#114: Jerking Out Flicking Out and Dipping Out

#114: It's Brody's birthday and Skeery tries to help Brody get a reservation for his bday dinner at a restaurant that's fully booked; The boys analyze common phrases and explain why they make no sense; Brody's buddy hated the comedy show he convinced him to go to;

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Start dat Up, Star Up Brooklyn by Start Up Brooklyn,
buy that data. They're making Noise Data up. Episode on
my birthday, Happy Birthday, Broody, Thank You Good Boys podcast. Yeah,

(00:23):
I just want to get that out there now, throw
out there because I'm working on my birthday for the people.
You really are. I gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at
your schedule for today. I'm like, dude, where's the let up?
Where where you're usually? You're not gonna go home. You're
not gonna do nothing that you gotta work for the people?
Do you do? You don't really have to go I mean,
I was kind of excited earlier when Elvis is like, dude, scary,

(00:43):
your birthday's Monday. Take it off. My birthdays next Monday.
So your birthdays today, why don't you take off for
your prost? Of all, who's gonna hang out at seven
am in the morning? That's redundant. But who's at seven o'clock?
Who in the morning? Who's gonna what am I gonna
do eight o'clock in the morning? Call my buds up, Hey,
you want to hang out before you go to work?
First of all, I don't have anyth that's my birthday

(01:06):
I'm everybody. My kids are in school, my wife's at work.
Where am I going? Let me do sleep late to work.
I got a cake out of the deal under the
twelve hours to go here you I mean, yeah, I
have seven more hours for it worked for the Comedy
Department parody. We could have did wrote Super Bowl songs yesterday.
We could have done the podcast, and then you could
have dipped. You didn't want to do that. Well, we

(01:27):
haven't done the podcast yet, so after this podcast is over, well,
if I did, you put your hand up on your hip.
By the way, I feel like dip you're going into something.
I feel that's the wrong choice of words for leaving.
But that's what people say. I don't think that makes sense, though,
I'm sorry, I gotta dip. No, that's like when you're
like you when people say you luck out, but you're
getting luck. No, you dip, you dip, You dip out

(01:49):
of a place now, but you don't dip out of tips.
You dip into the salur cream which I hate sing
but I dip into the the uh, the salsa you
dip into you know, dip out of sauce. You dip
into sauce, right, But in this. But but when people
say they're leaving a party, people say, people say ship.
They make up phrases. That doesn't mean anything. It doesn't
make it right. The problem with when someone says that

(02:12):
they knocked out last night, they knocked out. Well, knocked
out means you fell asleep. Yeah, you fell asleep. You
you knocked out, you passed out somebody but you But
you know. But your analogy to what I just said.
If you know how the analogy game works, is you
have to say something that knocked in. He was like, Oh,
I was so tired. I was. I passed in. But
you slept in. If I slept in, you slept out. Nope,

(02:35):
you slept in. You slept in your bed. Sorry, I sorry,
I slept in, meaning when you missed something. Yeah, I
slept in. I slept in the house. I missed my
alarm clock. Right, but you slept in. But dipping is in.
You dip into things you can't dip out. Why not?
That doesn't make any sense. You don't dive out of
a pool. Hey, listen, I didn't create the terminology. People

(02:58):
say it. I don't care what they say it. I
have to go along with it. You make up all
the words you want, they don't make. I still didn't
make I'm still fighting against lucked out. Oh, man, you
lucked out, you lucked out. That means you're out of luck.
That's the opposite of what it means. Doesn't make any sense.
You should looked in, man, you looked in, you locked in.
You got a lot of luck. You you lucked in
like the luck is in you. You got luck, and

(03:20):
you're full of luck. You don't say you're empty of luck,
out of luck, lucked out, out of luck, and lucked
out of the complete opposites of each, and they shouldn't be.
I locked out, I'm out, I'm out out of luck.
You look into things way too much. If you check out,
you're out right checking out right. You go into a hotel,
you check in, true checking you check out right. So

(03:41):
if you you luck in, you shouldn't be luck out.
Doesn't make sense. You can dip out of a party
the same way you're checking out of a hotel. You
I'm checked out, man, I'm keeping out. You're you flicked out.
You could flick out like I'm flicking myself out. So
let's create something new and just did I just did?
You just heard me create something with flicking. Flicking. You're

(04:04):
flicking out, yeah, because like you know, when you flick something,
it's like flim out. I'm done. You flick a bugger,
you flick a little chip on the table. I'm flicking out.
That makes more sense, Yo, let's flick that. We should
start that. I think we just did. We just flick.
But I like to be like, we should come up
with something that's a great idea, scary, just to cover
something else. I told you, did I talk about that
that I would try In the in the nineties, I

(04:25):
tried to create a phrase. Didn't work. Phrase was like
when like a girl's like on your ship, like John
your k so they're bothering you, like people on your
on your case like I was like, So my phrase
was get off the jeans, like get away from my pants.
Don't look at my just get off the jeans. Get
off you, get off the jeans. Like in other words,
you're too close, you're on me, you're on my strap,
you're on my you're trying to get on my on
my sounds like you're mash debating under your clothes. Get

(04:48):
off your genes, get off onto my jeans, getting off
onto the genes. See now, would you say get on, like, oh,
I'm gonna get on, get it on right? Get it
on right? Is having sex? Right? Let's get it on?
No jerking off? You're getting on? Are you jerking on?
You're jerking on and off? But what's the off part?
You're jerking on something two motions. It's on, off, on, off. No,

(05:11):
you're jerking. Your hand is on down. After you're jerking,
your hand is on right, and then whatever happens at
the end of that lands on something. Where's the off?
There's no off? Doesn't make any sense to you either. No,
I mean, listen, it makes a lot of sense to me.
Get me wrong. I don't think about it. While I'm
thinking about it, I'm just saying the term jerk off.

(05:32):
It's like it's all jerked out. See jerk out would work?
Jerk out was a song from the eighties. It was
a bad fucking R and B song. Okay, but wouldn't
you make no sense? Think about it? Jerk out? What'd
you do? I jerked out? Jerked? Yeah, you jerked something.
Something came out. You jerked out. Don't worry. I'm not
looking for help from the outside because you're jerked empty, right,

(05:54):
you don't jerk or you're not off anything. There's no
there's no often jerk off. No, unless you're hit in
the light switch with it. What's the off part? There's
no off? Wow? Have you ever dip to go jerk off?
You have a dip out the jerk off? I feel
like it sounds like I would flick I would flick

(06:14):
out to jerk out. We do that parties. This party
is this party is uh parties for ship We should
flick out? Okay, the what are the phrases are there
that I hate? Ginormous? Hate it? You've wasted my time
with ginormous because you took two words that meant ginormous,

(06:36):
combined them together and created nothing new. Okay, No, you
did because ginormous means it's bigger than both those words combined,
so it's the largest. It's not bigger than both gigantic
and enormous. So that would be like a like two
times that that's ginormous both words. So if somebody's fat
and chubby and I call him fubby, does that make

(06:57):
them fatter? If they're at Do you have a problem
with zero fox given? No? Because I don't give a
fuck zero, Right, I don't get I don't give a fuck. Now,
if you said I couldn't give a fuck, fine, But
he said I could give a fuck, that's wrong. Then
you could give a funk. If I don't, I don't
give a fuck. Right. But if you say I could
give a funk, that's the same as I could care less.

(07:19):
If you If you said I could give a fuck,
then okay, that means you you care enough to give
a fuck. Okay, right? What about what about spilling the tea?
Spilling the spill the tea. That's like, you know you
have some I understand. The team means that some news
or some gossip. I understand with some gossip. So you're

(07:40):
spilling it right me? Hear it? Right? But if you
were drinking the tea right, right, if you're spilling it,
if I'm listening, I'm drinking it right. But if I
but but if it was reversed, if you're like, dude,
you got gossip, I'm gonna drink the tea. It doesn't
make any sense. You want to spill it so the
other person can see it. You want to spit it out,
You want to vomit that tea out. Vomit the gossip.

(08:01):
Vomit the gossip would be a good website. Vomit the gossip, right,
my favorite muppet. By the way, remember vomit the gossip.
You shook right now, I'm woke. You woke or you
swoll I'm never swollen except when I'm jerking out, by
the way. Okay, so so on this This is what
happens plant another We didn't planet ship. No. People say

(08:22):
when they're having a great day or they're like al
that they arrive in a in a new country and
it's a beautiful sunny day, or they're on the beach,
they say, what a time to be alive? Well, well,
shouldn't that be every time? I mean, it's not just
today that it's a great time to be alive. I
mean I would hope that a time to be alive
would be any time you're breathing. Well, I would rather

(08:43):
be alive than dead. But I think the point is, like,
if I had to live any time in any decade,
like this is a bit of time, Like you don't
want to live during the time of the plague right now.
I don't think anyone during the plague was going what
a time right now? In China. Do you think that
people with the masks? And by the way, is a
picture in Today's Daily News in New York is in
New York, and I'm sure if you google it you'll
see it. You know, the water bottle jugs. They're cutting

(09:04):
the bottles off the bottoms, I think, And they're wearing
water jugs on their head with the open spout at
the top like an antenna to cover their faces and
they can breathe out the top. I think. I don't know.
I didn't read the article. Don't tweat me. The point is,
do you think those people with the bottles the water
jugs on their head are going? By the way, that
was me and a water bottle, not me making fun
of an Asian accent. You snowflake bastards. By the way,

(09:27):
can we talk about me Safonia for a second? Problem
with that? I got the jingle allright. By the way,
these are they loaded our studio with uts pretzels out
of Philadelphia. By the way, that Philadelphia area Uts is
a sponsor the Opstair Morning Show, not a sponsor in
the Broken Boys podcast. So we used to play a

(09:48):
game called Who's chewing those chips? Right? And whenever we
had chips, we would run out too that. We would
run down to the vending machine and play who's chewing
those chips? Right? And someone would go and you'd have
to guess which person on the show those chips? Right? Well,
who's eat nuts? Who slurp nuts? Beginning by the seven
going bat ship? Right now bat Ship. So the point

(10:11):
was Uts came in and there's a rack here, but
no joke. We'll put pictures up tomorrow on Friday one.
It's like fifty flavors of US chips. We're not getting
paid for this. I'm just telling the story, I promise.
And so it looks like a grocery store set right.
I mean you look at you walking into a grocery store.

(10:32):
I mean it's filled with cheeseballs and kettle. I had
no idea had this many flavors. They got a lot again,
not a commercial chips. The point was, I said, I
have an idea, why don't we play who's chewing those chips? Tomorrow?
And I was told, now, too many people have me Safonia,
and we'll get offended and hurt and they won't listen. Yeah,

(10:59):
Safia is, by the way, is when you well let's
put this way, and just were grossed out of what
Brody just did, like like the oldest to the proble
where you couldn't listen to it, then you have me.
It's it's a real condition. Now phony is in the name,
but it's a real thing, and I get it. I
have sympathy for anyone that has anything wrong with them,
but I feel like the world needs to go on occasionally.

(11:19):
Yeah right, Like I know this peanut allergies, but I
still want to eat peanut butter occasionally. Now, if you
can't have airborne peanuts, I will not eat them around you.
I totally get that, But Messafoni, I don't want you
to turn the radio off. All right. So, but we
have ten million people listening a ten million people. How
many people, I don't know, but you know what, the
fact that there's even one means that there's some snow

(11:41):
Flix out there that will be offended. So we can't,
but they'll be offended for the mesasa um from the
Latin They're crazy to the max. My favorite cartoon back
in the nineties, Wariens. Yeah, what if this someone who

(12:05):
has who can't tolerate uh nationality names being mangled? Right?
Now they're going a not nationality, but any kind of
word like wordplay that people could snowflake us on us
at any point at any time. We just gotta be
very careful. You gotta be very careful about what we're saying.
You can't very careful. Do not offend the snow flakes, Brodie,

(12:27):
Come on, you know better. Now. I think that's your birthday.
You should be able to do this on your birthday,
at least, at the very least on your birthday. You
should be able to at least say what's on your
mind without anybody complaining. Can I recap speaking in fact,
it's my birthday. Just every time I think about the
word birthday, I think of I think it would happened
to me in the first grade. So this is not

(12:48):
gonna be about you. Well, you can go to you.
I mean, it's my birthday, but birthday's Monday. I was
just wondering, birthday's Monday. I wonder if you had any
any embarrassing birthday moments or things that happened on your
birthday that we just I guess not as bad as
a story you're dying to tell, So go ahead. I'm
not trying to tell anything I said, I'm gonna I
wanted to recap slightly the rant and conversation we had

(13:12):
on January thirty, Today's Elba Strand fifteen minute morning show.
We talked about how I couldn't get reservations from my
and my wife's birthday. We have our birthday's, Melissa. My
wife's birthday is the same as yours, and so my
birthdays today and so the day that's equidistant roughly Saturday, right,
it's two days going back, right, right. So I wanted

(13:35):
dinner reservations at a restaurant three weeks ago, and they're like,
we have nothing we can do. We can do like
four thirty pm roughly or nine o'clock o'clock. So I
hit them up on social media. No response. A lot
of our slices love you guys, they all tweeted at
this restaurant. No response. I'm gonna call them right now.
I d M them, no response. I'm gonna call them.

(13:55):
You're not gonna call him. You have the number ready,
I'm gonna call him right now. On pot. I don't
think we should call them right now. I was gonna
be my birthday present to you, making you a reservation
for a steak paid for. Yeah, we don't get credit
for that. No, I mean, I'm gonna make you steak
dinner reservation. So we got a couple of text messages
today on the on the Big Show, and they said, well,
if Scary takes you out of steak dinner for your birthday,

(14:17):
does that count as your steak dinner? And I said, no,
that would be my birthday steak dinner. It doesn't matter.
They know. Everybody knows they listen to the morning show.
I just they're not going to be there at twelve o'clock.
You don't think so, not on Thursday. I think we
should find out what Right now, people listening on a
on a Saturday night, they're listening to this podcast at
eight o'clock. They're like, why why can't you call now

(14:40):
it's Saturday at o'clock because that's not when we recorded. Okay,
we want to put them on. Yeah, I feel awkward
about it. Why not? You're not gonna pull the Elvis
Rand card, are you. I'm gonna do what I need
to do to get you and your reservation in there.
Might if not, we already have dinner plans at an
equally wonderful restling those are cancellable. I don't need to cancel.
I'm gonna beg to get into a good thing and

(15:00):
give me dirty looks. See this is what you would say,
they'll spit my food. And thank you for calling Rails,
New Jersey's premier steak Please press one rail for our dress.
Press three. This sounds like a sex pressure. Did you
remain on the line because I can't response. You can't

(15:23):
press buttons. You press everybody's button. God, thank you for
calling Rails Steakhouse, steakhouse. And how my sister Allison, how
are you? Um? This is pretty good. Thanks, I'm doing
well today. To um, this is scary Jones. I'm with
the Elvis Duran Morning Show in New York City. How

(15:44):
are you doing? Okay, I'm doing okay. I promise this
is not a phone tap. I swear to God, but
I want I swear. I wanted to do a favor
for a friend. Uh who's on the show, you know,
David Brody on our morning shop. I think I've heard
of his name. Okay, you know, you know he's been
trying to get he's been trying to get a reservation

(16:05):
for four people to the steakhouse for Saturday, and uh,
because it's it's his birthday and his wife's birthday. They
having a double birthday. And he he called you guys
about maybe three four weeks ago and all of it,
and they found out then that there was no reservations
really available, uh during a prime time for Saturday night.

(16:27):
But I figured I would give it one last ditch
effort to see if maybe something might have come available.
I know you guys have cancelations. People change their mind,
that happens. Yeah, is there a way that we can
get him in there. He's not looking for a free
ride or anything like that. He was just looking for
a reservation for four at a prime time. And when

(16:51):
is the ad? It's this Saturday night. By the way,
you guys, I know you're pretty popular place. But why
I'm kind of curious why, uh why is it so
full this specific Saturday or is that just every Saturday?
Basically every Saturday, every Friday? Right? You guys have you
have the secret sauce right there? I don't know, it's

(17:14):
just speak easy and just the atmosphere, yeh um rafters right? Okay,
So yeah, so he's been tweeting at you guys, do
you guys check your social media. Um, yes, they do
check their social media. Yes, who's the social media person? Um?
I believe it's Pat who check us to social media? Pat?

(17:37):
All right, well Pat, Pat's been ignoring every every everybody.
I got listeners. We've talked about this at nausea um
our listeners have been trying to get through to you guys,
and and and tweeting at at you guys on social
media everything like crazy and it was, and nobody's respond
nobody's in responding. He's even DMed you guys to say, hey,
please help me out. Oh really okay, right, so what

(18:03):
do you so? What what do you? What do you think? Um?
Just when me? Please? You on hold? Okay, okay, thank you?
Right now, I want to talk like I'm like I'm
if she recognized the different voice right in to Waco,

(18:24):
New Jersey. I just got your reservation social welcome. You're welcome,
and that's your stick. No it's not does not count. No,

(18:50):
it's all the problem having with my Alexa. Good afternoon,
rail stickhouse. Mike speak him out. Hey, Mike, I was
on hold, young lady. You was helping me, uh put
me on hold? Did she pass along my call to you.
You know what, it automatically rings down to the office here.
I'm sorry, Oh that's okay, Well, maybe I can help you.
My name is David. Uh. I was been trying for

(19:11):
a number of weeks to get a reservation for this Saturday. Uh.
And the only times that were like it was like
four or forty five and like ten o'clock at night,
and I was just seeing if anything was available. I've
I've tweeted you guys a bunch of times. I haven't
heard back. I d M your account, I didn't nobody
got back. I don't know if anybody runs you social media.
But yeah, actually actually for this this past week, actually

(19:32):
the persons in Mexico on vacation. But because I had
like thirty people tweet at you and uh Saturdays. Uh yeah.
The best way to get ahold of this is obviously
through our through our website or just call. Yeah. No,
I did call it, but I figured, you know, try
social also, you know. Yeah, I know, we haven't. I know,
Saturday has been been really busy. How many people it's four?

(19:54):
See here here's the thing. What's your name, sir. I'm
sorry to bother you. Mike, Hey, Mike. Sorry, it's my
birthday today. A. And it's my wife's birthday Monday, thank
you very much. And my wife her birthday's Monday. We're
so Saturday is right in the middle, and Rails is
her favorite restaurant, and so she said pick a place,
and I said, let's go to Rails, because she goes
there all the time and I have not been there yet.

(20:16):
And every time she goes with a friend, she's like, oh,
we gotta go, we gotta go. So it was my
job to call three weeks ago and get a reservation,
and I have been unable to do that. Can I
figure it as we get closer, I give it a shot,
all right, we'll getting closer hard. Three weeks ago A
three weeks ago. Yeah, they told me you've locked up
late and early. Let me just I'm just opening up

(20:38):
the reservation system now. Thanks. So only only are so
you only have the one guy checking the socials. That's
too bad. Um, Let me spend some time work seeing
if I can't move stuff around. Let me see what
I can do. I'll give you a call back. That
would be great. Mike, appreciate it, all right, take care?

(21:00):
All right? Okay, by the way, I got news for you.
She transferred the call or the call bounced to him
without the Elvis Duran show and Scary Jones magic touch.
That's what happened there. Well not, Well, the problem is
you got this guy on the phone, but I'm not
gonna tell him she's from. Maybe you still go to him,

(21:22):
Maybe she'll tell him now. Yeah, well I guess the
two are gonna now talk. But she he clearly don't know.
He clearly didn't know. She was like, I've heard the name,
so she was smiling. I heard it in her voice.
But here's the thing. If they get me a table
not knowing where I work, and I don't we're working here,
I shouldn't get a table for that. I know it's
a bill because it's your birthday. Yes, absolutely, that's why

(21:43):
it's a double birthday, right that being said, And by
the way, you're gonna pay full price. Of course, it's
not like you're hanging with me. Yeah. If I get
it and they make room for me, that means there
was room. Not really, unless they put us up against
the next table so close that you don't that you

(22:05):
want to die. You didn't allow me to make the connection.
I can't allow you because that got no, because you
want to scary that guy. Okay, can we can we
tell the Brooklyn Boys audience what you did? I said
on the fifty minute morning show. Uh, Scary called up
a restaurant years so it's right. That changes everything because
it was years ago. Scary called up a restaurant to

(22:26):
make reservations for Elvis Duran plus one. Right, he gets
to the restaurant. It was never for Elvis durand was
for Scary and his girlfriend. He gets here and he
says checking in for Albus durand h plus one. They go, oh, uh,
you don't Alvis Durrand. No, I was his plus one,
but Elvis is sick tonight, so I brought a plus one.
But I was on the reservation all time. I was
the plus one. They were like, oh yeah, all right, okay,

(22:48):
well here's the problem with that. My girlfriend and I
were celebrating an anniversary and I will go to any
length to get the table in the hot restaurant because
that's the restaurant that we wanted to go to. Restaurant restaurant.
Yeah yeah, but you lied and said you amas trying.
See what you did here was I had to get
I had to use the power of the show this time.
Just now, well I use my own name this right,

(23:11):
But you said you're from this show. Dropped the name.
But what you from somewhere right right? But what you
did last time was you claim to be the man himself.
Well that was years ago. You bat you bait and
switch them, is what you did. I needed to get
that res that was for It was for an an anniversary.
It was a special occasion. I will go through any
length speaking of reservations. But hold on, I'm I want

(23:33):
to just say that one other thing that you know,
you know and I do. He uses everybody uses something
to get ahead, but nobody calls us like, hey, I'm
Mike from Do you know how many people will call
a restaurant that it's impossible to get into, and they
will they will use someone to call it, and then
they'll they'll they'll add on, oh, and I'm a doctor,

(23:54):
oh and on a lawyer or because if you add
these suffixes to your name or whatever or some kind
of a prefix, the suffix and the doctor no doctors,
no no. At the end, you have a like you
want to don to tag your your PhD something PhD
at the end, nobody PhD fix suffix. You will give
that stuff because it will resonate and no and you

(24:17):
it will get you the table over the quote. Person
that doesn't have the edge, I'm just gonna say, the
common person. And unfortunately every here's the thing to think about.
Everyone has an edge if they think about it, and
they can use that edge to get ahead. And that's
my advice to everybody listening to this podcast. I'm saying
that it just happens to be. I'm on a radio show.
I'm just saying that we're possible. I'm just saying, you love.

(24:38):
What if that restaurant that you lied two years ago,
what if someone was like, you know what? Uh, I
was gonna call it sick. I don't really feel well,
but I heard Elvis Durrand's coming for dinner tonight. I'm
gonna come in even though I don't feel well. I'm
gonna come and work. And then Elvis doesn't come in,
well they shouldn't. That that's they have ill intentions. Intentions Alvis. Now, listen,
my money is just as good as anyone else's dollar.

(25:00):
But dollar, your Instagram photo is not as valuable as Elvis's.
It doesn't matter. My my money is just as good
as his. Hey, what are you pitching about? I just
almost got you. I think I got you that reservation
you almost did. That girl was like Elvis Durant, Why
he didn't know squat about Deadley is what she didn't.

(25:21):
She thought she was being phone taps. She was kicking
you know what she did? She got She took the phone.
She's like, I'll be right back, and she flicked out
of that conversation. She flicked out. She flicked it, She
flicked it right out. She flicked out. What are you hitting? Buttons? Buttons?
Commercial break? Oh, so we'll be right back after this. Yeah, okay,

(25:42):
I want to say give a shout out to Vinny
from City Bank, who's day of this week. I was,
I don't know, three minutes late, so the show had
just started. So i have my Heart Radio on my
phone and I'm listening to the beginning of the show.
So technically I'm like four minutes late because with the
late on my heart and I'm walking down the street
listening with the I Heart Radio app, no no headphones,

(26:04):
just in my in my pocket loud as. I'm walking
down the cold street and this guy walks by and
he goes, hey, brother, it's done like that. Hey, it's gone, man.
He says, uh, it's me Vinny. And I looked at me,
go Vinny. And then he told me who he was
on on social media and I said, oh, Vinny, I
know him from social media. So he says, I'm listening

(26:25):
right now. I said, then you must know I'm late.
The show already started. I got I gotta run. He
was going to the opposite direction I was. So he says, nah,
listening to Brooklyn Boys to the show the air right.
I said, put the show is on. He goes, I
get it later. I'm listening to the episodehere you guys

(26:46):
in bb REXA. I go, that's all you're up to.
He goes, no, I'm looping. He's looping. So that's looping around.
He hoped it so today, Uh hold on, hold on,
hold on a second. This is Patty pat day, young up.
Patty was calling and wish me happy birthday. You know
Patty from the record label. Gotta be nice to the

(27:06):
record label. Guys. Patty's the best bet. He never forgets
my birthday. He calls everybody. He calls everybody. Call you again. Yeah, yeah,
he's gonna come again. Okay. So today I'm running fifteen
minutes early. So I'm walking down the same street. There's
no way you can run into the same guy. Vinny
walks by me again at so okay, he goes, I go,

(27:29):
you got the show on? Hees because we weren't on yet.
He goes, No, I'm I got the Brooklyn Boys on.
That's my walk. So he walks. It works at City Bank,
a couple of blocks from here, west or whatever. So
if you've got a seven minute walk, but here's my thing.
Yesterday I'm four or five minutes late. Today I'm fifteen
minutes early. Is he waiting on the corner and then

(27:49):
as I come he starts to walk. Is he just
waiting for me? No, there's no way. There's no way.
Like I may show up tomorrow an hour late and
see if he's there. It was a cool sidens really
the exact same time, two days in a row. Definitely.
I feel like he's like, Wow, I know how Brody
gets down Pad. I don't know. I like Vinnie, but
I feel like if I bump in him tomorrow at

(28:11):
a random time, something's up, you should come in an
hour early. Tomorrow. I just said hour late. It's the
same thing. But yeah, see if my point is I'm
not Yeah, I just experiment when I come and see
if he's there waiting, comes waiting on the corner an
hour early. Okay I just said. I just said an
hour later, because then I get to be late and
it always yells at me. I can go. I was.

(28:32):
If you really want to research, and you really want
to experiment, you think he's getting there. Four come in
all arbitrary times. You come in an hour early one day,
and come in minutes the next day, next day, fifteen
minutes right, exactly right? How many days in a row?
Leave them, put your headphones down, Go walk to corner
right now. If he's there. If he is there, I

(28:53):
guess what. Well, he's not gonna be waiting for me
to walk in that direction because I'm already here. He's
he'll be. So the question is how many days qualifies
for stalk? It's three days. Stalk is three days unbelievable.
I think three days is an unbelievable quincide, four days
of stalk, four days of stalk at four different times.
What if I take what if I walk a different

(29:13):
way to work and he still bumps into me. What
if he comes up I never have known. What if
he comes up from behind me? What if he's by
the garage? If he pops out of a man hole,
that's what I'm What if he's in the backseat of
my car and then he dips that's a stalk. Then
I'll flick him out and flick him out like him out.
I think, flick out hash take flick out, dude, I

(29:35):
that was that a terrible party last night? Had to
flick out a jerk out? Jut? I wouldn't he would
do that before you leave? Right? You do it after?
That would be crazy. Imagine somebody just starts jerking out
in the middle of the party. Imagine that's the only
way to leave. Imagine that's the entertainment, right, you can't
leave you haven't jerked out, all right? Think about it? Okay,

(29:57):
isn't a blowjob to suck job? Like people? Okay, people
tap out? Right? But that's what you say. Blow job
is really a such job? Yeah, I have a blowjob story.
Remind me, let's go there right now. But people do
tap out, and the same thing is dipping out. Yeah,
but tap out is a wrestling term, you tap your
partner so you can get out the other person's tapping in.

(30:17):
You don't tap out to go in the ring. You
tap out to leave the ring. Dude, I'm dropping wrestling
knowledge on you. This podcast has everything we really do.
By the way, that's gonna be a Brooklyn Boys. Uh
quote from the Brooklyn Boys quote? Guy on Twitter? Did
you see have you've been following it? He's hilarious. Well
you know what, No, wait a minute. If a guy

(30:39):
puts up quotes from our show, aren't we hilarious? No,
he's hilarious because he found it and capsualized it, transcribed
it and capsualized and capsulate encapsulated it. Yeah, it's not
capsulized encapsulated it. And yeah he gets the credit. There
was a couple here on my phone here where uh

(31:00):
was a quote favorite episode? Yeah? So Uh. Brodie tells
his thoughts on Thanksgiving raps having Mayo episode seventy nine
at the Sevree Mark Uh says, quote to me, at,
David Brodie, you tell me where in the history books
did the Pilgrims come to Americo? Mayonnaise? How dare you
put mayonnaise in a Thanksgiving rap bullshit, so stuff like that. Uh,

(31:23):
if you follow it daily Brooklyn Boys quotes on Twitter. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Do you want to hear the blow jobs? Stay? I
want to hear it yet, please because in the meantime
there's a very funny comedian. Or do you have to
call her a comic because actresses are now actors. You

(31:43):
could call her comic or comic stand up comics. She's
either way, it works. She's stand up comic. Quest she's
a she. Uh, you know what, I don't know she
identifies the woman she says, I just want to be careful.
She may have another I believe. I believe she is
a woman who identifies as a woman. All that she's
a comedian or an actor. I can't whatever it is. Anyway,

(32:04):
she does a one woman show, or if she identifies
as a woman, one woman show. Uh, it's produced by
Natasha Leone. Everybody loves Natasha Leone. The show is called
Get on Your Knees Now. I saw her as a
guest on seth Meyers on Colbert on Fallon promoting this
show to one woman show eighty minutes long and the

(32:27):
show it's an off Broadway show and the whole show
is about herror life as a young woman as a virgin,
and her experiences with giving her first blow job, being
afraid to give her first one, and then how she
progressed in life and got better at it to pride
in it scared guys off, but it's it's very well crafted,

(32:49):
it's very funny. It's a great show. So I mentioned
my friend Jeff a bunch of times on the podcast.
I say, Jeff, Friday night, why don't we just go
to this show. I don't know. I don't know anyth
about it. I don't I don't know. I said, I
heard good things. She's very funny. Let's go to the show. Okay, alright, fine,
we'll go. We had dinner. We went to a place

(33:09):
called Emmetts. It's been Emmetts, I have not I've heard
about it. So Emmetts is a place in New York
City Manhattan here that serves deep Dish pizza Chicago style
deep dish pizza. Okay, so we're like, hey, I really
like deep dish pizza. You know, you really can't get
deep Dish other than going to Juno's in New York.
There's not a lot of places to serve it. So
we went there. It's not far from where we're going

(33:31):
to see the show. They put us to the table
next to so it's a converted store like it looks
like it used to be an apartment but now it's
like a store front off the street. Open the door
and there's the tables right off the sidewalk. So the
front is all glass windows and doors, all glass Florida ceiling.
We sit next to a table table by the window,
which is like right off the sidewalk, and there's cork.

(33:54):
So it was like it was what do you call us? Like? Um,
the windows that open on hinges like double windows, they're
like shutters, but their windows they're shutting. They're closed, and
they have cork closing the gap between them bottom sides.
In the middle the cold has worn that away, so
the cold air is just shooting through the glass, shooting

(34:16):
right through it. So there's tables next to us. There's
a fore top and a two top, but the two
top is next to really loud, obnoxious people. So I
say the guy, can we take the fore top? I
don't want to take away your fore top because the
two top was sitting at his a round table like
Sidel's fox sidel's full, so we can't move. So we're
sitting there. We tell him. He goes, oh, man, look
at that the corks coming off. Oh my god, I

(34:37):
feel terrible. People get up. We moved tables with that.
Another couple that looks like their work friends. They go
and sit at the table we were at. They take
the coats off and we're laughing. Now we're like, they're
gonna sit at the cold table, frozen off their asses, right, nothing.
They don't complain, they don't say a word. Now we
look like the assholes because we were cold, Like maybe

(35:00):
we're not maybe weren't cold. Maybe we'll maybe we're just
like catchy, Like, how did I not cold? I don't know.
The wind is whistling through the door, like it's coming
through the window. Everyone has a different threshold. I guess.
All right, So the pizza comes. It's delicious, all right,
But if you've ever had deep dish, bless you the
deep dish. How would you describe deep dish pizza? Not

(35:21):
a definition of what it is. Describe it in terms
of the height of the cross the middle pot. Maybe
you got an inch of two inches, an inch and
a half of of of crust, and the middle it's
a pillowy it's a pillowy, fluffy thing going on in there.
And then on the middle part is you know, you've
got some cheese and you've got some sauce on the
top of that, and with what maybe more? Have you

(35:44):
never had deep dish pizza. It's toppings you okay, pan,
it's in a square black around comes around und all right, right,
deep but deep Chicago. Yeah, So deep dish pizza like
a two inch rust and maybe and here's the thing.
The inside passed. The crust is about an inch and

(36:05):
a half inch and three quarters it's almost as high
as the deep crust correct, and it's loaded like a lasagna, bread, cheese, meat, sauce,
really thick. The pizza emmetts delicious. The crust is really high.
It looks great. The middle about as thick as a
regular slice of pizza. It was like deep crust pizza.

(36:27):
But the pizza wasn't like I don't know if it
was ever up. I don't know if it was like
the weight of the sauce and it sunk. It was
a meat lover's but it was a sin. The crust
was went high. But when then you could look into it.
It was like a crater. It was like a crater.
That's terrible. It's like a bowl of soup. That's and

(36:49):
so we were looking at it all the tables, going
was as was that was that what we're looking and now?
So then so then Mike Jeff says to me, you
can't complain. We already complained about the call. Old. Yeah,
you already got your your red flag. I got my
red flag. I got to it on the table, already
moved tables, so I couldn't say anything because it was
also delicious, but three dollars bottle of soda, no refills?

(37:13):
All right, but where's the where's the bad part? No,
the bad part is it wasn't deep dish pizza. Okay,
you're no. They do one thing there. They sell deep
dish pizza, so they're not a deep dish pizza deep.
But it wasn't filled. It was like a pot. It
was a deep crater pizza. That's what I'm saying. Okay,
So and and then the wind okay, so what what
did you have to do with someone giving a blowjob?

(37:34):
I'm getting there. The dinner was great. We walked to
the theater. You take very long these days, maybe I
should You should pop a see Alice, you want to
do it? Viagara, don't be a jerk on? Okay? All right,
God called back, don't be a hashtag, don't be a
jerk on. Okay. So we go to the show, and
you know, I don't really care. I didn't look into
the show. I didn't read reviews. But of the audience

(37:58):
is twenty thirty something young women. Okay, good place to
go to pick up a girl who's into blowjobs. This show, okay.
The rest of the crowd looked like very flamboyant gay men, couples, gays,
and then us. How do you know that these weren't lesbian?
The women, I don't know. I'm just telling. I didn't
say they were straight, but they were at a blowjob show. Uh.

(38:20):
You know, By the way, do you want to review
the show? Yes, I'm gonna review the show. We're walking
down the street in the village reminded me of a
joke one of my favorite comics from years ago, Greg
ro Gall great very funny comic. He was talking about
how his friend is so stupid and he's like, he
says the dumbest things. He's walking down the street with
him in the in the Greenwich village of Manhattan, and
he turns to Greg ro gall And and turning to

(38:41):
the story, and he says, you know, when you see
two guys walking together in the village, they're gay. And
then he says to his friend, we're we're walking down
the street, like doesn't make any sense, right, So I
can't assume that every two guys in the theater was
gay because I was with my buddy and we're not correct,
But it looked like from the hand holding that we

(39:03):
were in a maybe we were the only ones in
that whole theater that are not not in the business
or have the experience of giving blow jobs. So we
we see the show. I'm laughing the whole show, but
because I talked him into going. Throughout the show, I'm
looking over at him, going is he smiling? Isn't a
good time and he hasn't look on his face like
it's amusing. Yeah. I hear him chuckle once or twice,

(39:26):
and I assume he's chuckling a lot, but I only
heard it once or twice. I laughed out loud a
couple of times. He didn't like it nearly as much,
but we walk out, and I like, how good was that?
I hated it? What I hated it? Yeah, I don't.
I just I don't. So now you're gonna you're gonna
pay for his ticket. So hold on, no, why not?
He didn't have you invited him into this experience. Maybe

(39:48):
you could up now I'm not doing that. I'm not sure.
Maybe I don't like female comics. I don't know. I
don't know. The whole thing was drawing out. It should
have been shorter, it could have been funnier in forty minutes.
It was eighty minutes twenty. So I was like, all right, man, listen,
I'm sorry to like it. I really enjoyed it. I
thought this part was great. That part was great. I
thought a delivery was fantastic. She's she's very pretty. It

(40:08):
was just an amusing show to watch. It was just good. Okay.
So he drives home and in the car right, He's like, yeah, man,
the pizza was good at a good time. Tonight was
fun night out, you know, away from the family. Whatever.
I gotta tell you, I really didn't enjoy the show.
I'm like, no, I get it. I yep, got it.
You didn't like the show. Fine, Okay, at this point,

(40:29):
that's enough. Right, you'd get it. I would get it.
I'm like, all right, great, I struck out on this right,
I was wrong. And I said to him, I feel
bad I brought you out. He but he kept he
kept keeping on. The next day he sends me, he
sends me links to three articles that reviewed the show
it didn't like the show, that said it was too long,

(40:52):
too many the same jokes. You know what it sounds
like to me, Brodie sounds like he's trying to get
some free dessert at it. Yes, that's what I'm saying.
So I texted and I go, dude, don't do this again,
or we're not going anywhere ever, like and I got it, Like, yeah,
I gotta stop. He needed to make you feel like
a piece of ship. So I said, are you trying
to make me feel like a piece of ship? Basically
said he's like no, I just wanted you to know

(41:13):
that other people think to what I do. I said, Well,
he's watching it feel justified in his thoughts. He thought
maybe he was what you said. The whole audience was
going crazy right now. People liked it. I think if
you're a young woman who can relate firsthand of the
experience of the first time and then the second time
and the all think it might hit home with you more, right.

(41:34):
But she had some very funny like jokes about like
what do you do with the balls? I don't I
asked a woman who who said she was the queen
of it, and she knew what She's just talking me,
like lift them up a little bit, like it was funny,
like her explaining like not knowing what to do and
and what her thought process was during the first It's
all very funny. He didn't find it funny, but three

(41:54):
reviews like, oh, this one gave it a seventy nine,
and uh, he would have thought would be fun. He
thought he thought it sucked. He's like that. That's the
exact point of the show blue right. I will say,
like the restaurant where Pat who does social media for
rails went to Mexico. My impression is that Jacqueline Novak

(42:15):
went to Mexico because I tweeted at her, I love
the show, I posted on Instagram. Nothing I followed her. Whatever,
Jacquelinovac and Pat who let me tell you something, Pat
went off the rails. That's right. Jacquelinovac is a very
talented woman. But I have But she has like seventeen
thousand followers on Twitter, which is a nice amount if

(42:36):
you don't have a lot of followers. I've got a
lot more than that, and I try to keep up
with every tweet. What I'm saying is, I don't think
she has so much that every seventeen every every one
of those people is seventeen thousand tweets a day. Where
she didn't see my tweet, I feel like I'm defending him,
sticking up, I'm advertising for you. Tweet me back. Enjoyed
the show, Hey, thanks glad you could make it. You

(42:58):
know something, I'll blow your side and whatever. By the way,
she did not say jerk on. I should have told
her that in the tweet, right, yeah, A very least
she could have said jerk out, jerk out, So my
friend clearly wanted to flick out of that show. In
the middle, you would have dipped. I would have dipped.
I definitely would have dipped. You know me way too well.

(43:19):
I know you're way too well. Um should we You
said you had a thing. I got a lot of
things I don't have. I have a couple of things.
I mean, I got some things to reason. I wanted
to follow up on something that was originally gonna bring
up here on this podcast, but it came out on
the fifteen minute morning show because Danielle made me so
angry with it. Well yeah, but if you did it,
you yelled after we stopped the podcast, You're like, should

(43:40):
have saved it for the broad Book on Boys podcast.
The point is, I was we were talking about shopping
versus your shopping in person, versus having groceries come to you.
Danielle prefers her groceries to come to her. But the
one thing that I love most in life in going places.
I mean, I you know me, I like, I'm a
man of convenience. I like coming to me too, your
couch guy. I love that. But when it comes to

(44:02):
groceries and shopping, I need to do it for myself.
And she called the bougie for that, but I think
it's bougie to shop from your phone, so touche. However,
I should have had the clip of you screaming when
you yelled no, they give you bad produce on fresh.
I went in his firsthand. I went to a Whole

(44:22):
Foods a couple of weeks ago. I went to the
Whole Foods a couple of days ago, and and I'm
looking at all the shoppers shopping for people on their phone,
like there's like a whole fleet of them that come
in in the middle afternoon, and I see, I know
that all these groceries are going to end up on
some people's doorsteps. Well, they take no pride and no

(44:45):
care in in shopping for people. They have their list
on their phone and they run through the supermarket as
fast as they can to get those orders fulfilled. They
don't check the produce, they don't check sell by dates
on things. You know, I want. The one time I
got food on the milk from the back, I got

(45:06):
cottage cheese that expired the next day. Like what the
hell am I supposed to do with cottage cheese? Because
because I know that when I'm there in person, I'm
going behind. I'm going to the back of the display
because that's where they put the new stock. The new
stock is used when you go to the big stock.
You go to Walmart, they have like a hundred milk
out hundred jugs of milk. The ones that are fresh,
you got the ones in the back. The guy just
restocked because they put the freshest in the back. Just

(45:27):
grab the ones in the back, right, there's no law
against that. There's no Why do you want the milk
that expires in four days? Get the one in the
back the night when somebody else is doing the shopping
and it's not their money front, they'll just grab what
they grab and go, grabb and go. It's hapless, it's
it's rushed. Sometimes they second milk has five or six
extra days, and that's a cell by date. By the way,

(45:48):
you have to be carefully. You don't confuse sell by
with used by. Well, my girlfriend is it all the
time with the used by date. She completely f stet up.
She's like, oh no, she throws it away. I'm like,
what are you doing? That's sell by? You still got
another good week in this right. That means you're gonna
they know you're gonna have the milk in your house
for a week. You do the stiff test because they
don't know how long you're gonna you're gonna open it up,
leave it on the table. They just wanted out of
this store before it goes bad. I just wanted to

(46:10):
have peace of mind. I'm really done with this conversation.
You go go to the fifteen minute morning show if
you want to hear five people screaming at each other.
It was good. It was like the Brooklyn Boys, but
more people, with more people. Um, did I talk about signaling?
Did I talk about that last week with what I
got it? Okay? Oh yeah? Left? No no no no.
When you're driving and I talked about this when you
we talked to this on the podcast and I said,

(46:32):
your signal then you slow down? Yes, yes, yes, okay,
I got. I got into a fight yesterday. My mom
in the car right so we're driving, mom, leave your
mom alone. She was my mom was fighting. My mom
was in the car, so I'm driving in the right lane. Okay.
I got pulled over to unrelated to this star. I
pulled over yesterday. Did you pulled David Brodye? Well, no,

(46:54):
I pulled it. I pulled a mom of Brody because
the police officer went to her side of the car,
and so the windows rolled down and I said, I'm
tell we sorry, officer. I wanted to get my mom home.
And she says, officer, I'm so sorry. I have to
pee very badly and I have a bladder condition, and
he goes, I'm so sorry. Please continue. Oh that's great,
that's awesome. I've already got us out. And because you know,

(47:15):
my my husband was a police officer, and I you know,
I wouldn't have asked my son to make that. She
pulled the car. She pulled the card my father. Second
second pull you pulling the card, my father. We were
on the job at one. But that's legitimate matter that
I legitimately weren't here for this range. But you're not
legitimately of us. My mother didn't say. My mother didn't
say she was a police officer. We're gonna be eating really,

(47:38):
because I just got you four. Everybody hurt wing. By
the way, we have to edit that because that guy
I can't have his There is no reason have his
voice on that. I feel like we should. We'll chop
that down. We'll chop it down. It's already been choped
by the time. He has already been chopped. And don't
ask for the uncut because no, just no, just no,
Brody is going to dinner. I don't know. We'll find
out next week. Okay, So we're driving on this. It's
a three two lane road. Right, left, lane is was

(48:02):
it an old town road? No? No, because I didn't
I didn't take my horse. And so the left lane
is moving slowly and the right lanes moving okay, but
I want to go I'm gonna go straight, so I
get in the right lane. And this is the bullshit
about public roads. Everybody has one of these. There's no
signs that say the right lane is right lane only

(48:23):
until you get right up to the end of the lane.
And then there's an arrow painted on the ground which
you can't see because they will are the cars in
front of you on top of that arrow. So why
is that right lane is right? Turn on? Right turn on?
So I want to go straight, so I've got no
choice now. Then this is before I got pulled up

(48:44):
with the left lane. Have the arrow going forward? And yeah,
right forward and to the left it's most No, it's forward.
So when the when the light changes, I'm four car
lengths from the light because now I've stopped and I
realized I'm far lengths length you said links length lengths Yeah, okay,

(49:05):
So I stopped and I put my time, I put
I put my signal on in hopes that someone will
let me in. Now I'm not a chiseler. I didn't
drive up on the end to cut in it. The
last second I realized I can't go straight to common
mistake innocent enough, and I put my signal on. Hopefully
there's no one behind me. Someone will be kind enough

(49:25):
to know I'm fucked. Can you just let me in? Right?
I looked to my left to see if I can
get in. I haven't moved my moved my car, I
haven't made an attempt to cut in front of anybody.
And a woman in an suv I can see on face,
has a look on a mean face going She's like,

(49:46):
you're not fucking getting in here? Fuck you, you're fucking yeah.
Of course I haven't done anything except I looked like.
So she rides she she fucking rides the ass of
the of the car in front of her. So I
say to my mom, hold on, that woman just cursed
me out. My mom says, David, don't, don't do it, mom.

(50:06):
She goes, all right, fine, So so I give her
the look. I go, you know what, I wasn't gonna
cut in, not fucking going in front of you, and
you got in front of her. So as we go,
I'm pulling up I'm on the right side. No, so that.
So what happens is the car in front of horror
when it goes to the intersection, speeds up like like

(50:27):
boom goes because the other car in front of that
car pulled to the right lane. So the car in
front of hard pull. So I zoomed the cutter, but
she gave me the look you're not gonna pass me.
I got a hand me, dude, I got a charger.
I went right, blue hut doors off cut in front
of her, and I see her in my rear of
a mirrorging so so, so I I give her the

(50:48):
reverse fingers through the back window. I do the dance.
I'm doing the waves, the whole thing. I open up
my moon roof for give her the wave. Did she
see all of it? She saw all of it. So
then I she said, we're pulling up to the next line.
I see her pull into the left lane, the right lane. Rather,
I'm in the left lane. Now she's in the right lane,
one car behind me. So that there's a truck next
to me, pickup truck. She's behind me. My mother says,

(51:10):
you gotta go straight. Here I go, Mom, I'm making
a right She says, no, no, no, no, you gotta
go straight and go. Mom, make the right and I'll
turn around later. I'm making a right, she says. He says,
it's just to me. You're not gonna let it go,
are you? No? So I say to the guy I
waved to the truck driver, and I go, I want
to pull him behind you can you go? And goes
oh yeah, okay. So he goes through the street and

(51:32):
I cut her off again and make it right. But
you don't have to go right. But I waited. I
cut her off, wait until the light was gonna change. Right.
I made a spite right and I made the right
and it was a no turn on red, so I
made the right and then I the light changed so
she couldn't make the right on red. So then what
I did? She stuck at the light. I then I

(51:52):
make a you turn on this side street because now
I gotta go back and make the right. She's stuck
at the light. She's at the light. So I go
up to the light now and she's to my left
at the light and I'm there again. Yeah, I'm like
the light. I'm like a horror movie villain, and I
give it a light delight. I give her the finger again.
Now perpendicular, I give her a finger again, and my
mother goes, are you done? Now? You got it? Three times?

(52:12):
I said, yes, right now, I'm done. Now I'm done.
She was a new driver, she was seventeen. This cry
fuck you suv lady. No, no, she was. Yeah, look
at me, the jungle in the road, kicking the road.
The woman in the suv, guy in the pickup truck
could do it every wance. That one snuck up on me.

(52:39):
Gotta be quick, you gotta be quick. You got I
was quick. I cut that woman off. I got you.
See this horrific haircut. Yeah, I'm looking at Chelsea, not you.
I'm sorry, Dick. Sure I didn't see it on Google.
She googled like this, this awesome haircut. It's one of
those under shave cuts where you lift up the hair

(53:01):
and then it's all shaved underneath, and then they design.
These are good, the design and the scal Yes. But
what she what she questioned, was this, and what she
got was this. She showed a picture of the pattern, right,

(53:21):
and so what she got was like a map you'd
see on a kid's menu at a bad at a
theme restaurant. It's all over the place. It's terrible, and
she says, I wanted this haircut. I had not received
a professional haircut in about a year. I always still
I always have an undercut because my hair is so
thick shaved underneath. However, this time I wanted to spice
it up, and I gave them the design that I

(53:43):
wanted shaved. So she assured me she can do it yeah,
and started cutting. However, she totally funked up, as you
can see by these pictures. I had no idea until
I asked my nana to take a picture because I
obviously can't see the back of my head. Now wait
a second, pause, don't they show you give you a mirror,
wouldn't she ask to see the mirror of what the

(54:04):
hair look left? Halfway she went turns like. She went
home and saw her nana, and her nana was like,
what the funk happened to your hair? She was shocked
when she found this out. I was, I was, why
don't you go to a place that like it's best.
They specialize. They have all the pictures of the graphics
and the designs. You gotta go to a place that's
that's their thing. Well it's not apparently wasn't their thing.

(54:27):
She wants to know how she gets free dessert out
of this situation. Uh. She loves us so much, loves
us on The Big Show and the Brooklyn Boys podcast
Crack Me Up. That is from Chelsea hashtag slice for Life.
Al Right, well, I I got and be honest. Um,
you just gotta take him to task. You just gonna
go back and say hate my haircut? You can't do
it a month later? No, yeah, you strike while the

(54:47):
iron is hot. Yeah, and it looks like that's what
they used, by the way to cut her iron. Melissa
Rose on Twitter, I wished to be a happy birthday.
She said, may your diet coke be ice free and
your food di well, she wrote void, but I know
she meant devoid devoid of anything green. That was really nice.
Now am I wrong that I told back there and
I said, just you know it's devoid. I want to know. No,

(55:09):
you gotta correct? Um? Can I talk about Mark carg
real quick? Mark car saw this on the J. C.
Penny website and was confused as fuck. There's a men's
section and a guy's section. What exactly is the difference? Uh?
You're you're in the guy's section. I would be in
the man's section. That's the difference men's drop down men's clothing, right,

(55:34):
and that's this guy's clothing and their separate sections. So
guys are what for guys are for boys? Well, no
guys is like you like Brooklyn Industrial, Hey look at
that guy. That's you. Hey, look at that guy. Way
guys formal men's man, it's like a man's like, look
at look at that man. That man's dressed. Well, that's
a good looking man, dressed man. That's dressed man. So

(55:54):
someone walking out of the cover of someone on a
GQ magazine, that's a well dressed man. That's a man, right,
guy closing with clothing would be like, hey, look at
that guy. That would be Peter Millar. Yeah, that's a
good guy. Yeah, look at that guy that Guys like
the Abercrombie guy. Hey, look at that guy you Brooklyn Industrial,
they were like, hey, look at that guy. Scary. You

(56:14):
don't dress like a man all the time. You're just
a guy. You look at guy you draw smoking jacket on,
you know, you know a man in a jacket. Look
at that guy in the jacket. A couple of episodes ago.
Hold on, I got a question for you. Back to
my friend Jeff. He he bought a suit. He went
to a an Asian tailor. It's important I say that
to the story, I think, and she says to him,

(56:35):
it is. It's still funny this podcast. It's funny. So
the woman syste him, how do you want your cuffs?
He says, what do you mean? She says, regular or original?
Regular or original? Oh, I know what that means. I'll
tell you how it is. But that's that's that's the
same thing when okay, I don't know how it is

(56:57):
in the cuff world, but in the in the alteration
of genes world, regular and original are different. Original means
they literally cut the bottom of the genes off, and
then when they restitch it, the bottom of the genes,
no matter how short they make it is the original gene.

(57:19):
Regular is when they just make they just make the
the alteration and you know they folded in the whatever
they do their own, it's not the original bottom. It's
much it's much more expensive. It's much more expensive to
get the original bottoms of the genes. Yeah, that's what that.
So cuffs maybe the same way. Brodie where it's do

(57:42):
you want the original cuff the way it was on
the sleeve or do you want us to do a
hack job and we it's cheaper when it's regular? Is
that what it is? That is I'm applying something that
I know is fact to another part of a different
article of clothing. I'm that's how they do jeans for sure. Yeah,

(58:03):
because the alterations are always different. It sounds to be
like regular and original mean the same thing. Okay, okay,
so uh someone just texted me and said, are you available?
Who works in our industry? And I wrote back, I'm recording,
not Let's see what they say. Right back again. No,

(58:24):
let's see what they say. Hold on, I wanted to
read something here. Oh oh, I gotta I gotta free
ship for us. Okay, go ahead, Well no, I was
gonna all right, continue, I want to thank uh Margaret, Hey, Uren,
that's too long, I can't read it. But free ship
for us. Hey, guys. Per the last podcast, our merchandise podcast,

(58:46):
we talked about the merchandise who want to create? I
got you, guys, Brooklyn Boys pop sockets. I'm sending these
in the mail today from Virginia. Let me know once
you get them so good boys to give the stuff
free for us. So you blew that one on us. Okay,

(59:07):
So what they did was they took our logo off
of one of the podcasts or the websites whatever, and
they went to pop Grip, not a sponsor, and created
Brooklyn Boys pop sockets. That's amazing. Thank you so much
for doing that. They spent their their hard earned money
on us. They designed it. So I think we will
definitely have Brooken Boys podcast pop sockets. We're gonna have

(59:29):
merchandise are now we are scary and iro in the
process of planning our live broadcast. Oh my god, hold on,
we probably shouldn't say something because it hasn't been planned.
It's gonna be sometime between now in the summer. Bertie,
you do realize that on my previous podcast we would
make these empty promises and we talked about and we
never deliver. We're gonna have a merch store. We're gonna

(59:52):
have free dessert, yes, yes, And I don't want to
give away another thing. You had a great idea. I'm
not gonna had an amazing We have some amazing ideas.
We won't we won't pop the amazing idea off until
we were there the pop socket, though we did mention
the pop sockop sockets sockets. Kevin Kozlowski, UM, I want
what I heard us talking about cashhos, cash shoes, cash

(01:00:16):
cash shoes. He said we should do a parody to
Boogie Shoes by Casey and trying bag Mama my cas shoes.
I want to put on my ma, ma mama, my
cash shoes and eat them with you. You wouldn't put
on cash shoes. That's leave the parodies to me. I
do like that song like Kevin Kaslowski said, yeah, you've

(01:00:36):
got something there, Bertie, Yeah, maybe like I want to
eat some I want to eat some big cash shoes
ka ka ka kat cash shoes. I just did it
without the kaka. I want to eat some good cashoes.
Madeline Jerasi or Jerossi wrote, I can't wait for the
merch uh. I hope this store opened soon. I will

(01:00:57):
Pop sockets are a must. Just wanted to thank you
all for letting us into the ins and outs of
your daily lives and frustrations, more frustrations than anything else.
I hope you all get higher than nine this week now.
He felt a number twelve on the I Heart Radio
Top one podcast. I'll tell you why. We had the
the senior vice president of our company in the studio

(01:01:19):
here on thusday, and I said, I said, hey, Tom,
uh because, oh you know what, it was pissed me off.
He didn't mean to piss me off. He's he's a
good man, especially since he you know, he's the king
of the company, one of the he's the he's the
prince of the company, one of the princes. And I said, oh,
you know, Tom, you've been posting some really great stuff
on your Instagram. He's been going to some cool small

(01:01:40):
venue clubs with major celebrities. He hangs out with the superstars.
But to him, it's like when I grow up. Yeah,
you gonna throw his last name around. That's fine. Anyway.
I love him. I love Tom Palmer. He hired me.
I gotta love him. You know what he did for
me one night. He took me out and brought me
a steak dinner. He did. He took me out to
buy stake dinner too. Got for a big gass. He
took me up. Yeah, no, Tom's got the got the

(01:02:02):
company called. I love Tom anyway. So Tom says, yeah,
you know, I've been to some great events. This month.
I went to the Heart Radio Music and goes the
I Heart Podcast Awards. So I said, oh, yeah about that.
I said, how's Calling O'Brien doing And he says, what
do you mean. I said, well, Tom Caran O'Brian won
an award for Best Comedy Podcast. He says, oh, yeah,

(01:02:23):
yeah he did. Yeah. Oh he's nice. He got to
meet everybody. Yeah, I said, you know, Scary and I
weren't there. He says, how come. I said, well, we
weren't nominated, and uh, you guys weren't paying for it
like you did last year. You flew us out. So
he's like, you know, not really involved in the podcast selection.
But I said, you know, Tom, Scary and I two
weeks ago were number nine in the whole company and

(01:02:47):
we were the highest ranked podcast if anyone who works
all I Heart Radio. Your company, Tom, the company that
you helped run. And he went, really, that's interesting, really,
and he goes, let me look at the chart this week.
I go, all right, this week with number two behind
Breakfast Club. But they had a big movie. Well we know,
but the second holdest employee, right, And I don't mind
losing to the Breakfast club but the Breakfast Clubs podcast

(01:03:10):
is a rebroadcast of the podcast, right, we're doing an
original content. So I could then rephrase it and say
for original content podcasts, we were number one again this
week for I Heart employees. So I said, you know,
it would be great if maybe next year we you know,
you nominate some of the I Heart media employees who
are highly ranked, you know. And so he was like, no, no,

(01:03:33):
it's a great idea. And I was a couple of
things to well, hopefully, hopefully we'll see what happens. But uh,
look here comes the hold on. Okay, hold on, okay,
hold on, hey man, we're recording a podcast right now.
And I said, I wonder if the guy I just
texted and told him I was recording will text back

(01:03:55):
even though I just told him I'm recording, period, I
just won five bucks love you? Period? Was that voice
to text? And so, so, why when you say I'm recording,
they feel the need to text back again? Right? So
I just yeah, okay, he's gonna text back now, like
she's sorry, who is this person? I'm not gonna tell you,
but he handles all of our affiliates alright, Kelsey, Why

(01:04:17):
don't we a funny tweet from Kelsey you go alright
at K pair twenty one at David Brody thought you'd
find this funny. Reminded me of the Brooklyn Boys episode
where we heard a clip saying a little less than
over a minute one of the best clips we've played
a little leges. So she said, she sent me this, Um,
I guess it's a news report tweet from wherever San

(01:04:39):
Miguel is. San Miguel Sheriff tweeted this out. There's a
picture of a police car and a boulder in the
middle of the road, and the caption says, large boulder
the size of a small boulder is completely blocking eastbound
Like if like, what we're they trying to say large

(01:05:01):
balld in the size of a small planet? What were
they saying, large ball in the size of a small boulder?
What is that? That's at sheriff alert? Oh that's a
good twitter. Louis Zavala said, I have a quick and simple,
funny sex story. What's up? This was the sex quick
and funny. Well you'll hear in a second, but this

(01:05:23):
was in relation to the episode where we were talking
about how I someone someone fell all right, someone fell
asleep while I was having sex with them. Remember that? Mhm,
what's up? Guys. My name is Louise and I'm from Miami,
but I'm actually in l A for dental school. You
guys are the bomb and help with some major distraction
from the stress, so I appreciate you. Long story short,

(01:05:47):
I was once with my ex girlfriend and one night
we were doing our business. I found myself down south
pleasing her, and I actually ended up being the one
to fall asleep while I was down there. Oh, I
caught myself dozing off, and I honestly couldn't believe. What's
this person's name, Louise, Louise, Louise fell asleep? Yeah, I

(01:06:10):
started chuckling at the thought of it while I was
still down there. We broke up a while ago, and
to this day, I'm not sure if she is aware
of that happening, but I can probably say I have
pleased a woman in my sleep. Hashtag slice for life.
Thank you, Louis. I think we've all pleased a woman
and I'll sleep. He fell asleep at the wheel, Yeah, yeah, yeah?

(01:06:34):
Did he just use it as a pillow just like
I don't know. I want to put my head down.
You didn't get involved in this conversation very much. But
Shady Ju Mobster, who was one of our loyal tweeters. Um,
they wrote, remember last week, we're talking about the movie
of You, and you kept giving away clues as to
the movie. Yeah, so he wrote, this is for Scary
jo Oh, this is Scary Jones. According you, I'm not

(01:06:56):
giving anything away, but Jim Carrey serious movie surprise ending, Browsky,
you gave it away. No one's wondering if what you
were talking about. Um okay, So I wrote back, Hey man,
Scary did I didn't give anything away? So he says, um, no,
I was. I was referring to Scary, So I said,

(01:07:16):
but you called him Browsky. Brosky is a nickname for
like Brodie Brody Brosky. You wouldn't call Scary Brosky. So
when you called him Browsky, I assumed you meant I
gave the end of the movie away. So he says,
I didn't know you had the singular ownership of Browsky.
So first of all, so then he goes, all right,
I'll refer to Scary Jones a brocef. I go, no,
you're missing the point. Bro is brody. People call me

(01:07:41):
Browsky sometimes Joe, what's up? Brosky? Like is a goof.
So I said, like, you should call him like like
Jonesie or like scares Key. But you can't call scary Brosky,
you know what I mean. But he was talking about
you though, He was like, dude, you get way into
the movie Brosky. But wouldn't you think that was he
was talking about me? Yeah? Right, yeah, I didn't give

(01:08:05):
away anything. This was someone sent this to us. It's
not Look, I'm not making fun of the tragedy, Okay,
I'm just telling you what the caption said. And one
of our listeners sent this to us and said, that's unfortunate.
And I heard three newscasters say this. This was about
the helicopter crash. I'm not making fun of the crash.
The caption on Breaking News says l A County fire

(01:08:27):
chief quote. Unfortunately, all survivors on board perished. They're right,
they're not survivors. Yeah, all passengers perish. You wouldn't say, yeah,
all survivors on board. There were no survivors, right, survivors
didn't perish. That's terrible right there, that's terrible. Who wrote

(01:08:49):
that the sheriff said it, and then the new service
quoted him. Uh Nelson Abrams on Twitter. I love that.
Just heard a new one to add to the then
number eight TM machine conversation. First time I've ever heard
someone call it a GPS system. I guess that person
is not a slice. That's correct GPS system. That would

(01:09:09):
be that silly Global Positioning system. Uh. T White Senor,
huge fan of the podcast and Walkers and Talkers. According
to Scary, the hat is cool because if you know,
you know, but then the same rule doesn't apply to
the f you Ape seventy seven shirt. You said no
one would get the joke, but you said if you
know the Miami do you know what? I retract that

(01:09:32):
then yes, that's why APE seventy seven shirt could work. Okay,
but that goes along with my argument that if you know,
you know, if you don't know, then you don't know.
Tara Up, Yes, I I take that back, Tara Bagaman,
I just don't think they're gonna sell very many a right.
Tara Baghman a fan of both of my podcasts our
She's the dog trainer, um she uh the agility dog

(01:09:55):
Agility trainer. Uh Brooklyn Boys my favorite podcast ever. That
means Walkers and Talkers a second favorite. I'm fine with that.
And I will buy everything and your highly anticipated merch store.
I will proudly run my agility dogs in an f
U A set i'd love. Also, I'd love a water
bottle or a glass that says no ice hashtag broken boys, merch. Uh,

(01:10:17):
let's say a couple more here. Oh, this person says,
they know, damn well, what movie you're talking about? Damn
you scary? Hashtag brody and scary. And it's okay that
you do. And it doesn't adn't give anything away, right,
you've seen the trailer, say Levy Monum says no disrespect
scary Jones being from Miami. If my girls and I
saw a guy wearing a hat from eleven Miami, we'd

(01:10:40):
think they were a douche or trying too hard hashtag
don't do it. Um. Okay, let's see, Oh, Olympus Olympus
five wants Olympus s five. I don't know what they
want property of shirts. They want property boys. That's a definite,
and that's a definite. Uh, that's a given. Okay, and
then uh, you benefited from benefiting. Okay, what can we

(01:11:04):
do for what can we do exclusively for women? I
need you to help me with this so we could
false not false. Let me think about that, well, tank
top maybe little tank top. Okay, Kayla has a question
for both of us. Saw this on a dating app.
Should I like him back just so I can correct
his spelling and then remove the like? Yes, that is

(01:11:27):
what Dale forty one years old wrote. I'm on my
second and now see this is why I said, don't
attack the guy. He says on my second career, I'm
retired from the navy. Right away, I was like, no,
he served our country, don't go after him. But he wrote,
definitely have my life together, been to twenty five countries,
lived on three continents. I'm blah blah blah, hater of drama,

(01:11:48):
someone who doesn't have their life together. Oh, I'm a
hater of drama. Comma. But then the way the sentence
is phrased, it doesn't play right. Hater of drama, comma,
someone who doesn't have their life together, comma, no respect
comma and misuse of grammar. Okay, first of all, it
looks like he's saying, I'm a hater of drama. I'm

(01:12:10):
someone who doesn't have their life together. I don't have
any respect and misuse of grammar. He capitalized grammar and
then spelled it with an E R. I love that.
I love that. That is the best. That's ironic. That
is ironic. So everybody who says the police on a
misspelling and they spell grammar with an e R is

(01:12:31):
a hater of people who misuse grammar. I spelled grammar
with an E R. Are you sure he wasn't doing
it on purpose? Nope? Alright. And this person sent a
sign which when we do our live show, we'll be
able to show the show with this sign. It says,
do not touch bread with hands, please use tongue. And

(01:12:53):
then I have one quick free desert story from DJ
Sky just wanted to share with you. I got a
four credit from Verizon because of an hour way time
and lack of communication on their end. Thank you for
teaching me the way, Master, This is the way, which
is a Mandalorian quote. Slice for Life brought and scary
so free dessert. They got four in twenty hours. Um,
all right, so you you're you're in a rant city

(01:13:16):
right now. I am the mayor of Rant City. But
I did. I did the I did the rant about
I did a rant already. I'll throw one more thing.
And I want to give a tribute to my friend
Carlos as we get out of it today, because my
birthday and I want to go celebrate. It's about time.
Carlos was is from Peru. Originally we worked together when
we managed I managed restaurants. Were both assistant managers at

(01:13:37):
the time, and Carlos was in the country maybe six
or seven eight years, spoke English fairly well, but he
wasn't add percent comfortable with the idios ms atic idiomsdy.
I corrected myself right away. I apologize. And so you
know the old expression, oh you got a quarter inch
dick right quarter foot? Why did you give what the ending?

(01:14:03):
Because you've told that joke on here ten times. I'm
catching people up to yeah, because Elvis brought it up
in the room this week and I was like, should again? No?
I no, I was just bringing people up to speed
for the because well where else would have gone? But
the punchline you just gave away episodes. I can't remember
everything we've talked about. We've done that joke three times
on this podcast. It again quot baby. Yeah right, okay,

(01:14:27):
you wanted to add to that. Hey remember that story
in that joke, now, why don't you there was a
follow up about Car about Car. I just wanted to
bring it up because, uh, it's just Elvis brought up again.
It's them my life FML. I can I can't, I
can't leave what salary man? Okay? So what about all

(01:14:47):
the people with me? Safonia, the Arians, the pans. Where
do we come up with? Yeah? Okay, the people crazy
to the max? No, I'm not making my say. I'm
not consensitive to the max, not calling pretty crazy. I'm
gonna have a happy birthday. I will let you guys
know next week if I ended up with dinner reservations

(01:15:07):
at the steakhouse, that's scary tribe but failed to get
me help. And by the way, Bertie, yeah, don't forget
super Bowl this weekend. You made me pick my pick.
You chose my pick for me. Yeah, on the last episode,
we did it live on the episode I did. I
have Kansas City chiefs think by a point and a half,
so they have to one by two in order for

(01:15:28):
me to cover. For me to call up, I'll be fine.
But if you're losing on my fault. I don't know
any money you ship you and Jeff. I'm not giving
him a penny either. He didn't like Jeff. He didn't
he didn't like to play. It's not my problem. You
made a pick for Jeff. No, I picked a plate.
Didn't like it. Huh. Happy birthday, buddy, thank you. One
day this week, trip to Brooklyn, nice boy after dr

(01:15:55):
Fat loss is done by jingle. Hit the jingle. I
don't care if the show's over. You can't do that over. No,
you don't get to hit the chang. Hit the damn jingle, Bitch,
it's my birthday. Dick was a scary