Grandma Needs an Appointment

Danielle tries to make an appointment for her grandmother....the infamous Mrs. Mashgalopsis! 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone. Elvis durand Elvis Duran phone tap.
All right, Danielle, what do you have today? Janine wants
us to phone tap Jenna. Jenna works at a doctor's
office and she doesn't like when annoying patients call. So
Janine just basically said call an annoyer. So that's what
we did, all right, and here we go.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
That's a good money. How can I help you?

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Yes, Hi, I need to make an appointment for my grandma. Okay,
Linda mashkaalopsis.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Has she ever been here before?

Speaker 1 (00:27):
No, she's a new patient.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Okay, I don't have any new patients until December.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
You can put her down today for about one.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
She can't come in today, but.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
She really needs to shut her hands hurt.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
No, but you don't understand we're not accepting new patients.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
I'll spell machicalapsis for you.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Okay. But the thing is that she can't come in today. Okay.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
I'll call you back then tell you when we can come.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Okay, thank you. That's a good morning. How can I
help you?

Speaker 1 (00:50):
I need to make an appointment for a new patient.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Okay, I don't have anything available until December.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Well, it's my grandmother and her hands hurt, and she
really needs to come today.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
No, no, you can't come in.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
I bet you could get your grandmother in there.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Okay, but we're not talking about my grandmother right now.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Well that's not fair. Then if you can get your
grandmother in, why can't you get mine.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
I can give you an appointment for December, but.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
By then, my grandma's hands could fall off.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Your grandmother's hand is not going to fall off.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Her name is Linda Mashilopsis.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
She cannot be seen today.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
How about tomorrow?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
We're out in the office tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
How about on Friday?

Speaker 2 (01:19):
There's nothing I have available?

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Okay, thank you, you're welcome.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Nice office the morning. How can I hi?

Speaker 1 (01:26):
My name is Marie okay, and my grandma really needs
to come in for an appointment. Her hands really hurt.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Okay. Can I have the patient's last name?

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Sure, it's Masculopsis.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Okay. I can have anything available until December.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Why are you such a meanie?

Speaker 2 (01:40):
I've told you, and I've told the rest of your
family that she cannot be seen today.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
If she doesn't get a shot, then she's not going
to be able to wrap my birthday presents.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Okay, you're about the fourth or fifth person that holds
in my fanlitation what I know the situation. I know
her hands are hurting her, but your grandmother cannot come in.
She's a new patient. I'm not accepting new patients until December.
I'm fortunate. I told that to everybody who's called me
a reference to your grandmama, and unfortunately the doctor cannot
see her. Why, Hello, good morning? How can I help you?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yes, Hi, this is doctor Barnard and I'm calling for
Linda Mascallopsis.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
This is doctor Barnard.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yes, I'm her physician.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Oh you are what type of doctor?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Are you a hand doctor?

Speaker 2 (02:19):
You have a PhD in a hand yes, bonology, phonology.
Can you hold on my mom? Uh huh, it's good morning.
How can I help you?

Speaker 1 (02:31):
I need to come in and see the doctor today.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Are you a new patient? Yes, okay, I don't have
anything available until December.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
My hand's really hurt.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I know your hands really hurt, and you have a
lot of grandchildren.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
My name is Linda Mascos.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
I know what your name is, Hans, but unfortunately the
doctor cannot see you today. Why because the doctor is
busy with other patients today. That you're very busy. Now patient, Okay, enough,
now Janet gets I know you're pretending to cry, but
it's not really going to work.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Fortunately.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
I know what to tell you. What are you What
are you going to tell me?

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I want you to turn around and look at Janine
and say thank you so much, because you've just been
phone tapped.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Oh my god. I hate Hello. Oh hello Jenna.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
This is Daniel Manow and you've just been phone tap.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
The Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone tab was pre
recorded with permission granted by all participants.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show