#116: Skeery Has a Heart On For Valentine's Day

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start up that up Brooklyn by Up Brooklyn by Data
they make a noise Data up Episode one sixteen. This
is the Brooklyn Boys podcast and we made it this far.

(00:22):
Here's the problem with releasing a podcast almost every Thursday. Well,
on Valentine's Day, today's Friday. People are going to expect
us to do a Valentine's Day episode with Valentine's Day
theme things. And you know, I couldn't think of two
more relevant guys who love Valentine's anymore then the two

(00:43):
of us. Well, I've got I've got poetry written. Well,
I know you have a list of dudes and don't
for Valentine's Day Happy most Romantic song list. Yes, in fact,
we were. I have a segment coming up called please her,
don't tease her, right, and we'll get to that. Unless
you're run at a time she were not time. You
have to take a lot of pressure on this day,
not for you, not for you, because you made a

(01:04):
joke a couple of days ago to me. I did. Yeah,
So Skear E's girlfriend really wants him to pull out
all the stops on Valentine's Day. Expect the best restaurant,
a nice gift, can't be the day before candy something expensive.
And I said, look, there's one thing you can do
to get your girlfriend to stop caring about Valentine. What

(01:26):
does marry her? And then you're off to Is that
what your Valentine's Day is going to be? Like? We're ordering, Uh,
you want to talk about romantic? We are ordering heart
shaped pizzas to eat in the house. You're gonna heart
shaped penises? No, first of all, how would that work?
That would be really crooked, heart shaped boobs, maybe like

(01:47):
two boobs. And then you know, imagine a penis that
goes around in the shape of heart. I'm not going
to I'm not going to imagine that. So you imagine
heart shaped pizza. Nothing your heart out. Yeah, I'll be
at a restaurant. Okay, you know what I wanted? It
like card shaped pizza. I'm saying it's just not. That's
like Mickey Mouse pancakes. It tastes the same, that's it. Yeah. No,

(02:08):
when you go to Disney the Mickey Mouse waffles completely
different taste. Everyone know, you know what they taste like.
They taste like twenty five dollars a waffle. They taste
like two dollars to get in the park. That's what
they taste like. They taste like one waffle and then
two little waffles attached to make ears silly. Why you're
not even getting hold on? Hold on, I know that

(02:28):
it's a Mickey shaped waffle maker. They don't really attach them.
I get it. I know, but I know. But you're
you're not even getting a full order. I give me
three large waffles, please, I don't need to ear sized waffles. Well, no,
it's all one waffle. It's all connected by the way.
I's about to say, don't tweet me, which reminds me.
I want to update everyone from last from episode. I'm
not doing Valentine's Day. Just let me slip this in.

(02:51):
So we were talking about the upside out outlets in
the studio and how a three prong outlet is usually
traditionally used to be the two um rectangular slots for
the plug and in the round one for the ground
underneath right to on top one on the box. Apparently
that'shioned well now elect the electrical code in most places

(03:12):
now is upside down of that, so the prong is
on top. The problem is most box plugs now don't
fit right or they're upside down, and so nineties seven
electricians listen to our podcast that right now. One guy
was three days later. He just made the rule. So
you know we're good. But who knew that that that's

(03:33):
modern day coding. Because they're afraid that something is gonna
fall on top of the plug, knock it out of
the socket. At least hit the ground first, the ground
plug first, when it's upside down. When it's the other way,
it hits the electricity first. Now I don't know how
often drop off the wall plug. I don't know. Apparently

(03:54):
it happened once, maybe a house burned down. So now
I can't sleep at night because all my plugs are
the way. You didn't believe me that there are people
out there that have the old fashioned sockets with only
two and whenever they get a three pronged plug, disgusted,
they would saw the thing off, and you thought I
was joking. Several people tweeted and oh, I did it,

(04:16):
or my grandmother did it, or I know someone in
my building. Don't do that people, So it's so dangerous
you can scratch it. You could not only that you're
gonna start a fire. There's a reason why that third
pin needs to be there for the ground plug. Look,
you don't want to put the third pin on the top, okay,
but you don't break the plug. You're like it off.
I'm gonna jerry rig this thing up, Jerry rig and
I'm gonna make it work. No, you're buably an adapter

(04:37):
for nineties seven cents and I'm depot. But rather have
my house burned down. You know that thing. I ripped
that thing off. The man's not gonna tell me how
to plug in my electronic device. Sometimes day you always
get sidetrack ahead. Yeah, I just wanted to know, first
of all, if you think, in your humble opinion, humble

(04:59):
does one half ago in a relationship to have to
have a successful Valentine's Day with minimally speaking, just give me. Look,
what are we to do to get over the hump?
To get to get a hump? Because I don't want
to get extravagant and like you know, but unfortunately that's
what Valentine's Day is. But that's what some pee, that's

(05:20):
what you have allowed it to become. How I have
set those ground rules because year one you were extravagant,
Year two you should have been like as extravagant is
the last year and slowly phased out so that after
like ten years or at McDonald's. So I I start high,
yes and go low. Right. Look, she knows how you
feel about her. You're very generous to her. I am all,

(05:42):
by the way, with her all year. Yes you do.
You are not one of those Hallmark guys who goes
it's a holiday. You're a nicer all the time. But
I'm gonna be the guy that did the right thing.
I made the reservation in advance, so you know that
I was thinking of her. You get the card, maybe
some flowers, and get a She isn't like steak now

(06:03):
she does, but she prefers. She prefers to halibate just
for the hell, just for the halibut. And and and
are you going to a Victoria's Secret event after that?
I did that one year. Did we talk about them?
We did? Well, we've been we've been on for that
long y third year coming up the summer year. No,
we're not doing anything crazy like that. But I will say,

(06:25):
wherever I go, I will where I probably will wear red.
Is she gonna wear red? Yeah? You can't both wear
red couples. I've seen it, Brodie. I've seen couples wear
red and pink. It's bad enough people do that at
a music you're going to be out there wear red
people on Valentine's Day. Couples they go out to dinner
and they go out and they wear red together. No, no,

(06:47):
what's wrong with that? Then you're gonna look like you're
gonna look like her, her gay friend from work. Get
it not on Valentine's Day? Yeah, she's like, oh, I
got my guy. He's here, he's with me. No. No,
And I'm not saying where does that mean day? I'm
just saying, you can't wear red. Were a plaid maybe,
but not alread? Can't match her? You know, wear a
solid red shirt. It's gonna you look like it's Christmas.

(07:10):
I was gonna match the green, but whatever, that'll be
matching on Valentine's Day? How donout you match where you're
a couple? You both like Italian with black hair? Isn't
that enough? Okay, you're gonna wear red? I was gonna now,
now you just kind of you talked me out of it.
Sign you actually harassed me out of it when you
never wear red. I have a couple of red shirts.

(07:33):
You have solid red like button down shirts. So you
have a short sleeve which I wore to the pizza festival. Yes,
the sauce doesn't show up. I'm not exactly right. That's
the one you went to it out me this year. Yeah,
you gotta bring that up. Yeah, I didn't mean to.
And then I wear I have another red shirt for
Oh so Christmas, you're right Christmas? Yeah, and then Valentine's Day?

(07:54):
What are pink? I got plenty of pink at I
got a Peter malar pink sure. By the way, we
have a new Peter Malack type. Explained later, explained later. Alright,
so you guys know what that Peter Malarck commercial. Can
we just finalized? Don't wear red? Okay, all run red?

(08:15):
I do have a pink shirt. Looks like a tubal
lipstick our pink shirt. Wear red, that's still Valentine's pink.
You're gonna wear pink. Real men wear pink. Wait a minute,
I said don't wear red. So your response to that
is I'm gonna wear pink. Yeah, I'm not gonna look bad.
I'm gonna look worse. No, pink, pinks a great color.
You can't rock pink. No, you're not a real man.

(08:35):
Now I can rock lavender. You're a charcoal I do rock.
I rocked the hell out of charcoal and blue. That's
just Navy Navy. So so Peter Millar. So, if you
haven't been listening, is a company that just got into
our ear somehow because of this repetitive commercial that Proti's
trying to find. I have the commercial, okay, and we
we put Peter Peter Malar. You'll hear it. Peter Millar

(08:57):
would like to introduce the gentleman listening to their twin
nineteen summer favorite, the Peter Millard Seaside Polo, because the
Peter Millar Seaside Polo is the most comfortable but over
and over and by the way, prior to this commercial,
and I was talking about it on the podcast Sponsor
not yet, I never really thought twice about Peter Millar.
I thought it was some golf shirt gear whatever. But

(09:19):
now you know about But now now there's been Peter
Malar sightings everywhere. And I even screenshot at you a
couple to Peter Millar videos. I'm like, oh my god,
it's happening again. So it's like all of a sudden,
we bring it something to the forefront of attention and
it's in your face everywhere, Peter Malon, right, and so
so I've all I've done is seen Peter Milair now right,
and still not a sponsor. Not a sponsor. They should

(09:39):
have been on board months ago. By the way, it
would be great if we had a not a sponsor,
sponsor like they paid us to say they have a sponsor.
Come on, Peter. So we have a new Peter Millar.
So we've played this guy before on our show. This
is Mike Francessa. He is a legendary guy in New
York radio. But over the years, over his thirty five years,
whatever it's been, he's been a line of Fox given

(10:01):
on the radio, right, zero Fox given. Now he doesn't
even It's like he has a microphone in front of
him and he's just taught, grumbling and talking to himself. Right.
He used to have a partner and they would have
fun conversations, mad dog. Now he just sits in a
room by himself. Listen, he's excellent at what he does.
He's amazing. He's an amazing guy with amazing mind. But
he's like he's don't give a fun about the listener,

(10:24):
but also pauses forever. He takes his time. He looks
on his phone for stuff. He repeats. Here's a clip
of him and through his phone for fifty three seconds
trying to find the answer to something live on the radio.
And there's nobody else in the studio to bounce off of.
At least Brodie and I have each other. So if
one of us fucking has been in our phone looking

(10:44):
for something, like right now, Brodie looking for something, I
can actually vamp and talk like this and talk to
the audience. But not Mike Francesse like he's by himself,
so he starts grumbling ship to himself, but he can't
find let's playing the clip of him scrolling through. So
he's he's the local afternoon sports guy. He or in
New York, at least he was. Now he's retiring. He's
gonna do part time. But he has a Tennessee to
repeat himself. So here he is looking through his phone

(11:07):
for something. This was on the I like him as
a player, I really do. Um let's see, I'm not
getting the reds come up here. You don't give a
funk about us? No, he was number one. This was

(11:30):
the number one after the trap. Now he's also on television.
They film him in the rate and the station. He's
got a camera on him. I can't find anything in
his phone because isn't how the phone works. Well, get him,
I can't find them right now, any good fun. I
couldn't like hand his phone to his producer and say,
pulled us up for me? Right? So after all that,

(11:53):
but to me, that that's a major. To me, that's
a major like X, that's a that's a red flag,
and that is that a big fuck you to the audience.
It's like I don't value value your time, all right.
So he was talking about the New York Mets. About
a month ago. They were about to be sold to
Steve Cohen. Steve Cohen is a billionaire, billionaire billionaire. He

(12:16):
would have been the richest owner in baseball, but the
Mets blew it. However, at the time of this clip,
he was talking about how the Mets owners don't have
a lot of money and they're very moderate within their spending.
But this guy is gonna come in make a big splash.
He wants headlines. He really is an out there guy.
So see if you think I'll tell you what he
refers to him as flamboyant. So the same way we were,

(12:38):
we counted to Peter Millars. This is in the span
of about a minute and a a half. How many times
does he referred to Steve Cohen as flamboyant? I would
think he wants to make a splash. I think that's
who he is. If you read up on him, you'll
know he is a very flamboyant guy. He's a controversial guy.
It's a flamboyant guy. Okay. Uh, he's got a lot

(12:59):
of money, He's you know, he's a he's a guy
who's like I said, he's controversially, he's flamboyant, and he's
got a ton of money and uh, and this is
a very flamboyant man. So this is a very aggressive
you know, this is a guy. You know these big
Wall Street guys, they're very competitive. They are very very aggressive.

(13:20):
And you know what, that's that's how they're gonna play it. Cone.
I can tell you this right now. I know enough
about him. This guy is gonna want every big He's
gonna want if there's a big player out there, he's
gonna want him. He's gonna want the biggest. He's gonna
want the best. That's how this guy lives that he's

(13:41):
a flamboyant guy. He owns a lot of art. He's
got a lot of it. He's a spender. This guy
is flamboyant. He shows off his wealth. He is gonna
want to play it at the highest level. I'm just
telling you so six times in that clip and the
other way. There were other words he used over and
over again too, like aggressive and here's the sixth time.

(14:03):
But did you notice he goes he's flamboyant, he has
a lot of art. He was Is he trying to
imply that he's gay. I don't know what he means.
He was trying to believe be politically correct, and he
wanted he probably wanted to say other things that he
that he later was like, no, I'm not gonna say
that because that's gonna get me in trouble. Or he's
just doing a synonym search in his head. He's looking

(14:24):
to he wants to come off smarter than he is,
and he wants to use a colorful vocabulary. But he
couldn't find a synonym of flamboyant. You think, yeah, I
think that's what it is. Well, he's just rambling he's
trying to kill four hours of a radio show. Oh,
judging from the last clip, we pay no but to

(14:47):
me that the first clip was more of a just
a blatant disregard for the listener, like, you know what,
you tune into me every day, you give me your time.
I the least I could do is give you quality content.
But you know what, you're gonna wait for me. Everyone's
gonna wait fifty three seconds in that clip there with
the flamboyance, maybe he didn't want to offend, so he

(15:07):
felt like he was trying to say the only safe
word he could use was flamboyant. But he could say
he's a show off. Showoff was what the word that
I was thinking that he could have used, he's a
headline flashy, but he kept saying flamboyant. Flamboyant is like code,
like he's on Broadway like that. You know what I'm saying,

(15:27):
Like people would use that terminology, you know, Yeah, well whatever,
I've lost interest in him, Yeah, well yeah, I know
over the years. But you know, unfour, it's unfortunate because
he does have great insight. He's incredibly rude to his
callers and he cuts them off really quick. Yeah. Absolutely,
He's like he doesn't care for and a lot of

(15:48):
times he doesn't hear them, so he yells at them
because he they said something, but they said the opposite,
and he's yelling and they're like, I didn't say that side. Yeah,
he should have stayed retired the first time. Can I
play one more? So? Last week we were talking about
great states. We're talking about the I played this clip
about Clarma Caskell from a United States Senator from the
great state of Missouri, the great state of Missouri. So

(16:11):
we were talking about great states and how every state
can't be great. So you said, well, if I had
to pick a state, that's right. You said, maybe Wyoming
is not so great. So that day, riding home listening
to the news, there was a conversation on the Electoral
College and how some states have no people living there
they want representations. So this was what was on the radio.

(16:33):
Part of the goal of the Senate is to make
it so that there is value in living in Wyoming
and weighing mm things as opposed just being like, well,
I guess I'm just gonna se a California New York
want you, Well, if you're argument is that people in
Wyoming should have a voice in the presidency. Well, they
already have a voice in the Senate, so perhaps it's
not as urgent a need for them there, right, So
if you want, if Wyoming wants to say some value
in living in Wyoming. So they agree, they agree of

(16:54):
all the Scary says, So I send them that clip.
Some people tweeted, I'm gonna read what the tweets are.
But here's the thing. So I send that clip to Scary.
I'm like, Scary, listen to that. They were talking about
Wyoming in giving you an example of a state that
you know doesn't get a lot of respect. So Scary
writes me back, what are the odds? Fifty two one, Scary,

(17:15):
the odds of picking a state is the same as
the one you picked one? He said, what are the odds?
What are the odds? No, what are you but listening closely,
though you there's something you're not factoring. It's not funny.
What are the odds? Meaning? What are the odds that
you have heard a story like that on the very

(17:38):
day I said that? So those are astronomical? Yes, I understand, Okay,
so don't take me literally. Okay, So let's read some
of this. Uh, milk manager, manager, I'm sorry, milk um
m E l k m n a g R milk manager.
Is he a manager? He says? Great, we told people

(17:58):
tot milk man. No, yeah, we told people the hashtag
great state. He says, I'm from Florida. I live in Montana.
Everything you said about Montana is true, but I like
it because it's quiet. But not a great state. Nebraska.
Then Chris says, I'm gonna say not a great state. Pennsylvania,
not a great state. Great city, Philadelphia is great, great

(18:21):
Pittsburgh's Granton is a fun little town, Irish countryman everything
Bagels with a Z says, uh, I'm gonna come out
and say the obvious. The state of New Jersey not
so great. It basically has no reason to exist once
the gas prices went up. Oh that's harsh. They did
go up, though. Do they put tax on it? Okay? Uh?

(18:43):
Megan extra And says, I agree with you about North
and South Dakota. They should be one state. I'm from
North Dakota and it's just flat. Okay, So we can't
can't argue with that. Present. Adam Catch says, fuck. The
state of Indiana absolute garbage hashtag great state. Someone agree
with me on the frozen hostile wasteland of Montana. Do
you have that one? Hold On? I called Montana frozen

(19:05):
hostal wasteland and they said that's partly true. Hold On,
I gotta find that Joel Diamond Guy Joel says, scary Jones.
Have you ever been to Cheyenne or Wyoming? L O L.
I live in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Great state. I laughed so
hard when you called out Wyoming and then Cheyenne. I'm
a slice for life. But now it's officially brody and
scary because you insulted my state. I didn't insulted your

(19:27):
Your state insulted itself by not having anything cool to
do there. Don't look at me. Titius Snodgrass, who is
a regular tweeter of ours, She said, West Virginia is
a pretty good state. That's why it's brody and scary.
Way she didn't put an and she put brody scary.
She said, brody. It's the Appalachian Mountains. I want you
to know. I know you said, don't tweet you, but

(19:48):
I couldn't help myself. I got I think I got
the mountains wrong. Last week I don't remember what I said,
but it's Appalachian. Okay. She says West Virginia is a
good state, but she didn't say which was a bad state.
And now now now that you're talking about the state thing,
I'm looking for the state. Tara Baggerman, who we quoted
last week. She's the dog trainer who listen to both
of my podcasts. She says, uh, hashtag great state ever

(20:11):
driven through Louisiana. My advice don't nothing but snakes and
rats and terrible rest stops. Okay, I'm not a fan
of shady Juw Mobster says, uh, bad state, great state
of Montana. Oh hub hub one to O two says
great state Kentucky. Never been but people suck from there

(20:33):
in Ohio to that's harsh hub Oh. I was okay,
all right, um yeah, while we're doing tweets, I'm gonna
be my princess. I'm gonna be um. Let's see here, uh,
let's see trying to find out on the scirrel. Remember
I told you that about lemons. I don't know about lemons,

(20:55):
about lemons, people eating lemons. Well, le Beau l A
b e a u X on Twitter said that they
love Lemons with Little Salt lives in Arizona and lucky
to have a lemon tree in the backyard. Hashtag suck
a lemon. So it is a It is a fruit

(21:16):
for people to eat. It is something that people actually
will snack on other than apples and oranges. Here, Brodie
have a lemon for not doing it. That's like, why
would I choose a lemon when I could have a
grapefruit or an orange or a steak for that matter.
All Right, I'm gonna take my head out of my
phone and contrate back on the podcast. Speaking of a food,
Can I just can I just tell one thing? Sure?

(21:37):
You know what? I have a story about a vegetable
that I want to tell you guys about. Well, i'll
tell you about right after this. Hey, this is Joe
Gadda from a Practical Jokers and you're listening to two
of my favorite idiots, the Brooklyn Boys with Brody and Scary.
All right, So I said I was gonna tell you
about a vegetable. Yeah. Now, it's it's rare that I
know anything about a vegetable. This is this is mind

(21:58):
boggling because you know a lot about a lot, but
things that you don't eat or putting putting your mouth.
I know, I know how things are spelled usually, and
how to pronounce that. I feel like you ignore vegetables completely.
What could you possibly tell me about a vegetable I
don't already know, not that you don't know, but but
someone else didn't know. So I'm online at my grocery
store and shut that out shop right, and not a sponsor.

(22:23):
That's why I didn't say it anyway. So I'm online.
I'm second in line. There's a guy shopping by himself
from self, big cart of food, and he's got a
lot of vegetables, and the way you you know most places,
when you ring up vegetables, you gotta look for the
vegetable code. They go in, they go, oh, that's a
number seventy nine fruit and it comes up apple and
then they tell you away whatever. So she's looking at

(22:44):
this bag of peppers and she's like, I don't I
don't see the sticker on there. And he says, oh, yeah,
those are whatever, seventy nine cents whatever they were. I
remember the price is well, I need I need to
know what what the skew is or do you know
what they are? I don't know what these are. There's
a reason why she was asking the number, right, She
doesn't know. She doesn't know what kind of it was
a pepper, so he says, oh yeah. She goes, I

(23:05):
can type it in if you tell me the type
of pepper it is. He says, it's a publamo pepper, pablamo, pablamo.
So she starts typing in pablamo and she goes, there's
nothing coming up. He's like, what do you mean it's
not coming up. She goes, well, can you spell it
for me? And he says p A b l a
m O pablamo. Oh my god. Right, So I'm set. Thanks,

(23:25):
thanks man, That's where I was going with it. So
I'm standing there. I'm going it's poblano. Why don't you
jump in? Because the guy was a big dude, and
I thought maybe he would get upset if I corrected
his spelling, so I said, So I'm waiting and she's like,
I can't fight it. He's like, why I gotta go. Well,
guess what. They're both they're both to blame because she
should have he's never heard of it and he can't spell.
But she works. Then he's like, so, I said, so,

(23:48):
I said, those are on sale and he says, yeah,
who's I said, are they good? Oh? Man, these are
my favorite pepper. There is favorite pepper. He calls him pablamos.
If they're your favorite, you should know what your pepper
had a spell it at least, so, I said. So
I saw I trying to figure out what you know,
I've never had those. I've had a similar pepper. I said, So,

(24:13):
maybe they put it in the system wrong. Maybe they
you know, put try poblano pepper. And she she goes, oh, yeah,
that was in there, and he goes, Okay, he goes,
so he says, rather than figuring out what I did,
he says, is it the same price as the poblamo?
She shouldn't. I'm sorry, but if she's working there, she
should know her produce. But there's a lot of produce,

(24:33):
Like I mean, she doesn't know. Okay, here's a little tip.
I bet you didn't know. Do you know? The stickers
mean something in the on the fruit and the vegetables.
When they put a little sticker on the on the fruit,
like an apple or an orange has a has a
sticker on it. You know that if the number starts
with the number nine, it's organic. If it does it scam.

(24:57):
Wasn't that wrong? If it's the arts with a four,
then it's regular generic, you know, not organic. I think
if it starts with a three or two, it's some
kind of a hybrid or it's a GMO fruit or
something like that. Anyway, just to let you know. If
it starts with the number nine, and this is universal

(25:17):
throughout the board across the country. Um so the more
you know, the more it starts with nine on the sticker,
it's it's or. And what if the sign says organic
and all the fruit there is more money? Not a
good hint. Also, it's still the sticker. Will the sticker
on the skew the number of the sticker will start
with nine? All right? I had a valuable lesson learned

(25:39):
on the elevator lab Monday. What's that? So I got
on the elevator and there's a guy. Don't trust a fart.
There's a guy. There's a guy in the back of
the elevator standing on the elevator. It's coming down, right,
so I have to take the elevator down. So I
get on the elevator and I hear you know Chris
from light f M. Yes, so Chris comes running, Hey,
hall the elevator. So so he's I'll be there in

(25:59):
a minute. So I put my foot in the door
and I say to the guy in the back of
the elevator, is it okay if I hold the door
for a coworker? And he smiles at me, like, yeah,
that's fine. So I let so because it's not you know,
I could say, holy elevator, but it's not my place
to right. So he's already putting you in the middle
of this, right, So I let Chris on the elevator
and I turned it a guy and I say, hey,

(26:21):
I'm sorry. You know. Chris gets off on the second floor.
He goes down one floor and I said, hey, I'm sorry.
You know, just because I held the door for a friend,
it doesn't mean you approved that I could open the
door for a friend and hold it. I said, It's
like when I let a car. If you let a
car in front of you on the parkway, you're doing that,
but you're speaking for everyone everybody behind you. And this
is the same thing as the uh the flight line

(26:42):
we remember with the with the group one to five
or or the or someone cut the line in a
you were trying to get on an airplane, right, Yeah,
we did this, right. So I said the guy, Hey,
I'm terribly sorry, I said, you know, I'm joking with him.
I'm like, you know, it's like when you let somebody
in front of you on the parkway and an exit
is something you of giving him permission, but everyone behind
you didn't get permission. I said, So, I'm sorry. You

(27:03):
know what I mean, all right, And so I had
this whole conversation with him while your foot was in
the door of the yellow no no, after Chris got
off way to go down and cutting on the flight,
and I say, I speak quickly and he goes look,
he looks at me, and he goes on Russian. He
didn't even understand I'm doing. I'm apologized. I asked his permission.
He smiled. Then I then I like, I give him

(27:24):
this whole story and make an analogy. I laughed. I
give him the cell you're a good sport, and he's like,
don't Russians rus it does. So I go, hey, you
go on your bed self. Love that. Yeah. Then I
made a political joke and I let him I'm not
gonna tell you the joke, but it doesn't matter. He's

(27:45):
Russian something. I know where your mind goes it did
have something to do? Did you figure that one out? Oh?
I know the guy who called it a plablamo pepper.
He didn't figure that out. Yeah. Um, I got stalked
by a card dealership this week front Door. Yeah. Now,
somebody who works here has a relative who works at
that car dealership. So I told you, I'm looking to

(28:06):
buy a new a new new car. I bought a
used car recently for my daughter and I bought a
new I'm looking to buy my new car. My lease
is up in May. The rates are really bad in
December and January for financing and leasing. So I call
this dealership up where this guy we work with has
a relative of works there. I don't use I don't
give my name, and I've previously I had gone in
and given my name like five years ago. So I

(28:28):
call up and I get a woman on the phone
exp be someone's sales. I'm in sales. How can help you? Hi?
I just want to know what the rates are for
leasing and financing of this car that I want, because
they were bad and now that it's the new month
in February. I know the rates change. Oh, let me
let me check that, Jeff. Uh, and when would you

(28:48):
be looking to purchase the car? I go, just I
just want to know the rates and uh, what's your
name in number? In case we're disconnected? And you know what,
if we get disconnected, I'll call you back. Don't you worry.
Can you just tell me what the finance rate is
on the car and the lead price for such and
such car. She gets fact to me, says, uh, that
haven't changed since last month. I said, all right, just well,
why don't you give me your name and I'll call
you if the right No, I'm good, I'm good, but

(29:10):
you have a nice day. Thank you so much. Okay.
Five minutes later I get a text from her, it
was so nice talking to you today. I hope I
can be of assistance in the future. What whoa so
that come from? They either they have call or I
D or they have switchboard caller. I D because I
had switchboarded to to get the sales, so I didn't
get directly to home. So now now they're trying to

(29:31):
sell you. Hold on such is if you need anything,
you know, I'm here for you. Let me know, here's
my name, just whatever, okay, all right, it was a
courtesy tax, but I was like, I'm trying not to
give my name. Whatever. I get an email from the
sales manager, probably a form email. Hey, thanks for stopping
by and inquiring it our dealership blah blah blah. You know,

(29:52):
please let us know if you need anything else. We're
always available. Whatever. Okay, so good an email. I get
a text message from another salesperson. I underst and you're
in the market for a Dodge charger. Oh my god,
they sold your name to their fucking third party. No,
it's this dealership, the same dealership. They're poaching. They're poaching
off each other to try and get your business right,
So so then I get to do that. I get

(30:14):
another text message now from the first woman. So just
checking in to see if anything's changed. Nothing's changed it
because because it's all working in the same roof. Right,
it's been a week and a half since I just
asked a question, and the rates haven't changed. You know,
I was calling about now. I didn't give you my name,
but you're taking advantage of the fact that you have
my number. Then I get a phone call on Friday,

(30:37):
and they said, hey, it's uh, such and such from
such and such dealership. I just want to say, uh,
we've got a big sale coming up next week for
President's Week, but uh, you know, if you we'd love
to have you come down check out our inventory. I said, listen,
I'm not looking to buy a car un till May.
I just want enough to rate. I'm good, all right,
No problem. Saturday. Another one call eleven o'clock on Saturday.

(31:00):
You you gotta be kidding. I'm gonna say his name
was was Donnie. I think it was Donnie. Hey, hey,
it's this is Donnie from such and such dealership. Yeah.
I just wanted off if you're gonna be keeping you
two o'clock appointment, We got you in here for two o'clock.
I just want to confirm that you're coming. I don't
have an appointment today. No, yeah, you have an appointment today.
You lucked got you from two to two thirty. You

(31:21):
locked in there, so, uh, you know, I just want
to make sure you're coming to two o'clock if you
need to make a later appointment or earlier. It's Saturday.
I don't have an appointment, Donnie, And did you make
an appointment. Oh, I have you in my system? Yeah? Yeah,
I've gotten four text messages. This is the second phone call.
Plus I've gotten two emails already in the five days
since I called to ask a question and I didn't

(31:41):
give my name. So I speak to the person who
works here, the manager. Well, I'm afraid to they'll they'll
think I called again. So I spoke to my coworker here,
our co worker, and I say to them, Hey, can
you go ask your relative of works there what's going on?
And they said, oh, I know what's going on. Do
that to me. They stalk me. It's their new customer

(32:03):
service initiative where they want to do they give everybody
on like getting you, getting you, getting you, and they
go and they tell you they made an appointment for you.
Because some people will go, well, if you're have an
appointment for me, I might be in the area. I'll
just come in. Wow. Because they have a small percentage
of desperate today to move cars, well, lower the fucking rates,
how about that? So then I get a letter from them.

(32:25):
They've got no integrity and they're willing to walk all
over each other for the same business. Today's Friday, the
commissioned days. This happened last week. Yesterday, I get a
letter in the mail that says, big President's weekend sale,
zero percent financing on select models up to twelve thousand
off M S r P. Crazy deal. We'll take your
lease over. We don't care, but we bring you bring

(32:47):
your car in whatever. Bad credit, no credit, no money. Right?
So I called. I called, but I start six. We
gotta make room for one, right, So I start six,
seven before my before I dial, because that blocks a
phone umber makes it come up private better. So I
started six seven of them. I say, yeah, yeah, I
got a question for you. I got this letter says, uh,

(33:07):
select vehicles, all all these companies, right, what about the charger?
Yeah that's not included. Oh yeah, why did they waste
your time? They know what you know what? They know
what I want. They know what you want. So you
think I'm gonna buy a truck? Yeah, or a jeep? Bastards,
I could say. So, you're not the only one who's
been stalked. I'm being stalked by a real estate guy,

(33:31):
a real turn. Maybe about two years ago I entertained
the thought of moving from New Jersey City to Manhattan.
So I Uh, you know, I was talking to a
real turn hold on, I got an number calling you.
Put that on the on the Hello, let's see if
it's maybe then Hello, who's to Oh I'm sorry, I know,

(34:02):
I understand what you're calling. I already bought a car.
But but but thank you. I'm good. Uh and I
don't need a loan, so I'm fine though, but thank you.
Oh my god, this tast no problem. You have a
good day. Okay, yeah, okay, okay, Well there was one, right,

(34:22):
So that was the other part of the conversation. In
looking to buy a used cardcast and looking to buy
a used car from my kid, I google. I googled
used car loans, right, so you get get like carvon
on cars directing car Gurus, which, by the way, is
car Guru. I'm sorry, I'm not calling it gurus. I
don't care. It's guru. Yeah, of course, but I called

(34:43):
him and like you could say it either way. Whatever.
So I put in I put in a uh, I
filled out a questionnaire for an order loan from one company, right,
And then when you get to the middle part, it
says what type of car on cars direct dot com
will you want to buy? So I don't want to
buy a cause direct, I just wanted to loan. I
already have the car picked out. That was all I did.

(35:05):
Seven credit unions are calling me, everybody, Will you open
the floodgates? I know, I know, I know, opened the floodgates.
That's what happened. That's what that was. I all I
did was make an inquiry that I may be selling
my apartment. Maybe No, that was that was two years ago.
Oh you're not moving? No. But so there's one guy.

(35:26):
I'm on his fucking mailing list and he's got my number.
I gotta call. Hey, Hey, scary, Hi, howaiia. This is
Dan from blah blah blah agency. Hey, yeah, you are
any movement there on your unit? So many answers I
could have given him, but I said, I said no,

(35:47):
I said, listen, I told you in the beginning I
would contact you when I'm ready to sell. I said, because, Dan,
where the funk am I gonna go? Where am I going? You?
So you think that by by making this call today,
you're gonna say, you know, oh, well, the market's way up.
You can get top dollar for your condo unit. You know,

(36:09):
now is the time to make that move. Where am
I going? I can make all this money, but I
still got to buy something to replace it with. I'm
not going to live on the street in a box.
The only way it works if you move to a
cheaper state so you can make a problem. But why
is this until you're talking about probably the number one
life decision in in moving your money and moving your

(36:30):
and planning your your future is what kids? Maybe no,
but I'm talking about whatever. It's your big it's the
biggest purchase you'll make in your life. Yeah. Probably you
think by you cold calling me with a marketing call,
you're gonna get me to change my mind. You know
you're trusting flowing ten free boxes for your move. Deals

(36:52):
aren't made over the phone like that. I'm not just
gonna like flip my decision on the phone with the
guy because he said in me NonStop, but he calls
me like every month. And I said, Dan, I said,
I told you I will call you when I'm ready. Yeah,
but you have to understand market conditions are an all
time high, and now is the time. I'm like, Yeah,

(37:13):
but Dan, I got nowhere to go. I'm not moving anywhere.
I didn't, but I said, trust me, when I'm good
and ready, you'll know when it's time for me to
sell my place. What it really means is my my
apartment probably is in a very high value area, and
that the prices gone up so much. They don't give
a funk about you. They just care about flipping it
for top so they could sell it to someone else.
Dan's sales commission has been slow, and they told Dan,

(37:36):
you got to make some sales. You're out of a job.
But in that industry, it's dumb because you're you're talking
to a wall. Trust me, when when I walk into
your realty, you know that that that is movement, and
I mean business. But already that I've had, I've had
things in place that have happened to that point like
I've I've also I've gone to look for a new

(37:57):
place in the city. I've got you know, you have
to move your job? Yeah, right, things like that. You
know that when I walk in that I'm halfway serious.
But there are people like you. You're called calling me.
I'm watching holds on a fucking Sunday afternoon. Wait a minute,
I can make a profit. I'm out. You're a single
guy who does that, who makes decisions like that. You
know what, somebody there must be one person because I

(38:19):
got cold called by a realtor and they're like, oh,
they set up with a whole bunch of offers and
then they're like, you know what, all right, let's talk.
I'm gonna move based on this conversation. Coincidentally, he called
at a time when you were thinking about moving. Maybe
you're gonna upgrade your house, maybe you're gonna move in
with somebody, and you were just about to get ready.
He could be timing wise, right, he could be. You

(38:40):
don't know, I mean, could happen. I mean it's as
who do that that are wasting them when you when
you when you go on zillo, how many conversions are
made that way? I don't know why you're gonna be jewish,
you know what I'm saying. Yeah, if you go on
zillo dot com, you can find house listings and prices,
but treat easy. You can put your own listing and Zello.
I can only speak to Zillo's I know about Zillo.

(39:02):
You can put down like what you're looking for your house,
or you can put down and make me move price,
make me move price. Oh that's the equivalent to buy it.
Now on what that means is what that means is,
let's say you have a house where three hundred thousands talk.
But if somebody really wants that street, really wants to
be by the school or the train or the temple
of the church, and they've got money and this is

(39:24):
the perfect location, and they like your pool in the backyard,
they gotta have it. So you know, I'll go. You
know you want me to move, even though I'm not
thinking I'm moving for I'll move like that so that
you know what you can you can when it comes,
give me and make me move. Price like, I'm not
moving for three hundred. I could sell a house with
three twenty. I'm not my house. I'm just saying in general,
I could sell a house for three twenty. You give

(39:45):
me four fifty. I'll go to the wife and go,
we've just been an hundred thirty dollars. We weren't thinking about.
Let's move because now you've got profit. Right now you've
got money you weren't thinking about you can put down
on somebody else's house and make them move. I like that.
Here's that extrogery in thirty for your dump. I'll make
your ass move, Okay, that that that, How about that?

(40:05):
I got some email for you? All right, that's fine,
I mean it's not fine. I just a couple of emails.
I'm just you know, my legs shaking. I got a
couple of things that didn't let him out. I got
no no you go emails. I got some emails. When
you see your leg is shaking, is just like when
you have to go to the bathroom. A couple of
people made me angry, and I got I got a
guy that made me piste off. But I don't know
if I should expose him. Here. Well, i'll tell you what.

(40:26):
I'm just gonna you know what I'm going to because
I want to give everyone an example of how how
to do things and how not to do things and
get your points across. Do you want to work your
way up? And I'll talk about the guy who critiqued
our podcast, and then we'll talk about the person who
could teach you. Yeah, okay, I'm not going to mention
names because we're on good terms now. But this is

(40:46):
what they wrote. Now. Now listen, if you agree with them,
I apologize. We're doing our best here, he wrote, I
missed the brody rants lately. It's been all about punctuation
and improperly worded phrases or sentences. I agree with him, Okay,
we're I agree with him. All right. We spent a
lot of time on correcting bullshit. I'm not going to
play the cruise clip. Then save that. You save that

(41:09):
for next week's podcast because we're on vacation next week.
Oh do we not tell? And then he wrote, this
isn't something that keeps the listeners? Now, he said, can
we get back to the way the podcast used to be?
So what I said, now, look, we'll listen. We're scared
and are honest people. I could have hidden that and
be like, don't mention that. No, we we we come
out in the open with pretty much everything that. So

(41:30):
I went back and I looked at the interactions we've
had with this gentleman and who has been all negative, no, no,
all positive. But over the past month he sent us
a picture of white milk, which bothered him right, and
a sign, if I remember correctly, a sign with us.
Hold on, let me see what what what he did? Um?

(41:53):
I said? So I wrote back, we appreciate your feedback
and appreciate that you listen, but if you don't mind
leave out the part where you explain what listeners enjoy.
I didn't quite like that very much. I felt like,
you know, I feel like you know that telling us
what we what listeners? Are you speaking for everyone? Yeah,
don't do that right, you don't like it, that's fine, okay,

(42:14):
but you know you want to give you a feedback.
That's fine, So I said, talking about punctuation and improperly
worded phrases a sentences. You sent us a picture of
a pin number photograph and of white milk, So you're
guilty of the two things you said we do too often.
So he wrote back, yeah, he's He was like, he's
not mad. He was like, no valid point. And then
I said, look about rants. We have rants, but if

(42:37):
we don't do one one week, it's because they didn't
happen to me or scary, and we're not going to
make up a rant. We have to. Now I have
a rant. You want to you want well, well, Nicole Morelli,
go ahead. She loves uh. She seems to like them.
The double phrases, thing like the the pin number and
the GPS system. She sent us a screen shot. She's

(43:00):
part of the problem. I guess right, it's okay, Nicole Morelli,
she found h a t M machine on Jeopardy was
a clue ready, Oh, the whole category? Hey, Brooklyn boys,
I texted into the Big Show today about a t
M machine being an answer on the redundant Phrases category. Right.
I thought my favorite podcast would want to know about

(43:21):
this picture attached, So she sent us this screenshot of
the Jeopardy clue, which was an abbreviation begins this redundant
phrase for a device outside some banks to make the
withdrawals and deposits. And the answer was what is a machine?
That's how they had a whole category on Jeopardy with that. Anyway,

(43:42):
thank you. Nicole has been in our life for twenty
years listening to the Big Show and listen to us.
Uh want a grammar police? Are we allowed to do that? Now?
I feel like I don't know. I don't know this
said you said, I agree with I agree with him.
That's what you head, Well, Melissa Jacobs just saying that
you don't worry about it, skip it, skip it. Why

(44:04):
would we skip it? Not? Because we just came off
of that high. Yeah, you know, well at the Genda
love grama pololize GMA police police running the board so low,
Muissa Jacobs says an email Boys podcast at gmail dot com.

(44:26):
She said, so, my husband and I were sitting in
bed and talking about the podcast with him and I
from Halsey the song she does a song called him
and I What's Easy about how it was incorrect? And
I was mentioning that Brody says that you take out
the other person and you can tell how the sentence
is supposed to go between me and I. But he

(44:48):
says that's wrong. I asked, how well, if John and
I are going to the store, it doesn't work with
I or me if you take out John. Mind blown.
My husband is now singing the Brody is Wrong jingle.
By the way, I'm so far behind because I'm listening
from the beginning, So see you guys in about seventy

(45:09):
more episodes, which is when she will hear this finally
right on her on this podcast. That's Nicole. Yeah, I'm sorry,
that's that's Melissa Jacobs. Um just Desserts from Dylan E
at A l A at gmail dot com. I wanted
to I wanted to thank you for teaching me about

(45:30):
just desserts, meaning free desserts. Yeah, I wanted to order
my wife's stuff from Victoria's Secret for Valentine's Day, but
didn't want to pay for shipping when she has a
Victoria's Secret credit card. So I reached out to the
customer service, who had first offered free standard shipping. Right away,
I told him that's not good enough, that my wife
and I have bought a lot from them over the years,
and I want free express to day shipping. Well I

(45:54):
got my free express to day shipping. Now I know
in this case, I have not been wronged really, but
a nice to see the methods working. So this person
didn't even so Dylan didn't even have a problem that
they needed fixed. They just fucking walked into the restaurant
and and just said, give me free dessert with the
Victorious Secret. I want free to she he demanded it

(46:15):
because we've just been loyal customers all these years, and
they got it. That's like, okay, that's why the audience
is trying to do that to us this week, trying
to ask freed is for free dessert. Today is Friday.
We're recording this podcast. We always say within a calendar
week will issue a new podcast. We try, we try
and guess what Even though we didn't do it yesterday,

(46:35):
we did one today. Today is Friday. It's part of
the count. We do not owe you free dessert for
a podcast. We are still going to issue by the
time you're hearing this, and maybe later than that, but
you just know it came out Friday afternoon on val
what's the Halsey song Him and I? Right now? I
played this in an earlier episode, but just as a reminder,

(46:59):
I hate to be grammar police. In English, it's him
and me the way its song drives me crazy, not
him and I. It's him and me. To sing this
song properly in English, it's him and me and me

(47:23):
in English, it's him and me. Okay, so you go
I did correct the song? You did? I did? We did?
I had played that in an earlier episode. We did.
I think we played it. Okay, if you listen to order,
you heard it. Yeah you did? You did blanch? Yeah,
yeah you blanch. Speaking of listening that come from you
did blanch. It's a TV thing. Um. We got a
text message on the Big Show today, have a good vacation.

(47:45):
Morning Show started listening to Brooklyn Boys after Brody helped
me via d MS with my oil change snaffoo two
weeks ago. I'm on episode thirty four now and hope
to be caught up while y'all are away. We don't
have a name for that person, but thank you. Uh
and in about three weeks you might hear this. Well,
when you're hearing it, it's you're hearing it. But anyway,
that person will hear it in a couple of weeks.

(48:06):
But just because I helped him with a d N
the like, uh, I give the podcast a shot. I mean,
you know, and Andrew crope k r o u P
wrote to us Slice for Life has it going Scary
and brodie slife life here. I just have to share
a new way. My wife describes how I'm acting if
I start complaining or being a sarcastic jerk, she tells
me to stop being a brody. I find myself telling

(48:28):
when done wrong, don't ask what are you going to
do for me? But to tell them here's what you're
gonna Here's what you're gonna do for me. She then
explains to be more like Scary, he's nicer and doesn't
complain as much. You guys definitely rub off on me.
Love the podcast. I listen every single day. You wait
a minute, make my work days so much better. God

(48:51):
bless you. My man's We could nice, but I didn't.
We discussed that last week of the week before that
we rub onto you. Yeah, rub right, jerk out and
rub on. I want to ask Mason Link. Mason Smith
is his real name. He said, Hey, I'm sending you
a bottle of wine for your wife. It's not terribly expensive,
but it's a cabin It's two thousand twelve vintage. Hope

(49:12):
she likes it. I sent it out today, very cool.
That was almost two weeks ago. Alright, so I said,
you're insane. Thank you so much so, Mason, I really
appreciate it. I don't know where you sent it. I
said it to us, have not gotten it yet, that
that will be free shipped for us on a future episode. Again, well,
Katie McGinnis wrote to our Facebook page yet that those
are two in a row. That went to the Brooklyn

(49:33):
Boys on Facebook our page and emailed from there using
the link. Katie McGuinness says, as a Montanian m HM
as a month. As a Montanon, she wrote, m O
N T A N A N do they call themselves? That?
I don't know. I would think it's Montanian, but okay,
But as a Montana I will have you know that

(49:54):
Montana is not a frozen waste land. This is the
one I was telling you in response to my comment
that it was a frozen, hostile waste land. Montana is
great because we don't have major cities and oodles of people.
Montana's they don't have roodles of people. We also don't
use oodles in other states, but she does. Everyone. Everyone

(50:15):
can find oodles of noodles. I know. Yeah, that was
from our CHILDHOODY don't make that anymore. Uh. Everyone can
find space away from their neighbors. However, we are not
fans of major city folk buying our land. So if
you visit, which you should remember to go home? Your
problem A Montana girl, PS, I'm not angry. Good out

(50:37):
of anger. Hashtag brody and scary said what I said,
Montana was a frozen hostal wasteland. You said hostile. It
could be hostile. I mean she's hot, that's a hostile.
Scot's done it very nice. So you learned it's Montana's. Uh. Laura,
by the way, uh, if we call, I promise you
were not going to buy land and state. So it's
all it'll work out perfectly. Lauren Handley Schneider finally listened

(51:00):
to the Brooklyn Boys episode. I have to say it's
the best thing I've ever heard in my life. I
laughed so hard in my car must have looked like
a maniact other drivers. Thank you for all the greatest content.
Thank you for the greatest content of all time. Happy
bladed Birthday is very nice. Um, I'm gonna read that
next week. Oh, I got this recommendation. Scary. What would
you do with this? It's a compliment, but what do
I do with it? So? Uh, someone sent this to me.

(51:24):
One of our listeners, Gary Vanner Chuck van Vayner, Chuck,
that's Gary V. Gary V. Right, he gave you free sneakers.
He's also a motivational speaker. What look him up on
YouTube watches stuff. It's very inspiring. You want more sneakers
that what you're doing. And our friend Jake works for
him now. Jake the producer from our morning show, a
video guy. He wrote on his tweet at Gary V

(51:45):
E looking for people who are comedy writers. We're working
in or on shows as writers. Probably meant TV shows
but I'm working to show him coming writer or think
they have the skill and are doing something they hate
all ages and backgrounders, all kinds of epic new friends

(52:06):
go to this website. So he's offering you a gig. No, well,
Gary didn't get but a listener of ours, one of
our slices sent me this screenshot and said, you'd be
perfect for this. What you're saying is hey, quit your
job the Broken Boys. Gary said, I'm looking for funny
people to make extra money on the side. Love to
have you part of the team. That's I got time.

(52:27):
I got a couple of hours time. No, I don't
have a lot of time. You certainly don't have to
go home for Valentine's Day and wait for your heart
shape P two Right, I have to pick it up.
You don't have anything to do. You have to pick
it up or you have not even having delivered. I'm
going to pick it up. Oh my god, what did
you get it for a gift? By the way, free delivery? Okay, anyway,
so she until he says, if you hate what you're doing,

(52:49):
it's not gonna not gonna be me. And then also
Gavy Russ says is tweeting what's happening live at the
Oscars a spoiler alert, to which I replied, no, it's
a spoiler's spoiler alert is what you give when you're
about to give a spoiler. But you say, but everybody confused.
People shouldn't have their head in Twitter dworing the OSCAR
if you're not if you're not watching it. By the way,

(53:10):
the Oscars is a live event. You can give away
every fucking award as it happens. Don't be on Twitter,
then if you can, because it. But my point was,
it's not a spoiler alert, it's a spoiler spoiler. By
the way, DP wrote to us double penetration. I don't know.
I was thinking double play. You're a baseball tim You're
I'm thinking of a pornography. Upside down outlets. One more

(53:33):
comment on that the so the outlets in my parents
house are upside down, but the guy who built it
was a fireman. He bought the property after the prior
house burnt down, so he probably installed them upside down
because they were up to code and he knew that
he didn't want another fire breaking out there. And by
the way, thank you Benjamin Long, who also wrote in

(53:54):
on that topic. Uh and uh, yeah, all right, I
got a scamboni. I gotta drop on you. Let's do it,
and and it's it's a rant into a scamboni, and
we'll do that coming up right after. Hey, this is
Neil Patrick Harris, and you're listening to the Brooklyn Boys
with wait for it, Brody and Scary. I don't understand

(54:14):
something just before that. Yeah, both those every you know
I rotate bro Brody scary. You didn't you played two
in a row Brodie scary. You know what, I didn't
brieve with them. That's okay, I'm just calling you out
on that, right, I got two scary Brodies. Next. Hold on,
I'm a petty bastard, all you know what here, you
know what, we'll give a little love. You don't have to.

(54:35):
I'm kidding. I'm not feel bad now. No, let's move
on with it. Seriously, we we we want to get
a rant in here at some point. So well, this
is a little bit of both. This is a rant
into a scamboni and I got a new jingle for that,
so hold on. Okay, So the used car I bought
it wasn't starting every couple of times there was a
problem with you Okay, so out of automotive talk today. Yeah,

(54:57):
I know, I know. So I want to thank Kenny
Rowe Arc from Texas, big fan of our podcast, and
Shady Jew Mobster. Both of them stepped up on Twitter
and offered me help. Kenny is a Ford mechanic and
Shady Jew Mobster has friends who work for Ford, and
both of them are trying to figure out the problem. However,
the mechanic gets a lot of work. I'll tell you that. Yeah,

(55:19):
broken forward. So I go to nothing against auto Zone.
This is but I was at auto Zone, so I
was like, you know what, maybe it's the battery. Even
though it's starting, there's some symptoms. It might be a
bad battery. So I go to auto Zone, uh, Tuesday
on a late night, late night Tuesday in the evening,
and they test the battery and he puts the machine

(55:40):
on the batteries. Battery is completely dead, but not like
a dead battery. It needs to be put on a
machine we have in the back and fully charged and
you'll be fine. And it's free. They do that for free.
Oh that's fantastic. But we're swamp tonight. Come back tomorrow,
no problem. So I go on Wednesday, The next day
in the afternoon, and I go back to Auto Zone.

(56:03):
Nice people there, and I said, listen, I'm back. I
want to charge my battery. No problem, just bring in
the battery. I said, well, I'm I don't have tools
with me. They wanted you to dismantle the battery from
your car, right, So I said, well, I don't have
any tools for that, and they go, well, we can
give you the tools. Then. By the way, you're gonna
save on labor, right right. So I said, well, can't

(56:24):
you guys are you guys install batteries? Can you just
take the battery out? Yeah, we don't. We don't take
the batteries out, all right, that's your policy. I'm not upset.
Here's well, we'll give you the tools if you want.
I don't want to take a battery out, at least
I didn't. I go, I don't know what you take
the which cable comes off. It's bolted down, it's gotta
it's got a bar over it that's screwed down. You
need a long ratchet to get this. I'm like. So

(56:46):
this guy says to me, hey, I'll help you customer.
So I said, uh, oh, that's very nice, because yeah,
I got tools in my car. I'll help you out.
We'll take the battery. Good Samaritan, right there, Good Samaritans.
So we go to the car. He takes the the
get off the top of the battery, takes out his
long ratchet, takes the bolts out, takes like the ratchet.
And we said that before, but it was in terms

(57:06):
of a bad thing. It takes the battery out for me,
puts the parts up on the by the windshow wipers.
It takes the battery out. We bring it in, no problem.
And I said, well, you know, thank you very much.
I said, I'm glad you need to do that. He goes, well,
I'm a mobile mechanic. If you don't know what a
mobile mechanic is, it's someone who will come to your house,
who who makes a doctor, who used to make house.

(57:26):
He says, my name is Darnell. And I said, well,
you have a card case. I haven't needed a mechanic.
He said, well you can take a picture. I'll google.
I'll google myself and you can see my company. Right, okay,
thanks Darnell. Pleasure to meet you. So we go in.
They take the battery and it turns out the battery
is dead as a door nail. It will not charge.
So I said, they showed me on the machine dead battery.

(57:47):
And so you guys told me last night with that,
who are they putting up the dead battery graphic? Enter
dead battery graphic comes up right by the battery right.
So I said, well, he told me last night. I
just needed to be charged by the guy. Must have
read the thing wrong. Yeah, but I came back. Now
I get a battery, I go, will you will you

(58:07):
put the battery back in the car for me? Now,
we don't put batteries in the car. What if I
bought a battery, Oh, we'll put that battery in the car.
So I'm like, listen, guy, what if I gave you
a five bucks? Can you put because I gave by
the gave Darnald. I gave Darnell five bucks taking my
battery out. But he didn't work the guy, So I said,
did you agree him? So I said, well, would you

(58:29):
put in for ten? He goes, no, we're not allowed
to put him in. And I can't put all batteries back.
You should have just said what your price. I'm not
gonna I got a dead battery and buy a battery.
Now at this point, so what how much is the
battery and how much is hold on? Hold on how
much the battery? So hold on, hold on? Man. So
I called the guy I bought the car from, and
he says, terribly sorry. We didn't realize the battery was bad.

(58:51):
He says, if you drive back forty miles to where
I bought the car, we'll we'll give you a new
we'll put a new battery in. I said, well, I'm
an auto zone. I said, how much is the battery there?
I tell him it's one fifty nine. Well we can
get a battery of for seventy Come down and we'll
put the battery. So I said, you can get a
battery for seventy dollars. Well we got a deal. We
got a guy. So I said, well, I gotta drive
forty minutes I go, Plus I gotta put the battery

(59:12):
back in the car. Do not put the battery back
in the car. So I'm looking at the battery, and
on the side of the battery it says uh name
of a relatively famous roadside repair company, and it says
three year battery, full replacement, full warranty, three year battery,
and how long have you had this battery? Well, I

(59:32):
bought the car. This was Tuesday. So I looked at
the battery. The day on the battery says, uh July.
Oh well, no, it means it's two years old. It's
a three year battery. Okay. But someone had the car
before you. Okay, so you don't know what the fun

(59:52):
they did. Hold on, hold on, back pedal. When I
first brought the car, I noticed. I noticed that the
person owned the car before me, who gave it to
the dealership, didn't erase their address book. So I have
their home address. Their favorite person's phone numbers are in
there in the car, in the car, in the KNAP system.
Are you idiot? Right? Okay? You eat, you eat? It's deep.

(01:00:16):
So I'm like, okay, I know who I know who
owns the car, and I have their phone numbers. So
I call the roadside company and I said, listen, I
got the call. I don't say I just bought. I
don't have plates on the car. I have the temporary
white plate because don't have the car, so it's gonna
be obvious. I'm not the owner for right original owner.
So I called my said, listen, when you guys call

(01:00:37):
I got the serial number and the year the battery
was made. Do I need Do I need any paperwork?
Because I don't remember what I brought. The something's about
to go a right quickly. So she says, uh, no, no,
as long as you have the battery and it's the
date is within three years? What did you what did
you unearthed? So it's just you're fine. I don't need
any paperwork. No, you're good. Okay, that's happened to have

(01:00:59):
members hip. I have a membership with this roadside company coincidentally.
So they go, we'll get it, we'll get we'll get
a we'll get a guy out there. Uh within forty
five minutes. So I say jokingly, hey could be a woman,
you never know, and they go, oh yeah, I guess
so okay, So I'm in my cough. Forty five minutes later,
the roadside van pulls up. It's a third party with

(01:01:21):
the roadside company's logo, but they were towing place locally,
and a woman gets out. Oh my car. So she's like, oh,
let me see the dead battery and the whole thing,
and she's looking up the the how old it is?
And she says, uh, do you have the paperwork on this,
uh this battery, And I said no, no, I said,
I called the woman at the headquarters and I said,

(01:01:42):
you know, do I need any paperwork? And I even
had a whole conversation about She said, I'll send the guy.
And I was like, what if it's a woman and
you're a woman, How great am I? And she's laughing.
I'm trying to like butter and up, I go, how
great that you're a mechanic. And the whole thing she's
feeling good about, Like, I get that all the time.
People think I'm a guy and I show up and
I'm a woman. Whatever I can cook, I can clean,
and I can fix a car, and I could scam

(01:02:03):
you out of money. No, So she says, I just
give me your give me your account number on the battery.
And I said, well, um, you know I don't have that.
She's oh, well, let me just take your license plate
and she looks on the car and she says, did
you just buy this car? I said, well, yeah, oh
well then you're not the original of the battery. I said,
well I told him on the phone. They said, no problem.

(01:02:24):
She's well, we have to get reimbursed by this roadside company,
because we buy from them and we have to prove
that the batteries in the warranty. Said, well, the batteries
two years old. You can see it's under warranty. Well
who'd you buy the car from? So I can't say
I border from a dealer. So I said, uh, my
brother in law. Oh, what's your brother's name? Well, actually know,

(01:02:45):
I said so, so so they so I give him
a name, and she was ill, let me call that in.
I'm like, oh fuck, oh my god, this is federal case.
I said, I don't understand. They said, no problem, Well
you gotta check. So they called under my brother in
law's name, and there's no. Of course, he didn't buy
the battery. So she's well, who else could it be?
I said, well, my brother in law's mother is the

(01:03:07):
owner of the She drove the car, but she didn't
drive anymore. And so did you give me your mom's number? No, no,
she didn't the battery either. He's like, so she's looking
at a computer system for me. She's calling in her cup, right,
she's looking in the computer right, So okay, she can't
they just match the battery if they call the number.
I said, no, no, they can't because they couldn't find

(01:03:29):
the record for it. So she's so, she's so, she says,
what's your your brother in law's mother's name. I don't know, man,
it's my brother in law's mother. Who knows that I
don't know her name? Well, we need her name. So
I said, well, look, I bought the car. It's he
he bought the battery, or she bought the bat One
of them bought the battery, So I said, it's under warranty. Well,
we don't know the data purchase. I go, well, the

(01:03:50):
battery is two years old. Whatever the data purchase was,
it's not lower than three years. That's not an issue.
So she says, well, let me go back on the phone,
my super as I'm trying here, I'm doing whatever I can,
like some butter in this woman up for twenty minutes whatever.
At this point, she's already put the battery in my
car to see if it worked. So the new batteries

(01:04:10):
in my car, I said, what happens if you can't
find the price of the car just well, then then
you're gonna always like a hundred and sixty dollars for
the battery. I don't want the battery for hundred sixty
dollars because if I drive forty minutes, the dealership will
give me the battery for free. I don't tell her that,
but I'm thinking that. So it occurs to me that
in my car, I've got the names and addresses of
all the people that owned this car and friends of

(01:04:31):
the people in the car. So I call slot number
one in the navigation system, which is someone named Baby.
So I called Baby up, figuring Baby must be closely
related or friendly, uh, to the cars. I mean, it's
number one in the right. So I called Baby up,
and I say, Baby, you don't know me. That's not
a scam. But I'm in the car. I described the
car that someone you know used to own, who lives

(01:04:52):
in this town in New Jersey. Oh, yeah, that was
my girlfriend's car. Great, listen, I owned the car. Now
I'm I and I explained the situation. Can you tell
me what her name is that she bought the battery? Well,
it's either Horror or her mother. Great, can I have those?
I said to you, Baby, Yeah, she called me baby.
It was like b A B B E E, like baby,

(01:05:13):
who puts that in there? And that system weird? So
she's well, my my girlfriend's name is blah blah blah.
Her mother's name is blah blah blah. But I really
can't give you any information because I don't know who
you are. Do you listen to the radio, now you
pull the scary Jones on Well. I wanted him to
feel comfortable that if it, if it was a scammer,
that you know who you were. So I said, look,
I got, I got, I got. Let's mark this date

(01:05:36):
down to know. I was just trying to relieve his
fears in case. Okay, and I do that every time
I need to get into a hot restaurant. Okay, continued. Okay,
So he gives me the last name of just his
girlfriend's mother. So I go out to the woman and

(01:05:57):
I say, try blah blah blah. I just to my
brother in law, and this is his mother's name. Try that,
because yeah, that was it. Okay, Wait a second, a
scam No I scanned them. Oh I got you. You're

(01:06:20):
done at all on scambonies have done on us. You're
trying to say, you pull the Scamboni on them indirectly. No,
you grape soda them them. In retrospect, I guess I did.
But the bottom line was there was a warrity. There
was a wartity on the battery. I understand that they
are obligated to change to fix the batches, even which

(01:06:40):
you didn't really scam them, You just got what was
coming to you. Well, hold on, now, keep in mind
I asked them when I called, am I qualified to
get the battery? Said, as long as it's not three
years old, you're qualified. It says July eighteen on it, right,
so you know. She didn't say to me, are you
the original owner? She said, oh, yeah, as long as
it's three years Who cares if you were the origin
owner or not. Because it's three year warrants and it's

(01:07:02):
only two year old, they said, automatically owe you a
new battery. I later found out from the woman who
put the battery in that their non transferable warranties. But
I didn't know that. I said to the woman, I
don't know. You were trying to associate yourself with babies
girlfriend's mom, and I had to at that point. It's
the problem. I didn't want to. I said, please, am

(01:07:23):
I qualified for the battery? I called him? I asked,
and I said, because I don't want the battery paid
for the family there. Now, that's what you're trying to assume.
She come up and she so, let's see if it's
your car or the battery. So she put the new
battery in my car. Right, So, what did you get
for free? A free battery place? I got No, wait
a minute, I got the free battery. And she handed

(01:07:44):
me paperwork for a three year warranty on the new battery.
So the new battery and three years, and now I've
got the paperwork for the battery. It didn't buy for
three years because baby hooked me up and gave me
the name. But again, it wasn't my intention to get
understood to do that. But as it turns out, it
was a yeah, I know you're scamming them, but it

(01:08:07):
wasn't my intention to do that. But listen, once I
was in, I had to keep digging, you understand, I
unders I had no choice. I already dunk myself once,
I said, I bought it from my brother in law
to hold on. So she puts the battery in and
she says, where's the bracket that holds the battery in?
I said, I don't know. Well as a bracket, I said, well,

(01:08:30):
did you said when you took the battery on. Did
you use a ratchet to get to the screw at
the bottom. Yeah, no, Damien did. So I go, holy crap.
I don't know why Damien put the thing that holds
the battery down. So I called Damien and they said,
hey Damien, because I got his number. Hey mobile mechanic
that you want to be my my mechanic going forward.
Hey Damien, Hey, I'm a quick question for you. Where's

(01:08:52):
the bracket from the battery. Maybe it's in your pocket? Maybe?
So he says, I put it up by the windshow
log but laper. I go, well, it's not there, and
it didn't fall in the engine. It's nowhere anywhere around.
It looked under the car, did all that? He says.
I. I I don't know, man, I don't know where it is.
I put it up there. I said, all right, no problem.
So I go back and she's like, you need that bracket.
You know. I looked in the engine. It's not there.

(01:09:13):
So I text him. I go as I call him back.
First he doesn't answer the phone. I let it ring
and ring and ring, goes to voicemail and calls. Probably
discovered that he had it. Well, I don't know. Well,
if he's a mobile mechanic, you should deliver that to
So I call him back. He doesn't answer the phone,
so I text him. I go, hey, Damien, listen, can
you check your pockets? Can you see if it's you know,

(01:09:34):
maybe you put it in your because he had a
big coat with big pockets from a big winter coat.
Maybe you like subconsciously just put it in your pocket.
But I don't have it. Can you just check? Didn't
return my text sry rot back. I go, guess what, Damien,
you will not be my mobile mechanic because you lost
my bracket, even though you're doing me a favor, and
now you won't answer the phone, So fuck you, Damien.

(01:09:58):
So now you're out of a bracket. You gotta pay
for that. Yeah, I'm not gonna pay for maybe ten bucks.
The point is I got a free battery, but it's
marred by the fact that you have to you have
to negate ten dollars from that for the free bracket
because he lost the bracket. Oh my god, now my luck,
it'll it'll bounce up on I'll hit a pothole, It'll
bounce up and hit my my hood and dent it no,

(01:10:25):
we're not good because I I'll save this for next weekend.
How long are we going here? How long are we
doing this? I mean, I don't know. You tell me
all right, because you know what I got. I gotta
I want to, but you look at you. You're like
a steam coming from your ears. I do. I wanted
to talk about the guy. I'm not I'm not giving
his name out, but the way he went about ship

(01:10:46):
was sucking older. I just just just summarized the beginning
withoutetting specific because I feel like I don't want to
shoot on the guy. But I understand why you're upseting. No, no, no, no,
what are you looking for? Brodie? Brodie's running the board
because we're in the crappy studio. If you're han't heard
by now, if you can't tell, it's it's it's execution.

(01:11:07):
David Brodie at the boards, running ship. Okay, we're good,
we're good. What don't you add something? Tell? Tell the
story about the guy? No, you know what a guy
asked you for? I'm really paraphrase. No, no, no, I'm okay,
I'm gonna read his fucking text. I'm not I will
power phrase. I'm not. I'm not an idiot paraphrase summarize.

(01:11:31):
So somebody, somebody asked me for help on Instagram. Hey, scary,
could you give me examples of what you eat daily
during during the week on your fat lost program. We'll
call it that I gained about fifty pounds since my
mom died years ago. Okay, hold on, I lost my job.
Hold on, hold on, Wait, he's trying to make me

(01:11:52):
feel bad for him. I lost my home. Life is
not good. Please help with examples. I'm just these are paraphrase.
Is there was? We went into much more detailed. Okay,
he's having a rough health is going downhill. I just
want someone to truly help me. But how is reading
verbatim paraphrasing? I left out a lot. That's not what
paraphrasing means. Hold On, I love the show so much,

(01:12:14):
super big fan, Thank you very much done. Worst job
in paraphrasing. That was Tuesday afternoon at four o'clock. That's right,
on Thursday afternoon. Two days later at noon, how many
followers do you have on Instagram? Fair enough? I'm sorry,
slightly more than me, just slightly less than Two days later,

(01:12:36):
he writes, I guess if I was a hot chick
you'd give me advice. They are right on the show.
You're a douche and he spelled deuced d you. I'm like, wow,
you're a fucking asshole. You're an ash first of all,
give me a chance. Yeah, the passage give me. And

(01:12:56):
by the way, this was hidden on my d MS
in Instagram. Am it was so you know, and it
was I'm not friends with the guy. So it goes
to a separate folder which you have to actually actively
click on that says do you want to see messages
from these people? We all know what that is. It's
the hidden folder and I happen to discover it last night,

(01:13:16):
four hours after he called me a douche. So I
would have answered him, but instead this, Yeah, passive aggressive.
I mean, well, you're a fan of the show. You
just finished buttering me up. You're telling me how much
you love us, how much you know, and I'm sure
you know he follows me on Instagram, so obviously he's

(01:13:37):
a big super fan. Right. Sure he didn't mention the podcast,
but but I didn't expect him to. I don't think
he goes that far. But yeah, I mean, what a
fucking moron. I mean, at least give me a chance
to respond to people. I get a lot. I get
dozens of of these a day, and I was going
to take some time out. But is that what you do?

(01:13:59):
I mean, that's like the guy that that's the that's
the guy who like whistles at a girl in the
street or says, oh, yeah, hey, what's up, hattie, and
she either like flips him off or keeps walking, and
then two seconds later he goes, you're a bit like
people like, that's the mentality. That's what this guy did
to me someone, Because you don't get your way right

(01:14:21):
away all of a sudden, I have to be a
call like it's like you asked a guy for an autograph,
you're a big fan of a baseball player and doesn't
give an autograph. You like, Yeah, that's fucking terrible. It's
not right. It's it's more than not right. Now. Look
it works. Clearly the gentleman has some things going on
in his life. They are making him a little more agitated.
Maybe the normal think, but that's not the way to respond. Never,

(01:14:42):
we try our best to get back to everybody. We do,
and when we don't, it's because we didn't see it
or I would like some of would like some of
your hundred nine thousand to come over to forty and
spruce that up a little bit. Absolutely, they should know.
I just I was just a little put off, and
and and maybe I will. I don't. I don't know

(01:15:02):
how I'm gonna answer him. I'm going to I think
you just did all right, I gotta tell you what happened,
but it happened to me Calls, and then we'll get
out of here, because as because you're upset about that, right, Yeah,
I'm not happy. But ever been? Ever been? The calls?
Of course? So I bought. Yeah, a couple of weeks ago,
I was at Calls and I bought a couple of

(01:15:23):
button down shirts, some wrinkle free button down shirts, very specific,
had a little stretching them, but they didn't have my
size and two of the styles I wanted. I got
a couple I liked and a couple they didn't have.
So they have a thing. They have a computer screen,
a kiosk. You can order what you want right on
the screen and then it chips the house for free,
for free. So I took the shirt that I wanted,

(01:15:46):
and I would a way to scan it, because if
you scan it, you can then change the size. Otherwise
you have to go in and start searching. So I
scanned the item and says, item I found. So there's
another shirt I wanted. I scanned the items, I am
not found. So as a guy walking by, he looks
like he knows what he's doing, I said, can you
come over here? I'm having a problem. Is there a
way to search for this type of shirt by putting

(01:16:08):
in the company name and the style, because because there
are hundreds, if I just searched for I think the
shirt was made by let's say crofton Barrow whatever. If
you just put in crofton Barrow, they have twenty styles
of shirts, colors, styles, hundreds And I go, I just
want this shirt and this style. So he says uh
yeah um, And before he could say anything, a woman

(01:16:30):
named Mania Mania comes over out of nowhere. I didn't
even see her all of a sudden, Mania is there
like the road runner me me flying over? She says
she had an accent like that. But okay, she says,
I can easily search on the computer to find the
item rather than scanning the barcode. So you put in
a search for the shirt? I said, excuse me, ma'ma

(01:16:52):
I'm well aware, but I was trying to make sure
I got the exact same shirt, and I was trying
to scan it. She ignores me and starts searching and
showing me how the buttons work. You search the magnifying
glass and then you go, I know how it works.
How to search is my problem, ma'am. She just she
actually pigeonholed you as a Most people don't know how

(01:17:18):
to work it. That's her basic function is to teach
basic people to do that. But you're not basic. So
she completely ignores me, and now she's searching for a shirt.
I said, again, searching wasn't my problem. She's all you
have to do. I say, no, what I have to do?
I just want to be able to scan the barcode
and it keeps coming up item not found. So she says, well,

(01:17:41):
you want that style of shirt, here's what you do.
She puts in the search, six hundred shirts, come up,
six hundred shirts. Again, I said, I wasn't trying to
find how to search for shirts. I want to scan
the barcode. Is your barcode broken? It's coming up with
an error? Just you don't need the barcode. You can
just search and I said, I'm not gonna tell you again.

(01:18:02):
Step away from the kiosk, and the guys like, come on, manya,
let's just he's fine. She says, no, no, no, no no,
I'm gonna show you how to find the shirt. And
I said, I didn't ask for your help. I just
asked if this I asked this guy. I asked this
guy if the scanner was broken. I don't need you

(01:18:23):
coming over and do when your search? Did I say, hey, manya,
come over and help me. No? I did not. I said,
excuse me, sir, because I saw him first. Is your
bark code scanner broken? I didn't ask for your help,
no offense, your scanner is not working. Look, and I
showed her. I scanned it, just found not foul. I said,

(01:18:48):
I don't need you help anymore. I'm good. And she says, oh,
but let me just shout no no, no, no no no,
And I actually said the stop. I said, bat mania,
bat mania, because I don't understand it. She's not this
in English? Should I say to the guy, I said,
excuse me, John, can you because I was his name, tech,
can you please tell your co work out and help?
He goes to mind you come on let's go. No,

(01:19:10):
I just want to show him how to search. I
don't want your help, man, you please please let me
complete my sale, my transaction. She had a look on
her face that said, I can't believe you'll let me
help you and try to make me look bad and
put a sad face on and walked away. Am I wrong? No?

(01:19:33):
I don't want your help. Did you try and go
to another machine that maybe the bar code scanner was
not broken yet? Oh, now you're taking mind your side.
Well that's what I would have done if I worked there,
I would be like, you know what, we have five
machines in this funk. They don't they have one by
customer service in this particular location. I would have walked
away from customer service and when somewhere else in the
store there is no other key. This is the duck

(01:19:55):
usk Some some call stores have like six by the
registers location, just the one so I scanned, I scanned
something else. It worked fine. So the two shirts I
wanted just happening. Maybe they were discontinued. They could have
told me that once you buy them online, I'm sent
to your house. What a great idea I should use

(01:20:15):
the chaosk to buy them online. No, did you go
on you go on your phone. Hey, Manya, go on
your phone. Go on my phone. Then I gotta search
through six hundred shirts on your phone. You could limit it.
Do you know what the shirt looks like that you want? Yes,
I searched by short, by stretch, relaxed. I searched. I searched,
but yes, I searched by brand name, by color. There
were four different styles of relaxed, and each one had

(01:20:38):
like another forty shirts. There's gotta be a way to
narrow a search if you go on your phone and
get it online. It's the same as the chaos that
barcode wasn't available anyway. It turns out those shirts must
have been old returned shirts. They were no longer in
the system. But Manya wants me to search. Oh, she
actually said, you hit the magnifying button. But that's how
you search. Mother, I don't need that ship sometimes to

(01:21:06):
the services and service if you don't want it. I
can't like this because I'm bro Dah Boys, Brocklin Brookline,
bah Boys, brock Brocklass

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Skeery Jones

David Brody

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