The Poo Cast

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think I dread doing this podcast today. No one.
We have sound effects and everything. I feel like that's important,
and we just started off with playing the sound effects. Now,
this is a video that's gone very very viral, and
I mean millions of people have seen this. Right, so

(00:22):
he's got gas and I don't know he's got more
than that. Okay, let's just talk about this. I didn't
want to play this on our show because I'm just like,
we talked about Pooh all the time, So this is
like the extreme. This is the extreme version of it,
and you've got to bring it. If the masses are
talking about it and watching it, why shouldn't we be
talking about it. Brody, have you heard this thing yet? No?

(00:43):
I haven't. Very excited, very excited. Set up to seeing
Gandhi and then the scary we will play the sound Okay.
So a man is working out in a gym and
he's doing one of those squat press machines where he's
laying on his back and using his feet to push
a bunch of weight. Apparently he ates thing that didn't
really agree with him. And as he's doing this little
squat machine, some demon from God knows where escapes his

(01:07):
butthole and just traumatizes anyone somewhere for sure. Here's what,
here's what it sounds like. There's no way in hell
that that wasn't was he at l a shitness. It

(01:31):
was actually funny, Jim. It's funnier when you watch the
video because there are two guys who are standing there
trying to work out, and as soon as he basically
like craps himself, they're just like nah man and they
put their stuff down a walk away and pick away.
Why I don't work out yea one reason. So this

(01:52):
this kind of leads me down this path how we
pick and choose the things that are safe for our
show versus aren't right. So I just think in the
last few days we've been talking about Pooh a lot,
I thought I thought the radio show could have just
taken a moment back away from Pooh. And that was
my thinking that that was my kid. You don't want

(02:13):
to be known as the Pooh show. We already are
the ship show. We are what do you say? Name?
Woo is always funny, whether you're three or you're hundred
and three. Who will always always be anything to do
with Pooh, whether it's air pooh, which is a fart
or whether it's like solid pooh or liquid pooh, it

(02:34):
doesn't matter pooh and all forms. I'm not convinced that
our audience is okay with pooh talk. I just I
didn't find I didn't find it offensive was because I
don't think there was pooh there. What I thought that
was just pure fart. I want you to explain it

(02:56):
the way you explained it earlier, that what you were
ever saying about his cheeks. The guy is in a
is in a position where he's sitting down and he's
got his leg lifts so so he's kind of pushing
back and forth with each leg. He's a larger man,
and I really thought that when that came out and
I heard that sound, I'm like, ah, it was just
the way his cheeks were pressed together, and the fact

(03:18):
that he was larger made it sound worse than it
really was. What you're saying that this noise you're about
to play again does not involve any liquid and this
pure no way it was art. Gurgle are oh my god,
that air hits speed bumps on the way out. That

(03:38):
sounds like there are there are something straight himself, you know,
what that sounds like. That sounds like when you have
a really thick milkshake and you blow into the straw
to make bubbles. Yes, explodes, I just I'm not hearing it.

(04:00):
I just hear I listen. Scary should demonstrate here, play it.
There are actual bubbles popping in that sound exactly. That's
my point. If he didn't have pants on, everyone would
have gotten some. See Danielle tell him Scary doesn't have kids.

(04:23):
He doesn't know. This is another reason you should wear
a mask, because it's like a sneeze. You don't know
what comes out. So he's good he had pants on,
because then therefore he didn't get it all over the
workout machine. Scotty be about to give it as a
question that will cross the line. Are you ready? I'm
just curious. When you sit down on the bowl, do

(04:45):
you grab each cheek and spread them and then sit
down so it's spread as you're sitting or you just
sit down and let it rip and smush in between.
What what do you do? Please? I'm sure you you
spread them, you grab your you grab your cheeks when

(05:05):
you sit down, and then you sit down spread You
have to why subconsciously don't they sort of spread themselves.
You're trying to get extra spread. I just I don't
want smush. You know anyone wants smush. I don't think
anyone wants to smush. Scotty. I love you like a brother.

(05:27):
I mean, I couldn't love you more. But you're the
weirdest motherfucker I've ever met my whole life. When it
comes out spooky, he thinks about that. I don't think
about it. I just do it. But you haven't one
day that like, wait a second, I'll spread my ass
cheeks and it will make it no froggy. His thought was,
I wonder if other people do it, that's even worse. Yeah, Scotty,

(05:49):
isn't it uncomfortable though? If you're sitting and you're you're
you're sitting on your hands technically, but especially like here
in the building where you have to put the paper
on the seat because you don't want your asked to
touch that nasty seat kind of have to spread it
to hold it down. Also, But do you hold it
the whole time you're sitting there spread or does it
the seat holds it? No, it holds it. You just
have to spread it open to begin and then you

(06:10):
have to manually open, yes, but doesn't like pulling on
your butt hole the whole time you sit there. That's good,
that's for easy exit. It's open. I got I can't
go back to what I was saying with Gandhi, and
she agrees if you when you sit, it automatically kind
of pulls everything into yeah, and then like that's kind
of the whole point of the squatty potty is that

(06:31):
it adjust your posture and your whole butt, like all
of it, so that you don't have to spread apart
your own butt cheeks. You can just kind of sit
in a comfortable Oh, he's showing us how he does. Okay,
oh my god, I'm gonna get him the squatting potty.
That's what he means. Yeah, every time he opens his mouth.

(06:53):
I learned something fascinating. Wondering we stop seven and a
half minutes left, keep going, But where do you go
from here? I don't know, well, I don't know. We
We did have a big controversy in the building since
we're just talking about poop of somebody who I will
not name, who allegedly says when he drops a duke

(07:14):
that he catches it before it hits the water, and
that caused all of the concern. What does reasoning behind that?
Why does he catch it before it hits the water?
He said he didn't. He didn't want to risk a
splashback right? Was that the reason for it? On his hand?
Who does this? He catches it? Is his hand? His hand,
that's what he says, toilet paper. I mean, there's got

(07:37):
to be some type of lineage. I have no idea,
but he's a big dude. This is just really disgusting.
There's got to be something more to our day than
this picture. How does he do it? Does he stand up? No? No,
not the only one who really thinks we should find
something else to talk. The choices are talking about Pooh

(07:59):
who should be nominated for the Supreme Court justice position?
Supreme Court Justice. You know what story I'm fascinating with.
That's an important story? What so having in New York City?
So a New York City police officer was arrested yesterday
because they found out he was a spy for China.
That's a true story. Yeah, it's curio scary. It took

(08:23):
true story. Apparently he was the Tibetans in the Tibetans
in New York and what tipped him off was like
he said, you shouldn't fly to the American flag with
the Tibetan flag. And they're like what and and they yeah,
and they investigated him and they found this. I can
I just say something. If you're watching this on Instagram,

(08:43):
I want you to roll back about a minute ago
and see us all laughing and and and defying, and
then watch as we talk about Supreme Court justices and
news stories. Nobody's fucking laughing, smiling. I think it's fascinating
when someone it's caught spying for another country and the

(09:07):
police officer and also you know they're saying that without doubt,
the Russians are doing everything they can to squash the
possibility that Biden could win the presidency. What why are
they doing why? I mean, well, obviously there's a pay
for them, there's a payoff for them to have trying
continuous president. But the fact the fact that they're sitting

(09:29):
in a room over in Russia going how can we
fix the fix the voting over in the United States,
It's just it's intriguing to me. It's just that this
stuff really goes on. And now I'm hearing that China
is trying to interfere too, is that true? Watch The
Social Dilemma. It kind of addresses these things and how
it's possible, and what they have to gain from it,
and how they get into all of your heads, all

(09:50):
of our heads with their news stories, and they specifically
cater your news feed to you, So if you seem
like you lean one direction, then all the stuff you
get is going to be from that direction to completely
just inundate you with more and more and more of
this information, and that people just aren't really the same
as they used to be anymore, and all of this
stuff is very much rigged to bring down democracy. TikTok,

(10:12):
you were like the first one of us on TikTok
having the ball. Yeah, I saw your muse and next dance.
I remember we used to make fun of scary on TikTok. Yeah,
not even a dance. What are you talking about? Though,
you guys mocked me. How dare you even download that
avage for kids? Still? Still, that's not what we said.

(10:38):
We said you looked a little out of place being
an old guy on TikTok as you look like that time,
you look like a nineteen year old guy at the
playground like ad that's still still find fault with that
because now everybody's on it. It's become a mainstream app.
I'll repeat myself. At the time, you know, there are
no old man on TikTok, and then after you started

(11:00):
to turn all the old dads started going on. I
think that the funny ones are the kids with their
parents and then the mom is just so funny because
she can't do it and the kids are making fun
of her. I love those. I think they're so funny.
We were ahead of the current. We were doing that too.
Scary dad doing it? Am I the only person that's
never been on TikTok. Fantastic? Yeah, he trying to get

(11:26):
it off your phone is a booger. It's in there.
You got email them and you know, well now I
think now they have a release button. You can push
a button and it comes off. Yeah, they've changed it.
For a while there you had to go online and
ask them to release you from their clutches. Right. I
get direct messages from a New York City police officer.
I don't know if you saw in the news the
spy it's a call back more about it. Our minds,

(11:53):
we don't remember anything. Recall is not so ship. So
Nate is convinced that we have to talk about pool
otherwise we're not fun. He just did he go to
drop a pool yesterday with someone who's he talking to? Oh? Oh,

(12:15):
I have news. It's like a doctor office. I have
butt news. You guys know, we played the game, but
Hurt a lot on the show, right on the podcast. Well,
but Hurt reached out to me and I vote. I
just voted it to Nate. They want to make a
special Elvis Duran but Hurt question and give us credit

(12:35):
in their next edition. That's awesome. It's like royalty. So
they want us to come up with a question like
who in the room or who's most likely? So start
thinking about question you would like to yes, gandhi? Okay,
if we were all stranded on a desert island and
you had to eat one of us first, who is scary? Glary?

(13:00):
Why me? Because your calf muscles alone would feed me
for days? Donut? Who in the room would be the
first to poop their pants? Nate does it on a
daily basis, and yeah, it's already done. Where'd you go?
I had a doctor's office calling me? Sorry? What they
want are you okay? Hists about you pooing your pants yesterday? No,

(13:27):
I do have to get my prostate checked. That that
wasn't the urologist. But um yeah, that's another call I
have to make today. So it's not a hippolaue. If
Elvis is asking if the doctor was like, here's what
Nate was calling about, that's a hippo lau a friend
affect us. If you need your butt checked, Scotty, he'll
check it for you. He'll spread those You don't disclose

(13:49):
any information to anybody about your medical condition. That's a
hippo because you're protected by the hippo law from somebody
who's got the most doctor from from one of the
most fun that medical histories, along with Nate. I'll tell
everybody everything. I don't give it. Damn I don't care. Nate. Yes,

(14:10):
do you have another stroke coming up? Anytime? I'm scheduling
it for December our vacation. No, I don't have one
coming up. Everything actually looks good, keep it very cool. Nde,
are you wearing a sailor's hat today? It's oh, but
yeah it did look a little Popeye is didn't How

(14:33):
much time do we have thirty seconds. Oh perfect, this
has been just uh yeah, a nutty little calico cat
of crazy. We play the sound one more time? Should
the sound take us out? A lot of people out
play it out to put that online? I mean it

(15:07):
was him. He was recording himself, was recording himself. He
didn't put out would you put yourself online? If actually? Did?
I have? And then he sponsored there's footage of me
working out and I'm doing some lifting. Yeah, I got
some lifts working out Sham with Sam Sam, producer Sham's

(15:31):
boyfriend William. He worked me out. Sam filmed in in
my gym. Please. The only lift you have her in
your shoes. You're not even friends with a guy named Jim.
How do you have a gym? Maybe you a slim
Jim were over? Bye bye, bye bye