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Episode Transcript
Don't answer the phone.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tapp Hello, Garrett, Hey,
phone tap? What do you have?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
All? Right?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Well, Valerie wants to phone tap her husband Shane. Now
Shane is a huge germophobe.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Right, so Valerie is going to start the call to
our husband Shane, letting them know, Hey, I'm gonna think
you up a sandwich from the deli?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
What do you want? And then it goes from there.
A germophobe eating a deli sandwich? This could be weird.
Let's listen to the phone tap.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Here we go.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Hello, what's going on? He's going, oh, nothing, just have
so many errands today. Listen, I was thinking about just
grabbing you some some lunch and just swinging it by
the office.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
What do you think, Thay, what are you gonna get?
Speaker 5 (00:39):
Well, that's a little sub shop. I'm thinking I'm gonna
get like a chicken parm Just.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Give me what you're getting? That sounds good?
Speaker 5 (00:49):
I'm there right now, Yeah, I need in one second?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
What was that?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (00:57):
Just too large chicken?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry you guys.
Speaker 5 (01:07):
Get the water?
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Yeahs kicking the orders he's coughing.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah, what can I get you the moment.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Well, I'm sorry, no, do not do not order anything
from him. I don't want him coughing all over our food.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
But it just got a tickle. He probably just got
sick because.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
You know he looks so good.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
No, no, no, no, yeah, how can I How can I
help you?
Speaker 5 (01:36):
Man?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
What can I get you chick? No? No, I don't
want I do not want to eat from that establishment.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
No, all right, I'll be right back to ring you up.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I don't know if he's really going to be on
making the food.
Speaker 5 (01:50):
It looks like you might be the person.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I don't care. Any establishment that will allow someone as
sick as that to come in the conditions cannot be
sanitary in the least. I don't want to eat from there.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
I don't want to like this.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I don't want this nice and it's not all over
my food. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
No, it's gonna be fine.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
It's not gonna be fine. It's coughing all over the
Excuse me, mam, do you have a tilace?
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Don't?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's no idea.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
How filthy that is?
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Is?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
He placing the otter?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Hello, excuse me? What's your name?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
George?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Okay, George well, I'm just gonna let you know that
I'm gonna be calling Human Health Services today and reporting you.
This is ridiculous. What are you doing at work coughing
the way you are? You sick? I don't care what
it is, it's you. I'm calling Human Health services.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Why would you like on your sub?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I don't want to sub. Put my wife back on
the phone.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Why don't you want to sub? Now what you.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Because you're snotting and flamming and coughing all over it,
that's why. And I don't appreciate having other people's bodily
fluids answering into mine.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I have this knee guard right in front of me,
so we're okay. Nothing's getting on there.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I don't care if you're in an air tight room.
You're not touching my food. You're not getting anywhere near
my food. Put my wife back on the phone.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
It's all right. I'm using my other hand to blow
my nose, so it's okay.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Are you talking? You're using your other hand your.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Rough Do you have cameras watching me? Because I'm not
coughing on your head?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
No, but you're coughing on the register. Someone's gonna touch
the register. They're going to come back and touch the food,
and food's gonna enter into my body and I'm gonna
get whatever sick germs are running into out of your system. Man,
I don't have time today.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
You don't know what I go through. Man, I'm pulling
a double shift, and.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
You know it's just I don't care.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I don't care. My wife on the phone. Put her
back on the phone. Put her on the phone. Now, Now.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
You're doing disgusting. This guy is coughing and sneezing all
over that place, even if he's not cooking the food.
It's got to be impossible for his journeys not to
get all over lit.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
You even even do the phone.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
What is wrong with you?
Speaker 5 (04:08):
You gotta clean down.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I don't want a snot cal zone today. Okay, it's
not my idea of a satisfying meal.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
I wonder sometimes, why don't you just keep a tube
purell next to that when we have sex, or maybe
you can work them out fanlastic gloves or something. Because
you are just taking this way out of control. I'm here,
the poor guy's having a coughing fit. You could be
a little bit more understanding.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
You feel sorry for this guy. It's puking up snot
all over our lunch. I don't know. I don't know
about you, but I don't want lunch anymore. I don't
have an appetite.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Well, I'm asusing it.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I'm that guy coming out of his face.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Excuse me, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Can I just apologize it?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Can I apologize to him?
Speaker 5 (04:49):
Well?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I don't want to talk to him about.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Excuse me, sir. I just wanted to say, you've been
phone tapped. Hello, he Shane, your wife Valerie wanted to
play a phone tap on you. My name is Garre
from Elvis Duran in the Morning Shown't that funny?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
No knowing it was funny, It was horrifying.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
The Elvis Duran phone tap.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
This phone tab was pre recorded with permission granted by
all participants.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show.
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