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September 8, 2022 14 mins

Why are we stuck to our phones for maps? Also we start talking halloween costumes?!?! 

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast,
Firm Elvis Presents. Here we go. It's kind of weird.
It's a Wednesday, but it feels like a Tuesday. We
lost that that day. We love that. We're all voting

(00:23):
for the four day work week, all in favors. Say,
there you go. Froggy's here. There's Scary from a different angle.
This is looking right up his nose. And there's Scotty
b And there's Danielle and Gandhi, and there's straight Nate,
and I see Garrett Scotty. Scotty. Oh there is high Scotty.

(00:45):
I did say hi, right, you know, I think of
the having fun is going on? Scary? What are you doing?
Scary car just malfunctioned on his computer. I got Scary
in front of me. She's got the good camera trying
to do a show. Scary trying to do a Sorry guys,
that's okay. Um, what was I gonna say? I think
I'm having zoom fatigue? Oh it's back. What zoom? Remember

(01:09):
that was what two years ago when we were doing
this all the time, and then somebody came out with
the term zoom fatigue. I've got it. I mean I
don't feel like I see everyone, even though if I
look closely, I'll see you there. Because we have, you know,
eight pains, we're looking at us six pains. It's weird,
I don't know, kind of ready to every already, just
never use zoom ever again. Well, do you remember how

(01:31):
we used to do remote We wouldn't see you and
this was only what four years ago. We would just say,
how did we do that? I was trying to. I
was trying to think about that the other day. I'm like,
so it was weird because when you guys were on
the cruise, that's how I had to run the show
by listening because everybody was on the cruise. I was
you know, that's old school there. Yeah, So like I
almost like closed my eyes and I had to listen,

(01:51):
and like I had to like guide the show that way,
listening and watching like we used to do before we
had ways. In the car, we used to actually drive
without knowing there's traffic. Take out the big you like
print up all of your your directions and you'd have
them in your hand. Yeah, Q, I mean that was terrible, Yeah,
map quest trying to like read the directions and driving

(02:13):
when Greg and I used to go out in the
morning is we would have a map quest print out
every single morning where we're going to There was no GPS.
I think it is, and we are slaves to that. Unfortunately.
About with navigation, I was talking to producer Sam this
morning and Andrew about a new route to work. So
I said, all you gotta do is open Google Maps
and you could see the quickest way to work in

(02:34):
the morning and how it's gonna be. And she's like,
I'm sorry, I'm a millennial and I just just you know,
I just follow instructions of what my my ways tells
me to do. You can't become a slave to an
app or the same thing though, like opening up Google yah,
opening up your GPS like you're still being navigated by
something like I like to take a look and say,

(02:56):
what is the shortest distance between two two points? Is
a lot line? Straight line? I could go buy you
a hackstrim if you want, but that takes a will
that takes time. What he also does, though scary. He
does that when he's in an uber though. He'll tell
the uber driver he'll pull and then he'll start telling
Google like you know what you want to start pissing
off uber drivers tell him how to drive, you know,

(03:17):
and they'll do like, hey, you want to come up
here and drive? Then shut up sitting back there and
shut up. You know we ought to do though for
a different route every day. You can't choose one that's
two minutes longer right below. How about the ones that
they say it'll take you twenty two minutes or three
hours and six minutes with no tolls. Who'll ficks that option?
Who would ever pick that up? The walkers, the people
who walk know that it's in the car, it's not

(03:38):
a walker. It's so stupid. My dad drove a semi
for years, so he would go from like Cleveland, Buffalo
to Rochester and all these places. And I remember him.
Every night he would call his buddies and say, yeah,
I've got to go to Schenectady. And he would be
sitting there writing down directions, like writing down directions from
somebody telling him how to get there. And one time
he wrote down the directions like turn left at the

(04:00):
barn or something like that, and then he gets there
and he can't find the place to turn because the
barn had burned down a week before around oh no,
and he had to finally stop and ask her direction
was like, oh that barn you have that burned down
last week? Damn. Do any of you do what I do? Though?
Even if I know where I'm going, I put it
in the GPS. I want to avoid the traffic. Yeah,

(04:22):
every morning. Yeah, I do that too, just because like
with the time we come in. Yeah, we don't know
if there's going to be construction. I'll do that when
I'm living a day. We take two We take two
same roads every single day, and I think going, excuse me,
going an alternate route. It's good for us. Yes, Danielle
will never be able to do that. Like seeing what

(04:43):
she does in the room, she can't walk out the
same door. I mean, that's different when I'm in my car,
when I'm in this studio, that's different. We won't talk
about that. I say, stop being a slave to your GPS.
Make your own route. I don't know, you know what
coming home from the airport to today JFK to way
out here in New Jersey. We took away. I've never
been before, and we don't know why we obviously there

(05:05):
was there was some traffic incident on our typical route.
We took away. I was going through roads I've never
seen before. It actually turned out to be faster than
the way we usually take. We learned a new way
because we were a slave to the ways. Okay, sometimes
ways will take you on a very jacked up way
through like residential neighborhoods and everything else, Like why am

(05:25):
I going this way? Yeah? What do you know? Okay,
I'm bored? Is that it? Can we talk about how
Nate started before we got the show going. He said,
let's talk about Helloween. I'm so excited for Halloween. I
hate I hate summer. I'm like that, I hate summer.
I'm so excited for summer to be over. Then let's

(05:47):
talk about Halloween. You go, I can't wait. I'm so
excited for this year. I'm going to finally be Grandpa
Joe for five years. I finally talked to Heather Into
and she's gonna be Charlie Buckett and I'm gonna have
the dirty stained sleeping shirt and I I can't wait
for this costume. I'm so excited. It can't be Charlie.
That is creepy. They sleep in the same bed you

(06:11):
sleep with your wife, and then you're gonna like have
a sexual fantasy where she still dresses Charlie and I'm
Grandpa Joe. If you do, that's okay. Everyone has their thing.
I'm not going to do that. If you think I'm
gonna have sex with her while I'm dressed as Grandpa.
Oh my god. Here's the thing though, you know, Nate,
when people ask you who you are, you're gonna have
to take a moment to describe it and explain it.

(06:33):
A lot of people they're not. They're gonna be, oh, okay,
Now I go all out like I'm gonna I plan
on doing the hair and getting a gray and having
the bald cap and everything and the mustache, the creepy
pervy mustache. That still doesn't say what character you're. You're
being a character, like you're like the character number four
from Willie Walker in the Chocolate Factory. I don't know.

(06:53):
I mean, there's this this this thing where people hate
Grandpa Joe, right, so I feel like I might get
some hate if I'm going out as I think if
you guys were, if you were a throuble with someone,
you could do it because you need Willy Wonka and
Charlie and then you do Grandpa Joe, and then it
makes sense. It's just a bed, just being a bed
the whole time. It wasn't in a bed. That's why

(07:15):
everybody hates him. He did bed ridden a f Yeah,
and then as soon as there was a golden ticket,
he literally jumped out right and then you know he's
floating around the bubble Toweh. We got this mapped out,
scary has the Willy Wonka costume. I was Willy Wonka twice.
I was a Johnny definitely Wonka and the Gene Wilder Wanka.

(07:37):
I was both, well, do you want to be our throuble?
I mean, we're gonna go to a party together. I'll
re create that one. That was one of my best ones.
I could be in the Indian Umba Loompa from the
new version. You would nail it. Totally, totally nail that.
I could do that, Thank you for I would appreciate that.

(07:58):
Speaking of when will you do your first corn Maze? Oh?
Because they started just I just looked ours here in Jacksonville.
The first one opens on October one. It's still a
little warm than to go corn down there. Yeah. Corn
Maze is yeah, buttered. I didn't know they grew corn
down there. I love Colin, you love Colin, I love Comb.

(08:20):
So when are we ordering these Halloween costumes? Are you
seriously going to do that? Why don't you add to
there's other characters that are worth We need a Violet Beauregard. Yeah, oh, Elvis,
you would make a fabulous Veruca. Yes, daddy, Daddy, I
want a new now, okay, okay, maybe the whole show

(08:40):
could do a I think it'd be great. Want on,
who else wants to be in the bed with me? Yeah?
You could do Grandpa George. He was the old man
that didn't get out of bed. He's on that eight bananas?
What I mean, I'll sneak bananas in the bed. That's
disgusting with you? Said? Who wants to be in bed
with me? He volunteered in me, looked right at me

(09:02):
and smiled. So I was like, all right, I'll do it.
You make a great Grandpa George. Yeah? Ok are we done?
We were having accomplished jack Ship. We feel like we
ended up in the coin maze and we just ended
up at a dead end where you run straight out.
Now you just run straight out, don't look you know what?
I may have to pull out all the stops and

(09:22):
come in in an extra extra special Halloween costume, like
when you were Electatia. That was one of the Queen
of lectose intolerance. Yes, that was. I may have to
do that tastic cost that was like a costume. Probably
went to that crazy Halloween shop in New York City. Remember, yes,
don't have a dress. I don't. I don't know what

(09:45):
the dress is. I still have the wings. Those wings
were those expensive part and they weighed so much. I
may have to have wings again this year. I don't
know what I'm gonna be, the wing to something. I
don't know what I'm gonna be. You had makeup, you
had everything that day. My good. There were some people
on the show that were it upset because I have
staged them? Really was upset that No, that was a

(10:10):
year before. But I was a fucking great cost It
was fantastic. Yeah, thank you. I was a thug. Did you?
Did you ever see that costume? But I would, so
I was. I had an ugg boot which I made,
and then I was dressed as a thug. I get it.
He got it, okay, So then yeah, you were just
the boot. Well then I just went out as the

(10:32):
Nate's the kind of guy who wants to wear a
costume that has to have explanation. You love, just stop
down and go Okay, I'm glad you asked. I am
a that's what Grandpa Joe. Yeah, I went out with
my so the first year I was in New York City,
I went out with my best friend and we were
just covered in chains and there was two of us
and some guy goes, yo, what up to chains? And

(10:52):
it was the best night of my life. Uh that
was for Sanders. His hair bray and he couldn't get
it out. I forgot how much you do get into
Halloween costume. Love good Halloween costumes. Love you go all.
You gotta go all. I think you gotta go all
in and you don't go at all deep deep wants

(11:17):
Condy and I and I was. I was Mr Rogers
and who are you? I was a wookie? No, I
was an e walk. Oh yeah, I was an e walk.
And it was because Danielle it was a onesie that
it was very common the ball ears and everybody was like,
you are the cutest teddy bear I've ever said when
you walk. But that's fine. The simple lumpa thing is

(11:38):
gonna work. Out this year, Nate. I love how Gandhi's
just gravitated toward the short characters got you got it,
you got your strength. I tried. I tried to do
with serial reference from the eighties. I tried to be
Frank and Burry one year and they're like, oh, I
get it, Pinky in the brain, and I'm like, no,
I'm sorry. I just remember and they're like, nope, don't

(12:01):
you remember count Chocolate. Can't remember Frank, I remember Colonel
Sanders in the Thug. Thank you see memorable. I think
inflatable costumes are the way to go. They're fun there,
but they're easy, and then people keep their distance from
you because they can't get It's very COVID safe. And
I'm telling you a Halloween night, if you're in a

(12:22):
cold environment, I always change, no matter what I'm dressed
as into a onesie. I buy a new fun onesie
and I had accessories. It's the most comfortable way to
go trick or treating. And you know, I go to
those expensive nice um uh neighborhoods where they give the
full size candy bars. I'll be do yes. I go
to Chris Rock's house. I go to uh C c.

(12:44):
Sabathia's house and I'll be coming again this year. Wow.
Danielle always going to the Superstars homes for her full
size candy bars. They give you sometimes a pick. I
like ten and they go, you can pick three. You
come to my house, you get all size candy bars too,
because I collect all the extra full size Eminem's Mars
bars that sit around here and I take them home.

(13:05):
So kids get the old candy at my house, the
old years ago. No. No, it usually like expires that month.
You know. I hang onto it right. Kids don't look
at the dates stand and they eat it right away. Anyways,
that's true. Yeah, back to your inflatable costumes. If you
fart in one of those, does it circulate hot fart smell?
That is a great question. And what noise does that make?

(13:26):
It's got to sound really cool to part it inflatable. Well,
the inflatables have a fan in them here. Yeah, I
would imagine it's probably just shoots out whatever hole. Look
at that or the hand I'm gonna I'm gonna carry
a little sharp object with me. You start blowing around
the room. All right, Well, it's been nice, it's been fun,

(13:48):
but it hasn't been nice, fun, Let's get out of here,
have a beautiful day. Fifteen minute morning show
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