November 25, 2025 • 18 mins
In this mini-episode of the pod, Lisa, Nick, and Celia revisit traditions from frat-boy ski trips to Blackout Wednesdays to all the guys and gals who refuse to grow up. They talk sober friends, gluten-free buzzkills, and Celia’s nosey therapist, and Lisa proves that, if your traditions never evolve, maybe you’re the problem.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. His podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Only these You need help, you're the problems.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Come on, come on, lamb, take a pill. I think
you're insane.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Do what I said, dumb ass.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
Listen to me.
Speaker 6 (00:45):
You what's the thing he says with William, that's like
a sex noise right when I'm like fakes and sex noises.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I don't think I've ever done it correctly.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
I can see you just going deep on purpose.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And then throw up on a cock. Is this sing on?
Are we recording? Like hold their penis and just go
tap on it?
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Is this thing recording?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Let's change this podcast into like a sex advice podcast,
like I don't know anything about it, you know barely anything.
Let me show I don't know what happened, I don't
know what what's making it? To Aaron, what isn't this
is Lizapinelli, Welcome.
Speaker 6 (01:52):
To a many tiny Penis episode.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I shrink this to tide you over to season two
from yours in January. Hi, everybody with me is Nick
Scopaletti with his tit is out.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Yeah, you know what it is, baby, Follow me on
Nick on Instagram, TikTok, send me pictures of your dicks
and you tits.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
This is gonna be one of those ex rated ones.
And also I'm much suffering, long suffering, much maligned, but
fitter every minute, thank God, because fat is ugly. Celia Romano,
who could be found at wait, I'll be Celia, ask me,
Ask me what my Instagram is. What's your Instagram's Celia underscore.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Underscore?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, it's two fucking underscores because the other underscore, the
one with one was taken.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
Yeah, she has a blue check mark that Celia.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah, like the real producer. Yeah yeah yeah, Hi Celia.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Hi see.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Romano. Yeah, I can't believe we had three whops in
the waiting.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
I know, all italianmare listen.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
You wouldn't know what's great about this podcast other than
nothing is the fact that every time I listen to
it to approve things, I start laughing. So if it's
just for me, that's all that counts. I don't care
about you listeners. I don't care about that one listener, everybody.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
But we're back.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
We're gonna revisit our previous episodes and do some letters.
Are Yeah, we're doing letters. God, I know. Celia's like
I I forgot about them, and I'm glad I did.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
We tried to get it all out on the road,
didn't It didn't work.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So have we been replaced by a podcast? You like
better at iHeart Lately?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Are you a producer of another podcast?
Speaker 4 (04:06):
The producer of many?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:09):
I don't like.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I kind of like think she's like holding it over
our head, like like that you do better than us?
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Wait, no, will do better than me?
Speaker 5 (04:21):
No, you're right?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Wait no we do well? Yeah, yeah for you two
are evenly matched, especially.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Yeah, except for the fact that there is a fourteen
year difference between.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Guns. So what yeah you Celia getting cut out?
Speaker 4 (04:43):
All right?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So the episode we're going to revisit it is the
one that was about traditions, the gift that keeps on guilty.
And this is an appropriate one because it's Thanksgiving this week,
and that is a very traditional time for people who
who who celebrate when the pilgrims came over and the
(05:06):
engines as they call them, help them harvest and shared
with them, only to be slaughtered by the dirty, dirty pilgrims.
Then we celebrate this slaughter every Thanksgiving Day, Celia, how
are you celebrating this year?
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I'm getting blocked out with my friends, Okay on Blackout Wednesday.
Do you'll know what that is?
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
We do, Like we were born at a time that
they did blackouts.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
I didn't say, do you know what a blackout it is?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Because du no, when you get blackout drunk because it's
the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
You go to your hometown bar and like, my favorite
it is.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
We used to go to a place in Fairfield, Connecticut
called the Sea Grape, which I, of course affectionately referred
to as the Sea Rape because I would say a
pool table there has had a little Jodie Foster action
no offensive Sea Grape out their copyright Fairfield, Connecticut. But yeah,
I never liked that holiday because I was never much
of a boozer. But you're gonna do that. You can
do it in New Orleans.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Every year and without fail, it's like my favorite day
of the year.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Do you end up hungover the next day. Yes, okay,
sounds fun.
Speaker 5 (06:12):
The name of the bar in Louisiana.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Well we go, we do like kind of a bar
hopping situation. So F and M's is like the most
famous F and Ms.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Then we go to clear old jazz.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
No, no, you're close. Labon Thomps.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
Oh yeah, i'd.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Because you know, Labon Thomps means let the good times roll,
and that's like our that's like our slogan thing in
New Orleans. And so there's a bar called Labon Thomps
and they have jazz bands play at like eleven pm.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You want my slogan's going to be, let's steal you
talk less. I'm bored, so no, no, no getting blackout
drunk and just it's a good thing that no one
in your family loves you enough to invite you to dinner.
I mean, that's what the gods of the universe want
this year for you.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I can indulge in my own hangover the next day, correct,
and then go see my friends at night.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Will you watch the parade and cry a little bit?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
No?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Because I went one year as a child, really really young,
and I hated it really Yeah, my jacket got stolen.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Oh this is getting worse. I mean, I mean more
boring to me.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
I also have to sell your jacket for drugs.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Wait, I was gonna say this parade this year is
going to be great because there's a Nick balloon. Oh wait,
it's just him. Okay, so Nick, speaking of traditions, let's
revisit some letters from that episode or for the first time.
Go please?
Speaker 5 (07:42):
All right, you guys, ready, all right? Ever since college,
my fraternity brothers have annual have any annual guys weekend
where we rape each other. Ever since college, my thirty
brothers have had an annuals guys weekend where we go
(08:03):
skiing and then get really drunk.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Oh you know, want to blackout it? Okay, d you
know there was a blackout when we were skiing. They
caught him and put them back in jail, like literally
what those frat guys on the slopes will say. And
they also use slopes as an Asian slur, which I
do not approve of. So I'm just saying, there are
(08:27):
a bunch of racists going skiing fraternity brothers.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Okay, sounds fun. The past few years have been much
more tame because a few of the guys quit drinking,
makes sense. Got to mention became gluten free?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Ding ding ding. We have a loser.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
I missed the animal house trips. Should I only invite
the guys that throw down and keep the good memories alive?
I'm gonna read it like that. Should I only invite
the guys that throw down and keep the good memories alive? Thanks?
Jack Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Harasurg, Pennsylvania, birthplace of Jack the Douchecock. Listen, let me
tell you about this guy.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
Jack, grow up.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Someday things have to change. I'm not saying you should
go as extreme as become friends with someone who's gluten free.
I say those people should be cut out of one's
life forever. I don't approve of these fake allergies. I've
said before, if you have celiac, you don't have to
eat gluten, but if you use it as a little
excuse for your wellness or your dietary tips like, yeah,
(09:34):
kill those two guys and don't invite them, but don't
not invite the guys who are sober because they're still
your friends. It sounds like he just wants to live
in the past. And by the way, once your balls
start sagging and start getting gray hair and bald and tits.
Like Nick, you realize life is okay as you get older.
(09:54):
You just gotta let yourself grow up.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
Dude. What Yeah? As I was reading this, I was like, Oh,
this guy probably just sucks.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
Dude.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
I want to invite the guys that don't drink. Dude.
Everyone's gonna grow up and it's not gonna be like
college forever. They're gonna get married and have kids. Then
no one's coming to fucking anything.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
And no one's drinking except at the wedding, right and
possibly the christening because those you gotta get wasted because
that kid's birthday party is good because they fall in
the pool and drown.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
Yeah that's the point.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah, yeah, you gotta lose those kids at something point.
But she's here, Well, she's a little water on the
brain for her. She knew she had therapy yesterday, going
they're gonna make fun of me. I really want some
tools to like learn how to deal with it because
it is kind of a comedy show, right am I correct?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Well, I have talked to my therapist about it, and
because she listened to it and and she was like,
I don't really like the way that you're being treated.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Fuck you lady, are you including freez?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
And I was defending you. I was like, no, no, no,
like this is like her humor and I'm kind of
me he's just as mean, he's worse. Oh yeah, I
just meant like, you're why but throw me under the bus. No,
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
She you're not invited to our skiing racist again. You
are not gonna go out and hit the slopes.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
I've been silent for the past six minutes. Silence, and we.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Liked it that way.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Okay, raised, and now they're slowly going back.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Wait, no, so your drink things were too mean to you?
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Well, she was just like, I have to say, there
were some things I didn't like.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Maybe she's a bitch. Maybe she don't get humor. You know,
they don't get humor. I don't know how cool my
shrink is. She says, beat up Celia more. She loves
my humor, she enjoys it. She wants to see clips.
Oh wait, she can't see them cause no, But I'm sorry,
(11:53):
your shrink's a pussy. Yeah yeah, and she's probably not
doing a great job at as you're saying from evidence
by how you are going to give you a shrink,
So maybe we got to give you somebody else.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Imagine if I didn't have one at all.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
That's true. Okay, thank you to the tight ass bitch
that you see, Doctor Kuhnt. It's her name, doctor kunt
No it's not. Okay, yes it is.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
I hope she goes on a ski trip and fucking
one of these guys bangs are in the fucking in
the ski slope, in the slope.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
How about this banger in her slope? How about hows
Celia had to defend Ustairs. I will never get over it.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
I did.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
I didn't like some of the things.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
You should have grew up in the Northeast. It would
have been tougher.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, you puss these in New Orleans. Tell me this,
what did she take exception to?
Speaker 4 (12:39):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Sorry? What didn't she like that? We said, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
She didn't tell me specifically. She just like she was
just like, oh, I just didn't like some of like
some of the way that they traded you. And I
was like, no, no, it's like a running joke, like
I get beat up.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
But why did she listen? If she's such a humorless
clam oh, okay, because I because you sent it like
a dumb twice.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Well. No, I was trying to tell her. I was
telling her about my situation when that was going on
in the Fixing Celia episode, and I was just like,
I think this would kind of help you get a
different perspective than just me, you know, listen to this
and that'll help.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
But here's what sucks about her even more. She didn't
see how helpful and fantastic wee oh, but.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Yet she gets to criticize. This is what I don't like.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
You take all of Lisa none.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
You don't get it all again. You see what you write.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
You take her and the houses and the sneaky big
pits and thank you. Yes, I have a mother.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
People can't pick and choose what they like about you.
They ticked the whole package. So you tell her from me.
She wants to get on that fucking phone. We threw
it down, which is not really true, because I would
like Cavin still because she's a shrink. I would be like,
you know, you're right, you know this is okaywhere and
we won't say anything again?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (13:59):
Yeah, is jack grow the fuck up?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Oh yeah, look back to jack Off.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
I could pussy. No, Well, no one wants to drink anymore, do.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
You, Nicko? Because you have guy friends from college and
high school, did you have where you tried because you're
the only single one now, did you try to hold
fast to some of those traditions. I know you didn't
have the ski slope bullshit, but like, did you go, oh,
it's weird now they have kids and we're not doing
the same kind of stuff.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Yeah, I just kind of I kind of saw the writing.
I'll say this, I saw the writing on the wall
because my buddies are with their now wives. They were
with them like my senior year of college, so like
it was winter when I remember it was winter break,
right before my last semester of my senior year, and
I didn't really see them much and they were hit
with these girls at the time, girls all the time. Yeah,
and I was like, they're going to marry these girls.
(14:46):
This is probably things are going to start to change.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
So you saw the writing on the wall.
Speaker 5 (14:50):
Yeah, And like dude, and I had my like I
had my single friends that I went out with, and
like they were in a different and we all hung
out on occasion, like they came out, but like, yeah, no,
I I no, because they were such good friends. I
wasn't like, oh remember.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Because you I know, like they take you out for
your birthday and stuff and you go to a steakhouse
and have a cigar and so it's like it's an
elevated and changed thing, but it's still the same people
and still the good times and memories. If you don't
evolve at all, I mean, it's really ugly and suddenly
you're bragging about going out on Blackout Wednesday in New Orleans.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
We did have a friend that was like all nostalgic
and gave.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Us that mean, mean angry emoji face.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
I'm gonna fuck her.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
They're sexually harassing you. Yeah, ug you and he's gonna
have sex with you? What be the opposite?
Speaker 5 (15:52):
But I actually tell you a quick story. Uh, we
used to go out the night before Thanksgiving all the time,
Like no, practically, oh yeah, I'll tell you this story.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
We went out for a good I mean, you know
from eighteen to probably were like twenty six, twenty seven, right,
that's just but ever you go to the bar, Well,
I loved it. Every year. I was like, this is
the most fun night of the year that in New
Year's I loved right. There's one year we were probably
twenty seven and maybe we're at the bar. We're doing
(16:25):
it right. Everyone's going around, we're talking to each other.
We see everyone we ever fucking knew, our football coaches
from high school are there. It's like everyone you've ever
known in your whole life. And then my group of
friends was like eight of us. We just like looked
at each other about an hour in and we were like,
you guys want to go to the diner? Yes, And
we went to the diner and then we never did
that shit again.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Happened to me when I was twenty eight or twenty nine.
I was working at Rolling Stone and you'd get a
lot of free tickets, and I remember once sitting there
watching ac DC and Angus Young was probably like fifty
or sixty years old, looking elderly in those little schoolboy
shorts that he wears and stuff, and I go, I'm
(17:05):
too old to be watching Angus Young think he's young.
I was like, never, I'm never going to a concert
like this again, like a heavy metal show and a
big arena or something. So we all have to grow up.
So Jack, what's the name Jack? Mayhoff, Jack me.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Off, Jack gave for pay.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, he needs to just go uh figure out why
he needs to hold onto the past so much. Yeah,
and just go gluten free while you're at it. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
I also want to know how old this. This triggers
me because I want to know how old he is
because those guys at parties when I used to go,
even in my late twenties. You go to a house
party and people are you're not drinking, I'd be like, oh,
what are we at the Rugby house? Are you gonna
pressure me?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Shut the fuck up, dude.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
They would stick a beer bottle like up your asshole.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Yeah, well that makes me come But like, besides.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
That, this episode has been called what Not to Play
to Celia's Shrink because you would hate this one. Now
we'll be back next week maybe if the therapist says
it's okay? Nick? Where can people listen?
Speaker 4 (18:08):
Hey?
Speaker 5 (18:09):
Baby, know what it is? You can listen on Oh,
you can listen to this show. If you guys want
to write in, you can email us at Shrink this
show at gmail dot com. Okay, and if you want
to listen to us, which I know you do, clam,
(18:30):
you could find us on your iHeartRadio app or wherever
the hell you get podcasts.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Okay, I heard app.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
You better be iHeart app. Dude in Harrisburg, Quill
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. His podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Only these You need help, you're the problems.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Come on, come on, lamb, take a pill. I think
you're insane.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Do what I said, dumb ass.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
Listen to me.
Speaker 6 (00:45):
You what's the thing he says with William, that's like
a sex noise right when I'm like fakes and sex noises.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I don't think I've ever done it correctly.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
I can see you just going deep on purpose.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And then throw up on a cock. Is this sing on?
Are we recording? Like hold their penis and just go
tap on it?
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Is this thing recording?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Let's change this podcast into like a sex advice podcast,
like I don't know anything about it, you know barely anything.
Let me show I don't know what happened, I don't
know what what's making it? To Aaron, what isn't this
is Lizapinelli, Welcome.
Speaker 6 (01:52):
To a many tiny Penis episode.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I shrink this to tide you over to season two
from yours in January. Hi, everybody with me is Nick
Scopaletti with his tit is out.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Yeah, you know what it is, baby, Follow me on
Nick on Instagram, TikTok, send me pictures of your dicks
and you tits.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
This is gonna be one of those ex rated ones.
And also I'm much suffering, long suffering, much maligned, but
fitter every minute, thank God, because fat is ugly. Celia Romano,
who could be found at wait, I'll be Celia, ask me,
Ask me what my Instagram is. What's your Instagram's Celia underscore.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Underscore?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, it's two fucking underscores because the other underscore, the
one with one was taken.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
Yeah, she has a blue check mark that Celia.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah, like the real producer. Yeah yeah yeah, Hi Celia.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Hi see.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Romano. Yeah, I can't believe we had three whops in
the waiting.
Speaker 5 (03:09):
I know, all italianmare listen.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
You wouldn't know what's great about this podcast other than
nothing is the fact that every time I listen to
it to approve things, I start laughing. So if it's
just for me, that's all that counts. I don't care
about you listeners. I don't care about that one listener, everybody.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
But we're back.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
We're gonna revisit our previous episodes and do some letters.
Are Yeah, we're doing letters. God, I know. Celia's like
I I forgot about them, and I'm glad I did.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
We tried to get it all out on the road,
didn't It didn't work.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So have we been replaced by a podcast? You like
better at iHeart Lately?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Are you a producer of another podcast?
Speaker 4 (04:06):
The producer of many?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:09):
I don't like.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I kind of like think she's like holding it over
our head, like like that you do better than us?
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Wait, no, will do better than me?
Speaker 5 (04:21):
No, you're right?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Wait no we do well? Yeah, yeah for you two
are evenly matched, especially.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Yeah, except for the fact that there is a fourteen
year difference between.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Guns. So what yeah you Celia getting cut out?
Speaker 4 (04:43):
All right?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So the episode we're going to revisit it is the
one that was about traditions, the gift that keeps on guilty.
And this is an appropriate one because it's Thanksgiving this week,
and that is a very traditional time for people who
who who celebrate when the pilgrims came over and the
(05:06):
engines as they call them, help them harvest and shared
with them, only to be slaughtered by the dirty, dirty pilgrims.
Then we celebrate this slaughter every Thanksgiving Day, Celia, how
are you celebrating this year?
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I'm getting blocked out with my friends, Okay on Blackout Wednesday.
Do you'll know what that is?
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
We do, Like we were born at a time that
they did blackouts.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
I didn't say, do you know what a blackout it is?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Because du no, when you get blackout drunk because it's
the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
You go to your hometown bar and like, my favorite
it is.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
We used to go to a place in Fairfield, Connecticut
called the Sea Grape, which I, of course affectionately referred
to as the Sea Rape because I would say a
pool table there has had a little Jodie Foster action
no offensive Sea Grape out their copyright Fairfield, Connecticut. But yeah,
I never liked that holiday because I was never much
of a boozer. But you're gonna do that. You can
do it in New Orleans.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
Every year and without fail, it's like my favorite day
of the year.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Do you end up hungover the next day. Yes, okay,
sounds fun.
Speaker 5 (06:12):
The name of the bar in Louisiana.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Well we go, we do like kind of a bar
hopping situation. So F and M's is like the most
famous F and Ms.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Then we go to clear old jazz.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
No, no, you're close. Labon Thomps.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
Oh yeah, i'd.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Because you know, Labon Thomps means let the good times roll,
and that's like our that's like our slogan thing in
New Orleans. And so there's a bar called Labon Thomps
and they have jazz bands play at like eleven pm.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You want my slogan's going to be, let's steal you
talk less. I'm bored, so no, no, no getting blackout
drunk and just it's a good thing that no one
in your family loves you enough to invite you to dinner.
I mean, that's what the gods of the universe want
this year for you.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I can indulge in my own hangover the next day, correct,
and then go see my friends at night.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Will you watch the parade and cry a little bit?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
No?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Because I went one year as a child, really really young,
and I hated it really Yeah, my jacket got stolen.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Oh this is getting worse. I mean, I mean more
boring to me.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
I also have to sell your jacket for drugs.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Wait, I was gonna say this parade this year is
going to be great because there's a Nick balloon. Oh wait,
it's just him. Okay, so Nick, speaking of traditions, let's
revisit some letters from that episode or for the first time.
Go please?
Speaker 5 (07:42):
All right, you guys, ready, all right? Ever since college,
my fraternity brothers have annual have any annual guys weekend
where we rape each other. Ever since college, my thirty
brothers have had an annuals guys weekend where we go
(08:03):
skiing and then get really drunk.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Oh you know, want to blackout it? Okay, d you
know there was a blackout when we were skiing. They
caught him and put them back in jail, like literally
what those frat guys on the slopes will say. And
they also use slopes as an Asian slur, which I
do not approve of. So I'm just saying, there are
(08:27):
a bunch of racists going skiing fraternity brothers.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Okay, sounds fun. The past few years have been much
more tame because a few of the guys quit drinking,
makes sense. Got to mention became gluten free?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Ding ding ding. We have a loser.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
I missed the animal house trips. Should I only invite
the guys that throw down and keep the good memories alive?
I'm gonna read it like that. Should I only invite
the guys that throw down and keep the good memories alive? Thanks?
Jack Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Harasurg, Pennsylvania, birthplace of Jack the Douchecock. Listen, let me
tell you about this guy.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
Jack, grow up.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Someday things have to change. I'm not saying you should
go as extreme as become friends with someone who's gluten free.
I say those people should be cut out of one's
life forever. I don't approve of these fake allergies. I've
said before, if you have celiac, you don't have to
eat gluten, but if you use it as a little
excuse for your wellness or your dietary tips like, yeah,
(09:34):
kill those two guys and don't invite them, but don't
not invite the guys who are sober because they're still
your friends. It sounds like he just wants to live
in the past. And by the way, once your balls
start sagging and start getting gray hair and bald and tits.
Like Nick, you realize life is okay as you get older.
(09:54):
You just gotta let yourself grow up.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
Dude. What Yeah? As I was reading this, I was like, Oh,
this guy probably just sucks.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
Dude.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
I want to invite the guys that don't drink. Dude.
Everyone's gonna grow up and it's not gonna be like
college forever. They're gonna get married and have kids. Then
no one's coming to fucking anything.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
And no one's drinking except at the wedding, right and
possibly the christening because those you gotta get wasted because
that kid's birthday party is good because they fall in
the pool and drown.
Speaker 5 (10:25):
Yeah that's the point.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah, yeah, you gotta lose those kids at something point.
But she's here, Well, she's a little water on the
brain for her. She knew she had therapy yesterday, going
they're gonna make fun of me. I really want some
tools to like learn how to deal with it because
it is kind of a comedy show, right am I correct?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Well, I have talked to my therapist about it, and
because she listened to it and and she was like,
I don't really like the way that you're being treated.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Fuck you lady, are you including freez?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
And I was defending you. I was like, no, no, no,
like this is like her humor and I'm kind of
me he's just as mean, he's worse. Oh yeah, I
just meant like, you're why but throw me under the bus. No,
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
She you're not invited to our skiing racist again. You
are not gonna go out and hit the slopes.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
I've been silent for the past six minutes. Silence, and we.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Liked it that way.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Okay, raised, and now they're slowly going back.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Wait, no, so your drink things were too mean to you?
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Well, she was just like, I have to say, there
were some things I didn't like.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Maybe she's a bitch. Maybe she don't get humor. You know,
they don't get humor. I don't know how cool my
shrink is. She says, beat up Celia more. She loves
my humor, she enjoys it. She wants to see clips.
Oh wait, she can't see them cause no, But I'm sorry,
(11:53):
your shrink's a pussy. Yeah yeah, and she's probably not
doing a great job at as you're saying from evidence
by how you are going to give you a shrink,
So maybe we got to give you somebody else.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Imagine if I didn't have one at all.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
That's true. Okay, thank you to the tight ass bitch
that you see, Doctor Kuhnt. It's her name, doctor kunt
No it's not. Okay, yes it is.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
I hope she goes on a ski trip and fucking
one of these guys bangs are in the fucking in
the ski slope, in the slope.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
How about this banger in her slope? How about hows
Celia had to defend Ustairs. I will never get over it.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
I did.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
I didn't like some of the things.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
You should have grew up in the Northeast. It would
have been tougher.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, you puss these in New Orleans. Tell me this,
what did she take exception to?
Speaker 4 (12:39):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Sorry? What didn't she like that? We said, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
She didn't tell me specifically. She just like she was
just like, oh, I just didn't like some of like
some of the way that they traded you. And I
was like, no, no, it's like a running joke, like
I get beat up.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
But why did she listen? If she's such a humorless
clam oh, okay, because I because you sent it like
a dumb twice.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Well. No, I was trying to tell her. I was
telling her about my situation when that was going on
in the Fixing Celia episode, and I was just like,
I think this would kind of help you get a
different perspective than just me, you know, listen to this
and that'll help.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
But here's what sucks about her even more. She didn't
see how helpful and fantastic wee oh, but.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Yet she gets to criticize. This is what I don't like.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
You take all of Lisa none.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
You don't get it all again. You see what you write.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
You take her and the houses and the sneaky big
pits and thank you. Yes, I have a mother.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
People can't pick and choose what they like about you.
They ticked the whole package. So you tell her from me.
She wants to get on that fucking phone. We threw
it down, which is not really true, because I would
like Cavin still because she's a shrink. I would be like,
you know, you're right, you know this is okaywhere and
we won't say anything again?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (13:59):
Yeah, is jack grow the fuck up?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Oh yeah, look back to jack Off.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
I could pussy. No, Well, no one wants to drink anymore, do.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
You, Nicko? Because you have guy friends from college and
high school, did you have where you tried because you're
the only single one now, did you try to hold
fast to some of those traditions. I know you didn't
have the ski slope bullshit, but like, did you go, oh,
it's weird now they have kids and we're not doing
the same kind of stuff.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Yeah, I just kind of I kind of saw the writing.
I'll say this, I saw the writing on the wall
because my buddies are with their now wives. They were
with them like my senior year of college, so like
it was winter when I remember it was winter break,
right before my last semester of my senior year, and
I didn't really see them much and they were hit
with these girls at the time, girls all the time. Yeah,
and I was like, they're going to marry these girls.
(14:46):
This is probably things are going to start to change.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
So you saw the writing on the wall.
Speaker 5 (14:50):
Yeah, And like dude, and I had my like I
had my single friends that I went out with, and
like they were in a different and we all hung
out on occasion, like they came out, but like, yeah, no,
I I no, because they were such good friends. I
wasn't like, oh remember.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Because you I know, like they take you out for
your birthday and stuff and you go to a steakhouse
and have a cigar and so it's like it's an
elevated and changed thing, but it's still the same people
and still the good times and memories. If you don't
evolve at all, I mean, it's really ugly and suddenly
you're bragging about going out on Blackout Wednesday in New Orleans.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
We did have a friend that was like all nostalgic
and gave.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Us that mean, mean angry emoji face.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
I'm gonna fuck her.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
They're sexually harassing you. Yeah, ug you and he's gonna
have sex with you? What be the opposite?
Speaker 5 (15:52):
But I actually tell you a quick story. Uh, we
used to go out the night before Thanksgiving all the time,
Like no, practically, oh yeah, I'll tell you this story.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
We went out for a good I mean, you know
from eighteen to probably were like twenty six, twenty seven, right,
that's just but ever you go to the bar, Well,
I loved it. Every year. I was like, this is
the most fun night of the year that in New
Year's I loved right. There's one year we were probably
twenty seven and maybe we're at the bar. We're doing
(16:25):
it right. Everyone's going around, we're talking to each other.
We see everyone we ever fucking knew, our football coaches
from high school are there. It's like everyone you've ever
known in your whole life. And then my group of
friends was like eight of us. We just like looked
at each other about an hour in and we were like,
you guys want to go to the diner? Yes, And
we went to the diner and then we never did
that shit again.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Happened to me when I was twenty eight or twenty nine.
I was working at Rolling Stone and you'd get a
lot of free tickets, and I remember once sitting there
watching ac DC and Angus Young was probably like fifty
or sixty years old, looking elderly in those little schoolboy
shorts that he wears and stuff, and I go, I'm
(17:05):
too old to be watching Angus Young think he's young.
I was like, never, I'm never going to a concert
like this again, like a heavy metal show and a
big arena or something. So we all have to grow up.
So Jack, what's the name Jack? Mayhoff, Jack me.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Off, Jack gave for pay.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, he needs to just go uh figure out why
he needs to hold onto the past so much. Yeah,
and just go gluten free while you're at it. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
I also want to know how old this. This triggers
me because I want to know how old he is
because those guys at parties when I used to go,
even in my late twenties. You go to a house
party and people are you're not drinking, I'd be like, oh,
what are we at the Rugby house? Are you gonna
pressure me?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Shut the fuck up, dude.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
They would stick a beer bottle like up your asshole.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Yeah, well that makes me come But like, besides.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
That, this episode has been called what Not to Play
to Celia's Shrink because you would hate this one. Now
we'll be back next week maybe if the therapist says
it's okay? Nick? Where can people listen?
Speaker 4 (18:08):
Hey?
Speaker 5 (18:09):
Baby, know what it is? You can listen on Oh,
you can listen to this show. If you guys want
to write in, you can email us at Shrink this
show at gmail dot com. Okay, and if you want
to listen to us, which I know you do, clam,
(18:30):
you could find us on your iHeartRadio app or wherever
the hell you get podcasts.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Okay, I heard app.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
You better be iHeart app. Dude in Harrisburg, Quill
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