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April 3, 2017 16 mins

We all have "did you know facts". Plus,Nate tells us about what he saw in the park!??!

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Fifteen minute morning show podcast coming up, but we got
to talk about Blue Apron. Thanks to Blue Apron. The
next fifteen minutes around them. Every Wednesday, my Blue Apron
box arrives full of fresh produce, all measured out so
I don't have any waste when I cook these meals
that their chefs come up with. They give you this
easy to read card with every meal, and every meal
is under ten dollars if you actually learn how to

(00:22):
cook from them. And like I said, they're ingredients are
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dollars per meal. Lots of varieties, new recipes every week.
They're flexible with what you want. If you don't want fish,
they won't send fish. If you need to take off
a week or two or the three or four days,
just do it. They don't charge you, and guaranteed freshness
every single meal. They do the heavy lifting, They do

(00:44):
all the shopping, and like I said, they don't give
you too much food seed to waste. Any food. You
just chop it, saute it, and eat it. It's so delicious.
Check out this week's menu. Get your first three meals
for free and free shipping by going to blue Apron
dot com slash fifteen as in fifteen minute morning show
Blue a Bring dot com slash what would you talk

(01:05):
about on your on your podcast present morning show? Do
something scary? And Brody left us very quickly because it's

(01:28):
opening day for baseball, and so they just put their
jackets on left before the show ended, and we're like,
where you going? How we're going? Game doesn't start for
another four hours. Yeah, but taking like doing his eyebrows
takes like twenty minutes each those guys, so they're like
pretty I don't know, they just want to look their best.
So we have Nate in the room. Yeah, Sam Beth,

(01:52):
Danielle Garrett, that's us. I don't think we've ever had
this combination before. Did you know? Interesting fact which I
encourage you all to come up with, an interesting fact
as I van for her that when you shuffle a
deck of cards, the odds are whatever order that deck
of cards is in is the first time ever in history,
since cards have been invented, that that deck has been

(02:14):
in that particular order. Really, because there's fifty two cards
in a deck of cards, and if you shuffle them.
It's almost certainty that that is the first time that
order has ever been in that order with any deck
of cards anywhere. Think about that. Wow, think about that

(02:37):
wearing conversation. Did that come up though? Are you sitting
at a bar. Yeah, these are the lines that I
come up with before I go to the bars to
talk to women. This is real. Then they do. Then
they do exactly what Bethany did. Okay, thanks my friends,
thanks for the drink. Okay, I have a fun fact.
Let's pick out fun facts to pick up boys and bars.

(03:00):
The human eye is so sensitive that if Earth were flat,
you could spot a candle flickering at night from up
to thirty miles away. That's pretty impressive. We should all
make out fun facts to pick up poison bars. I
got another one. If the based on scale, if our

(03:23):
solar system was the size of a quarter, the Milky
Way is the size of the United States of America. Okay,
so that is how small from the Sun to Neptune
is is the size of a quarter, and put that
quarter down on the ground. The rest of the Milky
Way is the United States of America. That's how mad

(03:45):
I got one. Billy Goat urinate on their own heads
is to smell more attractive to femis That's I don't know.
If I can get my stream, then it's big enough
for you to pee on your head. I don't know
if any problems. Did you know movie trailers were originally
shown at the end of movies, hence the name trailers.

(04:09):
Who would stay at the end of the movie though,
people who love Marvel? Oh my gosh, yes, something so
the character. That's exactly what I'm going Jr. Eating. Wait,
did you know during your lifetime you will produce enough
saliva to fill two swimming pools? People, we're talking one

(04:35):
of those swimming pools. I don't know, you know? Having
KFC Kentucky Fried Chicken. He's a Christmas tradition in Japan. No,
it's not. I'm not making it up like I am.
Straight up, this is a This is a fact. I'm
so entertained by this. Cows have best friends. Who are

(04:56):
their best friends other cows? Yeah, they're cows. Damn it.
I was hoping you're gonna say they are really drawn
to porcupine. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.
A group of a group of Kathleen's is called a chardonnay.
A flock of crows is known as a murder. Really,

(05:16):
that's someone dropped the ball. I feel like on that one.
Did you know Michael Angelo burned all of his drawings
so people wouldn't know that he had to practice to
achieve perfection? Oh what a smart man. My life's a lie,
It's perfect. Did I tell you guys? I saw ducks
having sex? Is that called ducking? You've been talking about

(05:43):
that a lot wild animals having sex. I've never seen
wild animals having sex. I just know. So what do
I look like? Described as pretty? It looked pretty brutal.
Did you come in mid coitas or did you see
that I saw? I saw from mounting to almost drowning.

(06:04):
How like? How did he convince her that she was
the one to be mounted? Uh? You know, I came
in right as the courtship dance apparently had ended. And
then I just see these two ducks kind of like,
you know, fussing around, and then the one duck gets
on top of the other duck pushes her underneath the water,
and he's like kind of flapping his wings a little bit,

(06:25):
and he was rearing up a little bit like doing
a wheelie, like popping a wheelie on a bicycle. And
then I'm like, what happened to the other duck? And
then you see this head kind of pop up every
once in a while, and then he would take his
bill and like push the head underwater. It was like kinky.
But then it lasted for about thirty seconds, and then
they both got up and then they both washed off,

(06:46):
and then one float in one direction, the other one
floated the other direction. There's like sex between humans. I
don't know. I wonder if she's pregnant. I don't know.
It's crazy. I've never seen almost did this take the
whole the whole? Oh god, I'd say thirty seconds to
a minute, that's it. Yeah, she probably won't call him back.

(07:12):
I wasn't expecting it, but I kind of regret I
was sitting there. I didn't have my phone out or
anything like. God, I really wish I would have filmed this.
You know, situate it's privacy for them. You're trying to
film it, would say they wouldn't be doing it in
the middle of central parks. They don't know you people
people watching people that cheat these nature documentaries. They sitting

(07:34):
like a blind for days on end, hoping ducks have
sex in front of him. Here I am on a
park benching in Central Park, and I'm like, just happens,
this is happening. There are other animals that have sex
for pleasure. I don't think ducks do. I think monkeys
kind of kind of monkeys, pinobos, pobos do, which is
you're also your favorite brand? They have threesomes, white faced

(07:57):
capuchin monkeys, um a lot of primates. I know chimpanzees.
They've seen female chimpanzees have like fifteen guy fifteen male
suitors in a day. Wow, that sounds exhausting. Like I
watched that video, I cannot swipe right that quickly. A
female lion may mate one hundred times per day over

(08:18):
a period of about a week with multiple partners, and
they think that that is more than necessary for conception.
So it's it might be due to pleasure. I guess
humans aren't the only thing animals that have sex for fun?
Do you think the animals talk about us when we
have sex? Like your cat and your dog? Definitely? Does
anyone else refuse to ever have sex in front of

(08:39):
their animal? Yeah? No, I would kick Oliver out of
the room. But my favorite time was when I had
a gentleman caller over and we had finished expressing our
feelings to each other physically, and he was lying on
my bed as was the style of my ankles. He
was lying. He was lying on my bed like naked,

(09:02):
just on top of the sheets or whatever. And Oliver,
my cat, twenty pounds of cat, just saunders into the bedroom,
jumps up on the bed, walks between his legs, does
the turning around, turning around, turning around, and then flops
onto his penis, puts one elbow onto his thigh as

(09:24):
the saying, you just did her, but she's my Wow.
Who else had the same joke in your head? Yeah,
I put that past your animal in particular. He was
not impressed. No, he's very wise and trust him. I mean,

(09:45):
I don't like animals in the bedroom. It's really well,
especially during sex. Remember a dog licked part of my body?
Which one the one is anyway? Really? That was I'm like,
and talk about you talk about a mood killer. Maybe

(10:09):
one thing if a person did it female, not that
there's anything wrong. It's not like I would expect some
random guy to just show up in my bedroom. And
that part of my body, you do Tommy in a
top hat that pops out from behind to top of

(10:29):
the I'll just come out check out sight. But we
call him straight Nate. He has to clarify check out,
I said, person, but you know I meant a woman, right,
And then he like goes back under the bed. Okay,
So anyway, the dog licked it. Yeah, alright, you gotta

(10:49):
lick it. Your turn. Let's talk about something else. Now,
I'm good. You have animals, You have to have had
a similar you have a weef to weeks lost him
off the bed, was like, George, my my my current
dog gets angry, so he can no longer be in
the room because I think he thinks like someone's getting hurt,

(11:12):
and he just yells. He just barks the whole time.
It really is nothing quite a mood killer, like your
dog barking at you, a pet making noise during that
with his dog and he and I were making out
and his dog would not stop barking at me, and

(11:32):
finally he was just like stop, stop, stop, stop stop
to the dog, and she wouldn't stop. And finally I
had to leave, get out of the car, and that
dog one that was all she wanted to. Don't even focus.
It wasn't even cute. It was just like, okay, really
that dog was trying to tell you who's boss. Yeah,
pretty much. I kicked my dog out of the bathroom too.
My dog's always in the bathroom and it's like, I
feel weird being in the bathroom when my dogs like

(11:55):
on the floor sleeping. So I'm like, get out of here.
Who was there first? The dog? The dog was there first.
I only have like two places to pee in the house.
You can only be in one of them, exactly. Oral
sex is known amongst short nosed fruit bats. Oh, I

(12:15):
guess it would have to be ups gracious that. Have
the kids ever walked in on you? No, thank goodness,
that you know of, Not that I know of. Yeah,
I think they would know. My kids. They would call
me out and say, say, do you guys lock the door?
You've never locked the door. We just kind of know

(12:35):
when they're when when it's safe. My parents on their
bedroom door, they had that that child proof thing you
put on the door knob. Yeah, that was the first
thing I learned how to operate. As are easy to
figure out because you have to put pressure. There's a
little hole, so you put pressure on the door knob
through this little hole and then you're able to turn
the door knob. But for a child, you just grabbed
this thing that's around the when they on the door,

(13:00):
it's still there. Now I'm not even kidding. We're all
out of the house and that thing is still on
the door. If they took it off, they wouldn't know
how to open the This is a life fear of mine.
What the possibility of ever walking in on your parents.
I think I heard my parents like I heard them,

(13:22):
but I walked in on them. I just always believe
they never did it. Yeah, yeah, mine never had sex.
I was the last time the immaculate concept to see
you all down and tell you how this works. They
had sex. My sister don't know that, Garrett. One of
my sisters is adopted, and I am jealous of that

(13:43):
fact that she doesn't have to picture our parents having
sex to have her. You don't have to worry about
what I got to imagine. It's an adopted child. It's
it's not even just creepy to think about them having sex,
much less having sex to have you, but just having
sex period. Don't think about it. Sister on the phone.
Let's call her up. So lucky you don't have to

(14:04):
worry about that. Is there a Hallmark cark for that? Sorry?
You it? Love mom and dad? Love mom and dad.
We love each other very much. We were doing a
special kind of love the business. What inappropriate Hallmark car
Those already exist. What you want to say, but don't
have the guts to. That's the section. It's called the

(14:24):
liquor store right next to the anniversary congratulations. Ever heard
my parents either said having sex? Oh? Thank god, don't.
Don't got to take five points for I thought I

(14:50):
saw it at the corner of my eye. I thought
we were twelve seconds out, But we're a minute and
twelve seconds out. Yeah, so my peripheral just failed me terribly.
When's the last time, Sam, you think your parents had sex?
I have your mom's phone number. I'm a text. Actually,
don't need my birthday because you don't get sex. Please.
Dad's getting some tonight. Your most so smoking. You know

(15:12):
he's trying that your parents. I could totally see having sex.
I thinking about your parents having sex right now. I'm
there too. I'm watching them to right. My picks started
to sweat that means they're doing no. I want you
to call them both at ten o'clock. Now, okay, fine,

(15:32):
Well I'm going there for dinner and now I can't
leave until it's tomorrow because I need to say I
know what's going to be for dessert. Hey Sammy, better
time tonight take turns with my Cope, since you're the
ones doing this to me and he's going to wear
someone probably one of your outfit I'm gonna throw up
at dinner and not even gonna wash it, sister. The

(16:00):
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