Sarah Reilly: The Three Key Steps to Move From Wishing to Manifesting

Everybody wants to manifest a better life. Yet why do so many people live day to day in a state of survival, wishing for better life results and not actually creating it?

This week, we're talking to our old friend Sarah Reilly to give you the three key steps to move from wishing to manifesting.

Sarah is an international performance coach for entrepreneurs, visionaries and creatives. The foundation of her work lies in unpacking subconscious programming and rebuilding your desired identity to reach what previously seemed like unobtainable levels of success.

Things discussed this week include...

• Difference between living at cause vs. at fault in your life and how knowing the difference will help you take back your power and create more of the things you want.
• Why self sabotage is just a low level way your nervous system is trying to calibrate to safety.
• How our reality is influenced by the different characters we play in different parts of our lives.
• Why your emotional reactions to life tell you what you really believe about yourself.
• The biggest misperception about confidence and the way you can create more of it within yourself.
• Why hustle and hard work can only be as effective as your mindset
• How the advice of "act as if" can be misused and actually create struggle.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Pure survival at its core is just keep eating, don't
go near anything new, don't do anything different day near
a heat source, you know, keep your shields up. So
if you just sort of switch off mentally and let
your system drive you, it's going to lead towards survival.
That's what it's designed for. Your system isn't programmed for happiness,
it's programmed for survival. So unless you make deliberate decisions

(00:20):
towards your own fulfillment, you're not going to get there.
Everybody wants to manifest a better life, but yet why
do so many people live day to day in a
state of survival, wishing for better life results and not
actually creating it. This week on the Life Amplified podcast,
we're talking to our old friends Sarah Riley. She's going

(00:42):
to give us the three key steps to move from
wishing to manifesting. Welcome back. What is an amplified life.
It's having amplified relationships with people who support and encourage
you to be your best. It's having amplified energy to
conquer the challenges of the day. And it's having an
amplified career, one that's meaningful to you, the world, and

(01:06):
your bank accounts. I'm Dan Mason, life reinvention coach, helping
you discover your calling and create an amplified life on
your terms. This is the Life Amplified Podcast. We are
back from a quick summer break and ready to serve.
Hello and welcome to a new season of Life Amplified.

(01:28):
From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much
for being here. And I could think of no better
way to kick off this next season than with somebody
who is a very dear friend in my life. She
is a trusted colleague, somebody that I trust implicitly and
bring her in as a guest teacher and many of
my group coaching programs and in my Amplified monthly membership,

(01:49):
and somebody who I believe can speak to one of
the biggest questions that I get on social media. You know,
when people aren't asking me specifically about career transition, they
talk a lot about this idea of manifesting. And you know,
at least once a week, twice a week, I'll get
an email or a d M from somebody saying, Dan,
what does it mean when I'm doing the work and

(02:13):
I'm actually manifesting the complete opposite of the things that
I want. So I want to share with you just
a place that I operate from in my life, and
this is a foundation of what we believe in my
coaching practice. You always get what you want. You always
get what you want. The challenge is this when it

(02:34):
comes to manifesting. Many times people do not own the
things that they want. They're afraid to ask for more.
Sometimes you're not fully telling yourself the truth about the
things you want, and occasionally there is a part of
you that believes that it is unsafe, that it is
a threat either to your sense of safety or to

(02:55):
your very identity to have the things that you want.
So before we can create a vision board or start
a visualization, we've got to get aligned internally so that
you can move from a state of wishing and hoping
into manifesting. This week, Sarah Riley is going to help
us get there. She is an international performance coach for entrepreneurs, visionaries,

(03:19):
and creatives. The foundation of her work lies and helping
you unpack subconscious programming and rebuilding your desired identity to
reach what previously seemed like unattainable levels of success. We
have an awesome conversation here that I think you're going
to get so much out of Some of the topics
we're going to cover are the difference between living at

(03:40):
cause versus at fault in your life and how knowing
the difference will help you take back your power and
create more of the things you want. We'll talk about
why self sabotage is actually just a low level way
that your nervous system is trying to calibrate the safety.
We'll discuss how our reality is in fluence by the

(04:00):
different characters we play in different parts of our lives.
Sarah will explain why your emotional reactions to life tell
you what you really believe about yourself. We'll talk about
the biggest misperception about confidence and the number one way
that you can create more of it within yourself, why
hustle and hard work can only be as effective as

(04:22):
your mindset, and how the advice of act as if
can be misused and actually recreate an experience of struggle. Plus,
if you stick around to the end of the podcast,
Sarah and I are making a special invitation for a
very limited number of Life Amplified podcast listeners to work
with us one on one and especial Today immersive coaching

(04:45):
experience will tell you more about that a little bit
later on. But if you're loving this interview, could you
do me a favor please share it with a friend.
You can screenshot this podcast, upload it to Instagram or Twitter.
Be sure to tag me at c sc Dan Mason,
and you can tag Sarah at Sarah Riley Coaching. Don't forget.
You can also give us a follow here on whichever

(05:07):
podcast app that you're listening on, and if you're so
moved to do it. We love those five star ratings
and reviews and will gladly accept those. You are getting
a crash course and manifesting the life you want this
week on Life Amplified, Sarah Riley live from Lockdown in Sydney, Australia.

(05:29):
Welcome back to Life Amplified. Thank you so much, good
to be here. I love this podcast. All the talk
about manifesting today, and yet you haven't been able to
manifest like just an open and open state of living
in your home city. How are you navigating the treachery
of being at home all the time. There's bold of
you to assume I didn't manifest the lockdown intentionally. Maybe

(05:51):
I'm just a massive homebody. You're like, why didn't you
manifest and into the lockdown. Maybe this is my big
evil plan. No. Um, I am surviving, to be honest,
little bit of cabin fever, but I am blessed to
have good people around me and plenty to do with
clients and work and stuff. So feeling pretty grateful actually
that I work online and that I'm self employed, and
so you know, having been working on Zoom for many

(06:12):
years before the pandemic means it wasn't too much of
a change. I just lost the social aspect a little bit.
But the cafe across the road from my new apartment
does the world's best sandwiches. So again, very grateful, yes,
and by the way, a seminal moment here in life amplified.
You were the first guest to appear three times. Congratulations. Amazing.
It's one of my favorite podcasts, and um, we always

(06:33):
get a really positive response when we have these chats,
so I'm stoked to be here. So Sarah and I
are business running buddies, and sometimes we put together offers
together and we come up with some programs. But we
were talking about something that happens a lot within both
of our client rosters, and I think people will relate
to this today that there's this big idea among many

(06:55):
people that well, you know, I'm working on manifesting this thing.
The lguaging is very work and laborious, and I have
to do all these things in order to manifest, which
is you and I talk about privately, and I've talked
about a little bit on this podcast in the past.
That's not really the way it works, that manifesting. It's

(07:17):
just the natural order of the universe. So do you
want to explain why anybody who believes that they're in
the process of manifesting, why this podcast is going to
give them some new insights and maybe some ajas and
breakthroughs today. Yeah. Absolutely, I think the idea like when
we say I am manifesting, I mean, that's a bit

(07:37):
of a misnomer and it's a bit redundant to say that,
because manifestation is actually just the name of the phenomenon
that your world is a projection of your internal reality.
It's just it refers to the phenomenon that you are
impacting the atomic activity around you and then filtering it
via your neural connections. So it's like to say I'm
manifesting is redundant. I think what people are trying to
say is that I'm I'm attempting to intentionally steer the

(08:00):
manifestation somewhere I want it now in this current adult
rational brain, right, as opposed to the automatic, subconscious re
representation of my old wants and desires. Right, Like, your
whole reality is a reflection of your identity. So you're
manifesting twenty four hours a day. It's not something that
you can switch off. It's just that the vast majority
are unconscious subconscious. It's you know, your old wants and needs.

(08:24):
So your reality is reflecting what you sort of at
your base level want or and or can tolerate. Um.
But I think there isn't today's podcast is going to
be really valuable for people is that we've I've seen
a bit of a phenomenon where people say that they're
manifesting things, but what they're really doing is deciding on things,
wishing for things, thinking about things that might be nicer

(08:47):
or worse. They're sort of lamenting the lack of things.
And there's a big difference between wishing and manifesting. Manifesting
is actually conscious, intentional directed manifesting is actually more tangible
than I think people realize, and we're going to talk
about some nuance in that today that I think will
be really really beneficial to help people understand because it
can be a very vague and esoteric kind of topic.

(09:09):
I want to go backwards before we move forwards, because
you said something that I think is important in terms
of everything that is happening internally in our mind is
what's being projected outwards. There is this idea that manifesting
is only the process that occurs when I'm getting all
the cool things that I want in my life, when
I have the money and the account, when I have

(09:31):
the dream relationship, when everything in the world externally is
meeting my expectations. Yet when we don't have the money
in the bank, or when we don't have the dream job,
or when our kids are our partner or you know,
being a pain in the ass, we don't believe that

(09:51):
that's a manifestation. In fact, we're very much in a
place of blame. You know, well, that had nothing to
do with me. If if my company appreciated me and
make more money. So let's just go back for a second,
because that's so important. Manifestation is everything both the things
that you believe that you're working toward, but more specifically,

(10:13):
what's in your life right now, desirable or not? Yeah,
And I mean we're getting into dangerous territory with this
because this is the kind of this is the polarizing
and more triggering aspect of manifestation, right, because I think
that's what steers people away from really going for their dreams,
is that if they admit to having some level of
influence or control over their reality, then there's a misperception

(10:36):
there that they will be blamed for anything bad that happened. Right,
And this is where what's important is that we understand
the difference between at cause and at fault. My most
common example for this that all of my clients have
heard is the idea that if I invited you to
come stay at my house and while you were asleep,
you stepped on my laptop and you broke it. Right,
it's true, just like you were sleepwalking. Just to be clear,

(10:58):
it's true that you are at cause for my broken laptop.
It was your foot that went through it, right, But
it wouldn't be fair to say that you're at fault
because you were unconscious when it happened. And I like
this analogy because this is what's important to remember. It's
almost impossible for us to take the judgment and the
blame out of something. But if we can learn that
we are at cause without always necessarily being at fault,

(11:18):
I feel like it really gives us our power back.
I mean, it can be really confronting to look at
the stuff that happened in your life and be like,
I'm not you know, I don't I don't want to
be associated with that. But if we remember that our
reality is a reflection of our internal reality and it
doesn't like that concept is neutral, that concept doesn't actually
hold good or bad or anything that you would want

(11:39):
to be judged or blamed for. I truly believe it
puts us back in a really empowered situation. I mean,
I personally have been through a lot, Like I've talked
on podcasts before about the abuse that I suffered, and
I don't feel that I am at all to blame
for that abuse. But I can still hold and recognize
the influence that I have on my reality now because

(12:00):
I don't, like, we're not responsible for the stuff that
comes out subconsciously, right, but we can absolutely take responsibility
for the stuff that we are consciously choosing now and personally,
that's you know, that's given me back my power in
a myriad of ways. I think you'll have some specific examples,
because somebody right now is listening to this. So in

(12:20):
resistance to the idea, Well, yes, Sarah, screw you. I
didn't choose, of course, I didn't choose to be broke.
I didn't choose to have my partner betray me or
cheat on me. So and is loving and and gentle
of a way as we can to maybe give a
practical example of this idea of not blaming yourself but

(12:43):
also accepting responsibility for your role. Could you talk about
that maybe a time you've worked with a client and
there was an aha moment around this. Yeah, I'm so
flatter that you would invite me on and then ask
me for the loving and gentle perspective, because that's not
really that's not really what I'm known for. I'm known
for like piercing truth and like and powerful insight. But yeah,

(13:04):
I mean, bless you for thinking that I could bring
that option as well. Yeah, sorry, I thought I could
manifest a different a different version. Yes, now I appreciate that. Okay, Yeah,
how do we want to come at this look your
example there was really sterling. When you say, well, it's
I didn't choose to be broke, I want to sort
of like turn that example on its head a little bit,

(13:25):
because no one would choose consciously to be a thing that,
in truth is hurting them in some way. But the
way I want to look at it is, Okay, you
didn't choose to be broke, but can your nervous system
hold great wealth right? Do you have the reference files,
the comfort level, the training, and all of the acceptance
that goes along with having that. Because many of us

(13:47):
grew up not wealthy, not wealthy at all, And what
was implied through our relationships with our parents and the
people that we want to maintain approval with is that
you know, there may not have even been actual merit
applied to being poor, but a lot of the time
there was some real evil connotations around wealth. I mean,

(14:07):
we grew up like think about Disney even you know
ebony is a scrooge. The good people were the ones
who were struggling, and the wealthy people were cold and
alone and selfish and had to be confronted with ghosts
to make them do the right thing right, Like it's
in our culture, and it was certainly in the house
I grew up in. Wealthy people were to a certain
extent demonized. I mean, of course, the goal is to

(14:27):
go after and get money. But if wealthy people are
not loved and accepted for their wealth in your in
your tribe, and your household in your community, then your
system is not going to go for that naturally because
it perceives that that will cost you the connection. So
it's not as simple as I wouldn't choose to be broke, No,
it's your nervous system will choose whatever reality gives you

(14:49):
the best shot at maintaining connection, because connection is directly
related to survival. So if we can sort of turn
some of these examples on their head, it can be
a little bit easier for someone to digest. I mean,
like your other example, I didn't choose to be betrayed. No,
But do you like what's your self image? I mean,
what's the self image you're projecting. Do you know of
yourself as someone who is infinitely loved, supported, guided? Do

(15:12):
you know of people as wonderful, caring? Right? Like, your
reality will reflect what you know, because that's what your
neurological filters are filtering by So it's not that you
chose to be betrayed. But if you can, if you
can look at it from the perspective of, well, what
must I have believed up until now that my reality
would be playing out this way, it can be a
little bit more palatable. I think of an example in

(15:34):
my group coaching program in the monthly membership with somebody
who's talking on one hand consciously about wanting to find
an available man, yet her experience on the dating apps,
she would go back to the story of, well, everybody's
out to lie to you. Everybody just wants one thing. Yeah. Yeah,
that is the reality that always has to win out.

(15:56):
Your vibration will always win out, whether it's a high
vibration or coming from a place of scarcity or a
lower frequency, but it's always going to win at the
end of the day. Yeah. And if we look at
it more as calibrating the self sabotaging, it starts to
make a lot more sense, because most people would say, I,
I had something really amazing with this person and then

(16:17):
I self sabotaged, right, But you didn't. I mean, people
are starting to wake up to the idea that nobody
gets up in the morning and wants to mess up
all their chances at what they want. Right. So, self
sabotage is also a bit of a misnomer, but if
you look at it through the lens of calibration, it
starts to make sense. If you know that people are
untrustworthy and you have to do everything yourself and you
can't rely on people and you are ultimately if you

(16:37):
have that perception of yourself as alone, then of course
you would take action to regenerate that reality. When someone
comes in and they're trying to be loving and supportive
and kind and it looks like they're actually not going
to leave you, you're probably going to do something to
mess that up. Not because you're trying to hurt yourself,
but because your system is still following that set of
rules for reality and it's trying to calibrate back to

(16:57):
that because it mistakenly believes that that's your way to safety.
And this really leads us into the first point, and
when we get into these three components, to move from
wishing to manifesting, and that is your identity. And I
think a lot of people hear that word and they
get it from a dictionary standpoint, they know what it means,

(17:19):
they might know the definition, but from a personal development standpoint,
they don't really understand what we're talking about. So how
could you boil that down into a simple way when
we're talking about this idea manifesting how our identity plays
into this. Yeah, it's I'm reminded of the fish joke,

(17:39):
you know, the other sea creature swims up to the
fish and he says, isn't the water lovely today? And
the fish says, what's water? Right? Like, if it's something
that's such a default setting, such an assumption, it's so
deeply buried in our subconscious we're not even aware of it.
And for most people, I don't think most people are
aware that their personality is not a fixed thing. Right.
Science doesn't support the idea of a personality as a
fixed instant because humans are such incredibly adaptive creatures. Right.

(18:03):
So when people then say to you, Okay, well your
reality is a reflection of your identity, You're like, but
that's just who I am, And that doesn't make any
sense unless I have the context of my personality being
something I've chosen and the fact that I have many
different ones, and the fact that I am a naturally
adaptive creature who will generate whichever ones I need, Right,
Like I created versions of myself as a child in

(18:24):
order to please my parents. I'm a different person at
home alone versus when I'm with people I don't know,
versus with people I know very well, Versus people I'm
intimately connected with, Versus people I want to respect me professionally. Right,
we have these are egoing layers, costumes characters that we play.
So if you recognize that your reality is being influenced
by the character that you're playing, and that your neurological

(18:46):
filters are filtering based on the rules and beliefs of
the identity you're running, and you start to think of
your personality is more like a gaming cartridge. Right, You're
the game, You're not the PlayStation. Right, then you can
recognize Oh, okay, well, yeah, when I was being someone
that was very focused on everything that could hurt me,
and I was being very fearful, and I was being
very you know, very focused and pouring tons of psychic

(19:08):
energy into this idea that I'm in danger. Yeah, there
were a lot more things in my life that I
had to protect myself from in the same way that
when I am hyper focused on scarcity, I never seemed
to be able to get my bank balance up. And
this is why Joda spends it talks about the idea
that if you cannot think beyond that initial emotional reaction,
if you can't get beyond your limbic system there and choose,
then you're always going to be stuck in that loop.

(19:30):
You know, I just did a coaching call yesterday with
somebody who one of her goals was to lose twenty
pounds and she had lost fifty probably over the course
of the last year. It just gained and lost the
same ten over and over, but eventually she dropped the
way that would go right back up and the identity
that she was living in. You probably heard this as well.

(19:51):
I just have a sweet tooth. I love junk food,
And there's that dissonance between I want to be healthy,
I wish I were healthy, but how I perceived myself.
I believe my personality is that someone who loves junk food.
And you know, within thirty minutes we got to the
core of what was going on growing up as a child.

(20:12):
If she felt unsafe, she would run to her father,
who didn't know how to create an emotionally safe environment
for a child to process difficult feelings, so he would
just give her junk food. Oh yeah. Kyle Seas tells
a similar story about how he would go to the
donut shop with his mother and so whenever he was
feeling like he needed connection, he would experience a sugar

(20:32):
craving because his system was going for the donuts that
had associated with the special time with a loved one. Yeah,
so you know, in there there's this perceived identity, because
that's what we're really talking about. Your the identity that
you think you have is probably not who you are
at a spiritual level unless you've done a lot of
internal work. But the stories are what's holding you back.

(20:54):
But those are simply reactions and coping mechanisms to old
trauma and unmitte. Yeah, if you if you start to
look at it through the lens of well, if my
body is just following the rules that I give it,
then I have the option to change the rules. And
also this allows us to get outside of this old
misperception that we're being betrayed by our body in some way.
I think most women have felt extremely frustrated that they

(21:15):
feel like they're doing all of the work too, for example,
lose weight, and their body is not complying. It's not
playing the game. It's not getting on board with them,
you know. And we can get the sense of betrayal, which,
as you can imagine, really compounds the issue. But when
we start to look at it like, well, actually, my
body is just following the rules that I've set for it,
and unfortunately or fortunately the rules that I set were

(21:37):
at a previous time in my life where my my
outcome was different. So I like to say, there's nothing
wrong with people. They're not broken. It's just that the
system is adapted to a different set of rules in
a different outcome. And if your environment has changed, or
if you've personally changed the goal posts e g. You
want to be smaller, you want to be fitter, then
you've got to like change the rules and then give
your body a little bit of time to adapt to
the new rules. It will do it. I mean, it

(21:58):
adapted to the old rule. So it's actually the fact
that it follows your old rules. If you know of
yourself as someone who has weight to lose, it's not
surprising that your body, whenever you lose it puts it
back on, because it's just trying to calibrate to your
understanding of yourself. You're someone who needs to lose ten pounds,
for example, Well you can't be someone who needs to
lose ten pounds and be someone who's lost the ten

(22:20):
pounds at the same time. So you've got to pick
an identity here. And the same holds true for money,
which is why most lottery winners are broke within three
to five years. The number and the bank account change,
but you still believe that you are a person who
is poor or it struggles with money. Yeah, so all
roads kind of lead back to who you are at

(22:41):
the identity level. Yeah. This one was a really powerful
example for me on the on the money one because
when I learned that a lotto winners are poor again,
because when I started really researching that, it was a
case of okay, So if your identity is as a
person who struggles financially, then actually that money is a
huge threat to that identity. And I don't think people

(23:01):
understand the impact of that. Your identity is constructed of
all of your coping strategies and all the things you
have learned to do that your system thinks you need
to do to stay alive. So it's a question of motivation.
You want more money because you want to go do
more fun things, but your system believes that if you
if you sacrifice this identity, you could die. Right, And
then it's sort of it's like the difference between foxes
and rabbits. Right, the rabbit can run away from the fox,

(23:24):
even though the fox has a greater land speed, because
the rabbit has a higher motivation. The rabbit is running
for its life. The fox is just running from meal. Right,
Your subconscious truly believes that you need to keep doing
this stuff or you might die. You're just trying to
do stuff that you think will be fun and a
bit more relaxing, like the motivation. The conflict there is
is insane. So now that we've thoroughly bummed everybody out, yeah,

(23:49):
I know, it always starts off so depressing. You're like, listen,
this is how bad it really is. But for the
six people who haven't already given up and punched out
on the podcast, sort of refocus the conversation where we
move because but this is really important because there can
be no transformation where there isn't awareness. And something that

(24:12):
I've been talking a lot about in my group coaching program.
Is you know, we know in quantum physics that all matter,
you know, just sort of exists, That all the atoms
that make up matter just exists. Is waves of mathematical probability.
It's only when atoms are observed that they start to
behave differently, They actually behave according to the judgments and

(24:37):
the preconceptions of the observer. So this is what we've
learned from quantum physics level. So but why that applies
here is simply understanding your patterns or understanding the stories
that you've told yourself that are in conflict with the
results that you want is enough to start to shift
the energy around the pattern. So that's why we sort

(24:58):
of start out here. I mean it might sound like
a downard to start, but it gets better. Yeah. I mean,
you can't make a change unless you know where you
are to start with, because if you didn't know where
you were to start where, you wouldn't be able to
tell if you liked it or not, or if it
was working for you or not. So understanding like the
like starting to really identify, well, who do I think
I am? Like? How would I describe myself? Like, if

(25:19):
I was introducing myself to a new person, what sort
of things do I typically fall back on? You'd be
surprised how many of them are really unhelpful. Like, you know,
people will say things like, well, I'm just I'm very shy,
and I can't do conflict and I'm not good at
this and stuff like that. These are all stories, and
you know they're so I don't want to say widen
because thanks to neuroplasticity, nothing is permanently widened. But we've

(25:40):
repeated them so often that we have such a strong
connection for them that they feel so true to us.
And because our system is so heavily invested in maintaining
that identity, that glob of coping strategies, we actually experienced
quite a bit of discomfort when we're asked to acknowledge
that it's effectively a story we've been telling for a
long time, right, Like the system has you know, steaks

(26:01):
and this, it has skin in the game. It doesn't
want you to get let go of this, and so
you're going to feel a bit of discomfit, some cognitive dissonance,
you know, the psychological pain of conflicting information. You're going
to feel that and the more you can just resign
yourself to the fact that this is going to be
a bit uncomfortable at the start, the more progress you
can make. I always say people's progress speed depends on
the amount of discomfort they can tolerate in the shortest

(26:22):
space of time. So once we move out of this
idea of building awareness around our identity and where that
might be out of alignment, then we have to get
into talking about reactions. That's the second point. Explain what
do we mean by that reactions are super important when
I'm doing any type of manifestation training because, to be honest,

(26:42):
they out you your reactions really belie what you said
you believe, right Like I have people who are saying
that I, you know, I've been manifesting this, this and this,
and I'm like, okay, but the last time I was
with you, when you opened up that bill, you like
you got all panicky and you were super like freaked out,
right Like, your reaction to something tells us what you

(27:03):
really believe, right Like I remember when I decided first
for myself to change my money story, I didn't go
with any like really fancy affirmations because words like abundance
don't have any real meaning to me. I'm from quite
a low socio economic area, and you know, they're just
big words associated with wealth, just don't they have no
resonance in my system. And so when I first decided
to change my money story, it was as simple as

(27:25):
my business does five figures a month and it's not
related to how many hours I work. That was basically it.
And then the evening after I had my big breakthrough
moment about what I'd been doing and how I've been
living and all the rest of it, and it was,
you know, it was all very dramatic. The very next morning,
the first I was sit down to my laptop with
my cup of coffee, and the very first email I
opened was a credit card bill, and of course, the

(27:46):
you know, the pain starts coming up through my chest
and all the anxiety starts, and the thoughts about oh
my god, what are we gonna do? Start And I
actually had to just push the laptop back and I'm like, no, no,
yesterday we made a decision. We're not being that person anymore. Right.
So I could feel my sister them wanting to recalibrate
and divert back to the old scarcity mindset, and I
just had to be like, no, we're not doing that.

(28:06):
So I'm gonna do my breathing exercises, I'm going to
do my know, my anti anxiety exercises. I'm going to
wait until this sort of like dumb, you know, sort
of dulls down. And I honestly had to sit there
with I pushed the laptop back, I pushed myself back
on the couch, I crossed my legs, I did my
my exercises to calm myself down, and then I was like, Okay.
What we decided was that the business does five figures

(28:27):
a month every month, and it's not related to how
many hours I work. So if I remember it that
I now know at least ten thousand is coming in
before the end of the month, would I still care
about this credit card bilt No. I would make the
minimum payment, whatever I can make, whatever is comfortable for
me to make, and then I would forget about it. Great,
that's the new identity, that's who I'm being. We've got
to prove that I'm actually being this because your nervous

(28:48):
system is so smart, man, it knows when you're lying.
And if you do your ten minutes of affirmations in
the morning, but the rest of the day you're reacting
as though the world is ending it knows what you
really believe. So the reactions are critical, the reactions of
the first thing that absolutely drops you in it. And
it's funny because we teach this for a living and
yet each new level for us, as we step into expansion,

(29:08):
requires us to go back and sort of look at
what's in the way. One of the things that I've
talked about on this podcast for a couple of years,
you know, I remember talking to my friend Carissa Jones.
I guess that would have been in and I was
talking about this idea of wanting to build a television
brand here in the United States, such as being a
go to expert who was in demand, who was getting

(29:31):
booked on on these big TV shows, you know, Doctor Oz,
you know Ellen DeGeneres, things like that. And even though
I consciously wanted that, I had so many stories that
were just roadblocks to getting there. I was like, well,
I'm not a big enough name. I only have followers

(29:51):
on Instagram. I need to have a seven figure business
instead of a six figure business. You know, like all
these things that were just like I'm not ready. I'm
not good enough yet, and there was not There was
no TV really happening during that time. I'd booked a
couple of things here locally in southern California, but I

(30:12):
wasn't getting any of the other stuff, and in I
did zero television. Nothing was happening until I had to
go change my identity and had to remind myself, no,
of course you have a story to share. You have
a gift that can help people. You can take really
high level concepts and explain it in a way where
anybody can get it. Of course you're in demand, which

(30:35):
I was able to will myself into getting a huge,
a huge opportunity in the city of Chicago, a big
morning TV show, did the interview, crushed it, hit it
out of the the park. I'm like home free, this is it.
Right until the next six weeks, nobody responded to any
of my pitches that I was working on with my
policyst which sent me right back to, well, I'm just

(30:57):
like the Vanilla Ice of TV guest. I have like
one good moment, you know, I had my eyes Ice baby,
Now it's all over, And I thought that that was it,
and sure enough, once of course corrected and had to
go back and just remind myself, now, this is how
we operate. I booked a major national daytime TV talk show,
one of the three highest rated, and it's just been

(31:19):
now I have TV producers reaching out and asking me
to be a guest. I'm not even really pitching that hard. Yeah,
but it was changing at the level of identity and
really managing those reactions when it wasn't happening on my
timetable or it wasn't the things that I was aggressively pursuing. Yeah,
I think you've hit on a really important point there.

(31:39):
I think some people wonder why coaches charge and packages
as opposed to individual sessions, and this is precisely why.
Right Like in in the coaching session, Yeah, you'll have
the breakthrough, you'll have the epiphany, you have the cathotic release,
and you know, all the things I sort of clumped
together as the theatrics of coaching. It's all wonderful, But ultimately,
where you actually cement that new wiring is in between
the sessions, when you're choosing differently, taking different actions, and

(32:02):
in the moment when it is the most difficult. That's
when you do the other thing, Like when you were
the most stressed about the fact that you hadn't booked
any any TV and you didn't you know, maybe your
income was reflecting that. That was that moment where you
had to do the hard thing and think and feel
beyond your initial panicked reaction, right because in that moment,
you've got to find out what you really believed. Right.
You thought after that first one, you're like, Okay, yeah,

(32:24):
I'm home free, But then your reality showed you, well, actually,
just because I get a break doesn't mean I'm home free, right,
Like that's it showed you where you were, and like
you said, you course corrected. You're like, no, no no, no,
I got this, and I've done the same thing, and
it's like it works beautifully. I mean physics. I just
said physics works beautifully. That's what a redundant thing to say,
but like it does work beautifully. Like I've found that

(32:46):
because my system knows that I my business always does
minimum five figures a month. If I have a week
where three weeks go by and none of my client
payments or do or anything like that, it course corrects
on its own. Because I have that baseline identity, I'll
do like a massive amount the following month or the
previous month, and it basically just all balances itself out.

(33:07):
One of the other things before we move on to
the third point is we talk about this idea of reactions.
How much does the self judgment of comparing yourself to
other people completely f this up for people? I know
that was a challenge for me. I had spent a
bunch of money. I was in this publicity coaching program
earlier this year and I had one of the big

(33:29):
you know, I was one of the first to land
like a major TV spot. Then nothing happened for six weeks,
and I'm watching everyone else, you know, getting Forbes magazine
or somebody who ended up in like sixty minutes or
like one of those, and I'm like, well, there it is.
It's not for me. Everybody else gets it, not me.
But it was really based in that idea of comparison.

(33:51):
How do we shift out of that, because I think
that that's another one that just reinforces when we see
other people who have the thing that we want, it
can send us back into the stories of why I'm
not enough to happen for me. My answer for that
is that the ego, the voice in your head is
going to use whatever works on you. If comparison absolutely
like just forces you back into that shame spiral. If

(34:13):
it if it helps you calibrate back to your old
identity and your old beliefs the fastest, then that's what
it's going to use. Some people's egos, like center on fear.
Some people's egos center on shaming and self flagellation. Some
of them center on comparison. It's going to use whatever worked.
The thing is the ego. These ego aglayers are super
smart because they have access to all of your memories
and all of your pain points, and it's all happening

(34:35):
within you. Right, So if you're if your ego knew that, well,
if I say to her, if she goes for her dreams,
tigers will leap out of the wardrobe and devour her immediately. Right,
it knows that's not going to work on me. I
don't believe for a second that would happen, So I
would rush towards all of the new stuff, and the
egos only method of keeping you stuck is too you know,
it's it's only method of quote unquote protecting you is

(34:57):
keeping you stuck on the programs that haven't killed you
up until now. But that's not people's life standard, right.
You don't just want to do stuff where you don't die.
You want to do amazing stuff. So it knows that.
And for the people that suffer from comparison, your ego
has learned that it works on you. So if that's
the first thing that pops up, you know they're doing better.
It happens for everybody else. Look how easy it is
for them. You'll never be at their level. The bottom

(35:19):
line is you change your system that this is a
method that will work on you. And so the way
to get around it is one of your favorite things
to teach on disconfirming experiences is to hear it, recognize it,
and do the opposite. Anyway to train your system that actually,
you're not going to die if you move forward, and
also simultaneously that this particular threat is no longer going

(35:40):
to work on you. Yeah, And that is actually a
beautiful point to lead us here into the third element
of moving from wishing to manifesting. We've talked about recognizing
what your identity is at the subconscious level. We've talked
about managing your reactions, but as we talk about creating
disconfirming experiences. It's really about the third step, which is action.

(36:04):
Talk to me about that. Chat me up. Well. The
difference between the version of you that has everything they
want and you now is that that version of you
is making different decisions and taking different actions. They're doing
the things that generate all the stuff that you want,
right Like, you're making the decisions for yourself based on
what you believe, but that version of you clearly believes

(36:24):
different things because they're making they're they're doing different things.
People will often say, oh, I'm not going to get
a coach yet because I know what I have to do.
You know, I'll do the mindset work later. I know
what I have to do. But truly, the decisions that
you make, you're making them from the information that you have,
and the information that you have is limited by your filters,
which is limited by who you think you are and
what you currently believe. So until you sort of expand

(36:46):
those parameters and still you until you widen that smalllest board,
you're limited to choosing only those few options items, et
CETERA biggest BS story that I know that I come across.
I'd probably use this in the past. I'm not getting there,
And I know a lot of clients use it's I
don't feel ready. They believe that, right, They believe that

(37:07):
there's going to be a magic day when the sun
is shining and the angels come down from the sky,
blowing on a trumpet, rolling out a red carpet for
you to move in the direction of your dreams, and
you were going to feel so at peace and inspired
and aligned, and there's going to be no fear when

(37:28):
you move forward. But it's that idea of that you
can be ready without feeling like you're ready. Yeah, how
do we breage that gap into action when we're paralyzed? Yeah,
this come down to training in terms of understanding your
nervous system and what it feels like to actually live
as opposed to exist. Your soul is housed in a
threat detector that gets sit off anytime you introduce something

(37:50):
that does not have a pre existing reference file. So
you have got to first of all, just resign yourself
to the fact that you're going to feel discomfort when
you move because you are supposed to actual living. You
feel that, right, We've been so trained towards comfort, and
really comfort is just a form of numbness. If you're
saying that I Am not going to move until it
doesn't hurt to move it or it you know, I

(38:12):
don't feel the butterflies or the nausea or the shaking hands,
or the or the doubt or the imposter syndrome. You're
basically saying I'm not going to move like that won't happen.
Like I said, you're encased in a threat detector. Anytime
you do anything different, you will set it off. So
the idea is to start to learn, okay, like this
is why I run a group program and one of
the modules the Secrets of the Empowered Nervous System. And

(38:32):
the whole reason I teach this is that if you
want to change things in your life, you're going to
feel it. The idea that you know, there's there's a
bit in the personal development world about this idea that
everything should be tiptoing through the tulips, right like it's
supposed to be. You're running in a in a field
full of sunflowers if you're doing the right thing. And
oh my god, I have a T shirt that says

(38:52):
I your love and Light, and I wear it to
coaching calls from time to time. And it was. It
was a very easy purchase for me, to be honest,
this t shirt. Get them at threads of Fake dot com.
By the way, if you're into it, I'm not paid
for that shout out. I just love their stuff. But anyway, um,
it's you're going to feel it actual living. You can
feel it. You're supposed to feel your nervous system. You
are in a body, but we have so many dead

(39:14):
zones in this This driver for a numbness because the
system is like like pure survival at its core is
just keep eating, don't go near anything new, don't do
anything different, stay near a heat source, you know, keep
your shields up. So if you just sort of switch
off mentally and let your system drive you, it's going
to lead towards survival. That's what it's designed for. Your
system isn't programmed for happiness. It's programmed for survival. So

(39:37):
unless you make deliberate decisions towards your own fulfillment, you're
not going to get there. Right. Also, I just want
to take two seconds to say a word on confidence,
because people say I'll do something in the same vein
when I feel more confident. The sensation of confidence in
the body is literally you're the product of your brain
asking itself to questions, have we done this before and
did it go well? Right? If you don't get a

(39:59):
year for both of those, you will not register the
sensation of confidence. So the idea that you can't do
a new thing until you feel confident is ridiculous. You
will feel confident because you did it so many times
and you didn't die. That's basically it. I mean when
I when I took up snowboarding, I had some horrific crashes.
I have compacted my spine so loudly and so badly
that I heard it through my padded helmet, and like

(40:23):
I like, I've done the scorpion, you know when your
feet come over the back of your head and you
hit yourself in the head with your own snowboard. I
have had some horrific accidents, and after those accidents, my
body knew you've got a good chance of dying doing
this spot because you're not good at it right. And
so for like three months, every time I got on
the chair lift every morning, like deliberately training my system
that this was going to be okay. I was sick
as a dog on the chairlift every morning, I would

(40:45):
I couldn't even talk. I was dating someone at the time.
We'd go snowboarding together. We'd be sitting on the chairlift.
He'd be all chirpy and excited because he loves snowboarding
because he was good at it, and I would just
be hanging over the armrest, just trying not to vomit
through my like the windshield on my face. Like I
was just like, because my system was like we might die.

(41:06):
I bought the world's slowest, most tech free snowboard and
deliberately came down the mountain as slow as possible to
completely destroy the option for a major crash for several
months to make my system learn that we weren't going
to die doing this. And that's like, I'm not saying
that all of the changes will always take you three months.

(41:27):
I mean it took me three months because I seriously
probably could have died from some of these crashes and
it was a major trauma. But bottom line is, your
system is going to feel confident about something if you
prove to it that it won't kill you. So if
you haven't done the thing before, the idea that you
won't start until you already feel the confidence as a
personal soapbox topic of mine. You've got to put that
whole idea in the bin, otherwise you're just not going

(41:48):
to make change. The nervous system is shown tell yes absolutely.
And that's the same with wiring, right like you get
your wiring through proving you believe something. And what is
that you believe something is the action. That's where it's
The third topic for us today is that we know
what you really believe by what you do. If you
say you want a loving relationship but you don't do

(42:09):
the work to participate in it, we know what you
really want. Devil's advocate. Because I always like to think
of this from the perspective of the of the cynic
listening today, or the person who is doing the best
with what they know but it's still not working for them.
There is somebody listening today who was saying, but I've

(42:29):
done the actions. I've tried to put myself out there
to launch a business. I have applied to thirty seven
jobs this month, Dan and Sarah, I have been on
all the dating apps, and I am putting myself out there.
Yet I here, I am hanging out with my cat

(42:51):
eating Ben and Jerry's on a Friday Night because the action.
I think a lot of people start with the actions
without addressing the other two points that we talked about.
And this really is it's I mean, it's not like
these principles are independent of each other and stand on
their own. It really is a flow in the process, right, Yes,

(43:12):
and they're in order. And I'm so glad you brought
this up because this is one of my favorite topics
to talk about, is how this action is like co
opted by the ego. Right. I've had clients say that
to me as well, like they're like, I'm in a
job and I want to start my own business. But
the last time I quit my job to start my
own business, I didn't get any any clients and then
I had to come back to my job with my
tail between my legs, and now I'm too scared to

(43:34):
do it. And I'm like, yes, this is what happens
when you take action from the old identity, you're reality
like nothing stronger than that projection. Right. The environment bends
to the identity, which is why shifting the identity and
learning about your coding and your programming first is absolutely critical.
If you go and if you say like people who
say I put myself out there, and you know, I

(43:54):
tried dating and it was just you know, and and
let me guess it followed all of your pre existing beliefs.
How how predictable, right, Like, if you go into the
dating world from the idea that I'm not good enough,
that men are trash, that women are crazy, that whatever, like,
your experience of reality is going to bend to your programming,
because it must not, just because you're influencing the atomic

(44:16):
activity around you and therefore the only people coming into
your orbit are people that fit your story, But your
neurological filters are filtering out anyone who doesn't fit your story.
Out of all the billions of bits of data surrounding
you at any given time, it's got to filter it
down to an amount you can handle. And when I
say the stuff you can handle, it's not just the volume.
It's like your system won't introduce information that conflicts with

(44:38):
your programming because it believes that that's a threat to you.
So basically, if you don't shift the coding first, you're
taking all of that program into the environment. And of
course the environment, of course the reality is conforming to
your stories. So I would never recommend someone quit their
job before changing their coding around how they get money.
If you know that you only get money from a job,

(44:59):
don't drop the job until you've changed that belief, because
what happened what will happen is the reality will conform
to it. And basically, you drop the job and your
income will drop. If you recognize that actually money doesn't
come through a job, that's just the only conjuit you've
been prepared to accept up until now. Then when you
drop that particular conjuit, the money will come from somewhere else.

(45:20):
But your nervous system is controlling like how much you
can hold and what you can hold, and everything will
conform to that reality. So your point is so valid.
People start with the action, and I don't recommend starting
with the action. I recommend taking a really bird's eye
view in a bit of a philosophical perspective too. Okay,
if my reality has panned out this way so far,
what is the programming that's controlling that? And that's why

(45:43):
you want to dig deep into the coding first and
find out what are the rules that my reality is
actually conforming with. Does that make sense absolutely? I mean,
I think about where I damn near bankrupted myself. When
I left corporate to start my business. Is I I
was working from a model of reality that said I
can outwork everybody else. Seriously. I mean that was sort

(46:06):
of like what I got from my dad growing up,
is you gotta work hard, you gotta work hard. I
had two jobs when I was sixteen years old, you know,
in addition to go into high school. I would just
like literally leave class at like three pm on a Friday,
bad groceries till nine pm, then go drive to some
job where I was working midnight to six am. Like

(46:27):
it was obscene for a sixteen year old. But I
got so much praise and my family was proud of me,
and I got money for it, and it was sort
of cool because one of my jobs was on the radio,
so that looked cool to my friends. And I brought
that belief system into launching a business. And I had
not addressed any of the reasons that I felt like

(46:51):
like I had not addressed any of the internal work, right,
there was still a part of me that wanted to hide,
that didn't really know if I like, who am I
to want help people? But I invested all this money
into marketing coaches and people who would help me build
the right like sales funnels and learn Facebook ads and

(47:12):
write the right copy. And I did all those things.
I've spent like fifteen thousand dollars and Facebook ads and
marketing copy and didn't get one client. Yeah, so many
coaches say that exact same thing. They're like, I'm spending
twelve hours a day at my laptop. Because if you
come from the employment world, then you are like if
you if you come from a nine to five to

(47:32):
a certain extent, you are being paid for simply your
presence and sitting at the computer. Right, everybody knows, like
the studies are extensive, no one doing eight hours a
day nine traditional nine to five is actually working eight
hours a day. The average is about three. Right, But
what you're but you're paid eight hours a day because
you showed up eight hours a day regardless of what
you're doing. And when you're self employed, the model is

(47:52):
completely different. No one's supervising you, no one's checking on you.
Your at home with your computer and actually the only
stuff that's going to work is the stuff that moves
the need. But people will be showing up for eight
hours of twelve hours sometimes It's like so many people
say I went self employed because I wanted to stop
doing so much crap I didn't care about, and I'm
doing way more stuff now I work. They say I

(48:12):
work harder for myself than I ever did for an employer.
And I'm like, okay, but are you doing the work
or are you just making yourself set at your laptop
for twelve hours a day because that's the model that
worked before and talking about actions then when things wouldn't
work out, I was like, well, I'm just not manifesting
the clients correctly. So if I sit here and I
just meditate more, but I would be so exhausted that

(48:35):
I would sit to meditate and within like three minutes
like fall into our ecalypsy and like wake up an
hour later on the couch. Well, like that was a
great map. But all right, check my email. Well, clearly
I took this time to manifest air quotes. Let's see
if I have any client applications. No, still nothing, but
there's a whole bunch of bills that just came in. Yes. Absolutely.

(48:59):
I remember someone saying to me a while ago, like
I've been manifesting X, Y and Z in for the
last six months, wire isn't it here? And I said,
what have you been doing? And they said, what do
you mean? And like? And I was like, well, if
you had actually been manifesting a different intentional reality, you
would have been doing many different like actions, reactions, mental
processes and stuff during the day, Like what's been different

(49:21):
about your life in the last six months. It turns
out they hadn't changed anything. They just decided it would
be really nice to have that, and then spent six
months lamenting the fact that they didn't. And like, you can't,
like if you're either being the person lamenting the fact
that they don't have it, or you're being the person
with it, But you can't be both of those people
at the same time. You've picked an identity, you've gone
with it, and your reality is reflecting that perfectly. You're

(49:43):
not manifesting wrong. You're getting exactly what like, the reflection
of exactly what you're putting out. And I think that's
the part that can be really difficult. That's what we
said at the start, is that if you if you
recognize your own power here, then you've got to be
honest with yourself about the fact that you let yourself
ink into a lot of stories that really don't serve
you because they were comfortable or gratifying at the time. Yeah. Well,

(50:08):
for anybody listening right now, first of all, whose mind
is just spinning, going, well, this all sounds really complicated
and I'm never going to figure it out. Sarah and
I are going to make an invitation here in just
a moment, will tell you about something cool where you
can actually spend two days working with us, both with
an at home virtual retreat. But I want to go
back to one more point that I think is that

(50:29):
we're doing a disservice if we don't talk about this
and it falls in line with the actions, but actions
being aligned with the identity. There are so many people
that are like uh, Sarah Dan, Well, if I had
half a million dollars in the bank, of course I
would just go out and buy whatever I wanted. Right,

(50:51):
So I am manifesting by the fact that I don't
have all that money, but payday is here and I
am behaving like the person who is rich. So therefore
I'm spending my entire paycheck within the first seventy two hours. Yeah,
and this is how I am manifesting my wealth. Can
we can we talk for a second about why that

(51:11):
is such a poor life strategy and why you're not
really manifesting. Yeah. Well, first of all, everybody has heard
the expression act as if right, because this is like
the key component to manifestation. But what they don't realize
is that act as if as an expression, refers to
your emotional state, not to your tasks. It's actually it's
this one cracks me out the most because the first
time I was introduced to it, it was several years ago,

(51:32):
and I was with a private client and she said, well,
if I had all of that money, I'd be in
the mall buying clothes and drinking champagne. And I was like,
how many millionaires do you see in the mall just
dumping their wealth on clothes and champagne? Like that's actually,
that is not the action of a wealthy person. That
is the action of an impoverished person who does not
believe the money will last, and so they've got to

(51:53):
burn it really quickly. If you find yourself dumping everything
in your account, two things are happening. One, you're trying
to calibrate back to strugg because you will be struggling
once you've got no resources. We live in a world
that moves on this. You need those resources. But also
you're being the person who doesn't fundamentally believe that you're
always going to have that much money if your first
instinct is to use it, Like I actually, when I

(52:15):
started studying this, I recognize this behavior in the adults
that I grew up with. Like I remember, I have
these memories of any time money came in due to
you know, whether it was gifted from a parent or
an inheritance, or whether it was you know, there was
a divorce settlement or something, the person who was the
most impoverished would run out and get everything they wanted
right that. And so we ended up with random things

(52:36):
in the house, you know, like leather jackets and TVs,
video cassette recorders built in and just stuff that we
you know, we needed food more than that, to be honest,
But like that was there was this idea, fundamental idea
is I don't always have this money, so I better
enjoy it while I've got it. Truly wealthy people that
don't have a scarcity mindset don't think for a second

(52:57):
that this money won't be there tomorrow. They know it's
going to be there forever, so there is no running
out and buying all the things they've all wanted in
the first twenty four hours. They're like, no, I can
always get whatever I want. So actually, their attitude to
money is a sort of a a calmness without any
type of franticness. It's more associated with planning about ways
to do really cool stuff. Right. So this this idea

(53:19):
of running out and dumping your paycheck, that is literally
that's your ego co opting the act as a principle
to make sure that you stay stuck in your scarcity.
Because what's going to happen after you do that is
you're going to say, see, see it doesn't work for me.
It's all a lie. Right, I quit my job and
I went and did this, and no clients came. All
the people that said that I should go after my
dreams were liars. Right, This is this is exactly how

(53:42):
the ego gets you back to it. I mean, all
the ego and stuff is a self fulfilling prophecy. Anything
your fear voice tells you is designed to create the
thing you're afraid of, because as long as you're afraid
of it happening, you'll keep taking actions that steer you
back to it, and then you always listen to the
ego because it was always right. So to recap, the
three steps are going to move you from being in
a place of wishing to manifesting anything you desire. Number One,

(54:06):
you have to understand the identity that you have, which
is difficult because that's a subconscious thing for many people.
But with support you can get clear in the models
of reality that are driving your life. Number two, we've
got to move into managing your emotional reactions and retraining
your nervous system to behave differently when things aren't going

(54:27):
your way. And then number three, once we do that,
then we take the aligned action that moves you forward
in the direction of the life you want. Which is
so interesting, Sarah, because you and I have a big
announcement to make, absolutely because this is something that we
really believe in and something we know. It makes a
huge difference. And the thing is, I mean, I don't

(54:49):
know about you, Dan, but for me, watching people take
action where they don't they are they don't know what
the concept of aligned action is. But also they haven't
done the reprogramming work to proceed it. So it's sort
of like blind action. It's just like they're just burning
time and money to doing something that's effectively going to
keep them stuck in their own loop. So it's a
real passion project for me to actually dig in and
like do that kind of reprogramming with people and help

(55:10):
them see the rules that their reality is complying with.
So I'm really excited to offer this. So, Yeah, you
have an opportunity to work with two high level coaches
for a two day at home immersive retreat. You're going
to have both Sarah and I as your coaches for
two days. Day one, Uh, Miss Sarah is taking the lead.
You're gonna do deep dive, subconscious deep programming with people.

(55:34):
Can you talk a little bit about how you can
help them in this day one of the session uncover
those models of reality that are driving their life. Yeah. Absolutely,
something I see in the personal development world a lot
that I think is misguided, as this intense focus on
just shifting beliefs and doing affirmations around um, you know
what you would like to believe without recognizing that those

(55:56):
beliefs exist for a reason, right, Like these are not arbitrary.
Your system is latched on to these ideas for a reason,
And I kind of think of it like the branches
of a tree. Right. You can prune back those branches
all you want, but if you haven't disabled the fuel source,
the roots and the trunk and the way that nutrients
are getting up, they're always going to grow back. Right.
So a lot of people have had trouble with affirmations,
you know, just repeating themselves over and over again. I

(56:17):
have a lot of money, I'm always in demand, I'm
always you know, I'm always welcome everywhere, all the rest
of it, and they wonder why it doesn't stick, And
it's because your system has a vested interest in holding
the beliefs that protect your underlying coding. So for me,
the most important thing to get into is actually, let's
dig deeper. Let's get beneath the beliefs, because those beliefs
serve a purpose and you will have them until you
don't need them anymore. And look at the actual coding,

(56:39):
the actual programming, the actual models of reality that are
controlling what beliefs you have and why, and then of
course all of the actions that you're taking subconsciously. We
also mentioned earlier that the personality from a science perspective
is really not a thing. It's not something that we're
born with or is part of our d n A.
It's a series of coping mechanisms. So over the this

(57:00):
course at the first day, and not only are you
going to help people identify those subconscious models of reality,
it's really about detaching from what you perceive your personality
to be so you can understand who you truly are. Yeah. Absolutely,
I call it loosening the screws, because if you can
start to recognize that these that there are choices involved,

(57:20):
that there is logic involved in what you've chosen why,
and that there is actually quite a complex network of
behaviors and thoughts and beliefs all tying into how you
get through the day. If you can start to actually
like separate from that, start to see it objectively, get
a bit of a bird's eye view on this structure
that you currently think of as yourself, it's a lot
easier to sort of move it to one side and

(57:42):
take a more intentional and strategic view of Okay, but
what would actually get me what I truly want? And
then day two is we move into that here and
our v I P immersion experience. I'm going to be
taking the lead, because once we destroy things that are working,
we got to rebuild right. So my work will be

(58:02):
helping you imagine new goals that are truly aligned with
this identity that you're becoming. Plus we're going to create
a structure and an implementation map so they actually start
behaving as that person, including managing your emotional reactions right,
and also just helping you come up with very specific

(58:24):
action steps that you can move towards that will help
you get the thing that you want faster. So this
day two is really about cementing those new neural pathways
so that people can move forward and do it quickly.
Super important. I think a lot of people have goals
that are sort of aligned with what they're subconscious thinks
that you have to have in order to survive, and
you wonder why that you're you're not personally very motivated

(58:46):
to do them. You know, many people say, I know
what I got to do, but I just have to
do it. If you haven't done it up until now,
I want to really introduce people to the idea that
this is not to your detriment, This is not a
judgment on you. If you haven't done it up until now,
there will be a good reason, right, there's either a
reason you're not able to take action on it because
your system believes that it is a threat, or it's like,

(59:06):
maybe it's an impotent goal. Maybe it's something that your
system doesn't act like that that you, with your rational
adult brain, doesn't actually want, and so it's hard to
get excited about, it's hard to get behind it if
you're not waking up every day with a legitimate pull
towards it. It's really worth re investigating where that goal
even came from, because I teach a lot on personally
on redefining success, because the bottom line is, like, what

(59:30):
what society tells us we should be going after is
not the same thing as our intuition is telling us.
And if there's a misalignment there, you're going to waste
a lot of time just chasing after things that really
aren't going to fulfill you and are not exciting on
the way anyway. So I know there's somebody out there
who would love to make this transition, who would love
to stop reacting to all the news of the world

(59:50):
and lockdowns and delta variants and would like to take
control and just be that person that you know you're
meant to be Sarah and I are going to help
you to day a deep dive immersion plus Sarah for
the first three people who sign up for this package.
You can get all the info at my website Creative
soul Coaching dot net. Uh we're offering three thousand dollars

(01:00:12):
in bonuses. They're going to get thirty days bonus access
to you and I on voice messaging, so it's Dan
and Sarah on demand. And we're also going to throw
in a bonus sixty minute coaching at the end of
thirty days, just to keep you aligned and that there's
accountability and keep you on track as you're moving in
that new direction. And also likely some celebrations that would

(01:00:34):
be great to hear what you did with their information,
what you did with the support and actually you know
a few few tweaks and adjustments and what you learned,
and then how can we use that as well. So
you can pay him full or you can get started
for a down payment of n dollars and we'll put
you on a payment plan after that. All the info.
If you'd like to work with us directly for two days,

(01:00:54):
you can go to Creative Soul Coaching dot net. Sarah Riley,
so good to have you back on the podcast. Where
do people find you on the socials? On the socials,
I am Sarah Riley Coaching on everything that Sarah with
an H. Riley is r E. I double l y.
I'm pretty sure everyone can spell coaching. UM. I'm most
active on Instagram. I don't use my Facebook page that much.

(01:01:17):
Facebook has become a very interesting place in the last
couple of years. I personally find Instagram is a little
bit more joyful for me personally. UM and Sarah Riley
Coaching dot com if you want to have a look
at the programs that I offer as well. Yeah, and
you'll never find either of us on TikTok because we don't.
We're terrible dancers. Quite honestly, I think nobody wants to

(01:01:38):
watch me dancing and pointing to text of how to
change your life. Nobody, No, not, no one is reaching
out to me about that. I would love to say,
you know a lot of you have really asked, like
in my d MS for me to do this. No,
none of you have. Literally no one has said, hey,
you should get on tech talk that I would be lying.
Sarah always a pleasure is so excited that we're going
to be able to just I always like working on

(01:02:00):
checks with you anyway, We've done it in the past,
and now there's going to be a huge transformation for
the people who say yes. And I appreciate your time. Amazing.
I had such a good time. Thanks for having me back.
Sarah dropped so many knowledge bombs every time she cracked
the mic. We had a great time coaching together in
my amplified monthly membership program back in July. I want

(01:02:23):
you to think about that, though, you know, are you
truly showing up in life? Is the person who has
the money, the influence, the relationship or is there part
of you that is still acting as the person who
wants to have it? That example she always shares about,
you know, going out and blowing all your money and

(01:02:44):
drinking champagne at the mall is actually a poverty mindset,
and every time she explains that, it just sort of
makes my mind blow up, right because it's so counterintuitive
to what most of us believe. But if you are
looking to step up into a new identity, if you're
ready to create more income, more love, a more passionate,

(01:03:06):
purposeful career, we've got you. We are calling it the
Quantum Shift today v I P Coaching Experience. You can
go to my website, Creative Soul Coaching dot net. You
can reserve your spot. There's opportunities there to pay in full,
or you can do it in monthly installments. All the
info is their Creative Soul Coaching dot net slash Quantum

(01:03:31):
Shift for all the info. If you love the episode,
don't forget let us know about it. Screenshot it uploaded
to Instagram. Tag Sarah at Sarah Riley Coaching, tag me
at c SC Dan Mason. Be sure to let us
know your biggest takeaways, and if you're brand new to
the podcast, give us a follow for more inspiration in

(01:03:51):
the coming weeks. From the bottom of my heart, thank
you so much for being here. It is an honor
to serve you, and don't forget it's time to turn
down the volume on your negativity and turn up the
volume on your purpose so you can live life amplified.
I'll talk to you next week.