January 2, 2026 • 11 mins
On this episode of “Tommy Talk,” Tommy dives into his thoughts on New Year’s resolutions. January is often seen as a reset. It’s a time to reflect on what we want the next 365 days to look like. But do resolutions actually work, or do they just leave us feeling guilty when we don’t stick to them? We all want to keep bettering ourselves, but what are the most effective ways to do that without the pressure of perfection? Let’s dive in and kick off this wild 2026 journey together. Happy New Year!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk. And today's topic is
a hot button topic, and that topic is should we
be making New Year resolutions? Hmmm, okay, well, let's unpack
this a little bit. It is twenty twenty six. I
cannot believe I am saying that, Happy official New Year,
my friends. I am, first of all, so grateful you
(00:25):
all have been on this journey with me. I love
having you in this community, and I love being able
to share with you. And we have such a great
lineup ahead for this year, and I just want to
say I'm thankful for y'all. You guys bring me joy.
You bring me so much happiness. You lift my spirits.
I see your comments on these Tommy Talks, I see
you tuning in, and thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you. From the bottom of my heart. It means
(00:47):
the world. So I thought it would be fun to
kick off today's episode with talking about New year resolutions.
People are very divided, and with the new year comes
a lot of people getting those gym memberships activated, the
vision boards planned out and put on the wall. There's
a lot of hopes for the future, there's a lot
(01:08):
of goal setting, there's a lot of resolutions right the
New Year's resolution, that's what a lot of people do.
And people go hard. They go hard with feeling like
they're going to step into the next best version of themself,
whatever that means to them. But here's the problem. By February,
there's a lot of burnout. People experience an incredible amount
(01:29):
of burnout, and then they feel like crap if they
quote unquote failed at their resolution. And the pressure and
the anxiety and stress of not being able to follow
through with that said resolution for whatever the reason may be,
makes people feel pretty shitty right from the get go
at a new year, and that's not cool. So how
(01:51):
do you rectify all this? How do you set a
resolution to better yourself but not put the pressure on
yourself so that you feel awful if it doesn't happen
right at the start of a year. I mean, there's
a lot kind of to think about when you're doing this.
And then the question is do the resolutions really work
or in the long run do they end up making
you feel guilty? Like is it a good thing? Is
(02:12):
it a bad thing? What do we do with the
rise of self help and you know, gurus and manifesting
and all these people on social media. You feel the
pressure to always be putting some sort of resolution together.
But is that the answer for everybody? I don't know.
I don't know. Let's let's dive in a little bit.
So what I do in my personal view on a
(02:34):
resolution is that I don't necessarily think January one needs
to be a declarative resolution, whatever that thing is. I
don't think that you need to make this concrete, super hard,
mega statement resolution. Sometimes that's what we do. We make
(02:54):
this big, big declaration, and that's what we strive for
for the year, until maybe sometimes we see it slipping away,
and then that's when we feel bad. What I do
believe in, what I firmly, firmly believe in, is finding
ways to better ourselves through the course of the year.
If we work on ourselves all year instead of one month,
(03:18):
then that makes us feel like we are constantly evolving
and changing and working towards goals, goals that maybe change
over time, because I've had goals change. Maybe they stay
the same, but it's okay, you have permission. It's not
this like concrete thing. So I think that making sure
we allow ourselves to feel like we're moving towards little
(03:41):
things throughout the course of the year is way more
impactful and positive than one big goal for January. Right.
I also think that starting with one small habit in
January can change your entire year. So I like to
focus the resolution not necessarily on this huge, mega resolution,
but instead on habit. And what I mean by that is,
(04:03):
let's say you're falling into a pattern of negativity and
you kind of feel like you're always complaining or not
focusing on the blessings in life or what you have
that's great, and you're always falling into the spiral of
everything sucks. Maybe a good thing for January would be,
you know what, I'm gonna work this year on creating
(04:24):
a more positive mindset. It feels attainable, feels doable. Right,
That's something very practical. How do you do that? You
stop yourself when you're complaining a lot, when you're falling
into a negative spiral. You flip the script and talk
about things you're grateful for. You focus that time and
energy on your friends instead of always looking inward at
yourself about what you don't like. Like, there's all practical
ways to do that. Whatever those things are to you,
(04:46):
you would figure out but those are just some examples.
But it feels like that's something you can really work
on that doesn't totally set you up for failure instead
of a resolution like Okay, by March, I'm going to
make partner at my company, or you know, by April,
I'm gonna lose sixty pounds, you know, And it's like
putting these really declarative things out there can set you
(05:09):
up for disappointment if it doesn't go according to plan. Now,
I do believe in goals. I absolutely believe in goals,
but that's what I alluded to earlier. I believe in
goals all year long. So I think being realistic about
the things that you can and can't achieve based on
a timeline is really important. It's hard to put timeline,
you know, matched with a goal because you don't know
(05:32):
when things are gonna happen, they're gonna unfold in your life,
how they're gonna ufold in your life. We can't control that.
We literally cannot control that. So I think working on
yourself is a better thing for the new year rather
than setting concrete goals. And some examples of that, As
I said, maybe figuring out how to be more positive
in life. Maybe it's making more time for friends and family.
(05:54):
Maybe it's being more collaborative with people at work, Like,
these are all things that are doable, and I want
people to strive for great things. Of course I do.
But let's do that all the time. Let's do that
all the time. The downsides of resolutions, of course, are
you know, there's unrealistic pressure, there's perfectionism, there's guilt to
(06:17):
there's burnout. We don't need a new calendar to start again, right,
We don't need a new calendar year. We can start
again anytime we want so. To me, that's where it
can sometimes get a little toxic with the messaging of
new year, new me. It's like, well, I mean, I
don't know if I need a completely new me in
(06:37):
the new year. I like me. I want to improve me.
I want to improve me all the time and better
myself because I don't want to be the same person
I am today that I was yesterday. So that's true.
But new me, I mean, why am I erasing who
I am? I don't think we need to completely erase
the person that we are. Unless you're like some sort
of crazy, mass murder or evil person, then okay, fine,
but I'm pretty sure I'm not talking to those people
(06:58):
right now. So you know, we don't need to totally erase
who we are as a human being. So the new
Year knew Me message is something that really triggers me
because I think you're fucking fabulous and great as you are,
and yeah, we all can improve, but don't erase who
you are. That to me is ooh, really triggering as
a message. So that's something that I think can be
a problem with with these resolutions. Here are some things
(07:20):
I like to do when a new year comes, let's
put it. Put it this way, I think by now
you know I'm not the biggest resolution person. I'm more
goal oriented throughout the course of a year or working
on myself throughout the course of a year and setting
goals and you know, things I want to achieve throughout
the course of the year. But I'm not necessarily the
biggest resolution person. And I talk about manifesting in another
(07:41):
time we talk. If you go back and search, you'll
hear my thoughts on manifesting as well. That's a whole conversation.
But here are things that I think are really helpful
to do when a new year begins that feels a
little less intense. Okay. I think you can choose a
word for the year and that or could be maybe
something you want to work on. So maybe it's kindness,
(08:03):
maybe it's positivity, maybe it's self love or self care.
If you have a word that you can kind of
keep in the back of your mind and know that
that's something that you're going to constantly strive for, I
think that's cool. It's like your own personal little cheerleading
squad with the word, and it's yours, and you own
it and you love it and you stand by it,
and you'll have it for the year. So it's not
(08:23):
necessarily one big grand gesture of a resolution, but it's
a word that's yours and that will keep you in
the zone and reminding yourself of how you want to
be as a human. I think that's a really lovely thing.
I really do. I think that setting intentions instead of goals,
like we talked about, is really important. And I also
think that you should be focusing on progress and not perfection.
(08:48):
I'm going to say that again because that's a really
important one. Focus on progress and not perfection. Even if
you don't achieve the said goal, what do you do
that was great to help you get there, or maybe
it's something else unrelated to that, because life throws you
curveballs and we all pivot, and I certainly have ended
up in places I never expected to be that were
(09:10):
never on my bingo card. But you know what, I'm
so damn happy I'm there. So focusing on the progress
you've made is so incredibly important for many reasons. And
I think that allows ourselves to feel like, you know what,
I am doing it. I am a badass, i am
a champ, and I'm doing it in my own way.
So that's something that I think is really really helpful.
And I think that not aiming for a new you,
(09:32):
but aiming for a slightly better rhythm is a really
really crucial thing to remember. And that's again that progress
versus perfection. But knowing that you're in a better pattern,
you're in a better rhythm, it's going to help you
achieve what you want to achieve, and it's going to
help your mind be clearer to achieve those things. So
(09:53):
I'm all about bettering ourselves, but I don't think we
should put radical pressure on ourselves to make that happen.
Let's focus on being good human beings. Let's focus on
ways that we can keep giving back to the world
and to others. Let's focus on doing work that makes
us happy and that fuels our souls. Let's work on
(10:14):
what the definition of success means to each and every
one of us. Success to me is waking up every
day and being proud of the work that I do
and being proud of the person that I am. Let's
focus on those things to keep us being our best
versions of ourselves rather than one mega resolution that will
either make us feel like a winner or a loser,
because none of us need that. So Happy New Year,
(10:37):
my friends. I am so excited to be kicking off
twenty twenty six with each and every one of you.
You mean the world to me. I am cheering you on,
I am rooting you on. I want you to have
things in your mind that you hope to achieve, but
give yourself grace. Give yourself grace, work on progress, not perfection,
work on many things, not one thing. And I hope
that you are stepping into this year feeling like the
(10:59):
king and the queens that you are. I've never said
this before. Is hosted by me Tommy Dedario. This podcast
is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and by
me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never Said
This Before is part of the Elvis Duran podcast Network
(11:22):
on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate, review and subscribe to
our show and if you liked this episode, tell your friends.
Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario
Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk. And today's topic is
a hot button topic, and that topic is should we
be making New Year resolutions? Hmmm, okay, well, let's unpack
this a little bit. It is twenty twenty six. I
cannot believe I am saying that, Happy official New Year,
my friends. I am, first of all, so grateful you
(00:25):
all have been on this journey with me. I love
having you in this community, and I love being able
to share with you. And we have such a great
lineup ahead for this year, and I just want to
say I'm thankful for y'all. You guys bring me joy.
You bring me so much happiness. You lift my spirits.
I see your comments on these Tommy Talks, I see
you tuning in, and thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you. From the bottom of my heart. It means
(00:47):
the world. So I thought it would be fun to
kick off today's episode with talking about New year resolutions.
People are very divided, and with the new year comes
a lot of people getting those gym memberships activated, the
vision boards planned out and put on the wall. There's
a lot of hopes for the future, there's a lot
(01:08):
of goal setting, there's a lot of resolutions right the
New Year's resolution, that's what a lot of people do.
And people go hard. They go hard with feeling like
they're going to step into the next best version of themself,
whatever that means to them. But here's the problem. By February,
there's a lot of burnout. People experience an incredible amount
(01:29):
of burnout, and then they feel like crap if they
quote unquote failed at their resolution. And the pressure and
the anxiety and stress of not being able to follow
through with that said resolution for whatever the reason may be,
makes people feel pretty shitty right from the get go
at a new year, and that's not cool. So how
(01:51):
do you rectify all this? How do you set a
resolution to better yourself but not put the pressure on
yourself so that you feel awful if it doesn't happen
right at the start of a year. I mean, there's
a lot kind of to think about when you're doing this.
And then the question is do the resolutions really work
or in the long run do they end up making
you feel guilty? Like is it a good thing? Is
(02:12):
it a bad thing? What do we do with the
rise of self help and you know, gurus and manifesting
and all these people on social media. You feel the
pressure to always be putting some sort of resolution together.
But is that the answer for everybody? I don't know.
I don't know. Let's let's dive in a little bit.
So what I do in my personal view on a
(02:34):
resolution is that I don't necessarily think January one needs
to be a declarative resolution, whatever that thing is. I
don't think that you need to make this concrete, super hard,
mega statement resolution. Sometimes that's what we do. We make
(02:54):
this big, big declaration, and that's what we strive for
for the year, until maybe sometimes we see it slipping away,
and then that's when we feel bad. What I do
believe in, what I firmly, firmly believe in, is finding
ways to better ourselves through the course of the year.
If we work on ourselves all year instead of one month,
(03:18):
then that makes us feel like we are constantly evolving
and changing and working towards goals, goals that maybe change
over time, because I've had goals change. Maybe they stay
the same, but it's okay, you have permission. It's not
this like concrete thing. So I think that making sure
we allow ourselves to feel like we're moving towards little
(03:41):
things throughout the course of the year is way more
impactful and positive than one big goal for January. Right.
I also think that starting with one small habit in
January can change your entire year. So I like to
focus the resolution not necessarily on this huge, mega resolution,
but instead on habit. And what I mean by that is,
(04:03):
let's say you're falling into a pattern of negativity and
you kind of feel like you're always complaining or not
focusing on the blessings in life or what you have
that's great, and you're always falling into the spiral of
everything sucks. Maybe a good thing for January would be,
you know what, I'm gonna work this year on creating
(04:24):
a more positive mindset. It feels attainable, feels doable. Right,
That's something very practical. How do you do that? You
stop yourself when you're complaining a lot, when you're falling
into a negative spiral. You flip the script and talk
about things you're grateful for. You focus that time and
energy on your friends instead of always looking inward at
yourself about what you don't like. Like, there's all practical
ways to do that. Whatever those things are to you,
(04:46):
you would figure out but those are just some examples.
But it feels like that's something you can really work
on that doesn't totally set you up for failure instead
of a resolution like Okay, by March, I'm going to
make partner at my company, or you know, by April,
I'm gonna lose sixty pounds, you know, And it's like
putting these really declarative things out there can set you
(05:09):
up for disappointment if it doesn't go according to plan. Now,
I do believe in goals. I absolutely believe in goals,
but that's what I alluded to earlier. I believe in
goals all year long. So I think being realistic about
the things that you can and can't achieve based on
a timeline is really important. It's hard to put timeline,
you know, matched with a goal because you don't know
(05:32):
when things are gonna happen, they're gonna unfold in your life,
how they're gonna ufold in your life. We can't control that.
We literally cannot control that. So I think working on
yourself is a better thing for the new year rather
than setting concrete goals. And some examples of that, As
I said, maybe figuring out how to be more positive
in life. Maybe it's making more time for friends and family.
(05:54):
Maybe it's being more collaborative with people at work, Like,
these are all things that are doable, and I want
people to strive for great things. Of course I do.
But let's do that all the time. Let's do that
all the time. The downsides of resolutions, of course, are
you know, there's unrealistic pressure, there's perfectionism, there's guilt to
(06:17):
there's burnout. We don't need a new calendar to start again, right,
We don't need a new calendar year. We can start
again anytime we want so. To me, that's where it
can sometimes get a little toxic with the messaging of
new year, new me. It's like, well, I mean, I
don't know if I need a completely new me in
(06:37):
the new year. I like me. I want to improve me.
I want to improve me all the time and better
myself because I don't want to be the same person
I am today that I was yesterday. So that's true.
But new me, I mean, why am I erasing who
I am? I don't think we need to completely erase
the person that we are. Unless you're like some sort
of crazy, mass murder or evil person, then okay, fine,
but I'm pretty sure I'm not talking to those people
(06:58):
right now. So you know, we don't need to totally erase
who we are as a human being. So the new
Year knew Me message is something that really triggers me
because I think you're fucking fabulous and great as you are,
and yeah, we all can improve, but don't erase who
you are. That to me is ooh, really triggering as
a message. So that's something that I think can be
a problem with with these resolutions. Here are some things
(07:20):
I like to do when a new year comes, let's
put it. Put it this way, I think by now
you know I'm not the biggest resolution person. I'm more
goal oriented throughout the course of a year or working
on myself throughout the course of a year and setting
goals and you know, things I want to achieve throughout
the course of the year. But I'm not necessarily the
biggest resolution person. And I talk about manifesting in another
(07:41):
time we talk. If you go back and search, you'll
hear my thoughts on manifesting as well. That's a whole conversation.
But here are things that I think are really helpful
to do when a new year begins that feels a
little less intense. Okay. I think you can choose a
word for the year and that or could be maybe
something you want to work on. So maybe it's kindness,
(08:03):
maybe it's positivity, maybe it's self love or self care.
If you have a word that you can kind of
keep in the back of your mind and know that
that's something that you're going to constantly strive for, I
think that's cool. It's like your own personal little cheerleading
squad with the word, and it's yours, and you own
it and you love it and you stand by it,
and you'll have it for the year. So it's not
(08:23):
necessarily one big grand gesture of a resolution, but it's
a word that's yours and that will keep you in
the zone and reminding yourself of how you want to
be as a human. I think that's a really lovely thing.
I really do. I think that setting intentions instead of goals,
like we talked about, is really important. And I also
think that you should be focusing on progress and not perfection.
(08:48):
I'm going to say that again because that's a really
important one. Focus on progress and not perfection. Even if
you don't achieve the said goal, what do you do
that was great to help you get there, or maybe
it's something else unrelated to that, because life throws you
curveballs and we all pivot, and I certainly have ended
up in places I never expected to be that were
(09:10):
never on my bingo card. But you know what, I'm
so damn happy I'm there. So focusing on the progress
you've made is so incredibly important for many reasons. And
I think that allows ourselves to feel like, you know what,
I am doing it. I am a badass, i am
a champ, and I'm doing it in my own way.
So that's something that I think is really really helpful.
And I think that not aiming for a new you,
(09:32):
but aiming for a slightly better rhythm is a really
really crucial thing to remember. And that's again that progress
versus perfection. But knowing that you're in a better pattern,
you're in a better rhythm, it's going to help you
achieve what you want to achieve, and it's going to
help your mind be clearer to achieve those things. So
(09:53):
I'm all about bettering ourselves, but I don't think we
should put radical pressure on ourselves to make that happen.
Let's focus on being good human beings. Let's focus on
ways that we can keep giving back to the world
and to others. Let's focus on doing work that makes
us happy and that fuels our souls. Let's work on
(10:14):
what the definition of success means to each and every
one of us. Success to me is waking up every
day and being proud of the work that I do
and being proud of the person that I am. Let's
focus on those things to keep us being our best
versions of ourselves rather than one mega resolution that will
either make us feel like a winner or a loser,
because none of us need that. So Happy New Year,
(10:37):
my friends. I am so excited to be kicking off
twenty twenty six with each and every one of you.
You mean the world to me. I am cheering you on,
I am rooting you on. I want you to have
things in your mind that you hope to achieve, but
give yourself grace. Give yourself grace, work on progress, not perfection,
work on many things, not one thing. And I hope
that you are stepping into this year feeling like the
(10:59):
king and the queens that you are. I've never said
this before. Is hosted by me Tommy Dedario. This podcast
is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and by
me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never Said
This Before is part of the Elvis Duran podcast Network
(11:22):
on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate, review and subscribe to
our show and if you liked this episode, tell your friends.
Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario
Elvis Duran and the Morning Show ON DEMAND News
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