#110 Fisted & Forked

#110: The boys rehash the Elvis Duran Show Holiday lunch; Skeery is on carb overload with all the cake and cookies coming into the station this time of year; Brody nitpicks grammar and choice of words on 3 commercials he heard; We replay The Tales Over Cocktails Podcast audio of them rehashing our Vag Game convo; Brody is angry about a new corporate policy involving an office halfway across the country assigning work to people 10 feet down the hall from us; Listener Email

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start up, start Up, Brooklyn buys, start Up, Brooklyn buys,
start dat up. They're making noise data up. Okay, I

(00:23):
just had spaghetti five for the third time. Coming to
you from the Land of Cakes and carbs. This is
the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Who It's holiday season and um
I've been loading up. Man. You know, the deliveries in
this studio out of control. It's one after the next,
every ten minutes. More pies rolling. You know what's gonna

(00:45):
happen tomorrow. It's I mean mayhem, he would food. We
have not gotten one summer sausage yet. Well, this is
the this is my complaint. Why is it that, after
all the cookies and cupcakes and pastries that have made
their way to the stud video and through you and
through me, do we have to order art Choke pizza
on Friday? That's like the big fuck you. I made

(01:09):
a mistake. We made a huge error. Do we need
more carbs? Hold on, just call me CARBB. So today
one of Elvis's friends was it Vinny what's his name?
Vinny Vinny Vinny Pastries, Vinny Vinny Cakes, Vinny Cakes, v
I n n Y Cakes, Vinny Cakes on Instagram like
a mom the guys. He's from our old neighborhood. He's

(01:30):
he's from ty Heights in Brooklyn's like next next nigh
good guy. Good guy. He brings up unbelievable assortment of
like a dozen different cookies, pastries, mostly cookies and then
filled pastries. Okay, So it was a blueberry crumb cake
like like it was like a little square like two
why two? But I said to him, I go, this
is I'll tell you why this is special. You know,

(01:51):
some kind of sometimes cakes they put the filling, the
fruit filling right in the middle, a little squirt in
the middle. He put it like a ribbon throughout throughout,
so like from the sides you could see the blueberry.
It was everywhere. I said, Vinny, blueber everywhere. He goes, Yeah,
that's that's our specialty. And then I started giving him.
I started giving him because I was joking around him.
He was in the like you know, because some Staten
Island He's like, hey, I'm Vinnie. So I was joking

(02:12):
around with him, like, you know, he's from a tough
neighborhood with you know, people who might be in an organization,
let's just say organized at what they do. And so
I said, you know, he said, what are those called?
They said? He said, those are called thumb prints. That
chocolate they called thumb prints. I said, you should call him.
IM going to break your thumb prints because I love that.
I said, And you could call I said, I said,
see that muffin, you can call out it. You didn't

(02:34):
see muffin. You don't know muffin. He's like, you're good
at puns. I'm like, you're very small. You know. The
the thumb prints obviously someone put their thumb in the
middle to create a little divid and then they poured
a dollop of chocolate and they baked it in and
it's so damn good. The best part, you know. I
And I told him, I said, look, dude, I said,
you're not on the map. And a lot of people

(02:56):
you know from the borough's Brooklyn Staten Island. It's like,
you don't know nothing. You didn't say nothing. You didn't
know nothing. I'm like, why don't you be that guy?
It will go viral. You'll be the biggest business known
to man. I said, get your certificates, whatever you need
for the Board of Health, but don't have a location ever.
Don't have a brick and mortar. Just keep it on
Instagram because that's how he has it. Right now, Folks

(03:19):
like you can't get in touch with it, I said,
I said, I said, how do you if somebody wants
a book, a wedding or something, or you know, buy
your pastry. He doesn't want to make money, just just
I do it for fun. He goes hit me up
on Instagram dm me. I said, yeah, but you have
a whole business that you don't really he doesn't have
any employees, I know, but he can grow his business
and be the bakery. But it's we're really not baker.

(03:41):
His mother though. His mother mother sent up one thing.
She said, Oh, I want to send it up for them.
I love them. She's not spaghetti pie. You don't know
what spaghetti pie is. Your life is not what it
could be. Google it. It's uh, what's basically like, you
put a little cheese in it to keep the spaghetti together,
maybe a little ham. Some people put peas. I screw
you on the piece. This guy his mother putting no

(04:02):
peas and anyway, So my point was that you bake
it like big z D. But it gets to spaghetti crispy,
and then you slice like a like like squaz cut
like squaz out. It's like noodle pudding. If you're jew
you know what noodle pudding is. But it's spaghetti. Some
people put a little sauce on top, sauce on the side.

(04:23):
His mom is so oh, it's so good, Thank you mom, Mom.
Of any cakes, well, he made a thing called chocolate
syrup cake. He made terms yeah it's no oreo cookie,
term messieux. He didn't even know that. I got, yeah,
we're scary going. So the point was Andrew or that
was this is Andrew. You know he's a co host
of the serial podcast. He says we should have pizza

(04:45):
to martws our last day before vacation. Where do you
want pizza from? So I gave him a list of
a couple but I was like, you know, you can't
go wrong without a choke, I said, mom, Mom, Mom
is two is great? H A bunch of places that
are you hearing the words? Coming understand that of carbs?
I know, but autochoke pizza is my is one of
my favorites. But haven't we had enough carbs? Each slices

(05:07):
five pounds. But don't forget scary. It's keep this in mind.
It's Friday. It's getaway day for me. I'll bring a
roll of tinfoil. I'll bring that whole box. Right, almost
all you're thinking about the leftovers. You're not thinking about
the winter. I'm like a squirrel, not think. You're not
thinking squirrel. You're not thinking about what's going on here though.
It's it's carbs on carbs on, carbs on carbs. Can't

(05:31):
we bring in beef skewers? Can we bring chicken s?
Give me some protein? Screw the carbs. You want to
give you some protein? So what do you do? By
the way, you said squirrel, I want to give a
shout out um couple. By the way, the guy on Twitter,
fred Freddie Gordon Jr. Freddie Gordon did a video. This
is another one. I haven't seen this one yet. Is

(05:54):
that Freddy Fastbender. No, Freddy Gordon. Let me go to
the one he did yesterday. Okay, is a town called Snowfla.
Oh my god. Okay, I have not caught up this
more free dessert stories. Let me find Freddy's video from Okay,
here's Freddy in the snow. We talked about how in
the Northeast it was gonna be a squall, a squall,
which and Elvis is having you say, squirrel and squall

(06:17):
and restaurant. So he went out into the into the
cold and did a video. I hope you can hear.
But this is Freddie today yesterday. Oh my god, Oh
my god. It's the snow school, the snow milk. You
gotta get the squirrels away from the school. That guy

(06:43):
made me left. You missed it? Hold on the very ending?
Is there is the best part? Are you ah? That's
why I talked over you. I don't know what you're
talking about. You know that guy was hilarious. Let's see
what I we have not heard this. Let's see what
he recorded today right here? Uh see episode zero. I

(07:10):
listened to order. Got one question for you, Brody, we're good, right.
He's referencing the time Brody stole a candidate did not
Chinese restaurant after he thought he was even He grabs
a soda and holds it up and goes, we're good
as he's walking out. Okay, that guy's a slice for life.

(07:31):
That's not exactly what happened. Go back to listen city
the episode. Anyway, The point is that we've had way
too many carbs in here as it is, how do
we end our year and our decade? Here? Have five
pounds of more carbs and sauce and cheese. There's no protein?
Is protein? Here's the problem. So we have sausage pizza.

(07:53):
We're launching into two weeks of more eating. You have
Hanaga coming up. I got Christmas Eve pancakes coming again
about New Year's Eve, and I'm a god one on
New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. We got plans
at one of my favorite steakhouses. Where are you going?
I'm not telling I can't. I gonna say. I'll tell
you when it come back. But you're not taking me,
so that the are you exactly? Because you already getting

(08:15):
by the way, Nate from from the up Staring Morning Show,
he's been out for with a brain to a brain
aneurysm slash stroke. It's called a sub arachnoid. It's something hemorrhage. Yeah,
it sounds like a spider and it sounds like a
video game. He used to place rachnoid. I said that
he because you can break the bricks. D it was arachnoidid. Yeah,
that was archonoid, was it? No, it's arachnoid. It could

(08:37):
have been archonid. I think it was. D dude. Let
me say, hold on video game archid. My friend could
be archonoid. I have a rachnoid on my head for arachnoid.
Do you have a rachnoid phobia? I do not, So
I said, I have a spider in your head. Anyway.
My point is, Nate, it's archonoid. That's what I yeah. Anyway, So, uh,

(09:07):
Nate's back. So when he was when he like a
week before he came back, he called me and we
were we were bullshitting and catching up on stuff and
you know, talking about health and whatever. And you know,
one of the things I'm doing while he's out is
I'm covering all his work, which is no problem. You know.
I had to do it. I did it before he
got here. So it was like riding a bike. No.
I mean, I'm not bragging. No, I'm not bragging. My
point was, I mean we didn't really need him. No,

(09:28):
I never said that, dude, I don't know. No, that's
not what I said. I said, I know how to
do it. I did it for uh eleven twelve years
before he was hired, so that I could free myself
up to other stuff. He's listening. It's his role now,
God bless him, but it's a It can give you
an aneurysm. That the clerical stuff and the sales and
the promotions. It's a lot of work. I don't envy

(09:50):
either one of you. Right, So to thank me, he said, Brody,
I just gonna come back to work. I'm so weak,
but I I Brody. I miss you guys, all of you.
He says, I'm brody when I come back. I don't
care about Skier. I'm buying you a steak dinner. He said, yeah,
just like that. Obviously he wasn't fully recovered from my
guess is he won't remember, and I'm never gonna get
my my steak dinner from Nadia. But he goes, I'm bian,

(10:12):
I'm so get your scar. He's never gonna. I'm gonna
get your steak dinner, Brodie for steaks. You now, you
have a lot of extra work these days. I gotta
like a lot of extra pounds these days. Didn't because
we're having more pizza tomorrow. We don't eat pizza. I'm sorry,
I can't get off of this. You don't have to

(10:32):
eat the pizza scared. Oh you know, I'm gonna though,
I'm gonna I know with the Brooklyn boys have pizza. Okay,
So I a an art of Choke pizza place open
in Hoboken. Vodka. I have the vodka, by the way.
Not a sponsor, by the way. I I d m
the guys who owned Auto Choke because they're friends of us.

(10:54):
And I said, you know, we talked about pizza all
the time. You guys should be would be a great sponsor.
I'm her back, yet you are. They franchise it out now,
so up in a location in Manhattan. And so here's
what and here's what they do. And I found this
out because other places around the country do this when
they franchise their products out. If you've got something that's awesome,
you have a central essential commissary. They do this with

(11:21):
fala falafel from mo Moons, where they force you into
buying the actual like for instance, with the falafel place,
you have to buy their falafel, their balls, of course,
their sauce, their secret resci franchise. That's what franchise means.
You got to know. But the thing you can't that
means that gives them quality control, and all you gotta
do is pretty much heat it up. And that's what

(11:43):
they're doing with with with art Choke and Hoboken, because
they have to get the special They get the sauce
from a location, they get the crust come from. That's
why it tastes just as good as the other locations.
I'm not gonna speak for it Choke, but most franchises,
if they pre backage, like if they're getting like the

(12:05):
buns and the burgers and everything that's like pizza dough
should not come pre made, I'm saying usually, I'm pretty
sure that even that is done now if they shipped
the dough and the flower, Like when I worked at
Chuck E Cheese, a fine establishment back in the day,
you would get Chucky Cheese flower and then every franchise
you could buy like your own tomatoes. But you how
to use their recipe, how to use the Chucky Cheese recipe.

(12:28):
But the thing is, you can't trust them at the local.
But no, no, there was a Chucky Cheese seasoning pack
like of the regano and the salt pepper pre made.
Nothing's left the chance, nothing even but even a Chucky
Cheese convey about pizza, which, by the way, we've talked,
we talked about we've talked about this well, conveyer belt pizza. Dude,
if you go into a play, if you're a favorite place,
god bless you if you like it. But if the

(12:49):
best pizza place in your town puts the pizza in
one end of an oven and it goes through on
a conveyor belt it comes at the other end, it's
not the best pizza. It's not. No, it's not, And
it's okay when you hungover in a world of some world,
in a world of so many choices, unless you don't
have a lot of choices. Well here in our area
we do, so there's no excuses. I just can't believe

(13:09):
what I see every day. And I'm not gonna I'm
not gonna out any specific place, but I'm like, really,
I'm like, we got five the best pizza places within
any of these places we're thinking of could end up
as a sponsors. But guy, I'm always surprised living in
Jersey now, Like in North Jersey area, there's a lot

(13:32):
of Italians who know good pizza. I'm not saying Irish
don't know pizza pizza, but like do better but like
I I know a guy. Uh, he's a friend of
a friend. So he's not like my friend because I
could never be his friend. But he's a friend of
a friend. He's a Talian guy, and uh, he'll go. Yeah.
I like ordering from that place, the conveyor belt franchise place, Like,
why would you do that when such and such is

(13:53):
right there? Yeah? I like it. It comes to bread sticks.
It like the salad. I know, you don't want to
be Okay, you don't know what the pizza to get breadsticks? Right?
You don't go to a steakhouse because you like the
sliced tomatoes. Necessarily you go for the steak, right, you know? Oh,
I like I go there at fish place because the
tatto sauce is really good. No, you go for the good.

(14:16):
If the tatto sauce is good, that's great, But if
the fish sucks, who goes there? I go for the breadsticks.
You don't go to the pizza place for bread sticks, Okay,
so that shouldn't be why you choose your pizza. You know.
The other thing is, you know, people sometimes will tweet
me for food advice. I'm coming to the city. Oh,
I have a feeling I know where you're going with
this because I was writing about this to Ganda and

(14:36):
they're like, so I'm gonna be in there? We could
December twelfth. Yeah, where should I eat? Where should I go?
Wh should I eat? But I'm sitting there like, are
you fucking kidding me? There a two thousand restaurants in
Manhattan alone. Yeah, no, you know what? Give me parameters? Right?
What's your price point? What are you gonna be? Are
you going on a Saturday night? What time of day?

(14:57):
What you pick a cuisine narrowed down? Give me a
short of vocation of where you're gonna be in Manhattan
is huge. And when you say you're coming to New York?
Are you going to Brooklyn? Are you going to Queens?
I will glad are you going? I will gladly give you.
But but zone. We had a text message that came
in Wait, a text message came in late last week. Hey,

(15:19):
I'm going to Florida. What should I do? Florida? Florida
it's a giant long state. Like are you going to Orlando?
You're going to Tampa, You're going to Tallahassee? Where are
you going? Are you gonna go to see? S The
key even if you're like someone said to me, where
should I go for palm in New York? Again, I
don't know where you go and what your price point is?

(15:40):
Are you going alone? Listen? You know I love cam
mines with their family style, which means you spend twenty
four dollars for a chicken palm, but it feeds four.
You can go by yourself, you cannot walk. I did, well,
then you take home right, But but you like you
gotta go with three, four or five people so you

(16:01):
can all share like four platters. So I got to
know the parameters. That's the way he haul to help you.
So there's another this this is kind of embarrassing. So
somebody said into my d M s and said, look,
I'm visiting my son. My son lives in Jersey City,
just moved to Jersey City, right outside Manhattan. So he's
saying that we're going to go to this place. Blah
blah blah. Now I'm saying, is that good? Is there?

(16:27):
Is there? Better write it down on a piece of paper. Okay,
let me see where. So there's not Keep in mind,
it's a mother asking me right about the sun because
the sun's bringing them there. Okay, son just went to
Jersey City, and she knows that I live in Jersey City.
So she's slewed into my d M s and said,
hey see this place right? Oh oh no, right, I've heard.

(16:50):
So so here's my question. I'm gonna I'm gonna look
that place up on YELP real quick, hold on, it'll
it gets okay remarks, but it's not. Listen, it's it's
it's okay, but it's not. It's not. There's about ten.
So I wrote back to her, I'm like, I don't
want to insult your son because like it's a mother
and son, and I don't want the son to be

(17:11):
pissed at me. So I said, look, I said, if
I'm gonna be honest, I say, and you know me,
I'm the foodie and you came to me for a reason.
But your son seems to have his heart set on this. Yeah,
I said, it's okay. I mean, if he doesn't love you,
it's fine. It's pub grub. You guys have a strained relationship.

(17:33):
I mean, if you like, if you like food that's
boiled in a bag and just they cut it with
his scissor and they PLoP it onto the plate. Then
you're good, but it's not like if you're like a
place that gives your limited bread sticks. This is the place.
It's not a chain, by the way, But so I said,
I said, here's what I said. She was, oh, she was,

(17:53):
so they are better places. She goes, give me your suggestions,
and I legitimately listed twelve and I emailed it back
to her. She was, oh, my god, she was, all
these places are better than yeah, and I said, yeah,
I said, a lot better. She's, well, you know, good food.
She goes. You know what she was, I'm gonna tell
I'm gonna take this list. I'm gonna give it to him,

(18:13):
and I'm gonna tell him to pick one of the
restaurants that you suggested. Scary, now, I feel like a
dick because the kid is gonna be like, this could
be his favorite place, it could be fair anything. He
could maybe have been waiting for like months to take
his parents. But he wasn't waiting months for a reservation
at that place. No, he was. No. In fact, it's

(18:36):
one of the places that I'm sure that they stand
out on the sidewalk with a menu and usher you in,
say we got specials here. So I feel like I
really feel like I did a bad thing because I
came between a mother and a son. Because then the
mother and the mother is gonna be like, this is
what you're think of me. You're taking me right to
this place. Scary Yeah, scary, Jones said. Trash scary said,

(19:00):
these twelve places are better, right, I mean, if you
want to eat out of a paper container, God bless you.
So I said, I said, I said to the mother,
I said, I'm so sorry. I'm like, I said, I
don't mean to intervene. I said, but you did ask
my opinion, right, and I gotta be honest, that was
my opinion. Right. So now they're gonna try one of
the twelve restaurants on my list. The kids. The price
is the price point the same of you your restaurants

(19:21):
in that place. Some of them are I feel like not,
I feel like you're recommending more more dollars signs on Yelp.
She wants, she wanted the best. That's what that's two
dollar signs, yeah too. Yeah. Maybe I had a couple
of three dollar signed places for her that maybe one
four Yeah, yeah, I don't spend. If you're coming to

(19:41):
Jersey City, I want to show you the best of
Jersey City. I know, I know, but listen, she asked, Okay,
but I didn't you just said you're a foodie. Can
I can I address something happened at at a holiday party?
Ms the foodie, because when I think about this, maybe
you shouldn't be recommending anything to this woman. I'm gonna
paint the picture so like, forty of us went to
lunch and by the way, we it was snowflake alert

(20:03):
with snowflake alert with the picture. We'll get to that
in a minute. I'm gonna start at the end. We
had a lot of food. Went to an Italian restaurant
in the Greenwage. I'm sorry, little literally sat town called
four Lanes. Old World nineteen fifties looks like nineteen fifty
they have They haven't fixed a place up, which is
great because it's classic looking. It looks like any old

(20:25):
like like an all neighborhood. This is the way the
places looked back in the day. Great guys run the places.
Derek and his a cousin. All right, I forgive me
Derek's cousin, I can't remember your name, but both great guys. Anyway,
After we eat, Derek says, oh, you're not gonna have
a dessert, and so we're like, oh stuffed, can't I
can't even. We gotta tie and cheesecake here, you gotta

(20:45):
have a piece. So Scary goes all tie and cheesecake
because you love it. China cheese. Who doesn't love it?
Time and cheesecake. It's fluffy, it's well somehow, Well, hold
on a second, if I may interrupt for a second,
I would never dump to putting on their coats right
and getting up, and I'm like, okay, yes, we're not
staying for dessert. I usually this is the part of
the meal where I order a double espresso with some

(21:06):
sambuca in Molinari. Please no Romana. Romana's garbage. Monari's okay,
now what now? What if this woman's son is gonna
take it to that place to get a romano. Romano
Romano is the one with the hyper looks like the
Colosseum is on it, right, That's that's the crappy one
you can ask for. Mollinari. Trust me, if your family
is in the romana zambuca industry, make it. Don't get

(21:30):
Millonari a thousand times better than you'll thank me later.
By names Scary sitting there with like a bib tucked
in his shirt and a fork and a knife in
his hands like a five year old waiting for Stabettos
who led the charge to put on the jacket, because everyone,
this is something that you do sometimes when you just like,
is it time to go? Can we go? Who's gonna

(21:51):
make the first move? And someone does the coat reach
with the chair or the chair shuffle they like shuffle
their feet and they pull the chair out in here,
but the chairs coming up as soon as she's get
one of those, like seventeen people, well we'll bring on
put on their coats, all get up at the same time,
which leads me to believe everyone was in the fucking

(22:12):
rush to get out of there. I don't know what
was going on. By the way, there were two spouses there,
and I think it was like the spouses wanting to leave.
Whatever it was, it wasn't me because I'm ready for
some sample of the forty people. Thirty eight well up,
Scary was down and one or two people were standing
around Scary. So Derek brings over the cheesecake, which, by

(22:34):
the way, I did not order, so where it came from.
You have a reputation. The cheesecake fell out of the sky. Nobody,
by the way, they would have broken. The table was
a massive was given the menu. No one ordered dessert.
I was to get up with everybody. So I'm standing up.
I'm like, I guess we're leaving, so I put my
coat on. And then then Derek came from boom, big
cheesecake right in front of Scary. But it wasn't just

(22:57):
a cheesecake. It wasn't an American cheesecake, which is made
of cream cheese cheesecake, right that is. I hate cheesecake,
but tag and cheesecake and my favorite. I love all cheese.
Gotta taste of like a tinge of vanilla in it. Okay,
so good. So Scary starts. He's forking it down pretty

(23:20):
fast and he gotta have some, and it's falling out
of his mouth. He's like onto the table. There's chunks,
like there was a food fight. But it was also
given some to other people. I'm like, I can't eat
this by myself. And by the way, now fifteen and
the forty people are already out the door, right and
now like I got tal and cheesecake starts come back.

(23:41):
And now it's on his shirt. So he says to me, Brod,
he gotta have to cheesecake and cheese. So I said, well,
I just wanted a forkful on my way out there.
Now we've established Scary like people like to drink alone,
Scary likes to share his food. He wants everyone indulging
in the food. Yeah, I don't just want you gotta
try this. You gotta trying to make no mistake about it.

(24:01):
I share my food, right, I love it. By the way,
Scary got stymming at the beginning of the meal because
the menus come out and the first page had like
thirty five different appetizers to choose from. And you know, Scary,
we've established this. I'm gonna appetizes for the table. Give me,
give me three of everything over here. Whatever. Before I
go Scary appetizing for the table, he goes, oh yeah,
it gives me the wink because we were sitting diagonally

(24:22):
from each other. Before he can start placing an order,
the staff comes out with pre ordered, predecided appetizers to
put on the table. Scary's face dropped like his day
was ruined. Like I was I was gonna be in charge.
I was gonna tell you what though. Yeah, whoever did
the order, they did right. They did the right thing.
They ordered bike clams, bike clams, cold seafood sound. That

(24:44):
is my favorite. You know what. I gotta say, that's
the stuff I wouldn't want anyway. So I was okay, right,
But when he first saw the way it is coming out,
you want to wait, whoa, whoa, what what do you
do too much? I don't want people to order for me.
And then they had that that cannellini pasta with it
got in the seasing it. But anyway, that's story, okay.
And what were those little cheese puffs? They make their
like little raviolis, but they were over triple stuffed amazing.

(25:07):
This by the way, there was spinach in there, and
you ate it. I picked it out, by the way,
I cut them in half and scraped away the pot
without the green What do you think I didn't look?
Do you think I eat a pocket or anything without
looking inside? Do you think I eat a dumpling but
I open it up? Come on to the audience. I
really thought they I really thought that they put one
past Brody because he said it was the best thing

(25:27):
of his life, the best thing he's ever eaten, and
and and I'm sitting here and thinking like why can't
we for the podcast? I'm gonna tell him there was spinach. No,
you know what, you can ask Froggy. He saw me
picking it out. You picked up the spin It was
good otherwise anyway. So I said, the cheesecake ches gonna
cheesecake delicious. So I said, all right, I don't have
a fork because at this point the table is trashed,

(25:49):
everybody's eating already. It wasn't like they came around with like, oh,
here's your dessert fork and dessert spoon, because there was
no time. They were like you're leaving. He has a cheesecake, okay.
So scary see is there's an unused fork next to him,
because you know, you get a big fork, a salad fork.
You got a couple of forks, and they give you
a little little big clam fork, a little like little
poseidon fork right looks like a like a pitchfork. For

(26:11):
so he gives me. I guess it was a salad
fork that was clean, and he hands it to me,
but he grabs it with his fist and he grabs
The time's part, the fork part, the part you put
in your mouth and hands it to me, handled first,
and I went, I'm good, scary. He said, what you
needed a fork? I said, I wanted a clean fork,

(26:33):
no offense. But you just fisted my fork. But it
sounds really dirty. Since when do you care about cleanliness?
Since when do you care about germs? Since when do
you care about what am my animal? Think about it
for a second. You do filthier things and put filthier
things in your mouth that have touched filthy things things.

(26:56):
I don't put pencaps in my mouth like you do.
I don't put pencaps in my mouth. But you know
what I'm saying. You don't like what you don't think.
Everything is ski box. You don't think. I don't mind
hand jamming and cereal exactly. Hold on because you're grabbing,
and you're grabbing, you're just taking the cereal out. You're
not putting your hand and rubbing the cereal. But no, no,
but when you when you put your hand in a

(27:16):
cereal box, you go hand ford for split second. That
means your your fingers touch your mouth. Then you go back.
I don't, I don't know, I don't double hand jam.
You go back into the No, I never go back
in the box. You're surlive it gets on the cereal. Nope,
I don't go back in the box. You don't double hand.
You know that's disgusting. Alright. Also, you're sweaty meat hooks

(27:37):
after a meal, we're grabbing the fork. You're like, oh god, okay.
So I was like scared, what are you doing? I'm
so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. I apologized. You acted like
I'm surprised. You were surprised, like you had never done
it before. Brain fought sorry about that. It was that time,
there was like, no big deal. That was Monday. Tuesday,

(27:58):
Nitro ice cream comes up. What were the name of
those guys? Nitro Girl? Nitro Girl not a sponsor. They
come out from. By the way, scary goes to coincidence.
I had this conversation with Mario from a comedy department.
I was talking about They were talking about Elana's mar
set his new Broadway show Jagged Little Pill, which the

(28:19):
reviews are fantastic, and they were saying about, oh, yeah,
I'm sure she does ironic. I said, you know, half
the ship in that song is just shitty. It's not ironic.
And I and I said that to Elvis a couple
of days ago. We're talking about the jagged little pill,
and he had never heard of say that before. I said,
rain on your wedding day. That's just shitty. That's not
ironic anyway. So Fork and river right spelled fork coincidence.

(28:42):
Scary's out there all broading. Oh, he always gets there
first because he runs for the food. And he's like, oh,
what they did was at this place, Nitro girl, they
put cereal into ice cream at they home, make the
ice cream right, and then they freeze it so the
cereal stays hard in the ice cream. Outrageous. So Scary like,
oh the shot they put alcohol in some of it, right,
that was really good. So I said, oh, I don't

(29:04):
see any spoons. Scary says, oh, here's a spoon, Brody,
And he didn't do it delivered to be funny. He
grabbed the spoon by the scoopy pot and handed me
the handle again, and I got scared. What are you
doing two days in a row. You said, you've told
my mother on this podcast that I eat like an animal,
which I do not. You have no manners, and you

(29:26):
hand people handle first, handle first. That's that's new level ship. Dude,
you can't you look you do it once brain fart
twice sober. What's up with that? Yeah, I don't know
what it is. I think I'm overworked. Haven't you seen
what I've been doing lately? Yeah, you've missed eight hours.
You missed every day. You have been filling in and

(29:48):
doing the job of former member of our show, Greg T.
I have been Greg to use the schedule the best
of So we go on vacation. We've talked about this.
Let's pull the curtain back, Brody, Let's tell him what
goes on here. In order to doing days, Fri too
was taking a two week break, So the three weeks
leading up to us going away for two weeks for
the holidays, we have to edit, plot out and plan

(30:09):
so it fits in a four hour format. To go
out in a in a in a in a predetermined
set schedule where commercial breaks and and traffic and weather
reports and promos radio shows, We'll just say fuck it
and just run an entire day like we're gonna take

(30:30):
and it's gonna run the whole show. They don't even
edit it. We don't do They're like, oh, Mike's gonna
be at a comedy club tonight, Mike was just six
months ago. But they didn't edit it. No, we don't
do that. In this show. We edit, we take out
timely references. That makes sense, plane like, oh that was
those eight minutes were funny. Let's make that the best, right.
So back in the day, producers, Sam will take the

(30:51):
twenty minute conversation on the radio, make it like eleven
or twelve minutes so it's streamlined and all quality. And
then back in the day, Greg T the frat book
by or Greg T or Carolina with Gregg Tea now
as it is, Uh, greg T would sit in the back,
go through this giant book of of all the things
we've done and what time we did it, because if
it ran at six forty on our show, we'll running

(31:12):
today twenty different audience. Usually he plodded it out neatly,
but he and Scary would yell. He would go, Scary,
you know, eleven minute bit for this segment, and Scary
give him choices and great, no, it's no guard. We
already talked about relationships. I need a different but it
worked out. They would fight like like Ernie and Bert
we call them from Sesame Street. They would just fight.
It was great. Always worked out great, well well great.

(31:33):
And by the way, that was Greg T's job, mainly
air that he was when he was sitting there at
his desk, when he wasn't doing fantasy football on Tuesdays
for his way of time, he wasn't on the air,
he was back there and he was getting these shows
ready right. Well, now he doesn't exist anymore on the
show by our show, and so b Boom scary used
to do it with him. Now you do it by yourself.

(31:54):
And now I'm like dying here because I'm spending four
or five hours a day after the shows for in fact,
when this podcast is over already we started, this started,
we started three hours late. It's a quarter after three
where we are, yeah, where we were calling now, Yeah,
it's after And I was supposed to work for the
Community Department at two and I was supposed yeah, and
I'm not gonna And by the way, I got more

(32:14):
to do, and I got to hop a flight tomorrow.
By the way, Spruce was gonna stop by at some point.
We have that new Spruce intros. You'll make sure you
pull it up. Pull it up. We've got some things
to talk about. I got I got a massive corporate rant.
I want to get to It's holiday time and by
the time you're hearing this right now, I don't know
if it's gonna be too late. Hopefully, I don't think
it won't be. I don't think it will be because
it's still before Christmas and before the holidays. But you know,

(32:37):
you can get someone special something in you, someone special
in your life, a special something that they might take
for granted. Yeah, we're talking about scrubs, big scrubs, big
scrubs from the tree that yeah, or you're like your
great grandfather used to have one and used to pick
the figs off. We're talking about an actual company that

(32:58):
has made where ring hospital scrubs and doctor scrubs cool.
I mean it's for everybody. So first of all, for
the person in the medical field, check get you know
that that's like a no brainer. Give them figs scrubs
for the holidays. And if they're used to wearing those
green with the string and they're not form fitting, they

(33:21):
fall down all the time, the elastic breaks. These are
high quality, uh designer fashionable scrubs and and and they're
not just for nurses, doctors, dentists, and healthcare people anymore.
Think of them as just comfy every day person. I

(33:42):
warm last weekend just laying around the house. I put
on my scrub pants with the pockets. Were your Netflix
and chilling. I was Disney Plus and chilling Demandalorians fantastic,
by the way. Uh And I was wearing the scrub
bottoms one day over the weekend, and I slept in
the scrubs top, which, by the way, you can wear out.
You can just go out what I what I like about,
especially because you know I get food on me when
I eat. We both do. It's anti microbial, so it

(34:05):
protects you from germs and bacteria. It's really soft, it's
moisture wicking, so if it's not gonna get you all
like hot and sweaty. Look, medical professionals work fifteen eighteen
hour days. Sometimes you want something that's comfortable, lets you breathe.
FIG scrubs and you know what's what's awesome is they
are a company who cares. They give back. Uh. Figs

(34:26):
give scrubs to health providers in need around the world
that let's say they can't afford them, Well, guess what
they have this threads for threads initiative. And that is
the part which I love most about Figs because every
time you go to their website, you're actually contributing to
healthcare providers in need around the world. So far, uh,

(34:48):
hundreds of thousands of sets of scrubs, you know, with
thirty five countries donated because people bought their scrubs. They
donated scrubs. You mentioned the websites, it's where figs dot
com w E A R figs dot com. Of course,
if you put in our code boys, you get off
your purchase, your first purchase. Uh, just using the code boys,

(35:11):
you know, use the code boys off at where figs
dot com. How about that? How about that right hand? Right?

(35:31):
All right? I got some audio clips. I have some
unused jokes you want to want to want to run
through some audio clips? Yeah, alright, So on the on
the on the on the clips page I got. I
made them waving to us outside the glass. Yeah, that's
Cooper aar and from w R who used to work
with us and see many years ago. Okay, so I
got them. They're all in red. I made them in red.
You tell me which one you want to play on

(35:51):
the Brooklyn Boys clips? Okay, tell me which one you
want to play? How about mac? Okay? So man Crates
is a great company, So this is not anything bad
about band Crates um. In fact, they're gonna be advertising
with us on Elvistran in the morning show. There are
a subscription service where you get it. They're not my
client in the atisode. I'm not promoting them. But this
commercial came on. I want you to hear it, and

(36:13):
I'll tell you why I caught my attention. It's a
it's a monthly gift of like cool stuff for you
for I guess for your man, but he's uh the
sales pitch. Well, I don't know about you, but maybe
some of the guys in your life are hard to
shop for, whether it's your dad or your brother. I
find it that I kind of get stuck. But I
do want to give a unique gift to my brother
or my dad. Well you gotta check out man Create.

(36:36):
She says, I want to give a gift to my brother,
not a creative gift to my brother or my dad.
So she's only given a creative gift to one of them.
I got a problem with that. I got a problem
with that. I'm going I think she should buy two
and get him for both. All right, you know I
played the other one played the pajama grams. One plays

(36:59):
Christmas is knocking on the door. Are you still looking
for that special gift for your wife or girlfriend? Okay?
Are you looking for a special gift for your wife
or girl? So that means anybody else? No, that applies
you have a wife and a girlfriend. No, yes it does.
Play it again, Christmas is knocking on the door. Are

(37:19):
you still looking for that special gift for your wife
or girlfriend? Yeah? I want to job. I'm gonna get
a set for my wife, except for my girlfriend. You're
you're you're literally this is a literal translation. That's not good.
You're not doing this. No, you know you're off. I
think they could have rephrased knife or girlfriend. How are
you looking for a gift? Maybe for the woman in

(37:41):
your life? Your wife or if you have a girlfriend,
if you're not married. Okay, they only have sixty seconds
to talk, so they're gonna get ripped for Play it again.
You tell me you don't hear what I'm here. Christmas
is knocking on the door. Are you still looking for
that special gift for your wife or girlfriend? Yeah? You're crazy.
You're you're crazy, you're nit picking. If I want to

(38:02):
if I want a gift for my wife, all my girlfriend,
I'll go there. What else you got dred yards? Okay?
So do you know what um when you project stats
in any math, right, if you like, if that guy
gains ten pounds every week, you're gonna go you know what,
it's probably gonna gain sixty pounds in six months. So
in sports, they'll go at the at the at the
halfway point, they'll say, he's got thirty home runs, he's

(38:25):
on pace for sixty because if you double how many
games he's played, it's sixty. Right on pace means mathematically,
based on what he's done so far, this is what
he's going to get. That's it math. Listen to what
this guy says. This is a guy that was on
pace for what hundred receiving yards maybe more, maybe more.

(38:45):
You're on pace for fourteen hundred. You can't be on
pace for fourteen hundred maybe more. You can if if
you accelerate. What if next week he throws more, but
then the pace then the pace changes, the pace changes, right,
But he's he's he's saying next week he he's going
to improve his performance even more, that maybe he'll be
on pace for even more. He's saying currently, he said, currently,

(39:08):
currently he's on pace for fourteen hundred yards or more.
You can't say or more. What are you smoking? I'm
not smoke anything. These people three strikes on this one.
No no one, no no. Usually I'm with you on
the grammar ship. You know that you know him right
on the right there with this is you can't say
you're being nit plus you say pace once, you say pace,

(39:28):
the guy's on pace, And give me this again. I
don't believe this was on pace for what four hundred
receiving yards maybe more? You can't be this guy is
the guy who was on pace for fourteen hundred yards
or maybe more. No, he was on pace. There's a
pace there. Or he could be unsure of how many
yards he was on pace for. So he's covering his ass.

(39:51):
Was on pace for what four hundred receiving yards maybe more?
Maybe Okay, So let me interpret it that with maybe
he didn't have his statue in front of him. He's
like in his head, he's thinking like maybe he was
on page for like one thousand, four hundred fifty yards
um but I just had the word fourteen hundreds, so

(40:12):
I'm gonna say maybe more to cover myself. I don't
like to hear defending people don't like it at all.
But I don't like that. This is why the Beatles
broke up, just being logic because now listen with that
ear was on pace for what fourteen hundred receiving yards
maybe more. He he obviously didn't have handle a handle

(40:34):
of the facts. He didn't know the English language, he
didn't know no nothing, nothing in front of him buying it.
He didn't have the answers in front of him. So
he's covering himself, not liking it. Got one more clip there,
that's all. I got a son of a bitch that
really that's it? Yeah, oh oh yeah, there's this one.
Peter Millard would like to introduce the Gentleman listening to

(40:55):
their twenty nineteen summer favorite, The Peter Millard because the
Peter I tell I want to tell you what the
listeners are slices, by the way, what you've been doing lately.
Anywhere we go now in a meeting where meeting with
that guy out there, that scar he goes so is
the head of our sales team. And he one hundred.

(41:15):
Here in New York is Alex. We're in a meeting
with him yesterday. We're talking about getting new clients. So
Scary goes, hey, man, that shirt's really nice. Yes, say thanks,
Scary goes, that is that Peter Malar at Alex's what
are you talking about? You know, we love Peter Mallar.
We always talked about Peter on the show. He's Peter
Lar of sponsor, but now he does it it with
different places. He's like Peter Malar, yeah right, exactly, not

(41:38):
a sponsor, no, I know, but but he looked like
he was. I had that same shirt. I have a
Peter Malar shirt and it looked exactly like the one
he was wearing, so I thought that it was a
Peter Millar. By the way, here we are three months later,
still still know Peter Millar. I saw our team here.
What will it take? I don't know where is the

(41:59):
mark director of Peter More? Where are you? I don't
want to give out number. I don't want to give
out numbers. We have tens of tens of tens of
tens of tens of don't add up my tens. We
have a crapload of listeners every week to this podcast.
If every one of you, half of you, if half
of you are more or more and more. At tweeted

(42:21):
at Peter Miller and said, you've got to advertise at
the Brooklyn Boys, at the Brooken Boys. We get some
traction here. I'm just saying, let's get them on board.
What is wrong with them? Not one person show them
our podcast. People did, unless they took it as a negative.
They're like, oh no, we don't want to be associated
with those guys. I don't know. I got one last. Uh,

(42:42):
but we got to talk about our friends and tales
over cocktails. You wanna do that now? Yeah, we'll no
get talk about your one last No, I gotta get
a I got a bunch of rants. Okay, So about
five episodes ago, we have an episode called the Vadge Game. Right,
we talked about the Vadge Game. Now you guys listen
to order. But if this is your first episode, by

(43:02):
the way, God help you. This is your first episode,
so one of our I don't know one O four,
one oh five, doesn't matter, don't tweet us. Uh. We
had episode called the Vage Game and what I told
scariest story about a game where And we haven't heard
this clip. We're at bachelorette parties. By the way, I
can't even find it because they didn't label it anything.

(43:23):
But they put the cut number in the email search
by cut number. These guys unprofessional. In the Tales of Cocktails,
we love them, but when it comes to they should
have just named it the vadge game. What are they
afraid to write the vadge game? And it's vague, it's
VG like, what's the big deal? I did you find it?
You look by cut number? I'm sure, yeah, but in

(43:44):
what category? All of them? It should be under bits
t O c oh No, they coded it. They they
named it t OC clip for Brooklyn Boys. Okay, okay,
so just to reminder, just reminder the vadge game, I said,
I heard I heard this story that that at bachelorette

(44:08):
parties and at bridle showers, some women play the vage
game with a compare the width of the opening of
the orifice right, and then at the at the baby shower,
they recompare the numbers and they see who has the
least difference, and you win prizes. They hand up prizes.
I don't go to these things and so scarce like,

(44:28):
I don't. I've never heard of this thing. No, never
heard of it. It's crazy and you're talking about And
then we had Diamond from our show called a friend
of hers live on the podcast and said, hey, friend,
female friend, have you ever been a bachelor party? Would
pay the badge games? Like? Absolutely been a couple? And
Scarce like I didn't know. So the guy's over tales
of the cocktails, Astro, Wendy, Daniel de Lulo and West

(44:49):
by the way coming up West ranting about you. I
have a rant and it's it's about us. Love you. Though.
These guys heard us talking about the vadge game and
they said, oh, you know what, I'm on the podcast
with three women. I'm going to bring it up as
a topic. I alright, Well, once you do it, send
us the clip. How long is the clip? Three minutes?
We have not heard this? If not, that's the truth.

(45:10):
This isn't like a radio thing. But I mean, I think,
how is this? How is this gonna be funnier? Well?
I will play the clips the clip? Yeah, yea that
I think of your comedy. Yes, okay, I want the
orders to hear them talking about it. Okay, play the clip.
All right, let's let's play the clip. Clip. The first

(45:32):
brought this out already. Okay, alright, we're playing the clip.
Our friends the Brooklyn Boys, I guess we were talking
about in their episode one oh five I believe it was.
And how I guess some people played a badge game.
I guess it's a bunch of females at a party
or something like that. Apparently they play this thing called
the badge game, which I've been to so many baby
and bridle showers. I like this. I've never even seen

(45:55):
any of my friends badges. Okay, so I heard it.
I'm like, you know of them? It's two guys on
a podcast talking about it. I heard it. I was like,
you know what, we should talk about it here? It's
one guy. We couldn't really find anything about it. But
the only thing I did find there was, um, you
can name it. They have the yes party vage game names. Okay,

(46:19):
so actually compile the list for us. Let's hear him.
Would hope we have grant? Can you we got real? Well,
I'm not saying I'm not saying the last names. I mean,
the only last time I'm using is Danielle because she
always says Daniel delil. So it's you take the you
take the first initial, the first name in the first
initial the last name. So danielle Um, according to the list,

(46:42):
would be Harry Pouch. How did you get to Harry Potch?
You take the pace? No, I mean it's there's a website.
It's it takes this. You take the word from the
first unitial post. Malone guy his name, but it's not
a Harry Pouch because she's as a tap like nobody.

(47:03):
I got no Harry pal and I'm sorry. Astor's was
probably the funniest. Astra is crusty doughnuts, noss going on.
It's squeaky clean baby? Is that why you haven't gotten
a date? And then Wendy was whiffy pedal pedal? What's mine?

(47:36):
I'm actually going to mind mine. I wrote that down. Also,
mine would be Whiffy destroyer. And if I use J
and J for you, you would be Tuna Tuna wallet.

(47:57):
It's a good tuna. So we really don't know what
the badge game is. We couldn't figure out what it is.
We just show you. Actually, actually I think I saw
the badge game being played when I was in Thailand.
It's called the Ping Pung Show wait Game. When that

(48:21):
was round two of the Bally, we learned that it
is anything you wanted to be and the boys likely
made this thing up on that ship. That was again
our friends from Tales Over Cocktails had a long way.
They're very funny. Yeah, you gotta listen to them. Download

(48:42):
their podcast. I feel like the first couple episodes like
ours were growing pain experience right right, and then they
added the lilo and it's just mayhem every time. Now
we'll all four of them are amazing, hilarious. I I
tipped my cap, you know what, I raised my cocktail.
You and I have to say Astra and Wendy on
the show Radio Professionals, We've known him for a long time.
Who are the sweetest women and most talented women in

(49:04):
I know? I know Wendy since she was like sixteen.
Didn't she like want to be an intern and you
got an internship another radio station. I had nothing to
do with it, She wrote to me in America Online. Yeah,
in an I am and goot name was like Kiwi
Flower or something exactly, and she said, you know, she

(49:25):
wanted to talk, she wanted to radio. She saved that note. Uh.
And then she got a job at the w b
l I on Long Island, in Long Island or on
Long Island whatever, and then Astro followed suit. They worked
at the same radio station, doing nights in afternoons. Yeah,
we don't need anyway, the point is it now they're here.
But but they partnered with Daniel, who was not a

(49:47):
radio professional, and and West who's an engineer, and hold
On West. Hold On is an I guy. West is
supposed to be an I T guy, but he's also
a photographer. Yeah, the guy's great. Everything he puts his
hands on on that guy, it turns to gold. But
I should I talk about my problem with the with
I T now or wait till later? Because West is

(50:09):
all okay, okay, why don't you let so. West came
to me two weeks ago and he says, there's the
vege game thing is we're gonna talk about that. It's
gonna be a good segment. We talk about it and
do some research, see if the girls have heard about it. Whatever.
So as you could see, they did initiate a conversation
on this show which was turning out very very very

(50:31):
funny that we'll take credit for that, and then they
called bullshit on us, which I don't think. It's very
nice with friends in it. We promote them all the
time because we love the podcast. It very funny. Also
on iHeart radio anywhere you get your podcasts. Um. But
here's the thing. We did that like five six weeks ago, right, Yeah,
I made that up. I made that up. There's no

(50:53):
such thing as the vege game. But I had scary convinced. Okay,
Diamond called her friend, uh and she played along. If
you listen back to the episode where I was convinced
that there was no such thing. But then, but then
Diamond's friend gets on the phone, and I know Brody
didn't set her up. Nope, did you set her up? Nope,
you did not, because I saw her just just dial

(51:15):
the phone and put her on the fact that Diamond's
friend claimed to have played it right led me to
believe that maybe there was such a thing. Right then,
We finished the podcast that afternoon and Brody let me
off the hook. He goes, dude, it was the fucking which,
by the way, kudos to Diamond's friend for not ruining
the joke. She was she was thrown into the Listen

(51:38):
back to the how long? For thirty minutes? You were
in on it though you felt like it was I
felt like it was a thing. When when Diamond's friend
was on the phone, Yeah, said, yeah, you did not
set her. I did. I texted Diamond when she went
to go call her friend. Also, you texted her and
then she because I don't know how Diamond came in
and all of a sudden the friend was on the phone.
I thought that it was too quick. No, it was

(51:59):
all I mean. I I texted her like play along. Okay,
So you did text her right now? Yes, I had
you beat for forty minutes. Right, well, well you I
gotta give it to you, sleight of hand. Whatever you
were doing, you quickly texted her to tell you her
friend to get on board. I thought her friend just
jumped on board and was like I'm gonna go. I mean,
I also gave her the like the winky face every

(52:22):
time you looked at her in the eye when you
were looking at me was on the phone. There was
no way. So either way she must have prepped her friend.
Yeah that's great, awesome, Yeah, well you know what. Okay,
after that, Brod, He's like, because I said, look, we
gotta go back on the air in the next podcast
and just lock the audience off the hook that the
whole thing was a joke. And then he said, no, no, no,
I'm gonna give us the tales over cocktails and I'm

(52:43):
gonna and I'm gonna let them talk about it on
their podcast first, and then we're gonna play back the
audio and then we're gonna let everybody off the hook. Right.
But that, as you can see, backfire now face because
they called bullshit on us, Right, But that's okay. We
still got to do a topic and talk about us
and promote us. So that's fine, all right? Can I
talk about Wes from it? I'm talking about this whole
new thing that's going on. So we have a system here,

(53:06):
the trouble ticket system where if something breaks. Back in
the old days, I didn't like up to like two
years ago, if something broke, you said, hey, Jeff, George
west raj whatever, can you come fix my laptop? Yeah,
I'll add it to my list. I'll be there later. Well,
then corporate was like, how do we know how much
they're working every day? We don't know if these guys

(53:27):
sit around and throw darts or they're doing work. So
now at my fat head droom cardboard fath ahead of
me and through darts at by the way, you shouldn't.
That's really not a fathead picture, right, So I didn't
want to say that. Okay, but I don't get big.
I don't want to imply that they sit around throwing darts.

(53:49):
I was sort of being the tongue in cheek. You
have to go say that anyway. They do work very hard.
So now if you want them to fix something, you
have to go to a website, right, the internal website,
and you put in some information what's broken, what department,
where is it located? In a brief description, And it
used to go right to them. They would see it
pop up on the screen and it would go all

(54:10):
I'd be right there and like five minutes later, boom,
boom boom. So a couple of things went wrong this week?
Is it tast Thursday? So Tuesday, my phone doesn't log
onto the free WiFi, the I Heart WiFi here in
the building. Now, in order to get on that WiFi,
you have to work here and have a code, right,
all employees have codes. I have a code, it's in

(54:32):
my phone. I walk in it goes on WiFi. So Tuesday,
it's not going on WiFi. It's not connecting. Nope. So
they have an I heeart guest account, which is like, oh,
here's some freebee. It's like you wanted steak dinner and
they hand you like dog bones. It's the worst WiFi ever.
But you can go on like Google dot com. But
you can't go on like Twitter sites with high volumes

(54:55):
and refresh rates. It's terrible. It's like, if you want
to send an email slowly, that's fine before it uploads anything.
So the whole day, I keep trying to log in,
log in, log in, switched, I heard switched, I heard switched,
I heart. So I'm like, oh my heart's down. So
I put in a trouble ticket for I Heart. I
don't hear anything back. Later that day, like I don't know.
Nine o'clock, I'm out by the bathroom. I see Raj.

(55:18):
Raj's the head of our I T department. Right at
this point, I've texted West three times, Hey man, what's
wrong with the WiFi? No response, thanks West. So now
he's my body. So I text them, even though that's
not really the corporate way, but okay, so I see
Roger and go, hey man, what's going on with the WiFi?
I can't get on the WiFi out my phone. He says, oh,

(55:39):
uh yeah, that's a known problem. They corporate did some
things with the certificate and blah blah blah technical stuff
and Android phones have to be reset. I said, well,
wait was the email telling people at I guess corporate
didn't send the email. So I said, well, whoa, why
can't you send the email? Well, corporates and the email
all right, listen, I love you, Raj. I'm not complaining whatever.

(56:00):
Can I please get my phone fixed? He's just putting
a trouble ticket. I said, I did put in a
trouble ticket for the WiFi. Goes, we'll put it in
for your phone. Okay, doesn't say anything to me, Business
as usual. I go to my desk, I put a
trouble ticket in and uh, I says, I can't get
my phone on online. Please fix my phone. I'll be
at my desk after ten o'clock. So I see West

(56:22):
in the hallway and go hey, West, like an hour later,
Hey man, what's going on? Hey? Uh, I put in
trouble ticket. Can you get my phone back on the WiFi?
I'm not gonna put trouble ticket in. Yeah I did.
I didn't see it all right, Well, can you go check.
I'll be at my desk. I'll go to my desk.
Nothing shows up at this point, I'm gonna go do
Walkers and Talkers with Jaimie, my co host from my podcast.

(56:44):
So I go in that studio. My phone still not
on the WiFi, and uh, we have double screens, the
kind where you can drag stuff from one screen to
the other. So I gotta set up things on the
screen so I can get already, Like when you play clips,
you gotta have like a button bar or like one
of your favorite things they click on them, right, Okay,
well I can't do the podcast without that. So I
log into my account and all the important screens are

(57:05):
off the screen, where like you can see the bottom
of it, but you can't drag the bottom, don't drag
the top, but you can't get to the top. So
I'm like, well, what the hell someone changed the resolution?
You're right so on the desktop. So I go to
change the resolution back and it's all screwed up. It
won't go back to the settings, it's all messed up. Whatever,
So I text Wes and Jeff Smith or Engineering, and

(57:26):
I go, hey, guys, somebody screwed up the resolution and
to some other settings messed up. I'm doing my podcast.
Can you please come down and fix it? By the way,
I like how you going to specific detail? They do?
They need to know, they need to know what happened
broad strokes. Really, is that what this this is, this
podcast is about. No, that's what this part of the PODOCT.

(57:47):
We spent twenty minutes talking about cheesecake. But that's fun.
This is like, I don't know, I don't follow what
you're saying. If I can't understand what you're saying, let
me explain, re explain for scary the screen wasn't working.
I couldn't click on stuff, I couldn't get it. But
give them the podcast. Let's get to it. So I
text what today wroughte me back trouble ticket. Trouble ticket.

(58:08):
So I'm like, these sons of bitches. I go, guys,
come on, I'm in the middle of my podcast. Come
down and fix it. While you're fixing it, I'll go
put in trouble ticket. They're right back trouble ticket. I go, okay,
I get it. Fine, I'll play the game. I go
to my desk, I put in a trouble ticket. Come
to this studio. The screens are working. I go back
in the studio and I wait and I wait, and
I wait and I wait. I wait forty five minutes,

(58:28):
an hour, hour and ten minutes. I got These guys
must be busy. I don't know what's going on. I
text them again. I put in the trouble ticket. We
didn't get a trouble ticket. At this point, Jamie's gotta leave.
Can't do the Walkers and Talking podcast. Uh, screw you,
screw me, screw the sponsors of the podcast. Gotta go.
No Walkers and Talkers. She's in a hospital all week
doing charity broadcasts. Can't do the podcast. So I go

(58:52):
up to Raj Raj. I see West in the in
the kitchen, sitting at a table by the window, not
doing any work. I go, I don't understand what's going
on on. I see rag a garage. I'm putting in
trouble tickets. Nobody's fixing anything. I mean, I love you guys.
What's going on? He says, Oh, they change the trouble
ticket system. What yeah, Now, when you're putting the trouble ticket.

(59:13):
It doesn't go to US, it goes to corporate in Cincinnati,
and Cincinnati decides that makes sense. Cincinnati now decides in
order of importance for the whole country, who should be
assigned to what and when? So they haven't been told
into you know these people. No, No, there are people
in Cincinnati. We don't have a station in Cincinnati for

(59:35):
our morning show. I don't like the Cincinnati Reds. I
don't like Cincinnati. So okay, nobody got back. Nobody's signed
to think, well, we can't fix that. Go but I
can't do my podcast. That's the policy. Where was that
the policy? They changed it two weeks ago. Where was
the email telling people you changed the policy. Oh, nobody emailed. No,
nobody emailed because well, you should have put you should

(59:57):
have put emergency, must fix right away. How are I
know to do that? Well, that's the new policy. You
didn't tell me it was a new policy. Okay, So
at this point I gotta go home. So I go home.
It's like three o'clock, no podcast. My phone's not working
on on the WiFi, and I couldn't do the podcast.
So at at ten thirty Tuesday night, I'm getting ready

(01:00:21):
for for for Bad. I'm doing work. My phone was
in the bathroom charging and I see, like twenty minutes later,
my heart helped us called. They left a message they
wanted to know if I need any help on my phone.
Thirteen or fourteen hours later, they called me at home
at ten thirty at night to see if they can

(01:00:42):
help me. Okay, So I didn't get them on the phone.
I come in the next day and I say, hey, Wes,
can you look at my phone. I gotta put trouble
ticket in Wes. He says, uh, yeah, they didn't sign.
They've been reprogrammed, so I'm not made at So West
says to me, hey, man, just let me see your phone.

(01:01:03):
He says, you do. It was dropped us down, entered this,
put this here, cut that thought, I do all these steps.
Guess what it says cannot connect to WiFi. So he says, yeah,
you're gonna have to call the corporate help desk. I
go what So he says to me, you know what,
George our engineer. Furious George, he's he has an Android
phone like you do. Because it's an Android problem, not

(01:01:23):
because it's Android. Just put a trouble ticket in to
get to him. At this point, Well, I said, George,
can you come by or betty it, I'll come to you.
Let me look at your phone. Just I'll look at
the settings. I'll do the work. He says, you gonna
put a trouble ticket in. I got a trouble ticket
in from my buddy George, so he I said, look,
I put a trouble ticket in. Here's well, we should
have it any minute now. That was Tuesday, yesterday. I

(01:01:44):
get an email from corporate. It says, hello, David Brodie,
the ir RT Media Service Desk appreciates the opportunity to
your says you. Oh good, we're getting somewhere. Your case
I n C one six blah blah blah blah has
been resolved. If you are satisfied with this resolution, no
further action is required. If you have any questions, please
contact your HEART Media Service desk. Are you kidding me?

(01:02:04):
They closed the case? The case has been resolved? Nor
it hasn't. It hasn't been resolved and dissolved. Yes, you
didn't resolve anything. You waited two days and didn't fix
it to do it on purpose. So I'm fucking pissed.
Pisted two minutes later, I get another email from my

(01:02:26):
Heart Media Service help desk David Brody. Now they want
something from me. Would you please take a few moments
to complete our customer satisfaction survey. There are just five
short survey questions less than one minute to complete. Thanks,
our Heart Media Service desk has randomly selected closed incidents

(01:02:51):
to better monitor customer Satisfi's not closed, it's not closed.
My phone is not fixed. This is some We don't
have this problem with iPhone. It's not about iPhones. You
pricked if you have screens, wouldn't be to be much
easier if you had an iPhone and not that complicated
goddamn Android which is complicated. It's it's a second thought.

(01:03:13):
I'm sorry if you can't figure things out. I'm just
saying it's an after Android or an afterthought everywhere. And
though you've never had a problem, you follow your battery
dying softoret issue. But you know what happens here. I
don't have these corporate issues that you And what happened
to your iPhone Monday morning when you upgraded the iOS
on the way to work. What happened? All right, it happens.

(01:03:34):
What happened? No, no, that that that that that that
what happened. It took an hour and a half to update. Yeah,
but you know what, it figured itself out. I didn't
have to call on the corporate desk and put it
in them. That's a double negative. Yeah, I gotta say this. Yeah.
I think it's disgusting though, what's going on in corporate America.
How it's getting worse and worse. How you have to
email out to halfway around the country to a problem

(01:03:56):
that's gonna be fixed ten feet down the hall from you, right,
Why does it to go in terrible circle? I don't
know if they trust our guys. We have the best
engineers in the world work here. But that's when he
helps me. Is fantastic. Only answer to it in an
office in Cincinnati. Now some pencil pusher has gone. You
can go ahead and fix that now. I don't like
that a central hub decides what's important. I feel like

(01:04:16):
we're franchise and they're just sending us tomato sauce at
this point. Fuck these guys. I got some unused jokes
and I got some email. Oh you got email. I
got some stuff on the phone, so I could do
a couple of you wanta do some email and I'll
do some jokes then it let's do it. Talk like

(01:04:41):
it's mail time. Welcome, you've got mail, you can always
email us at the Brooklyn Boys Podcast at gmail dot com.
If the emails working, so many of you. Um So,
this came in from Joey p And it was a
screenshot of a video game they were playing, and they

(01:05:01):
wanted to know if the Jersey Kids submitted this. Well,
they were playing Wheel of Fortune online, okay, and it
was a party puzzle and it was chicken, sausages and salami,
but the sausages were spelled s a U c E

(01:05:21):
a g e s sauce sauages. By the way, is
something that that that the Jersey kid would submit? Robert
Creagan writes, Hey guys, this morning Tuesday, December sevent you
had Jason Derulo on the Big Show and played his
new song. I just wanted to throw it out there.
Then it sounds like Genie in a bottle. Please pull

(01:05:43):
the two together now, thanks Slice for life. Now we
gotta tell you something, Robert and we were if you
we we work here in top forty radio for all
these years, and you don't think that a hundred and
fifty people texted that, but but it's Robert we love.
It's obvious. It's one of those where you go the radio.

(01:06:03):
Guys probably know that. Probably, but it's okay, said, it's okay.
I but I went up to Jason Dulo as it
was playing, I go, dude a bottle. He's like, yeah,
you like it. I was like, oh, it's good. Kevin
Keslawski said peanuts, and you're right by the way, it's um.
I didn't know peanuts and lagoons, but they are healthful
and eating them can make you healthy. What say Brody? Well,

(01:06:25):
I mean, I'm not a dietitian, but peanuts helped lor
cholesterol I believe, right. But if you eat like salty
honey roasted, they're fattening. Yeah. I know it's the good cholesterol,
but it's still not the greatest thing if you'd eat
but in moderation, it's fine. I guess. Jason Curley saw
this on a tech website. No need to hit the jingle,

(01:06:45):
don't say it just in case scary advertises for them,
don't tweet me posted this article about Apple having a
memoji option. All I could hear is Brody saying damn
now you memoji me, you fucker anyone you just wanted
to just wanted to share parents cheg fuck following guests. Oh,

(01:07:07):
the following helped the following guests. Again, if you don't
know what if any of these references, it's because you're
not listening to order. Shame on, right, go back and
started deal. And by the way, if I know the
I Heart Radio app for Android, and here we go,
it still doesn't allow you to do it in order properly.
You can still stop it and jump to the next one,
but all other platforms were on allow you to do that.
And okay. So oh the interview for the internship when

(01:07:30):
Brody said they can interview with the other eight and
they want me to, I can interview with them ninth
I had to pull over because I laughed so hard.
I started to serve. Actually, you meant swerve. Try explain water.
Try explain that one to a cop. You want to
talk about that reference that was Yeah, so somebody said,
oh my god, I really love you shaw I listen

(01:07:51):
all the time. They started off with Dear El Scotty B. Wilson,
the cleaning guy, Mike, the guy runs that do not
caught right, and then it was like one person after me.
But I mean, come on, now, I worked really hard
interviewing interns and going through resumesing couple you just didn't rank.

(01:08:14):
Well guess what they didn't either because they didn't get
the intern Mike Felix said, okay, you need his assistance
from you guys. I need help identifying a record album jacket.
The first and last time seeing the album was somewhere
in the mid eighties. I've asked several people and Google
of the years, but always comes up empty. If you
could reach out to me via a phone call and
allow me to describe the album government, why wouldn't you

(01:08:38):
already put it in the email, send us a picture,
or maybe they don't have a picture. I promise I
will take up much of your time. I will order you,
guys a pizza of your choice if you can help
me identify. So now it's a game. Now want to
win the pizza. So I have to identify. My friend
Billy back in a day, used to call me on
leave a voicemail. Hey it's Billy. I gotta ask you
a question, But he wouldn't asked me the question. I

(01:09:02):
got something important, right, there. Why wouldn't you say, I
guess he's asking for permission to see if we're interested.
Obviously I read this, you have permission. Oh. By the way,
I got three emails and d ms this week and
text messages on the Big show that all start off
with I'm sure you're not gonna read this, but I'm
probably I know no one's gonna see this, but but

(01:09:24):
you're probably not gonna respond. But if you write you,
I know you're not gonna see this. But who is
that for? Because if I do see it, you wasted
your time. And if I don't see it, you wasted
your time. So what is the purpose of that? That's
what you say to your friend, You say, hey, Mike,
I know they're probably not gonna see this, and then
you send me an email. Don't put that in the email.

(01:09:45):
That's a sense anyway? All right? One more from fred.
I guess I just don't you should know. I'm a
Slice for Life. Currently re listening to the podcast from
zero Love It a second time around, and yes I
have an all email account, also love and fuck You two.
I was watching the show called Atypical on Netflix about
a boy with some type of autists with a boy, Michael,

(01:10:07):
don't tweet me. It turns out that Michael Rabbitport is
one of the main characters you just said. I just
really wanted him to go off and say fuck do
you you fuck? Oh? Yeah, but haven't heard it yet. Anyway,
the Michael Rabbitport show is one of my favorites. Just
thought I would share Slice for Life. You know what
I think, I think I think we got didn't with
someone send us a Michael Rappaport video. Oh here it is.

(01:10:29):
Hold on, this is Michael Rappaport. You fucking blowjob you. Okay.
Michael was getting a little political there, but he but
he said you fucking blow job you, which is what
we said. He's known for you fuck you he said,

(01:10:49):
Oh he said again. Also okay. Jamie Fezzina had his
ship up a new listener Jamie Fezzina and media specialists saying,
want to let you know, I know how much I
love your podcast. I'm a new listener. I'm the episode
number twenty two. I have to tell you that episode
twenty one when you talked about Antrovies on the Greek
Salad cracked me up. And then the Ben's and Her
song on episode twenty two is fantastic, so funny. I
can relate to everything you say. I grew up on

(01:11:11):
sixty Street and Eleventh Avenue, and then in Brooklyn, and
then moved to stan Island, and now I live in Jersey.
I am exactly Scary's age, and I find just about
everything you say so relatable. You're talking about Christmas, even sushi.
I love it because my family doesn't do the whole
fish dinner anymore either, seven fishes. It's kind of save.
It's sad if you think about it. You lost the
tradition there. I do listen to the newest episodes in

(01:11:34):
between catching up on old ones. I would love it
if you email that I like that Happy Thanksgiving? Why
you're listening to the new ones? Just listening between the
old ones. She's gonna hear this sooner than later. How
is there an in between Merry Christmas? Order? Okay, listen
to order? All right? All right? Right? So here's some emails.
Here we go. Uh. This one is from Live Chic

(01:11:54):
s h G A K or Lip Chic, Love All
Your Rants. This is to me Love all your Rants,
huge free dessert all over here. But I had to
send you this riddle this, riddle me, this question scary?
Maybe you could help. I just took a phone survey
for a company, and its stated on your phone keypad.
Please rate your score of how great the service was
between zero and ten, tend being the highest. Maybe I'm
missing it, but with only using one key stroke? How

(01:12:17):
do you give a ten? How do you give it? Ten?
Is a riddle? What what is this? You do you
have to you're not paying attention? How do you give
a ten with one key stroke? You can't on your
phone physical possibilities? Rate your score of how great the
customer service was between zero and ten, tending the highest
and only one key stroke? You have? You need the

(01:12:39):
one thing because if you hit the one right, So
that doesn't make sense unless unless they're counting to zero
as ten. Yeah, the zero is ten. I can go
for the zero because you can't go less than one.
So it's got to be between one and zero or
zero and nine. No, because but if you look at
the keypad, it goes one, right, But okay? Uh? Joel

(01:13:05):
at Diamond Joe Elka at David Brodie, I need your
rant music playing for this one. The post office delivers
a postcard to my mailbox, saying it's too icy to
deliver my mail. Then how did you deliver the postcard?
Couldn't you just bring the mail with the postcard? Dick,
you suck good good point Uh highway explore free dessert.

(01:13:27):
Question a flower company, How the hell do you make
a decision on changing a delivery date without notifying the customer,
then trying to deliver eight days later? Your customer service
keeps telling me it's okay and they will deliver What
the funk a week between? A week later rather from
what I ordered it? So I said, you deserve a
full refund. Three flowers accept nothing less. Explained to them

(01:13:50):
it was a birthday present and it's useless. A week later,
he said, they keep pushing me to accept them. A
week later, their manager is too busy to call me back.
I d M them. They said they'll call me tomorrow.
I said, if they come a week later, they had
better be a free gift plus a gift card. Uh,
they've better be free plus a gift card to keep
you as a customer. If you were getting these for

(01:14:10):
a birthday, that birthday has passed. It's ruined, they wrote back. Update.
After arguing with them, they gave me a full refund uh,
plus a twenty dollar gift card. And I said, here's
what you're gonna do for me. And I had them
a call and apologize to my girl for their mistake.
She tried to be nice, but they pushed her buttons.
And then she got them to send her flowers as

(01:14:31):
an apology, uh. And two days later flowers arrived. There
you go, good news, all news jokes. When me come
back in the New year, I would hey, Merry Christmas,
Happy New Year. Boys, boys,