#166: Shbagel Bastards 90210

#166: Skeery fell asleep on the phone during a business meeting; Brody goes postal at the post office; Skeery is sick of hearing about the Royal Family and tries to understand America's love affair with them; The boys debate the validity of a New York Times article that claims the best bagels are in California- not New York; Brody takes issue with a new peanut butter cup; A Free Dessert story and a #Slice who got stuck paying double on a hotel because of the pandemic

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start uf dot up, start up. Brooklyn Boys start up,
Brooklyn Boys start dat up. They're making noise data dot
up Episode one sixty six. I was, I was, I

(00:20):
was talking along with them. That was you. Yeah, I
felt like I was playing along, like I felt like
the listeners who know what's coming. So I sort of
I was trying to match. I thought it was a
bad echo. I'm like, oh, no, we're not starting out
like this, are we. It's all good. No, I was
trying to time it out the way you say it
because you have a certain cadence. Episode one sixty six,

(00:41):
Where are the Brooklyn bus? I was, I was excited, Yeah,
not excited. I felt like a listener right there for
a second. Do you think people actually do they do?
People repeat it in their cars or wherever they're listening. Yeah,
listen when when uh, when you listen to something every
day or every week or whatever it is, you anticipated
get the kid. Yeah, it's like many men, many many
years ago. Um the Elvis story in Morning Show used

(01:04):
to have sponsors. At the end of the show, Danielle
would read a list of sponsors and thank you's right,
and one of them was perk Roma Coffee and water Service.
So I would say I would like in my head
here hers saying it. As she's saying it, I was ready,
and we also want to thank perk Roma Coffee and
water Service. So you you get that in your head,
like you know when everyone else piece out everybody. You know,

(01:26):
people at home are go and piece out everybody because
it's it's ingrained in your head. At first, I got
scared because I thought that was more gonna be there's
gonna be technical problems up ahead. And by the way,
I fixed everything. It's well not me. You know, I'm
not very handy around the Uh. Yeah, if this is
your first episode, because we know you listen in order. Yeah,
of course your first episode. Scary has a three point

(01:48):
nine million dollar I love how price goes up every
time we talk about it. Four point two anyway, his
microphone boom arm. Last week, I was in a ship mood.
Yeah you are, And at tweets, I got some tweets
about that. Yeah, I got no no, no people people people.
Uh they wrote to me about it, and that's fine. Listen, listen.

(02:08):
At the end of the day, everybody where the thing
about us is we're not fucking frauds. We we we
wear our emotions on our sleeve. If we're having a
shitty day, we're having a crappy day. And we're entitled
to that, aren't we. I mean, we are human, right,
speaking of being fucking frauds, uh scary and I had
two big conference calls today. One was with some big

(02:30):
muckety MUCKs and one was with the uh, the gentleman
who works for the company that makes our merchandise. I'll
talk about that in a minute, but we were on
the call at the big muckety MUCKs today and they
told us that it's possible some sponsors may not want
to sponsor our podcast because of the adult content. And
we already cursed three times in the first five minutes,

(02:52):
so I could see why. I said, no, wait a minute,
do you mean the cursing or scary trying to ask
his own day? And he said kind of both, now
that you mentioned it. Haven The thing is, we can't okay,
So we're not gonna bend. Well, I may try and bend. Yeah,
you know you've known that. Yeah, but so right, we
said right away, well, we don't want those pots. That's
off the table, right. We we don't want we don't

(03:13):
want to conform to and try and like water down
the podcast. We're always going to be who we are
here for the slices you sor I'm going to change
the show and make more money. About the money, clearly,
clearly not about the money. We ain't making a dime
off this thing. But but I'll say this, last week,
I was I was bent, and I was letting it

(03:35):
show and I almost wanted so so at one point
I wanted to hit the stop button and said, you
know what, Brodie, maybe we should pick this up tomorrow.
But the thing is, I wanted, but I was so
excited to release an episode in time for Wednesday Night
because I know people are starting They've come to expect
that Wednesday Night drop that dump. You know people to
the photo dumps on on Instagram. We do the podcast

(03:56):
dump on Wednesday nights. We are putting out an episode
every week. So maybe backfired on us. Well there it did,
because because I was holding the microphone in my hand
at that point, and I know I'm not gonna go
on and on about this, but I'm just gonna say
one thing. Yeah, it affected me for the rest of
the show. And but the next day I got my
handymen up here, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
and um, they drilled a hole using their you know

(04:19):
which one of which one which is their tools? You
know what I'm saying. Yea. And they they literally made
a permanent clamp to my to my my my microphone.
So now I will not have any microphone boom problems.
All right. So I'm still here in the basement with
the folding table and the arm that I attached to it.
No problems, problems, but the kee to the basement. I

(04:42):
want you to hear something. Ready, Listen carefully. Do you
hear that? I didn't hear anything. Listen again, ready, once again,
I didn't hear anything. Okay, that was me banging on
the washing machine that isn't here anymore. It's gone. Congratulations,
thank you, it's gone. So now you just have to
deal with the floaters flying by your head because you

(05:03):
have toilet pipes going right above you. I do not
The toilet pipes are behind me and about ten feet
to the left, six feetback. They're not behind me. Brody's
in a basement and and he literally can reach up
at the pipes, and those pipes transport shit water. No,
I don't anytime someone in is there is a sectioned
off part of the basement, and we have we have

(05:24):
a wall, and around the wall in the back corner
is a pipe that leads from the top floor down
to the underneath the house. The thing is one of
your daughters takes a dump, flushes the ball, and all
of a sudden you fly above his head. My daughters
don't take dumps, They take little feminine pooss. Second of all,
you live in an apartment, Bill, I just love the

(05:45):
visual of ships. Face. No not, you know not about that.
I'm just saying, there's no there's no visual. There's no
you're fixing you know what. It's again, it's in the
back corner, behind a wall. But more importantly, you live
in a arment building. So those pipes have pooh and
them from people you don't even know, flying down your

(06:05):
walls every day. Every day you're wantin that other people.
You're down with people's poo. It's flying down You're down
with pepe. Yeah, you know scary. It's going right by
your kitchen possibly and your bathroom, because you know, not
every apartment is the same. Right the way next to
you might have the bathroom on a different wall. You

(06:27):
might have poop on your on your bathroom wall, your
living room wall. I gotta get out of there. You
got poop wall. I think about this if you're if
you're a plump what Oasis poop poop walls? That was
Oasis sugar walls. That was Easton Okay, wonder waller. Yeah, yeah,

(06:49):
So you know, um, it reminds me that I never
want to be a plumber because I feel like they
see the most ungodly, unsightly, disgusting things on a daily basis.
I know we have plumbers that are slices, but I
can imagine I would love to talk to a plumber
just to see some of that. I would imagine you
get used to it. No different than a guy. No,
I mean, no offense. I wasn't what I was saying.

(07:10):
I wasn't compared to to what I'm saying. You get
used to whatever you're seeing, that's all. Imagine you walk
into somebody's bathroom to go fix the pipes or whatever
or toilet, and you sit on the floor and it's
like piss everywhere stuff. Scott, I don't think you sit
on the floor, but yes, listen, I've been in hotels
where I clogged the toilet, I'll go use the toilet
in the lobby. I won't call anybody to the room

(07:31):
telling out because I don't want everyone to come into
the room. It depends how many days. If it's like
a day, I'll leave it with the lid down. If
it's like three days or more, then I gotta Then
I then what I do is I just go you
know it was it was clogged before. I don't know
what this is. I just haven't even used the bathroom.
I wouldn't I for the first time. It's crazy. I'll

(07:51):
do anything but take the blame for it, so you
can't you know, you know. Um on the Big Show
earlier in the week, I told every body that I
accidentally paid the wrong person in Venmo. Yeah that's some
dumb ship. Yeah it really is. UM, I didn't check.
I owed some guy thirty five dollars. My buddy Brian
Orangetein that's his name, and uh yep, common name by

(08:13):
the way, when you when you google, when you when
you could put that in Venmo? What name is not
common with Brian? Like that thing is he had as
a couple. He one name had a dash the other
name didn't be in between the first and last name.
But no picture. No, that's the thing. He isn't not
a picture. And I'm like, dude, So I paid the
wrong guy and now I've been trying to ping him

(08:33):
or call him or email him whatever. I'm like messaging, dude,
I gave you thirty five dollars. I gave you. I
gave the wrong guy. You're the wrong Brian. Now you're
ignoring me as if to do to do nothing to
see here, but it's clearly in his Venmo and I
can't get it back. He can't, by the way, a
guy who never touches his Venmo, he could be one
of those guys. Well, the contact Venmo customer service I
did this is there's nothing they can do. They could

(08:56):
pay the guy, they must have his contact. Thirty five
dollars down the drain to the wrong Brian, call a plumber. Yeah, right,
But the thing is the whole what would Brody do
doesn't apply here because you can't. It's on you. It
clearly says it like once the money is gone, it's gone,
And the same thing goes for cash, app and pay Pal.
By the way, if once you pay somebody that ship's done,

(09:17):
and and uh, well you pal can help you. I think,
all right, well then that's the exception. This was Venmo.
The thing is, what do you do though? I mean,
at some point you just got a Facebook and Twitter
and you contact every Brian Ornstein because I'm sorry, Brian
Ornstein may not be a rare name, but it's not
like John Smith. There's probably like nine on Twitter, six

(09:38):
on Facebook. Whatever. I'm sure you could reach out to
every one of them. Go hey, he's a stupid question,
but are you Brian dash or they're not going to
admit even they're gonna admit to it that that I
got the wrong guy. I don't know what it's weird.
It could be a good person. If I got the
thirty five dollars, i'd give it back. If he was
a great person, he would have sent it back already.
He has not, and he's not answering. Could be someone
who doesn't check his Venmo. I know you bet notifications

(10:01):
his notifications turned off. He's the worst possible scenarios. But whatever, anyway, listen,
keep thirty five dollars. You know that's like you know
me and celebrity? Are you celebrity names? Scary Jones on
the venmo At. Yeah, I'm Scary Jones. All right, all right?
Its what I'm asking is he maybe he's a fan.
He oh, he was a fan. He would uh he

(10:22):
give my money back. Right, you should tell him you're
famous and you'll send him a Brooklyn Boys shirt. Maybe
he's a listener of the Brooklyn Boys podcast and he
hated episode number one sixty five, so he's keeping the money. Yeah,
so what I was saying about episode six five, that's
not actually what I was talking about. We put went
on vacation a few weeks ago, and we put up
was an episode one sixty three, which is the recording

(10:42):
of us doing the stereo app. Yeah, oh I have
some email about that. Okay, we'll get to that in
a second, because what was it, Love Love Joy Beauty
whatever her name was, gave us a bad review, which
is just just like the new format. Uh So, the week
we go on vacation and we put up a podcast
that isn't really miniscent of our show, my Heart decides

(11:03):
to feature the Brooklyn Boys podcast that weekend. So we
couldn't figure out why it got like ten times the
listens of our other podcasts lovely ten seven times whatever
it was. And then we find out today, oh, you
guys were featured. What we didn't want to do was
featured that episode. So if new listeners heard that, they're like,
these guys are a train wreck, well, let me let

(11:23):
me revisit you. Let me let me give you a
little refresher because this is email right here, we'll sum
it up. This came into the slid into the Brooklyn
Boys d M. You know you can follow us on
Instagram at the Brooklyn Boys. We need more followers. Uh yeah,
I love the show. Now here comes the ship Sandwich,
no other way to say it, but the audio still sucks.

(11:44):
Hold on the still get there, Brody. Brodie needs to
be turned up sometimes a couple of notches, and Scary
sometimes need to be turned down a couple of notches.
Even it out. Now. I know Scary may not quite
know how to fully work his four point three three
million dollars system, but I'm sure after a few hours
with I T he should get it. And the last
episode that you guys posted from stereo really sucked audio wise.

(12:07):
You can actually hear Brody, but Scary and his super
air pod prose sound like utter shit, I love this.
Does anyone listen to the podcast before it gets posted?
Come on, guys, I know you want the best for
the slices. Don't let us down. Keep on with the
rants and all the funny ship. I still listen every
even while constantly having to turn the volume up and down.

(12:28):
Notice I posted it here instead of Ashley, like whoever
that gave you a one star? True slices are better
than that, all right? I just answered, what was his name? O? God?
It's symbols. It's it's me O one T O O two. Oh.
So doesn't know he doesn't have his real name there.
It's literally dots and dashes like Morse code. I don't understand. Listen,

(12:51):
Steve Morris one of my favorite titar players. Steve, I
call you Steve short for Steve Morse. Go look up
Steve Morris's amazing. Um Steve, Thanks to the great email
again and one sixty three. There's not much you can
do this this this this software that can raise the
volume of one person and lower the other. But if
the sound quality is ship and you raise it, it's

(13:11):
gonna sound worse. So you definitely do not want to
do that, right And and then of course, coming down
my pipes, show me down, down with opp So sorry
about that. But yeah, that was the featured podcast that
week on I Heart Radio for whatever you like. I
check these guys out. They sound like shit. So I'm

(13:32):
gonna say a couple of hundred thousand people listen to
that episode, A lot of people. That's not a fake number,
by the way, and uh, it must have been like
this guy suck. I wasted my time on the zoo.
So if you heard it and you're still here, thank you,
Thank you for thus. It was like put up with
less than perfect. But it's a freebee while we're on vacation,
and we thought you'd like. And by the way, here's

(13:54):
what we need you to do. Like we can we
talk about stay up for a second? We can? Yeah, okay,
stuff that, not that, not that, not that. Today we're
recording this. It is March ten two one. That's when
we're recording this. So whenever you're listening to it, God
bless you. We would like in the next week prior

(14:15):
to the March eighteen tentatively, we would like you to
download the Stereo app on all platforms whatever kind of
phone you have, create your avatar make it look like
you don't make it look like you make it look
like someone better than you, uglier than you. Whatever. Put
headphones on you put what white headphones? You know, like
white what do she headphones? Like Scary has in his avatar.

(14:36):
Get ready because we're gonna do a stereo app show
ster Ario in stereo Areo. I got a better Lavalier microphone,
so it's gonna sound much better than the last and
I have a USB microphone as well. That's yes, and
so here's why we're asked giving you a heads up.
We got the gear to do this. We have the

(14:57):
gear to make it sound better. We would like to
have you, guys submit questions and we'll answer them the
same way we did the last time. We'll find a
day to do it, maybe the Friday, maybe the Saturday.
We'll figure it out. We'll tell you the date on
episode one six of The Brooklyn Boys. Here's the thing,
here's why we'd never want to like really be in
on this. Help us out. They give prize money for

(15:18):
people who have the most listeners or in the top
ten amount of most listeners at any one moment. So
if if if if ten thousand of you all sign
onto the stereo app at the same time. Let's we
say seven o'clock, we're gonna start, and you guys get there.
We say seven you guys all sign up for seven ten,
even if you have a ten minutes to have some

(15:38):
fun with us and leave. If we get ten thousand people,
we win some money. And the reason I'm bringing this
up because of course we want money. You want us
to have money. We are on the precipice of launching
new merchandise, and so we need the money so we
can put it towards new merch merch And by the way,
when we launch a night, we're gonna we're gonna launch

(16:00):
a couple of weren't watch a few items. Yeah, we've
already designed the merchandise. We've got some hats. Oh my god,
We've we've got should we say, okay, why don't you
tease it? We got we we have some Brooklyn Boys
inside slice phrases, We've got hash We've got one shirt
is going to have as many of the slogans and

(16:22):
catchphrases we've used over the years on the front of
the shirt. So if you're a fan, you're gonna love it.
We're going to have you know what a jersey is? Scary?
You know jersey? Is it? It's a I would imagine
it's a cross between a shirt and a jersey. Right,
It's not a ship jersey. I know that We've established
no although we have a Sa Bagel talk coming up.
We're gonna talk about Sho Bagel's um. Also, some people

(16:42):
call it a jerk jersey shirt jersey shirt if you've
ever seen a sports team shirt where it looks like
a T shirt and as the team logo on the front,
but on the back it's got um a uniform name.
And by the way, we were you were your dirt
with your George because Jean shorts, I would yeah, you
know what, George have come back. Even though like people

(17:03):
we work with don't like them, I'm comfortable with him.
So I'm not a Jaggings fan, fan of the Jaggings. Uh,
we're gonna tease it. We're gonna give it out. There
will be a version of an few a seventy seven
shirts that that we designed this past week, made some tweaks.
We have a graphic designer works for our company, and

(17:23):
all of this will be available. We'll tell you when
the website Brooklyn Boys dot, Big Cartel dot com and
that's Brooklyn Boys dot Big Cartel dot com. That should
all be live hopefully by the St. Patrick's Day. Yes,

(17:44):
oh St. Patrick's Day is Wednesday. I forgot about that.
We're gonna have a big St. Patrick's Day episode. Yeah,
live from a bar. Yeah, we're not doing that that
by the way, A little little trivia for you, who
is my favorite rapper? A little trivia, A little little
it's little trivial trivia. Fool um. The first day I

(18:05):
met some of the members of the Other Star in
Morning show was at a St. Patrick's Day live broadcast.
The problem was there was a technical problem go figure
and half of the show, including Scary We're back um
heav the show was back at Master control. We had
to leave halfway through the broadcast, so I only met

(18:25):
the half that didn't need to rush back and fix
the protect. And this was a Connolly's, very famous place
in midtown Manhattan, right off the parade wrap on Fifth Avenue.
And I think the second so the second year that
you did it, I was part of the show guest.
Now one of the guests, I was stoned out of
his fucking mind, was hilarious. He was there live with us.

(18:47):
John Stewart, who, by the way, he's on Twitter now.
If you're a fan of John Stewart and his politics
and his humor, he's on Twitter. He's definitely worth a follow.
He's great. He tweets like once a week, just kind
of puts it out there when he feels something strong.
But he wasn't on Twitter for the longest time anyway.
John Stewart used to be just a very successful comic
and then he had a couple of shows on MTV
that didn't really go anywhere. But I was I was

(19:08):
always a big fan. I went to see him do
stand up. I actually went to the taping of his
second episode of his MTV show. The first episode was
Howard Stern. The second episode, I don't remember who was on,
but I went and then here he was sitting next
to me. And and Elvis and Elliott at the time
are a former co host. Elliot, by the way, from
who you may know from DC one oh one in

(19:29):
the Washington, d C. Area. You know, a lot of
people don't realize that it used to be called Elvis
and Elliott, and Elliott was on our show with us
and back in the day. Elliott left in the August.
He has been a fixture of morning radio in Washington,
d C ever since, and Richmond, Virginia and Richmond, Virginia
and one of the market there's a third market. I
don't remember. Richmond is X ninety something, but he's got

(19:51):
an X one of his Elion in the morning on
DC went on, Yeah, good man, he's why by the way,
he he basically is I'm in radio because I sent
a cassette to Zee one hundred, our home station, a demo,
and I sent it to him. I felt like he
was the person I could send it to. We had

(20:13):
similar senses of humor, and he was louder on the
show at the time. So I sent it to him,
and he's tribes. So I was like, tribe, tribe, send
it to the tribe. Sent it to Elliott Siegel. How
do we get into this sal Yeah, that's really Have
you not heard this podcast? Oh? Yeah, that's right. Anyway.
Um So Elliott got back to me and he said, uh, oh,
I got your tape. It's very funny. What do you

(20:34):
want to do? What are you looking at doing radio?
I said, truthfully, I just want to make people laugh.
Because I didn't know enough about radio to give a
really good answer. But that was the truth. I was
in a comedy group and I just yeah. And his
response to me was, that's all I want to do.
We should meet. He loved my head the perfect answer,
because that's all he wanted to make people laugh. He said, Oh,
here's what I'm gonna do. He goes, We're going to

(20:55):
Puerto Rico in a couple of days. There was a
party plane, right, so it must have been in January February.
Um and because because again I I showed up to
the h that was probably no, it was, um, I
don't know what it was. He said, anyway, we're going
away with some party plane. At the end of ninety
seven is when this was going on. We were going

(21:16):
to San Juan, uh, the San Juan Marriott in Puerto Rico. Yes, okay,
end of nineties seven. He goes, when I come back,
I'm gonna have my producer call you. That was you,
by the way, he said, Scary Jones. I'm like, that's
an odd name. And so I was working retail and
express in the Garden State Plaza mall and my my
cell phone rings and it's you. Scary Jones and he says, hey, man,

(21:39):
it's going Uh listen Elliott game you number one. Men
call you, uh and uh talk about some things, and
uh he wanted me to give you some assignments. Get
him and we'll produce them and I will pay you
if you like some whatever blah blah blah. And that's
how I started working for hundred was Elliott liked what
he heard, liked me, and he had Scary call me.
And that's why we're here today. Oh what are we

(22:01):
talking twenty four year twenty three and a half years later. Yeah,
pretty much so. And by the way, we still have
technical issues, tychnical issues. Then technical issues doesn't matter, right,
but uh yeah, So I met Elliott that day at
uh at on St. Patrick's Day. So that's always an
important day to me. I want my jets jersey so
because that's my only that was my only green shirt. Right.

(22:22):
So next so next week is it would it be
apropos to launch a well St. Patrick's Day item in
our emerg store? Maybe not? Maybe we could play some St.
Patrick's Day parodies I've written over the years. All right,
we can do we can get we get that going.
But yeah, so anyway back to the merch store for
a quick second. Yeah, so there be things. They'll be
all kinds, some catchphrases and other things. So yeah, so

(22:45):
be on the lookout for that. I don't know which.
I gotta be honest with you, I don't know which
one I liked. I said to the guy who makes
the shirts, because I liked them all so much. Um.
He had intended to like, he's a pitch pick wich.
One you like, we'll release that shirt. We liked all
of them. We made some tweaks. I gotta say, we
made a call it tweaks and sized tweaks whatever as
far as the logos. But I like them so much.
I'm I'm probably more excited than anybody because I want

(23:06):
to buy like one of each shirt because we get
them at cost. We know, we don't you know, but
we have to pay for them, um, because we pay
for the shirts. That's what we need the money. If
you listen to the the stereo app, so full Circle love
the shirts. Can't wait to wear them. I'll wear them
on the fifty minute morning Show, which I've been doing
promoting representing. But yeah, next week we'll tell you the time.
We would love for everyone to not be like, yeah,

(23:28):
maybe what we really need to support because if we
get enough listeners, we win the prize, the cash prize.
So now we have two assignments. We have the stereo
app and then we have the app and buy merch
when when when it comes out? Not yet. We're doing
a lot of teasing when you know, there's a lot
of tickling. I feel like we're tickling everyone's balls here
and we need to like, I'll dive into some things

(23:49):
that we really wanted to get to. Well, I want
to dive into. Uh, I gotta do about something. We
gotta talk about the bagel. That's big news. So us okay,
so well hold on, well hold on, that's coming up
after this. Damn it, time management. My friend the New
York Times put out an article yesterday, right see the

(24:14):
yesterday when you hear this. It was within the last
couple of days entitled the best bagels are in California,
Sorry New York. Yeah, which, by the way, obviously they
just like thirsting for for readers at that point. Now
you don't headline, but hold on, you put a selacious
headline out like that, you know you're gonna get response. Hey,

(24:36):
you don't need to be from New York to know
that is a knife in the heart. That is, that
is a slap in the face, like if you're if
you're if you offended someone from old world Italy and
they took their gloves or the French and they slapped
you across the face. The Friday was the French. Uh yeah,
the Times would punch you in my neighborhood. That's today.
That's like telling people from the Midwest they know nothing

(24:56):
about squeaky cheese. Yeah, this is like, uh, this is
like Philly cheese teake. Example, if if you if you're
from Philly and I told you that Omaha, Nebraska had
better Philly cheese steaks than Philadelphia for people in Philly,
but like or South Dakota has better lobster than main

(25:18):
that's a fight. That's a huge fight. There's not even
an ocean, and so right away, right away the headline
is picking a fight in my neighborhood. I want to
read some of the tweets people tweeted at, people posted
on the instagram. If you have a chance to go
to the ny Times instagram and it's about probably ten
posts back by now and look at the best bagel story.

(25:41):
Here's some of them who wrote this. The l A
Times grub Street wrote, delete your account. Another one New
York Times, who are you? Unfollowed a California Bagel wrote this,
I'm reporting this as a hate crime, ma'am. I live
in Texas and even I know that's wrong. Unfollowed block. No,
stop trying to make California bagels happen. It's not going

(26:03):
to happen. Insert me flipping a table and anger and
disbelief right here. This is embarrassing. Still time to delete this, sincerely,
New York resident uh checks to see if it's April first,
and this person sums it up. I'm glad Anthony Bourdain
is not alive to read this trash. Here's the thing
I'm gonna say this, and I'm just Devil's advocate for
a quick sipping. You know you need to be on

(26:23):
this podcast in the past when especially when it comes
to the subject of pizza, right, and I'm gonna I'm
gonna continue on with the hold on. Elvis put me
on the air this morning and I gave my opinion.
I should give my opinion before you give yours, because
people don't know what your opinion is. I said, it's bullshit.
There may be somebody who steals the New York recipe
and makes a bagel like a New Yorker. But to

(26:45):
say California bagels plural are better than we can hear
in your opinion, in your voice, what your opinions? Bullshit,
That's what it is. It's blasphemy. That's where avocado toast
eating break. Now that if you did you notice that
I did not come to your rescue. By the way, yeah,
did you know? Did you notice everyone on the show?

(27:05):
Yeall Froggy Gandhi Elvis all like, So I didn't come.
I did not come to your rescue because I'm true
to myself and I'm true to how I feel, and
I'm gonna take this and you're not gonna like it.
This is gonna be a better jagged little pill alanis
Salifornia bagel. This is gonna be jagged Okay, But I'm
gonna say this. Until you've tasted every bagel in the world,

(27:27):
you can't you can't make any comparisons. You can't say
that this is great. This sucks. We've talked about this
again in regards to pizza on this podcast about have
an open mind. So what if this one bagel shop
in Los Angeles makes a really superior bagel. First of all,
you haven't even tasted that bagel yet, all right, so

(27:47):
I haven't. I'm I'm damn curious. I want to know
what it tastes like. Now, they did interview the people
over there, and this is what they said. And then
you tried to correct me on the air of this morning.
But here's why that's not the case. Okay, they said,
people always say a great bagel is in the water.
And we know that the New York Brooklyn area water
that this New Jersey strike state has, well, not New Jersey,

(28:10):
but has great water. So they say, therefore the dough
is the better, is is superior? Whatever. However, they didn't
take into account the baker that baked it. Now, you
went on the air and said, well, bagels, bagels are
are putting water. They're boiled, they're boiled, but they're both
brodie there. The bagel is first boiled and then it's
coated with sometimes they coated with like an egg white

(28:31):
or something, and then they bake it. So what is
this guy has the secret sauce. What if this baker
or this dude at this Los Angeles bagel shop has
I mean, who are we? Who are we to criticize
until we've tasted it. If the article said man strikes
gold with miracle bagel, unbelievable recipe, it's what that's. Somebody

(28:53):
article said said California bagels are better than New York.
Now they're talking about a specific place. Now they mentioned
a few places in the article, a few places from
different areas in California. Oh up and comers, this family, this,
these friends, this couple, They mentioned a lot of them.
What's the name is podcast? Where we're from? And I

(29:15):
will be the first person to defend the honor of
Brooklyn and New York and this state area you're not.
But first I first need I mean, how are we
pre judging? I need to taste all these bagels first,
and then I will judge, and then I'll they'll dump
on them. But for now I can't do it. I
would like the slices, because we know our slices live

(29:37):
all over the country. Do we have any West Coast
some yes, some of them from other countries. Don't you
read the tweets? Man? People are in all Yes to
the West Coast, absolutely Fresno, checking in. Yes, we're in Oregon,
We're in Portland, We're in California, multiple cities. Here's what
I would like. Wherever you're from, you know you've got

(29:58):
something that nobody makes better than your people, than your neighborhood,
than your state. Don't tell me that. If I want
the best barbecue in America, I'm going to Delaware. No offense, Delaware.
But you're not the barbecue capital. You're going to Kansas City.
You're going to St. Louis, You're going to Carolina, You're
going to Texas. You're not going You're not going to

(30:20):
uh Maine for the best barbecue. You're not, like you said,
you're not going to North to go. There are anomalies,
there are standouts. See, this is the thing I'm trying
to help you wrap your head around. If you want
to tell me that somebody made the best chicken palm
in Montana, I'm gonna say hard to believe, but not impossible. Okay, Brodie,

(30:41):
I'll give you example. A bagel is a is a
thing like it's a it's an institute. It's coming from
New Yorker's hands and the vibe of New York and
get it, but Brodie for someone with such an open mind,
you're you're, you're, it's closed shut this time. Remember we
went to the Pizza Festival, the New York City Pizza
Festival was Where was it? It was in the Bronx
on Arthur Avenue in the Italian section of the Goring

(31:03):
up a second, Wait a second, don't spoil it. All right,
I'll kick ahead. Some of the best pizza we had
was to Way. There were two of them. One of
them was from a place in Denver that that showed up.
And what was the place from Las Vegas? A Las Vegas?
Remember the Las Vegas pizza. We we were like, yeah,
you gotta believe it were good. We had to go
up and said, wait a second. Your sign says you

(31:24):
guys are from Las Vegas and you're here this weekend
fishing out this pizza, which crew Mary. But here's the thing.
They weren't regular pizza. The pizza from Denver was catch Peppy,
which which is salt and pepper. Right, it was salt
and pepper pizza. It had a unique taste, was very good.
But if I scare a gun to your head, was
it better than Defarre's, which was also there, right, So

(31:45):
go after yourself. That's my point. But what I'm saying
is until he was great pizza, nobody's better than Defarre's
for Sicilian oil and B's until we tasted these bagels,
I can't make a judgment. I can't do it, all right,
Somebody with money has to fly us out there when
I feel comfortable down playing. I mean, look at all
the people that come to the rescue of this Casey's
gas Station pizza from Iowa that talks about they say

(32:07):
it's very good, but better than than New York pizza. Well,
then to them, I fault Here's how I fault them
that have they tasted New York pizza in order to
make that call. The it works both ways. You need
to have you need to have tasted all of it,
all right, I think we're beating this dead horse, all right.
Um you guys listeners Slices Babes Babes, slices pals. Yeah,

(32:36):
you guys remember episode I remember the number forty fifty
sixty something seventy something. Uh, Scary fell asleep on the
phone with me and I recorded him and I played
back the snoring sounds on the podcast and on Elvia
straight in the morning show. Yeah. So we're on the

(32:57):
phone today with the I from the merchandise company, right,
you know, you know what I'm gonna say, you already know.
And we want a three way call. And he's talking about,
you know, getting this and don't when you guys get
the money, we're gonna do this and that another thing.
And we're on the phone for about twenty minutes. I'm
in the car. Scary is in his house. I gotta

(33:20):
be honest, it was. It was a ninety minute phone call.
It was long. Whatever it was, it was a long call.
And uh, so his name is Matt. Matt's talking and
he's going on about you know, how many shirts will
need to order and sizes and different things and and
uh a couple of times I said, are you cool
with that? Scary didn't say anything. So then I hear

(33:45):
so so I said so, So Matt says, what do
you think Scary and Scaries? Oh yeah, I'm on board.
Yeah absolutely, Yeah. So I knew what had happened. I
don't know if Matt caught it, but I heard the
snoring while Matt was talking. I think he was able
to listen to the snore, but he's hearing it right
now on this podcast. Yeah, because he's a he's a
Fannie listens. Well, here's the thing, and he did it.

(34:07):
He did it three times. Yeah. Well it was a
ninety minute phone call. But the man is interesting. We
were having a money conversation. I know he was interested. Well,
Prody perks up his ears, perk up money because it
was coasting. We had to talk about how much money
we're gonna But in all fairness, Brodie Brody works from
his basement all morning. I get up at five o'clock

(34:28):
in the morning to get to the radio station. Okay,
that's great, but you go back to bed as soon
as we record the fifteen minute morning show. No, but
every morning you take your nap. I don't get to
do that. I go straight through. So if I'm like
laying down, this is why bad. It's bad for me
to do three four o'clock. Three four o'clock is my
twilight time. That's my like. That's by the way, thank you.

(34:50):
Platter's Uh, that was a bad It's a group in
the fifties. They sent twice. I got it three, So
three or four in the afternoon is bad for me
to have meetings it's terrible, except except we had two
phone calls today. The first one was at two forty
to thirty something. We went straight through Brodie and guess
what are you doing? What were you doing from ten
o'clock to to thirty I was trying to ask my

(35:11):
own d right, No, you know what I'm trying to do.
I mean I nap. You didn't nap, That's what you
were trying to do. Get a nap. I was supposed to.
I was supposed to go White Chair. Do you really
want to know? He was supposed to do a call today.
I was supposed to, and I was. I was supposed
to be interviewed by Andy Cohen on What's watch What
Happens Live, which, by the way, I find fascinating because

(35:33):
because what happened we'll watch What Happens Live is usually
at night. Uh So I'm like, wait a second, live,
it's not life. They were gonna record something in the afternoon. Now.
I was supposed to go on Skype because I'm hosting
another this is something else I'm doing. See, Broady had
a lot of things going on in my world. So
we take this weeks ago, you fell asleep today. The
point is no I was waiting for that phone call.

(35:54):
I had other things going on that never happened. By
the way, anyway, right, the point is three four in
the afternoon is for me, buddy, it really is. Okay, So,
do you fall asleep on an important phone call? Because
when it goes ninety minutes? I have to you know,
because I'm on board with everything. Snore. People don't usually
snore the split second they fall asleep, which means you

(36:16):
were sleeping at least a minute before the snoring started.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, absolutely, yeah, hats, we should have hats. Yeah,
it's a good thing. You weren't like having sex in
your dream or anything. You're like, oh, yeah, we should
definitely have breasts. Yeah, all right, but listen, you know

(36:37):
that that happens often. Yes, that happens. I've fallen asleep
on phone calls before. You have You haven't fallen asleep
on a podcast? Maybe something maybe I haven't mentioned. Maybe
I have a touch of the narc elepsy. What do
you think? You know what I think? So? By the way,
speaking of ecclepsy, uh, I did a phone tap? I
know we have it somewhere. An eccleptic phone happen. Do

(37:00):
you have that. It aired in I'm thinking of it.
Air it again. The premise was I called a florist
and I said, listen, I just want to let you know,
by the way, if you're no ecalyptic, I'm sorry. Twenty
one years ago I made fun of being an ecalyptic.
I'm sorry, so forgive me. It was back then it
was okay. You also made fun of pyromaniacs. I did,

(37:22):
but that's okay. I'm I'm fine making By the way,
can we replay the pyromaniac one where I don't I
don't think it's gonna burn his hotel down, his apartment,
whatever it was, So then we can't play Oh my god. Yeah,
I've never seen the time to change. We'll never see
the light again. So the norcalyptic phone tap, I said, listen,
I want to order flowers for my girl or my wife,

(37:44):
whatever it was. But I just want to warn you
I have norcalepsy and I sometimes I just fall asleep
out of nowhere. To me a favor, just yell my
name and wake me up. Please. I'll give you a tip.
You know, I'll buy a lot of flowers. I just
want to prepare you. So if you don't hear me,
just yell my name. So every time we got like

(38:05):
a minute into the car and I would like pass out.
And then a couple of times like I threw the
chair over, I flipped the table. It's like what sorry,
where were we? And the guy was like, he's like Steve, Steve,
I can't Yeah anyway, So to wrap that up, I

(38:26):
just four o'clock in the afternoon. It's not I I
can't do long meetings. I have to you know, I
need to take my quick new Hey. By the way,
we have two sound clips and we were talking about
Iowa pizza and these say Iowa Pizza on them. Should
we play these sounds? Okay? So I mean we don't
have a whole lot of sound. We just have that
I got a whole lot of sound. All this is

(38:47):
thank you. This was two clips from Jimmy Fallon this week.
The first one is to set up to the joke.
The second one is the punchline. We did this story
on the Elvis Durand show. But let's have Jimmy tell
you about it, and then I want everyone's opinion on
whether would eat this pizza. Play the first clip, and
finally a restaurant in Des Moines, Iowa has come up
with a new type of pizza. What's it? And Iowa

(39:08):
Pizza Rea has decided to put cereal on their pie.
It's their looting fruit pizza breakfast pie talked with cream, cheese, mozzarella, cheese, vanilla,
icy and fruit loops. Can I see that just again?
That's what? Yeah? See, I'm just worried that this will

(39:29):
ruin the great reputation of Iowa Pizza. Did you just
play the second clip? No, that's the whole thing. Oh,
I'll play the second clip. I thought there was more
of more of a punchline there, so he made a
joke about it. I'm just worried that this will ruin
the great reputation of Iowa Pizza. Yeah. I wanted it isolated.
So even Jimmy is making fun of Iowa Pizza. No

(39:51):
offense Iowa. I happened to be a fan of Des Moines. Um,
I just it's just what we were talking about pizza.
Let me get a little granular on at uh that.
The place that you're talking about is called Fong's Pizza,
which I've been to several times because we are in
town for the fair. Almost every other year. Um, it
doesn't sound very Italian. It's not. It's it's actually, uh,

(40:15):
it's the coolest. It's a cool lou l o O.
Look up the word lou bathroom. It's no, it's a
cool lue. It's lou means more than that. So Fong's
Pizza is one of those late night cool spots. They've
got great vibes. You know, I wear my Brooklyn industrial
to them, but they serve pizza. They have a liquor license.

(40:39):
It is the coolest fucking, funky ass place in the Moine.
If you're listening from the wine you know, you know
what you and after the bars you go there. But
even during dinner time. It's a huge place and it
reminds me of like an old Chinese restaurant from Brooklyn,
but it's pizza it and they do so many cool things.

(40:59):
They kind of clash everything. Their their pizzas are the
regular pizza is phenomenal. Never had this this one here,
the one that they're talking about with the fruit loops.
But they're known for doing outrageous things. Brodie So by
the way, no no connection to Casey's gas Station Pizza
also in Iowa. Um, but yes, Fong's Pizza is amazing,
and Elvis is my witness. He's been there. We've a

(41:20):
bunch of us have been there. Okay, so yeah it's
a good spot. All right, that's fine. I just want
to let you know, Jimmy Fallon, I was talking about
Iowa pizza, uh, and we reference what happened. We were
talking about you being in a bad mood. I had
a couple of tweets, so real quick, real quick, Andrew
at A. K. Beachard at David Brodie, you're not speaking jibberrush.

(41:42):
I completely understood your conversation with Scary Jones about frankinsence
and mr uh. David Cito wrote his fourteen point six
million dollar equipment took a crap well at the ki Con.
It looks like Ken Coon, but it's uh c A
c U n at the Brooklyn Boys. If today this
episode had an avatar, it would be Scary Jones white

(42:02):
chair with the fallen mike in the background. I just
googled boogie white chair and they send this picture of
a boogie white chair that he thinks that's what it
looked like. So I love people playing along. Um oh,
Joe Baccalaw Joey Back says Brodie, I followed what you
were saying. I'd bring diapers, formula or savings bond. Scary

(42:25):
g with it. It was a good bit and you
ruined it. Uh a white Austin Underscore White Underscore two.
We were talking about, um, everything in your house is
white and uh so he wrote, thanks. Oh I we
shouted him out and he said thanks for the shout
out on episode one. My last name is white, but

(42:47):
I'm not sure I would work in Scary's motif hashtag.
My man, what a great tweet. I love It's a
great tweet. Now, John Melendez wrote to us. You could
email us at the Brook Boys Podcast at gmail dot com.
It's episode one has me stressed. Listen to this what

(43:07):
up Broken Boys, Scary fucking Jones. You are my boy.
I always say take your side, You're my boy. I
always take your side, But forty minutes in to one,
I wanted to kick your ass. After the commercial break,
you guys turned it around though. By the way, I
emailed about sponsoring an episode. Hit me up my ninjas, Scary.

(43:29):
I love you, bro, but I'm jumping on team Brody
for now. Let's talk soon. Going to make some espresso
on my Delongi while I wait for my Sloman's guy
to show up to install my alarm system. Piece hashtag
fuck you a S seven that's from DJ bring it okay,
hippie mom who is k R S can turn um?

(43:52):
She tweeted what uh what was it? It was a
little awkward? She said, I can always tell when Scary
Jones is having a bad day. Like, dude, we're all
always following along with David Brody. It's always you who
is the only one who doesn't get it. I love
your dude, but you are are you new here? L
O L has take Scary sass um and then uh
Reggie snoop. Pettypog wrote, because which I told you about.

(44:15):
Sometimes Family Feud clearly wants the people to win. He said,
I was watching Family Feud yesterday. One of the questions
for fast money was name a color in the traffic light,
and another one was name an ocean? Are you kidding me? Like?
You gotta say, of course, of course you're gonna win
the big money. They always they always do that on

(44:37):
Family Feud. Yeah. Well if they don't do it, you
know you're screwed. You know, they're like name a river
in in in Africa. You're like, what do you want
to help somebody with free dessert? Somebody needs our help.
There's got a lot of free dessert stories. I was
going to read you one I got just today. Now,
this is a person with a problem. She's she's a
fellow Bensonhurst, Brooklyn Knight, Rebecca Chan. Okay, she's writing to

(45:02):
you because hotels dot Com is taking advantage of us
and it's not okay. My husband and I desperately need
the advice of you, uh of the customer service wrangler
they call you m Last April, my brother and his
fiancee had to postpone their wedding because of COVID. We
ended up canceling our hotel reservation that was booked through

(45:23):
hotels dot Com. Got a voucher. We're trying to rebook
again this year, but they're not allowing us to use
our full voucher amount. Instead, they're charging us taxes and
fees again, even though our voucher amount more than covers
our hotel room costs. This means they're trying to charge
us twice for the same damn thing. This is criminal
and we're at out wits end. Trying to figure out

(45:44):
how to correct this. We reached out to customer service,
tried to contact corporate, the hotel itself, no luck, and
our credit card company. Nobody wants to get their hands dirty,
and we wish nothing but diarrhea on them, which is
what we do on the Big Show. Um, please, any
any piece of advice. She even leaves her phone number two. Um,

(46:05):
by the way, that is that is absolute fucking bull shit. No,
I'm sorry, that wasn't by the way for the email.
That was just picking on scary of course because I
fell asleep during the phone call. Right. Um, it is
an absolute it is absolute bullshit. You cannot let them
get away with this. This is a pandemic. These aren't
regular times we're living in and they sure as fuck

(46:28):
should not be charging you double. The fact that you're
being charged again, Hotels dot com should be giving her
a credit. Yeah, the hotel should lower their price fifteen
dollars for the night to cover whatever taxes and fees
you have to pay. Again, but that's even is not
even though? So they they She now needs to go
in on Hotels corporate. Yeah, she needs to call hotel,

(46:49):
she says, you called corporate somebody. Well, they didn't get
she got nowhere with it. Well, you gotta first of all,
you gotta fry them on social media because ultimately someone's
gonna say, d M, that's the problem, and they're gonna
try to help you. Because nobody wants to get fried
on social media. It's a bad look, especially during the pandemic.
Make sure your tweet has the word pandemic in it, um,
and make sure you tweet at hotels as well. This

(47:10):
is a situation where you want to see see them. Yeah,
you you want, but don't. Yeah, but don't speaking of
ce seeing, um, don't tag me necessarily when you guys
are complaining about a company, A couple of guys like,
oh goddamn you such and such Airlines at David Brody
at Airlines. Um, you can tell me the problem. But

(47:30):
I feel like I'm gon a disadvantage when I'm already
on the tweet, so I gotta be careful. Just god forbid,
they're a sponsor of ours. I don't want to get
in trouble, so just you know, tweet tweet me separately, okay, anyway, Uh,
I would not rest a minute. You're absolutely right. Don't
let people take advantage of you, especially during a pandemic,
call anyone. You have to keep calling till one of

(47:52):
the operators is sympathetic. Right, there's not just one person
answering the phone. Someone will answer the phone who had
the same problem in their real life and is going
to help you. Um translation, somebody with a brain will
finally come to the phone and may make a few tries.
Keep keep track how many phone calls you made, because
that's how much money you're gonna want for your inconvenience.
You have to make six phone calls to get someone

(48:13):
to help me because they charged me twice. The pandemic
is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You
shouldn't be out of any money. That's their problem. Now,
if you're listening saying well companies are struggling, I absolutely
get that, but if they want continued business, they got
to do right by their clientele. They can't just shoot
on people and go, well, it's a pandemic. Businesses bands,
so we're gonna shoot on you. You You can't shoot on people.

(48:36):
You can't. I mean you can't. That's what you're into,
but you can't do that as a business. So that's
my suggestion. And I my style on And the reason
why I email um I actually read that one is
because well, first of all, that one encompasses about fifty
others that we've received, all similar you know where they
are being fucked out of money and do due to
the pandemic, do the same thing. Everyone listening that that

(48:58):
email with that type of thing, you are in the right.
Just know that you will get the right person on
the phone. Okay, So Raina sent me a d M
yesterday scary yesterday. She's ray ari Y Ray of sun
dot Shine on Instagram. She said, okay, Brody, I need
your expertise. Oh first hashtag grodin scary. So she had

(49:19):
my attention right away. Good. How much free dessert should
I get here? I paid twelve ninety nine a month
for Walmart Plus to get my groceries delivered. I ordered
my stuff to be delivered between eight and nine am
and around I'm sorry, I ordered my stuff to be
delivered at eight eight to nine am to have a delivered.
Around ten thirty, I get a text that my groceries
have been delivered. They warrant. I called customer service and

(49:40):
they said they would get it delivered within four hours.
Four hours later, I get a call from my local
Walmart asking how my experience was. I said, well, my
groceries have not been delivered. The guy I spoke to said, oh, okay,
that must be the car that is sitting here with
your groceries. We will try to get a driver out
there as a p NO. I said, well, since I'm

(50:01):
already on the road, um nearby, I'll pick them up
pick up as a free service. They brought my stuff
out to my car. What do so? I said, So
I said, first, all of all, thank you for putting
my name first. I would ask for two months credit
at least, because they did not provide the service you
pay for and you picked it up yourself. It was

(50:23):
a huge inconvenience. You wait at home all day and
wasting your day has value, and they never showed up.
You didn't get to cook dinner because your groceries weren't
there until much later in the day. Huge inconvenience. They
need to keep you as a customer. I would say
fifty credit or a couple of months, whichever you prefer,
or something along those lines. She hit me up today,

(50:44):
I'm getting a hundred dollar gift card and they waved subscription. Good,
so good for you, Raina. You took the advice of
the customer service Wrangler. Yeah, c s W. C s W.
That's my shoe warehouse. That's right. Oh, that's DSW. Yeah exactly. So,

(51:05):
uh it pays to listen to Brody. You got a
hundred dollars and a credit. So good on you, as
they say, um, yeah, So I do I know you
want to take a commercial break in a minute. You
do want to talk about a Reese's travesty going on?
And I want to know this one. And I want
to talk about the three things that happened to me

(51:27):
in home Depot in the past two days. So and
I have a couple of things that I want to
get off my chest too, all that Italian hair. Ah yeah, Okay,
you want to talk about the reese'st thing. When I
get some of some of your chest, I'd love to
hear you. Okay, just just uh all right, I'm looking

(51:51):
all right, I'm gonna see this other thing for next week.
So a lot of Megan Markle and Prince Harry have
been in the news a lot lately. But you didn't
notice that, Brody, You don't come on now it's been.
It's been at the top and the bottom of every headline,
it's been everywhere. Now the thing is, you can't get

(52:13):
away from this story. And obviously do we have to
even re rehash what's going on? No, but you you
are not a fan, and all right, I think we
just move right to the point. Okay, Um, every day
a new wrinkle comes out, like, for instance today, like
the Piers Morgan, the British host yesterday, yesterday whatever, right, exactly,
But the point is every day it's something. When when

(52:35):
is Buckingham Palace gonna gonna Respond's gonna say? And by
the way, you know, like a pier with a boat
docs put an S on the end of that, that's
his name, Piers, Piers, Piers Piers. So anyway, I can't
be the only one that, for lack of a better terms,
just is bored by the royals, just uninterested, like tunes

(52:58):
out Like every time I hear anything about the royal family,
the Queen, the prince, I just shut down and I
don't and I don't know why. I want to like it.
I want to be able to participate, because I mean,
obviously we are we consume pop culture, don't we this
is what we do. Our job is to report on it.
Our job is to have opinions on these things. But but
but when it comes to but I'm not a hater.

(53:20):
I'm not a hater. I'm not a borderline in this case.
But here's why I don't understand. Here's why I don't
see what the point They are Americans? Why do I
have to listen? No, And I pointed out one of
them is no, no no, no, no. The point is this
is the royals family, and the Royal family drama is
stuff that's going on overseas. I understand. Megan is American.

(53:43):
They they live in California. Now I get that they left,
but that was a big story when they left. They're like,
oh my god, they're dude. It's it's it's it's it's
ten thousand years of tradition or whatever. That's the thing
these people are. First of all, they're not They're not
in any real power. Everything that they have is all

(54:04):
it's all majestic and fairy tale. It's and it's all theoretical.
They're not political leaders. They don't have anything to do
with theoretical. They are what they are. They're just not political.
They are all it is is just a year fairy
tale that continues to exist. And I understand it's an
old tradition, it's a ritual, but it's not if they're

(54:25):
not again, I don't know. I can't relate. Why do
we so? Why do we find it's so fascinating? Is
my question? That's so why do as Americans? And hold
on before you answer. I know there are some slices
out there, like are you kidding me? I hang on
every word. Anytime someone gets married, anytime they have a baby,
any of the series related to them on Netflix, I
gotta watch it and I get down. The Crown is huge, right,

(54:48):
I know, it was like the number two show on Netflix.
This past was number one and all this other ship right, Okay, great,
but why is it so possible? I'll tell you what. Okay,
I'll calm down now. Okay. First of all, I still
find the Royal family. Although I'm not a fan, I
still find it more interesting than horror scopes and the Kardashians.

(55:11):
So are you talking about you know, you're talking about
as it relates to talking about it in the big show.
I'm just talking about it, just talking about like things
I don't understand why people care. I don't understand horrorscopes
in general. Anyone believes that people fake makeup stuff for
the newspapers. It's all made up and people can't leave
their house without it. I don't. That's for me, Like,
I don't get it. So the same way you don't
get their all family, I don't get her scopes. I

(55:32):
also don't get the Kardashians. We're gonna find this all
this stuff out here under unpopular opinions, right because because
a lot of people like the Kardashians. Yea, you know, no,
but when you know, in the eighties, there was a
show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous where they
would show Robin Litch life style lifestyle. They would show
people's mansions, and it was back when like there was

(55:52):
just just opulence and gordiness of the eighties and everything.
Everyone's houses look like Trump's New York apartment, gold everywhere, mirrors,
exotic yachts, all kinds of craziness, and celebrities had no
problems showing the just ridiculous lives they had, right, So
people like the escapism of watching good looking, famous, rich

(56:16):
people live it's and look, I'm not saying men don't
like it, but women, for instance, You know, people love
Disney princesses. They love the Disney it's escape. It's looking
at a princess and thinking I could be treated that way.
Now I'm not. Again, women like to be treated differently.
They don't and saved their lives. I get that. But

(56:37):
there is a little bit of a fantasy of being
a queen or a princess, like being treated like that
for some people. And so the royal family, although we
it took a war for us to get away from them,
it's got our own country. People like the pomp and circumstance. Uh.
They love Diana, who is this non famous girl who

(56:59):
stepped into the like Cinderella's story, Right, But but then
did you hear all the stories that around her within
the documentary and stuff behind the scenes. Who who she
really was? They made her out to be a witch. Yeah,
but that's because she made them out to be difficult because, uh,
she wasn't accepted, she wasn't royalty that they weren't happy
that that prince, which, by the way, even more so

(57:21):
I hate them because they they're prejudiced. They don't want
to let people into their little bubble there, a little circle.
They know, because they don't want to ruin a good thing.
The government gives them millions of dollars to live like
kings and queens, so they do. They don't want to
ruin it. They're not gonna. It's like them permission to
be biggots. And you know, in this most recent story,
no one gave them permission to be biggots. I'm not

(57:43):
defending biggot trade. No one knows who said that. But
you can certainly understand the culture, not must stand excusing it.
You can understand that these are people who are basically
inbred for centuries. The ring their well, they marry their cousins,
their distant husins. It's all royalty. Marries royalty. Usually their

(58:03):
blood doesn't clot they don't. They don't often marry a
half black American woman who you know, who is an actress.
That's not a normal the norm. That's not the norm
for them. So if you grew up in that life,
in that world and listen, it's no different than in America.
You don't think they're Italian families who when the sun
brings home a Jewish girl, they're not like, what the
fuck and by the way, I know Jewish religion. There

(58:26):
are so many parallels in real life and now they're
and they're going through all this stress. And it's how
many little girls black and white looked up to Megan
Markel and said, look, I can, I can look as
she's a princess, watch her. Can you imagine having a
U can show you the world from a black family
and as part of the royalty of England, that's a

(58:49):
big deal, right. So, and Harry is Harry was always
like the relatable one. He was the hot one. Well, no,
his brother was the hot one until he wasn't. Um.
His brother was William, right, William William was. It was
like the good looking guy until he wasn't and then
Harry got hot, but William was hot first. Anyway, the

(59:11):
point is they live in this world, right But is
it any different than watching football players who get a
hundred million dollars, you know, for for a two year
contract and and live at these these hundred million dollar mansions.
And we have that here. We have we have in
the Kardashians are American royalty. As sickening as that is
to some people, they are a rich, opulent um right

(59:34):
fell into it. Uh family. People like to see what
they do, They want to see how they live. The
larger question is why has America slipped into such escapism
and that where they want to fantasize about these things,
and and and it's the King and Queen, it's the princess.
How many movies are about princesses? Listen, American royalty is Hollywood.

(59:58):
That's our royalty for a lot of people. For me,
For me, I just I'm not into it, and and
and and it's okay that I'm not. It's and I'm
sure some people agree with me, but apparently not everybody,
and not not even the majority, because I feel like
it's it's just right now. It's popular. Interview was was
was like a blockbuster people watch that. You have to

(01:00:20):
remember the thousands of years there's been a monarchy. You'd
get your head cut off of saying the things they
said in that interview, I know, off with your head right.
Princess die, wouldn't you know? Ran from the media. She
died trying to get away from the media. And now
you've got a couple that lives in California, gave up
their their world, gave up I guess they gave up

(01:00:42):
their they're they're pomp and circumstance. There a lot of
their money, their castle, they gave up everything to come
live in California. I guess they heard of the bagels
being so good, but they had come to California. I
just I guess I just want it. I guess I
want I want the slices to tell us what do
you feel about? How do you feel about the Royals?
Are you into it and you're not? You know what

(01:01:02):
I would say? Half the people, let's say after damn,
I don't care watched when she got married or they
watched the wedding guaranteed. Yeah, all right, Okay, listen, this
isn't This is not a rancome on stage coaches. It's
more of me trying to understand. I really want to
I just want to underscape why as popular, That's all

(01:01:22):
I'm not. We're in a We're in a pandemic across
the world, and you think Tiger King would have been
as successful as it was if it didn't come out
at the beginning of a pandemic. So the world right
now is a bit aft up, and so this this
is like, this is a young woman believe it or not.
You know um who is speaking out against racism, and

(01:01:45):
and uh well I credit her for that. I mean,
God bless her. That's that I like. But how bad
is it when Harry gives up by the way, Harry,
Harry got screwed because of the way they do the
whole next in line, for the for the, for the,
for the throne. Right. First of all, Queen Elizabeth may
live forever, so Prince Charles actually may die before she

(01:02:06):
does and never get to be king. So William is
the firstborn. Right if if William dies when he has
no kids, Harry could be king. But what happens is
William the older brother, his kids move ahead of of
of Harry in the pecking order. Why because he was
born first, Because they're born to the firstborn. So every

(01:02:29):
time William has a kid, Harry moves down another notch
away from being the king. So I'm wondering, as bad
as his life has been, right, would you have walked
away if he was the older brother? In other words,
if he had a chance of being third in line
to the to being king and his kids would be

(01:02:49):
kings and queens. Right, thank you? Thirty seconds to Mars
um a Max as well. Um. You know, I have
to wonder if he'd step away. He's got really no
chance unless God William's family goes down in a plane
crash and they all die. Harry is really not going

(01:03:11):
to be king. He's not. So he's like, you know what,
when I got to lose, I'm gonna I'm gonna leave here,
go to l A and make millions of dollars with Yes.
So he basically I walked away from Prince Ship, which
is still good. You're living that little frog frog town
whatever they call. We've already spent too much looked at this.
We find ourselves talking about it. Yes, I have so

(01:03:32):
many rants. Let's get off this topic. Please? How do
we get here? All right? Can we talk about Reese's Yes, please,
I don't have the audio ready of the of the
guy ranting about Reese's peanut butter cups. But this is this,
this is me ranting. This is being launched any day now.
By the time you hear this, it may already be
out now. Reese's Peanut butter Cups. Who doesn't lie the way?

(01:03:52):
One of my favorite, it's everybody's favorites, the number one
candy on Halloween. It's it's not everyone's favorite. I know
you guys hate it. I know, but most people love
or good rees peanut butter cup. Right, so remember they
remember the original commercials, you got your chocolate, my peanut
butter you have my peanut butter chocolate. It was Yeah,
it was a guy with a walkman on and he
was like roller skating or taste that tastes great together,
right it was? And then all of a sudden, it

(01:04:14):
was very very very sexual if you think about it,
because he's walking with the chocolate and then all of
a sudden, she's got the peanut butter and then he
jammed the chocolate in the whoa, they run into each
other on the street and the chocolate ends up in
her peanut butter cup. What I'm saying, yeah, So you
know how TV shows when they get run out of
ideas or they want to expand they have a kid,
they have a girlfriend, they add cast members. It's no

(01:04:35):
different than food. You make varieties. So Reese's peanut butter cup,
they came out with dark chocolate peanut butter cup. They
came out with white chocolate peanut butter cup. They came
out with peanut butter Lover's peanut butter cup with peanut
butter before you can come hold on, they have Rees's
peanut butter cups with Reese's pieces. Reese's pieces. When you
think about the cup, the cup is chocolate and then

(01:04:57):
the peanut butter makes it the peanut butter cup. Correct,
just just gone overboard. Grammatically it's correct, but you gotta
be kidding me. They are releasing a peanut butter cup
without chocolate. It is a cup of peanut butter, granted
with peanut butter in it. Now, I know it's hard

(01:05:19):
peanut butter on the outside and it's peanut butter inside
soft peanut butter. But wouldn't just but it's two types
of peanut butter. So yes, it is technically a peanut
butter cup by definition. But come on, now, you only
have two ingredients. You've tried changing one of the ingredients.
You've tried shoving more stuff in the ingredients. Now you're

(01:05:39):
removed and ingredient. You're down to one ingredient. It's two
different types of but I will buy it because I'm
a huge fan of peanut butter. So peanut peanut butter
on peanut butter is amazing. I'll eat it. That's like
buying cheese pomejan or cheese conquests. So it's peanut butter

(01:05:59):
with peanut water in it. Now, look, I'm gonna eat it.
Don't get me wrong. I just feel like I feel
like it's just something not right about it. See, they
should do a Reese's peanut Butter and jelly cup where
they make the peanut butter the cup on the outside,
and then the jelly in the middle. Yes, you've wanted that.
I've been wanting that for years. So Reese's peanut butter
and jelly cup, and which, by the way, sounds so

(01:06:20):
great too. Great taste that go great together. I you
got your peanut butter and my jelly. You got your jelly,
my peanut butter. Why have they not done this because
you can just buy Goober? What the fuck is Goober? Okay,
google Goober right now, unless you're talking about the character
from Fraggle Rock. No, No, that's Gobol, isn't it Gebel?
No that's a German it was Goober. But anyway, No,

(01:06:42):
it's go It's it's Gober. It's hold on frag I
gotta certain it's people are screaming at their first of all,
is it I'm pretty sure it was Goober. I thought
it was gorgon Gobo. It's Gobow. I told you, what
are you thinking of? I'm thinking of Goober. I'm thinking
of raisinets and Goober's. Okay, I want you to look

(01:07:03):
up goober. Goober. Okay, goober candy, No, just goober, A
jar of goober? Okay, whatever, smuckers, Yeah, you have it.
Oh it's chocolate. It's peanut butter and jelly, yes, in
the same jar, stripes. Okay, all right, now it's basically

(01:07:24):
what you want but already had. All right, So so then,
how what do we do here? We was a letter
writing campaign? Are we calling the manager? Karen? What are
we doing here? How are we going to get rid of? Listen,
They're gonna do what they're gonna do. It's well marketed.
The peanut butter, the chocolate peanut, the chocolates, peanut butter
cup is is upon us, and I can't wait to
have it. All right, I got one more thing I

(01:07:46):
want to talk about. You got some much wanta talking about?
I got a quick I I do. I wanted to
go into the I wanted to go into the n
f T crypto content. Do that next year. Well, we'll
do it. You're gonna fall sleep on me, all right,
next week? Not next week, We'll do that next week, right, continue,
go ahead. I want to just tell a quick story
about the post office and we can got here. We
could be done. We got you gotta go. Okay. So

(01:08:06):
I'm selling things on eBay, as I always do, and
one of the things I'm selling is a it's a
flat let's just say it's a bump of sticker. Okay,
it's a it's a bumpus. I'm selling a bump of sticker.
It doesn't matter what it is. I'm not looking to
promote it here. But you know you can. You can
put it in a in a box, but that seems hard.
You can put it in an envelope with cardboard right

(01:08:29):
to keep it straight, like a bigger envelope. But I
realized the sticker fits perfectly in a regular old I
think it's a number ten envelope, like a white regular envelope.
Those are the number ten's right. And so although I
charged I think I don't know to fifty for shipping,
because that's what the that's what eBay said the charge. Okay.
I'm like, oh, if I could put a stamp or

(01:08:50):
two on here, I'll save some money. So I I
cut up of a thin cardboard box and I put
h cut it to the size of the envelope, a
little bawler. I put the sticker in between. I seal
the envelope. I put tape on it to keep it shut.
And now I've got a secure bumper sticker in the
cardboard in the envelope. Now I'm like, I'm making some

(01:09:12):
money on the shipping. This is great. Yeah. I go
to the post office, uh two weeks ago, and the
woman says, it's cents. I said, great, I have some stamps.
I put the cents on. Done, Okay, sounds great. I
sell a second sticker because I have a few of them.
I go back to the post office and I said, hey,
can you just tell me how much this is? Because

(01:09:33):
I want to I have the stamps. I just want
to confirm because I what he did was I trimmed
some of the cardboard. I didn't need a little less cardboard.
So I think it maybe get like eighty cents at
nine five whatever, because I've got a five cents stamps.
Continue well, I don't know the amount, so I wanted
to get the exact amount. So she says, this is
kind of stiff. It's stiff. Wait a second, you don't

(01:09:57):
get you don't get charged on stiffness. She get charged
on if I did. Hello. Okay, Well, so I said,
I don't know what that means. So she hands it
to the guy to her left, my right, and he's
looking at it and he starts bending it like like
you know, like like bending it like up and down,
up and down like you know, back right. So I go,

(01:10:18):
excuse me, please don't bend it. Right, he says, I
have to. I have to see if it's gonna go
through the machine. Said, he starts bending it again, excuse me,
please don't bend that. And I get like that just
like loud. He says, I have to see if it
goes through the machine. That's where he sucks you by
the way and charges you triple because you don't have

(01:10:38):
to care about that. So I said, don't bend my envelope, sir.
He says, well, it's not going through the machine if
I can't see if it bends, I said, then that's fine.
I won't put it through the machine. Then I'll put
it in a box if I have to. But it's fragile.
That's why this cardboard in it. He says, Hey, man, relax,

(01:11:03):
I said, I was relaxed the first two times. I said, please,
don't bend it, and your answer was I have to
bend it, as if you had some kind of o
c ding you had to bend everything. So then the
woman says, I'm sorry, sir, just calmed down. And then
the guy at the counter, who was waiting for that
guy to help him, turns to the guy and says

(01:11:23):
he shouldn't relax. You shouldn't bend his ship. He said
that he defended you. He defended me, yeah, the guy.
So the guy says, here's your envelope. What do you
want to do with it. I said, I'm gonna repackage it.
Thank you for your time, have a nice day, sir,
and I walked out. But the guy was like, the

(01:11:44):
guy stuck up for me. He's like, that's kind of cool.
Actually yeah, he's like, you shouldn't have to relax. Don't
bend his ship. By the way, you know, they were
going to destroy your ship and it wasn't gonna get
to where it needed to get if you went back.
So I did was I put a thinner cardboard in it.
I mailed it somewhere else, as you should have. I
would have been the same thing at that point, right,
I'm not going there. I know a thing too. Yeah,

(01:12:05):
you know why, you know what they would do it.
I know from the street swag because I'm from Brooklyn,
DA Boys from Brooklyn, Brooklyn Boys Brock Brooklyn