September 6, 2019 • 33 mins
The average person spends over 90,000 hours of their life work. Let that sink in for a moment.
It's easy to think that since we spend so much time at work, that's where we should find happiness in life.
Yes, doing work that we love is important. But happiness is found in the small things in life.
This week, Dan digs deep into the scientific-backed research that shows us happiness is found in the small things. He'll also tell you what you can start doing right NOW to become 40% happier!
Topics discussed in this week's episode include?- The difference between meaning and happiness and how it relates to our work.- Questions to ask yourself as you build a career on meaning.- The importance of having positive social connections.- Why having a life focused on service to others can really bring you happiness. - How having a career that allows you to express your highest self can make your time at work joyful.- The science behind meaning and purpose, and how it adds to your overall happiness in life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Episode seventy eight, Why you should stop looking for happiness
at work. My name is Dan Mason. I was overweight,
getting divorced, battling depression, and feeling trapped in a career
where I was successful but bored and unfulfilled. And it's
actually the greatest gift I've ever been given. I used
my pain as a springboard to discover my life's purpose.
(00:23):
Now I want to share the same tools and strategies
which helped transform my life with you so you can
live life amplify. A friend of mine sent me a
parable about the eighteen forty nine gold Rush in the
email recently, and it lined up so perfectly with the
topic that I wanted to share today. So if you
don't mind, I'd like to start today with short story
(00:44):
instead of the typical quote that I use. In eighteen
forty nine, a young merchant from Boston was caught up
in the fervor of the California gold Rush. He sold
all of his possessions to seek his fortune in the
California rivers, which he was told were filled with golden
nugg It's so big that one could hardly carry them.
Day after endless day, the young man dipped his pan
(01:06):
into the river and came up empty. His only reward
was a growing pile of rocks. Discouraged and broke, he
was ready to quit until one day an experienced prospector
said to him, that's quite a pile of rocks you're
getting there, my boy. The young man replied, there's no
gold here. I'm going back home. Walking over to the
pile of rocks, the old prospector said, oh, there's gold
(01:26):
all right, you just have to know where to find it.
He picked two rocks up in his hands and crashed
them together. One of the rocks split open, revealing several
flicks of gold sparkling in the sunlight. Noticing a bulging
leather pouch fastened to the prospector's waist, the young man said,
I'm looking for nuggets like the ones in your pouch,
not just tiny flecks. The old prospector extended his pouch
(01:48):
toward the young man, who looked inside, expecting to see
several large gold nuggets. He was stunned to see that
the pouch was filled with thousands of flicks of gold.
The old prospector said, son, it seems to me you're
so busy looking for large nuggets that you're missing filling
your pouch with these precious flecks of gold. The patient
accumulation of these little flex has brought me great wealth,
(02:09):
and that's really the analogy of the story. So many
of us are like the young merchant. We're always after
that great, big of elusive gold that's going to bring
us true happiness. And more often than not, what I
find in my work is many people are looking for
that through their career. We're chasing the bigger pay raise,
the next job title, the four oh one k and
(02:30):
and when those things don't work out, typically we start
chasing a new relationship, a nicer car, or some external
measure that proves our worth and that we believe is
going to be the magic elixir for long term happiness.
And what I want to share with you this week
is some of the scientific back to research that tells
us the opposite is true, that happiness is found in
(02:51):
small flecks of gold all throughout our everyday lives. And
sometimes those little flecks are out in the open. Sometimes
they're buried in the mundane and boring rocks. But let's
give you a path to find true happiness. And perhaps
the first thing that we have to uncover. If we're
going to answer the question of what will make me happy?
Is what does happiness even mean? It's a different answer
(03:14):
for different people, And in all the research I've done
over the past few weeks, there's no consensus in the
scientific community or among any of the spiritual gurus. If
you look it up in the Oxford Dictionary, they say
happiness is the state of being happy, whatever the hell
that actually means. Miriam Webster says happiness is a state
of pleasure or contentment, which is really interesting because that
(03:38):
means happiness is not pleasure, that those are two different things.
It also means happiness is just an emotional state and
not a personality trait. So it's changeable, it's ever moving,
it's not permanent and constant. Happiness comes and goes. I
learned this firsthand last week. I was in South Florida.
(04:00):
I went to go visit my best friend for my birthday.
We had these plans. We were going to hang out
around Miami Fort Lauderdale and then drive up to Disney
because they were opening the new Star Wars park out
there in Orlando. And unfortunately, Hurricane Dorian had other ideas,
and as I helped my friend prepare for the storm.
The other thing I had to do was get a
flight out back to California so I could avoid the hurricane,
(04:21):
and not an easy thing to do. I mean, there
was one point in that trajectory of the storm when
we really thought Florida was going to take a direct hit.
Is a Category five, so it was really hard to
change my flight. I managed to get the last flight
out to San Diego on Sunday night, and I was
really grateful for that. And I set this intention because
I thought that the airport was just going to be
(04:42):
a mob scene of people trying to evacuate, and it
really wasn't the case. I got through check in security
in about fifteen minutes, and I'm waiting for my plane,
and I was just so happy and in the state
of gratitude that I was able to get out just
in time, that I felt protected by the universe in
that moment. And then they get on the p A
system and they're like, attention, passengers going to San Diego.
(05:04):
It seems we do not have a crew for this flight.
We're going to have a delay. And instantly all that
gratitude went right out the window. I was pitching and
complaining and texting my friend. The people around me were
doing it, although there was every reason to be joyous
that eventually we were going to get out and avoid
(05:25):
what we believed was this massive Category five hurricane. And
it just proved to me how cheap our happiness is.
That you know, we can feel it in one minute
and the next minute it's gone. I mean, happiness is
not that different of a state from hunger. Right, we
can be hungry, but then we feed ourselves and we're
not hungry anymore until we're hungry again, and and happiness
(05:45):
drifts in and out like that. So it's not the
optimal state we should be going for. And the paradox
of happiness, and you even see this is you look
this up in the dictionaries and look online. In order
to talk about happiness, it's must that you have to
give the opposite. It's almost as if we're talking about
happiness we define it by what it is not. We
(06:07):
have more research on what doesn't cause happiness than the
things that actually lead to happiness. But out of all
the studies I've looked at, here are three things I
can absolutely tell you with certainty that happiness at work
and in life is not It's not about being happy
all the time. Every research study has shown that almost
all happy people still experience times of sadness. Carl Young
(06:30):
talked about this. He says, quote, even a happy life
cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word
happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced
out by sadness. And what I found in my own
personal growth journey is that sadness can be a useful emotion.
Sadness is usually just a call for awareness to some
emotional underlying issue that needs to be healed. It often
(06:54):
leads us to the trauma work that we need to
do to elevate into the next level of our life.
Happy us also, according to research, is not about having
a lot of money. You know, while we certainly are
going to struggle to be happy living below the poverty line,
we still see this all the time. I have friends
who have gone on mission trips and gone to Africa,
(07:14):
and there are kids who are living off, you know,
literally less than a dollar a day who are just
happy with a stick and a ball running through the fields.
They can still be in a state of joy despite
tough circumstances. And if you look at the research by
Daniel Cannaman. He's found the same thing that money increases
your happiness up until about seventy dollars a year, and
(07:35):
then any amount after that. It might buy you more luxury,
it might give you more pleasure, but none of it
is scientifically proven to lead to more happiness. And there's
some other smaller studies out there that show the opposite
that the more money people make a lot of time,
their happiness decreases. And the third thing that happiness is
(07:56):
not when it comes to your career in life is
it's not a desk the nation. So often we judge
ourselves and where we're at in life now because we
think back on a happy memory in the past that
we miss, So we start living in the past, or
we expect happiness to arrive when we reach the next
big achievement or gold or ambition that we have in
(08:17):
our life. You know, once I've become an executive vice president,
then a vice president, then a senior vice president, then
you know, once I get all that, I'll be happy.
So we push happiness off into the future. The thing
I'd like to call the next big Things syndrome and
what it prevents us from doing is being happy right
now in the present moment, and the present moment is
(08:37):
the only place you and I have the power or
the resources to truly create the amplified career in life
that we want. So now that we figured out what
happiness isn't, what I'd like to share with you this
week is why you shouldn't actually be chasing happiness at
work and what all the research tells us we should
focus on instead. We're going to talk about two types
(08:58):
of happiness a ring to science, one that leaves you
empty and one of them that fills your spirit. And
we're going to talk about what research says we can
do right now to become happier and to create a
larger sense of well being in our life. Gonna get
to that coming up in just a moment. First, a
couple of housekeeping items for the podcast. Don't forget we
(09:20):
are still running a contest through the month of September
where you could win your choice of a brand new
pair of Apple air Pods or I will send you
an Amazon gift card in the amount of the air pods.
All you have to do is leave us an honest
review up on Apple. You know this isn't about kissing up.
This isn't about telling me how great the podcast is.
(09:41):
It's just your honest views. If the content that we
provided in these episodes have added value to your life,
would you please share the word leave us an honest review,
and before you hit submit, screenshot that and send it
to me on email Dan at Creative Soul Coaching dot net.
What I'll do is every review that comes in, I'm
(10:03):
going to make a donation to Feeding America that's going
to help feed one sixty hungry people. Plus each person
is going to go in the grand Price drawing for
their choice of the AirPods or the Amazon gift card.
The deadline for this is going to be October five,
So if you'll take two minutes out of your day
and submit that review, I would love to shout you
(10:24):
out here on the podcast and also make a donation
to Feeding America in your name. It's a win win
for everybody. And why am I doing this again because
the reviews really help with that algorithm up on Apple
and it helps us get this podcast and all this
information in front of more people. Also coming up towards
the end of the month, I'm going to be doing
another listener, Q and a mail bag podcast where we're
(10:46):
gonna be answering your questions about creating an amplified career
in life. So, if there is anything that is in
the way of you creating your next level, and there's
something that you would ask me if you and I
could sit down for coffee, feel free to message Mean Bat.
You can slide into my d M s up on Instagram.
You can find me at c SC Dan Mason. You
(11:08):
can send me a message through Facebook or through our
private community for the podcast, the Life Amplified Power Tribe.
We have the link for that in the show notes,
or you can just email me that question privately to
the address that I mentioned earlier for the contest Dan
at Creative Soul Coaching dot net. It's just another way
that we can serve you and offer you some little
(11:30):
bits of wisdom, some information that's going to help you
amplify your life. All that being said, let's dive in.
We're gonna talk about why you shouldn't chase happiness at
work this week on Life Amplified. The average person spends
over nine hours at work in their lifetime, So what
(11:51):
if there was a way that we could make that
time more enjoyable. Here's the catch film. Have you ever
noticed if you've said happiness as a primary goal in
your life, sometimes it's almost as if we can start
feeling the opposite. And you know, that's why I gave
you that information at the beginning of the episode this week,
that happiness is a leading state. It's not a permanent condition.
(12:14):
It's not you know, a moment that you arrive at
where you bus through the ribbon in the marathon and
you were home free to a happier life. All the
research that's out there tells us we should be looking
for an alternative goal at work instead of happiness, and
that is finding meaning. According to one survey of twelve
thousand employees I found at the Harvard Business Journal, half
(12:38):
of them said they didn't have a feeling of meaning
or purpose in their work. However, the ones who did
reported one point seven times greater job satisfaction, they were
one point four times more engaged at work, and they
were more than three times is likely to remain with
their current employer. How important is meaning and purpose in
(12:58):
the workplace? Well? According to a study by Sean Acre
and his research team, they found that nine out of
ten people would be willing to swap a percentage of
their lifetime earnings for more meaningful work. In fact, some
of the data suggests that people would take as much
as a pay cut if they knew that the work
that they did mattered to them and added to a
sense of purpose. But what are the things that were
(13:20):
really looking for when we talk about meaning? And how
is meaning different from happiness? So this is a topic
that philosophers and scholars have been talking about for over
two thousand years. Aristotle was the one who said that
there were two forms of happiness. The first one was hedonic,
which he said was all about obtaining pleasure. But pleasure
(13:43):
is an even more fleeting feeling than happiness when you
think about it, Like how many times have you indulged
in eating that triple chocolate cake at dessert and it
was deconite and you were so excited to have this
goodness up in your mouth, And then you went home
and you feel guilty for eating it, maybe even felt
a little bloated. You felt like, oh God, this is
(14:04):
wrecking my health goals. So while there was pleasure in
the moment, it quickly evaporated. Another example of this could
be the times, and we've all done it right where
we've hooked up with somebody who was toxic for us,
maybe went back and had sex with an X. And
it always feels good in the moment, right. We feel
great when we're in the orgasm trance. Then all of
(14:25):
a sudden, though, you roll over, you look at that person,
and you start thinking about all the reasons the relationship
didn't work or why it wasn't an emotional connection, and
many times we can be left feeling empty. So hedonic
happiness great in the moment, it's not a long term
path to success. One of the terms that we've talked
about on the podcast before, researchers used the term the
(14:46):
hedonic treadmill, that we're constantly running in place looking for
the next thing to bring us pleasure, but it never
really last. We get the pay raise and then our
brain quickly adjust and that new standard of living just
becomes expected. It's not special anymore, so we have to
run again to reach the next goal, and it just
(15:07):
ends up being in many regards like we're a cat
chasing its own tail. The other form of happiness and
the one that really according to philosophers, scholars and all
the research leads to long term happiness. Is you demonic happiness,
think of it is just overall well being. In fact,
the word unimonic comes from the Greek root that means
(15:29):
good spirit. The unimonic perspective on well being emphasizes the
importance of a purpose driven existence. And what's crazy about
this is that there's actually research now out of North
Carolina that says people who have truly cultivated this unimonic
well being actually have better test results when they sample
(15:50):
their blood. Their immune systems actually work better. Our bodies
literally reward us for focusing on meaning in our life
instead of focusing on accumulation. So if we apply this
to our work and to our career, and we start
thinking about focusing on meaning over happiness, the question is
(16:12):
what is the difference. Psychologist Roy Baumaster and his colleagues
have studied this extensively. They said, there are five factors
that differentiate meaning and happiness. Number one, happiness tends to
be about what we're getting from life, as opposed to meaning,
which is about what we are giving. If you're simply
focused on living a happy life, you're at the whim
(16:33):
of the rest of the world. You are reacting to
your environment. You're experiencing pleasant emotions when things are going well,
and you're experiencing unpleasant emotions when things are not going
your way. But what's interesting is the people who are
focused on cultivating meaning are impervious to the circumstances of
the world. You know, think of the people like Nelson Mandela,
(16:54):
who spent like three decades in a prison in South Africa.
People asked him, what were you doing living in the
heart's conditions in his mind? He said that he was
preparing because he knew what he wanted to accomplish when
he was finally freed. Victor Frankel was imprisoned in a
Nazi camp and saw unspeakable conditions. He saw his loved
ones murdered by the Germans, and for him he found
(17:17):
meaning in that he was able to survive those conditions
and it led to him creating logos therapy on the
back end. So, if you're trying to build a career
built on meaning, some great questions for you to consider
are what am I good at? What does the world need?
What are the problems that I see in the world
that I would like to contribute to the solution on
(17:39):
Because it's getting us in a service mindset. And it's
really different conversation when we talk about following our purpose
than simply following our passion, which those conversations are about, well,
what do I love to do? What do I love
to do that people will pay me for? It's a
little me focused passions not a bad thing, but passion
(18:00):
and be more in the hedonic lane is to where
purpose is getting us In the eu demonic lane, also,
a second big difference between the happiness and meaning is
all about the time frame. Happiness is directly related to
how I'm doing in the present moment. Am I getting
my needs? Met? Am I getting the results that I want?
(18:20):
People who are focused on meaning, according to Ballmeister, they're
able to assemble their past, present, and future into a
coherent story. They don't dwell on the struggles of the
past because they know that that's helped them build resilience,
or maybe it's led them to being part of solving
that problem that they've overcome. People who hate their job
(18:41):
who are focused on happiness will be the ones who
allow themselves to stay locked in the golden handcuffs. They'll
sign another contract at the job and take another pay raise,
they'll take the next set of stock options and abandon
their purpose because they have to get those needs met
in the present moment. One of my former clients just
gribe this to me so beautifully. She said, you know,
(19:02):
she was a person for years who stayed attached to
the golden handcuffs, and her boss would joke about it.
Her boss, you know, would stay in meetings, I'm going
to make it impossible for any of you to leave,
And every time she tried to quit, they just offer
more money. And for a period of time, she would
do that until the need for meaning and purpose became
so great that she eventually hired me to find another path.
(19:25):
And she's left that corporate job and she's thriving and
doing a deeply meaningful work that she's passionate about. Now.
The third difference between happiness and meaning is about our
social connections. And we've talked about this on the podcast
before that we are not meant to live in isolation.
We are tribal creatures. We are built for connection and
friendship and to have people around us that love and
(19:48):
support us. But if you are a person focused on happiness,
you experience that by having other people help you. If
you're a person focused on meaning, you're very focused on
being able to help others. So again, you know, are
you asking yourself what can I get from the world?
Or are you asking what can I contribute? How can
(20:09):
I serve? That's a powerful question that will ultimately lead
you to finding your life's purpose. The fourth difference between
happiness and meaning is all about how we show up
to face life's challenges, because when you are in a
struggle and you are facing difficulty in your life, you
are going to have less happiness. However, people who want
to live a meaningful life embrace the challenges and know
(20:32):
that whatever circumstances or difficulties they're up against right now
is actually pushing them to become more. So it's not
like we ever love the struggle, but we can appreciate
it and rise up knowing that as we overcome it,
you know, then we become that person worthy of the
goal that we seek. And the fifth and final difference
(20:53):
between happiness and meaning is about personal identity and self expression.
People who are very folk is them living a life
of meaning. They want to align with a job, or
with a cause or a purpose that allows them to
express their highest self. However, people focused on happiness abandon
that and throw that idea out the window. In fact,
(21:14):
they're usually trying to change or conform to who they
need to be to get the next bit of praise
or their next promotion at work. We abandon ourselves in
many instances to gain happiness as to where people focused
on meaning are really doing the work to figure out
who they are and how can they express that most
(21:35):
fully in service of other people. So, in short, happiness
is not the enemy. You are here to be happy.
You are here to experience all the things that you
want in life, and you're allowed to receive all the
things that you want. You know, there's nothing unspiritual about
making a million dollars or a hundred million dollars. There
is nothing that's not spiritual about having your dream job.
(21:59):
Because the more that you are happy and the more
you're receiving, the more good you can do in the world.
So the idea that I'm getting at here is not
about saying happiness or pursuing happiness is a bad thing.
It's one of the things that's guaranteed to us in
the Constitution life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But
(22:20):
we can't put it above our purpose. That is the
thing a lot of us have our priorities out of whack.
When you look for meaning and purpose first, happiness tends
to flow more easily. You're solving problems in the world.
When you're solving problems, people will pay you abundantly for that.
When you're solving problems in the world, your body naturally
(22:40):
releases feel good chemicals. Dopamine oxytocin transmitter is all the
good stuff happens when you're in service. By the way,
the people who are on the receiving end of your
kindness also get that same dopamine and oxytocin hint, and
people who are witnessing the acts of kindness, who aren't
even directly involved, also get the same chemical release. Why
(23:04):
do you think that so many of these touching videos
of like a U. S. Serviceman coming home to go
to the daddy daughter dance with his daughter. Why does
that go viral? Because the more that we see that,
the more we want to share it, and the people
who are sharing it feel good, the people watching it
feel good, the people who were in the room feel
good again. It's the universe's way of rewarding us for
(23:26):
doing the right thing. And finally, the last bit of
data that I would like to share when it comes
to happiness is the research that really breaks down on
a percentage basis, what the contributing factors are that determine
our happiness levels. Now, according to the data, of our
happiness is genetic. Not too surprising. We know that mental
(23:49):
health issues can be passed on genetically. However, there is
a lot of data out there saying through our thoughts
and actions, we can turn those genes on and off.
So just because you might have had a parent who
struggled with depression and anxiety, it does not have to
be your genetic fate that we can actually turn genes
on and off. Depending on the new neural connections that
(24:11):
we're making and how we control our thoughts. Butt of
our happiness is linked to genetics. Here's what's interesting, Only
ten percent of our happiness are linked to the current
circumstances of our life. Although whatever you're up against right now,
whether it be stress at work, financial struggle, troubles with
your marriage or your children, it might consume one of
(24:35):
your mental white board space, it really only has an
effect on ten percent of your actual happiness. The other
forty percent, according to research, is directly under our control.
That our thoughts and actions, the way we show up
each day is everything. So how do we make the
most of this forty percent? Well, As we said Number one,
(24:58):
having meaning and per this in your life is absolutely
scientifically corresponded to overall happiness. Find your life's purpose, bring
it forward in service to other people, and it's usually
not something that we find on our own. Coaching and
mentorship is a game changer in this area. It's really
at the core of a lot of the work that
(25:19):
I do with people. I have some v I P
coaching spots open right now, a couple of clients who
are graduating, so I am ready to call in new people.
And if that is you, you really want to lock
in on meaning and purpose and how to bring it forward.
Creative soul coaching dot net is where you go. Number
two positive social connections. Notice I said positive social connections.
(25:42):
My hope is that you're spending time with people who
lift you up instead of the ones who drag you down.
So there's a lot of ways that you could do that.
You could ask a friend to lunch, you could join
a book club, you could join a group on a
website like meet up dot com. You could write a letter,
put in a phone call, not just a text message. Imagine,
just like reconnecting with an old friend. You could join
(26:04):
a sports team, you could take a class. But we
want to create a better sense of social connection in
your life because that is absolutely going to buffer us
from things like anxiety depression, and it keeps us motivated
and engaged with life. Number three, if you're looking to
really control this, you've got to release what doesn't serve
(26:28):
you anymore. A lot of times that can be practicing
the act of forgiveness, letting go of resentment from the
people who hurt you. And by the way, I know
that somebody listening today has been through some really severe,
intense hurt. But remember what I've said on this podcast
before that forgiveness is a self focused tool. It is
never about the other person. It doesn't make what they
(26:50):
did okay. It's simply an acceptance on your part that
the past cannot be changed, and it's a willingness to
relate to the past differently. So we want to release
anything that is no longer serving as Sometimes that can
be a job. It could be a relationship that is toxic,
but it can certainly just be the resentments that we've carried.
(27:12):
Another way that you can really take control and increase
this fort happiness is a gratitude practice. One of my clients,
it comes from the science world. She's a very successful
surgeon and you know, she's a big data person. So
for her, the idea of living in gratitude seems so hokey,
and she was so resistant, and yet that's one of
the things that she's embraced that is really created the
(27:34):
biggest leap forward for her in her life is giving
thanks for the small blessings. Remember, if you can't celebrate
the small winds in your life, you'll never celebrate the
big ones. It's at the cornerstone of what I do
each day. In the morning and in the evening, I
journal about five things that I'm grateful for. You could
take this up and not You could write a gratitude
letter to somebody who is positively impacted your life. But
(27:57):
there is always reason to celebrate and to include that
into your life. And one other way that you can
really take control and on this more happiness, it's about
creating positive experiences. What are the things that you would
do if today was your last day on earth? What
(28:18):
are some of those bucket list things you can find
some joy in every day? And and look, if you
can't go away and climb Machu Picchu right now, cool.
But you know, for me, taking a walk on the
beach is something that brings me a tremendous amount of joy.
And I'll be honest, it's one of the things that
I abandoned from my life when I moved out here
(28:38):
to California. You know, when I first made this move
to Lahoya, which for me was one of those external
things that I thought was going to bring a lasting happiness.
I could just fall asleep listening to the beach at
night and wake up two sunsets on the water. I
thought that that was going to be the key, and
for a period of time it was. I moved here.
I was in so much gratitude. I would soak up
(28:58):
every minute I could walking along that beach with my
dog in the morning, and my business skyrocketed accordingly. You know,
January was the biggest month in the history of my business.
But again, like when we talk about with that hedonic mindset,
I started to take it for granted. And I started
to focus on the next result. How could I make
February even bigger than January? And I was looking for
(29:22):
some other financial carrot that was going to be the
next big thing. And somehow, in the struggle of all that,
I started spending less time out in nature. I started
to isolate more. It became more about my work and
taking this message out there. And don't get me wrong,
my work is my life's purpose, you know, coaching, my
v I P clients, my speaking engagements, creating this podcast
(29:44):
for you every week is absolutely my life's purpose. That
part of me is aligned. But then there is also
part of me that is ambitious and sometimes just for
the sake of ambition. It's those little patterns underneath from
childhood of trying to prove that I'm enough. I don't
even know who I'm trying to prove that to sometimes,
but when I get off track and start going down
(30:05):
that road, all of a sudden, everything starts falling apart.
I noticed in the middle of the year I started
feeling less happy, and it's something that I've really had
to push the reset button on. And it's why non
negotiable time every day. In fact, as soon as I
finished recording this podcast. I'll be walking out on the
beach with my puppy Brady. We're going to be out
there living it up and soaking up some sun and
(30:26):
you know, throwing a ball out there along the ocean.
But what is that for you? You You know, maybe the
beach isn't your jam. Maybe you hate sand in your toes.
That's cool. Maybe it's a good book, could be a
good glass of wine. It could be taking a walk.
I'll walk through an art gallery that you love. It
could be creating art of your own. But let's get
(30:47):
clear on what those positive experiences are. What are the hobbies?
How can we create that free time and really utilize
it in your life? And that is another way that
you can become happier. I am so lit up and
moved by this topic right now. It's something that is
really personally important to me. It's something that I've been
working on and what I'm gonna be doing starting on Monday,
(31:10):
September nine, is kicking off a ten day Amplified Happiness
challenge on my Instagram page. I would love for you
to follow. I would love for you to participate with me.
You can find me on the Graham at c SC,
Dan Mason, and I know they're like, there's part of
you right now. It's going well. Dan, you said, happiness
isn't the goal, So why is it a happiness challenge?
(31:32):
Because we're not going to be chasing happiness externally. We're
going to be cultivating it from within through a sense
of meaning, through a sense of purpose. And I'm just
gonna give you some small challenges every day. I'm going
to be there doing it with you. I would love
for you to participate, and please, if you have a
friend in your life who is going through a rough patch,
if you have a friend who's laying in bed at
(31:53):
night thinking to themselves, Man, is this all there is?
Do you know somebody who's accomplished every thing they set
out to do, but they don't feel any happier? Could
you please share this podcast with them, Send the link,
ask him to take a listen. And it would mean
the world to me if you were able to help
me spread the word. I love you so much, Thank
you for being here, thank you for being part of
(32:15):
my community. Don't forget if you'd like to work one
on one with me, there are limited spots to do
that you can go to my website, Creative soul coaching
dot net. You can also leave us those reviews up
on Apple. Don't forget to screenshot it before you submit.
Email it to me Dan at creative soul coaching dot net.
We'll get you in the running for those Apple air
(32:37):
pods or an Amazon gift card, whichever one is going
to amplify your happiness the most, And for every new
review that goes up, we're gonna make a donation on
your behalf to Feeding America, so big win win for everybody.
In the meantime, turned down the volume on your negativity,
turn up the volume on your purpose so you can
live life amplified.
Episode seventy eight, Why you should stop looking for happiness
at work. My name is Dan Mason. I was overweight,
getting divorced, battling depression, and feeling trapped in a career
where I was successful but bored and unfulfilled. And it's
actually the greatest gift I've ever been given. I used
my pain as a springboard to discover my life's purpose.
(00:23):
Now I want to share the same tools and strategies
which helped transform my life with you so you can
live life amplify. A friend of mine sent me a
parable about the eighteen forty nine gold Rush in the
email recently, and it lined up so perfectly with the
topic that I wanted to share today. So if you
don't mind, I'd like to start today with short story
(00:44):
instead of the typical quote that I use. In eighteen
forty nine, a young merchant from Boston was caught up
in the fervor of the California gold Rush. He sold
all of his possessions to seek his fortune in the
California rivers, which he was told were filled with golden
nugg It's so big that one could hardly carry them.
Day after endless day, the young man dipped his pan
(01:06):
into the river and came up empty. His only reward
was a growing pile of rocks. Discouraged and broke, he
was ready to quit until one day an experienced prospector
said to him, that's quite a pile of rocks you're
getting there, my boy. The young man replied, there's no
gold here. I'm going back home. Walking over to the
pile of rocks, the old prospector said, oh, there's gold
(01:26):
all right, you just have to know where to find it.
He picked two rocks up in his hands and crashed
them together. One of the rocks split open, revealing several
flicks of gold sparkling in the sunlight. Noticing a bulging
leather pouch fastened to the prospector's waist, the young man said,
I'm looking for nuggets like the ones in your pouch,
not just tiny flecks. The old prospector extended his pouch
(01:48):
toward the young man, who looked inside, expecting to see
several large gold nuggets. He was stunned to see that
the pouch was filled with thousands of flicks of gold.
The old prospector said, son, it seems to me you're
so busy looking for large nuggets that you're missing filling
your pouch with these precious flecks of gold. The patient
accumulation of these little flex has brought me great wealth,
(02:09):
and that's really the analogy of the story. So many
of us are like the young merchant. We're always after
that great, big of elusive gold that's going to bring
us true happiness. And more often than not, what I
find in my work is many people are looking for
that through their career. We're chasing the bigger pay raise,
the next job title, the four oh one k and
(02:30):
and when those things don't work out, typically we start
chasing a new relationship, a nicer car, or some external
measure that proves our worth and that we believe is
going to be the magic elixir for long term happiness.
And what I want to share with you this week
is some of the scientific back to research that tells
us the opposite is true, that happiness is found in
(02:51):
small flecks of gold all throughout our everyday lives. And
sometimes those little flecks are out in the open. Sometimes
they're buried in the mundane and boring rocks. But let's
give you a path to find true happiness. And perhaps
the first thing that we have to uncover. If we're
going to answer the question of what will make me happy?
Is what does happiness even mean? It's a different answer
(03:14):
for different people, And in all the research I've done
over the past few weeks, there's no consensus in the
scientific community or among any of the spiritual gurus. If
you look it up in the Oxford Dictionary, they say
happiness is the state of being happy, whatever the hell
that actually means. Miriam Webster says happiness is a state
of pleasure or contentment, which is really interesting because that
(03:38):
means happiness is not pleasure, that those are two different things.
It also means happiness is just an emotional state and
not a personality trait. So it's changeable, it's ever moving,
it's not permanent and constant. Happiness comes and goes. I
learned this firsthand last week. I was in South Florida.
(04:00):
I went to go visit my best friend for my birthday.
We had these plans. We were going to hang out
around Miami Fort Lauderdale and then drive up to Disney
because they were opening the new Star Wars park out
there in Orlando. And unfortunately, Hurricane Dorian had other ideas,
and as I helped my friend prepare for the storm.
The other thing I had to do was get a
flight out back to California so I could avoid the hurricane,
(04:21):
and not an easy thing to do. I mean, there
was one point in that trajectory of the storm when
we really thought Florida was going to take a direct hit.
Is a Category five, so it was really hard to
change my flight. I managed to get the last flight
out to San Diego on Sunday night, and I was
really grateful for that. And I set this intention because
I thought that the airport was just going to be
(04:42):
a mob scene of people trying to evacuate, and it
really wasn't the case. I got through check in security
in about fifteen minutes, and I'm waiting for my plane,
and I was just so happy and in the state
of gratitude that I was able to get out just
in time, that I felt protected by the universe in
that moment. And then they get on the p A
system and they're like, attention, passengers going to San Diego.
(05:04):
It seems we do not have a crew for this flight.
We're going to have a delay. And instantly all that
gratitude went right out the window. I was pitching and
complaining and texting my friend. The people around me were
doing it, although there was every reason to be joyous
that eventually we were going to get out and avoid
(05:25):
what we believed was this massive Category five hurricane. And
it just proved to me how cheap our happiness is.
That you know, we can feel it in one minute
and the next minute it's gone. I mean, happiness is
not that different of a state from hunger. Right, we
can be hungry, but then we feed ourselves and we're
not hungry anymore until we're hungry again, and and happiness
(05:45):
drifts in and out like that. So it's not the
optimal state we should be going for. And the paradox
of happiness, and you even see this is you look
this up in the dictionaries and look online. In order
to talk about happiness, it's must that you have to
give the opposite. It's almost as if we're talking about
happiness we define it by what it is not. We
(06:07):
have more research on what doesn't cause happiness than the
things that actually lead to happiness. But out of all
the studies I've looked at, here are three things I
can absolutely tell you with certainty that happiness at work
and in life is not It's not about being happy
all the time. Every research study has shown that almost
all happy people still experience times of sadness. Carl Young
(06:30):
talked about this. He says, quote, even a happy life
cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word
happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced
out by sadness. And what I found in my own
personal growth journey is that sadness can be a useful emotion.
Sadness is usually just a call for awareness to some
emotional underlying issue that needs to be healed. It often
(06:54):
leads us to the trauma work that we need to
do to elevate into the next level of our life.
Happy us also, according to research, is not about having
a lot of money. You know, while we certainly are
going to struggle to be happy living below the poverty line,
we still see this all the time. I have friends
who have gone on mission trips and gone to Africa,
(07:14):
and there are kids who are living off, you know,
literally less than a dollar a day who are just
happy with a stick and a ball running through the fields.
They can still be in a state of joy despite
tough circumstances. And if you look at the research by
Daniel Cannaman. He's found the same thing that money increases
your happiness up until about seventy dollars a year, and
(07:35):
then any amount after that. It might buy you more luxury,
it might give you more pleasure, but none of it
is scientifically proven to lead to more happiness. And there's
some other smaller studies out there that show the opposite
that the more money people make a lot of time,
their happiness decreases. And the third thing that happiness is
(07:56):
not when it comes to your career in life is
it's not a desk the nation. So often we judge
ourselves and where we're at in life now because we
think back on a happy memory in the past that
we miss, So we start living in the past, or
we expect happiness to arrive when we reach the next
big achievement or gold or ambition that we have in
(08:17):
our life. You know, once I've become an executive vice president,
then a vice president, then a senior vice president, then
you know, once I get all that, I'll be happy.
So we push happiness off into the future. The thing
I'd like to call the next big Things syndrome and
what it prevents us from doing is being happy right
now in the present moment, and the present moment is
(08:37):
the only place you and I have the power or
the resources to truly create the amplified career in life
that we want. So now that we figured out what
happiness isn't, what I'd like to share with you this
week is why you shouldn't actually be chasing happiness at
work and what all the research tells us we should
focus on instead. We're going to talk about two types
(08:58):
of happiness a ring to science, one that leaves you
empty and one of them that fills your spirit. And
we're going to talk about what research says we can
do right now to become happier and to create a
larger sense of well being in our life. Gonna get
to that coming up in just a moment. First, a
couple of housekeeping items for the podcast. Don't forget we
(09:20):
are still running a contest through the month of September
where you could win your choice of a brand new
pair of Apple air Pods or I will send you
an Amazon gift card in the amount of the air pods.
All you have to do is leave us an honest
review up on Apple. You know this isn't about kissing up.
This isn't about telling me how great the podcast is.
(09:41):
It's just your honest views. If the content that we
provided in these episodes have added value to your life,
would you please share the word leave us an honest review,
and before you hit submit, screenshot that and send it
to me on email Dan at Creative Soul Coaching dot net.
What I'll do is every review that comes in, I'm
(10:03):
going to make a donation to Feeding America that's going
to help feed one sixty hungry people. Plus each person
is going to go in the grand Price drawing for
their choice of the AirPods or the Amazon gift card.
The deadline for this is going to be October five,
So if you'll take two minutes out of your day
and submit that review, I would love to shout you
(10:24):
out here on the podcast and also make a donation
to Feeding America in your name. It's a win win
for everybody. And why am I doing this again because
the reviews really help with that algorithm up on Apple
and it helps us get this podcast and all this
information in front of more people. Also coming up towards
the end of the month, I'm going to be doing
another listener, Q and a mail bag podcast where we're
(10:46):
gonna be answering your questions about creating an amplified career
in life. So, if there is anything that is in
the way of you creating your next level, and there's
something that you would ask me if you and I
could sit down for coffee, feel free to message Mean Bat.
You can slide into my d M s up on Instagram.
You can find me at c SC Dan Mason. You
(11:08):
can send me a message through Facebook or through our
private community for the podcast, the Life Amplified Power Tribe.
We have the link for that in the show notes,
or you can just email me that question privately to
the address that I mentioned earlier for the contest Dan
at Creative Soul Coaching dot net. It's just another way
that we can serve you and offer you some little
(11:30):
bits of wisdom, some information that's going to help you
amplify your life. All that being said, let's dive in.
We're gonna talk about why you shouldn't chase happiness at
work this week on Life Amplified. The average person spends
over nine hours at work in their lifetime, So what
(11:51):
if there was a way that we could make that
time more enjoyable. Here's the catch film. Have you ever
noticed if you've said happiness as a primary goal in
your life, sometimes it's almost as if we can start
feeling the opposite. And you know, that's why I gave
you that information at the beginning of the episode this week,
that happiness is a leading state. It's not a permanent condition.
(12:14):
It's not you know, a moment that you arrive at
where you bus through the ribbon in the marathon and
you were home free to a happier life. All the
research that's out there tells us we should be looking
for an alternative goal at work instead of happiness, and
that is finding meaning. According to one survey of twelve
thousand employees I found at the Harvard Business Journal, half
(12:38):
of them said they didn't have a feeling of meaning
or purpose in their work. However, the ones who did
reported one point seven times greater job satisfaction, they were
one point four times more engaged at work, and they
were more than three times is likely to remain with
their current employer. How important is meaning and purpose in
(12:58):
the workplace? Well? According to a study by Sean Acre
and his research team, they found that nine out of
ten people would be willing to swap a percentage of
their lifetime earnings for more meaningful work. In fact, some
of the data suggests that people would take as much
as a pay cut if they knew that the work
that they did mattered to them and added to a
sense of purpose. But what are the things that were
(13:20):
really looking for when we talk about meaning? And how
is meaning different from happiness? So this is a topic
that philosophers and scholars have been talking about for over
two thousand years. Aristotle was the one who said that
there were two forms of happiness. The first one was hedonic,
which he said was all about obtaining pleasure. But pleasure
(13:43):
is an even more fleeting feeling than happiness when you
think about it, Like how many times have you indulged
in eating that triple chocolate cake at dessert and it
was deconite and you were so excited to have this
goodness up in your mouth, And then you went home
and you feel guilty for eating it, maybe even felt
a little bloated. You felt like, oh God, this is
(14:04):
wrecking my health goals. So while there was pleasure in
the moment, it quickly evaporated. Another example of this could
be the times, and we've all done it right where
we've hooked up with somebody who was toxic for us,
maybe went back and had sex with an X. And
it always feels good in the moment, right. We feel
great when we're in the orgasm trance. Then all of
(14:25):
a sudden, though, you roll over, you look at that person,
and you start thinking about all the reasons the relationship
didn't work or why it wasn't an emotional connection, and
many times we can be left feeling empty. So hedonic
happiness great in the moment, it's not a long term
path to success. One of the terms that we've talked
about on the podcast before, researchers used the term the
(14:46):
hedonic treadmill, that we're constantly running in place looking for
the next thing to bring us pleasure, but it never
really last. We get the pay raise and then our
brain quickly adjust and that new standard of living just
becomes expected. It's not special anymore, so we have to
run again to reach the next goal, and it just
(15:07):
ends up being in many regards like we're a cat
chasing its own tail. The other form of happiness and
the one that really according to philosophers, scholars and all
the research leads to long term happiness. Is you demonic happiness,
think of it is just overall well being. In fact,
the word unimonic comes from the Greek root that means
(15:29):
good spirit. The unimonic perspective on well being emphasizes the
importance of a purpose driven existence. And what's crazy about
this is that there's actually research now out of North
Carolina that says people who have truly cultivated this unimonic
well being actually have better test results when they sample
(15:50):
their blood. Their immune systems actually work better. Our bodies
literally reward us for focusing on meaning in our life
instead of focusing on accumulation. So if we apply this
to our work and to our career, and we start
thinking about focusing on meaning over happiness, the question is
(16:12):
what is the difference. Psychologist Roy Baumaster and his colleagues
have studied this extensively. They said, there are five factors
that differentiate meaning and happiness. Number one, happiness tends to
be about what we're getting from life, as opposed to meaning,
which is about what we are giving. If you're simply
focused on living a happy life, you're at the whim
(16:33):
of the rest of the world. You are reacting to
your environment. You're experiencing pleasant emotions when things are going well,
and you're experiencing unpleasant emotions when things are not going
your way. But what's interesting is the people who are
focused on cultivating meaning are impervious to the circumstances of
the world. You know, think of the people like Nelson Mandela,
(16:54):
who spent like three decades in a prison in South Africa.
People asked him, what were you doing living in the
heart's conditions in his mind? He said that he was
preparing because he knew what he wanted to accomplish when
he was finally freed. Victor Frankel was imprisoned in a
Nazi camp and saw unspeakable conditions. He saw his loved
ones murdered by the Germans, and for him he found
(17:17):
meaning in that he was able to survive those conditions
and it led to him creating logos therapy on the
back end. So, if you're trying to build a career
built on meaning, some great questions for you to consider
are what am I good at? What does the world need?
What are the problems that I see in the world
that I would like to contribute to the solution on
(17:39):
Because it's getting us in a service mindset. And it's
really different conversation when we talk about following our purpose
than simply following our passion, which those conversations are about, well,
what do I love to do? What do I love
to do that people will pay me for? It's a
little me focused passions not a bad thing, but passion
(18:00):
and be more in the hedonic lane is to where
purpose is getting us In the eu demonic lane, also,
a second big difference between the happiness and meaning is
all about the time frame. Happiness is directly related to
how I'm doing in the present moment. Am I getting
my needs? Met? Am I getting the results that I want?
(18:20):
People who are focused on meaning, according to Ballmeister, they're
able to assemble their past, present, and future into a
coherent story. They don't dwell on the struggles of the
past because they know that that's helped them build resilience,
or maybe it's led them to being part of solving
that problem that they've overcome. People who hate their job
(18:41):
who are focused on happiness will be the ones who
allow themselves to stay locked in the golden handcuffs. They'll
sign another contract at the job and take another pay raise,
they'll take the next set of stock options and abandon
their purpose because they have to get those needs met
in the present moment. One of my former clients just
gribe this to me so beautifully. She said, you know,
(19:02):
she was a person for years who stayed attached to
the golden handcuffs, and her boss would joke about it.
Her boss, you know, would stay in meetings, I'm going
to make it impossible for any of you to leave,
And every time she tried to quit, they just offer
more money. And for a period of time, she would
do that until the need for meaning and purpose became
so great that she eventually hired me to find another path.
(19:25):
And she's left that corporate job and she's thriving and
doing a deeply meaningful work that she's passionate about. Now.
The third difference between happiness and meaning is about our
social connections. And we've talked about this on the podcast
before that we are not meant to live in isolation.
We are tribal creatures. We are built for connection and
friendship and to have people around us that love and
(19:48):
support us. But if you are a person focused on happiness,
you experience that by having other people help you. If
you're a person focused on meaning, you're very focused on
being able to help others. So again, you know, are
you asking yourself what can I get from the world?
Or are you asking what can I contribute? How can
(20:09):
I serve? That's a powerful question that will ultimately lead
you to finding your life's purpose. The fourth difference between
happiness and meaning is all about how we show up
to face life's challenges, because when you are in a
struggle and you are facing difficulty in your life, you
are going to have less happiness. However, people who want
to live a meaningful life embrace the challenges and know
(20:32):
that whatever circumstances or difficulties they're up against right now
is actually pushing them to become more. So it's not
like we ever love the struggle, but we can appreciate
it and rise up knowing that as we overcome it,
you know, then we become that person worthy of the
goal that we seek. And the fifth and final difference
(20:53):
between happiness and meaning is about personal identity and self expression.
People who are very folk is them living a life
of meaning. They want to align with a job, or
with a cause or a purpose that allows them to
express their highest self. However, people focused on happiness abandon
that and throw that idea out the window. In fact,
(21:14):
they're usually trying to change or conform to who they
need to be to get the next bit of praise
or their next promotion at work. We abandon ourselves in
many instances to gain happiness as to where people focused
on meaning are really doing the work to figure out
who they are and how can they express that most
(21:35):
fully in service of other people. So, in short, happiness
is not the enemy. You are here to be happy.
You are here to experience all the things that you
want in life, and you're allowed to receive all the
things that you want. You know, there's nothing unspiritual about
making a million dollars or a hundred million dollars. There
is nothing that's not spiritual about having your dream job.
(21:59):
Because the more that you are happy and the more
you're receiving, the more good you can do in the world.
So the idea that I'm getting at here is not
about saying happiness or pursuing happiness is a bad thing.
It's one of the things that's guaranteed to us in
the Constitution life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But
(22:20):
we can't put it above our purpose. That is the
thing a lot of us have our priorities out of whack.
When you look for meaning and purpose first, happiness tends
to flow more easily. You're solving problems in the world.
When you're solving problems, people will pay you abundantly for that.
When you're solving problems in the world, your body naturally
(22:40):
releases feel good chemicals. Dopamine oxytocin transmitter is all the
good stuff happens when you're in service. By the way,
the people who are on the receiving end of your
kindness also get that same dopamine and oxytocin hint, and
people who are witnessing the acts of kindness, who aren't
even directly involved, also get the same chemical release. Why
(23:04):
do you think that so many of these touching videos
of like a U. S. Serviceman coming home to go
to the daddy daughter dance with his daughter. Why does
that go viral? Because the more that we see that,
the more we want to share it, and the people
who are sharing it feel good, the people watching it
feel good, the people who were in the room feel
good again. It's the universe's way of rewarding us for
(23:26):
doing the right thing. And finally, the last bit of
data that I would like to share when it comes
to happiness is the research that really breaks down on
a percentage basis, what the contributing factors are that determine
our happiness levels. Now, according to the data, of our
happiness is genetic. Not too surprising. We know that mental
(23:49):
health issues can be passed on genetically. However, there is
a lot of data out there saying through our thoughts
and actions, we can turn those genes on and off.
So just because you might have had a parent who
struggled with depression and anxiety, it does not have to
be your genetic fate that we can actually turn genes
on and off. Depending on the new neural connections that
(24:11):
we're making and how we control our thoughts. Butt of
our happiness is linked to genetics. Here's what's interesting, Only
ten percent of our happiness are linked to the current
circumstances of our life. Although whatever you're up against right now,
whether it be stress at work, financial struggle, troubles with
your marriage or your children, it might consume one of
(24:35):
your mental white board space, it really only has an
effect on ten percent of your actual happiness. The other
forty percent, according to research, is directly under our control.
That our thoughts and actions, the way we show up
each day is everything. So how do we make the
most of this forty percent? Well, As we said Number one,
(24:58):
having meaning and per this in your life is absolutely
scientifically corresponded to overall happiness. Find your life's purpose, bring
it forward in service to other people, and it's usually
not something that we find on our own. Coaching and
mentorship is a game changer in this area. It's really
at the core of a lot of the work that
(25:19):
I do with people. I have some v I P
coaching spots open right now, a couple of clients who
are graduating, so I am ready to call in new people.
And if that is you, you really want to lock
in on meaning and purpose and how to bring it forward.
Creative soul coaching dot net is where you go. Number
two positive social connections. Notice I said positive social connections.
(25:42):
My hope is that you're spending time with people who
lift you up instead of the ones who drag you down.
So there's a lot of ways that you could do that.
You could ask a friend to lunch, you could join
a book club, you could join a group on a
website like meet up dot com. You could write a letter,
put in a phone call, not just a text message. Imagine,
just like reconnecting with an old friend. You could join
(26:04):
a sports team, you could take a class. But we
want to create a better sense of social connection in
your life because that is absolutely going to buffer us
from things like anxiety depression, and it keeps us motivated
and engaged with life. Number three, if you're looking to
really control this, you've got to release what doesn't serve
(26:28):
you anymore. A lot of times that can be practicing
the act of forgiveness, letting go of resentment from the
people who hurt you. And by the way, I know
that somebody listening today has been through some really severe,
intense hurt. But remember what I've said on this podcast
before that forgiveness is a self focused tool. It is
never about the other person. It doesn't make what they
(26:50):
did okay. It's simply an acceptance on your part that
the past cannot be changed, and it's a willingness to
relate to the past differently. So we want to release
anything that is no longer serving as Sometimes that can
be a job. It could be a relationship that is toxic,
but it can certainly just be the resentments that we've carried.
(27:12):
Another way that you can really take control and increase
this fort happiness is a gratitude practice. One of my clients,
it comes from the science world. She's a very successful
surgeon and you know, she's a big data person. So
for her, the idea of living in gratitude seems so hokey,
and she was so resistant, and yet that's one of
the things that she's embraced that is really created the
(27:34):
biggest leap forward for her in her life is giving
thanks for the small blessings. Remember, if you can't celebrate
the small winds in your life, you'll never celebrate the
big ones. It's at the cornerstone of what I do
each day. In the morning and in the evening, I
journal about five things that I'm grateful for. You could
take this up and not You could write a gratitude
letter to somebody who is positively impacted your life. But
(27:57):
there is always reason to celebrate and to include that
into your life. And one other way that you can
really take control and on this more happiness, it's about
creating positive experiences. What are the things that you would
do if today was your last day on earth? What
(28:18):
are some of those bucket list things you can find
some joy in every day? And and look, if you
can't go away and climb Machu Picchu right now, cool.
But you know, for me, taking a walk on the
beach is something that brings me a tremendous amount of joy.
And I'll be honest, it's one of the things that
I abandoned from my life when I moved out here
(28:38):
to California. You know, when I first made this move
to Lahoya, which for me was one of those external
things that I thought was going to bring a lasting happiness.
I could just fall asleep listening to the beach at
night and wake up two sunsets on the water. I
thought that that was going to be the key, and
for a period of time it was. I moved here.
I was in so much gratitude. I would soak up
(28:58):
every minute I could walking along that beach with my
dog in the morning, and my business skyrocketed accordingly. You know,
January was the biggest month in the history of my business.
But again, like when we talk about with that hedonic mindset,
I started to take it for granted. And I started
to focus on the next result. How could I make
February even bigger than January? And I was looking for
(29:22):
some other financial carrot that was going to be the
next big thing. And somehow, in the struggle of all that,
I started spending less time out in nature. I started
to isolate more. It became more about my work and
taking this message out there. And don't get me wrong,
my work is my life's purpose, you know, coaching, my
v I P clients, my speaking engagements, creating this podcast
(29:44):
for you every week is absolutely my life's purpose. That
part of me is aligned. But then there is also
part of me that is ambitious and sometimes just for
the sake of ambition. It's those little patterns underneath from
childhood of trying to prove that I'm enough. I don't
even know who I'm trying to prove that to sometimes,
but when I get off track and start going down
(30:05):
that road, all of a sudden, everything starts falling apart.
I noticed in the middle of the year I started
feeling less happy, and it's something that I've really had
to push the reset button on. And it's why non
negotiable time every day. In fact, as soon as I
finished recording this podcast. I'll be walking out on the
beach with my puppy Brady. We're going to be out
there living it up and soaking up some sun and
(30:26):
you know, throwing a ball out there along the ocean.
But what is that for you? You You know, maybe the
beach isn't your jam. Maybe you hate sand in your toes.
That's cool. Maybe it's a good book, could be a
good glass of wine. It could be taking a walk.
I'll walk through an art gallery that you love. It
could be creating art of your own. But let's get
(30:47):
clear on what those positive experiences are. What are the hobbies?
How can we create that free time and really utilize
it in your life? And that is another way that
you can become happier. I am so lit up and
moved by this topic right now. It's something that is
really personally important to me. It's something that I've been
working on and what I'm gonna be doing starting on Monday,
(31:10):
September nine, is kicking off a ten day Amplified Happiness
challenge on my Instagram page. I would love for you
to follow. I would love for you to participate with me.
You can find me on the Graham at c SC,
Dan Mason, and I know they're like, there's part of
you right now. It's going well. Dan, you said, happiness
isn't the goal, So why is it a happiness challenge?
(31:32):
Because we're not going to be chasing happiness externally. We're
going to be cultivating it from within through a sense
of meaning, through a sense of purpose. And I'm just
gonna give you some small challenges every day. I'm going
to be there doing it with you. I would love
for you to participate, and please, if you have a
friend in your life who is going through a rough patch,
if you have a friend who's laying in bed at
(31:53):
night thinking to themselves, Man, is this all there is?
Do you know somebody who's accomplished every thing they set
out to do, but they don't feel any happier? Could
you please share this podcast with them, Send the link,
ask him to take a listen. And it would mean
the world to me if you were able to help
me spread the word. I love you so much, Thank
you for being here, thank you for being part of
(32:15):
my community. Don't forget if you'd like to work one
on one with me, there are limited spots to do
that you can go to my website, Creative soul coaching
dot net. You can also leave us those reviews up
on Apple. Don't forget to screenshot it before you submit.
Email it to me Dan at creative soul coaching dot net.
We'll get you in the running for those Apple air
(32:37):
pods or an Amazon gift card, whichever one is going
to amplify your happiness the most, And for every new
review that goes up, we're gonna make a donation on
your behalf to Feeding America, so big win win for everybody.
In the meantime, turned down the volume on your negativity,
turn up the volume on your purpose so you can
live life amplified.
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