#159: A Lotto Bullsh*t

#159: Girl Scouts who use their lazy parents to sell their cookies; Brody was left out of the office Powerball pool; Snowflakes invade Skeery's instagram about a dog cake being carved up on video; Scambonis on celebrity personal greeting sites and at drive through pharmacies; Brody was screwed at the rent a car place- again; Skeery's apartment reeks of garlic and onions

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start Up. Start Up Brooklyn by start Up Brooklyn Boys,
start Up. They're making noise Data Up. Episode one nine,
the Brooklyn Boys Podcast. We are so close to one sixty,

(00:22):
and you know what that means. What does that mean, Bertie?
It means we're one sixty. That's about I thought you
were gonna have a celebration for us. I did. I did.
There was something that was waiting in the way that
I thought maybe we were gonna do a podcast in
person for one sixty. Yeah. Yeah, but you know, a pandemic. Pandemic.
Well I can't. I gotta say, man, you don't want

(00:42):
to come to my house anyway to do this podcast
because it reeks like garlic in here. I thought it
was onions. Yeah that was last night. Okay, So here's
the problem. You live. We've established this in a one bedroom,
one living room, one kitchen apartment, right, and so any
and you cook is gonna be everywhere in your house. Truth,

(01:03):
there's no escaping it unless you put all your belongings
into the bedroom and closed the door. Okay, so you
didn't learn a lesson. You came to work today. I
wasn't there, but everybody was saying that was there. That
you wreaked of onions because your clothing, your jacket, absorbed
the cooking onions smell, right, So why would you go

(01:24):
with garlic tonight is tomorrow and night curry because it's
healthy for you. These are some strong pungent spices we're
talking about. I mean, but you should put your coat
in the closet, then I should, but I don't. It's
draped over the chair which is facing the island from
between my living room and my kitchen, which is about
all about three feet so it's from the stove. So

(01:46):
you're pretty much screwed. Pretty much screwed. But it's okay.
Maybe you should grill on the on your little terrace,
like set up a little like a barbecue grill. Get
out of here, crist out there to close the window,
club door and be outside, and then the air from
the cooking goes out into the your neighborhood. This is

(02:09):
why we used to do it in Brooklyn, I mean
not my house, because we we had a barbecue. We
had a little bit of a back patty. It would
have a barbecue on the fire escape. If you don't
you known, you know the fire escape is it's it's
the name tells you, but it's actually the fire escape ladder.
So apartment buildings, not giant skyscrapers, but you know, five
six floor apartment buildings. You would have every apartment would

(02:30):
have access on each side of the building, a couple
on each side. Maybe if it was wide enough, you'd
open one of your windows and they would be a
platform with a ladder going up and down like a staircase,
not a ladder, but a staircase, so you can get
out of the house in case of a fire, right
a fire escape. Here's the here's the the kitch though
the downside is the bottom of it is a as
a straight ladder that you have to release from for

(02:54):
the second floor and then climb down because if you
left it down to the ground, people would climb up
and rob you. There has to be has to be
up in the air, so it was very difficult to
get that ladder off. Sometimes. I don't think I've ever
been on a fire escape ladder. I don't I know
the one you're talking about. It's the one that hangs,
but I didn't know how to even release it. So right,

(03:14):
you didn't grow up in an apartment building. If I
was in a fire I'd beat charcoal because I wouldn't
know how to like garlic. Yeah, pretty much. I found
the body's garlic. It's scary, pretty dental records of the
charred Nope, bit scary, but it's it's highly illegal to
barbecue on a terrace anyway, on your fire escape. You
don't want to do that. It depends when you do

(03:35):
want to do it. But if you get my my
in laws, I used to live on the Upper east
Side of Manhattan. They had a apartment in the sky.
In the sky. I yeah, they had a corner apartment,
and so the terrorists went out the side door and
then wrapped around a little bit so you could have
a grill out there because it was big enough. Well,

(04:00):
you know, Upper east Side privileges. We didn't. We didn't
have that where we were. You know. In my father
in law's defense, they had a house in Long Island
that they bought when when the when houses didn't cost
a lot in the eighties, and then you know, twenty
years later or five years later maybe they bought in
the seventies, they sold the house and bought an apartment.

(04:21):
He doesn't live there anymore. That apartment. Now you probably
couldn't couldn't touch it. Well, it was the same price
of the house. I gotta say, though, grilling, grilling outside,
oh there's nothing like it. I mean, there's so many
things that I would love to cook, but I have to.
I'm forced to do this in here in my apartment,
and so I put stuff on the stove and I
try and flavor things up. Which is why, by the way,

(04:45):
onions in garlic, because you just want stuff to like
be you just wanted to. I don't know, it's a
different preparation of it. It's a good terrible I mean,
And don't tell you that the George forming grill. I
know we've been there, done that, had it. I wasn't
gonna tell you about that, not you know, I'm talking
about the slices. Yeah, well, yeah, they're not. You know,
I have an idea for tomorrow's meal. So you don't

(05:07):
stink up the whole house. Why don't you prep some
chicken breasts, roll them in your coat sleeves and you'll
get the garlic smell, will be ready to go. You
don't have to add me more garlic. It's perfect. You
just rub them up on the sleeves. Some people have
sensitive noses. I came to work today with that jacket
on from the onions from last night Scotty b from
our big show spot like right away, it was like

(05:30):
follow his nose. It always knows like, oh my god,
scary reeks. So whatever, I don't know, I just did.
There's no solution for me. I don't live in a
big house. Sorry, that's it. And you can washer and
dryers in the basement. No, it's it's in the closet
right here, next to next your apartment. Okay, you could have.
You could have, you know, rinsed off the jacket Washington,

(05:54):
who cleans jackets on their own. If I'd smelled like
onions and garlic, I would to send it. Let them
handle it and handle it. They're gonna charge you extra
for stink. You know that, dude, All the money I
spent on this equipment and squandered all that, you know, Okay,
I could, I could could. Before we get to the equipment,

(06:15):
I bought one two. I want to say three, Hold
on one two. I thought it was three new things.
I'll say two new things from my my basement set
up here, and one of them I was able to
expense for work, so I really only paid so last

(06:36):
week I talked about the shitty headphone cable I had
so h just at that moment we lose Brody. How
classic is that. It sounds like you're in a worse
position than you were in last week because you just
disconnected the whole thing. Holy sh it. This guy, I
swear to God, was that Are you doing a bit?

(07:00):
I wonder if he's doing a bit because he's not
connected at all. He's totally gone. Actually the line is connected,
but he unplugged his mic. Somehow something fell on his head.
Oh my god, I see him trying to log back in.
He did something really fucked up. Anyway, Um, in the meantime,
you could email us at the Brooklyn Boys Podcast at
gmail dot com. We're gonna read to the email a

(07:22):
little while, and we have some things to get to.
I wanted to talk about, Oh look at you. Let
me let me tell you. I was vamping. You know,
we called it damping. I heard you. I uh, but
just irony. That was irony. No, I would see what
was in the middle of a sense. What I just
did now was irony and coincidence. And I just pulled

(07:42):
off the double I'll tell you why. I was in
the process of telling you about the new cable I
got from my microphone, and my had my uh my headphones,
and I was telling you about my new set up here,
and so coincidentally, at the same time as I was
telling you my I knocked my phone off the little
table here and it landed on the bottom of the cable,

(08:05):
not the headphone cable, but the cable that connects to
the headphone to the microphone. And once you unplug the microphone,
it kills the connection. Even if you plug it back in,
you have to reset the connection. So that the irony
was it happened while I was talking specifically about my
new system. I said, this is classic, this is great.

(08:29):
That first I was doing you were doing a bit.
It was so perfectly placed. No, I when I did it,
I went, oh, I get that's fun. Oh shit, I
really did it, so uh no, yes, So that's what happened.
So I got a docking station from my laptop so
that the laptop now clicks into this, and then I
plugged the cables into that, so I have instant everything

(08:50):
set up with that and go with that. Right. So
I got that and that was expensed because it's a
it's a a work expense. And because I'm used in
the company laptop and then the headphone cable last week
was terrible. I returned that one to Amazon. I found
the Monster cable that I needed for the Monster heaphone,

(09:11):
and I got that from Amazon as well. Amazon great company,
as far as like when you need something, great shipping
all of that stuff. Right, it's the word I've talked about.
This the absolute worst search engine in the world. You
can put in Monster headphone cable and it will show
you Monster's energy drink, right, Monster Energy Drink. It will
show you monster stuffed animals, It'll show you cables, it'll

(09:34):
show your headphones. But you can put in in parentheses
or quotes, it doesn't matter. It will not search for
what you want, just what you want. If you put
in blue USB three cable, it doesn't. It gives you
whatever it wants because it was like, he'll probably buy
something else, even if we're given the wrong ship. It's
the worst search engine imaginable. But once you like dig

(09:57):
and dig and dig and find the right combination of
words and arch for it does nothing. If you search right.
Let's say you search for something and it gives you
a hundred seventy five results. Okay, then you said, I
want to search only four stars. Four stars are better reviews,
and then it gives you a hundred one hundred one results.

(10:20):
So then you say, okay, you know what, I want
to price them low to high. Now I already have
my hundred one results. I want to price those hundred
one results load of high. When you sort by load
of high, all of a sudden you have forty results?
What's that? Like? Where's the rest of them? Right? Where's
the rest of them? It you feel like you're you're

(10:41):
you're being cheated or you you can't do you can't
do multiple settings, multiple filters. And I think that when
they when you get the rating and the price and
you put them both in, they don't want you to
buy certain things, like they don't want you to buy
the cheap good ones show. Yeah, it's just Camboni, is
what it is. They want you to buy the expensive

(11:02):
ones with the high rating. So that's what I think.
That's what you think. Yeah, So I was telling you, Uh,
I think I was going from my phone because I
did we mentioned Scamboni. Did I say Scamboni? Right? And
just now you did. I did, yeah, but I had
a I have a scamboni for today's show. So there
you go. We'll get to that in a second. I
guess um, you know, I I'm really reeling from my

(11:28):
an Instagram post I made a couple of days ago.
I'm gonna I'm about to pull out another jingle we
haven't heard in a long time. It's this one. It's
snow and it is January. Brodie. Oh yeah, have a
snow flight. Oh yes, I do. Lettics no lettics, no lettics. No.

(11:51):
We have a snowflake or two who arrived on my
Instagram the other day. I posted a video. Now we're
all familiar with those cakes, those designer cakes that people
make that look like that looks so lifelike, you know,
they look exactly like the thing, and a lot of
times you get psyched out and then all of a sudden,

(12:11):
the person cuts it and it's a piece of cake.
So there was If you look at my Instagram, Brodie,
and you tell me what kind of dog that is,
there's a video of a dog, a white dog, and
it's I guess uh, it's the one that gets all wrinkly,
the wrinkled dog, the sharp past sharpey. It was a
sharp brown though, well whatever it is, it was a
white dog. And take a look. The only white sharp

(12:32):
pay was in high school musical Okay, anyway, you don't
get that, but anyway, yeah, so so if you look,
if you look at the video and it's a it's
a bulldog. It's a bulldog. I don't know my breeds
of dogs. Come on, don't funk with me, come on, stop. Anyway,
the dog was there, it was it was like it
was a but it was a cake. Right, So, so

(12:52):
all of a sudden, the first opening shot, as you
see a person or you say, you see a knife
slicing down the middle of its face ace and then
you see being cut across and then it pulls out
the cake. Really, it pulls it out really quickly. You realize,
oh my god, it's not a real dog. It's a cake.
Ha ha. I've been fooled again, like I have a
million times on these freaking videos. Right, But then it

(13:13):
cuts to a real live dog that is witnessing this
entire fright. And then dog's eyes is balding out of
its head like wing like literally cartoonish like me. Next
it was so fucking funny. But yet Brodie reiterate, I
had fucking snowflakes on my fucking feet. Oh, how could

(13:35):
you do that. That's terrible, it's awful. It looks so real.
I can't believe it. There's something that's not a right
about this. And some of these people I actually deleted
other others I went back and I'm like, are you serious?
It's only cake? And then I can't take it's just
there's it's so right. And they weren't saying, oh, that's
wrong and laughing. They were saying it's wrong, take it down, um,

(14:00):
because they were fooled into thinking was it's so lifelike.
That's not a that's not a reason. That's not a reason.
I mean, it's it's it's fucking cake. At the end
of day, it's a cake. Okay, they're not taking a
knife to a real dog. It is a very real
looking dog. It's a very real looking dog. But your
mind is playing a trick on you. And once you realize, oh,
it's cake. And then the funny part at the end

(14:21):
where the real dog is like watching like with their
eyes bulging out of their head, it's hysterical. I it's
it's frightening, it's jolting and then hilarious at the same time.
But don't come at me with because say, oh my god,
that's so wrong that you posted that. You know that's
harming dogs. It's not. It's not real people. How do

(14:41):
people immerse themselves? There was an article and then I
think it was the New York Post yesterday neighbors complained
that that a man was barbecuing. Now there's really no
good answer to this. They're trying to figure out if
he was barbecuing a dog or a coyote. Neither is legal, apparently, No,
that's what That's what they were they were looking into.

(15:05):
But that's real. This is this is a sharp pay
that happens to look lifelike. But it's a cake or
a sharp whatever the hell it is. A bulldog. I
don't even know what it's a bull French bulldog. Maybe
you know what I'm saying. But why do people so
fucking but heard about this ship. I don't know. I
I can't figure people. I can't. Everyone's offended by everything

(15:28):
you know that you know, and they take it too seriously.
I'm not gonna get into what I posted. I posted
something that was an obvious joke yesterday maybe the day before,
and somebody got me back and they're like, that's not funny.
How could you joke about that? Or and then one
person said that's not accurate, and I said, it's a joke.

(15:49):
It's it's clearly, it doesn't have to be accurate. It's
a joke. It's a freaking it is. They thought it
was serious, they thought it was real, so like, that's
not you know, and it wasn't a follower of mine.
I it was a trending topic, I think, and so
that you know, the trolls they hit the trending topics
and they want to comment and everything. So I did
want to talk about a scamboni, but I have to

(16:12):
try remember what the scamboni was, alright, because um, Kathy
Volan broke b R O E K catbird six to five.
I said something about a scamboni and she said, what's
a scamboni? So I said, obviously it was a Brooklyn boy.
She said, I knew that was coming. Not every day
when unable to at work, I catch a few, you know,
each day. So she's way behind. Um, so I said,

(16:35):
well you need to catch up. I said, easy, to
tell you what a scamboni is. You'll you'll hear it
when we get up to it. But the first full
letters are scam and then the bony part is the
Brooklyn eyed version of scam. It's like it's a scam
Marino skim run. No, you know, it's like scam. It
sounds like pasta. It sounds like you and get a

(16:59):
scam boning. It sounds like right, like a strombol or
strombo or Kyle's yeah, right exactly. That's why that's why
we did it. Did she get it after you explained it? Yeah? Yeah,
she was fine. Um uh, you know, I wish I
had the sound to this, but uh god, you got
the sound I wanted, right that sound you wanted, Yes,

(17:21):
I have, But scamboni jingle ready after this because I
know what Garrett Garrett uh from our Big show. He
was talking about Punksitani Phil the groundhog, the famous groundhog
that lives in a library. How do you sleep? How
do you sleep? After this? I would be his hand,
the handler to punc Sitani Phil the groundhog is making

(17:44):
money off of the groundhogs bones on cameo. You know,
cameo is the personalized greetings greetings. Yeah, so you can
pay most celebrities a certain amount of money, right, people celebrity,
like if they're all I don't know if ed Shearing's
on it or not, but I'm saying ed Sheering right.
If Ed Shearon was on it, you pay Ed Sheeron,

(18:05):
let's say a thousand dollars and he'd say, hello, Maria,
your friend John wanted me to wish you a happy birthday.
It's Ed Sheering. You're paying them for greetings, right, thank you,
so thank you, beautiful Ed Sheering. So it's probably more
like the Beatles. I think it's more like a Beatle's English.
I was a little bit hell hello, hello mate, Hello,

(18:25):
hello mate, as opposed to like Harry Potter. You know,
I'm bad with accents like what were you doing? I
don't know. It sounds like you're doing like an Irish
top of them autem and yeah, I'm bad with that ship.
That's why I don't go there. You don't hear you,
You'll never hear me. Really try accents like that on
this phone taps you do on phone taps? Yeah, but

(18:46):
they were because your Italian sounds Mexican and your Indians
sounds Italian dobe, they're not real there. I just I
don't know. I'm bad, right. So my point on this
is is is puncitani Phil, it's his freaking it's his life.
This handler just picked up this freaking thing and says, ha,
I'm the handler and he's making all this money. He's

(19:07):
making bank by doing video greetings, saying oh, so he's
there with him. The groundhog is right, that was my
next question. But I'm gonna find myself a chipmunk, not
a chipmunk, a groundhog hog. Yeah, and I'll do it.
I'll say, yeah, I'm a booksta fills backup trainer. I
just don't think right to do that to make this money.

(19:30):
I mean, who is he? You know? You know what.
Here's what I'm gonna say, and then this will solve
your First of all, you're upset because he makes more
than you for a cameo. Well he's charging eight, right,
which is more than you charge. At the moment, you're
gonna you're gonna raise your rates. By the way, I'm offline,
by the way, I decided to uh yeah, because I'm
getting emails they want me to sign up for the
big Valentine's Day push coming up. Yeah, I've been getting

(19:51):
those emails to hit the ignore button. I'm gonna get
I'm gonna give you a word of advice. Guys, ladies.
You also, if either one of you, let's say, wants
to pay me for a Valentine's Day greeting for your
loved one, you might not need a gift next Valentine's Day.
That's not a gift that's gonna keep your relationship going.

(20:11):
Oh you sent me a brody Valentine's say, Hey, Roses
Red Violence of Blue, I'm Brody from the Brooklyn Boys
and this has all he got you Valentine's Day, Right,
That's that's not yours. And I'm not I'm not look,
i'm not. I'm not helping myself make money here. I'm
just being honest. I'm just being honest. Well, I'm just
being honest that I think I think these are Scamboni's

(20:32):
a lot of them. Like but if you're someone if
but if you're someone who's hiring of all the celebrities,
and there's thousands of a list celebrities, a lot of
people people like me and scary, Uh, that's corect Grammer
who are like f G level celebrities Uh, you can
get anybody. You're gonna have the trainer for Pus and
Tony Phil. That's like, oh, the guy who drew a

(20:56):
cartoon you like, right, Like, oh, he was an animator
on finding Nemo. I want to go. No, you don't,
don't pay him? Yeah, And if he's holding a drawing
of Nemo, are you gonna pay for it? That's the
same as Puck to Phil. That's he's holding a groundhog allegedly, listen,
Puks Tony Phil. Those things don't last very long. They
die every couple of right, so why would anyone It's

(21:17):
always a different, it's a different And it's like Lassie
the Dog. Lassie they been making last Sie movies don't
make it any more, but they made lasting movies for
like forty years. And yeah, and not like it's not
the groundhog is actually gonna just miraculously talk. I mean
that i'd pay double for if anything. Worse than paying
for that is showing your friends look look like I
paid eighty dollars and I got my girlfriend a greeting

(21:39):
from the trainer. The trainer, Hey, guess what if the
groundhog sees its shadow, It's six more years of you
being a loser living in your mom's house. That's right,
That's what that means. Could have had Michael Jordan, could
have had Floyd Midweather. You're not getting Floyd bad Weather
is a thousand. He's on there. Yeah, okay, so you
Wethers a thousand, yeah, then you know, yeah, probably he's

(22:06):
not on there. I got, I got, I got two
scambonies for you. I can throw a scam for you.
So I am currently in the market for a new
washing machine, okay, and I have an off shoot story
coming off the washing machine story. So, um, I'm gonna
pull that up because that's that's big. I'm gonna pull
up my my, my scamboni and a washing machine. Um,

(22:27):
and so I it's it's it's stops sometimes in the
middle of the wash, and so there's something that's it
can't be fixed. It says there's too many SuDS, but
there's no SuDS and you have to like put it
rense cycle and it's fine. So every once in a
while you think your wash is done and it's not. Okay,
So of course I call it. This is not not
a sponsor. I call our friends at PC Richard's son

(22:48):
and hey, guys, you gotta sail on on Washington drawers. Um,
you know, what do you recommend? And they sent me
a couple of they recommended a couple of items, and uh,
you know, they usually do right by me. They might
they might throw me free shipping, you know, like delivery,
you know, because deliveries money and then free shipping. Free
shipping closes deals all the time. I've learned that that

(23:10):
people hear that and their ears perk up and like, okay,
I'm in right, yeah right. It's like, look, we'll give
you free delivery because they do us a favor because
they used to advertise with the morning show and we've
made friends with a lot of the guys over there.
Not like, you know what, we'll give you free delivery
and free hook up. You may be saving me fifty bucks.
And so I shopped there because they have a great assortment.
I love them. This isn't a commercial anyway. So I

(23:31):
went to look at the at one of the models
that I was interested in. I wanted to look like
rather than just buy it offline. I was right near
one of the stores near my house. I went into
Go Right Sales. Guys helped me. They showed me the
model and uh, the price was I want to say

(23:54):
six eighty. It was something like six eighty. You follow
me so far? I okay. So on my way home,
I had to do a couple of returns at home Depot,
which is not far from where I was. So I
go to home Depot to do the returns, and my
wife wanted a light for the grill. We have a
grill so the onion stink stays outside. So I'm looking
for the grill light and I said, you know what,

(24:16):
they have a washro and drying department here. I know
I'm going to get a better price at PC Richard.
But let me see what the same washer and dryer.
The washer is at home Depot, so I see it.
It's right by the front, the same model that I want. Considerably.
It was five okay, so I'm like, whoa wa, this

(24:39):
is great. It's got a yellow it's his clearance. So
I'm like, okay, they're discontinuing this model. This is great.
I'm sorry it was six six it was at PC Richard. Sorry. Um,
and so it's five forty so I'm like, that's eighty
dollars right. That doesn't not look PC original match it.

(24:59):
I'm not right about that. So I'm looking. I'm going wow,
I said, So, I said, excuse me, call the salesperson over.
I said, this is five forty. Yeah, I said, is
this model discontinued? It's on clearance. This is great. How
much is delivery figuring? If I'm getting free delivery at
six whatever, twenty whatever? I said six? When I say, right,

(25:21):
I see how much delivery is. It may be almost
the same price. So the guy says, oh, there's no
delivery on that what uh? He says, it's clearance. I said,
but but but but he says, no, it's only free
delivery if you get it from the factory. We're selling
that one right there. So I said, so, how would
I get at home? I don't know. That's the scam

(25:44):
right there? Would you guys hook it up? No, nope,
we don't deliver or hook up the U the floor model.
You know they do that. They'll deliver anything, anytime, anywhere.
Right again, not a commerce commercial. I'm not a commercial
sponsor myself. We're not getting paid for this. Now. I

(26:04):
gotta rent the truck. So yeah, for five forty, I
can rent the truck somehow, find someone to help me
with it. Every time the truck, get it into my house,
down the steps, hook it up myself. Five forty five forty?
Who's that price for Joe Plumber? Like, Hey, I'm Joe Plumber.
I'm taking half of five forty. Who's buying that? Now?

(26:26):
Somebody listening, what do you slices? Like I gotta f
one fifty and a ramp and I was rubbing that
right up. I got it. I'm not that guy. I
admire you if you're the guy that's got the truck
and the ramp and the lift and the cables and
the back brace and all that that's beautiful, and the
hand truck when you get home. I don't have any
of that. So now we'll come to Grand. Doesn't come
now looking at the Grand to get to get all

(26:48):
this stuff and the wheels and the roll and the
Please tell me you went in and you you canceled
the order or you didn't you didn't buy it and
you went back to our friends at PC. Oh, of
course I'm buying it a PC. I was gonna say.
I mean, there's I was only looking to see because
I wanted to see how much money I was saving.
Now the full price on that washing machine the one
that's that's six twenty was six eight nine. It was

(27:10):
like more but the clearance one. I was like five forty.
Oh my god, I'll take it right. Oh no, no,
that's to me, that's a that's a scamboni, right, it
is a. It wasn't. Did you just hit the wrong
jingle the wrong I was on the wrong sound bank.

(27:32):
We suck, but I one. Now I feel like I
owe a scary inappropriate because I played them. Don't slip
it in yet. I got another scamboni. Um. So my
doctor recommended I take probiotics, right because I was having

(27:52):
an upset stomach. He's like, you should take probiotics. Here,
that up for you. So I go to Walgreens. You
know where we're forced to go. Now, yes, we know
that one the scam, the major scamboni right, Okay, So
I say to the woman, Uh, listen, I need probiotics,
like a line or something, right, That's what my doctor
said to get It was either a line or something else.

(28:12):
It was two different companies. She's, oh, we we have
a line. I get. So when you go to the
drive through at Walgreens, if you want one thing, they'll
run into the store for you grab it and then
give it to you the drive through. This is the
drive through, by the way. We had all the problems
that I've talked about before. So I said the woman,
can you get me what just do you want the generic?
What do you want the name brand? I said, well,

(28:33):
if the generic is is a lot less, that's fine,
but if you know, let me know. So she comes
back and she says, oh, uh, I got you the
name brand. The line it was twenty two dollars, but
the generic was only twenty one, and I figured for
a dollar more, you'd want the name brand, I said.

(28:54):
I said, oh all right, no, no, that's fine for
dollar all right, I'm gonna I'm I'm not gonna get
out of there. She to me the favor for a dollar.
I'm like, okay, I get the name brand. Not a problem.
So I get home and it was scary for fourteen pills. Yeah, okay,
so you gotta take uh to a day. The doctor
had me on. So I got a week out of

(29:14):
it roughly right. Okay. So after the week is up,
I'm still not feeling regular. So I called my doctor.
He says, you need you need to stay on there.
On the probiotics another couple of weeks, so I go
back to Walgreens popping placebos there. What were you doing there, Bertie? No,
so I go. I go back to the Walgreens a
couple of days later, and I'm in the store this time,

(29:36):
so I'm not in the drive too. I had to
go in the store for something, and I look at
the probiotic. It's twenty two dollars for fourteen pills. It's
a lot of money. And I see the knockoff the
Walgreen's name brand in the orange box is twenty one dollars,
just like she said, except for one I get one pills.

(30:02):
Oh really, yeah, so it wasn't one dollar more, it
was one dollar more and seven dollars less. Seven. Now
they got to be back in the store after fourteen
pills when I could have gotten twenty one dollar lest
double check it. You didn't double check it because you

(30:23):
were because it was continued, so PESHI said, in uh
lethal weapon. They fuck get the drive, drove the drive always.
They always fun that right there is why I refuse
to insta cart and and all these companies coming to
my house shopping the groceries for me. They will never

(30:44):
ever do as good or a thorough job as I
would in person. We've talked about this in this podcast,
to where they don't where they don't give you the
freshest stuff. They just grab us up front. You know
you got to reach in the back because that's the
stuff that's the freshest, right, And they packed from back
to front, and you know damn well that they're not
shopping for your best interest. Guess what it needs to
car person would have given me the same freaking pills

(31:05):
that you got, absolute fucking lutely. Yeah, all right, we
got one more quick break. Okay, right after this, right
after this, right after this, no this, or you can
go with this, or you can go with that. Well
this scary. Have you ever used a shipping calculator online?

(31:30):
A shipping calculatory calculator? Of course? Yeah, it's always in
its usually on the site. Yeah all right. So my
wife sells something and she wants to ship it. She
selld it on on Facebook to an out state resident
and she says, uh, ship my pants ships? Can you
can you box it up? Take it over to the
ups store? I said, sure, says you know what, let

(31:52):
me check, let me check all the prices. Let me
see UPS because it was going to um uh, Washington State,
so cross the country from New Jersey. Right, She's let
me see who has the cheapest rates. So she goes
on online. She does the FedEx, UPS USPS and she says,
all right, UPS is the cheapest. Okay, I measured the
box one by nine by five. It's uh four point

(32:16):
two pounds whatever comes out that the shipping was, I
want to say sixteen and change. Uh, USPS was eighteen
and FedEx was nineteen. Give a take. So UPS is
the cheapest. It's it's sixteen dollars and change. So I
go in with the box. I showed them the address,

(32:38):
she says, she puts it in TOPS in the address
and change. I said, there must be a mistake. I
used your online shipping calculator and uh it said sixteen
and change. So there must be a mistake. She says,
you use the UPS shipping calculator. Well, yeah, that's what

(33:01):
I'm talking about. Why would I use like Mike's shipping calculator.
I used UPS shipping calculator. She oh, did you use
the UPS smart shipping calculator on the website. Yeah? Yeah.
Now now I'm feeling good now, feeling like, yeah, I've
answered your questions. I did what you wanted. I in
fact used the smart shipping calculator. Just oh that's the problem.

(33:24):
I'm sorry. Yeah, that's corporate and their prices are different.
I don't know why why are they showing I said,
what are you a franchise? What what do you It
wasn't like, you know, like those Verizon stores. It's like
Joe's Electronics and it has a Verizon sign on it.

(33:44):
Of course they paid to me there, right, but there
were actual Verizon stores. And when you go into those
fake Verizon stores, got your phone right as your phone
about No, aren't they do you want an accessory? You
want to call charger? Yeah, at your phone because they're
just a franchise or they just bought the logo and
name and it's it's legal, but they get to run

(34:06):
their own local deals and yeah, so you're Alexei's Alexei Cellular.
So they calculators. There's two shipping calculators in the same sho.
I said, I saw, I said to I go, So
I said, well, how smart is the smart shipping calculator?
If it isn't smart enough to give me the right price.
Sounds like pretty stupid to me. Yeah. So she looks

(34:28):
at me like she doesn't understand, like she doesn't get
the joke. I'm trying to be sarcastically annoying. She didn't
get the joke. She just got the annoying. So I said, well,
why would I pay five dollars more? Why is your
website off? Yeah? I really don't know. So I said,
how do I know you're not checking up the price?
How do I know you're not checking up the scale?
You don't know that. I don't know any of that.

(34:50):
You're flying here? Yeah, so I did. My wife is
texting me, I gotta go good, I did, I gotta go,
I gotta go. You what is the purpose of having
an online calculator? I didn't like. They didn't say what
size of the package, and I said, it's approximately. What
is the way it could be? I wait, I have
a I have a male scale. I'm not guessing the

(35:11):
gender of my scale. It could be a female scale.
I don't know. So I waited. I waited the posted scale.
I put the thing on. I measure with an actual
tape measure right New York Jets tape measure that maybe
why it was wrong. I don't know. It can't be
you know, can't be too careful and I bring, oh yeah,
it's five dollars more. You're talking about a thirty percent
roughly difference. That's almost a third more. That's crapf you

(35:40):
fu ups store and you swat shipping calculates it fu
ups or f ups f You know what I can
overlap them? I could. I could do like logo where
the whether you is yeahs fops, Well, like FedEx like
it's fucking fucking ed x. You can't like funk at x.

(36:00):
You can't do that fun FedEx FedEx FedEx Yeah, and
then uh fastus would be fun usps. Who's texting you?
You gotta be fucking kidding me. Oh my god, it happened.
It happened again. No, no, Brodie, this is gonna fucking
burn you two. Everything burns me. Okay, it's Girl Scout

(36:24):
Cookie season. Nope, here it comes. You mentioned this on
the Big Show today, and people have been sliding into
my d m s. Not just kids, not kids, moms
of kids saying my daughter, here's they They lead with
my daughter is selling your daughter, then have your daughter

(36:45):
sell it. But you are selling it to me right now,
so and then so now because you can't you know,
visit each other in person very much. Right, So they're
putting they're just throwing the link out there. All they're
doing is spreading around the link for the corporate uh
you know Girl Scout website. Of course, maybe the troop
gets I think the troops. You put the number in whatever,

(37:05):
did you know how much for a five dollar box
of cookies? The troop gets fifty cents a box, all right,
So that's the first that's another scamboni right there. The
rest goes to Girl Scouts of America. It's corporation, it's
a business. Uh, it's not all the same price, no,
I know. But they only made fifties seventy cents the
local troop, does you know? Now, I'm seventy cents. Leave

(37:28):
me alone and don't sell cookies in January when everyone's
trying to lose weight. Terrible time, terrible time. Sell me
the cookies in November when I'm shoving food in my
mouth left and right. Yeah, bad planning. No one knows
the market, that's terrible market. First quarter of scary is
not buying and I'm not even looking at Girl Scout cookies,
fourth quart of scary, back the truck off. But this

(37:48):
is a new level. Where the truck was fourth quarter scary,
not the cookies. But this is a new level of audacity.
And that is people now group texting, not even get
a private text. It's a group text where hey, so
my daughter is selling Girl Scout cookies. Here's the form
and it's just an online form. Here go to this site.
But you mean it's it's there's no effort and it's

(38:10):
a thirty at night. What did it takes? She put
a group a group message together. She probably was like
people in her contacts now, not relation on you to
this person, just a third level friend. Uh more of
I don't I don't want to offend this person. Oh god,
it's somebody who works at the radio station in the alright, yeah,

(38:35):
you know what. You outed someone from the sales department
a couple episodes ago. But you know I'm not going
to add her this one here she says, like, could
you help my daughter? Okay, if I could know, you
know what, I want your daughter. I want your daughter
to come here and ring my belly ring in the
pandemic in the pandemic yeah, ring with you know, you

(38:56):
put the effort in. Now buy your cookies. Here's what's worse.
Remember engineered Jeff second quarterscery would like cookies, not first quarter. Uh,
Engineer Jeff curmudgeon, grumpy uh, backbone of the radio station
in New York. He runs it, fixes it, repairs it,
corrects it. He keeps them up, flips it and rub it,

(39:16):
rubs it down, and he reverses it's he puts your thing. No, no,
that's different. I know I just tagged it on that.
I just tagged it on. I was combined and I
tagged it I tagged a tag team. Tag team back again. Continue.
By the way, have you seen them in the mire?
It is the commercial. Those guys have gained some weight

(39:38):
they have they're making dessert. They both gained weight equally,
so it's like they're both like flap team. If you
don't know what we're talking about, it's a tag team.
Woom there. It is a song from the nineties. Google
it there in the new Geico commercial or whatever it was. Yeah, yeah,
cooking dinner and they're making dessert. Okay, anyway, going right,
So Jeff, Jeff is a like he's kind of a

(39:59):
grumpy guy, only like he's fun. He's like, yeah, what's broken? Now?
What do you guys need? What do you guys mess up? Right?
It's always like belligerent, okay, what was so important? But
when his daughter was selling girls cuties, he come in
with the big sales pitch. All right, guys, you got
my cookies cookies and my daughter selling cookies. You know,

(40:21):
he got me shifter and cheery. It wasn't like, hey, guys, listen,
I need a favor. You know, my daughter's adorable. Here's
a picture. He wasn't. He wasn't elated, he wasn't enthusiastic.
He stopped putting in the effort. The little girls come in,
they're like, hi, would you buy girl scout guies in me?
You're like, all right, look fine. He's like, yeah, you're
gonna buy some cookies and I might fix your control

(40:43):
board death. All right, you want something to the best
is passed and wrap has the sheet around. I'll be
back later. Right, he would leave the sheet. He's like, yeah,
you want your your voice processing the work. You buy
some docy does I'll be back then. I thought that
was the worst sales pitch. But a group text message

(41:04):
it doesn't get anything. That group text message. That's what
this is. Hold on, I'm counting how many people are
on here. It's gotta be at least fourteen fifteen people
on this thing. Yeah, and uh, scary, you learned something
yesterday about group text messages, didn't you? I did, all right,
So check this UM so so users and I'm obviously

(41:26):
an iPhone users and we are in a group chat
on the morning show with like fourteen of us. We're
buying lottery tickets. Holy crap. Hold on, let me I
got a text scotty because I didn't send the money.
So yeah, so tell the story I did. So anyway,
I was responding, I wanted to send how did this go? Brodie?
Because you ended up you ended up telling me the

(41:48):
right way to do it on an android. Apparently from
an android you could take You can say the same message,
and you can send it to several different parties at
the same time, but individual individually like blind copy, right,
So I can send it a message to twenty people.
Each of those people will get the message, but only
to them. What was it that made you say, Hey, scary,

(42:10):
you know you can do this? And I'm like, I
can't I hate I hate being in group chats with
iPhone people because they have, first of all, they have
to apply to everybody. Even if it's not a question,
everyone needs the answer to, right, just reply back to
That's what a group chat is, Brodie. I understand that
we're all in a virtual room together and we're all okay.

(42:30):
And I'm not talking about this particular group, but a
lot of times when you're in a group, the people
will say, like, hey, um, who's watching this TV show tonight? Right?
The whole room doesn't give a ship? Only one person
asked the question. So text the guy back who asked
the question. I am and be done with it. I
don't need to know the other thirteen people what they're
doing tonight. I don't give a ship. But what's worse

(42:51):
is when you're an Android user, is when somebody happen
likes a comment that, like we talked several times on
this podcast, I don't want it right, So I said
the scary dude, just why don't these people just write
Scottie back? Why do they all have to like put
thumbs up and check marks and hearts and everything. I
don't like. My phone's going crazy. I'm driving in the
call just right to get back. But one thing that

(43:12):
I uncovered during this and I forgot what the scenario was,
was that that was the scenario. Scenario was the scenario was.
I responded back to the group when apparently you can
tell you could text people. You could take the same
message and send it to all these people individually, so
you could start private chats right away. It's it's it's

(43:34):
hard to explain. Really, I don't know. I don't understand
what I'm saying, Like, Okay, something you can do Android.
But Android has the option of you can send either
a group text where everyone's in the group together, or
you can send a mass text where each person gets
it in. That's what I'm saying. I wanted to send
a mass text individually, right, And you like the girl
Scout text you just got if you want or if

(43:56):
anyone replies back to that text message, we're all going
to get Everyone is going to get that bullshit. Now
you're gonna know that Mary's buying some you know, is
the moment that Mary breaks off and gets in a
private conversation, which you hope she's not gonna I always
mentioned her name, right, You would think that to apply

(44:16):
all people. It's to apply all people, but it depends.
I mean, if you have a group chat with your
friends going for the last two years, it's just like
you're all hanging out in the room. I'm sitting on
the couch, You're in the kitchen, the other guy's taking
a dump in the bathroom, and we're all just kind
of talking to each other. And and I may and
I may not be talking to you, but I may
be talking to my buddy j over here. And then

(44:36):
but if you hear it, it's okay. You're still in
the room and you have ears, so you're listening, so
it doesn't matter. I could still talk to Jay in
front of you. That's what a group chat is. So
you really shouldn't be offended by people passing comments around.
It's only in the case where you just said, where
send a mass text individually to each person so they
all respond back to you privately. Right, that's the situation,

(45:00):
And that makes sense for what you're saying. But you know,
but you have to have an Android and you've got
to point out that in five years this feature maybe
coming to the ipace. Yes, And that's the reason why
Apple covers your fucking face up. If you listen on
Apple podcast, the logo is over my the logo, the
Apple logo is on Brodie's face. And I'm fine with that.

(45:21):
I'm fine with it. I don't I don't. I don't
need my face. My voices makes the money for me. Uh.
I just I just have I just something came up
that that's hold on. Let me see what you wrote
back and I'll tell you what's going on. Ye happening
in the background. Okay, So Scotty on our show, we
mentioned him earlier. He buys the lottery tickets for the
power Ball and whatever. The other one is the Mega millions, right,

(45:43):
and we've been chipping in for a week and a
half now. Everybody chips in twenty dollars, right, but if
anybody wins, that's twenty dollars. Times are fourteen of us
or ten of us whatever it is, you're you're increasing
the odds. So first of all, we're on the today
talking about how we're all gonna chip in and you
have to get the money before two o'clock to Scotty,
and some of the money is in the pot. We're

(46:04):
rolling it in. On a second, I'm gonna voice text
to be you rolled in sixty four dollars of my money,
so a couple of those tickets are mine or I'm
in on a couple of them. Okay. He took the
winnings from the last group, but you're not in on
this group. Is that what you're saying? Okay? So I
didn't get two o'clock today. I was glued to the

(46:25):
television and then I had to run aarons what my
kids and i'd stuff to do? I forgot okay. Um,
So I just texted him and I said, is it
too late to get in? Right? Because I don't know
if he went yet. He probably went, but I was like,
I'll just check. He said it's too late to get in.
So I wrote back and I said, damn. Now I

(46:47):
have to hope you'll lose. Yeah. Why why was he
when you want you betting against him? Well? But I
had so. So here's the thing, scary. Do I root
for you guys to win and I'm fun because I
didn't give the money, Or do I root for you
guys to lose so that we're all back in it
again for the next drawing, Because if you guys win,

(47:08):
I'm gonna be like suicidal I think I think the
first I think the first way is because we're all
gonna probably chip in and give you some kind of
a We could do a pity fund for Brody. Yeah,
pity fund. You'll all throw me a thousand dollars so
I'll get I'll get ten thousand dollars instead of my
like twenty million dollars share. That's not right, So am

(47:29):
am I wrong? You understand what I'm saying. I have
to root against you guys, But however, you do haven't
in here? You do have? You have an argument because
we took some of the winnings from the last round
sixty and we rolled it in. So who's to say
which would have been the winning ticket if we win tonight? Right,
because you're part of that sixty four dollars some of

(47:50):
that was your pay out, right, Hang on, second, hold on,
So technically you need to take sixty four dollars worth
of those tickets and separate them out. And I'm in
on those. Take a picture of them now, right because
that's my money. I'm actually I agree with you on that.
So there you go. You're in. No, that's gonna be
a problem tomorrow. Well, double topic, that's gonna be on

(48:14):
the radio. We're gonna talk about this. By the time
you hear this podcast, we will have already done a
double topic. So the double topic is number one. Part
of that money's mine, even though I didn't chip in
an extra twenty uh a third a quarter of them,
and I'm in on. I chipped in the sixty who's
to say which He's gonna have to separate them ahead
of time, right, I said, I said take a picture now,

(48:37):
I said, take out sixty four dollars worth of tickets,
take a picture of them, and I'm in on those.
That's that's legitimate. It is, it is, it is, it's
absolutely and you're you're within your you know you're right
to do that. I'm not everybody. If everybody chipped in
twenty dollars, right, let's say there's nine, that's one eight.

(48:58):
If you had the sixties to forty so tickets, I'm
in on. I'm gonna call him right now, by the way,
that's a dick move, by the way, to him to
tell you it's too late and shut you down. You're
part of this office. Let's tell him. You want to
yell at him, No, I want to tell him take
it on the tomorrow. We'll get him on the phone
right now. We'll get him on. I'll get him right
on if he wants to talk on the phone. The

(49:19):
last time he didn't answer. Okay, let's see if you will.
I don't know he owes us. All right, we promote
serial killers day and night, night and day. Why don't
you promote that right now for us? Tom that's the
serial killers. As I'm done dialing him, well, he can
do it. I want him to hear the plug so
he knows I'm plugging his podcast. Okay, if I plug

(49:39):
it now, I don't get credit. He's not gonna hear it.
Okay my credit. Yeah, you three point nine millions. By
the way, you just spend another thousand dollars at least
on that piece of equipment that's made for radio stations,
your vox Pro system. You had to have it at home.
I did. I did. And it needs to und needs

(50:00):
to run windows though. Okay, what's your what's you're doing?
It's like a mechanic buying a hydraulic lift for his
garage at home. How do you feel lift cars up?
How do you figure? Because you don't need this? This
is this is radio equipment for a radio station. You
just like being a dork at home and having all
the gadgets. We do radio. This is what we do

(50:21):
for a living. Yes, I do radio. I'm on a
folding table, uh, an expense docking station and a nine
dollar chord from Amazon and a microphone that Elvis born.
But don't you want to I've talked about this on
the last podcast. Don't you want to invest in your future?
You're gonna be doing this from the future. My talent
is my future. I don't need to get it fancy equipment. Okay,

(50:42):
get him on the phone. He's not going to answer.
He's not gonna answer. He's probably asleep. Maybe he's jerking off.
He does a lot of that. Okay, Now my family's
home is gonna be bloking. Of course he's not gonna
answer now, so you jinxed it? All right? I told Hi,

(51:04):
answer the phone. Are you calling him on the cell phone?
He just had a cell phone in his hand. That
means he's he's ignoring us. I went to voice. Yes,
you think he's gonna give me some millions when he wins? No?
Did you tell him to answer the phone? Yes? I wrote,
here's what I wrote, maybe this was confusing. I wrote

(51:26):
answer phone. Do you think I should have written please
answer phone? Scott, call him again, Call him again. He's
sending me to voicemail. I could tell oh, he's like,
it's two lay for a minute, talk on the phone. No,
that's what is That's one that's going on. You either that.

(51:48):
He's on the phone with Elvis telling Elvis he can't
believe what I'm saying. I'll do the math on the air.
I don't care those tickets. I'm in on you. I
agree with you, Brodie, and I'm going to tell him
that right here. I'm I'm on your side, you know me.
Slices are on my side. You have that slice to
the audio told you to get Yeah, I got Scott.
He's not answering whatever. It's not okay, I gotta He's

(52:10):
no fun. He knows I'm right. Now. You know he's busted. Now.
He's busted because he knows I'm right. We have a
couple of free dessert stories for you that I wanted
to give you from the mail bag. Absolutely, yeah, but
let's play this one piece of sound that we have
here are actually two pieces of sound. All right, So
what's the This is a phone number. The phone number one,

(52:32):
the one. It's the message that was left for you.
Do you want to know what? You want to know?
What language this is? What's going on here? Is that
the one we played it last week? Now we played
two calls last week, but then you sent something else.
It's this listen warranty? Linchy? Is that Cantonese? What is that?

(52:56):
It sounds like a dialect of Chinese. It sounds like
definitely some Chinese in there. Why did we play it?
Where did this come from? That was my answering machine?
That was another way was at home? That was that
was a recent one though that was after last week,
so we don't know. We wanted a translation. Is that
what we're hoping for here? No? I'm like, I don't know.
Is that like my social Security number is bad? But

(53:18):
they are hoping that I was Asian? You're going to warranty?
I don't know what it is? Come on, scare you?
Do you do accents what I'm saying I have? First
of all, I'd like to know what language that is.
I'm guessing it's it's it's a form of Chinese, but
but Chinese has several different dialects and several different reasons.

(53:40):
So if you if you know what that what she
said and what what dialect that is or what region,
please let us know. But we're curious. Um. All right, now,
let's move on to UM, our friends, Barstool Sports, and
our guy I'm trying desperately Dave Portner figure out, David,
I'm trying to find the person who sent it to me.
I ap aologize. UM. So Dave Portnoy is the guy

(54:03):
who probably you probably know him from just One B
the pizza review guy. He's like, all right, everyone knows
the rules. One bite and he takes ten bites and
he gives pizza a rating. And he pulls up randomly
to these places in the middle of the day when
no one's expecting him anyway, so he he doesn't right,
but hold on, he does his typical stick. He goes

(54:23):
into the store, buys the pizza and now this is
the part where he comes out with the pizza pie
and he's about to eat it on camera and talk
about a promotion that they happen to be running with
a uh an app called Slice, which, by the way,
let me take it from there. But I was gonna say, hey, Slice,
if you're listening, Uh, you should be a sponsor of

(54:43):
our problem. It's a no brainer. Continue hold Okay. So
Danielle Marie uh sent me uh DM deal d ms
on on the Graham that's de Marie seven one seven.
I'm assuming she's a Philly girl from the area code.
Either that our birthdays July seventeenth, possibly okay, or it's July,

(55:04):
in which case she's three and a half years okay.
So she sent me the video of the audio gonna play. So, uh,
Dave from Dave from Barstool's Dave right, the creator call
her daddy. Yeah, No, he's not the creator. He's the
owner of owner of her daddy right. He bought it
from them, sign them and right. Okay. So he's trying

(55:27):
to talk about how this this Slice app. The Slice
app allows you to buy and get delivered pizza from
Pizza all over your area. I don't know if it's
available everywhere. I know it's in some major cities like
New York and Boston. After that, it's a cool concept
because you can get You're not to tweet me, but anyway,
So he's trying to talk about a promotion and he's

(55:47):
fumbling over the exact verbiage of what they promotion. It's
a contest and you have hashtag this thing. And Danielle
heard him say something that caught her attention. And play
the clip you'll hear what she's what she is stool
president day. We want to get free pizza for a year.
They're doing on social media Instagram, Twitter if you do

(56:10):
the hashtag pizza for life, Slice for life, Slice for
a year. So hemmerly said slice Slice Now listen, listen, Dave,
my man we are I am a manning Dave because
I can. And by the way, we were just called

(56:30):
Spruce tonight. I left to call Spruce next week next Wednesday,
told me he was available. He yeah, he was. I forgot.
Is he still available? No, I'll get him on. By
the way, I don't. I don't know how this happened,
but Anderson Windows and Doors keeps emailing me. Not it's
so sending me promotions, and all the promotions say dea Spruce. Now,

(56:55):
Spruce is not a common name. So somehow Dave think
I'm him. I have no idea what happened, no idea
how Kenderson Windows thinks I'm Spruce? Right? Could you teach
me his number real quick. By the way. In the meantime,
got continue, Are you gonna call him? So? I'm gonna okay,

(57:17):
so I, I tweeted, I tweeted, I I replied to
the post. I commented on the post on his uh
on Barstool's Instagram, I said, Hey, man, we're big fans
our listeners. Slogan is slice for Life. We have pizza
in our logo. Our fans are the slices. You said,
slice for Life. Check out our podcast available on all

(57:40):
platforms except Eiser. But he has not, to my knowledge,
checked out our podcast because Stool praised the big Bucks
Stool president. Ay uh. You know, once you slide into
his d m s there or everyone, tell him about us,
tell him that we've been here, and tell him if
he likes to call her, you know, ditty podcast. He

(58:02):
will love. Call her Brodie exactly, call her Brodie. He
heard it. That's the name. Give me that. Give me
that message. In the meantime, let me tell you a
story of hope from Trevor. He wrote to us, is
it mail time? Say send you the mail time jingle?
I think it's mail time. I think I've been slacking
on the jingles lately because we're at home and it's

(58:24):
not as easy to you mail talk that change like
it's mail time. Welcome, you've got mail. The buttons I
press are for Barbie Doll fingers, big fat thumbs. I'm
telling you, well, we're working remotely, so you know. Yes,
this is a great equipment that can handle a lot

(58:46):
of things. It's just the display screen is really small. Anyway,
Trevor said, hey, uh, I just want to tell you
my free dessert story from Wayfair and Amazon. My wife
and I ordered a buffet table. Long story short, It
showed up damage. My wife said, what are you gonna do?
I said, oh, don't you worry. I'm gonna get my
free dessert. Called and they said there was nothing they

(59:09):
can do. Supervisor ended up getting sixties six dollars back
for the damages. Amazon didn't order my wife's package on time.
I said, oh, hold on a second call. Amazon called
Amazon and said it was my wife's birthday and the
package was super important. It wasn't. They said, we can

(59:31):
do a five dollar gift card, you cheap bastards. I said,
here's what you're gonna do for me. Double it to
ten dollars and I'm happy the package costs fifteen dollars
small dessert, but thanks. I'll be buying the book Slice
Full Life. Hashtag fuck you, a hashtag scaries box. Nice

(59:56):
to want to see that you got it all right.
Also so um Lenny Lamb wrote to us about the
Mandela effect, saying, Okay, I'm powering through some of the
later podcasts. I can't remember which episode, but you guys
mentioned the Mandela effect. One example Brody used was the
Berenstein barren Stain Bears and that it has always been

(01:00:20):
the barren Stain Bears or Berenstein or whatever. I found.
I found this old picture in my hard drive and
wanted to share it with you. It's actually there. It
is the book The Barrenstein Bears learn about whatever it is,
So and the Ill learn about stranger whatever anyway, stranger danger.

(01:00:41):
The point is it was weird that a random reference
from his past was mentioned on the day that he
listened to the podcast, and then lo and behold, he's
going through his collection he finds these old books. Um, yeah, alright, okay,
well that's that's a coincidence. That's a coincident, is not
a it's not not irony. Yeah, alright, alright, please read

(01:01:03):
this on the podcast. It would be irony if on
the way home Barrenstein Bear killed him. Okay, anyway, y'all
read an email on episode Oh, Noel Johansson wrote, y'all
wrote it? What up? Guys? You all wrote? Read an
email on episode one one from my buddy David. Oh wait,
we do talked about this. This is to eat a
dick guy. All right, We're good, all right, continue, We

(01:01:26):
did this last week. I remember us talking about to
eat a dick guy from the r v A And
you said, what is the r v A mean? And
I said, okay, okay, okay, okay, Richmond, Virginia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, alright,
back to um. Have you heard so? I wanted to
talk about enterprise around a car um, and I wanted
to talk Should I talk about the bed Beth and
Beyond thing again? We can do anything your little heart

(01:01:48):
desires because we own this podcast and we'll do all
of that. Yeah, you know when we're gonna do it. Party.
Didn't we already do two commercial breaks? We only did one? Man,
you have Anesia, Well, I thought we did the one
up front. No, that was this that was it. That
was it? This this is that that you could do
with this you do that's it? And now this man

(01:02:10):
it I can't remember everything. It's later Wednesday night. This
story was in the New York Post a day or
two ago. I wanted to share it with everybody. I'm
not getting political. I always preface that. But you know,
we had the uh, the unfortunate uh riots at the
Capitol a couple of weeks ago, two weeks today, and

(01:02:32):
you know, the FBI is trying to use video footage
and camera angles and uh they have apparently right now
at least and then apparently they have cell phone uh
like uh, cell phone detectors. So if you were in
the Capitol with your cell phone, they they'll know you there.
They can track you. And so and a lot of

(01:02:53):
people posted videos of themselves bragging like, oh, look at me,
I'm doing it. Look at me, I'm in the Capitol.
Look at me. Is my name, my busy and this
is my company. And they're all getting caught for being dumb. However,
this guy wins. This guy wins. A Maryland man was
arrested for being at the Capitol riot for being involved

(01:03:15):
in the riot, right how did they catch him, Well,
he was arrested for something else. He was out on
parole at the time. He went to the capitol and
he was wearing his ankle monitor. Oh my god. So
they g PSC's ankle monitor because he's on parole. So

(01:03:35):
they track you, and they tracked him to the capitol.
That's not a smart criminal, not a smart So it's
a Maryland man. I I usually the right right. Uh,
let me tell you about Enterprise, enterprise running car. It's

(01:03:58):
a it's a little bit of a free disser story. Um,
there's a lot to it. But uh, I don't know
where to to to argue first, so let me um. Uh. First,
I called Enterprise because I told you my I had
a couple of car accidents that I got my my
Dodge Charger got hit. Now, my Dodge Charger is a

(01:04:20):
very large car. It seats five. Right, it's a full
size car in the sense of old school full size car.
But Enterprise they consider anything with four doors, mostly like
a Camra or an Ultima full size car. I can
fit those cars in the trunk of my car. Okay, So, uh,

(01:04:42):
I said to the to the woman, when I when
I when I from the other company, the other car company,
the insurance of the guy who hit me, the guy
with no license, that guy. I say to the woman, listen,
when you approve my rental car, which you say could
take up to four days, let me tell you what
what's gonna need to be done. I'm gonna need you
to give me an upgraded full size car or a

(01:05:04):
luxury car, because I don't want to drive a small
car that you call a full that enterprise calls a
full size car. So step one, I want an upgrade.
You guys hit me no license. She's okay, no problem.
I said. Second of all, you're gonna pay for my
satellite radio. Because I pay for satellite radio and my
car is in the shop, I can't use my car,

(01:05:26):
and I wanted car with satellite radio, and I'm not
gonna pay for that. Oh, we don't do that. Now.
I've talked about this on the show before, because I've
rented cars before and I've made them pay for the
satellite radio. She says to me, well, I'm gonna have
to ask my supervisor. But I don't see that happen.
So she calls me back four days later and says,
are you've been approved to go get your car just
but we can't pay for the satellite radio. I said, well,

(01:05:48):
I need to speak to supervisor. I already called my supervisor.
She said that, UM, she can't. She she's not gonna
do it. I said, you're gonna do it. I said,
I warns you on Monday that when all this was
said and done, you were gonna pay for my satellite radio. Right.
You don't know me, but trust me, you're gonna pay
for my satellite radio. It's seven dollars a day roughly,

(01:06:11):
with taxes and everything that adds up. When when the
cause in the shop for a week, I said, so,
rather than going through the trouble, I warned you in advance.
I'm being nice. Started very nice woman. I said, I
did give you a heads up. I know, Mr Brownie,
but I spoke to my supervisor. She said no, as
I I tried to avoid this, please give me her information.

(01:06:32):
So she gives me information and I call our leave
her a message. That was on Thursday Friday. I have
to go rent the car. I haven't heard back yet,
but I still gotta go. After get the car, drop
my car from the shop, I call Enterprise and the
do you get the voicemail system. I wish I had
the recording. We sanitize our cars from the inside out. Well, okay,

(01:06:53):
what does it matter if you if you sanitize them
from the outside in it? Why is that? Why is
that a selling point? Why does it matter you're going
from the side out. Oh, you know, due to COVID restrictions,
we sanitize our cars on the inside out, from the
ground up. I don't care what direction you do it.
So I thought, that's kind of like who cares, right,
and they go and and you know, enterprise. The good

(01:07:14):
thing about enterprise is wherever you are within reason, if
you don't have a car, they'll come get you and
bring you to the rental place right right, So that's
like enterprise, we'll pick you up. Scary. I'm gonna tell
you something right now. I am not getting a car
with a stranger in a rental car. Are you really
gonna because I'm not getting a call with my friends

(01:07:35):
right now. I'm not going to call some wait hold on, no.
But even if you guys have no I don't know
if he's in conference and he's in the car for
the past something. Okay, I'm not doing it. So I
don't know about you, but I'm not getting in. They're
not picking me up. I'm happy to take that risk.

(01:07:56):
I'm not you. So I call, I call. It's like
a it's like eleven o'clock. I said, listen, I need
a car around twelve thirty. The guy says, uh, I
don't have any full sized cause right now. But you
know what, by twelve thirty, Uh, we might have different cause. Right.

(01:08:16):
So I said, um, well, what do you have now? Right?
I'll come now. He says, we don't have any cause
right now. Call me back at twelve thirty. Um, right,
he says, the cause will be different. Then I said, okay,
but what cause do you have now? He says, well,
you're not coming to twelve dirty, so what does it matter? So?

(01:08:38):
I said, well, if you have a car now and
it's something I like, I'll come now. Yeah, you know,
if you come now, we're gonna have different cars in
twelve thirty. Go what what does that matter if I
come now because you have a car? I like, what
does it matter if you have Are you listening to me?
He wasn't listening. He was so caught up in me
saying I was Originally I was coming at twelve thirty.

(01:09:01):
There was no way I could convince him. I'll come
now at ten o'clock. I'll come right now. So he says,
we have to call back. So I couldn't. I couldn't
deal with him, and he didn't have any cause when
I called back at twelve thirty, So I call another place.
Uh in a not a great area of New Jersey. Okay,
I wouldn't have called death first. And I said, um,

(01:09:22):
do you have a full size car? I drive a
Dodge Charger. I need a big car. Do you have
a CRISTI three hundred dog? What do you have? Says? Oh,
I have a Dodge charger. I said, great, I'm dropping
off my car now. I'll be there in like forty minutes.
Now I have a reservation number through the insurance company,
and I'm in their system already. I already have an
enterprise reservation, so I said. So I said, oh great,

(01:09:44):
I'll be there in like forty minutes. Let me drop
my car. You have an uncanny way of making things
more difficult for yourself and getting yourself into these issues.
And he understand it's a it's a so this was uh,
it was a Monday. It was was a Monday morning.
Nobody has any cars. Monday morning, everybody's renting cars for
the week. Nobody has any cars cass on the weekends. Right,

(01:10:07):
It's so, I said, listen, I've called nine enterprise renting cars.
You have the only car I want. You have a
Dodge Charger. I have a Dodge Charger. Can you please
hold the car for me? Yeah, I'm sorry. We can't
do that because we have people in the store. And
they didn't have to be a Dodge charger. Cann't have
been something lesser or something different. I didn't want a
small car they only had. They didn't have any of

(01:10:28):
the cars something big. They had nothing. They had nothing.
I feel like charger is a specialty card that they
rarely have a lot. Now. No, No, they have the
V six version, Like it's not expensive. That's one of
the cause they rent. It's a full sized car. It's
a it's a Dodge they rented. It's they rent Chevy
and Palace. They rent Dodge charges for fusions. There's certain
cause each company makes for rental car, like fleet cars.

(01:10:52):
The charger is one of those cars. So they have them,
they just don't always have them in stock. She wouldn't
hold the car for me, scary, I said, but I'm coming,
I'm deserving it. I'm in the system. Put me down.
Someone who store might want it. Someone who store might
want it. Okay. So I get to the play I
get to the place and I'm online and I looked

(01:11:16):
outside and in the in the parking lot they have
a M A g mc Terrain, which is a middle
sized suv, fully loaded, leather seats, really nice. So I'm like,
you know what, I'm gonna ask for that car because
they don't have a car my size. It's probably a
couple of hours more. I want that car. So I
get up to the counter. The woman's mind the counter,

(01:11:37):
I said, yeah, hi, I'm here, Mr Brody. Yeah, I
spoke on the phone with you. Yeah, huh uh the
charge up? Not that's gone okay. I said, well, I
went in your parking lot. You didn't have anything like
except I want. I would like I would like the terrain.
Can you give me the terrain? They didn't have anything scary,
they were booked up, so so um so I said,
So I said, well can I have the terrain? She

(01:11:58):
as well, there's only two problems with that. What's that one,
it's ten dollars more day than what you're you're reserved for.
And to that guy just got it and I see
him drive off in the car. I said, okay, I
really wanted that, just well, he needed it. He's tall,
So I said, okay, but are you saying I'm short?

(01:12:20):
And what do you think? She said, scary? What would
you do in customer service? I said, customer service? You
have to you'd have to clean up that mess real quick.
You have to say something like no, right, she said
to me, he's taller than you. He's taller than you. Yes, no, no,
she said, well, yeah, you are short, I said, I said,
I'm I said, you don't say it to a customer.

(01:12:42):
That's not very nice, Like, I'm not short, I'm not tall.
I'm five ten, I'm not five three. So then she
looks at me, she says, well, you're not very tall,
but don't tell me. I'm sure. I'm a customer, like,
I'm trying to be fun with it. I'm like, that's
a very nice. And the guy behind the counter is giggling.

(01:13:03):
He's a tall guy. He's kind of like chuckling, like
covering his mouth. I can see's chuckling. She stands up
scary to to take me to the parking lot to
pick out a car, and she's six three. Well, you
know what in comparison relative loreal, relatively you are you are.
I'm like, okay, I'm sure, I'm sure. She's got me

(01:13:24):
my five inches. I couldn't get me in the hoop
like she was towering over me. Okay. We go out
to the parking lot and they've got um a Chevy
and Palla. A Chevy and Pala is a nice car.
It's got leather, it's got all the options, doesn't have
a moon roof. What are you gonna do? It's got
satellite radio, which at this point nobody's paying for I'd
have to pay for it myself because I haven't heard

(01:13:45):
back from the supervisor. So I said, you know what,
that's a really nice car. It's black. It's like my car.
It's about as big as my car. I'll take it. Great.
It just came in today. We cleaned it up. It
just got back on the lot because it wasn't there
when I walked around before looking for the cause they had.
I said, oh great, it's meant to be. So we
go inside. We do all the paperwork, we get it,

(01:14:05):
I go to get in the car and I get
hit with a tornado of cigarette smoke, like the most awful,
like you know, like your coat had a garlic smell.
The car back in the day when you're allowed to smoke,
or Miami you still can do that. Right in Miami.
You can still smoke in clubs and bars. Right, So

(01:14:27):
the car is reeking of cigarette smoke. Now at this point,
my car's in the body shop. My friend dropped my friend,
Jeff dropped me off at the at the rental place.
I have no way to get anywhere without renting a car,
so my option is to get a little two door,
a little shitty car, or this car. So I said,

(01:14:47):
there's a sticker on the dashboard that says no smoking.
So I tell the woman. I go back in and
I said, wait, you did this on this podcast. You talked, Yes,
you talked about the fact that it was a smoke,
it was smoking, someone had smoked in the car, and
that you deserve some money off. Because right, so I did.
I So long story short, Uh they gave me, uh,

(01:15:09):
well they did. They couldn't do anything cause I wasn't
paying for the car. There was nothing they could do,
and they charged me for the satellite radio because apparently
that's a different department that they have to charge for.
So I put down to pay for the rental car
for the satellite radio, and then on Thursday, I still
haven't heard back about the seller radio. So I call

(01:15:29):
up the woman who was helping me and I say, listen,
it's been I'm returning the car tomorrow. I got like
a forty five dollar bill for the satellite radio, she
I said. I left her voicemail. I said, you gotta
help me here. I called your supervisor and never heard back.
Please call me back. So now I'm like ready for
a fight because I'm I'm a stink mobile and I'm
paying for satellite radio, which I told him I wasn't
gonna pay for. She calls me back, she says, Mr Brodie,

(01:15:53):
which We'll let you know. I spoke to my supervisor.
She was adamant that they were not going to pay
for your satellite radio. I said, I'm gonna call her
back right now, and she says to me, you don't
need to. I told her she was wrong. I said,
you have every right to get satellite radio, and I'm
taking it upon myself to approve it out of our
discretionary fund. And we are paying for your satellite radio,

(01:16:14):
and we are so sorry that we were short with you.
That's yeah. So if you're five ten but you're short,
I guess it's relative with relative, But can you imagine
being a customer service The guy that who drove away
with the car that she called him tall? Was he
six seven? Was you a basketball player? Well, he was

(01:16:35):
ahead of me online by two people. I would say
he was probably her height. Yeah, he was taller. But
you can fit into an Impella even if you're six three.
It's got a curved roof. It is a nice car.
I don't I don't think commercials. The point was. The
point was don't take ship. And you know what I
say to people, don't take ship. They should pay for

(01:16:56):
your satellite radio. Make him pay for your satellite radio.
That's all I've been trying to get spruce on all
this this entire time. I have a new system here.
This is kind of cool. It actually will take a
phone line, allegedly, and it will turn the phone line
into a podcast broadcast quality line. I kind of want
to try and come on, you do you have your

(01:17:18):
cell phone nearby. I'nna try it with you so badly.
Hold on, I'm gonna I'm gonna invite you. I'm gonna
see you. I want to try it so badly. This
is gonna make your day. What I'm gonna do? We do?
I want to. I want to, dude. This is how
we get do better things on our podcast. Hold on,
so I'm gonna I'm gonna text you to your phone
right now. A link. Okay, Now, okay, you're gonna turn
your mic off first set hold on a second night yet,
tell me when you get this, brody. Okay, here we go.

(01:17:41):
I'm going to turn off your microphone. You're expensive, well,
you're somewhat expensive microphone. You're decent, Mike, And I'm going
to pull you up on the phone on our phone
pod here you know theater? Did you get that? But yeah,
I got a link? Okay, Now I'm gonna turn your
mica on a second all right now click the link?
Click the link. H What is it? That's me waiting? Yeah, okay, waiting.

(01:18:08):
It's waiting for you. I'm waiting for you to come
into the room with me on my phone. Can you
hear me? What are you talking about? I hear you
turning my microphone. I have to sign up for this.
No you don't, do you really? Yes, says enter your
name put in. You can't just click the link and
go on. Oh my hold on email option will choose microphone,

(01:18:31):
your your phone, your phone, your phone mic default. Ok,
here we go. All right, Hey you there, microphone? Hello? Yeah,
how is that? Well? You sound like ship. I mean
it sounds like a phone call. This thing promised something different.

(01:18:54):
This thing promised like, well, are you on your WiFi?
Your home WiFi? I don't stop playing my equipment. It's
pretty bad. All right, I'm disappointed. Come back to my
damn it. All right, I'm back on my that's terrible.
I'm out of breath. My family's home. I didn't empty

(01:19:15):
the dish one thing. I wanted that on text message,
and I had two other things I wanted to talk about.
We'll do it next week. And so why why don't
you get a laundry list? No, it's it's all right.
Just I did my laundry list. I'm buying a washing machine.
Oh my goodness, folks. Oh, by the way, next week,

(01:19:35):
I'm doing a food run you know where I'm going
you're it. No, it's like you don't know.