The 25 Questions

We talk about the '25 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get Married' from DJ Envy and Gia new book! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
firm Elvis represents fifteen Minute Morning Show. Well, well, well
look at the cat dragged in a room full of
my best friends. It is the fifteen Minute Morning Show podcast.

(00:26):
Let's see. We have Scary, we have Gandhi, we have
Dave Brody, we have Scotty b and Garrett and Danielle
and Straightenate Froggy's in the house. Hey, I don't know
if you listen to our show today, but we had
a d J Envy and Gia Casey on of course
married DJ Envy works down the hall at the world
famous breakfast club The Morning Show. Uh. Their a new

(00:48):
book called Real Life, Real Love kind of talks about
their ups and downs. They had a lot of downs,
but the sounds like they've got a lot of ups. Right.
What a great interview If you want to catch it
on demand, just wherever you hear your podcasts, um do
a search for Elvis stray in Morning show talk about it.
How great were they? Oh? They're awesome. I mean I've
been listening to their podcast for years, which is called
the Casey Crew, and they're What I've always loved about

(01:09):
them is that they've always been open and honest about
their relationships, and like you said, ups and downs, and
sometimes they'll have a fight, like right before the podcast starts,
they will push record and they will discuss it right
then there and get through the problem. And if you're
a parent, they have a lot of great um a
lot a lot of great advice about their children and

(01:30):
how they raised them to be good people, people that
respect um others. And they do a lot of charity
work too, so it's nice to see that. You know,
they have been very blessed in their lives. They work
very hard for what they have, but at the same
time they give back. So that's really nice. Excellent again,
d j Envy and Casey Real Life, Real Love. It
really is an amazing interview that we did with them.

(01:51):
I'm sure the book is fifteen times were amazing. They
said in this book they have the twenty questions to
ask yourself before you get married. So this is the
twenty questions you ask yourself. Correct. Shall we go through
these and argue? Yes, He's got plenty of time. Do

(02:12):
I know what love is? Define it? Do my partner
and I have similar definitions of what love is? What
is love? Loves? That feeling, but can you describe it?
It's a million different answers. I think it's somebody oh sorry.
I think it's putting somebody else before yourself all the time.
And I don't know if I'm capable of that. All

(02:34):
that is that is a very challenging thing. Yeah, Frog,
I think it's like you said when we had them on,
and I've heard you say this before and I've had
the same feeling that no matter what you're doing, I
don't care where it is or where you are, you
would rather be doing it with that person and it
would be better because you're with that person solely that reason.
I think that is love. Does it make you guys
mad that I would much rather be with Alex right

(02:55):
now than when you actually that you have? Cool? Brodie,
What do you want in a marriage? Well, I want
it for a lifetime. There's a question when you get married,
you do I guess you do expect it to be
a lifetime? Well, you hope. There are a lot of
people that go into it now that go, hey, if
it doesn't work, we'll just, you know, go our separate ways.

(03:17):
It's really not how you should go into it, so
you probably should ask yourself that question before walking down
the aisle. It's wide and is for a pre nup
because I was like, oh, this is to be permanent,
so I don't have to worry about my millions. There
you go. They're nice and safe and sound. Um and
you know. And and he was talking about how early
in the relationship he was very, very insecure. Uh, and

(03:39):
now he's not. He's very secure. Another question, do I
know what I need to feel secure? And do I
know what it takes in order for me to make
my partner feel secure? So? How many times have you
been with Lisa, for instance, and she's having her insecure
moments Froggy. Either you can go, oh, here we go again,
or you can try to find ways to make her
feel secure. What do you do? Do you run or

(04:00):
do you run into the fire? I used to do
both used well, I used to do it the first though,
here we go again, great, and this is your problem,
But now I don't. I realize that part of being
in a relationship is if I'm doing something or going
to do something that makes her feel insecure. It's not
my job, it's something I want to do. I tried
to make her feel better about the situation, and how

(04:20):
can we make it so everybody feels comfortable? And I wondered,
I feel comfortable. I don't. I don't want to be
like I'll just get over it. This is the way
it is. I just that that's not the way to
make somebody feel loved. Are you secure enough to allow
your significant other to be who they truly are? That's
a good one. This is a good one because there
are a lot of relationships where there's one over that
just shadows over the other one and does not allow

(04:42):
them to be them. There's what we used to go
out with a couple. Oh sorry, Garrett and they when
she was out with us, she was a totally different
person than she was when she was with him, and
she wasn't allowed to be herself. And she would say
to me, you know, just don't tell my husband I
did this, or don't tell him I did this, or
I said, because he doesn't like it. I was just like,
but that's you, and you weren't doing anything wrong. How

(05:04):
could you they're not together anymore? That's very common. It
did not work. I was out with a couple about
six months ago, and everything he said or started to say,
she cut him off and said, no, what he means
is or you know you say that, honey, but you
know that you don't like she would like go against
everything he said and like interrupt him and she dumped

(05:25):
like he could do no right. It was so uncomfortable
and it was like a friends of her friends was
three couples, so it wasn't my friends. I would never
go out with those people again because I felt so
bad for him that she just crushed him all the time. Uh, terrible,
but he put up with it. But oh he clearly
shined over him. What we're gonna say, Garrett, No, I
was thinking that you were talking about, you know, being

(05:47):
yourself and making sure your other person, your other person
gets to beat themselves. I think it's a fine dance
at first, because you don't know that first date, that
first few months is always that like, Okay, this is
my my best person that I think they deserve, and
then you kind of fall into that groove and then
you get back to that place of like this is
who I am. So it's like you kind of have
to like battle it out and to find the true
self personally. God, I hope they never find out who

(06:10):
I really am? Why are you so quiet, Nate. I'm
just I'm just absorbing of this knowledge seriously, Like I'm
the most newly married person here, so I'm absorbing all
of this. It's good to hear. This is a good
one for you and Alex to ask each other. My
partner and I have similar relationships with money, because you know,

(06:32):
Alex is always telling you don't spend the money. You're like,
let's go spends how about to say and Sheldon should
have had the same conversation throwing stones in those glass houses?
You know what they are. We hear over and over
the number one reason for couples to dissolve money finances.

(06:55):
Finances of number one on the list of reasons why
couples don't do well, at least in an argument. The
other day, she went to this grocery store and she
bought toothpaste, and then I looked in the in the
garbage can, she threw her toothpaste away. I'm like, wait
a second, there's still like five or six more uses
in here. What are you doing. She's like, you are
so cheap. I'm like, no, I'm not being cheap. I'm like,

(07:15):
you're wasting toothpaste. So I took her tooth tooth tube
paste out of the garbage, and I used it. There
were nine more uses in there not counted. Yes, value
of nine squirts of toothpaste? Yes, No, what was the
retail value of It doesn't matter. It adds up if
you did that, sometimes it'd be a new tube. You

(07:36):
need to go shopping with Scottie because he'll show you how.
They'll pay you to take the toothpaste and still use
it to the very end. I would use it. Yes,
I use all. Yeah, I cut myself trying to Frog.
You need to get a rolling pin and just roll
that toothpaste right out, I asked her. I said, do
you do you throw away the toilet paper roll before

(07:57):
it's empty. No, you use it till you get to
the cardboard. It's the same way to the paste. I'm
with you, but Frog, think about the far extreme. Let's
just say, like you got to the point where you
and least are like, okay, we're going to the divorce lawyer,
and the divorce lawyers sit you guys down, like what
was the straw that broke the camel's back and you
out of your mouth couse toothpaste? Well, I guarantee there's
silly reason because he put catch up on his eggs.

(08:20):
That was what it was. More to it, but that
was the breaking point. One brick. Okay, there's not one
brick that builds any house. It is a bunch of houses.
So your divorce house is built upon many bricks. One
of mine will be toothpaste. Okay, what are some other bricks?

(08:42):
Give us more bricks. The spending money on things that
we don't need. I mean, they just show stuff shows
up we don't need. But you do it too. No,
I don't know. You throw her under the bus, but
you do. You don't need a new nine hundred dollar
cell phone every time the stupid ass new one comes out.
Use it? But but but but I use but I

(09:03):
used that cell phone. I can't tell you how many
times we have when we go through our closet, they're
still there's there's clothing, there's out the tags on them.
Oh I I did you buy this? Yeah? When are
you gonna wear it? Well? I decided I didn't like
it when I got at home. When why don't you
take it back to the store and get your money back?
That would have been a novel idea. Well, that's we
went to there's another break We went to Creton Barrel

(09:23):
and you know, we got a couple of things, and
she bought this dish. She goes, oh, this will be
great when we have people over or whatever. I can't
remember the explanation. Go, that's gonna be like once a year.
Like we're buying a dish. You're prepared just in case,
a hundred dollar dish for one time a year, once
a year. No, no, no, you know I remember he

(09:44):
was a specific type of dish for something I can't
like ravy boat for things come from home goods. And
she's got all these things. I'm like, hey, would you
what rooms that for? I don't know, find a place. Well,
that means we don't need it. That's a the crate
and barrel dish. That's a gift card purchase. If you
have a gift card laying around, You're like, there was

(10:05):
other stuff we could have gotten. So you need stuff
and you got to play. You didn't need you there's
your first break of divorce. You're starting comes your breakhouse. Alright,
So and another question on here from dj Envy and
Gia Casey's Real Life, Real Love Book, Um, have you
discussed your dreams? With your partner, and are they supportive

(10:26):
of them? You know what? Very important. You know, it's
one thing to fall in love with someone because they
look great and they're fun to be with and they
seem to care about you. But what about the future.
What is it they're dreaming about when you're not having conversations.
Some people have dreams. I know we all have dreams.
We don't always talk about them. But with your partner,
it's good to know what their dreams are and then
you do things to help them get there right. I

(10:51):
think that's one of the most important things as far
as relationships go, even if it's just a friendship, is
knowing what the other person wants in life and wants
out of life, and when you know that, you can
support them in different ways and in free ways. All
of the things that I want in life from somebody else,
whether it is a friend or a partner romantically, is

(11:12):
the free stuff. I don't want them to buy me things.
I don't want any of the material stuff because the
free stuff is the priceless stuff. I want somebody to
support me and be there, have fun with me, have
an emotionally intimate connection with them. That stuff is way
more important than you know them buying me a pair
of shoes or number seven on the questions, Am I
committed to doing the biggest little things to make my
partner happy and enjoy life with them? Yes, that's important,

(11:35):
as religion is on this list too, and I think
a lot of people don't even think about those things anymore.
Are we on the same page regarding faith or lack thereof?
And that's how you with me because Sheldon's Episcopalian and
I'm um Catholic and it's very close. But I from
the beginning said, you know how important it is. I
really want to raise the children Catholic. And you know

(11:57):
he understood, and he was like, no problem, you know
I get it. So that if that's important to you,
that's something you definitely need to discuss as well. You
can't just hey, here's the kids, what are we gonna
raise them? Like? Go into it that way? Well, look,
I want you to get the book. It's called Real Life,
Real Love with DJ n V and Gia Casey. It's
pretty incredible, are you guys? You're good? We had no

(12:20):
toilet humor today. We didn't talk about things that you
know what I'm saying We're a vomit up conversation, growing
up conversation, so that means tomorrow we let loose. It's
all fun those Everyone say goodbye by the fifteen minute

(12:42):
Morning Show