December 16, 2025 • 17 mins
In this mini-episode, Lisa, Nick, and Celia unpack the difference between joking about your pain and hiding inside it. When self-deprecation turns into self-destruction, and humor becomes a shield instead of a tool, it might be time to pause the punchlines. A sharp, honest look at when comedy heals—and when it just keeps the wound open.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta I know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. His podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
strain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These You need help, you're the problems. Come on, come
do go cleab, take a pill. I think you're insane.
(00:37):
Do what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. Nick
head sex with his mind back. Just kidding. We're having
a camera, off camera discussion about sex, which we have
to stop because none of us have any Well, Nick
(00:59):
kind of probably does.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I'm out there fucking yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah, Well we can get it. That's why I learned
that from my friend Bobby, who's half black. He uh,
if somebody's hot, they go he can get it. I
love that, and you know some people can get it, dude.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
He's well.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
We went to go see h Titanik, Yes there was.
One of the leads in the show was like a
like a short Italian guy from Staten Island.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yes, Tommy, very.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Handsome, and Bobby was sitting next to me, and Bobby
leans in and he goes, I love me a short can.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
And I started laughing so hard. He's so fun.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Look him up, Tommy Bracco, b R A C c O.
He can get it, he can get it.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
I splits it full splits.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Splits and on a short king. That's a talent, you know.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
By the way, I'm Lisa, how are you baby? Yeah,
we're here with Shrink This and we're doing a little
tiny episode for you this week while we killed time
until season two in January, and we revisit episodes weekly
to see what we missed. So the episode we are
going to now is one that I loved because it
(02:09):
was fully yelling at Nick almost the whole time. It
was called Tea and Sympathy and Penis jokes because it's
about deflecting with humor, which, by the way, since taping
that episode, Nick has stopped deflecting with humor as much
like I feel like I'm not going to applaud it
because it would encourage you to go back. He's gotten
(02:31):
more where he can sit with the serious topic and
leave a tender moment alone. As Billy Joel said, So, Nick,
have you actually worked on that. I mean, I do know.
Oh wait once it was pointed out to you by
me and I'm sure multiple others that you just deflect
with humor. Do you rein it in a little now?
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I think it just depends where I am and what's happening.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
There are moments where I'm like, I will catch myself
maybe and I'll be like, I'm be like I too
much right now, Like I'll ask people around me, this
is too much?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And do they ever be honest like I was?
Speaker 4 (03:09):
It depends I think everyone when I'm around, if I'm
being honest, everyone's having so much fun that they don't
really care. Like at work it's like welcomed, like no
one really cares. There are moments where I'm like, I
have to focus now in this meeting, right, pay attention.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
But like, but like I imagine at a wedding, you're a blast.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
I'm the fucking center of attention.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, because I had me. Yeah it's yeah, it's never
the groom. Yeah, because I had to miss our friend
Bo's wedding. From what I hear tell though, you were
a phenomenal success.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
We had fun. Man, I love weddings so much. I
was there you know, like those glow sticks they give
you a wedding is like the thing I pretended to
suck them like dicks.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Yeah, that's real funny.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Yeah, you don't even know if what's the last time
you sucked to dix?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah? Celia? Oh by the way, also here is Celia
at Celia underscore. So, so when is the last time
you sucks a glows stick?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
A glow stick a real penis?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I'm not telling you that.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Wh No, that's the thing, y'all said.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
We y'all, yeah, we did.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
We go in Gumbok the night before.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
You guys.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
You guys said you were like, oh, because none of
us are having any what if I just don't tell
you any of my business?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Well, you're you're having sex with who? Again?
Speaker 5 (04:38):
What if I just don't tell you?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I don't understand why you wouldn't though.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Because I'm weird.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I'm weird about that.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
You're worried about a few things.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Bitch, Yeah, that's the list. This is true. This is true.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
I was who, I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Tell All right, when's the last time you have to
say names? Six months ago?
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Listen to this, So.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
What you did your mom sucked a few dicks? I
mean got don't want any.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Chance, and you know I can't have a baby from oral,
but we'll teach you that later.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, this show has turned into sex.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Yeah, it's probably.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Let's write the course. Let's make us more about some depth. Okay,
So Dick, no, oh yeah, deflecting with you were which
we just did.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Justice, don't do that at home.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Don't do that at home. Let your man or woman
or child have your serious attention. Now go Nick.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Okay, god, so our first letter. Yes, dear Lisa, I'm
a thirty five year old comic.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Oh no, just quit die kill yours.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I'm a thirty five year old comic and you have
always been one of my heroes.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Well, it's about time there's a compliment. It's been weeks.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
My act is basically me making fun of myself. Oh
my looks, my poor judgment, my inability to meet a
guy ce Celia. Lately, after shows, even if I do well,
I feel like shit. Oh you're kidding. Do you think
constantly making fun of myself on stage is damaging? Thanks
Victoria in Austin, Texas.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Wow, that's deep, because I think because it sounds like
it's so constant, and because it's just the truth that
words have power. If you're constantly telling yourself you're a
piece of shit, that's gonna not go well. I think
what would be great if she could get some help
(06:25):
and figure out how to not really believe those things
about herself so she could say it. In other words,
I could make a billion jokes about myself being stupid,
and because I know it's not true, it wouldn't hurt me.
I could walk off the stage of guy fucking take
the money and run who gives a shit? Or make
jokes about me being not funny, like duh, I'm funny.
(06:48):
It's fine. But if say it was an issue that
really bothered me, like something that I go, oh, I'm
a shitty What am I bad at?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
No one here can think.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Of anything, honestly, nothing, No email us this show.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
No.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Suppose it was at a time where I was like,
I'm a failure because I'm a terrible uh sister or
aunt or.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Daughter.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Suppose I was at that point in my life that
I felt those things. I would get off that stage
and feel like I wanted to eat a gun. So
I don't blame her. I think she needs to work
on the internal If she wants to keep the jokes,
but there's no way to not work on that and
keep doing those jokes. Yeah, it's never worth it to
feel bad after a show.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
Never, absolutely. I mean this is actually we talked about this.
I can't remember last night, night before or whatever, but
I remember when I when I was, you know, in
the beginning of comedy, I had I wanted to talk about,
like sometimes you get a little like high Horsey, like
I want to make like for me, it was like
make my mom dying funny. I want to make how
my grandmother died funny. Like I would write jokes like
(07:55):
she was in a car accident, and I would be like, oh,
I'm gonna make this a funny thing, right, And I
told you that, and you were like, sure, you can
make that stuff funny, but like you need to be
okay with it or first and foremost, the audience is
going to tell that you're not okay yep, and they're
gonna be like that it might bother you as well.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And I was like, right, yeah, like dirty.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
He's like, if you're cool with it, great, Yeah. I say,
I'm bald and have tits on stage all the time,
and I'm like it doesn't affect my anything. Yeah, and
if I were to talk about deep shit like that.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Well, yeah, it's like they that thing about they say,
write from your scars, not from your wounds. If it's not,
it's still an open wound. You can't talk about it. It
has to be processed by you done. That's why people
wait to write the book until they're ready. So like
Elizabeth Gilbert's new book not new anymore, but a couple
of months ago, came out with a book called All
the Way to the River about her codependency and love addiction.
(08:53):
She had to be five years sober from it to
be able to talk about it, right, And it's deep
because of that because she's not talking from the Liz
Gilbert who's like on the floor in the bathroom going
oh my god, like how can I live without this man?
How can I uh not call that person out of codependency.
It's like not solved because once an addict, always an addict.
(09:16):
But at least it's she didn't have time that she
can put that behind her. Yeah, there's autobiographies about you know,
you know, rape or sexual assault, and then they can
do it. But after it's a little bit more processed,
so they're not gonna kind of go off the rails internally.
And that's what it sounds like, this poor woman's doing. Yeah,
(09:37):
and also where names what Victoria? And also like you're
a woman comic. How funny can you be? I mean
there's no but rarely are they.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
You don't even have one mortgage?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I have like twenty seven and they're all paid. All right,
it's wow. Listen, Okay, Like suppose like I had lost
all my money like a Bernie made off or something
until I process that like shame because you know, they'd
be shame involved with like investing with the wrong person
or oh my god, I'm such an idiot? How do
(10:13):
I do that? And my parents taught me to be
good with money. I couldn't talk about it on stage
if that had happened too soon. Have you ever actually
gone on stage with something too soon in front of
an audience.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
I don't know. I think I've been pretty cautious and
like protectful of myself when it comes to that. I
really haven't. No, I don't think I have. You know,
there are audiences where I'm like, uh, like I had
this bit where I was like you know, I'm single,
I'm the last single my friend of my friend group, and.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
People go, oh, I hate when they do that projected
feeling sorry for it.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Fuck, that's not like a thing that what are we doing?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Yeah, yeah, it's like I'm good with it.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Yeah, it's like it's okay. But yeah, I think it
just depends. No, I haven't really gone on stage.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I did. I did one joke.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
About my mom, but it was it was a It
was from the point of view if I went on
a date with a girl and she sensed that I
was talking around my mom being dead, and she sensed
it and she did like a funny hand motion of
like she's like, did your mom And she went.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Like this, oh, like rise to heaven?
Speaker 4 (11:19):
And I was like, yeah, that's the funniest, Like that
was funny enough where I could talk about it.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Right, Celia's disgusted by it.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
That's really funny, don't.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Well, they're not dating anymore, so you I think too.
It's that whole thing about like when a friend, when
you know it's time has passed enough to joke with
them about something that happened to them, you know, like
you know when to time it might pick a year,
might take two months, two weeks, but you kind of
(11:48):
know when they're cool with being made fun of about it, right,
Not that told too soon?
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yea was.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
There was a lot of too soons.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
We did that roast for our buddy Bow for his
past are at a party. It was totally his idea
and not Lisa's. No, exactly, but like I knew, like
one of my buddies that it was a comic with me.
He texted me, he's like, your.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Mom how old were you and your mom died?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
And I was like, oh boy, here we.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Go, here we go, And but I'm like, whatever, we
just sposed started laughing, but like they know that, like
it's to the point where like it's not that big
a deal a very long time ago.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And then the joke he did was so not horrible.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yeah, Like it was just.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Like kind of a segue to something that was pretty funny. Yeah,
So I was like, Okay, he's not saying, isn't it
funny his mom died when he was six?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Yeah, No, the thing is because she did a breast
cancer and I have tits, so there's always that correlation.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Yeah, he cut his tits off and on his mother
or something yeah like that.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
There you go, oh there you go? Are there? Every
it's things where you're like too soon. I can't take
a joke about that.
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Yeah, actually it happened here.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Oh Jesus Christ, we're gonna get No. I don't have
to know. No, No, I love it.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Which one it was like one time it was off air?
Oh yeah, and I think something had just happened with
my father.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
God, he's person I love my worship him. Go ahead,
And I think you were like, oh it's me now
it was you that first you want to have sex
with you? Now I'm a bad That.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Was understood when I said, like it was here, No, no.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, that's true because I am really ahead of the ship.
Go ahead.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
And you were just like, oh my God, like is
your dad gonna like do this again? And I was
like not in a good mood because it had happened
like the night before, and so it was just like.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It's my faulty, here's what you should do. Then just
go too soon. Yeah, just so little whisper, go too soon.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
I mean, for all in all seriousness, And I would
never defend Lisa because her he hates me so much. No,
but if you are genuinely upset by something and you
tell me she has zero, like I get it, hurt
the comedy and the she's retired. Yeah, if you were
actually ever upset about something and you told her, she'd
(14:25):
be like all right, that's oh god.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, I have a lot, and I have all filed
in my head who you don't joke with about certain things.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
And like one time, my friend we joke about how
my sister is just kind of like my younger sister
even though she's five years older than me, and like
I take care of her kind of, and one of
my friends like, god, she's helpless.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And I was like, oh, but that's a whole no, correct,
the whole thing where I can shit on my family
but you can can't.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
I was like that's not okay, Yeah, that's bad because
and then immediately was like, oh my god, like I
didn't mean it like that, Like I was like joking
for that came off wrong, and I was like it's okay,
Like I get it, but like, don't do that again.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I broke up a friendship over that. Yeah, because I
remember when my mom was really sick and all, and
a friend of mine of thirty five years made a
comment about how someone in my family wasn't helping enough,
and I just go, that's not helpful. And then like
I just never took the call again because I was
just like, I get to say whatever I want about
(15:26):
my family. You don't. Yeah, and again that's it's kind
of Italian maybe, But also then, but the timing wasn't right,
So I apologize I made fun of your dad. Oh no, no,
just say thank you for the apology. Do it right,
I thought that wasn't don't look down. You look me
in the eye. Come on, I know it's better than me. Nick, No,
(15:46):
nobody's better than me. Sorry that hurt your feelings. See,
I didn't say I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings,
because that is not an apology. So I know how
to apologize. Great, I'm sorry that hurt your feelings. And
I would hope in the future just say oh, you
know too soon, yeah, or gosh, that's a tender spot
or whatever. Not speaking up, it's all right. I'm used
(16:06):
to like people who don't like confrontations, yeah, because I
love them. Uh huh. And that's a great personality trait
because you just go, hey, man, that hurts. So if
you could not that'd be great. But I deal with
people all the time who just because a childhood they
don't want to bring stuff up. It gets them in trouble.
So you just have to accept that. So see that
nice tender moment between us where we didn't deflect with humor.
(16:30):
See who's better than me? Nick? Say it? Thank you
very much. By the way, Nick and I now have
an agreement that if he mentions anyone and gives them
a compliment, he has to follow it up with but
not as good as you.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
So here's an example.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
So if you say, say talk talk like say my
buddy Anthony.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Buddy Anthony is one of the best guys around. He'll
take care of He's a sweet man.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Except for you. You're all right, not including you.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I mean it's better than you.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I know it's got more mortgages that have paid off
than you.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Thank you very much. Takes obsessed with mortgages. I think
we've learned a lot we have today, and I think
we're doneping.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
My face Where people listen guess what, guys, we don't know.
You know, you can listen on the iHeartRadio app or
wherever you get a podcasts, but mostly the iHeartRadio app.
If you want to write in, please email us at
shrink this Show at gmail dot com. That is shrink
this Show at gmail dot com. Follow all three of us,
(17:44):
and I'm gonna follow Celia home and beat the ship.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Out of Yay.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Love you,
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta I know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. His podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
strain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These You need help, you're the problems. Come on, come
do go cleab, take a pill. I think you're insane.
(00:37):
Do what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. Nick
head sex with his mind back. Just kidding. We're having
a camera, off camera discussion about sex, which we have
to stop because none of us have any Well, Nick
(00:59):
kind of probably does.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I'm out there fucking yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah, Well we can get it. That's why I learned
that from my friend Bobby, who's half black. He uh,
if somebody's hot, they go he can get it. I
love that, and you know some people can get it, dude.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
He's well.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
We went to go see h Titanik, Yes there was.
One of the leads in the show was like a
like a short Italian guy from Staten Island.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yes, Tommy, very.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Handsome, and Bobby was sitting next to me, and Bobby
leans in and he goes, I love me a short can.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
And I started laughing so hard. He's so fun.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Look him up, Tommy Bracco, b R A C c O.
He can get it, he can get it.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
I splits it full splits.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Splits and on a short king. That's a talent, you know.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
By the way, I'm Lisa, how are you baby? Yeah,
we're here with Shrink This and we're doing a little
tiny episode for you this week while we killed time
until season two in January, and we revisit episodes weekly
to see what we missed. So the episode we are
going to now is one that I loved because it
(02:09):
was fully yelling at Nick almost the whole time. It
was called Tea and Sympathy and Penis jokes because it's
about deflecting with humor, which, by the way, since taping
that episode, Nick has stopped deflecting with humor as much
like I feel like I'm not going to applaud it
because it would encourage you to go back. He's gotten
(02:31):
more where he can sit with the serious topic and
leave a tender moment alone. As Billy Joel said, So, Nick,
have you actually worked on that. I mean, I do know.
Oh wait once it was pointed out to you by
me and I'm sure multiple others that you just deflect
with humor. Do you rein it in a little now?
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I think it just depends where I am and what's happening.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
There are moments where I'm like, I will catch myself
maybe and I'll be like, I'm be like I too
much right now, Like I'll ask people around me, this
is too much?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And do they ever be honest like I was?
Speaker 4 (03:09):
It depends I think everyone when I'm around, if I'm
being honest, everyone's having so much fun that they don't
really care. Like at work it's like welcomed, like no
one really cares. There are moments where I'm like, I
have to focus now in this meeting, right, pay attention.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
But like, but like I imagine at a wedding, you're a blast.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
I'm the fucking center of attention.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, because I had me. Yeah it's yeah, it's never
the groom. Yeah, because I had to miss our friend
Bo's wedding. From what I hear tell though, you were
a phenomenal success.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
We had fun. Man, I love weddings so much. I
was there you know, like those glow sticks they give
you a wedding is like the thing I pretended to
suck them like dicks.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Yeah, that's real funny.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Yeah, you don't even know if what's the last time
you sucked to dix?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah? Celia? Oh by the way, also here is Celia
at Celia underscore. So, so when is the last time
you sucks a glows stick?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
A glow stick a real penis?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I'm not telling you that.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Wh No, that's the thing, y'all said.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
We y'all, yeah, we did.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
We go in Gumbok the night before.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
You guys.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
You guys said you were like, oh, because none of
us are having any what if I just don't tell
you any of my business?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Well, you're you're having sex with who? Again?
Speaker 5 (04:38):
What if I just don't tell you?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I don't understand why you wouldn't though.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Because I'm weird.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I'm weird about that.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
You're worried about a few things.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Bitch, Yeah, that's the list. This is true. This is true.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
I was who, I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Tell All right, when's the last time you have to
say names? Six months ago?
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Listen to this, So.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
What you did your mom sucked a few dicks? I
mean got don't want any.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Chance, and you know I can't have a baby from oral,
but we'll teach you that later.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, this show has turned into sex.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Yeah, it's probably.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Let's write the course. Let's make us more about some depth. Okay,
So Dick, no, oh yeah, deflecting with you were which
we just did.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Justice, don't do that at home.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Don't do that at home. Let your man or woman
or child have your serious attention. Now go Nick.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Okay, god, so our first letter. Yes, dear Lisa, I'm
a thirty five year old comic.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Oh no, just quit die kill yours.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I'm a thirty five year old comic and you have
always been one of my heroes.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Well, it's about time there's a compliment. It's been weeks.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
My act is basically me making fun of myself. Oh
my looks, my poor judgment, my inability to meet a
guy ce Celia. Lately, after shows, even if I do well,
I feel like shit. Oh you're kidding. Do you think
constantly making fun of myself on stage is damaging? Thanks
Victoria in Austin, Texas.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Wow, that's deep, because I think because it sounds like
it's so constant, and because it's just the truth that
words have power. If you're constantly telling yourself you're a
piece of shit, that's gonna not go well. I think
what would be great if she could get some help
(06:25):
and figure out how to not really believe those things
about herself so she could say it. In other words,
I could make a billion jokes about myself being stupid,
and because I know it's not true, it wouldn't hurt me.
I could walk off the stage of guy fucking take
the money and run who gives a shit? Or make
jokes about me being not funny, like duh, I'm funny.
(06:48):
It's fine. But if say it was an issue that
really bothered me, like something that I go, oh, I'm
a shitty What am I bad at?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
No one here can think.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Of anything, honestly, nothing, No email us this show.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
No.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Suppose it was at a time where I was like,
I'm a failure because I'm a terrible uh sister or
aunt or.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Daughter.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Suppose I was at that point in my life that
I felt those things. I would get off that stage
and feel like I wanted to eat a gun. So
I don't blame her. I think she needs to work
on the internal If she wants to keep the jokes,
but there's no way to not work on that and
keep doing those jokes. Yeah, it's never worth it to
feel bad after a show.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
Never, absolutely. I mean this is actually we talked about this.
I can't remember last night, night before or whatever, but
I remember when I when I was, you know, in
the beginning of comedy, I had I wanted to talk about,
like sometimes you get a little like high Horsey, like
I want to make like for me, it was like
make my mom dying funny. I want to make how
my grandmother died funny. Like I would write jokes like
(07:55):
she was in a car accident, and I would be like, oh,
I'm gonna make this a funny thing, right, And I
told you that, and you were like, sure, you can
make that stuff funny, but like you need to be
okay with it or first and foremost, the audience is
going to tell that you're not okay yep, and they're
gonna be like that it might bother you as well.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And I was like, right, yeah, like dirty.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
He's like, if you're cool with it, great, Yeah. I say,
I'm bald and have tits on stage all the time,
and I'm like it doesn't affect my anything. Yeah, and
if I were to talk about deep shit like that.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Well, yeah, it's like they that thing about they say,
write from your scars, not from your wounds. If it's not,
it's still an open wound. You can't talk about it. It
has to be processed by you done. That's why people
wait to write the book until they're ready. So like
Elizabeth Gilbert's new book not new anymore, but a couple
of months ago, came out with a book called All
the Way to the River about her codependency and love addiction.
(08:53):
She had to be five years sober from it to
be able to talk about it, right, And it's deep
because of that because she's not talking from the Liz
Gilbert who's like on the floor in the bathroom going
oh my god, like how can I live without this man?
How can I uh not call that person out of codependency.
It's like not solved because once an addict, always an addict.
(09:16):
But at least it's she didn't have time that she
can put that behind her. Yeah, there's autobiographies about you know,
you know, rape or sexual assault, and then they can
do it. But after it's a little bit more processed,
so they're not gonna kind of go off the rails internally.
And that's what it sounds like, this poor woman's doing. Yeah,
(09:37):
and also where names what Victoria? And also like you're
a woman comic. How funny can you be? I mean
there's no but rarely are they.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
You don't even have one mortgage?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I have like twenty seven and they're all paid. All right,
it's wow. Listen, Okay, Like suppose like I had lost
all my money like a Bernie made off or something
until I process that like shame because you know, they'd
be shame involved with like investing with the wrong person
or oh my god, I'm such an idiot? How do
(10:13):
I do that? And my parents taught me to be
good with money. I couldn't talk about it on stage
if that had happened too soon. Have you ever actually
gone on stage with something too soon in front of
an audience.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
I don't know. I think I've been pretty cautious and
like protectful of myself when it comes to that. I
really haven't. No, I don't think I have. You know,
there are audiences where I'm like, uh, like I had
this bit where I was like you know, I'm single,
I'm the last single my friend of my friend group, and.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
People go, oh, I hate when they do that projected
feeling sorry for it.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Fuck, that's not like a thing that what are we doing?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Yeah, yeah, it's like I'm good with it.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Yeah, it's like it's okay. But yeah, I think it
just depends. No, I haven't really gone on stage.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I did. I did one joke.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
About my mom, but it was it was a It
was from the point of view if I went on
a date with a girl and she sensed that I
was talking around my mom being dead, and she sensed
it and she did like a funny hand motion of
like she's like, did your mom And she went.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Like this, oh, like rise to heaven?
Speaker 4 (11:19):
And I was like, yeah, that's the funniest, Like that
was funny enough where I could talk about it.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Right, Celia's disgusted by it.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
That's really funny, don't.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Well, they're not dating anymore, so you I think too.
It's that whole thing about like when a friend, when
you know it's time has passed enough to joke with
them about something that happened to them, you know, like
you know when to time it might pick a year,
might take two months, two weeks, but you kind of
(11:48):
know when they're cool with being made fun of about it, right,
Not that told too soon?
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yea was.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
There was a lot of too soons.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
We did that roast for our buddy Bow for his
past are at a party. It was totally his idea
and not Lisa's. No, exactly, but like I knew, like
one of my buddies that it was a comic with me.
He texted me, he's like, your.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Mom how old were you and your mom died?
Speaker 2 (12:12):
And I was like, oh boy, here we.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Go, here we go, And but I'm like, whatever, we
just sposed started laughing, but like they know that, like
it's to the point where like it's not that big
a deal a very long time ago.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And then the joke he did was so not horrible.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yeah, Like it was just.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Like kind of a segue to something that was pretty funny. Yeah,
So I was like, Okay, he's not saying, isn't it
funny his mom died when he was six?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Yeah, No, the thing is because she did a breast
cancer and I have tits, so there's always that correlation.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Yeah, he cut his tits off and on his mother
or something yeah like that.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
There you go, oh there you go? Are there? Every
it's things where you're like too soon. I can't take
a joke about that.
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Yeah, actually it happened here.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Oh Jesus Christ, we're gonna get No. I don't have
to know. No, No, I love it.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Which one it was like one time it was off air?
Oh yeah, and I think something had just happened with
my father.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
God, he's person I love my worship him. Go ahead,
And I think you were like, oh it's me now
it was you that first you want to have sex
with you? Now I'm a bad That.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Was understood when I said, like it was here, No, no.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, that's true because I am really ahead of the ship.
Go ahead.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
And you were just like, oh my God, like is
your dad gonna like do this again? And I was
like not in a good mood because it had happened
like the night before, and so it was just like.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It's my faulty, here's what you should do. Then just
go too soon. Yeah, just so little whisper, go too soon.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
I mean, for all in all seriousness, And I would
never defend Lisa because her he hates me so much. No,
but if you are genuinely upset by something and you
tell me she has zero, like I get it, hurt
the comedy and the she's retired. Yeah, if you were
actually ever upset about something and you told her, she'd
(14:25):
be like all right, that's oh god.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, I have a lot, and I have all filed
in my head who you don't joke with about certain things.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
And like one time, my friend we joke about how
my sister is just kind of like my younger sister
even though she's five years older than me, and like
I take care of her kind of, and one of
my friends like, god, she's helpless.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And I was like, oh, but that's a whole no, correct,
the whole thing where I can shit on my family
but you can can't.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
I was like that's not okay, Yeah, that's bad because
and then immediately was like, oh my god, like I
didn't mean it like that, Like I was like joking
for that came off wrong, and I was like it's okay,
Like I get it, but like, don't do that again.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I broke up a friendship over that. Yeah, because I
remember when my mom was really sick and all, and
a friend of mine of thirty five years made a
comment about how someone in my family wasn't helping enough,
and I just go, that's not helpful. And then like
I just never took the call again because I was
just like, I get to say whatever I want about
(15:26):
my family. You don't. Yeah, and again that's it's kind
of Italian maybe, But also then, but the timing wasn't right,
So I apologize I made fun of your dad. Oh no, no,
just say thank you for the apology. Do it right,
I thought that wasn't don't look down. You look me
in the eye. Come on, I know it's better than me. Nick, No,
(15:46):
nobody's better than me. Sorry that hurt your feelings. See,
I didn't say I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings,
because that is not an apology. So I know how
to apologize. Great, I'm sorry that hurt your feelings. And
I would hope in the future just say oh, you
know too soon, yeah, or gosh, that's a tender spot
or whatever. Not speaking up, it's all right. I'm used
(16:06):
to like people who don't like confrontations, yeah, because I
love them. Uh huh. And that's a great personality trait
because you just go, hey, man, that hurts. So if
you could not that'd be great. But I deal with
people all the time who just because a childhood they
don't want to bring stuff up. It gets them in trouble.
So you just have to accept that. So see that
nice tender moment between us where we didn't deflect with humor.
(16:30):
See who's better than me? Nick? Say it? Thank you
very much. By the way, Nick and I now have
an agreement that if he mentions anyone and gives them
a compliment, he has to follow it up with but
not as good as you.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
So here's an example.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
So if you say, say talk talk like say my
buddy Anthony.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Buddy Anthony is one of the best guys around. He'll
take care of He's a sweet man.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Except for you. You're all right, not including you.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I mean it's better than you.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I know it's got more mortgages that have paid off
than you.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Thank you very much. Takes obsessed with mortgages. I think
we've learned a lot we have today, and I think
we're doneping.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
My face Where people listen guess what, guys, we don't know.
You know, you can listen on the iHeartRadio app or
wherever you get a podcasts, but mostly the iHeartRadio app.
If you want to write in, please email us at
shrink this Show at gmail dot com. That is shrink
this Show at gmail dot com. Follow all three of us,
(17:44):
and I'm gonna follow Celia home and beat the ship.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Out of Yay.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Love you,
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