Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Sells Xmas Caulk

Mr. Michael Oppenheimer the telemarketer LOVES to push products on bothered citizens.....especially this very important holiday gift, Christmas Caulk!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tapp,
Dear Elvis.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
My boyfriend Patrick despises telephone telemarketers. He has a very
short temper. I think a call from Michael Oppenheimer is needed.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
All right.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
He lives nowhere near where you are broadcasting your show,
so he will have no clue who Michael Oppenheimer is.
This comes to us from Gisell.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
All right, Giselle, phone.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Tapping boyfriend Patrick with the relentless Michael Oppenheimer. You ready, Yeah,
let's here we go. Today's phone tap.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Let's listen in.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
Hello.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Oh yes, coeternoon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with Calk
Doctor Pro Calkwright kit. How are you doing today, sir?

Speaker 3 (00:44):
Uh? Good, well, I'm sorry. Where are you from?

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Calk Doctor pro. Make your bath or sinks look great
with Caulk doctor proe.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Oh you know, I'm not interested, Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Well, he's continued. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer for Cock doctor.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Pro cock earlier I'm not interested, sir.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
It's finally time to replace that discolored mildewy old cocking.
This doctor has the perfect prescription for all your calking
needs kit is all you're going to need my story.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
I'm not interested in your cock.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
The cock around tubs anymore sinks. Well, this is mister
Michael Oppenheimer. Hello.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Why are you calling me again?

Speaker 1 (01:35):
You're in a list of people to be called today? Wait?

Speaker 3 (01:38):
Why are you calling me again?

Speaker 1 (01:40):
I'm calling you because the cock Doctor Pro can be
the perfect solution for you in your home.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Are you talking about? You're calling my cell phone. I
am on the do not call list. Don't call me.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Quickly and easily remove the most stubborn cock without scratching.
Do you have a tub? Sir? Hello? Hello, sounds like
your cell phone dropped the call. This is mister Michael
Oppenheimer with Cock Doctor Company.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
You work final? Who do you work for? Why do
you to do this? I want to talk to your manager?
Do your phone?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Do you live in a home? Do you know?

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Did you just know what I said? Put your manager
on the phone, sir.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
I don't have a manager. I am a telemarketer. My
name is mister Michael Oppenheimer. Sir, call your tub might
be in need of serious repair. There might be old.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
Mill around you. Do not put your manager on the phone.
If you're not gonna listen to I said, I'm not
digested in cock. I am waiting for a call. I
cannot get this call because you keep calling. You don't
need to get a.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Life, sir. Do you have residue around your sink? Because
here at cock Doctor Pro we say resid dot if
you use our product.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Co doctor, Why do you keep talking? Give me an
answer to that questioning nothing?

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Because maybe cock Doctor Pro is the perfect solution for
your backsplash, doors, windows, and more. How does that sound?

Speaker 3 (03:09):
That's sounds incredible.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Go into your bathroom and examine your cock.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
I'm not even I'm not I'm not even listening to you.
Just keep talking.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Is your cock dirty, sir? Because if so, cock Doctor
Pro will be to the rescue.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
So, okay, are are you done?

Speaker 1 (03:26):
Sir?

Speaker 3 (03:26):
We've done? What else? Tell me? Are you done?

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Sir? We got off on the wrong foot. Let's take
this from the top. My name is mister, My name
is mister Michael Oppenheimer. You can use our cock for
the tightest spots.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
Are you crazy? Un sir crazy?

Speaker 1 (03:41):
You could force cock deep into cracks for a complete seal.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Why why, why? Why do I want to buy cock?

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Sir? The cock in your bathroom. It might be cracked.
Our cock comes in black, almond and white.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Why do you have the dumbest business I've ever heard
your John cock?

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Sure, I know, But with this handy dandy kit you
can cock your kitchen right, No more missy fingers or closed.
It's easy to use.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
You're terrible at your job, noise.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Sure you can give the gift of cock for the holidays.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
You're here, You're not listening to a single thing that
I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Just picture the joy on your girlfriend's face when she
wakes up on Christmas morning with cock in her stocking.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
Why would I want to get cock to my girlfriend?

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Maybe she's got grime and mildew on her tub and
you'd like to reseal it for her. Women love a
handyman around the house.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
I'm not gonna get my girlfriend cock.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Maybe you should ask her why she phoned upped you. Hey, Patrick,
my name is Scary Jones from Elvis Duran in the
Morning Show, and your girlfriend Giselle is playing a joke
on you.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
My god, maybe thought we got good my god, Oh
my god, you want to.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
It's a radio prank, you little.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
Radio you got phone tap? Oh my god. Yeah, I
guess what you're getting for Christmas? What they're gonna get
a lot of almond cog.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
The Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone tab was pre
recorded with permission granted by all participates.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
The Elvis Dan phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show