September 5, 2025 • 11 mins
On this episode of “Tommy Talk,” Tommy discusses when it’s time to unfollow or mute someone on Instagram. Your Instagram feed is your personal space, and you should see content that makes you feel good from people that make you feel good. But there are definitely a few things to consider when going for that “mute" or “unfollow" button. Let’s dive in.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey guys, welcome to Tommy Talk, a new weekly series
that is part of my I've Never Said This Before
podcast where I am talking about things and I've never
really publicly talked about before. And today's topic is should
you unfollow someone or just mute them? On Instagram? Let
me say that again, because this is a big one.
(00:22):
Should you unfollow someone or just mute somebody on Instagram?
I feel like the unfollow and the mute are two
of the modern day disses of the year. Like, it
is so triggering to somebody if they realize they've gotten
(00:42):
an unfollow, to the point where it can come up
in like a fight with a friend or a fight
with somebody else, or you might get a random rogue
DM saying why did you unfollow me? Like it is
considered so highly insulting for some reason. And the mute
is also kind of becoming now new unfollow in terms
of the level of how insulting that can be. I
(01:03):
assume everybody knows what this means. Who's listening, But if
you don't. On Instagram, when you're following somebody and you
consciously choose to unfollow them so they no longer are
shown in your feeds and you don't see their stuff.
That's the unfollow And the mute is when you go
to somebody's profile and mute all of their posts or
story so that you are following them, but you don't
have to see their stuff anymore. And these two things, man, man,
(01:26):
are they triggering? Like I know people who've gotten a
massive blowout fights over this who aren't friends anymore because
of this.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
It is super, super.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Super intense to be on the receiving end for some
people of an unfollow or a mute. My theory is,
if you unfollow me whatever, I'm gonna unfollow you, like
it's not a big deal.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Maybe like we met a long time ago, you don't
want to see my content.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
It's all good, and it's fine. I don't need to
follow you.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Sometimes I wait for that to happen and then I
can unfollow somebody because I always feel bad being the
one to do that.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
But you know, should you unfollow our mute?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
This is a very interesting topic because it does cause
a lot of drama for people in their lives. And
I have a few rules when it comes to this
to hopefully give you as peaceful as as peaceful of
a social media life as possible.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So let's start with the unfollow.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I highly recommend unfollowing someone only only only if their
content is truly not aligning with who you are as
a human, as a brand, as an ally to a
community you champion. Like if somebody is posting stuff that
is just so out of sync with who you are,
(02:40):
or you notice somebody is turning into that person who
never was that person before, fair game to unfollow, Like
fair game. You know they don't align with you, goodbye.
You don't need that toxic, weird energy in your life,
like it's totally good. Or is there a celebrity that
just constantly makes you feel not great about yourself because
they're posting the naked all the time, or you know,
(03:03):
lavish luxurious lifestyles, which, by the way, rock on post
yourself naked, post your luxurious lifestyle. But if it's it's
triggering something in you, it's okay, unfollow them, like that's
all fair game. I don't see a problem with that.
But I wouldn't necessarily unfollow somebody that is constantly going
to be in your orbit or in your world, because
(03:24):
that could make for a really awkward exchange because people
notice somehow they keep track of all of this and
people get really really offended, and that's where the mute
comes in. So the mute is really great. Like I
will admit I have muted some people that I'm not
super close to anymore. But I don't want to be
dramatic and do an unfollow because that just feels a
(03:44):
little harsh. So I mute them so I don't have
to see their content.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
And it's great. It just is great.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
The mute button's amazing because it allows you to really
curate who you want to see on your social media
pages and who you don't want to see, which is
more important, I think. But I like the mute because
if it's a Collie or somebody in your work world,
for example, you might not want to see all their stuff,
but for some reason, your friends are connected on Instagram
and you're you have that connection already. You don't want
(04:10):
to unfollow them because you're going to see them a
lot and they're in your work world, So just mute
them if you don't want to see their stuff. It's okay,
totally okay to do that. I also think that if
it's a former friend you no longer really have much
of a relationship with. You can either do the mute
(04:30):
because maybe you're on civil terms, but you're just not
as close as you used to being. You don't want
to be like the dramatic crazy one that did the unfollow,
So a mute is great. But if it's someone who
really like crashed and burned your relationship and you're not
going to see them again and you feel totally confident
about that, then an unfollow it is okay in that
regard to But know that once you do the unfollow,
that is something considered to so many people as the
(04:52):
final the final straw in breaking the camel's back and
ending a relationship. Like you cannot come back from an
unfollow very easily. You just can't because people get that
twisted and bent out of shape about it. They see
it as so offensive. So just know if that is
a very powerful thing, and if it's noticed by the
other party, that it could cause a lot of drama
(05:14):
and sever a relationship entirely. Which is so crazy to
think that like social media things like that can actually.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Do that, but it's true, It really is true.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Because you were sending the message to somebody, I don't
want you in my life. I don't want you in
my orbit. I don't want to see what you're doing,
and I don't care what you're doing. That is when
an unfollow sends. So it sounds a little harsh, but
it sounds a very very powerful message. Now I feel
like the mute button is slowly becoming as offensive to
people as the unfollow, And I feel like the mute
(05:45):
button's becoming a little bit more of a trigger because
it's as if you're lying to somebody you're It's as
if you're saying, I, oh, yeah, I follow you, I
like your stuff, but you really don't, and you really
don't want to see what they're doing, and you don't
want to engage with their content, and you don't want
to like it and comment and you know, cheer for
them from the sidelines. Like it's it's basically saying, I'm
(06:06):
gonna sneakily make you think that I care about what
you're doing on social media, but I really don't, so
I'm just gonna mute you so you think I care.
And I think that's why people are getting really triggered
and offended by the mute. I'm starting to have this
mentality of if you're somebody I want to mute, Then
why do I even follow you? Like why play games?
Why not just have an honest kind of social media
(06:29):
relationship with people and be like, look, I don't want
to see your stuff, so maybe I shouldn't follow you that.
But the truth is that comes across so harsh to
so many people. So unfortunately you can't do that. I'm
just saying that's how I would react if people didn't
react in a certain way. I don't get offended if
somebody wants to mute me, it's fine. Like, maybe there's
(06:50):
a reason you follow people on social media, right, Like
maybe you are struggling so hard to find a partner
and it's hard and you just want the love, And
maybe you don't want to see somebody with their partner
all the time because you're at a point in your
life where it's hard and triggering for you to see that.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I understand that, Like, that's that's it's not easy trying
to find the one you want to be with. Like, So,
by all means, if seeing my relationship or glimpses into
that or somebody else's is a trigger for you, I'm
not offended by a mute or unfollowed, Like people have
to do what they have to do. I think the
bottom line for me with social media is I genuinely
want to be connected to people on my personal social
(07:31):
media accounts who A I'm either really friends with or
family with, like genuine relationships. B They are in my
work world and I see them and interact with them
enough in my work worlds to stay connected and keep
each other, you know, in updated into what we're doing
or see it's somebody I met along the way who
(07:54):
made a lasting impression who I want to stay in
touch with, Like we were just in Saint Bart's and
the captain of this beautiful sunset cruise we went on
on our final night was just a total Jen and
I loved her, and I'm like, oh my god, I
want to stay in touch with you and see your
amazing travels throughout the year. And we probably won't see
each other for maybe like four or five years if
we come back or if she's in New York, but
(08:15):
I just want to stay in touch because you made
such an impact on my life. Like those are the
vibes of the people that I genuinely want to follow.
If you're not bringing me joy, or you know somebody
I deal with regularly, or somebody in my work world's
what's the point? What's the point? But should you unfollow
someone or should you mute them? On Instagram? Here's How'm
(08:36):
going to break it down in a really simple way.
Unfollow them. If it's toxic, if it affects your mood,
if it's someone you really have nothing to do with,
and if it's someone who doesn't align with your core values,
mute them. If they are going to be in your
orbital or in your worlds, put them on mute so
that you don't seem dramatic with an unfollowed Because guess what,
here's the good news. No one can ever prove that
(08:57):
you muted them. You could just be someone not active
engaging with their content. You can never prove it. You
can never prove it. So if all else fails, use
that mute button. And even if you're suspicious someone muted you,
you don't know for sure. So the mute is the win.
So go for the mute. If there're someone in your
orbit and you don't want the drama to be following
you going forward. Isn't it funny how social media can
(09:21):
be so impactful on how you view someone and how
somebody makes you feel.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Isn't that funny?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Like, isn't whoever thought that an unfollow or a mute
on social media could cause someone to totally spiral and
be in a worse mood than they were prior to
logging into social media. It's just hysterical. I guess I'm
gonna end this with like, it's not that serious. So
at the end of the day, while we can all
kind of get caught up in it, it's just social media.
(09:49):
It's just a mute or an unfollow.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Who cares? Like, at the end of the day, who cares?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
You know your people, you know your core, You know
the people that really matter to you and that you
call or text or have a relationship with. Who gives
a shit if somebody doesn't want to follow you or
look at your content?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
It's okay, It's all good. It's not that deep.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Maybe the baseline of this conversation isn't should you mute
them or should you unfollow them? While it is important
because it's the world we live in, but maybe it's
should we care as much?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Should we care? And I think the answer to that
is no, who cares?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Who cares. You know the people who are your rider dies.
You know who you want in your life, you know
who you don't want in your life. It's just an app.
It is just an app. Let's not take it so seriously.
Let's not be all bent out of shape or offended.
I firmly believe that we have become deconditioned in our
lives to feel real emotions sometimes because of things like Instagram.
(10:42):
And while I love it, it's just an app. So
the next time you want to unfollow or mute someone,
power to you. But if it happens to you, let's
not get all upset about it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
It's all good. It's all good.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
And then go call your real friends and go have
cocktails and dinner and go run around time and have
the best time ever because Instagram is Instagram.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Am.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy
de Dario. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piblisi
at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney.
I've Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis
Duran podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review
and subscribe to our show and If you liked this episode,
(11:25):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario
Hey guys, welcome to Tommy Talk, a new weekly series
that is part of my I've Never Said This Before
podcast where I am talking about things and I've never
really publicly talked about before. And today's topic is should
you unfollow someone or just mute them? On Instagram? Let
me say that again, because this is a big one.
(00:22):
Should you unfollow someone or just mute somebody on Instagram?
I feel like the unfollow and the mute are two
of the modern day disses of the year. Like, it
is so triggering to somebody if they realize they've gotten
(00:42):
an unfollow, to the point where it can come up
in like a fight with a friend or a fight
with somebody else, or you might get a random rogue
DM saying why did you unfollow me? Like it is
considered so highly insulting for some reason. And the mute
is also kind of becoming now new unfollow in terms
of the level of how insulting that can be. I
(01:03):
assume everybody knows what this means. Who's listening, But if
you don't. On Instagram, when you're following somebody and you
consciously choose to unfollow them so they no longer are
shown in your feeds and you don't see their stuff.
That's the unfollow And the mute is when you go
to somebody's profile and mute all of their posts or
story so that you are following them, but you don't
have to see their stuff anymore. And these two things, man, man,
(01:26):
are they triggering? Like I know people who've gotten a
massive blowout fights over this who aren't friends anymore because
of this.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
It is super, super.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Super intense to be on the receiving end for some
people of an unfollow or a mute. My theory is,
if you unfollow me whatever, I'm gonna unfollow you, like
it's not a big deal.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Maybe like we met a long time ago, you don't
want to see my content.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
It's all good, and it's fine. I don't need to
follow you.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Sometimes I wait for that to happen and then I
can unfollow somebody because I always feel bad being the
one to do that.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
But you know, should you unfollow our mute?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
This is a very interesting topic because it does cause
a lot of drama for people in their lives. And
I have a few rules when it comes to this
to hopefully give you as peaceful as as peaceful of
a social media life as possible.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So let's start with the unfollow.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I highly recommend unfollowing someone only only only if their
content is truly not aligning with who you are as
a human, as a brand, as an ally to a
community you champion. Like if somebody is posting stuff that
is just so out of sync with who you are,
(02:40):
or you notice somebody is turning into that person who
never was that person before, fair game to unfollow, Like
fair game. You know they don't align with you, goodbye.
You don't need that toxic, weird energy in your life,
like it's totally good. Or is there a celebrity that
just constantly makes you feel not great about yourself because
they're posting the naked all the time, or you know,
(03:03):
lavish luxurious lifestyles, which, by the way, rock on post
yourself naked, post your luxurious lifestyle. But if it's it's
triggering something in you, it's okay, unfollow them, like that's
all fair game. I don't see a problem with that.
But I wouldn't necessarily unfollow somebody that is constantly going
to be in your orbit or in your world, because
(03:24):
that could make for a really awkward exchange because people
notice somehow they keep track of all of this and
people get really really offended, and that's where the mute
comes in. So the mute is really great. Like I
will admit I have muted some people that I'm not
super close to anymore. But I don't want to be
dramatic and do an unfollow because that just feels a
(03:44):
little harsh. So I mute them so I don't have
to see their content.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
And it's great. It just is great.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
The mute button's amazing because it allows you to really
curate who you want to see on your social media
pages and who you don't want to see, which is
more important, I think. But I like the mute because
if it's a Collie or somebody in your work world,
for example, you might not want to see all their stuff,
but for some reason, your friends are connected on Instagram
and you're you have that connection already. You don't want
(04:10):
to unfollow them because you're going to see them a
lot and they're in your work world, So just mute
them if you don't want to see their stuff. It's okay,
totally okay to do that. I also think that if
it's a former friend you no longer really have much
of a relationship with. You can either do the mute
(04:30):
because maybe you're on civil terms, but you're just not
as close as you used to being. You don't want
to be like the dramatic crazy one that did the unfollow,
So a mute is great. But if it's someone who
really like crashed and burned your relationship and you're not
going to see them again and you feel totally confident
about that, then an unfollow it is okay in that
regard to But know that once you do the unfollow,
that is something considered to so many people as the
(04:52):
final the final straw in breaking the camel's back and
ending a relationship. Like you cannot come back from an
unfollow very easily. You just can't because people get that
twisted and bent out of shape about it. They see
it as so offensive. So just know if that is
a very powerful thing, and if it's noticed by the
other party, that it could cause a lot of drama
(05:14):
and sever a relationship entirely. Which is so crazy to
think that like social media things like that can actually.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Do that, but it's true, It really is true.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Because you were sending the message to somebody, I don't
want you in my life. I don't want you in
my orbit. I don't want to see what you're doing,
and I don't care what you're doing. That is when
an unfollow sends. So it sounds a little harsh, but
it sounds a very very powerful message. Now I feel
like the mute button is slowly becoming as offensive to
people as the unfollow, And I feel like the mute
(05:45):
button's becoming a little bit more of a trigger because
it's as if you're lying to somebody you're It's as
if you're saying, I, oh, yeah, I follow you, I
like your stuff, but you really don't, and you really
don't want to see what they're doing, and you don't
want to engage with their content, and you don't want
to like it and comment and you know, cheer for
them from the sidelines. Like it's it's basically saying, I'm
(06:06):
gonna sneakily make you think that I care about what
you're doing on social media, but I really don't, so
I'm just gonna mute you so you think I care.
And I think that's why people are getting really triggered
and offended by the mute. I'm starting to have this
mentality of if you're somebody I want to mute, Then
why do I even follow you? Like why play games?
Why not just have an honest kind of social media
(06:29):
relationship with people and be like, look, I don't want
to see your stuff, so maybe I shouldn't follow you that.
But the truth is that comes across so harsh to
so many people. So unfortunately you can't do that. I'm
just saying that's how I would react if people didn't
react in a certain way. I don't get offended if
somebody wants to mute me, it's fine. Like, maybe there's
(06:50):
a reason you follow people on social media, right, Like
maybe you are struggling so hard to find a partner
and it's hard and you just want the love, And
maybe you don't want to see somebody with their partner
all the time because you're at a point in your
life where it's hard and triggering for you to see that.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I understand that, Like, that's that's it's not easy trying
to find the one you want to be with. Like, So,
by all means, if seeing my relationship or glimpses into
that or somebody else's is a trigger for you, I'm
not offended by a mute or unfollowed, Like people have
to do what they have to do. I think the
bottom line for me with social media is I genuinely
want to be connected to people on my personal social
(07:31):
media accounts who A I'm either really friends with or
family with, like genuine relationships. B They are in my
work world and I see them and interact with them
enough in my work worlds to stay connected and keep
each other, you know, in updated into what we're doing
or see it's somebody I met along the way who
(07:54):
made a lasting impression who I want to stay in
touch with, Like we were just in Saint Bart's and
the captain of this beautiful sunset cruise we went on
on our final night was just a total Jen and
I loved her, and I'm like, oh my god, I
want to stay in touch with you and see your
amazing travels throughout the year. And we probably won't see
each other for maybe like four or five years if
we come back or if she's in New York, but
(08:15):
I just want to stay in touch because you made
such an impact on my life. Like those are the
vibes of the people that I genuinely want to follow.
If you're not bringing me joy, or you know somebody
I deal with regularly, or somebody in my work world's
what's the point? What's the point? But should you unfollow
someone or should you mute them? On Instagram? Here's How'm
(08:36):
going to break it down in a really simple way.
Unfollow them. If it's toxic, if it affects your mood,
if it's someone you really have nothing to do with,
and if it's someone who doesn't align with your core values,
mute them. If they are going to be in your
orbital or in your worlds, put them on mute so
that you don't seem dramatic with an unfollowed Because guess what,
here's the good news. No one can ever prove that
(08:57):
you muted them. You could just be someone not active
engaging with their content. You can never prove it. You
can never prove it. So if all else fails, use
that mute button. And even if you're suspicious someone muted you,
you don't know for sure. So the mute is the win.
So go for the mute. If there're someone in your
orbit and you don't want the drama to be following
you going forward. Isn't it funny how social media can
(09:21):
be so impactful on how you view someone and how
somebody makes you feel.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Isn't that funny?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Like, isn't whoever thought that an unfollow or a mute
on social media could cause someone to totally spiral and
be in a worse mood than they were prior to
logging into social media. It's just hysterical. I guess I'm
gonna end this with like, it's not that serious. So
at the end of the day, while we can all
kind of get caught up in it, it's just social media.
(09:49):
It's just a mute or an unfollow.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Who cares? Like, at the end of the day, who cares?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
You know your people, you know your core, You know
the people that really matter to you and that you
call or text or have a relationship with. Who gives
a shit if somebody doesn't want to follow you or
look at your content?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
It's okay, It's all good. It's not that deep.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Maybe the baseline of this conversation isn't should you mute
them or should you unfollow them? While it is important
because it's the world we live in, but maybe it's
should we care as much?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Should we care? And I think the answer to that
is no, who cares?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Who cares. You know the people who are your rider dies.
You know who you want in your life, you know
who you don't want in your life. It's just an app.
It is just an app. Let's not take it so seriously.
Let's not be all bent out of shape or offended.
I firmly believe that we have become deconditioned in our
lives to feel real emotions sometimes because of things like Instagram.
(10:42):
And while I love it, it's just an app. So
the next time you want to unfollow or mute someone,
power to you. But if it happens to you, let's
not get all upset about it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
It's all good. It's all good.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
And then go call your real friends and go have
cocktails and dinner and go run around time and have
the best time ever because Instagram is Instagram.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Am.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy
de Dario. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piblisi
at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney.
I've Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis
Duran podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review
and subscribe to our show and If you liked this episode,
(11:25):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario
Elvis Duran and the Morning Show ON DEMAND News
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