January 6, 2026 • 8 mins
The After Party spirals from nose shapes to hotel horrors, coffee-pot crimes, and stuffed-animal scandals in an unhinged, absolutely unfiltered roundtable you cannot un-hear.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Get your hands together, and we're going to stop and
party start.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm a party the Elvis Terran after party you start that.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
So not long ago, Andrew was asking us all what
a weird compliment was that we got. And I have
a friend who's obsessed with my nose. Every time I
see him, he's like, oh my god, you have the
cutest nose ever. And I said, not really, it looks
like a dick and ball. But I think all noses.
Whenever I look at noses, I see a dick and
balls in the middle.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
When I take a selfie, you know, sometimes that's all
I can focus on. I go, what is my my
nose look like a penis?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Correct?
Speaker 5 (00:50):
I feel like I have the biggest dick and balls
on my fall.
Speaker 6 (00:54):
Just like.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Even weird.
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Yeah, I mean I definitely see it out, but I
never thought of.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
That much of a sack.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
When he gets mad, he makes this nostril flair thing.
Speaker 7 (01:05):
Do it which the balls and the nostrils?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Yeah you never noticed this? No, you dick and balls? Yeah?
Speaker 7 (01:14):
Maybe on my face? Maybe on my face, I do.
Speaker 6 (01:17):
I honestly don't want him to know that because the
things that he's going to.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Put near there were good they make him anyway, Scaries
is a very pudgy dick and balls? Did you notice it?
Weird kind it's like slightly crooked.
Speaker 6 (01:31):
Like, yeah, it is a little bent, it's got a
curve to it.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
I'm so glad you mentioned I thought I was the
only person that thought that.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I feel much better.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I find myself staring at people that have like extra
dick and balls he noses, and I'm like, do they know?
Should I say it? I shouldn't say it?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Don't funny.
Speaker 5 (01:50):
Every once in a while you have this thought that
you think you're the only person that ever thinks that,
and then somebody else says it.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You're like, oh my, it makes you feel so much better.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Actually, I always.
Speaker 8 (01:59):
Say that if you have thought of it, someone else
has definitely right I always I always say it to myself.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Said as as.
Speaker 8 (02:07):
Weird and creepy, any any dark, deep thoughts you could
think of, someone has definitely come to the table.
Speaker 7 (02:16):
Oh gods, penis in things. If I've thought of it,
somebody has done it, say scary. Same with you with
the curtains, people have done it.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
I've never done anything with curtains.
Speaker 7 (02:29):
No, but you thought it, but you thought it.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I thought his theory is that. My thought.
Speaker 8 (02:35):
My theory is, don't ever touch hotel curtains because that
they've people have definitely finished on them.
Speaker 7 (02:43):
Yes, that's right, someone's done it and they never and
they never washed the curtains ever.
Speaker 8 (02:51):
So those things are there since day one and just
collecting all kinds of.
Speaker 7 (02:56):
They never watched the coffee pot ever either, So there
you go.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
No they do.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I can't.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
I have to believe no one's putting it in.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
An espresso hole or no one's doing that day. Now
there's all the little instant coffee pods.
Speaker 7 (03:07):
Listen, you saw that hidden camera show on Fox many
years ago, non't the guy Peede in the coffee pot
at work?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
People do things, so.
Speaker 6 (03:15):
This is what you remember, and now you think everyone
does it well.
Speaker 7 (03:19):
But no, not everyone that it's been done.
Speaker 8 (03:21):
People behave badly when they don't know they're being watched.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Things are defiled.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Okay, that's insane of like curtains.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Jes Yeah, guy, it just goes to hotels.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
You bring a black lion in there, you will. You
will see what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I think the bed will probably be way more.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
That's the first thing.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
To the curtains.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Think about that.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
You go to a motel, hotel, what holiday inn, you're
sitting on that bed, you're sleeping on that bed. You
would not even go near it if you actually knew
what people did on that thing?
Speaker 6 (03:59):
Right?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Well, the sheets get washed and do they cover?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
As soon as I this is this is routine. As
soon as I walk into a hotel room, turn on
the light.
Speaker 8 (04:09):
The very next thing I do is go right to
the bed and pull that top layer duvet off because
that never gets and any throw pillow that may be
around anything but.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
The throw pillow touched inadvertently the pillow behind all of
the stuff that's seeping up through the ship.
Speaker 8 (04:28):
How many.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
Think about how many people like I'm sure you and
a few times.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
But hotels and the people before us.
Speaker 6 (04:37):
And.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Then the person that comes in after you. Do you
think they're thinking?
Speaker 7 (04:41):
What about the stuff that soaks into the mattress and
then comes back up when you sit on it?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Really did anyone them all over the curtains?
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Like you know?
Speaker 7 (04:50):
It's because the germophobe that I am. I will sit
on the duvet, I will touch the remote control.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I do nothing of it.
Speaker 7 (04:59):
On the phone, What do yeah, put in a bag.
I mean, yeah, a lot of places have them. Someone
touched that bag.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Yeah, the cleaner touched the bag.
Speaker 7 (05:10):
And how clean is that cleaner? The curtains run.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
You know what makes me upset is I like the
people who think about all of these things. You know
that they're the ones who have done some of these things,
which is why you think that way. Andrew has never
done these things, so he's like, no, why would anyone
do that? Why would you stick your dinger in the
coffee maker at a hotel.
Speaker 7 (05:30):
I've never done it. I've never just done a curtain.
I've never stuck my dinger in coffee pots. But I
know that somebody has.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Not. For hate to agree with you, but I feel
like somebody has.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
It might not be in the room, I stated, but
a dinger has definitely been in that coffee pot something.
Speaker 7 (05:42):
Yeah, some drunken guy.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Hey, guys, look at this.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
If I had a dinger, I too might put it
in weird places.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I don't have one.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
So if there was a Machela party in that room,
there was stuff everywhere.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Didn't you wake up one scary to one on your
face or something?
Speaker 7 (05:59):
You're all, oh, Wow, Yes, didn't.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
The salad. He repressed them, he stirred your salad.
Speaker 8 (06:13):
God, this is a video on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Immediate jail. Absolutely the things that.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Went on here in the early two thousands.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Did you eat the salad?
Speaker 4 (06:22):
And then he told you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
See, I think that that is a totally valid reason
to punch someone in their face.
Speaker 8 (06:31):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 6 (06:32):
Not in my salad. Not in my salad.
Speaker 7 (06:35):
It doesn't matter if somebody else did it in the
salad before you even got it on air.
Speaker 8 (06:39):
Bit allegedly I don't know, went on the air.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
People were videoing it.
Speaker 7 (06:43):
The guy picking the lettuce just in the field. So
it's on your lettuce?
Speaker 6 (06:47):
What?
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (06:49):
Are you good?
Speaker 7 (06:50):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
He is clearly not like I really don't.
Speaker 6 (06:53):
Okay, you know what. I'm gonna leave it there. Yeah,
there's no point talk.
Speaker 7 (06:59):
He's long gone though.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Okay. Can we talk about the picture you sent me? Yeah?
I don't care.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
Was it the bear?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
It was Scotti and the bear, no pants on? He
took the picture. Was it post coitus?
Speaker 7 (07:12):
I don't think that that was the quitest occasion.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
It was me. It was Scotti with a bear on
his bed and he had no pants on, no.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
The pictures.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
I was going through old pictures and I found the
picture of Teddy Bear in my bedroom with me with
no pants on.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
That poor bear.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
But that wasn't me.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Can I also talk about this is the same guy
who's like, I'm not going to start an only fans
banana page, my kids will be embarrassed, but then talks
about this bear.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
I was a child.
Speaker 7 (07:42):
Every kid did something with a bear, not me.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
If I thought everyone, did I do anything with a monkey?
Speaker 8 (07:52):
I had my stuffed Curious George monkey and I never
touched it.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Everybody in this podcast asked, right now that has said
had sex with a stepped animal, say I I don't
think I did.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Start start to die.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yeah, just cut it right clear.
Speaker 7 (08:13):
I scoul impressed that memory. I don't know that it
actually happened.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Oh whatever, poor mister, that.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Poor bear should sue.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I think I need a break real Yeah, can we
take a break? Ye time, look at Scotty be did you?
Speaker 8 (08:30):
Thanks?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Andy?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Bye?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Ran after party
Get your hands together, and we're going to stop and
party start.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm a party the Elvis Terran after party you start that.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
So not long ago, Andrew was asking us all what
a weird compliment was that we got. And I have
a friend who's obsessed with my nose. Every time I
see him, he's like, oh my god, you have the
cutest nose ever. And I said, not really, it looks
like a dick and ball. But I think all noses.
Whenever I look at noses, I see a dick and
balls in the middle.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
When I take a selfie, you know, sometimes that's all
I can focus on. I go, what is my my
nose look like a penis?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Correct?
Speaker 5 (00:50):
I feel like I have the biggest dick and balls
on my fall.
Speaker 6 (00:54):
Just like.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Even weird.
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Yeah, I mean I definitely see it out, but I
never thought of.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
That much of a sack.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
When he gets mad, he makes this nostril flair thing.
Speaker 7 (01:05):
Do it which the balls and the nostrils?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Yeah you never noticed this? No, you dick and balls? Yeah?
Speaker 7 (01:14):
Maybe on my face? Maybe on my face, I do.
Speaker 6 (01:17):
I honestly don't want him to know that because the
things that he's going to.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Put near there were good they make him anyway, Scaries
is a very pudgy dick and balls? Did you notice it?
Weird kind it's like slightly crooked.
Speaker 6 (01:31):
Like, yeah, it is a little bent, it's got a
curve to it.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
I'm so glad you mentioned I thought I was the
only person that thought that.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I feel much better.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I find myself staring at people that have like extra
dick and balls he noses, and I'm like, do they know?
Should I say it? I shouldn't say it?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Don't funny.
Speaker 5 (01:50):
Every once in a while you have this thought that
you think you're the only person that ever thinks that,
and then somebody else says it.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You're like, oh my, it makes you feel so much better.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Actually, I always.
Speaker 8 (01:59):
Say that if you have thought of it, someone else
has definitely right I always I always say it to myself.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Said as as.
Speaker 8 (02:07):
Weird and creepy, any any dark, deep thoughts you could
think of, someone has definitely come to the table.
Speaker 7 (02:16):
Oh gods, penis in things. If I've thought of it,
somebody has done it, say scary. Same with you with
the curtains, people have done it.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
I've never done anything with curtains.
Speaker 7 (02:29):
No, but you thought it, but you thought it.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I thought his theory is that. My thought.
Speaker 8 (02:35):
My theory is, don't ever touch hotel curtains because that
they've people have definitely finished on them.
Speaker 7 (02:43):
Yes, that's right, someone's done it and they never and
they never washed the curtains ever.
Speaker 8 (02:51):
So those things are there since day one and just
collecting all kinds of.
Speaker 7 (02:56):
They never watched the coffee pot ever either, So there
you go.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
No they do.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I can't.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
I have to believe no one's putting it in.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
An espresso hole or no one's doing that day. Now
there's all the little instant coffee pods.
Speaker 7 (03:07):
Listen, you saw that hidden camera show on Fox many
years ago, non't the guy Peede in the coffee pot
at work?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
People do things, so.
Speaker 6 (03:15):
This is what you remember, and now you think everyone
does it well.
Speaker 7 (03:19):
But no, not everyone that it's been done.
Speaker 8 (03:21):
People behave badly when they don't know they're being watched.
Speaker 7 (03:25):
Things are defiled.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Okay, that's insane of like curtains.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Jes Yeah, guy, it just goes to hotels.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
You bring a black lion in there, you will. You
will see what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I think the bed will probably be way more.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
That's the first thing.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
To the curtains.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Think about that.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
You go to a motel, hotel, what holiday inn, you're
sitting on that bed, you're sleeping on that bed. You
would not even go near it if you actually knew
what people did on that thing?
Speaker 6 (03:59):
Right?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Well, the sheets get washed and do they cover?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
As soon as I this is this is routine. As
soon as I walk into a hotel room, turn on
the light.
Speaker 8 (04:09):
The very next thing I do is go right to
the bed and pull that top layer duvet off because
that never gets and any throw pillow that may be
around anything but.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
The throw pillow touched inadvertently the pillow behind all of
the stuff that's seeping up through the ship.
Speaker 8 (04:28):
How many.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
Think about how many people like I'm sure you and
a few times.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
But hotels and the people before us.
Speaker 6 (04:37):
And.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Then the person that comes in after you. Do you
think they're thinking?
Speaker 7 (04:41):
What about the stuff that soaks into the mattress and
then comes back up when you sit on it?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Really did anyone them all over the curtains?
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Like you know?
Speaker 7 (04:50):
It's because the germophobe that I am. I will sit
on the duvet, I will touch the remote control.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I do nothing of it.
Speaker 7 (04:59):
On the phone, What do yeah, put in a bag.
I mean, yeah, a lot of places have them. Someone
touched that bag.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Yeah, the cleaner touched the bag.
Speaker 7 (05:10):
And how clean is that cleaner? The curtains run.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
You know what makes me upset is I like the
people who think about all of these things. You know
that they're the ones who have done some of these things,
which is why you think that way. Andrew has never
done these things, so he's like, no, why would anyone
do that? Why would you stick your dinger in the
coffee maker at a hotel.
Speaker 7 (05:30):
I've never done it. I've never just done a curtain.
I've never stuck my dinger in coffee pots. But I
know that somebody has.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Not. For hate to agree with you, but I feel
like somebody has.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
It might not be in the room, I stated, but
a dinger has definitely been in that coffee pot something.
Speaker 7 (05:42):
Yeah, some drunken guy.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Hey, guys, look at this.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
If I had a dinger, I too might put it
in weird places.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I don't have one.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
So if there was a Machela party in that room,
there was stuff everywhere.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Didn't you wake up one scary to one on your
face or something?
Speaker 7 (05:59):
You're all, oh, Wow, Yes, didn't.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
The salad. He repressed them, he stirred your salad.
Speaker 8 (06:13):
God, this is a video on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Immediate jail. Absolutely the things that.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Went on here in the early two thousands.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Did you eat the salad?
Speaker 4 (06:22):
And then he told you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
See, I think that that is a totally valid reason
to punch someone in their face.
Speaker 8 (06:31):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 6 (06:32):
Not in my salad. Not in my salad.
Speaker 7 (06:35):
It doesn't matter if somebody else did it in the
salad before you even got it on air.
Speaker 8 (06:39):
Bit allegedly I don't know, went on the air.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
People were videoing it.
Speaker 7 (06:43):
The guy picking the lettuce just in the field. So
it's on your lettuce?
Speaker 6 (06:47):
What?
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (06:49):
Are you good?
Speaker 7 (06:50):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
He is clearly not like I really don't.
Speaker 6 (06:53):
Okay, you know what. I'm gonna leave it there. Yeah,
there's no point talk.
Speaker 7 (06:59):
He's long gone though.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Okay. Can we talk about the picture you sent me? Yeah?
I don't care.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
Was it the bear?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
It was Scotti and the bear, no pants on? He
took the picture. Was it post coitus?
Speaker 7 (07:12):
I don't think that that was the quitest occasion.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
It was me. It was Scotti with a bear on
his bed and he had no pants on, no.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
The pictures.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
I was going through old pictures and I found the
picture of Teddy Bear in my bedroom with me with
no pants on.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
That poor bear.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
But that wasn't me.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Can I also talk about this is the same guy
who's like, I'm not going to start an only fans
banana page, my kids will be embarrassed, but then talks
about this bear.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
I was a child.
Speaker 7 (07:42):
Every kid did something with a bear, not me.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
If I thought everyone, did I do anything with a monkey?
Speaker 8 (07:52):
I had my stuffed Curious George monkey and I never
touched it.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Everybody in this podcast asked, right now that has said
had sex with a stepped animal, say I I don't
think I did.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Start start to die.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yeah, just cut it right clear.
Speaker 7 (08:13):
I scoul impressed that memory. I don't know that it
actually happened.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Oh whatever, poor mister, that.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Poor bear should sue.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I think I need a break real Yeah, can we
take a break? Ye time, look at Scotty be did you?
Speaker 8 (08:30):
Thanks?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Andy?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Bye?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Ran after party
Hosts And Creators
Elvis Duran
Garrett
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