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November 11, 2025 17 mins

In this mini-episode of the pod, Lisa, Nick, and Celia tackle the wild world of delusion and misplaced ambition — from open-mic disasters to “I’m-gonna-make-it” maniacs. Lisa lays down the truth: passion’s great, but sometimes the dream needs to take a nap.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta. I know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. This podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
These. You need help, You're the problems. Come on, come down,
go leab, take a pill. I think you're insane. Do

(00:37):
what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Hey, everybody,
welcome to shrink this with Lisa Lampanelli many episode number
whatever it is. I know you missed this. You couldn't

(00:58):
live without us, So until season two, We're gonna take
one letter that corresponds the one episode of season one
and then rehash you talk about it. Yent to ri
up and have a good time. Here with me is who.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
I'm a Nick Scopes on Instagram and TikTok follow me.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
I loving it like I'm back. You've been here, but
I'm back. That is true. You are back with a
vengeance and of course are slightly annoyed, bitter twat of
a whatever she is today. Our producer Sell ya Romano,

(01:42):
who can be reached at? Tell them sell.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
You if you play it right?

Speaker 4 (01:48):
What does that mean?

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Oh boy, she doesn't have to you have to explain it. Okay,
So where can they find you?

Speaker 4 (01:58):
Clam celiaunderscore underscore.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
It's really shitty. I'm gonna find her a better one.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
I can't pay for me to get Celia Romano.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
No, okay, okay, so wait, look up Celia Romano right
now and see if it's somebody famous, let's see. And
then why would we have to pay her anyway?

Speaker 4 (02:22):
Because then I.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Don't know it? Said so she'd like fall four founder.
Let's see, Ramaiah, let me see. Let's see what she
has to offer. No, there's not is there one? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (02:33):
Ninety two followers? Two posts?

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Fucking loser, no poor thing. I mean, she probably doesn't
even post because she's just a person. She's not like
you was a thirsty bit. You needs to pretend they
have followers.

Speaker 5 (02:47):
I have bolts check.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
I have nineteen hundred more followers than her.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Oh my god, I I want to kill you.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
I know that. I know math Well, you should be
sorry that you compare and despair me.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
See let's see.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Oh no, don't, don't oh no, dare you are we
I've got the month of May, I do.

Speaker 6 (03:11):
Yeah, it's temptations, bro come on, wow, then you're gonna
get to my dead dog.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
And then what oh well, speaking of dead dog, that
groundhog and.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
What the fuck was that? It was a dead dog
to cook the dead dog.

Speaker 6 (03:30):
Still winter and the groundhog made it still winter. So
I was like, kill the groundhog and cook it.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Like you know what, some people have to realize they
don't even really have a way with words. They don't
have that turn of phrase, that comedic thing. But you
got other qualities. And we've talked you how to say
thank you? How's that? You know how to say thank you?
How's that great? I still think we should have just
cooked the dog on the hubachia. That's not what I said.

Speaker 6 (03:58):
The roundhog like the one that comes out during Groundhog
Day on February first.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
No, I get it, well, like I don't know what
groundhog Day is? Yeah, I know. I have four fucking
houses at the same time. They all had a ground
two of them, their heads come up, they all leave O.
The one head going down was winter or not you count?
That's what I'd like to say. What the fuck is

(04:25):
the show about. This is literally how you lose listeners.
This is do you think?

Speaker 6 (04:30):
So?

Speaker 3 (04:31):
I think?

Speaker 2 (04:31):
So? All right, well, hey, anyway, we're gonna go back
to our episode called Big Dream zero clue. You know
this was about having delusions, whether it's financially or for
a career. Suppose you, like I don't know, you grew
up in New Orleans and you were thinking to yourself,
I want to be on the read you some day.

(04:54):
But I say the inWORD lot. My name is Celia,
and it's she's she had to lose her illusions carried
her all the way to our Heart Media, which is
a big deal, Like this is not a shitty little company.
So Celia, whatever gave you the balls to think you
could work at iHeart? Because I think that is like
we have to have some kind of In the episode

(05:15):
we discussed having a little bit of delusional belief in
ourselves that we can do it. What made you think
that you were worthy knowledge?

Speaker 6 (05:23):
I had a lot of knowledge of pop culture and music,
and it wasn't necessarily radio, So I just kind of
focused on what I knew, which was music and pop culture.

Speaker 4 (05:34):
And also I knew that.

Speaker 6 (05:35):
I was passionate enough, like because I wanted it so
bad I knew I would be able to find a
way to do it.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
So I guess, yeah, delusion.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
I mean, and never neglect your big knowledge base, which
is of course the groundhog. Yes, because that.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
Important shit on the habachi growl.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
But it's true, like talent, I'd rather take somebody who's
seventy percent talent thirty percent, just like you know what
passion I'm going for it. I think those are the
people are gonna make it.

Speaker 4 (06:04):
What if I don't have this seventy Why I wasn't.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
Talking about you. I was talking about my favorite people. Okay, okay,
So Nicki's you have some letters that we ignored from
last time. I do, Oh my god, gol, what are they?
Here's what I love. By the way, we've talked about
how when I print these out, I read them. I've
read them a recycled paper. So what is that on

(06:26):
the back.

Speaker 5 (06:27):
Your shipment from Erosion rug Corp.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
I ordered these little rugs because my dogs. I have
three rescue dogs, and they literally like, you can never
have expensive rugs anymore when you have dogs, because they're rescues,
they're not trained.

Speaker 5 (06:48):
Well.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
I did my best, and I was like, okay, so
those are rugs for the dogs. What's on the other page?

Speaker 5 (06:55):
What is this the root pick sangra retreat.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
So what I do is no, that's by the way,
you fucking racist that says it says a way to
the camera. Wait, by the way, it's bipuck bie racial
people of color. Whats black indig.

Speaker 5 (07:22):
Non binary sweater tits with color.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Here's what that is. When Cropolo sends me, I'm old fashioned.
When cropol sends me their newsletter, I it's so long
with the offerings they have there. I print it out
and then I go through them to see what program
I want to attend there. It's a yoga meditation place
I've talked about, so that one happened to be one
that I will not be attending because it's for black

(07:48):
indigenous people of color and I don't think I'm allowed there.
So that's why I was on the back. Anyway, what's
the letter? By biopic? It's a biopic about people in
color indigenous guys. All right, your delusional fuck By the way,
you have a little delusion, right or no? Or you

(08:09):
may have the opposite.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
I think I.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
Think you have no delusion when it comes to stand
up and quickness and the way your mind works. You
know talent. I don't think you question it, but I
think you have it when it comes to you have
a fake it till you make it thing when it
comes to how you look, because you always like act

(08:37):
like you look better than you do.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
What I've learned Apollo the Black, Indigenous, Biracial gay trans
People Organization is that it's about what's on the inside.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
It is true.

Speaker 5 (08:54):
I don't know. Honestly.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
The older I get, the more I realize. Don't get
me wrong. I I would love I need to lose weight,
and I don't feel the most comfortable. But at the
same time, I'm.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Like, you're fine.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
I don't love it. But at the same time I'm like, eh, still.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
Getting the d well. It is true you are. I'm
proud to tell you.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
You told twenty four year old me, who was just
jacked and gorgeous with.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Abs, did you have hair at the time, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
But it never was great. It was a little spiky guido.
That's it. That's all I have. If you told twenty
four year old me like like the Ghosts of Christmas pass,
if you went back and you were like, hey, I
know you're all ripped and handsome. Now a couple of
years from now, you're gonna be thirty seven, you're gonna
be bald, and you're gonna have tits, and the same
quality of woman is gonna be interested in you. Is

(09:45):
that true or even better? And I'm gonna go no,
you go, Yeah, You're gonna be fifty pounds overweight and
women they are gonna want to talk to you, and
you have fucking literal utters hanging from your body.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Why do you wink? Why is it women just to
have poor self esteem?

Speaker 5 (10:03):
Celia?

Speaker 3 (10:05):
Okay, I think I talked about it real quick seriously
on the way down with Lisa. It's like me and
my buddies were talking to like, if you are a man,
I feel like nowadays, with two percent emotional intelligence, which
he has, it's like you don't even have to I mean,
I'm probably like more like thirty five forty, but.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
I know, you know, you do work yourself, but.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Yeah, if you have any sort of emotional intelligence, it's
just like, Plus, I'm in the later thirties, so you
meet people who have like been through the bullshit and
they're like, yeah, I'm I bang the hot guy. Let's go.
This guy's fucking hilarious, and he's fine, and he's a
little he's somewhat emotionally intelligent.

Speaker 5 (10:40):
I don't care.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
I'll I like it. I like it how you're when
you're saying you're going like this, and the Bengal arm
thing you shake it, don't flex. Now that you're Cora,
I gotta throw up, all right.

Speaker 5 (10:58):
Not my best, not my best? Yeah, I get there.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
Like this episode, not our best, go ahead letter.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
I like these things. This is fun, Dear Lisa. My
friend Julian recently quiz job as a lawyer to become
a comedian.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
No, no, no, no, what an idiot? I know. I
hate him.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
He's not funny, but he thinks he is. I went
to one of his shows to support him, and he
got no laughs except for the ones I forced out. Listen, Dad,
you didn't have to write.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
In about my shows, Julian.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
What's what's worse is that he thought he killed man.
Nothing worse than that guy. It was honestly so bad.
Do I tell him that comedy might be not my beat?
Comedy did was okay? That comedy might not be the
best fit for him? Or sorry? I let him chase
his dreams, thinks Amani, who's part of the biopic sounds

(11:50):
name in Austin, Texas.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Wait, so she's she's given us? Is it a she?

Speaker 3 (11:55):
I can't tell Monny, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, that's a chick name. I think so. The guy's
devoid of talent. Did she say if it's his first
time on stage?

Speaker 3 (12:06):
I would assume. So he was a lawyer. He probably
made a bunch of money and he's like, I'm bored,
let's do this.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
But I also think, like I've seen comics go up
even recently, Like I'm very supportive teacher. So two of
my students didn't open mic recently. And yes, you could
tell the ones who are just doing dick jokes and
stupidity and they've got nothing and no soul. But I
did see a guy that I was like, you know,
he's not getting any laughs, but there's a little something there,

(12:33):
there could be something there, And I was like, should
I help him? And because I want to be canonized,
and you know, we never had a Saint Lisa, and
Saint Elizabeth is different that fucking cunt. I don't support her.
I want to be Saint Lisa. I go let me
volunteer to help this guy.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
Yeah, so I think.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Sometimes even though she's was the only one providing the laughs,
he might have a little something to stick in the game.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
Four.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
So, I don't know, it's hard to tell someone to quit,
Like there's oftentimes I've wanted to go up to people
and just say, your time would be spent pursuing something else.
Do you have any other interests? But then maybe they
worked do enough to get it going, So I don't know.
I don't think her two choices are should I tell
him to quit or support him?

Speaker 6 (13:22):
Like?

Speaker 2 (13:22):
What were her two choices again at the end?

Speaker 5 (13:25):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (13:26):
Do I tell him comedy might not be the best
fit for him or let him chase his dream?

Speaker 2 (13:30):
I don't think you have a choice, by the way,
because he'll chase that dream behind your back. Like there
are men who will just sneak out of the house
and go to an open mic. Would that be funny?
Like you guy who's not cheating just running to New
York Comedy Club in Stanford get an again and being
like I'm going up on a Monday at five. So
I think, like you just have to let people chase

(13:53):
things till the wheels fall off and you have to
sit there and watch and you have to be uncomfortable
with it. So meaning we don't have to rush into
fix it because it's about our discomfort with this guy
and him not getting what you want for him because
she wants him to get laughs, or else she wouldn't
have provided the fake ones. Yeah, does this make sense

(14:15):
to you?

Speaker 6 (14:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (14:16):
I mean, listen, he's not hurting anybody. He's annoying people
for ten minutes at a time. Yeah, he was a
lawyer before. I'm sure it was annoying then, too.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
That's true. They're always annoying whatever. I think it's because too, Like,
doesn't everyone who's at least with half a brain get
it after a while that this is not the path.

Speaker 5 (14:37):
Because they don't.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Well, yeah, that's true, because we've seen guys who've been
in it ten years and we're just like, how do
you even stick to it?

Speaker 3 (14:45):
Bro? After a month and a half, I didn't get
one laugh, it would have been over. I'm like, all right,
it's over. I think I'm done.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
So it wasn't like where you would have stuck with
it because you just knew it was meant to.

Speaker 3 (14:57):
Be or that third and then I was like Okay,
there might be something here, right if it was like
a year in and nothing was, Like Okay, this is what's.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
So hard to tell somebody to quit. I mean, no
one wants to do that more than me. I love
telling people find something else, find a hobby, do something hobby. Yeah,
but but also like I know a lot of people,
by the way, who they don't suck. But you're like,
this isn't really going anywhere, right, Like, how do you tell?

(15:29):
That's even harder because they've gotten a little bit of
affirmation from it, Like, oh, so, I guess for her,
the advice is the advice isn't about the asshole who's
doing comedy, who's clearly an unfunny jew. Well, you said, lawyer.
So I'm like, okay, how about you just your role
in this is to step aside. You don't have to

(15:51):
go see him anymore, you don't have to go fake laughs,
you don't have to co sign on any of it,
and you just have to be uncomfortable with the knowledge
that you have no power over this guy. And it's
not up to you to shatter the dream for you
know who. You need to calling the professionals for that

(16:12):
right to shrink this show at gmail dot com and
Lisa will shatter your dreams for you.

Speaker 3 (16:17):
That's rights, dude.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
We should do a whole episode on that where people
just write in and have me call their friend and
tell them they suck. Could we do that? I think so? Now, Okay,
what am I going to tell him? Just to kill himself?
At this point it's amounted to nothing, Bob the food
of your loins that turned to a fat trainer enjoy
with very short fingers. I just noticed, that's all. Yeah,

(16:42):
they're not cute? Hey, Nick? Where could people listen to
this podcast.

Speaker 3 (16:48):
To tune into the universe and you hear it the
iHeartRadio app or wherever you find a podcast.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
But I would argue my Heart might be your best bet.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
Probably.

Speaker 5 (17:03):
I mean, we'll see, who knows.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
We might be back next week. Fine,

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