What Day is It

Nate was on the struggle buss. What is acceptable when you gamble on a fart?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
firm Hi Elvis Presents fifteen Minute Morning Show. Hi everybody, Hello?

(00:24):
Do I sound hungover? Now you do? Oh my god?
You were drunk when you got here, but now you're
started in the hangover process. I think now, I don't
think I was drunk anymore. I think I was just
very tired and hungover and I fell and yeah, Cavalcado.
I learned that if you wake up during the wrong

(00:46):
part of your sleep cycle, it's like you get hit
with a ton of bricks. Like you, So you're supposed
to wake up at a certain point of your sleep
cycle where it's like you feeling I'm sleep splaining. I am,
but it's a truth. Yeah. So did you get hit
with a ton of bricks? Did you know? Yeah? Well
I didn't. I somehow managed to leave a wake up?

(01:07):
Do you guys still leave wake up calls at the
front desk when you stay in a hotel when they call,
who the fun is calling me? Right now? How dare you? Oh?
You forgot you left it? Yeah? I don't want it.
Don't don't call me. It's kind of like the phone
rang and I'm like, what the fuck is had no
clue what was I didn't didn't know where I was
because I was drunk and in a strange place. Like,

(01:28):
what the is the phone ring? I don't own a phone. Yeah,
and then I pick it up and it's the robotic voice.
This is the wake up call. You just go. I'm like, oh, funk,
I gotta werson Yeah, not even a person. I'm like, fun. Anyway,
who's got something to talk about? I mean, I don't
think we're allowed to talk about what we all wanted? Okay,
well what if we don't call it? That is anyone

(01:49):
else's zoom room? Completely frozen? Just your just yours? This
is yours. I think that's a restart there. Oh and
I froze in a terrible way. Took a street shot,
draw things on our face, yes, put a capturing a
balloon of what she's saying. So anyway, the what I
will sum up what we wanted to talk about with
is don't gamble on a fart after you've been drinking

(02:12):
all night. Right, it's as clean as we could put it.
That's kind of where it started. But then it turned
to how many times a year? That actually is kind
of interesting. Okay, okay, Gandy post the question, Danielle, how
many times a year as an adult, is it permissible
to ship your pace less than one? Okay? I have

(02:37):
I have these two friends shout out to carry Taylor,
and we were having this conversation and I said, I
kind of thought as an adult, the amount of times
it was acceptable to do that is potentially once a decade.
They said, no, three times a year. No, thank you.
I understand if you have a a cool condition, yeah,

(03:00):
like a stomach flu or a couple of other things,
you know, or if you eat go to a restaurant
and you eat something and it's like food poisoning or
something doesn't agree with you, it can happen. It happens
three times a years a lot. I think that's a
lot of times. They swore that it is absolutely acceptable
three times a years. Okay. And I'm telling you because

(03:23):
them these who are like hot chicks, super hot, just
out there crap of themselves, they're the least likely to
crap in my mind, they're not down, super hot chick herself. Okay,
we can't talk about this topic. That's her hotness. Decline
does not alright, everybody stop, does not go down. Of course,

(03:50):
that does you're in you're in a swimming pool with
a hot girl. Can not when we're out. We always
talked about it, and then we're like, don't cross the line.
We're just gonna be we're done. I'll tell you this.
We can't be done with the podcast because I don't
know if anybody saw it. I know Scotty Bee responded yesterday,

(04:13):
there is somebody who's listening to the podcast. His name
is Justin. Here's a spreadsheet of how many minutes we've
done every day. I challenge what's this person's name, Justin? Justin? Yeah,
I challenge this Justin if he's got such a long
spreadsheet of all the times we've been doing the podcast
to actually end up all the time we've done the

(04:35):
podcast for all the dates, and you will see that
the times that we went over the fifteen minutes far
outway the time. Don't say that scared that way. Don't
average it out scary if we if we if we
add four minutes a week, we cut back twenty like

(04:56):
you're doing the math wrong. Okay, I'll say this. Most
of them are are are on time. Except for January seven,
we did a four minute and fifteen second podcast. Okay,
but foggy, how many times did we do like eighteen
three minute there are here, There are your school? If
you got a zero, zero is terrible. It can bring

(05:18):
down your entire average. If you get a bunch of a's,
you get one zero, it will suck you up. We
have tossed in a couple zeros a few times. You've
talked more zeros than anything else. When somebody says something
that you can't air and then we don't post a podcast, okay,
can we go back to this justin fellow? Why is
he narking on us like snitch? Seriously? We appreciate that
your fans compliment Narco. It's nice, it's nicety. It's nice

(05:42):
that he's a fan. I like that part, but I
just don't like the You know, maybe what we should
do is change the name from the fifteen minutes show
to the after show podcast, and then you can't host
kind of your origin of the fifteen minute morning show. Sorry,
how long we feel like talking today? Podcast? You're done?
When you finished? Originally when we put it together, it

(06:04):
was well, if we'd say it's fifteen minutes, we know
we won't go over that right because the initial thought was,
we will just keep talking how wrong we were? We
were there just joined. Yeah, we have a listener now
who actually has a spreadsheet of the length of times
for our last podcasts, and we are grossly under what

(06:25):
do you that's just His name is Justin, Justin get alive.
We love you, Justin, Thanks for caring. Hey, so what
are we doing on the podcast? Well, we had a
quick interlude of crapping ourselves. Let's okay, you're dating a

(06:46):
guy and he's super hot, so hot? Would you find
out he shit himself? Does his hotness go down on
your No, it didn't, because that really happened. Know when
I first started idled you to keep that between you.
When I first started dating Alex, I took him to
Santa Fe. He was not ready for the hot, hot,
spicy food, and he crapped himself. He gambled on a

(07:10):
fart and he did so. He said, I'm gonna go
take a shower. What it's like noon? Why are you
taking another shower? So? I just feel dirty? So he
snow and took it. He took a shower. Now, how
many The actual question that started the podcast was how
many times a year is it acceptable for the average
adult to crap themselves a little bit or a lot.

(07:32):
Answer that question be could you do it? Nate? We
a minute? Can I just clarify almost zero, it's not
acceptable as your own adult to crap your pants. I
bet you, I bet you. Diamond would say something different. Yeah,
I think more people do it a year than we
we think about. Because my two friends said their answer
was three times a year. I thought maybe once a
decade if the stomach flu was involved. They said, no,

(07:54):
three times a year. It's definitely like charting that count
ye in the bathroom for like two hours. How many
times do you put yourself per year? I don't poop myself.
I plan accordingly, you love, it's acceptable to poop yourself
more than I don't think it's okay. I really don't.
I think that you know when something is a little fishy.

(08:17):
Sometimes Sam herselfish week, but Sam was inebriated. She was inebriated.
That doesn't count. How many times per year? It still counts? Counts.
How many times per year is it acceptable to poo yourself? Oh,
you've got an average out once every few years. We're
not going year to five. I've only done it once ever,

(08:40):
I was really sick and two years ago. That's the case.
I'm done for the year. Then yesterday I hit the quota.
I hit it in February, so I'm done now. Yesterday
somebody I won't say who gave Scotty an atomic We
do don't make you poop your pants. No, they don't
believe you, Agie. Who gave you a wedgie? You did?
Who was that? I'll kill them? Oh it was me,

(09:01):
I least boyfriend. What do you wants? And he goes,
why did you do that? Now I have to go
take a shower. I don't even know what that means
or why he said he had to go take a show.
But not at the shower. Kids up there. I got
to go home. Bye, good bye. Yeah, yeah, there's some
one on my couch. It's okay. I last pooed myself
in gambled on a part. That's why do you today?

(09:24):
You went to the bathroom. You rember new sports apps
to gamble on a part. I don't. I don't think
that's on draftie. Remember the year you last craft your pants?
It was the year before I met what Heather, and
I was sad. I almost did. I'm a little dark
who was before I met Heather. And I was on

(09:46):
a date with a girl and we went to breakfast,
and now she's dead. Uh. It went to breakfast and
I wanted to go to the bathroom in the restaurant,
but it was right next to the table. And it
was one of those bathrooms that's like literally just the
toilet and it was right next to the table. So
I'm like, horrible, She's going to hear everything. Yeah, So

(10:08):
I'm like, okay, we'll just end the date. I give
her a hug outside she walks one way. I finally
am able to let a fart out, and boy did
I lose big time. Yeah, and I haven't met your wife,
and I met my wife. I haven't crapped myself since
I need a woman that I can make poop noises
around them and she won't judge me. Wait a minute,
you didn't crap yourself recently when you were ill, because

(10:33):
I you were asking me if Brandon crapped himself over something,
because you were like, yeah, it made me crrep myself.
And you know what, Scotty and I had the food poisoning,
I almost poop that's when I did, yeah, you know,
and he went back on this again. I thought I
thought would move on from That's where I learned never
trust a fart, because that's what I thought it was.

(10:57):
You get such a great job of cleaning it up
and moving it away from this topic. Circled the drains
that wasn't in a drain, that was in the bed.
Lost one pair of underwear of my entire life, so
when you were a baby, lost lots of Yeah, but
that doesn't count. That's expected. Yeah. Never when when your

(11:18):
kids parents understand this, or your kid has a major blowout,
you just take the kid, threw it away, right you
You put them underneath to in the bathtub, and you
don't even try really turn it on. And here you go.
Scary if one of your cousins shot at themselves, would
you break up with them? So like when a blowout

(11:41):
it's so bad, doesn't it come out the back everywhere?
From the kids? They wipe it on the wall. I
don't miss. That is like less incentive you want to
clean off of their back. Positive still outweighs the negatives.
When you got to clean the spokes of the crib,
it's close, it's close, spokes of the crib. The never Yeah,

(12:04):
because they turn around and then they wipe it on
that My mom said, I used to do. You said,
this is so disgusting. She said she walked in once
when I was a baby and I had they were
brown on the walls. She goes, what did you do?
I apparently stuck my hand in my diaper and smeared
it all. You're like, you know when you when you

(12:30):
are at the grossest level of this podcast we've ever been.
A perfect text has arrived. So this person just writes
and this is area CO two oh three. You guys
just winging at time, winging at times, and it's okay.
I love it when you go off schedule and play
songs they're talking about the big show. It makes my
day when you play the songs of yesterday. As far

(12:51):
as the fifteen minute morning show goes, if it's ten minutes,
so what it's like, you guys said, it's a bonus.
I'd rather have nine minutes and three seconds than nothing
at all. Keep doing what you're doing, don't change. Listening
daily from the antenna the size of a finger, as
Elvis says on the top of the Empire State Building
to my Clock radio in Shelton, Connecticut, your one hundred
fan ray gay Lord. Have a great day, my wife, kids,

(13:14):
and I love you all. Thank you. Yes, let's share
for minutes. I'll major props, major props for gay ray Lord.
Yes where we are. That's not what the people on
the Facebook fan group say they want fifteen minutes. I
think it's you at the end of the day, You're
very want By the way, I would like to point

(13:37):
out that the average Brooklyn Boys episode, it's like an
hour and a halfs in this page, you're talking about
their listeners on text at say the opposite, so it
all evens itself out. By the way, here, he's not
yelling at you. That's how he speaks. I'm just people
think I'm killing at them. He's going to say something. Yes,
I'm just I'm just giving them a voice because they
don't have one, so I'm being their voice. Mouth Peace

(13:59):
Goody is afraid of the face but people, no, no,
I'm not afraid of them. I'm just trying to You know,
we gave you the opportunity yesterday to fill out the
fifteen minutes and you failed. If you think about it,
Facebook is face less because you're not in front of you.
I get it. But like the Texters, I think I
think what we're saying is that we should just not
promise fifteen minutes. Maybe we should just call it the
aftershow Morning show podcast. How about Justin gonna write down

(14:21):
on his log free what's he gonna write down today? Well,
if we talk for another minute, we will. We will
make Justin happy and he'll get did all the times?
Has a guy that did all the times? Okay, wait,
this is scary. Hates when I do this, but sometimes
my computer freezes, as it has a couple of times today,
and this is how it just froze on scary well

(14:41):
screen that is okay, give that to Deanna. So from
now on, when the podcast is short, you'll put that
picture up for the remainder of the time. How use
photo shop and make sure you screenshot. It was eleven
eleven minutes of podcast, four minutes of that pure birthday
post for you love it, Happy birthday, Scary and we're done. No,

(15:03):
we're not. No, you've got another ten seconds lefty six
by stop to stop too? Why come over come here?
We owe them more? Okay, you keep going scotty. Everybody
else seeing bye bye. The fifteen minute Morning Show