Move Your Sex Shop Away from Strip Mall

James and Elaine have a new sex toy shop in their neighborhood and have been complaining, so Skeery calls as the owner with some thoughts of his own!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone. Elvis duran Elvis Durand's phone tappen nice, scary,
give us a good phone tap, so let me emailed
us wanting to phone tap his neighbors jeans and a lane.
So this erotic sex toy store opened up in the
strip ball parking lot in the neighborhood, and the entire
community is up in arms about it, especially jeams in
the lane. So they've left messages for the sex toy owner.

(00:21):
And I'm going to pretend to be there about Oh,
this is Winston from Wainsa.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
I left about four messages for you. But grind out, lad,
How long is that they get to get back to somebody?
You've got that chicks toy store in a strip wall.
What the hell's the matter with you?

Speaker 1 (00:39):
There's nothing the matter with me. The same way with
these other businesses living their American dream. I'm living mine.
It's all about capitalism.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
American dream. This is a nice little suburban community. People
enjoy sex in the privacy of their own homes, not
out on the streets. You got this stuff right out.
There's nothing in the street.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Show me where there's something in the street. I got
t windows.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
How about the flyers you put on people's windshields. You
think the kids don't pick those up and look it up.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
That was for a promotion we were doing called Slippery Saturdays.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Your thread thin ice, miss, If you won't shut that
place down voluntarily, I will make sure that it gets
shut down. And that's not a threat, that's a promise. Okay,
you don't know who you're dealing with here.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
I have just as much right to be here as
Chipotle does.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
I got that guy from the sexborn in the strip,
not a porn star.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Hello, Hi, listen, you don't know you're really making a
disruption to this neighborhood. As a mother, do you know
what it's like to walk past and have a thirteen
year old girl ask me what vanoit balls are?

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Tell her it's a big girl necklace.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
Don't tell me. Watch that you talk to my wife.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
I got a little boy going to Jimberee and he's
looking in there and there's a strap on sticking up.
I got a talent. It's an elephant nose for Halloween costume.
This is what I'm telling my kids.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Well, you know what you get a Mother of the
Year award, congratulations.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
A superhero weapons?

Speaker 1 (02:04):
What you're supposed to do. Let's get creative with the kids.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
Look, I'm not saying you can't have your sex shop,
but you have it in some deserted lot somewhere. You
don't have it next to it.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
Dunkin Donuts on Thursday is TVT touch, But Thursdays I'm
telling you to watch your mouth when you talk to
my wife.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
You hear me.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Why are you coming?

Speaker 2 (02:23):
And look around and let me tell you something interesting.
The last person you want in there is me, because
not break your knee capture if I come in here?
You hear me. Let's just get off the phone with
this guy. I don't want to. I don't even want
to think. The action that I got to take is
no normal man. You I don't know what's me? Okay,
what are you gonna do? You'll know my boat is
three quarters up? You're okay?

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Perfect? You know I'm recording this, so anything you say
it will be held against you in a court of law.
How about that?

Speaker 2 (02:49):
All fight?

Speaker 3 (02:50):
My Well, are you recording that you're doing some fun
of children and stuff like that? You're not getting any
business in there. I look, there's nobody in there.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
At two when you looked, wait a second, you look,
so you have been here.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
Now I'm there with my kids and we're looking there
and there's nobody in there.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Us not dying in there. You're dying in there. All right.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Well, if you want me to close shop, I have
to talk to my number one investor to see if
he wants to move good.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Right there, you do that, you're your number one investor.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
His name is Elvis, Elvis Duran.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Oh boy, he doesn't need that crap radio.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Just make excuses.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
I'm gonna tell him that you've been phone tapped. This
is scary Jones. Your neighbor Lenny put me up to this,
said you complained to the town

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Leny and go kick his heads, Elsa