June 5, 2025 • 42 mins
This week, Tommy is joined by Tom Daley, one of the greatest divers in the world. Tom’s remarkable journey to becoming a five-time Olympic medalist is captured in the new documentary, TOM DALEY: 1.6 SECONDS. In this doc, he gives us an intimate look at the challenges of growing up in the public eye, facing physical and mental pressures of being his countries big medal hope, tragically losing his father Robert to cancer, coming out in the media, the decision to retire from the competition at the age of 30, and glimpses into his home and family life. Tom is not only a sporting legend, but he is also a champion for important social issues. Today, Tom opens up about that photo from the Olympics that went viral, the pressure that comes with nailing those 1.6 seconds of a dive, who he is without a professional diving career, one of the biggest misconceptions about him, what his relationship with grief is like today, how growing up gay caused him to put other people’s feelings before his own, how one wink face changed the course of his love life, why one misquoted headline led him to create his coming out video on YouTube, the fear his former management placed in him about being an out athlete, his advice for anyone struggling with their identity or sexuality, the struggles he faced with his body image over the course of his career, why he can’t escape the question of if he is really retired, if coaching every interests him in the future, a parenting struggle that he has never shared before, and so much more.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me.
Tommy de Dario, one of the greatest athletes in the world,
joins my show today and man, what a conversation you
are about to hear. The five time Olympic medalist Tom
Daily dove his way into the studio. See what I
did there. It's a chat all about his incredible life.
(00:23):
His new documentary, Tom Daily one point six Seconds is
out now and we are covering it all. Tom's giving
us a really intimate look at the challenges of growing
up in the public eye and facing physical and mental
pressures of being his country's big metal hope. He emotionally
discusses losing his father Roberts, cancer, and coming out in
the media, and of course he opens up about making
(00:46):
the decision to retire from the competition at the age
of thirty, and so much more. Tom's not only a
sporting legend, but he's a champion for important social issues
and he has shaped the world far beyond what I
imagine he even thought was possible. And a big shout
out to Travel Guard, my personal sponsor for today's episode.
Their mission it's to make sure we safely say hello
(01:07):
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(01:30):
community can stay safe during their travels. So visit travelguard
dot com for more information on that. And let's see
if today we can get Tom to say something that
he has never said before. Tom Daily, how are you,
my friend?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I am doing alright, you know, a little bit tired,
but nothing like I've ever been before since.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah, you look refreshed off of the plane. I know.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I feel like this last week or so, I've just
been traveling here, there and everywhere. But it's been good.
It's been nice to be able to, you know, just
get out and about and you know, explore a little.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, and for good reason you're traveling. You have an
amazing documentary which we're going to get to, of course,
but I have to start by telling you I'm a
little disappointed. Oh no, I really thought you'd be sitting
across from me. We knitwhere, yes, or knitting a new project,
and here you are without it. And I don't understand
why you decided to show up and not do that,
but I'll have to get over it.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I know double denim instead. Although I do have my
knitting in my bag, so not with me here, but
it's in the car so I do carry it with
me absolutely everywhere, which sometimes I get some weird looks
coming through TSA with a whole set of knitting needles,
because they you know, if you were to scan that
it might look slightly weird.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I'm surprised you can bring big needles through the TSA.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, and scissors as long as they're smaller than four inches.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Oh good to know, Good to know. I still laugh
about that photo when I saw you in the stands
knitting your your sweater was it?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I was knitting in total, I was nitting this like cardigan. Basically,
I started knitting because my coach told me that I
was always on the go, always, I never just sat still,
and that I wasn't very good at resting and recovering.
So was then my husband, who said to me, why
don't you try knitting because people on film sets he
works in film and TV, like, why don't you try knitting?
(03:19):
And I was like, you know, okay, sure, why not.
So I got my needles, got my yarn, went onto
the YouTube University and taught myself out to knit, and
I've he it became my obsession honestly.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's really good for anxiety too.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Oh yeah, I'm able like this is the one time
of the day where my mind is completely quiet and
I love that, and it like I'm able to pass
so much time I can be really present. I genuinely
think that knitting was my superpower and the reason why
I was able to win Ann't be Gone medal in
Tokyo because it was like, during like the COVID Olympics,
there was so much time to overthink everything, and you know,
(03:54):
knitting kind of like took that away. So yeah, I'm
grateful for knitting.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
That's so cool. Well, there is something about that keeps
you super present, right, which is I feel like anyone
who wants to be successful at anything has to have
that mindset.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, I think you have to be able to be
extremely present focused on the process and enjoy the process
as well, because although yes, you want to have a
successful outcome, that's not always the case. So as long
as you can enjoy the process, it's still worth it regardless.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Good for you, man, Well, your documentary one point six
seconds is beautiful. Oh beautiful. I watched it with my husband.
We just we absolutely loved it and thought it was
so raw and open and you know, vulnerable and emotional.
So I guess to kick this off, why was this
the right time in your life to put something like
that out.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Yeah, I mean the production company came to me in
twenty twenty three. I want to say it was two
years after the Tokyo Olympics, because I hadn't died for
two years at that point, I thought I was retired,
and they came to me right at the time when
I was deciding maybe I should come back for one
more Olympic Games in Paris so that my kids could
see me compete. And I think the big thing for
(05:00):
me was I had no idea that so much of
the archival footage existed that my dad had filmed, so
lots of the documentary was me seeing things for the
very first time, and I don't know, retirement was on
the card. So I like being able to sum up
my whole career and then also be able to have
something so that my kids in the future can look
back and see everything that their papa like achieved and did.
(05:23):
There was something about that that I was excited so
that they could see everything in one place.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Wow. I mean, it's remarkable you've accomplished. You began diving
around seventy eight, right, you went to the Olympics at fourteen. Yes,
you won your first World champion at fifteen. Yes, that's
a lot of action very early on in your life,
and you became known as this kind of prodigy diver. Right,
So as you're in this new chapter of your life,
who is Tom Daily without that?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Oh gosh, good question. And I still feel like I'm
figuring that out because diving was such a big part
of my life from the age of seven up until
I was thirty. So there's like now that retirement. It's
weird to say the our word retirement because I'm like,
you know, yes, I'm retired, but it's only from like
my first career in diving. Because now I'm like, Okay,
(06:11):
what am I going to do with my day. I
used to know exactly what time I was waking up,
when I was going to have for breakfast, when I
was going to have my breakfast, what time I was
starting training, when I was going to be home, where
I was going to be traveling, what competition, And now
all of that is out the window. Routine has got.
The only structure I have now really is a school
drop off and school pickup for my kids, and that's
(06:33):
kind of the thing that I revolved my day around now.
But other than that, it's like everything is kind of
like slotted in and people are like, oh, when can
you do this, And I'm like, I guess whenever you want,
But then like I don't know because I don't know
what could be happening that day. Whereas before I knew
I was going to be training, let's say, like eight
till ten thirty and then one thirty till four, so
(06:53):
I knew that if there was something I was going
to have to do, it's either going to be in
and around those times, Whereas now it's kind of like
a you know, bitten it in there, bitten it in there,
and just yeah, live in my life without too many
routines and structures.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I guess, yeah, you're figuring out that person who you
will step into still, right, which I imagine is liberating, but
also probably if you're someone like me who's a little
type A and from watching a documentary you do like
routine and structure, it is also very weird.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, It's something that when I was in diving, all
I ever wanted to do was be like, oh, I
just want to break free of this structure and just
be able to go and do something if I want
to go and do it, whereas now I can, I'm like, oh,
I don't know if I really like that, Like it
was liberating for a while, but then I'm like, Okay,
now I actually quite enjoyed that structure of what I'm
(07:43):
going to And it's kind of I guess lots of
people might have the similar thing if they're not in
a regular, like nine to five job. It's like when
do you start working, when do you stop? What do
you do? How often are you doing it? And then
you end up finding yourself incredibly busy all the time,
and but it's it's been good, and this past year
has been incredibly busy.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
So what would you say after living such a very
public life and having media and the public so intertwined
in your personal life and professional life. What would you
say is one of the biggest misconceptions about you.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Oh, I think lots of people might consider me to
be someone that is like very go go go all
about winning an Olympic gold medal. I'm very serious and
driven towards that, and I do think that I'm probably
one of the more unseerious people. And it was only
really as I got older that I started to care
less about what other people thought, so I was able
to be more me because you know, growing up, I
(08:40):
feel like I was always I'm such a people pleaser,
so I feel like I was always giving people what
I thought they wanted to hear from me, and what
they thought I wanted them to be they wanted me
to be. Like, So I think now I'm a lot
more like I have a different perspective on life. But yeah,
I guess that's not really a misconcier. But I guess
(09:01):
I'm not just about the gold medals. Maybe.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yeah, Well, I think it's important to say that because
when you're such a high achiever and you have accomplished
so much, you can be kind of put in this
category of like that's your only focus, and clearly it's not.
I mean, you're a family man, yeah, her husband. You're
so much more than just That's.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
The danger though. If you want to win an Olympic
gold medal, if you want to be the best at
what you do, it can't be your only thing because
if it is your only thing, you put all of
your self worth and self esteem into that one thing
and what you do, and you have to realize that
you're more than what you do. Yeah, and what you do.
I mean I always say, like, you know, doing sport,
it's not saving lives. I'm not like a brain surgeon
or a heart surgeon. So if you are a heart
(09:40):
surgeon or brain surgeon, I'm sorry you do what you
do every day does really matter. But I always just
I always try to tell myself when I was sriving
that at the end of the day, it's just a game. Yeah,
it's just a game. Yeah, it could be monopoly with
your family. Yeah, the boards have been flipped with that too.
You know, I'm very competitive, but I like to think
of you know, everything, you're able to be able to
(10:00):
put everything you do into perspective to make it feel
smaller and sometimes that's what I find to be really helpful.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Well, and I have to say, based off what you
just said, you know you're an athlete, which I would
argue is also a type of an artist, right, and
you inspire so many people to dream and go after
what it is they want to go after. So yes,
it's not brain surgery, but I would argue it is
equally as important because in this day and age that
we live in, where there can be so much doom
and gloom, you give people that light. So don't take
(10:26):
that away from what you do either, because it is important.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, But I think it's the difference is with when
you go into an Olympic Games and you know it
is the biggest thing that you've been working for. It's
what all your training has come up to for. You
train six hours a day, six days a week for
four years for that one day, and it can feel
like it is the biggest thing that's ever happened in
your life, because for the most part, it probably is
(10:51):
working towards that thing. But if you have that on
your plate, it is so terrifying and there's so much
pressure and anxiety that comes down to perfect those one
point six seconds.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Of a dive.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
So now I if I am only thinking about that
standing down, I'm terrified. So I have to come up
with ways for myself to be able to let go
of that and break free of that, you know, anxiety
and pressure. And for me, that is just making it
feel as little and small as possible.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah, no, that makes total sense. And I imagine having
a support system along the way has also helped with
all of that and been tremendous. And in the documentary
we see the beautiful relationship with you and your parents
and your father who was literally by your side, yeah,
for everything, and you open up about losing him and
so many people have gone through that and what that
grief was like for you, and your way to grieve
(11:39):
kind of was jumping back into work at first, right
and going going, going, exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I wasn't very good at the whole grieving thing. I
think for lots of people, you always think of your
parents as invincible that then you know they're always going
to be around. And you know, my dad was one
of my biggest or the biggest cheerleader I had in
my life. He was there for every training session, every
common whether it was in the UK or abroad, wherever
it was. He was there with his giant Union flag,
(12:05):
waving it in people's faces. He didn't care. And you know,
when I lost him in twenty eleven, it was something
that was so incredibly difficult for our whole family, and
it got to a point where I was like, I
didn't know what to I didn't know what to do,
I didn't know how to cope. So I ended up
just carrying on, going right back to the diving pool,
(12:26):
right back into it, and not really allowing myself to
have time to think about what was coming next. And
for me, it was only when I met my husband
when he started asking me like, why don't you speak
about your dad? Why don't you do anything that celebrates
him in that way? And I think it was always
because you know, as British people were very like, we
don't want to talk about anything. We're very like, you know,
(12:47):
we're going to go from one thing to the next
and not really talk about our feelings. So it took
me a while to actually get to a point where
I felt like I was able to really open up
and let that guard down, because you know, you just
want to keep going on. You don't want to make
the other I always just felt like I didn't want
to make other people feel uncomfortable with my with my issues.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
If you like, it's not funny you were more worried
about other people than processing what you were going through.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I know. It's like that's just where I'm quite a
people pleaser. So I always just a'm like, yeah, yeah, sure,
do no worries, and you know, sometimes that's that's something
I'm trying to work on a little bit more. But
it's something that I uh, it's for the longest of times,
I was very much just wanting I think that comes
from growing up gay as well. It's like you always
(13:31):
just want to make sure people don't find out that
thing about you that might make them hate you. And
you know, I was always trying to just be the
you know, I feel like it's the I don't know
if this is what they call, but it's like the
best little boy syndrome. You know, you want to be
like the best that you can be so that they
didn't care who you were or they didn't read too
(13:53):
much into any of that. And it's so I think
that's just the era of growing up then was a
bit of a.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Challenge yeah, yeah, for sure. And that's something I think
we kind of by default as gay men, still experience
as we continue going through this life in little moments,
and then we have to check ourselves like, oh wait, no,
I don't need to still think like that or act
like that, because it is something that we were kind
of brought up to be, Like, yeah, and I grew up.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
In a small town. I'm not sure where did you
grow up?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Small town? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:19):
See, I grew up in Plymouth in the southwest of
the UK, and I didn't know of I didn't know
anyone gay like I, you know, you saw you know,
Will and Grace or any kind of gay person. Was
extremely flamboyant, and lots of people on the in Plymouth
would talk very you know, in derogatory terms around these people.
(14:42):
So I was like, oh my gosh, Like, well, you're
growing up and you realize that thing about you that
is so what society tells you is wrong. You always
want to try and overcompensate for that. And yeah, I
think that always will stick with you, like you say, forever,
even as you get older. You like, there's sometimes I'm like,
oh my gosh, like I can't believe I did that
or can't believe I said that, what are other people
going to think? And I'm really hopeful for this next
(15:04):
generation that you know, people can just grow up just
being themselves and have parents and family members around them
that just love them for who they are.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Wouldn't that be nice?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Wouldn't it be lovely?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
That would be so nice.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I always just you know, like and also just the
fact that I find it weird that people care so
much about what people get up to in their private
life anyway, Like, if you're a good athlete, you're a
good athlete. Yeah, if you're a good podcast host, you
a good podcast. It doesn't matter, right, Like, it does
not matter about like anything else. If you get it,
what you do surrender us.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Well, I think it's really cool that you were in
this high profile career, everybody was in your business and
you still allowed yourself the chance to find love and
be who you knew you were always meant to be, right,
and you did meet your husband, which I feel like
a wink face is is what needs to be given
all the credit for why you twour together.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, the night we met, it was actually funny because
it wasn't him that came over and asked for my number.
It was my well, it was his assistant. He was
very cute. Came over and Gate said, oh, Lance wants
(16:23):
your your number, can you put it in? And I
was like, yeah, sure, So I put my number in
and then put a winky face at the end of it.
And that's when Lance said that no heterosexual man would
ever put a winky face at the end of their number.
And that's when he knew. And that was twelve and
a bit years ago. Now, wow, just crazy wow.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
And you weren't out to the public at the time.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
No, I wasn't, which was again a really scary thing
because like growing up in the UK, it was like
every single decision, every single thing that I did, was
under some kind of media scrutiny. Like I had to
know coming back from my first Olympics at fourteen, going
back to school and dealing with bullying and the whole
the UK, knowing that I was going through that, the
(17:07):
whole of the UK, knowing that I'd lost my dad,
all of these things that I was having to deal
with quite publicly, and now, you know, falling in love
and being like, oh my gosh, what am I going
to do here now? Because growing up is tough enough anyway,
but then having to like explore your sexuality in a
kind of hidden way and not really knowing what you
can do. You don't want to get caught. But then
also you don't want to be ashamed of who you are.
(17:29):
You don't want other people to think you're a shape.
So it was really like there was so much going
through my head at that point. It was it was
a really challenging time, and I felt like that was
why I decided to come out in the end of
twenty thirteen, because I'd met Lance in the march. I
told my friends and family, and it got to the
point where I was asked in an interview what I
(17:50):
thought of you know, or they said something like, what,
you have lots of gay fans. Why do you think
that is? And I was like, well, probably because I'm
half naked all the time, people that wear more close
to bed than they do to work. So then they
were like, okay, what about the people that think that
you're gay? And I was like, what does it matter
if I am? Like, it doesn't matter, And then the
(18:10):
headline was that I am not gay, but I don't
care if you think I am, and I was so like,
I was like really frustrated that that had kind of
been taken that way. So then I got to a
point I was like, you know what, it's time to
come out. And I came out in a way that
was the way that I knew how and that was
through YouTube or through social media, because I didn't want
(18:31):
anybody to ask any follow up questions. I didn't want
anybody to twist my words. I just wanted to be
able to say exactly what I wanted to say at
the time. And I think there was something that became
to be quite powerful, and I believe now it's very
powerful with social media, is being able to have a
little bit more control over your narrative and not just
kind of letting other people take control of that.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
And I love that you did that, even when I
believe it was your management team at first was not
for you being out, Yeah right, No, No, it was.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah. I was really terrified about coming out because I
was told i'd lose sponsorship. I was told I would
not be able to compete in certain countries, and it
was really kind of like they had built it up
that it was going to be like, you know, apocalyptic,
and I you know, any coming out is hard enough
anyway for anyone, no matter if you're in a place
where it's super easy to come out or but it's
(19:22):
it really felt like it was going to It was
like coming up to this cliff where I was like, well,
I'm just this is this is the edge, and I
am about to post this video and I have no
idea what is going to be what's going to happen
on the other side of this, And the reception was
overwhelmingly positive. I mean, of course you can always get
a few like derogatory things, but it was overwhelmingly positive.
(19:44):
And I felt for the first time I could go
into a competition, go into training, and just have that
weight lifted off of me. And I felt that it
was like so nice to be able to just have
that be just feel like I could just be me.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
What a gift you gave yourself in that moment, even
though you were scared and probably a little uneasy of
what this would mean for your professional career you work
so hard for, but you still allow yourself to go
forward and openly speak your truth, which I think is
really hard and really admirable for so many people listening
right now who might be in a position we both were,
you know, years ago, who are struggling with their identity
(20:19):
or their sexuality. What would you say to them?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I would say, find So I have my best friend,
Sophie was the first person that I told, and I
would say, find your Sophie, find your person that you
can confide in. And because saying it out loud to
one other person changes everything keeping I kept so much
(20:42):
to myself for the longest time, and I found it
so difficult to just live each day without having to
think about every single thing. I'd said, what happens if
I do this, what happens if I say something in
this kind of way, and just being able to say
it to one person just allows you to be Like,
if you can be your one hundred percent yourself with
(21:04):
one person, it just allows you to just finally live
like because I would have then times where Sophie would
come over and we would have like din and I
could just be me. Not that I would be any different,
but I just never had to worry about anything like
slipping up or like saying something or whatever it may
have been. And so I would say I would encourage
(21:24):
people to be able to find that person that they
can really confide in.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, even if they're not ready to tell everybody, just
having someone is so important.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Someone that they can trust, just to be able to
you know, really, you know. And of course it takes
time and it's difficult to find those people and I'm
really lucky to have had those people around me.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
That's amazing. I love that, and I love that we
see in this documentary so much about that because it
is an important piece of your life and your story
that I think a lot of people will be able
to relate to. And you open up about so many
other things. And I don't want to go into everything
because people need to watch it. But one of the
things that definitely struck me was your relationship with body.
And I think as men, we don't talk about that
a lot. And I thought that was really cool you
(22:04):
put it out there, and also really sad that somebody
professionally made you think that something was wrong with you
at a certain point.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Yeah, I got it. Was like right before the London
twenty twelve Olympics, my performance director said that I needed
to lose weight and that I was overweight and he
wanted to need to look more like I did in
two thousand and eight, but I mean I was coming
up for eighteen and in twentyd and eight, I was fourteen,
and I'm you know, an eighteen year old's never going
to look like a fourteen year old again. And it
was the first time that people I felt like people
(22:31):
were looking at my body more in not just a
performance way, as the way that it looked. And ever
since then I kind of spiraled into this not really
knowing what to do with that. I didn't have the
nutritional information I didn't have, and I didn't really want
to bring too much up with my psychologists because men
didn't have eating disorders. Men didn't have any problems with,
(22:51):
you know, struggling to figure out what they should or
shouldn't eat, and then not eating and then eating too
much and then completely binging and then have to do
feeling so guilty you have to do something about that,
and then it kind of just spiraled from there. And
what was hard is because I know rationally that I
know that I'm doing fine and it's all good, but
(23:13):
there's just this thing in the back of your head
that makes you question every single thing that you eat,
every single thing that you do, feeling guilty for like
feeling like you. And I would weigh myself every single day.
The coaches would make me weigh myself and if you
weren't at the right way, you'd have to go and
run until you lost weight. And it was all of
these things and it really created an unhealthy body image
(23:33):
thing where And also there's such high standards when it
comes to things on social media, and it's and no
matter how rationally you can think in being able to
say I'm doing fine, like we're good, there's always something.
There's always something in the back of your head. And
I know people think, oh, gosh, he's doing all right,
like boohoo, poor you. But like I know rationally that yes,
(23:57):
I know, but it's not as simple as that, and
it wouldn't be like and that's something that I've had
to It's been one of my biggest struggles in my life, honestly,
with body image. And I know that seems extreme to say,
but it's you know, when you spend your whole life
out on a platform with no clothes on, it's a
(24:17):
very vulnerable position to be in. And if you're you've
gone from just being able to not care at all
with what you're wearing and out competing and doing your
thing and having the time of your life to then
somebody commenting on that and you're like, oh my gosh,
people are looking at me like that was the first
time that I didn't I thought, oh god, Like every
time I go out there, people are looking at if
(24:38):
I'm fat or not. And it played with my head
like really bad for a really long time. And I
feel like I'm getting better with it now, but you know,
it's still plays on my mind.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Yeah, it's still something I'm sure you have to work
throughout certain times, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
And I think it's also because I've spent my whole
life as an athlete, people assume that I'm just going
to be in the best shape all year round, right,
There's no ups and downs to it. So then if
you go to like a I know this is niche,
but like if you go to a photo shoot or
you go to anything like that, and then they're like,
oh yeah, well you like take your top off and
you're like, oh god, like you know, I'm And it's
(25:15):
hard now as a retired athlete as well, going into
anything where you're like, okay, well, normally I would be
training six hours a day, six days a week and
i'd be, you know, in pretty good condition. Now like
my training regime is not the same, and it's just
like and now everything is slightly different, and so then
you have it all kind of triggers things in different ways.
But you know, it's again, it's something that I have
(25:36):
to I just have to keep working well.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
And I think it's important to talk about too, because
when you have a certain type of and if this
phrase isn't correct, forgive me, but what I interpret as
like a body dysmorphia, you can't control what you think.
So even someone on the outside saying, well Tom looks great,
and I don't understand, and that's just so silly that yeah, yes,
sure that's great, but you can't control what you think
(26:00):
when you go through something like that. And I have
a background. I came from the modeling world and I
saw it all the time, and I had agents say
to me, you know, I was a former gymnast and
they'd say your back, stupid, you're next, too fat, like
all the things that to fuck with you, and you
can't help that. It's part of when you're learning who
you are and coming to terms with who you're going
to be. Those opinions matter, yeah, and it takes a
(26:22):
while to shake them, sometimes totally.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
And it's you know, of course, like if you were
able to think about it rationally, it wouldn't be an issue.
But that's the problem. And I think lots of men,
especially in the gay community, really do struggle with that
because they it's there's so many standards out there, and
you're always chasing that something else, and although you may
be the person that the somebody is aiming towards getting towards,
(26:49):
you're also then working towards getting to somebody else in
terms of like body aesthetic that you might be going for.
And it's so it's this constant thing and then you
know it's annoyay. It's that you find your like hating
the way that you look, and then you look back,
and then in two years time goes by and then
you look back, you know, like, oh my gosh, I
wish I look like that again. And then it's this
(27:10):
about never being happy with like where you're at. And
I don't know if that's like a constant thing around
perfectionism that I've had in sport or anything like that,
but I feel like there are more men than probably
care to admit that worry about that stuff as.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Well, one hundred percent. That's why I said earlier, it's
so important that you brought it up. And whether everybody
understands it or not, that's not your business, right because
you're speaking your truth and you hope that it can
help somebody who does go through something in a similar way.
So I think that that alone is a message we
need more of. And I'm glad that it's in the
documentary and that you got to speak about it more
today because we need that as men. We need to
(27:46):
stop pretending like everything's always okay and we're macho and
don't feel and go through the same shit that a
lot of women go through. It's human nature, I know.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
And that's that's another thing when it came to the
grieving process and my dad, like, it's just there's always
a these stereotypes of what a man should be, and like,
at the end of the day, a man can be
so many different things, and I think we have to,
you know, embrace our emotions more. And I just really
struggle with that. I always have my guard up around
that stuff.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
So, yeah, yeah, what is your relationship with grief like today?
Because it's something that again we don't speak about a lot,
and that happened. You lost your dad a while ago now,
but do you still have a relationship you're working through
with grief?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yes, I mean grief kind of like is always there, right,
And I feel like this documentary really kind of tapped
into that in a weird kind of like therapy way.
But I still find myself I lost my granddad last year,
and I also found myself kind of like not really
acknowledging it and kind of being like, well, you know,
(28:48):
that happened, move on, and like not being able to.
It's almost like sometimes when things feel so bad, you
just like you don't acknowledge that it happen. And I
feel like that's almost what's happened. Even at the time,
that's what happened with my dad, Like I felt like
his memory was still so alive that it was you know,
he was still around. But now I find myself having
(29:10):
days where I'm like, oh, gosh, he's like not forgetting
that he was around, but like you have a day
where you don't he isn't necessarily at the front of
mine at every single moment, and you're like, oh my gosh,
Like that's and I feel bad for that, and then
I'm like, oh should I like, how should he be
involved in my life now that he's no longer here?
(29:31):
And how often should I be thinking of him? Is
that everything that I because now I'm a dad myself,
so my all my time and effort and energy goes
into them, and like, once you kind of go for
that full circle moment, it really feels I don't know,
like I understand, Like I can't even imagine what my
dad was going through finding out that he had this
(29:53):
terminal diagnosis. And he was thirty five when he found
out that he was he had this diagnosis, and he
died when he was forty, so, which is now being
thirty one that is so like forty is so like
incredibly young. And you know, he had three kids, Like
I was the oldest seventeen, My brother was fifteen, and
(30:14):
my youngest brother was twelve at the time, and so
they were really young to lose their dad. And it's
it's just yeah, I think now coming full circle and
being a parent and seeing the sacrifices that he made
for us as kids and now being able to do
the same for my children is you know, I just
hope that I have the same relationship that I did
(30:36):
with my dad, and I feel like I have that
with my kids, which has been so lovely. Like we
named our oldest son after my dad, so he's a Robbie,
so it's you know, yeah, it does feel like it's
and I feel like this is what the documentary kind
of did. It was like me with my dad and
kind of getting into like my life and then by
the end I was able to dive at the Olympics
(30:57):
in front of my kids and it kind of all
came full circle.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
It was such a cool moment to see that and
the pride on your family's faces, you know when that
moment happened. It's really cool and I love that the
kids got to experience that and what a proud moment
that it must have been for them. It's it's beautiful.
Maybe got me a little emotional watching And I'm not
gonna lie. Are you tired of everybody asking you if
(31:25):
you're really retired? Because I know it comes up in
every interview. Are you over it? Are you tired? Or
you like, stop asking me.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
I'm tired of retired? No, I know if I'm being honest, like,
if it wasn't for like the kids and like other
things and just wanting to be able to live life
while I still like can I you know, who knows.
I might have carried on, but I also like most
divers are like that, they retired between the ages of
like twenty four and twenty six. I carried on until
(31:53):
I was thirty, and you know, like my body kind
of was falling apart. You know, I did get to
the end of the documentary. When I first watched it,
I was like, ah, I want to do that again, like,
because there is nothing no feeling like being able to
stand on top of an Olympic platform when you're competing
at the Olympics that you work really hard for, the
adrenaline rush of it, the excitement of it, the competition
(32:17):
of it all, and then standing on the top of
a podium and there is no feeling like that. There
isn't that. Let's say, there's not a knitting Olympics the
way you can speed knit and get on top of
a podium. There isn't There isn't a feeling like that.
So it's definitely an adjustment to figure out what that
next thing is for me. But yeah, no, I think
(32:39):
I'm I'm happy right now being retired.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Would you ever consider coaching?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
You know, I thought I might have considered coaching. I'd
definitely be up for mentoring. I do mentor a couple
of athletes currently, but I coaching. For me, coaches are
the most under race people on the planet because they
are there every single training session. They're through the whole thing. Yeah,
they don't do it and they like So for me,
(33:10):
if I was there for every single training session, every
single competition, I'd rather do it. Be like, yeah, I'd
rather do it myself and you know, be involved in
it and really be in it. But you know, if
it ever came to it, but yeah, I would definitely coach.
But for right now, I think there's lots of other
(33:31):
things I want to do. It might be like I
feel like, and I know it sounds silly, but I
feel like coaching for me would feel like a retirement job,
whereas I kind of want to figure out another career
before that. Maybe when I'm like, I say retirement job,
but like maybe the last ten years of my working life,
i'd work as a coach.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Okay, Yeah, I think what's cool is the world is
your oyster we're gonna we're gonna see where you end
up and what you keep doing, and you, only you
will figure that out, and you're gonna do what makes
you happy. You've already accomplished so much, so now it's
your time to figure out what you want that to
look like next for you. And in the meantime, you know,
I hope you have a hell of a lot of
fun doing it all. I mean, aren't you doing Traders
(34:10):
coming up?
Speaker 2 (34:10):
I have filmed The Traders, which was so much fun.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Was that fine?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
It was a lot of fun. And I also just
finished filming a new TV show called Game of waol.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
I know it sounds sounds like a competition series involving
knitting exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
It's like a fake off for knitting. I'm hosting this
TV show. We've got two judges and then there's like
ten contestants, and each week someone gets cast off, which
is a knitting pun. If you know how to knit,
you cast off your stitches, off your needles. It's you know,
it's I never knew that there were so many puns
in the world of knitting. I don't actually know how
(34:46):
much is actually going to be able to be safe
for TV. To be honest, but it was it was
a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Okay, we look forward to both of those. Was it
while being away for traders because you don't used to
give up your phone and like all of it?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yeah, they have, like I think for this version they
had some kind of like rules with people with children
to be able to still have some communication. But it
was a Yeah, it was a very wild experience, but
it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Good for you all part of your next journey, which
I love, Tom. I could talk to you for hours more.
I'm just I'm loving this conversation. And no surprise, after
I watched the documentary, I knew I would. But as
we start to wrap up, the name of the show
is called I've never said this before, and it was
born because I cover a lot of red carpets and
press junkets where you have three minutes maybe five minutes
with somebody and it's all sound by conversation and it's not,
(35:35):
in my opinion, the realist conversation you can have. And
I love bringing on inspiring influential people and getting to
see real sides to you and getting giving you an
opportunity to talk about things that means something to you.
So I wrap up every episode by asking, what is
one thing you've never said before whatever that means to you.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Oh, gosh, something I've never said before. I feel like
I've been such an open book my whole life that
I've always spoken very openly about everything that I think
something I've never said before is as a parent, I
(36:14):
find that being two working parents is one of the
most difficult things and something that I wasn't anticipating being
as difficult as it was, because your kids are the
most important thing in your whole life, right, and you
will do anything for them, and they are therefore like
(36:35):
they are the most important things in your life. Every
decision you make, they come first. But when you're in
the trenches and currently, like we have a two year
old that's party training, I've been picking up poop off
the pool side, and we've been doing all kinds of things.
But that I feel like not enough people talk about
(36:56):
the guilt of being a working parent and trying to
figure out the balance of being around because when I'm
in LA I'm like, they're like, I am like there
all day and not doing as much stuff, whereas then
I have to travel to do work and the guilt
that I feel being away from my kids is so
it like rips my heart open and to the point
(37:18):
where I try to condense everything as humanly possible. I mean,
I've taken the Red Eye to come here. I'm here
for thirty six hours maybe less, and then flying back.
But I feel like I've probably never really spoken about
the guilt that i feel about being away from my
kids when I'm doing any of my work stuff. And
I know parents have to work and you can't be
(37:39):
around your kids all the time, but that I yeah,
and being able to balance that with Lance's career and
my career as something that I've really kind of struggled with.
But it's something that I always feel really bad talking
about because I'm also very lucky to have the opportunity
to work in the places that I do and the
things that I do. But it's just, yeah, I think
(38:01):
that's probably something I've actually never said before. The guilt
that I feel when I go to work.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Well, that's very human. I mean I'm not a parent myself,
but I have a lot of friends who experience that,
and it is it is part of being a working person, right,
It's not and you don't have a nine to five,
So you do have these weird hours where you are
away for periods of time, and I imagine that does
sometimes get kind of heavy on the heart, right.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Yeah, it does get heavy on the heart. And then like,
for example, you know, always one of us will be
able to make it, but like being here today, Like
there's Robbie's animal project at school, for example, that they're presenting,
and like, I it eats me up inside that I'm
not there for that today, Like I've been for all
(38:44):
of his other shows this whole year, but it's like
like I'm missing one and I feel so awful about it,
and there's no way of being able to you know,
like what do you do in that situation because you
have to work? But then like yeah, so that eats
me up.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Do you ever have a day as a parent, as
a dad where it's just like the guilt is so
intense and you have so much going on that you
just break down and you're like this this is just
I'm done.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
I think lots of parents will do get to the
point where you're like oh my gosh and completely overwhelmed
and completely you know, in over your head and you're like,
oh my gosh, like, how how do I deal with
this situation? Because you know, there's where with a seven
year old and a two year old, like the seven
(39:35):
year old is very much doing his own thing now,
but the two year old is like, especially the second child,
he's feral. He likes to climb, run, jump, and do
all So there's always this kind of humming background stress
all the time to make sure that they're okay. And
it's yeah, there are times where you're like, oh my gosh, like,
how how am I ever going to be able to
(39:56):
do all of this stuff and be able to manage it?
And it does feel overwhelming and I think, you know,
parents always tried to put on a brave face and
be like, you know, it's we're good, it's this is
this is part of it, it's all part of it.
It's all good. But actually it's it's really hard. It's
beautiful and it's amazing and it's magical and it's so
much love there, but it's it's hard, and you think, yeah,
(40:18):
so some days I just want to kind of I
guess I want to say, like two other parents out
there that you know, I see you when you're in
the trenches for this like there's some difficult age ranges.
It's yeah, it's we're all going through it, and it's
a and I guess lots of the parents that have
older kids, but like, you'll get through it and you'll
(40:38):
wish you were back in this in this stage, so
you know, we'll see ask me in two years.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yeah, yeah, Well that's why I love the show and
I love that question because of answers like that, and
it just connects people and in a way that makes
you feel like, oh my god, I'm not going through
this alone and other people think like me, and I
just think that's really cool and we can collectively come
together and share those speriences that many of us go
through and we just don't always talk about. So thank
you for answering that, and thank you for hanging out.
(41:06):
I know you've done a lot of press throughout the
course of your career, and I'm sure you have a
very interesting relationship with press, you know, from your time
as a professional athlete and to today. So hopefully you
came in here feeling good.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yeah, it was fun accompany. It's all gone so quickly,
I know.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Well, I love your story, I love your documentary. So
for everybody listening. It's available exclusively on Olympics dot Com
in the US and Discovery Plus in the UK, So
everybody watch it right now. It is so fantastic, and
thank you for hanging out, and thank you for being
a pillar in the community that so many people can
look up to.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Well, thank you for having me. And now I have
to just stay awake because I'm hoping to go to
the theater this evening very nice.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Well, I hope you stay away. Thank you. I've never
said this before. It is hosted by Me Tommy Diderio.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Pivle at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Durant
(42:08):
podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio.
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me.
Tommy de Dario, one of the greatest athletes in the world,
joins my show today and man, what a conversation you
are about to hear. The five time Olympic medalist Tom
Daily dove his way into the studio. See what I
did there. It's a chat all about his incredible life.
(00:23):
His new documentary, Tom Daily one point six Seconds is
out now and we are covering it all. Tom's giving
us a really intimate look at the challenges of growing
up in the public eye and facing physical and mental
pressures of being his country's big metal hope. He emotionally
discusses losing his father Roberts, cancer, and coming out in
the media, and of course he opens up about making
(00:46):
the decision to retire from the competition at the age
of thirty, and so much more. Tom's not only a
sporting legend, but he's a champion for important social issues
and he has shaped the world far beyond what I
imagine he even thought was possible. And a big shout
out to Travel Guard, my personal sponsor for today's episode.
Their mission it's to make sure we safely say hello
(01:07):
to our next destination a vacation insurance plan from travel Guard.
It helps to protect your trip investment with coverages like
trip cancelation and interruption, medical expense, and evacuation, lost or
delayed baggage, which is the biggest pain for anyone who
has gone through that, and so much more so, Let's
enjoy our trips without the headaches and launching soon, you guys,
is my Pride series with travel Guard about how the
(01:30):
community can stay safe during their travels. So visit travelguard
dot com for more information on that. And let's see
if today we can get Tom to say something that
he has never said before. Tom Daily, how are you,
my friend?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I am doing alright, you know, a little bit tired,
but nothing like I've ever been before since.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah, you look refreshed off of the plane. I know.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I feel like this last week or so, I've just
been traveling here, there and everywhere. But it's been good.
It's been nice to be able to, you know, just
get out and about and you know, explore a little.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, and for good reason you're traveling. You have an
amazing documentary which we're going to get to, of course,
but I have to start by telling you I'm a
little disappointed. Oh no, I really thought you'd be sitting
across from me. We knitwhere, yes, or knitting a new project,
and here you are without it. And I don't understand
why you decided to show up and not do that,
but I'll have to get over it.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I know double denim instead. Although I do have my
knitting in my bag, so not with me here, but
it's in the car so I do carry it with
me absolutely everywhere, which sometimes I get some weird looks
coming through TSA with a whole set of knitting needles,
because they you know, if you were to scan that
it might look slightly weird.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I'm surprised you can bring big needles through the TSA.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, and scissors as long as they're smaller than four inches.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Oh good to know, Good to know. I still laugh
about that photo when I saw you in the stands
knitting your your sweater was it?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I was knitting in total, I was nitting this like cardigan. Basically,
I started knitting because my coach told me that I
was always on the go, always, I never just sat still,
and that I wasn't very good at resting and recovering.
So was then my husband, who said to me, why
don't you try knitting because people on film sets he
works in film and TV, like, why don't you try knitting?
(03:19):
And I was like, you know, okay, sure, why not.
So I got my needles, got my yarn, went onto
the YouTube University and taught myself out to knit, and
I've he it became my obsession honestly.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's really good for anxiety too.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Oh yeah, I'm able like this is the one time
of the day where my mind is completely quiet and
I love that, and it like I'm able to pass
so much time I can be really present. I genuinely
think that knitting was my superpower and the reason why
I was able to win Ann't be Gone medal in
Tokyo because it was like, during like the COVID Olympics,
there was so much time to overthink everything, and you know,
(03:54):
knitting kind of like took that away. So yeah, I'm
grateful for knitting.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
That's so cool. Well, there is something about that keeps
you super present, right, which is I feel like anyone
who wants to be successful at anything has to have
that mindset.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, I think you have to be able to be
extremely present focused on the process and enjoy the process
as well, because although yes, you want to have a
successful outcome, that's not always the case. So as long
as you can enjoy the process, it's still worth it regardless.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Good for you, man, Well, your documentary one point six
seconds is beautiful. Oh beautiful. I watched it with my husband.
We just we absolutely loved it and thought it was
so raw and open and you know, vulnerable and emotional.
So I guess to kick this off, why was this
the right time in your life to put something like
that out.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Yeah, I mean the production company came to me in
twenty twenty three. I want to say it was two
years after the Tokyo Olympics, because I hadn't died for
two years at that point, I thought I was retired,
and they came to me right at the time when
I was deciding maybe I should come back for one
more Olympic Games in Paris so that my kids could
see me compete. And I think the big thing for
(05:00):
me was I had no idea that so much of
the archival footage existed that my dad had filmed, so
lots of the documentary was me seeing things for the
very first time, and I don't know, retirement was on
the card. So I like being able to sum up
my whole career and then also be able to have
something so that my kids in the future can look
back and see everything that their papa like achieved and did.
(05:23):
There was something about that that I was excited so
that they could see everything in one place.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Wow. I mean, it's remarkable you've accomplished. You began diving
around seventy eight, right, you went to the Olympics at fourteen. Yes,
you won your first World champion at fifteen. Yes, that's
a lot of action very early on in your life,
and you became known as this kind of prodigy diver. Right,
So as you're in this new chapter of your life,
who is Tom Daily without that?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Oh gosh, good question. And I still feel like I'm
figuring that out because diving was such a big part
of my life from the age of seven up until
I was thirty. So there's like now that retirement. It's
weird to say the our word retirement because I'm like,
you know, yes, I'm retired, but it's only from like
my first career in diving. Because now I'm like, Okay,
(06:11):
what am I going to do with my day. I
used to know exactly what time I was waking up,
when I was going to have for breakfast, when I
was going to have my breakfast, what time I was
starting training, when I was going to be home, where
I was going to be traveling, what competition, And now
all of that is out the window. Routine has got.
The only structure I have now really is a school
drop off and school pickup for my kids, and that's
(06:33):
kind of the thing that I revolved my day around now.
But other than that, it's like everything is kind of
like slotted in and people are like, oh, when can
you do this, And I'm like, I guess whenever you want,
But then like I don't know because I don't know
what could be happening that day. Whereas before I knew
I was going to be training, let's say, like eight
till ten thirty and then one thirty till four, so
(06:53):
I knew that if there was something I was going
to have to do, it's either going to be in
and around those times, Whereas now it's kind of like
a you know, bitten it in there, bitten it in there,
and just yeah, live in my life without too many
routines and structures.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I guess, yeah, you're figuring out that person who you
will step into still, right, which I imagine is liberating, but
also probably if you're someone like me who's a little
type A and from watching a documentary you do like
routine and structure, it is also very weird.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, It's something that when I was in diving, all
I ever wanted to do was be like, oh, I
just want to break free of this structure and just
be able to go and do something if I want
to go and do it, whereas now I can, I'm like, oh,
I don't know if I really like that, Like it
was liberating for a while, but then I'm like, Okay,
now I actually quite enjoyed that structure of what I'm
(07:43):
going to And it's kind of I guess lots of
people might have the similar thing if they're not in
a regular, like nine to five job. It's like when
do you start working, when do you stop? What do
you do? How often are you doing it? And then
you end up finding yourself incredibly busy all the time,
and but it's it's been good, and this past year
has been incredibly busy.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
So what would you say after living such a very
public life and having media and the public so intertwined
in your personal life and professional life. What would you
say is one of the biggest misconceptions about you.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Oh, I think lots of people might consider me to
be someone that is like very go go go all
about winning an Olympic gold medal. I'm very serious and
driven towards that, and I do think that I'm probably
one of the more unseerious people. And it was only
really as I got older that I started to care
less about what other people thought, so I was able
to be more me because you know, growing up, I
(08:40):
feel like I was always I'm such a people pleaser,
so I feel like I was always giving people what
I thought they wanted to hear from me, and what
they thought I wanted them to be they wanted me
to be. Like, So I think now I'm a lot
more like I have a different perspective on life. But yeah,
I guess that's not really a misconcier. But I guess
(09:01):
I'm not just about the gold medals. Maybe.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yeah, Well, I think it's important to say that because
when you're such a high achiever and you have accomplished
so much, you can be kind of put in this
category of like that's your only focus, and clearly it's not.
I mean, you're a family man, yeah, her husband. You're
so much more than just That's.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
The danger though. If you want to win an Olympic
gold medal, if you want to be the best at
what you do, it can't be your only thing because
if it is your only thing, you put all of
your self worth and self esteem into that one thing
and what you do, and you have to realize that
you're more than what you do. Yeah, and what you do.
I mean I always say, like, you know, doing sport,
it's not saving lives. I'm not like a brain surgeon
or a heart surgeon. So if you are a heart
(09:40):
surgeon or brain surgeon, I'm sorry you do what you
do every day does really matter. But I always just
I always try to tell myself when I was sriving
that at the end of the day, it's just a game. Yeah,
it's just a game. Yeah, it could be monopoly with
your family. Yeah, the boards have been flipped with that too.
You know, I'm very competitive, but I like to think
of you know, everything, you're able to be able to
(10:00):
put everything you do into perspective to make it feel
smaller and sometimes that's what I find to be really helpful.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Well, and I have to say, based off what you
just said, you know you're an athlete, which I would
argue is also a type of an artist, right, and
you inspire so many people to dream and go after
what it is they want to go after. So yes,
it's not brain surgery, but I would argue it is
equally as important because in this day and age that
we live in, where there can be so much doom
and gloom, you give people that light. So don't take
(10:26):
that away from what you do either, because it is important.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, But I think it's the difference is with when
you go into an Olympic Games and you know it
is the biggest thing that you've been working for. It's
what all your training has come up to for. You
train six hours a day, six days a week for
four years for that one day, and it can feel
like it is the biggest thing that's ever happened in
your life, because for the most part, it probably is
(10:51):
working towards that thing. But if you have that on
your plate, it is so terrifying and there's so much
pressure and anxiety that comes down to perfect those one
point six seconds.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Of a dive.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
So now I if I am only thinking about that
standing down, I'm terrified. So I have to come up
with ways for myself to be able to let go
of that and break free of that, you know, anxiety
and pressure. And for me, that is just making it
feel as little and small as possible.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah, no, that makes total sense. And I imagine having
a support system along the way has also helped with
all of that and been tremendous. And in the documentary
we see the beautiful relationship with you and your parents
and your father who was literally by your side, yeah,
for everything, and you open up about losing him and
so many people have gone through that and what that
grief was like for you, and your way to grieve
(11:39):
kind of was jumping back into work at first, right
and going going, going, exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I wasn't very good at the whole grieving thing. I
think for lots of people, you always think of your
parents as invincible that then you know they're always going
to be around. And you know, my dad was one
of my biggest or the biggest cheerleader I had in
my life. He was there for every training session, every
common whether it was in the UK or abroad, wherever
it was. He was there with his giant Union flag,
(12:05):
waving it in people's faces. He didn't care. And you know,
when I lost him in twenty eleven, it was something
that was so incredibly difficult for our whole family, and
it got to a point where I was like, I
didn't know what to I didn't know what to do,
I didn't know how to cope. So I ended up
just carrying on, going right back to the diving pool,
(12:26):
right back into it, and not really allowing myself to
have time to think about what was coming next. And
for me, it was only when I met my husband
when he started asking me like, why don't you speak
about your dad? Why don't you do anything that celebrates
him in that way? And I think it was always
because you know, as British people were very like, we
don't want to talk about anything. We're very like, you know,
(12:47):
we're going to go from one thing to the next
and not really talk about our feelings. So it took
me a while to actually get to a point where
I felt like I was able to really open up
and let that guard down, because you know, you just
want to keep going on. You don't want to make
the other I always just felt like I didn't want
to make other people feel uncomfortable with my with my issues.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
If you like, it's not funny you were more worried
about other people than processing what you were going through.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I know. It's like that's just where I'm quite a
people pleaser. So I always just a'm like, yeah, yeah, sure,
do no worries, and you know, sometimes that's that's something
I'm trying to work on a little bit more. But
it's something that I uh, it's for the longest of times,
I was very much just wanting I think that comes
from growing up gay as well. It's like you always
(13:31):
just want to make sure people don't find out that
thing about you that might make them hate you. And
you know, I was always trying to just be the
you know, I feel like it's the I don't know
if this is what they call, but it's like the
best little boy syndrome. You know, you want to be
like the best that you can be so that they
didn't care who you were or they didn't read too
(13:53):
much into any of that. And it's so I think
that's just the era of growing up then was a
bit of a.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Challenge yeah, yeah, for sure. And that's something I think
we kind of by default as gay men, still experience
as we continue going through this life in little moments,
and then we have to check ourselves like, oh wait, no,
I don't need to still think like that or act
like that, because it is something that we were kind
of brought up to be, Like, yeah, and I grew up.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
In a small town. I'm not sure where did you
grow up?
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Small town? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:19):
See, I grew up in Plymouth in the southwest of
the UK, and I didn't know of I didn't know
anyone gay like I, you know, you saw you know,
Will and Grace or any kind of gay person. Was
extremely flamboyant, and lots of people on the in Plymouth
would talk very you know, in derogatory terms around these people.
(14:42):
So I was like, oh my gosh, Like, well, you're
growing up and you realize that thing about you that
is so what society tells you is wrong. You always
want to try and overcompensate for that. And yeah, I
think that always will stick with you, like you say, forever,
even as you get older. You like, there's sometimes I'm like,
oh my gosh, like I can't believe I did that
or can't believe I said that, what are other people
going to think? And I'm really hopeful for this next
(15:04):
generation that you know, people can just grow up just
being themselves and have parents and family members around them
that just love them for who they are.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Wouldn't that be nice?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Wouldn't it be lovely?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
That would be so nice.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I always just you know, like and also just the
fact that I find it weird that people care so
much about what people get up to in their private
life anyway, Like, if you're a good athlete, you're a
good athlete. Yeah, if you're a good podcast host, you
a good podcast. It doesn't matter, right, Like, it does
not matter about like anything else. If you get it,
what you do surrender us.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Well, I think it's really cool that you were in
this high profile career, everybody was in your business and
you still allowed yourself the chance to find love and
be who you knew you were always meant to be, right,
and you did meet your husband, which I feel like
a wink face is is what needs to be given
all the credit for why you twour together.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, the night we met, it was actually funny because
it wasn't him that came over and asked for my number.
It was my well, it was his assistant. He was
very cute. Came over and Gate said, oh, Lance wants
(16:23):
your your number, can you put it in? And I
was like, yeah, sure, So I put my number in
and then put a winky face at the end of it.
And that's when Lance said that no heterosexual man would
ever put a winky face at the end of their number.
And that's when he knew. And that was twelve and
a bit years ago. Now, wow, just crazy wow.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
And you weren't out to the public at the time.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
No, I wasn't, which was again a really scary thing
because like growing up in the UK, it was like
every single decision, every single thing that I did, was
under some kind of media scrutiny. Like I had to
know coming back from my first Olympics at fourteen, going
back to school and dealing with bullying and the whole
the UK, knowing that I was going through that, the
(17:07):
whole of the UK, knowing that I'd lost my dad,
all of these things that I was having to deal
with quite publicly, and now, you know, falling in love
and being like, oh my gosh, what am I going
to do here now? Because growing up is tough enough anyway,
but then having to like explore your sexuality in a
kind of hidden way and not really knowing what you
can do. You don't want to get caught. But then
also you don't want to be ashamed of who you are.
(17:29):
You don't want other people to think you're a shape.
So it was really like there was so much going
through my head at that point. It was it was
a really challenging time, and I felt like that was
why I decided to come out in the end of
twenty thirteen, because I'd met Lance in the march. I
told my friends and family, and it got to the
point where I was asked in an interview what I
(17:50):
thought of you know, or they said something like, what,
you have lots of gay fans. Why do you think
that is? And I was like, well, probably because I'm
half naked all the time, people that wear more close
to bed than they do to work. So then they
were like, okay, what about the people that think that
you're gay? And I was like, what does it matter
if I am? Like, it doesn't matter, And then the
(18:10):
headline was that I am not gay, but I don't
care if you think I am, and I was so like,
I was like really frustrated that that had kind of
been taken that way. So then I got to a
point I was like, you know what, it's time to
come out. And I came out in a way that
was the way that I knew how and that was
through YouTube or through social media, because I didn't want
(18:31):
anybody to ask any follow up questions. I didn't want
anybody to twist my words. I just wanted to be
able to say exactly what I wanted to say at
the time. And I think there was something that became
to be quite powerful, and I believe now it's very
powerful with social media, is being able to have a
little bit more control over your narrative and not just
kind of letting other people take control of that.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
And I love that you did that, even when I
believe it was your management team at first was not
for you being out, Yeah right, No, No, it was.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah. I was really terrified about coming out because I
was told i'd lose sponsorship. I was told I would
not be able to compete in certain countries, and it
was really kind of like they had built it up
that it was going to be like, you know, apocalyptic,
and I you know, any coming out is hard enough
anyway for anyone, no matter if you're in a place
where it's super easy to come out or but it's
(19:22):
it really felt like it was going to It was
like coming up to this cliff where I was like, well,
I'm just this is this is the edge, and I
am about to post this video and I have no
idea what is going to be what's going to happen
on the other side of this, And the reception was
overwhelmingly positive. I mean, of course you can always get
a few like derogatory things, but it was overwhelmingly positive.
(19:44):
And I felt for the first time I could go
into a competition, go into training, and just have that
weight lifted off of me. And I felt that it
was like so nice to be able to just have
that be just feel like I could just be me.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
What a gift you gave yourself in that moment, even
though you were scared and probably a little uneasy of
what this would mean for your professional career you work
so hard for, but you still allow yourself to go
forward and openly speak your truth, which I think is
really hard and really admirable for so many people listening
right now who might be in a position we both were,
you know, years ago, who are struggling with their identity
(20:19):
or their sexuality. What would you say to them?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I would say, find So I have my best friend,
Sophie was the first person that I told, and I
would say, find your Sophie, find your person that you
can confide in. And because saying it out loud to
one other person changes everything keeping I kept so much
(20:42):
to myself for the longest time, and I found it
so difficult to just live each day without having to
think about every single thing. I'd said, what happens if
I do this, what happens if I say something in
this kind of way, and just being able to say
it to one person just allows you to be Like,
if you can be your one hundred percent yourself with
(21:04):
one person, it just allows you to just finally live
like because I would have then times where Sophie would
come over and we would have like din and I
could just be me. Not that I would be any different,
but I just never had to worry about anything like
slipping up or like saying something or whatever it may
have been. And so I would say I would encourage
(21:24):
people to be able to find that person that they
can really confide in.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, even if they're not ready to tell everybody, just
having someone is so important.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Someone that they can trust, just to be able to
you know, really, you know. And of course it takes
time and it's difficult to find those people and I'm
really lucky to have had those people around me.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
That's amazing. I love that, and I love that we
see in this documentary so much about that because it
is an important piece of your life and your story
that I think a lot of people will be able
to relate to. And you open up about so many
other things. And I don't want to go into everything
because people need to watch it. But one of the
things that definitely struck me was your relationship with body.
And I think as men, we don't talk about that
a lot. And I thought that was really cool you
(22:04):
put it out there, and also really sad that somebody
professionally made you think that something was wrong with you
at a certain point.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Yeah, I got it. Was like right before the London
twenty twelve Olympics, my performance director said that I needed
to lose weight and that I was overweight and he
wanted to need to look more like I did in
two thousand and eight, but I mean I was coming
up for eighteen and in twentyd and eight, I was fourteen,
and I'm you know, an eighteen year old's never going
to look like a fourteen year old again. And it
was the first time that people I felt like people
(22:31):
were looking at my body more in not just a
performance way, as the way that it looked. And ever
since then I kind of spiraled into this not really
knowing what to do with that. I didn't have the
nutritional information I didn't have, and I didn't really want
to bring too much up with my psychologists because men
didn't have eating disorders. Men didn't have any problems with,
(22:51):
you know, struggling to figure out what they should or
shouldn't eat, and then not eating and then eating too
much and then completely binging and then have to do
feeling so guilty you have to do something about that,
and then it kind of just spiraled from there. And
what was hard is because I know rationally that I
know that I'm doing fine and it's all good, but
(23:13):
there's just this thing in the back of your head
that makes you question every single thing that you eat,
every single thing that you do, feeling guilty for like
feeling like you. And I would weigh myself every single day.
The coaches would make me weigh myself and if you
weren't at the right way, you'd have to go and
run until you lost weight. And it was all of
these things and it really created an unhealthy body image
(23:33):
thing where And also there's such high standards when it
comes to things on social media, and it's and no
matter how rationally you can think in being able to
say I'm doing fine, like we're good, there's always something.
There's always something in the back of your head. And
I know people think, oh, gosh, he's doing all right,
like boohoo, poor you. But like I know rationally that yes,
(23:57):
I know, but it's not as simple as that, and
it wouldn't be like and that's something that I've had
to It's been one of my biggest struggles in my life, honestly,
with body image. And I know that seems extreme to say,
but it's you know, when you spend your whole life
out on a platform with no clothes on, it's a
(24:17):
very vulnerable position to be in. And if you're you've
gone from just being able to not care at all
with what you're wearing and out competing and doing your
thing and having the time of your life to then
somebody commenting on that and you're like, oh my gosh,
people are looking at me like that was the first
time that I didn't I thought, oh god, Like every
time I go out there, people are looking at if
(24:38):
I'm fat or not. And it played with my head
like really bad for a really long time. And I
feel like I'm getting better with it now, but you know,
it's still plays on my mind.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Yeah, it's still something I'm sure you have to work
throughout certain times, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
And I think it's also because I've spent my whole
life as an athlete, people assume that I'm just going
to be in the best shape all year round, right,
There's no ups and downs to it. So then if
you go to like a I know this is niche,
but like if you go to a photo shoot or
you go to anything like that, and then they're like,
oh yeah, well you like take your top off and
you're like, oh god, like you know, I'm And it's
(25:15):
hard now as a retired athlete as well, going into
anything where you're like, okay, well, normally I would be
training six hours a day, six days a week and
i'd be, you know, in pretty good condition. Now like
my training regime is not the same, and it's just
like and now everything is slightly different, and so then
you have it all kind of triggers things in different ways.
But you know, it's again, it's something that I have
(25:36):
to I just have to keep working well.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
And I think it's important to talk about too, because
when you have a certain type of and if this
phrase isn't correct, forgive me, but what I interpret as
like a body dysmorphia, you can't control what you think.
So even someone on the outside saying, well Tom looks great,
and I don't understand, and that's just so silly that yeah, yes,
sure that's great, but you can't control what you think
(26:00):
when you go through something like that. And I have
a background. I came from the modeling world and I
saw it all the time, and I had agents say
to me, you know, I was a former gymnast and
they'd say your back, stupid, you're next, too fat, like
all the things that to fuck with you, and you
can't help that. It's part of when you're learning who
you are and coming to terms with who you're going
to be. Those opinions matter, yeah, and it takes a
(26:22):
while to shake them, sometimes totally.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
And it's you know, of course, like if you were
able to think about it rationally, it wouldn't be an issue.
But that's the problem. And I think lots of men,
especially in the gay community, really do struggle with that
because they it's there's so many standards out there, and
you're always chasing that something else, and although you may
be the person that the somebody is aiming towards getting towards,
(26:49):
you're also then working towards getting to somebody else in
terms of like body aesthetic that you might be going for.
And it's so it's this constant thing and then you
know it's annoyay. It's that you find your like hating
the way that you look, and then you look back,
and then in two years time goes by and then
you look back, you know, like, oh my gosh, I
wish I look like that again. And then it's this
(27:10):
about never being happy with like where you're at. And
I don't know if that's like a constant thing around
perfectionism that I've had in sport or anything like that,
but I feel like there are more men than probably
care to admit that worry about that stuff as.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Well, one hundred percent. That's why I said earlier, it's
so important that you brought it up. And whether everybody
understands it or not, that's not your business, right because
you're speaking your truth and you hope that it can
help somebody who does go through something in a similar way.
So I think that that alone is a message we
need more of. And I'm glad that it's in the
documentary and that you got to speak about it more
today because we need that as men. We need to
(27:46):
stop pretending like everything's always okay and we're macho and
don't feel and go through the same shit that a
lot of women go through. It's human nature, I know.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
And that's that's another thing when it came to the
grieving process and my dad, like, it's just there's always
a these stereotypes of what a man should be, and like,
at the end of the day, a man can be
so many different things, and I think we have to,
you know, embrace our emotions more. And I just really
struggle with that. I always have my guard up around
that stuff.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
So, yeah, yeah, what is your relationship with grief like today?
Because it's something that again we don't speak about a lot,
and that happened. You lost your dad a while ago now,
but do you still have a relationship you're working through
with grief?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yes, I mean grief kind of like is always there, right,
And I feel like this documentary really kind of tapped
into that in a weird kind of like therapy way.
But I still find myself I lost my granddad last year,
and I also found myself kind of like not really
acknowledging it and kind of being like, well, you know,
(28:48):
that happened, move on, and like not being able to.
It's almost like sometimes when things feel so bad, you
just like you don't acknowledge that it happen. And I
feel like that's almost what's happened. Even at the time,
that's what happened with my dad, Like I felt like
his memory was still so alive that it was you know,
he was still around. But now I find myself having
(29:10):
days where I'm like, oh, gosh, he's like not forgetting
that he was around, but like you have a day
where you don't he isn't necessarily at the front of
mine at every single moment, and you're like, oh my gosh,
Like that's and I feel bad for that, and then
I'm like, oh should I like, how should he be
involved in my life now that he's no longer here?
(29:31):
And how often should I be thinking of him? Is
that everything that I because now I'm a dad myself,
so my all my time and effort and energy goes
into them, and like, once you kind of go for
that full circle moment, it really feels I don't know,
like I understand, Like I can't even imagine what my
dad was going through finding out that he had this
(29:53):
terminal diagnosis. And he was thirty five when he found
out that he was he had this diagnosis, and he
died when he was forty, so, which is now being
thirty one that is so like forty is so like
incredibly young. And you know, he had three kids, Like
I was the oldest seventeen, My brother was fifteen, and
(30:14):
my youngest brother was twelve at the time, and so
they were really young to lose their dad. And it's
it's just yeah, I think now coming full circle and
being a parent and seeing the sacrifices that he made
for us as kids and now being able to do
the same for my children is you know, I just
hope that I have the same relationship that I did
(30:36):
with my dad, and I feel like I have that
with my kids, which has been so lovely. Like we
named our oldest son after my dad, so he's a Robbie,
so it's you know, yeah, it does feel like it's
and I feel like this is what the documentary kind
of did. It was like me with my dad and
kind of getting into like my life and then by
the end I was able to dive at the Olympics
(30:57):
in front of my kids and it kind of all
came full circle.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
It was such a cool moment to see that and
the pride on your family's faces, you know when that
moment happened. It's really cool and I love that the
kids got to experience that and what a proud moment
that it must have been for them. It's it's beautiful.
Maybe got me a little emotional watching And I'm not
gonna lie. Are you tired of everybody asking you if
(31:25):
you're really retired? Because I know it comes up in
every interview. Are you over it? Are you tired? Or
you like, stop asking me.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
I'm tired of retired? No, I know if I'm being honest, like,
if it wasn't for like the kids and like other
things and just wanting to be able to live life
while I still like can I you know, who knows.
I might have carried on, but I also like most
divers are like that, they retired between the ages of
like twenty four and twenty six. I carried on until
(31:53):
I was thirty, and you know, like my body kind
of was falling apart. You know, I did get to
the end of the documentary. When I first watched it,
I was like, ah, I want to do that again, like,
because there is nothing no feeling like being able to
stand on top of an Olympic platform when you're competing
at the Olympics that you work really hard for, the
adrenaline rush of it, the excitement of it, the competition
(32:17):
of it all, and then standing on the top of
a podium and there is no feeling like that. There
isn't that. Let's say, there's not a knitting Olympics the
way you can speed knit and get on top of
a podium. There isn't There isn't a feeling like that.
So it's definitely an adjustment to figure out what that
next thing is for me. But yeah, no, I think
(32:39):
I'm I'm happy right now being retired.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Would you ever consider coaching?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
You know, I thought I might have considered coaching. I'd
definitely be up for mentoring. I do mentor a couple
of athletes currently, but I coaching. For me, coaches are
the most under race people on the planet because they
are there every single training session. They're through the whole thing. Yeah,
they don't do it and they like So for me,
(33:10):
if I was there for every single training session, every
single competition, I'd rather do it. Be like, yeah, I'd
rather do it myself and you know, be involved in
it and really be in it. But you know, if
it ever came to it, but yeah, I would definitely coach.
But for right now, I think there's lots of other
(33:31):
things I want to do. It might be like I
feel like, and I know it sounds silly, but I
feel like coaching for me would feel like a retirement job,
whereas I kind of want to figure out another career
before that. Maybe when I'm like, I say retirement job,
but like maybe the last ten years of my working life,
i'd work as a coach.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Okay, Yeah, I think what's cool is the world is
your oyster we're gonna we're gonna see where you end
up and what you keep doing, and you, only you
will figure that out, and you're gonna do what makes
you happy. You've already accomplished so much, so now it's
your time to figure out what you want that to
look like next for you. And in the meantime, you know,
I hope you have a hell of a lot of
fun doing it all. I mean, aren't you doing Traders
(34:10):
coming up?
Speaker 2 (34:10):
I have filmed The Traders, which was so much fun.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Was that fine?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
It was a lot of fun. And I also just
finished filming a new TV show called Game of waol.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
I know it sounds sounds like a competition series involving
knitting exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
It's like a fake off for knitting. I'm hosting this
TV show. We've got two judges and then there's like
ten contestants, and each week someone gets cast off, which
is a knitting pun. If you know how to knit,
you cast off your stitches, off your needles. It's you know,
it's I never knew that there were so many puns
in the world of knitting. I don't actually know how
(34:46):
much is actually going to be able to be safe
for TV. To be honest, but it was it was
a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Okay, we look forward to both of those. Was it
while being away for traders because you don't used to
give up your phone and like all of it?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Yeah, they have, like I think for this version they
had some kind of like rules with people with children
to be able to still have some communication. But it
was a Yeah, it was a very wild experience, but
it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Good for you all part of your next journey, which
I love, Tom. I could talk to you for hours more.
I'm just I'm loving this conversation. And no surprise, after
I watched the documentary, I knew I would. But as
we start to wrap up, the name of the show
is called I've never said this before, and it was
born because I cover a lot of red carpets and
press junkets where you have three minutes maybe five minutes
with somebody and it's all sound by conversation and it's not,
(35:35):
in my opinion, the realist conversation you can have. And
I love bringing on inspiring influential people and getting to
see real sides to you and getting giving you an
opportunity to talk about things that means something to you.
So I wrap up every episode by asking, what is
one thing you've never said before whatever that means to you.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Oh, gosh, something I've never said before. I feel like
I've been such an open book my whole life that
I've always spoken very openly about everything that I think
something I've never said before is as a parent, I
(36:14):
find that being two working parents is one of the
most difficult things and something that I wasn't anticipating being
as difficult as it was, because your kids are the
most important thing in your whole life, right, and you
will do anything for them, and they are therefore like
(36:35):
they are the most important things in your life. Every
decision you make, they come first. But when you're in
the trenches and currently, like we have a two year
old that's party training, I've been picking up poop off
the pool side, and we've been doing all kinds of things.
But that I feel like not enough people talk about
(36:56):
the guilt of being a working parent and trying to
figure out the balance of being around because when I'm
in LA I'm like, they're like, I am like there
all day and not doing as much stuff, whereas then
I have to travel to do work and the guilt
that I feel being away from my kids is so
it like rips my heart open and to the point
(37:18):
where I try to condense everything as humanly possible. I mean,
I've taken the Red Eye to come here. I'm here
for thirty six hours maybe less, and then flying back.
But I feel like I've probably never really spoken about
the guilt that i feel about being away from my
kids when I'm doing any of my work stuff. And
I know parents have to work and you can't be
(37:39):
around your kids all the time, but that I yeah,
and being able to balance that with Lance's career and
my career as something that I've really kind of struggled with.
But it's something that I always feel really bad talking
about because I'm also very lucky to have the opportunity
to work in the places that I do and the
things that I do. But it's just, yeah, I think
(38:01):
that's probably something I've actually never said before. The guilt
that I feel when I go to work.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Well, that's very human. I mean I'm not a parent myself,
but I have a lot of friends who experience that,
and it is it is part of being a working person, right,
It's not and you don't have a nine to five,
So you do have these weird hours where you are
away for periods of time, and I imagine that does
sometimes get kind of heavy on the heart, right.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Yeah, it does get heavy on the heart. And then like,
for example, you know, always one of us will be
able to make it, but like being here today, Like
there's Robbie's animal project at school, for example, that they're presenting,
and like, I it eats me up inside that I'm
not there for that today, Like I've been for all
(38:44):
of his other shows this whole year, but it's like
like I'm missing one and I feel so awful about it,
and there's no way of being able to you know,
like what do you do in that situation because you
have to work? But then like yeah, so that eats
me up.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Do you ever have a day as a parent, as
a dad where it's just like the guilt is so
intense and you have so much going on that you
just break down and you're like this this is just
I'm done.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
I think lots of parents will do get to the
point where you're like oh my gosh and completely overwhelmed
and completely you know, in over your head and you're like,
oh my gosh, like, how how do I deal with
this situation? Because you know, there's where with a seven
year old and a two year old, like the seven
(39:35):
year old is very much doing his own thing now,
but the two year old is like, especially the second child,
he's feral. He likes to climb, run, jump, and do
all So there's always this kind of humming background stress
all the time to make sure that they're okay. And
it's yeah, there are times where you're like, oh my gosh, like,
how how am I ever going to be able to
(39:56):
do all of this stuff and be able to manage it?
And it does feel overwhelming and I think, you know,
parents always tried to put on a brave face and
be like, you know, it's we're good, it's this is
this is part of it, it's all part of it.
It's all good. But actually it's it's really hard. It's
beautiful and it's amazing and it's magical and it's so
much love there, but it's it's hard, and you think, yeah,
(40:18):
so some days I just want to kind of I
guess I want to say, like two other parents out
there that you know, I see you when you're in
the trenches for this like there's some difficult age ranges.
It's yeah, it's we're all going through it, and it's
a and I guess lots of the parents that have
older kids, but like, you'll get through it and you'll
(40:38):
wish you were back in this in this stage, so
you know, we'll see ask me in two years.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yeah, yeah, Well that's why I love the show and
I love that question because of answers like that, and
it just connects people and in a way that makes
you feel like, oh my god, I'm not going through
this alone and other people think like me, and I
just think that's really cool and we can collectively come
together and share those speriences that many of us go
through and we just don't always talk about. So thank
you for answering that, and thank you for hanging out.
(41:06):
I know you've done a lot of press throughout the
course of your career, and I'm sure you have a
very interesting relationship with press, you know, from your time
as a professional athlete and to today. So hopefully you
came in here feeling good.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yeah, it was fun accompany. It's all gone so quickly,
I know.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Well, I love your story, I love your documentary. So
for everybody listening. It's available exclusively on Olympics dot Com
in the US and Discovery Plus in the UK, So
everybody watch it right now. It is so fantastic, and
thank you for hanging out, and thank you for being
a pillar in the community that so many people can
look up to.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Well, thank you for having me. And now I have
to just stay awake because I'm hoping to go to
the theater this evening very nice.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Well, I hope you stay away. Thank you. I've never
said this before. It is hosted by Me Tommy Diderio.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Pivle at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Durant
(42:08):
podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio.
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