oh my god, everything hurts, and I'm like, oh, it's shocking.
I threw out my back and my neck because I'm
afraid a nineteen year old upset about me and probably
never read them.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
So I go like, ye constantly.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yeah, So I send him the thing, and but the
fact that then he ignores it because I'm like, well.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
The minute he writes back, I'll feel better.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So it's almost the universe telling me like, no, you
got to make this better within yourself. So either have
the balls to send a real email or talk to
him and say, hey, man, you know, I know we
get joking in class, but I feel I may have
been on the line and have him be an adult.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
And say it.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
But then, of course, from day to day, the next day,
it's like, listen, man, fuck that kid. Let me tell
you something. First of all, answer a teacher when they
send you an email. Second of all, how about you
don't be a pussy and you say excuse me.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Miss so?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
And so that hurt my feelings because that's obviously the
most respectable way to act, right, and then I go by.
Of course, the fourth day, I'm like just spinning and
then yesterday I knew I was going to see him,
and I said, you know what, I'm going to show
up early, and I'm going to say can I speak
to you?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And I'm going to be the adult idiot.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Even though it's codependent, and say, gosh, Houston, I really
hope I didn't hurt your feelings last week.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That would really, you know, that would be terrible for
me to do. So are you okay?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
So instead what happens is I don't get there early.
I self sabotage that move because, oh god forbid, you
don't drive through a place and get your big diet coke.
And then he came a little.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Late to class.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
I'm like, damn it, and I figure, I know, we'll
walk to our carns together and I'll sus it out.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
I'll suss out the situation. I go down, I'm so,
how is your week great?
Speaker 3 (12:46):
And he goes, you know, I got your email congratulating
me about at school. I just didn't know what to say,
so I just ignored it and I was and I go, no,
that's fine. I go, you can usually just say thank you,
I said, or ignore it is fine, and goes, well,
I just didn't know what to say. I'm uncomfortable with compliments,
so I'm thinking I worried a week that I was This.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Kid was mad that I was mean to him.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Apparently he doesn't like compliments either, So you can't win
with this fucking kid.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I think what we're saying is this fuck I hate
him right now. But yeah, it's like it's such.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
A slippery slope of like knowing what's right. Like that
whole thing in codependency where they talk about no is
a complete sentence.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
So basically, suppose.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
My idiot I don't have idiot friends like this, but
supposed like, oh no, no, no, I mean idiot friends
like this who want you to go on a trip
with them and you just don't want to go.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
In codependency work, you just have to say no. You
don't have to say no.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
I don't want to know that timing isn't right for me. No,
it doesn't sound like my thing. People should be able.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
To accept a no.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
And as old as I am and as much as
I work on myself, I don't think I've ever been
able to leave it at a no. It's too hard.
So those things about not apologizing even though you think
you hurt so many feelings are just being blunt and
saying nope. That is almost impossible. You know, I had
to turn down. I got invited to a wedding in
(14:16):
the summer, and I don't want to go because it's
too far. There's a lot of plane transfers. I'm trying
to cut down on activity this year. I'm just trying
to be a lot more mindful of what I say
yes to. And I had to be super careful how
I worded the reply to the invitation, because I was like,
I want to just go nope, but that's not how
you keep friends either.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And do I owe them an explanation?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Not really, but they at least deserve a no. I
wish I could attend, However, this doesn't work for me.
Can't wait to celebrate with you in person, but it's
hard to just leave it at these blunt rules that
we know are correct.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
Thumbs down emoji in there. You both should get, really
one gift of the guy from Gladiator just going o cauld.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I just send them like a egg plant all the time. Well,
I know, and poop an eggplant and a poop.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Egg plant, poop rainbow what else? That's really a water
emoji sometimes well.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Ps, wait, I just started ignoring you and I'm not apologizing.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
What what would you rather be?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Err on the side of the person who anticipates, hey,
I'm countable to myself and I may owe them an apology,
or the person who's like, well, it's up to them, Like,
who would you rather be?
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I think it really it so depends on the situation,
But I would say I would probably be the person
who would be Now, I would be the person and
more likely to be like, hey, I'm sorry and apologize
and just make it all good, even if I still
have a little bit of like, you know, you were
fucking wrong there, but I'll still I would rather do
that because I used to do be the opposite way.
(15:58):
Just hold grudges and I can hold them.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
But but but, but that's not what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
I'm not saying it's a grudge to hold on to
that fear that they are withholding some kind of there's
a little nick in the friendship, a little like it's
a little scar that kind of like they're letting fester.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Yeah. No, I would be more likely to apologize and
bring it up now back in the day.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I know, why aren't they all just fucking man up.
Why aren't they all woman up? Tit up? Dick up.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I was like, I honestly wish it was a perfect
world that everyone could just say, hey, man, that hurt
my feelings.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
It's the best.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Because I I recently did that to somebody. I think
it really threw them off. Like people are not used
to people just going, hey, you know that kind of hurt.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Oh, I'm sorry, you're mad? I go, no, I'm not mad.
It just hurt. Yeah, and they don't don't know what
to do with it. But that's hard to say too.
That's vulnerable saying I'm hurt versus I'm mad.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Yea too is people are like, oh, I could say
things and joke around with her and blah blah blah,
and so they get excited to do it.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah yeah, not really no place. What's up?
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Cut?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Actually actually not anymore.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
I mean, if you want to see it all come out, yeah,
I went, I did it. Sorry, not sorry recently because somebody.
It was in class one day, my adult stand up class,
and I don't God bless them, but there was this
one woman and she was really pushing back on advice
and I'm like, well, why are you paying for the class?
(17:45):
And then I said, look, after like twelve pushbacks, I said,
you know what, honestly, if this doesn't work for you, maybe.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
This isn't the class for you. And then I go sorry,
and then I go, wait a minute, I'm not sorry.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
I go I think what I just that you was perfect?
So I take my sorry back.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
And then Lisa was like, you should kill yourself lady.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, yeah, how dare you? Nick? Suicide is a big,
bad topic.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
So if you have a question for us right to
shrink this show at gmail dot com?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
That shrink this show at gmail dot com?
Speaker 3 (18:20):
And Nick, do you have some letters for people who
are apologetically douches?
Speaker 4 (18:25):
They're big? Does I hate.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Them all already? Oh my god?
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Okay, all right, so Lisa, I love you so much.
My name's Andrew. I'm writing from Denver, Colorado.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Rocky, fuck you.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
I've been overthinking this situation with my coworker. I think
I might have upset her during a meeting last week
when I disagreed with her about a plan for a rollout.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Skinny's very technically, it's a lot of business.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Yeah, the our didn't business? Spread cheek, spread your cheeks?
She hasn't said anything to me about it, but she
has also been seemingly avoiding me. Ah, bring it up
and risk making it weird, or just assume she's fine.
I hate leaving things unresolved, but maybe I'm just making
(19:19):
it worse by obsessing over it.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yeah, this guy's between a rock and hard place. Nick,
let me see that letter in person. Walk that thing
over here. No, I want to come on and look
at those thighs rubbing together.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Listen this guy. First of all, I love.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
That he at least calls himself out on his overthinking
because I was obsessing about this stuff too. I get it,
and he is making it worse by obsessing over it.
Like literally, in my situation last week, it could have
been like, Okay, you know what you're gonna say, You're
gonna apologize on Thursday, and let's move on with our life.
But of course that doesn't happen. So I get where
(19:59):
he's coming from. This whole thing about she's seemingly avoiding me, Like,
but is she.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Like in your head?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I know so much of this is just imagined. I
used to have a notebook that on the cover it
said list of imagined slights, so meaning like, what do
people say that they actually didn't mean anything? But I'm
going to keep a list and keep it tally of
who's the asshole.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
And I hate them? Okay, So I don't know with him,
I think honestly, if the price of keeping it inside
is more than the price of asking, you got to
figure out.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Which gives you less pain exactly. So you're overthinking, you're obsessing.
Do we morally know that it's her job to come
up to you and say, hey, man, that was kind
of bad. I wish we could talk about it. Sure,
But if it's going to ruin your week and you're
not emotionally there have done the work to get emotionally
out of that habit, then just go up to her
(21:00):
and be like, hey, can we talk about what happened
in the meeting last week?
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yeah? I would say that, go up to her, address it,
get it out in the open. Also to my question
would be what is his relationship with her besides work?
Like is it like a friend? Does he really care
about her? Does he have to work with her a ton?
Does she have power over him? Like? What's the dynamic? Like?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
So much is not being unsaid.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Yeah, it's just like I don't know, like I think
Belie is right, like, just go and address it. See
where you're at. Oh, it's just a close friend or
something like. What's I don't know the dynamic here.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I just think I live in a fantasy world of
going wow, I wish they I think if all people
just went up to each other, that would be great,
but they're not gonna. And the tenseness and that whole
tension around the office. Oh and then just go in
every day and be like, oh God, does she hate me?
And is that our problem?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah? Yeah, it is. Our problem is giving a shit
if people hate us?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
When he clearly probably did nothing wrong, like he disagreed
with her for a plan for a rollout spreadsheet, PowerPoint
whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
What is the rollout about?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Can you right back to us, Andrew and tell us
what in Denver, Colorado are you rolling out?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Other than joints. That's all they do, is they smoke
the pot.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Because when I was the last time I played in
Denver before my retirement, I remember I said, I was
on stage, I said, could the lights go up please?
And of course the big pothead who was running the
lights of the theater was outside smoking a dube and
I said, denver to me, So you know, when Andrew
just die and go smoke the pot next letter?
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Fuck you? All right? So, dear Lisa, in the past year,
I've lost twenty five pounds. Yoh, bet, talk about to
find gravity. Oh, I feel much better about myself. Last
week I saw an at that I'm not crazy about.
H We've all been there and.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Not with a capital C. No fist bumps, no shocks.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Hell yeah. And she told me how much better I look,
and that she couldn't believe how big I allowed myself
to gets.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
She has. I thought I apologized about this already.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
But.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Oh my god, I feel like that was way out
of line. But I don't think she has any idea,
which she doesn't.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
No, she does not.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Should I call her and ask for an apology and
explain why I'm hurt. I'm not a confrontational person, so
what the fuck do I do about it?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (23:32):
I was with her till the not confrontational part. I
so object strongly to the I'm not confrontational, which means
you need to grow the fuck up and if something
bothers you or hurt you, say something that is just
giving yourself the chance to build tons and years of
(23:54):
resentment and be angry internally and hold on to all
of it instead of everything. Isn't a confrontation. It's just
a discussion. It's just a conversation. So if I I
remember once I was meeting with you and Andrew and
Bow that, these guys that we ostensibly write with every week,
(24:14):
and I remember I was like, I'm mad at Bo,
And I said to you and Andrew, wait in your
cars because I got to talk to him about something.
And I'm like, there should be no fear about bringing up, hey, Bo,
what you did. I didn't like, let's talk about it.
Obviously you didn't do it in front of you guys,
And they just told you guys about it later and
we all laughed. But that's not confrontational. There's not two
(24:37):
types of people, those of us who don't like confrontation
and then co opt everybody to tack of our feelings
where we resent them, or people who just bull in
a China shop going and be like, look, motherfucker. Like
there's that in between ground of just going hey, aunt,
let's make it aunt Lisa, because that sounds like something
I would have said years ago, like now I know better.
(25:00):
Now I know like no, because also, like you know
who says less weight equals more attractive, Like it's just
like fat phobia.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
It's just bullshit. So how about you say you.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Look great, how you feel in whatever? So anyway, years ago,
I would have definitely been like, dude, you fucking let
yourself go?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
What the fuck? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Man, they hung those kids fit hang like if that
was me and some and also these aunts though are formidable,
Like there is a certain fear level of some of
these elder relatives because you're like, oh my god, she's
gonna yell at me, she's gonna be mad at me.
I often wonder I'm the Peppa person if I hurt
(25:43):
someone's feelings, I'm formidable. So I don't know. If they
would tell me they'd be afraid, I'd be like, ah,
fuck you, And I honestly wouldn't. I wouldn't start crying
white girl tears of like and make it about me.
I'd be like, oh man, I'm really sorry that hurt
you know how like white women always have to cry
about It's like how to just switch to your issue now?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Now I have to feel sorry for you.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
So if that was me, I would love if Denise
could come up to me and say, gosh, I'm not
usually comfortable with conversations like this. I fear confrontation, but.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
You hurt my feelings.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
When you said I looked terrible before or whatever the
verbiage was, I'd be like, oh my god, I didn't
intend that. I'm so sorry. That would be so mature
and great. But if you're going to write your story
is I'm not confrontational. You'll never have a confrontation, you'll
never have an equal friendship, you'll never have an equal marriage,
and you'll just be a doormat. That is my feelings,
(26:39):
and I'm right. So you know what, go eat yourself
to death.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Sacramento Mallory.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
That was the name. I forgot to read it.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I love that. I what do you think? I mean?
The aunt?
Speaker 3 (26:51):
What the aunt did was inarguably wrong. What we know
what the aunt did was in arguably.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
I I have. It's weird because I with my family,
I have the hardest boundaries of all time. Like if
they say shit or anything, that's gonna interfere. But like
I will for a sports reference, I'll stiff arm those fuckers.
To the ground, get away from me.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
We only have women and gay men listening to this.
So I hope you're happy.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
I hope you're happy now that.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
But at the same time, like I understand it, it's like,
what's it gonna you know when you say, even aunt,
you're not crazy of Maybe you apologize and it makes
your guys relationship better. That's true. It could maybe you
apologize and she's like, oh, what are you want of
those liberals?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Fatties are good too, chicks? How does she turn into
Jennifer Cooler?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
But I mean also too, like if it's an aunt,
that's like, say, this is a grown woman, I would
assume so her aunts like in her seventies.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
They're not gonna know. Sometimes you just got to the
old people that.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Pass him benefit of the doubt, man, Like at some
point it's like, are you gonna call up your seventy
five year old great aunt and be like, you know
what you said? Just let them.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
I remember years ago when my mother said to me,
my mother would always joke around about how lousy my
boyfriends were.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Yeah, and it was like hurt my feeling says, it's
clearly this is years.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Ago, like before I dated somebody decent, and I clearly
picked badly and she was worried. But every time she
said it, I'd feel worse about the choice I made.
And that sounds like what's going on with Mallory because
she feels bad that she she knows internally she didn't
like herself at the other weighth and it makes her
(28:45):
feel like shit. I did let myself go, and I
wish I hadn't. I was like, I wish I hadn't
dated those kind of guys. It just reminds you of
your past and how it was ugly. So I remember
saying to my mother. I just said one day, I said,
you know, I really wish you wouldn't bring up guys.
It makes me I can't believe I said it, because
talk about formidable, like you think I'm tough. My mother,
(29:06):
would you send it in shut up bah blah, but
she would. I said that you gotta stop, I go.
I don't like that, I said, I don't date guys
like that anymore. So it makes me feel bad that
you say that. Yeah, and she never did it again.
There's something about even tough women like me and her
(29:27):
that you tell us and we fucking remember. So those
non confrontational people. I mean, it'd be great if you
could stop writing the story of like you're the victim
and don't like to come from people. It's just like
educate us instead in what hurts. Like if you said
to me, even though we joke a lot, if you said,
(29:47):
you know, I know my mom died when I was six,
and I joke about it, but you know, if you
joke about it, it hurts, I'd be like, oh shit, like
I would never forget that again. I would it would
never happen again like.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
That, Like again, the intent like like you and your
mother are like like she was just saying it to
be like having fun and joking around. Yeah, and that's
the same thing with you. Like everything you said. That's
why none of us, like Bo and Andrew and all
of us, like, none of us take it because we're
like this is fun, like this means right whatever, But yeah,
(30:20):
the intention is never to hurt someone, like you know,
someone like your mother was like, like you said, you
told her once you are I'll never forget I love you,
and you're like, please don't say that, and she was
like good, all right, cool.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
And I think it's like being an adult means having
those hard conversations. So I think the more this girl grows,
she'll be like, well, you're not either yes, confrontational or
not at all. You're somewhere in between of like educating
people how to treat you.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
That's all it is. And then if the aunt's still
a cunt, you just write her off or you say,
well you know what, Yeah, I guess I can't trust
you with my feelings anymore.
Speaker 4 (30:57):
Yeah, we're just like, you know, put a little, don't
salt the steps next time it snows.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
I love that an old people injury fully advocates that.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Got one more, We got one more. Oh my god,
I better like them better than that fat hole.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
See this is James from Manitoba.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Oh my god, Canadia, Canada. I love them so.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Dear Lisa, my wife has brought to my attention that
I apologize too much.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Oh god, I hate that type of part. Sorry Celia.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
That Celia, even men do it supposedly straight like this.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
Do I reach for the thing? Says something?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Well, then I think that that man needs to be
my husband's. Then we apologize to each other, Oh.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
My god, and you would be the couple no one
wants around exactly, No, I'm sorry codependent.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (31:49):
So my wife brought to my attendency. I apologize too much,
she says. We'll be out to dinner, and if the
waiter comes over and I'm not ready to order, I'll
say sorry four or five times, and then it makes
the person uncomfort. I feel like people don't apologize enough.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Oh god, so he's overcompensating for they are so nice
a different breed, Nick, That's the only place I ever
played where in an autograph line they're like, thank you,
miss Lampinelly, thank you miss lamps and ps. Then I
instituted that elsewhere. I said, it is not.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Lease, it's miss Lampinelly.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
You say.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Sat face and said, how did you let yourself go
your fat hunt?
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Go ahead?
Speaker 4 (32:34):
He says he feels like people don't apologize enough that
it's appreciated no matter how many times I say it.
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Because it becomes meaningless as fuck. All the I'm sorries
they add up to one big Hi.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
I'm a people pleaser. HI like me, like me, like me,
like me, like me? If you're not, I get saying
once to the you know what?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Actually, I get saying it to the waiter if they've
come back like three times in a half hour and
you're like, oh, I'm sorry, we're you know, we talk
a lot. There's this one restaurant that me and my
friend go to in Madison, Connecticut, beautiful rich people town. No,
when we go there once every couple of weeks and
have dinner for five hours, they know that they know
(33:16):
now not to even ask us what we want until
an hour in because they know we're not even gonna
have looked at the menu yet. But if you're not
in a place where they know that and they're coming
back and just trying to do their job, I get
after like the third time, being like, oh, I'm sorry, man,
we're a little different. We talk a lot first, and
we'll give.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
You a signal. But the weird people pleasy, manipulative, I'm sorry,
is just sound a little cloying, and they lose meaning.
I don't either.
Speaker 4 (33:47):
I mean, honestly, it's like when a woman does it, I'm.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Like, it's low self esteeming.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
It's not great. When a guy does it, I really
hate ith.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah, Well, because women, we can almost underst stand it.
How you know, with the patriarchy, we've been conditioned to
be apologetic in general, but shut up such a non
bro and so we kind of get it.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
But with men, you go, hmmm, wow, that poor guy.
Let's see what's inside that vault.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Yeah. Yeah, if I could put a little just like
a little bow on it. This is something I think
about all the time since I've met Lisa. So since
I met you, of you've been very upfront about your
emotions and been very direct and things like that. And
you know, I've been at therapy and worked on myself
and I've found that it in a way, and I
(34:39):
know these people are in their heads and they're overthinking things,
but being more direct just overall for me in any regard,
whether it's apologizing or anything else, has made me feel
more relaxed and freer than probably in my life.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
So that that was one thing that just came to
me that I was like, I need to say this,
because that was I would have avoided everything at all
costs or been like it's there. Yeah, I'm just guarding
the shit out of my emotions all day. So I
think being direct about it and just being honest about
your feelings, no matter what the situation, no matter who
it's with there are situations, maybe like with the old aunt,
(35:12):
you're like whatever, she's eighty, Yeah, she'll it's fine, right,
I get it. But I think overall being able to
address it and apologize and being okay with the outcome
of it too, because I think a lot of it
and tell me if I'm wrong, But I think a
lot of it comes with like wanting to be liked.
Oh yeah, and like I want I want to know
(35:34):
everything's okay, right, everyone, we're cool. Yeah, And it's once
you stop caring about that. I mean, you're not walking
around being an asshole to people, right, but you're just
being direct and relaying your emotions and to me, I
know personally, it's been super freeing and been very relaxing,
and I haven't had those freak out moments of holding
on to stuff as much.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
And I think to the people, first of all, I'm
that landed for me that I've changed your life and
you're you would have died without me, So thank you,
thank you for saying that.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I'm not sorry.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
No, the whole thing about wanting to be liked is
such a manipulative thing because like, and again this is
not saying, oh why you know, the waiter's meaningless, he's not,
but like, why do you care so much if he
likes you? Clearly that's childhood stuff. Clearly it's like mommy
and daddy have to like me. Now everybody has to
(36:23):
like you know what I mean, So we get it.
It's all deep internal work. But it's manipulating the world
to make you feel better. And sometimes it's sitting with
the uncomfortable stuff like oh my god, he's coming in
for the third time. I can't put myself beneath him
by apologizing. I have no growth if I'm not uncomfortable,
because no growth comes without discomfort.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
I mean the few weeks ago that I told someone
they hurt my feelings.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
She's definitely pulled back. Yeah, And I'm like, I've noticed.
I've noticed the lack of the texts or the very
brief texts and the little time, as we say in
the psychology business Day, counter less contact. And I'm like, interesting,
So even sometimes doing the right thing of saying that
(37:12):
hurt my feelings will make that wrong.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Person pull back.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
So if people pleasing was my intention, it sure didn't work.
So I think it's just that truthfulness. I don't think
you can go wrong with the truth. Obviously not harsh
and saying shitty things like but saying that hurt. Yeah,
we land on the right person right.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
One of the things I think about all the time is,
and this is like a few years ago, when we
would go to the diner and if we were sitting
in a certain area and if there was a table
that was being really loud, yeah or whatever, and you
were like, let's move, we need to sit here. Yeah,
wasn't me or me I'm like at that time, I
was like no, no, no. I was like, no, we could
just stay. It's fine, they'll probably be leaving soon.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
Well I would do that.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Of course, because we're not being like it's worse to
sit and give them a bad energy of like looking
at them because they're loud, or like shushing them or.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
And what we didn't even get up in a huff.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
I was like, hey, man, why don't we go over there?
It's cool and it's just taking care of you first.
Maybe that's the whole point. Yeah, what would make you
feel best to do in the moment of Oh, I
could either apologize or I could hold this thing in
because I know it's better for that person's growth. Whatever
makes you feel better, but understand they're not going to
(38:29):
grow if you keep caretaking.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Yeah, I would on the side of just get it
out there. I mean, if you're just being sincere and
just having a conversation with someone, if they can't handle it.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Then I mean, have you ever apologized for something in
the person has absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
It is the best because you realize what an idiot
you were.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
For overthinking at I remember, okay, years ago, I okay,
when I was like thirteen, I got a pair of tap.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Shoes for like some show amazing.
Speaker 3 (38:58):
And my dad I don't even know why, because we
joked around a lot, but he's a soft spoken guy.
I took the tap shoe and I like hit him
on the arm with it, like just spink and I
didn't think it would hurt, and he goes ow like,
I guess it really hit the wrong spot. Thirty fucking
years in therapy, I was always somehow came around to
(39:20):
I feel terrible. Oh my god, I hurt my father.
I heard him physically.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Oh my god, what do I do?
Speaker 3 (39:25):
And once Trigg finally goes to me, why don't you
just like apologize like, well, what a novel I did.
I go up to my dad. I'm like forty something
years old, and I go, Dad, I've been torturing myself
about this. I'm really sorry. When I was thirteen, I
hit you with a tap shoe in the arm and
he goes, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (39:43):
And I go.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
At the time, yeah, no, seventy something like I hit
you in the arm and you went out and he goes,
I don't remember that, And honestly, at his funeral, part
of the eulogy was, my dad did not hold on
to those things.
Speaker 4 (39:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
My dad was like always he would hold on to
the good and then the bad kind of like it
was like whatever, yeah, so it hurt me more to.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Hold on to it. So all I can say is,
go hit an elderly person in the arm.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
We're right now to me, I know on the street,
Say you're sorry.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Fell.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Our third segment is always leased as fuck up of
the week. You would think I fucked up enough that
I tortured a small child in one of my classes
and made fun of him and then never apologized and
kind of skirted the issue. But this actually isn't a
fuck up that I did this week. I was just
thinking of other times I've had sorry moments, but this one.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
I absolutely felt bad about.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
So I was in the city a few months ago
and I was going to see a much lauded Broadway show,
something that in arguably has great reviews. Because I read
the New York Times. Mister, I know what's going on
on the bads. I follow everything going on in the
Great White Way, and I said, hot diggity, I'm going
to see l So I went to see Elf, and
(41:02):
I was online at the Hershey store, because god forbid,
I would kill time outside waiting in a line.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
What am I a farmer?
Speaker 3 (41:09):
So I was killing time with my little friend Trevor,
who's twelve, and I treat to these things so we'll
take cold care of me when I'm elderly. And I
was online and a woman why, she said.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
What are you going to see?
Speaker 3 (41:21):
As New Yorkers do? And I said, why am I
going to see Elf? And she goes, oh, I heard
it's great, and I said yes, And of course I
have to be like braggy, So I was like, yes,
I saw the original production on Broadway five years ago
and it was so good, and I just can't wait
for this new one, and we're going backstage and there
(41:42):
at the time was a show on Broadway and I
will mention its name because I don't care because it's
long gone that god possibly the worst reviews in years,
and it was called Tammy Faye the Musical and it
was written by Elton John and it certainly answered the
question is he going down and blind? Because it was
(42:02):
just much milind terrible, terrible show, inarguably the worst show
in many years. So I said to her, what are
you going to see? And she said Tammy Faye and
I literally couldn't hide it. I just go, oh, I'm sorry,
Like it wasn't even a thought. I just go sorry,
And then the look on her face and I go,
(42:25):
but no, no, I know it's got terrible reviews, but
we just go to see everything. And she points out
her other yen to friend and she goes see everything
with and I hated them instantly, because you have somebody
to go see everything.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
With it, I don't Joe, And I said, I'm not sorry.
I hope you have a terrible day. Hot diggity dew.
We're going to see Elf. But the sorry, I blurted out,
I like later on.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
I was like, did I make her feel bad for
making this choice? Well, if you're so stupid that you're
gonna go see something that the reviews are out there, lady,
I'm not the one who's hurting your feelings that much.
But I did feel it was a bit of a
fuck up on my behalf, maybe a little bit well
(43:10):
because it was blurdy. It wasn't thought. It wasn't like,
let me think of how to make fun of her.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
It was like, sorry, Yeah, is seeing Tammy Fay on
Broadway like the equivalent of someone who's like, oh my god,
I watched The Housewives on TV?
Speaker 3 (43:22):
No because it was No, because I hate reality TV.
I think it's just dumbed down America a lot and
giving us a license to be disgusting.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
Yeah, but no.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
It's like seeing a very badly reviewed movie but paying
about five times the amount, you know.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
What I mean. I didn't know if that's the version
of like, I know plenty of very smart, cool people
who are like, well, the Housewives are like mine, that's
my dumb show I like to watch. No.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Yeah, so it's not a guilty pleasure show. No, it
was going It was supposed to be something that was
a huge hit. They they shot for excellent and got
dog shit emoji with like the egg play and stuck
in it so that they had dick in an ass shit.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yeah I should have said that to her.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
Oh my god, I heard it's like an eggplant dick
in an ass shit. I think I was a nice right,
So I think with that one I didn't torture myself
as much because it was involuntary. If it's like someone, oh,
like when you step on someone's or when somebody steps
on your foot and you say sorry, like we've all
done that. Yeah, it's almost involuntary. We know it's not right.
(44:27):
Why am I apologizing for being stepped on? But it's
still okay, Like we blurt things all the time, it's fine.
I think the look on my face was just like, oh,
I fucked up, but I'm sure it'll be into No,
I know it's gonna suck.
Speaker 4 (44:41):
Or maybe that Lady show, God, there it goes.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Or she said I don't know what that blue hair
cut was talking about. This was great, but I have
a thing too, where like if she came out of
that show and said that I couldn't like her, I'm
(45:09):
really prejudiced.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
When it comes to bad taste.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
I'm not saying I have the greatest taste, but I
at least know sort of a bar like I'll forgive.
I have two friends who are really into reality TV.
They know better than to discuss it with me. They
know I'm disgusted by it. I don't think it's good
for the world or the country. I think it's terrible.
It teaches people to behave badly. If the housewime's getting
away with it, so can I.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
It's not harmless, so they don't not to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
But we have a taste level that's similar. So they
never will mention a horribly bad movie and I have
to hate them. We have a friend BO who sometimes
he'll mention a horribly bad movie and I'm like, I
kind of have to hate you a little, not enough
to break up the friendship, but I don't have you
to do.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
You have no discernment. Do you have no taste at all?
Speaker 3 (45:59):
That's why there's some shit I will not tell my
friends to watch because if they don't like it, they're
dead to me.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
Yeah, I was actually told Bo to watch a few movies,
and they'll text me back like this kind of sucks. Yeah,
he's and the movie is like one of the ones
that I love and tell me it's okay an interview
with a vampire.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 4 (46:18):
I was watching is like, this is ridiculous. Of course
it's ridicuos. It's a fantasy jump and vampires in the
eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
Yeah, it wasn't supposed they weren't going for realism.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Yeah, so weird.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I would have hated her more,
and she would have deserved not just a sorry, but like.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
A big slap.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
You're like a stabbing.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Yeah, and I'd be like we were elf, I'm gonna
kill you.
Speaker 4 (46:43):
Now, right, bring Faye back, dude, No.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
Oh my god, I just okay.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
So we were all in agreement that yeah, on the
cunt scale of the zero to cunt, it was maybe
a little cringe, but full blown count would have been like, sorry,
you're going to see that piece of shit and then
do like a.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Bunch of roast jokes about it. That wouldn't have been good.
Speaker 4 (47:06):
See, I've had the benefit of having you as a friend,
so like everything I've gone to see I know is
going to be good.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Yeah, you have no choice, but like, now there's.
Speaker 4 (47:14):
A part of me that's like I want to see
what bad looks like.
Speaker 3 (47:17):
I don't think you do, really, because especially for that
kind of money.
Speaker 4 (47:21):
Well yeah, well I would have to be like a
you know, a lottery ticket or.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Some shit like yeah, yeah, we'll tell you some badly
reviewed stuff and you can go bad it not even
a snobby thing because my taste level. Hey, I don't
understand opera, I don't understand jazz. Like there's a lot
of things I'm not smart enough to get right, but
I just know it's never I always have two friends
who are in the entertainment business that I'll call when
(47:46):
I don't like either a TV show or a play,
and I'll go, no, these guys are smart, And I'll go,
why do I hate such and such? And I'll name
the movie or whatever, and they go, oh, because you
don't like dot dot dot, or they'll say because it's
just inarguably shitty. So I don't have the taste level
they have. But I also kind of think I have
(48:06):
some discernment, Like it's like when you know you're not gorgeous,
but you know what ugly is, like, you know, like
my father always is the women he idolized he thought,
And of course they're probably the two most beautiful women
who ever lived, Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly. So I
(48:27):
never looked like either, but boy did I know that?
They sure look better than most. So I can judge
that without being that. You know, like my off Broadway
show could have closed early, gotten a bad review.
Speaker 2 (48:41):
Whatever.
Speaker 3 (48:42):
Just because I can't make it doesn't mean I don't
know it when I see it. Yes, sissy, anybody got
down for that?
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Sorry I'm from New Orleans. Still sorry, I am none. Yeah.
I hate when people do that too.
Speaker 3 (49:02):
We have to do an episode on people who are
way over identify with like saying things correctly, Like they'll
be like van go instead of ango, or they'll be
like no, it's like that was in that movie Manhattan.
That would yell a movie and she's the pretentious ladies
going van and like no, I have to instantly hate
(49:23):
you or they uh tell you? How would you say
New Orleans if you're from there?
Speaker 4 (49:29):
New Orleans?
Speaker 2 (49:30):
No, Well you're a human. But don't they go nolensled? Yeah?
Do they do that? Wh White people do that?
Speaker 4 (49:37):
I mean, like weird people do it.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
I think it's like, let the black people say it
the way they want because like their Cajun and they
bucking all are a loud, but stop being white and
trying to say things like that.
Speaker 2 (49:49):
Yeah, I don't like yelling.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
That, doing that, saying that we better not or else
get switch. You owe us an apology.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Never.
Speaker 4 (49:58):
My grandmother, who is Fromans, used to go to New
Orleans all the time and she would call it New
Orleans like she would pronounce every I like that she's
been Orleans. I love it there.
Speaker 3 (50:09):
And I'm like that's but you know what, else's kind
of dopes as Italians because and beat the guy at
the restaurant. The diner isn't going to know just a
manicotti or pointed it, like stop showing off your dumb knowledge.
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Like I don't like all that.
Speaker 4 (50:28):
Yeah, I feel weird at a restaurant. There's like I always
go Ricotta. I'm like, we're good.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
Yeah, my sister, My sister always goes you want some MutS?
Speaker 2 (50:40):
I like the soprano Italian where it's just.
Speaker 4 (50:43):
Like you go the loops, you want some mutsuts.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yeah, we gotta go.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
We're getting that signal from our boss Celia saying wrap
that shut up, you two girls, I've been going on
too long, God damn, and I tried.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
To rest you and look what happens after this? Well,
this has been great. I don't feel sorry at all to.
Speaker 3 (51:07):
Anyone right now. We're hopefully you've learned a little something.
Please tune in once again to shrink this.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
But Lisa Allie I can be found and Lisa Lampelli
on maybe one or two socials I don't know and
I don't care. And nick can be found somewhere.
Speaker 4 (51:26):
Where Nicky wash that's right? What what? What? You don't?
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Please?
Speaker 3 (51:36):
Everyone make sure to follow us and listen to us
on where she always rights out what we have to say.
And I feel a bit resentful that I have to
promote an app that I don't even have.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
Yeah, just kidding, of course, I haven't wait.
Speaker 3 (51:52):
I'm pulling up on my phone, booder.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Oh, it hung up on me I Heart Radio app?
Where are you? No?
Speaker 3 (52:01):
Make sure to listen read the last line because Celia's
gets in trouble if we don't.
Speaker 4 (52:05):
Yeah, you can listen on your iHeart Radio app or
wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
Well you think i'd be able to get my head
around saying that I just can't promote something.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
I just feel like being used.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
I feel like all the hell they've given us, all
the free studio space and the half assed engineer we.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Have almostank abuse. This is elder abuse. I think he's
talking to me. No, thank you for listening to shrink this.
Speaker 3 (52:41):
Listen to us, like we said on your iHeart app,
iHeart Radio app.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
Goddamn it, wherever, get your podcast.
Speaker 3 (52:49):
God bless see you next week or whatever
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