The 15 Minute Morning Show - -6/6/17 Guit Tripping Friends

@RadioBethany @SkeeryJones and @David_Brody discuss friends who, if they don't hear from you for a while, ask "Are you mad at me?"

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
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slash fifteen. What would you talk about on your on

(01:04):
your podcast, firms, when you talk about your podcast, what
you talk about With the exception of the time that
I had to leave early a Memorial Day weekend, but
I've been here for every freaking podcast, and I think

(01:26):
at some point I deserve some kind of recognition, and
if no one's gonna give it to me, I'm gonna
recognize myself. Okay, first of all, you were not here
for a girl's only podcast. Well I was kicked out
of the room for that one. Yes, and Garrett had
to run the board. A couple you've missed, A couple
had a sales meeting, everybody else's. That's not perfect attendance.
By the way, I didn't know that there was attendance

(01:47):
when this was pitched. Originally it was you come to
the ones you can come to. Okay, I didn't know
it was mandatory because it was never told. But if
but you have had great attendance, and congratulate, thank you,
thank you. I wonder who else has had really good
attendance Bethany and me. No, I I've not had the
best attendance recovering. Thanks man, But I've had stuff that

(02:08):
I could not be moved a those days you weren't
here because you had stuff that I was here. Okay.
And by the way, we got a text message yesterday
at this time that said, I don't know if you
guys are recording the podcast yet, But Brody's right. Of
those texts text message comes in every day at this time, yes,
but the ones that say I'm right without even knowing
what I've said yet, love the love that those are fun. Okay, Um,

(02:30):
good job, scary, thank you. Yes, I'm letting for validation.
You get it. You know what you get an attendance.
One of those people that are seeking validation. Okay, don't
use validation sometimes, now, don't. Isn't there something that's similar
going on in your life with people looking for validation
or is it something completely do know you? This is
actually a very good point. Um. Do you guys have

(02:53):
those friends? We're the only time you hear from them
is when they're asking you if you're mad at them? Oh,
all the time I have. I have. And the reason
I'm thinking about this is because it happened this morning.
I have this friend who I adore. I adore him,
but he lives back home, and so I don't get

(03:13):
to see him very often. And he's always on Facebook.
And I don't use Facebook. I only use Facebook for work,
but I don't use it for personal stuff at all.
By the way, is that's why were we are still
not friends on Facebook after four years? Also, when you
say back at home, you're referring to twelve states west
of where you live now, correct? Okay? So um? Yes? So,

(03:34):
so we just never connect because he's always he I
guess what I found out this morning is he's always
trying to reach out to me on Facebook. And that's
why I never see it. And so there have been
several times in the past like year, where he'll just
randomly text me and go, are you mad at me?
And I'm like, no, I'm not, of course not. Why
would I be mad at you? Because I never hear
from you. You never respond. So this morning, are you
mad at me? And I was like no, that came

(03:55):
doing Facebook on a text message and and I finally
realized is what had happened in the miscommunication? What happened?
What happened. But it made me realize, like I've had
friends in the past as well. Who were those are
you mad at me? Friends? And they were only they
only reached out when they were worried about me. Two
things regarding this. First of all, don't try and reach

(04:17):
out to me on Facebook as your first means of
trying to reach out to me, because I'm not going
to see your ship. I'm not going to see your
invite to your party. You want me text me, send
an email even that, or sit sad something that gets
in my face other than a notification that runs in
the background while I have five other notifications on Facebook,
I'm going to miss your party if that's the only
way you're gonna invite me to same thing. Don't direct

(04:40):
message me on Facebook. Facebook to me is this is
a tertiary way of communication, and so is Instagram d
M or Twitter d M or any of that crap.
So get in my face. So, first of all, where
he got went wrong is he should have started dialogue
with you on its via text because you he knows
it's going to pop up. And now if he does

(05:02):
two or three unanswered text throughout the week, then I
would assume, Okay, she's mad at me. Yeah, But so
so there's that. But The second thing that I think
he think he has going on is he's an insecure bastard.
No no, no, no, well he's he's actually he's really lovely.
And I think that the reason that he was so

(05:22):
concerned is because we have been friends for a really
long time, and you know, just like have a I
just adore him. So how do you treat the people
you don't adore? Know he can get away with it
because it's been a miscommunication, Like it's legitimately been a miscommunication.
But like I've had friends in the past, especially in college,

(05:42):
who if you just don't talk to them for like
a month. If you don't, if you're like long distance
friends or people you went to high school with, they
get really passive. Aggressive. Communication works both ways. Why curse
the doctors when you could light a candle? You just
stole my line, which I stole from eleanor Rose. But
it's true, though, Why don't these people just jump in
rather than start with are you mad at me? Start

(06:05):
with something positive that moves the conversation because they can't
imagine that Bethany wouldn't contact them or write them back.
She must be mad. But do you need a starting
point that says, I never mad at you unless I say, hey,
I'm mad at you. There needs to be that because
because the flip side of this is the person who,

(06:25):
when you don't contact them, is mad at you. I got.
I don't know if you guys saw that on my
birthday in January. I have a somebody I grew up with.
We were friends through our childhood and into the early teens,
and then we weren't and our families were friends, so
we would see each other occasionally, but we weren't like
friends friends. A good guy. And then I think I
saw him at a funeral seven or eight years ago. Yeah,

(06:49):
but not socially in since I got married. He was
at my wedding and it was my birthday, and my
birthday wish from him was happy birthday, even though to me,
my brother and I are dead to you and you
probably don't even remember who we are anymore. But I
guess happy birthday. But I guess happy birthday. It was

(07:12):
something like that about to play No, it's not the
curb your enthusiast. I was ready for that. I wrote
that one. No. You know what, though, those people are
fun to like have around a little bit because they

(07:33):
remind you how not to live your life. Yes, but
is that my My guess is the intention there was
that I would see it feel bad and say, this
is the kind of person I really want to cultivate
a friendship with. Again, he won me over because now
I know if I don't call him for two weeks,
once the friendship is back on, he'll give me guilt

(07:54):
about how if I was dead, you wouldn't know it.
I no, now you're more dead to me. But the
best thing, this is the best thing about those people
is that if you don't want to be friends with
them anymore, it requires nothing from you because they're going
to terminate the friendship themselves because we've already terminated it
in their heads up. And the difficult thing with friendships

(08:15):
is that friendships we've all you know, experienced this, and
some friendships just fizzle out and they are no longer
they didn't know longer work. But it's not like relationships.
There's never we've never been taught how to break up
in a friendships. So so it's really nice. When do
people do it themselves when the other friend just does
it themselves, Well, let me ask you this. Then if

(08:38):
somebody falls out of your life over the course of
years because it was a childhood thing and then all
of a sudden they're trying. There's a couple of dudes
that I know from college. I'm not going to give names,
my guest know in your neighborhood, Anthony and Mike, Joe
and Veto. The thing is, I haven't Back then, we

(08:59):
were weren't that great friends. We were kind of acquaintances.
But it's like I don't have room in my life
now to make them full time friends. But I know
that sounds like such a jerky but it's scumback thing.
But I don't you know, I'm not gonna I'm not
gonna entertain it because I I have to at some
point put the stuff, you know, put a kabash on this.

(09:20):
I have to stop it. I can't because I have
other things and other people in other relationships. It's like
my whole life is balancing plates, you know, along with
business and other things. So they just don't they're not
a fit for me right now. I can't they you're
telling me to break up with the person over text
or something up with then then how do you you
That's what I'm saying. It's really hard. I sent an

(09:42):
email with someone I was having a problem with where
they were like, oh, we should get together, we should
hang out because they moved within like a half twenty
minutes half hour of where I live, and they were like, oh,
you know, I'm not that far. We should oh when
So I finally wrote an email back and I said, Um,
you know, my life is really kind of crazy. I've
hectic schedule. I work very early in the morning till
very late at night, and I have three kids. I

(10:05):
barely have time for them. What little time I have
on the weekends I spend with them. I really don't
socialize a lot, and I really have to kind of uh.
As much as I'd love to get together, I really
have to minimize to get togethers with the really the
top of the list, stuff like my family and my
one or two close friends. It's not personal, it's my life.
It's like, it's not your people. And the only problem

(10:29):
is you have no family, you have no kids, you
have no plans, you don't work late, you're always out
in the clubs. I have no excuse, so you don't
you don't get to use that. You're like, oh, I
was gonna go for brunch by myself. I'm gonna go
out to dinner by You know, you go out all
the time. You don't really have a way out. You're left.
You are kind of aft because you go out. You
go out with like large groups of people a lot. Yeah,

(10:50):
where another guy could just swim right in wouldn't be
a problem, couldn't you like swoop that person in A
table for eleven and table for twelve is the same thing.
It's not not when the two groups don't mix. I
mean we I have a long standing rapport with my
close new group of friends. We have our own inside jokes,
our own inside language. So to bring some random outsider
to that that I knew from a different circle of

(11:10):
friends at a different time in my life would just
be it's a little strange, really awkward. It is really weird.
Like I have a friend, a friend. I think this
is an international problem. How do you break up with
friends in France and anywhere? Like, because I have a
friend who I am pretty sure has joined a cult

(11:31):
and I'm not exaggerating, and I think this friend is
trying to recruit me into the cult. Like since we've
been friends, this person has gotten so like so devoted
to this organization organization and really has started to go

(11:53):
from having like a really lovely smile to sort of
having crazy eyes, Like the Pussian's face has changed, and
they I don't know how to end the friendship because
they're a little bit unhinged. Well, it's like it's just
the we like and that's an extreme example of why
friendships end. But like, there is no way to end

(12:13):
a friendship beautifully. At some point they'll reach level five
and not be allowed to speak to the Heathens anymore.
Kind of hope, So you should be fine because right
now I'm still in the recruitment phase. Are they're trying
to sell She's trying to sell you poppies like little
flowers like they're they're trying to Yeah, they're trying to
like get me to come to things. Well, don't come
to things. I don't want to yet. If you two

(12:34):
guys hang out all the time, you can be each
other's excuse. Scary really needs me. He's an emotional wreck. Bethany,
you know Bethany. She's she needs Bethany. I don't hang
out enough. Well, that's what I'm saying. We really need
to hang out more. By the way. I mean, I
mentioned a minute ago that there's really no difference in
a table for eleven and the table for twelve. That
will be tomorrow's podcast. Rant. Yeah, I've got a table reservations. Rant. Oh, well,

(12:57):
you always I don't know if you guys know this trick,
but you always start with the higher amount for the
restaurant and then just you know, tell them a lower amount.
It's easier to go from twelve to eleven if someone
doesn't show up, or twelve to eight, or you know,
six to four, rather than having a table of four
and then two extra people come to the party. And
so sometimes I kind of like when I call a restaurant,

(13:19):
I actually add two invisible people to the less smart
except when you're a table for eight, and then they
put two fours together and then you tell me you
were six. Then they got to move a four put
it too, and they pissed you that they didn't have
anybody because there's people waiting for that four and they're
spent in your food. No, they don't stop it, but
I needed to think that I've just accommodated two people
unexpectedly that are on their waiting. Well, you know, who

(13:40):
could sit at those two seats, your two buddies from
high school to be blown off, Tony and Vinnie, oh,
Zeppi and Guido and Bethany. Have you ever met a Nunzio?
You all forget You're not going to meet him in

(14:00):
law school. No offense to any Nunzio's name. You know
who are lawyers, but just Nunzio is the guy who
is at the pizza place when you got there, But no,
at what time you showed up. He's already Nunzio. He's
already there is Nunzio short for something. Yeah, Nunzio is
short for a plastic surgeons. How do you spell nunzio?

(14:24):
And you like, hold on? How do you think you
spell it exactly? That's a real name, yeah, Nunzio, nun Nunzio. Yeah, yeah,
you looking at me like that road you know that
are plastic surgeons. I don't I know, but I made it. Okay, now, Nunzio,
plastic surgeons are gonna call you unfortunate names like okay,

(14:46):
we don't know, Okay, hold on when we play this,
like I'm giving you an example, like when we play
all Rosalie's hold on, not TRAMPI but no, but we
play that game on the Elvis Duran Morning Show. There
are eleven people timing in and it's Elvis's show. When
there's three of us on a little podcast that, by
the way, please spread the word with a thirty seven

(15:08):
of you that tweet us and love this podcast, please
spread the word and send the links out with each
But here's the thing. When you, Bethany and I um
send out the Oh every Nunzio is not a rocket scientist.
Nunzio is gonna show up here and beat our ass.
So I love Nunzio. And if I don't say that
I don't love Nunzio, let's just say we've never met Nunzio,

(15:30):
who's a plastic surgeon. You know what. Tweet us and
use hashtag Nunzio. I've had Nunzio work on my car.
If you want to comment on Nunzio, I just I
just think you're setting your son up for failure. I
don't think you pick your own name. Oh oh in uh.
Somewhere there's a Anthony Nunzio Labruna, who is a plastic

(15:52):
z Bizarrow World. That's where fifteen minute morning show m.