Oppenheimer 12 (Horse Reader's Digest)

Mr. Michel Oppenheimer may not be the best salesperson in the world, but he is certainly the most persistent! Annoying as all hell as he tries to sell Vincent's grandparents the magazine, Horseback Rider's Digest!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
The Elvis Duran phones happen. Well, what a controversial character
this Michael Oppenheimer guy is. But we want to let
you know that we officially stand behind him one hundred percent.
The email came in from Vincent. I want you to
call my grandparents' house and annoy them. It's funny to
watch them get angry. Anyway, you can say whatever you
want to to the people of the house. I want

(00:22):
Scary to call as Michael Oppenheimer. It'd be really great.
Tell them to use that Michael Oppenheimer voice. And if
my grandfather answers the phone, annoy them to or my
uncle he may be there as well. There you go.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
So is the uncle going to pick up the grandparents?

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Let's see now, as Michael Oppenheimer calls the grandparents house.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
Hello, oh, yes, good morning. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer
with Horseback Rider's Digest. How are you doing today, miss.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
No, I'm not interested. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
We have a wonderful magazine for you today.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
No.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
I know I heard you, but I'm not interested in
the Reader's Digest. It's not Reader's Digest, it's Horseback Riders
Readers Digest, No, thank you. These are for people who
ride horses.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Why are you?

Speaker 3 (01:03):
My name is mister Michael Oppenheimer, and I'm with Horseback
Riders Reader's Digest.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm not interested in that.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
I have a special offer for you to know. I'm
not just one second though. It's twelve issues that.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
We have here.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
I'm sorry for sixty two dollars and thirty six cents digestic.
Oh yes, good morning.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
You don't want sir?

Speaker 3 (01:28):
You didn't let me finish.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
You don't have you.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
Can I speak to the misses of the house.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Please do not understand English.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Sure we have a wonderful magazine.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
If you got a million dollars?

Speaker 3 (01:39):
Okay? All I want to say?

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Why don't call again? Otherwise I have this phone traite.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Okay, it's five dollars ten a dollar? What I just
five dollars and nineteen cents per nice?

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I don't give it.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Is there somebody in your family that rides horses?

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Won't you ride my left?

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Is there somebody that maybe has a pony in your family?
Because we do have a magazine for pony owners Pet
Pony Weekly.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
A pony about that? It's not comprehended. Do you speak English.
Do you not understand? Now?

Speaker 3 (02:08):
Who would like?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
No? One would like Jack? Do you not understand? Don't
fall back again, because you're wasting your breath.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Sir, Who in your family owns a horse?

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Hello? We can make you feed my pony. I ain't
got time to talk to you.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Who's no reason to get rid. I'm a telemarketer, and
I've been told.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
To give them give you a telemarketer.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Well, well just tell you I was told to call
this phone number.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
I don't care if you were told to call the
president of the United States. There's no one here that
wants any of that.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
They told me someone at this residence owns a horse.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
I don't own a horse.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
You're giving me a hard time.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
For now you give me a hard time. You're calling
this house.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
I was told to sell this magazine to this residence.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Sir, sell nothing, you're not selling here. Talk to the wall.
Ready here, listen, Hey, craz what do you want?

Speaker 3 (03:00):
I'd really like your credit card number.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
We don't want nothing.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
I'm just reading from my I don't want to hear them.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Get the cops, put them on the phone and let
them talk to the right outside.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
What's your name, sir?

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Love? My mother's name. Just get off the phone. I
don't need you on the phone. All I want to
do is I don't want to give up what you
want to do. What I want you to do is
hang out and leave me alone, sir.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
Maybe some literature it, perhaps some literature. Yeah, Hello, hello, friend, Hello,
this is mister Michael Avenheimer. Again.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
I just want to tell you.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
I just want to tell you that I offer here
our instruction offers sixty for twelve.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Please don't.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Please, don't be childish.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
You're being childish. You're calling my house.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
When I'm offering you a full eighty three cents of
the cover price. Oh my, sir, this is.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
Right.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Can I speak to your mother.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
And phone crackers?

Speaker 3 (04:12):
What is your name, sir?

Speaker 1 (04:13):
My name is fright like.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
You, mister face. Can I have your address? Please?

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Don't need what's your dress?

Speaker 3 (04:20):
I have one more thing for you? Yes I do, Yes,
I do.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
You're on speakerphone face, and everybody.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Hear you, and everybody can hear you, and grandma and
grandpa because you've all been phone tapped. Have grandpa pick
up the phone. Hello, this is Kury Jones. Oh my god,
Elvis duran phone tap this phone table was pre recorded
with permission granted by all participants.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
The Elvis Terran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the morning show