#195: Brody's Drinking & Skeery's Saving Money...WHAT?

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start up, Start Up, Brooklyn Boys, start up, Brooklyn Boys,
start data. They're making noise data up. Episode one. Yeah,
it's the Haunted Spooked Out Brooklyn Boys podcast, is it? Though?

(00:26):
Are you in costume? You know what? We could say
anything because this isn't a video podcast. Yeah. I'm dressed
up right now, Brodie, I'm in my costume. Nice. You
know what I'm wearing. What'd you dress up as a
naked guy? Yeah? Today, I'm today, I'm Captain America. Very
nice today. Oh well, I'm dressed as Thanos or Thanos

(00:52):
if you prefer. Yeah, I have the Gauntlet on. I
think I spent a lot of money on this gauntlet. Again.
I have all I have all the Infinity Stones in it,
and hold on half the half and just died. I
just stopped my fingers. They're all gone. Now. I'm gonna
sell this tonight on on eBay, so I won't have
it for pictures. But it looks great on me, my

(01:13):
Captain American. Man. Let me tell you something. I don't
even need the fake muscles. I got real ones. I
grew them over Scary Jones. I think Captain America. Don't
you know? You know it is uh eight fifteen East
Coast time on a Thursday. We are twenty five hours

(01:37):
twenty six hours later than normal. And Monster donut Pants
otherwise known as Arnell Girl, who you call anal girl once?
I think you can referred to her as by mistake
and apologies to Arnell Girl. She wrote on Twitter. Yeah,
me waiting for David Brody and Scary Jones upload this
week's episode of the Brooklyn Boys, and she's a meme

(01:57):
of a cat. Yeah, and it says I'm waiting in
cats hold on filing its snails. It's yeah, it's it's
so sweet. It's so sweet that you wait for us.
So I said, we're running a little late. I said,
don't don't wait too long, sitting by the by the
phone there because we haven't even started recording yet. So
she wrote back, is scary too busy eating champagne fed
chicken in a pool covered in foam with a DJ

(02:19):
and hot girls in bikini's taking selfies. And if the
answer was yes, could you blame me? No? It could not.
Who doesn't love a phone party in New Jersey outdoors
in October. I'm sorry to break the fourth wall, everybody. Well,
I'm sitting here in my underwear. I'm not in a
Captain America costume. I'm not even in any I'm not
even any Halloween spirit this year, Prody, I'm really not.

(02:42):
Haven't you already gone to a Halloween party? That's the problem.
The wind is out of my sales. We talked about
this last week. I was going to a Halloween party
a week early. So what happens when you go a
week early to a Halloween party and mentally Halloween's overfield? Yeah,
that's it. I was. I was Rick Sanchez Rick Morty.
You saw the pictures online because I know you're a
huge fan of Rick and Morty. Well, I did it

(03:05):
because it was easy. I didn't because it was a
lab coat. It was a wig and a unit brow
and that was the whole already at the top of
your head. You don't have to be exact, but try
to get within like one or two episodes. How many
episodes of Rick and Morty have you watched? Do you
think add them all up? Maybe? Maybe two? Maybe? Maybe

(03:29):
he carries around pickles and hands and out pickles for like,
I know, I know the premise, I've seen clips, I know.
But but let's be honest. If I'm really peeling back
the skin of this onion and peeling back the layers.
I did it because I get to wear brown jeans, blue,
a blue T shirt under a lab coat which they provide.

(03:50):
And the lab coat and the and the wig make
the whole thing. So and then there's the stupid toy
gun I hold on to say, I gotta get the gun.
I want to play. Let's that reminds me of the
year I went from the HBO show East Bounded Down.
I went as Kenny Powers. I'll just keep talking, but
you're not here. Are we gonna edit this? No way
I can edit this? All right? So what did what

(04:12):
did you hear me say? And hear you say anything?
I said, I'm going to get the gun HBO show
East Bounding Down? Yes, loaded up in trucking different that sorry,
uh and uh. So I went wearing like an East
Bounding Down T shirt and a mullet wig and a
baseball hat. And now was my costume because that's what
he was. Easy. So that's I love shortcuts. So this

(04:32):
is the gun. It lights up. What do you call
this thing I forgot has a name to it? A
laser nab rick carries it it's got a green looks
like a green dildo. I don't watch the show. I
should though, from what I read and what I hear about.
But my main point is it's a recognizable costume and
it's comfortable to wear, and it's easy. There's one you

(04:54):
know me. I don't like headgear. I don't like face makeup.
You don't like headgear because when you're back in school, yeah,
from those days, really, Brodie, I mean, I just I
want something simple but familiar and pop culture. So people, people,
you're nothing else scary. You are simple and familiar and
so and that's not a bad thing. But so so yeah,

(05:16):
so my Rick and Morty cut. But the problem is
I wore it last week and now tomorrow we're gonna
go into this morning show doing a Halloween show, and
it's gonna already you know, the cover is blown because
I've already been seen on social media with this costume.
And then anything I do tomorrow night and Saturday night
and Sunday when I have to host this event at
the Iron Bar in Morristown, feel free to show up.

(05:38):
Hit no. I can plug it. I can plug a
gig if the slices want to come out and see me.
That's that's not me plugging a product. I'm gonna let
you slide here, Come on, that's not you plug in
the bar. Though you don't hate to be there? Yeah,
I am, But doesn't matter. It's like a client though.
It doesn't matter though, if if, if the slices want
to come out and see bro, you should come out
with me. Oh look, now you're inviting me Sunday night,

(06:01):
Sunday night at the Iron Bar in Morristown. You call
me on a Saturday or Friday. You've giving away ten
thousand dollars in cash and prizes. Am I eligible to
win as an employee of the radio station? Absolutely not.
Then I'm not coming, you bastard. So anyway, my larger
point here is am I going to wear this same
damn Rick and Morty costumes Sunday night? Is is cowboys vikings?
You can't expect me to leave the house. Well, anyway,

(06:22):
there will be a subset of people that TV on
there might come then yeah, yeah, they definitely have. Yes,
it's a huge bar. They definitely have TV's going. But
I will say this, the you know, having the same
costume four times in a row, that's why I'm a
little depressed about how Lowe's gonna judge you or even
pay attention or remember come on, you know I'm pissed
at myself because two years ago, because last you, we

(06:45):
didn't do Halloween because of of the VID. Although I
think I got a Nigan costume when I wore at home,
but I don't. I didn't. We didn't come that has
Matt suit at home, remember right, two years ago? I
think it was two years ago. Three years ago. Uh
spirit Halloween hooked us up and I got a really
I got the deluxe Green Arrow costume, which you and
I took pictures and posted of us in costume. That

(07:08):
was a great year and I was I was Will
Ferrell in Anchorman, Yes right, you Anchorman, and I was
a Green Arrow and it was a little bit snug
on me, but I liked it and like fake leather pants,
like it was the whole outfit. It wasn't like you
have to wear your own pants, and had the bow
and arrow and with a holester. It was really nice.
And so knowing it was tight on me, I sold

(07:30):
it because I was like, I'm not gonna wear it again.
It's tight. And now that I've lost so far, all
the way I've lost, it would look great on me.
I should have kept. Yeah, well you heard what happened
to my girlfriend Robin in her Robin costume she was
robbing last week. Batman No, as I said, I don't
want to wear headgear. I said, there's no fucking way.

(07:50):
I said, I'll do the couple's costume. And that would
have been a cool one if Batman didn't have that
fucking thing over his head. I'm not wearing it. I
can't be that. I cannot wear that into a house.
First of all, how am I going to get chips
in my mouth? How am I going to drink? Batman's
mouth is exposed. Yeah, but I always thought like why
did Nay would never recognize him? Like you know who

(08:11):
Bruce Wayne is, but his nose is covered. Nose is covered, Yeah,
but it's it's open. You could breathe. Dude, I wasn't
doing it. I would have done it. Yes, it would
have been my name is Robin. It would have been
Batman and Robin. You have to wear an outfit. Well,
that's why she bought the Sexy Robin outfit, because she
actually brought a ros sexy Robin yes, she was Robbin.
You could have been Rock and Robin that night, Rock

(08:32):
and Robin. I could have been Robin. Robin was Robin,
but Robin sucked up her own costume. Wait, she was
mixing liquor and we took an Uber to the party
at my friend's house in Ramsey, New Jersey. Wait wait,
too many details. Well I figured I get specific for
the Bergen County slices. Is the is the Ramsey Tourism

(08:52):
Board paying you? Yeah? Hawd you. I'm gonna hit the
jingle on myself. And she had all this tequila tequila
to keep tequila what what is it? One tequila to
tequila through tequila floor, something like that. Well, all of
a sudden, we're in the Uber on the way home
and it's a forty five minute drive, and she starts

(09:13):
puking vomits. Thank god, thank god. My friend Denise put
two plastic bags in my pocket to take these with
you just in case. So so Robin just went all over,
just legit, like the entire ride home. The poor Uber guy.

(09:35):
Do you do know what happens, by the way, if
you puking and uber and it gets all over their
seats and everything, and they got to clean up after you.
My my guess is your rating goes down and they
charge you for the cleaning. Um, they hit the jackpot.
You get a three charged to your car. Oh no,
that is a that is a thing that Uber like

(09:56):
they literally all all they I think it's like a
button that they must press, Like they prey the vomit
button on their end, Like, um, we have a puking
customer and all of a sudden you get hit. I
have people that I know that have gotten hit with
three hundred dollar Uber charges uh for getting sick in
the Uber. Now, luckily those two cheap ass two cent

(10:18):
plastic bags saved me three hundred bucks. Because she was
a mess the entire time. I felt so bad. I
felt so bad for her. Um, obviously not so bad
because I'm talking about it right now on this podcast.
But but anyway, no, no, I took good care of her.
You know, she went to bed, it was it was great.
She woke up without a care in the world. However,

(10:42):
I was scared shitless. I tipped the Uber driver fifty
dollars in cash. I said, dude, I don't know what
you're supposed to get for this ride, and I'm just
gonna tip you in fifty dollars cash right here, boom,
take it. And he was super thankful. He gave me
a five star rating, did not charge me three hundred
dollars because now I didn't get anything all over the seat.
But it was definitely a close call. There was definitely

(11:04):
some moisture going on. But she ruined her own costume.
She threw it away. She got in, she got into
my apartment, she got undressed, she got dry clean, she
got undressed, and she's like, I guess this contact, this
costume is done. And before I could even like stop her,
she threw the whole costume into my garbage pail. That's

(11:26):
not I. I couldn't have a date, Robin. You can't
throw stuff out that has value. You can't. It was
an awesome costume. While it lasted, it was an awesome night.
She said, Robin, you look so great in it. She
knew it. Oh, I told her. I told her, she
did well? She did. She tell her enough that she
kept it well. Anyway, she's, uh, that's that's the end

(11:47):
of that one. And if we hang out again this
weekend at a party, she's gotta net getting another costume. Yeah, well,
why don't you let her go? Like, why don't you
let her go as as Rick? Give her the Rick
costume and I'll be Morty. Well what did you? Who
are you this time? I'm Rick? Right, so let her
be Rick. Just give her the costume of jeans and
throw the lab coat on. I want to be Rick.

(12:08):
I want to be Rick. I'm gonna be Rick every
day if I've got it. Any time I leave the
house this weekend for Halloween related thing, I'm Rick. Sorry, sorry,
I'm a little disappointed because I got I got a
costume for tomorrow morning. Again. Our friends at Spirit Halloween
hooked this up. I have to mention that. I don't

(12:29):
have to mention it, but you did. You give a
little extra love. They're they're not my client. You have
to hit the jingle, but they're not very nice. Gave
us all costumes again, and they didn't have the weapon
in stock. I picked a very popular costume, I guess,
and the weapon was out of stock. Now does the
weapon make the costume? Does it define it? No? No, no, no,

(12:50):
no no no. It's because for some people, um, the
weapon is what actually defines it, which makes people like
oh that now I know a costume. That is because
you're carrying that weapon. Okay, I'm not Darth Vader, but
imagine Darth Vader, and then you had the lightsaber, right,
you had lightsaber adds to it. But if your doth Vader,
you're still doth vadera right, Like if you're Tom Brady,

(13:11):
you have a football helmet, new jersey, but you don't
have a football. You don't need a football. He's still
Tom Brady, so I don't need the weapon. I was
just excited to have the weapon because it's a very
long weapon and it would have been like menacing. I
love that. But they don't have the weapon. You're not
telling me who you are yet. No, I even if
I if I told you that I could tell you
the name of the of the of the of the

(13:33):
character on plan that I'm gonna be dressed as the
real name, and you would not know who it was.
The listeners would. But but if I tell you, you're
just gonna google it? All right? Is it a Star
Wars character? I didn't say that Vader as a as
a reference, But is it no scary? If I told

(13:53):
you I gonna tell you the name, you wouldn't know
who is it a mark in the Marvel universe. Is
it a d C character. I'm not gonna tell you.
When I show up in the morning, you'll see, Okay,
I can't wait. You're still gonna go who is that?
You know what? You can go to commercial on many
time you want. I love that jingle. It was a

(14:13):
great jingle. That's my favorite one. I'll lean on that
all day. When I played it the first time for you, Scary,
You're like, that's it, that's my new favorite. I have
a bone to pick with you regarding Halloween. I never
have a bone to pick with you. Well, for all
these years, all these years, you've made fun of me,
Brodie for not keeping candy in my house for the
trick of treaters. Now, as you know, I live in

(14:37):
an apartment building, and when it comes time for Halloween,
I don't want to keep candy in here. I don't
want to. I don't want to deal with trick or treaters.
They usually come at times when I'm napping anyway, which
is the middle of the afternoon. So I keep at
my house really quiet, and I don't have any candy,
and and that's it. And I don't put myself on
the sign up list. So usually someone stopped by my
apartment and and goes to the front desk and puts

(14:59):
my apart on the sign up list, and the people
ring the doorbell. Ha ha. Scary Jones foiled again. But
you guys were like, oh you look at you. Mr Scrooge.
Never never have its Halloween candy in the house. Um,
it is to my understanding, Mr David Brodie, that this
year you're deciding to take my lead and not have

(15:25):
any candy for trick or treaters at your house. Yeah, yeah, alright,
I can explain. I can explain. So I live on
a call to Sack, which if you don't know what
that is, it's a dead end street with a big
circle at the ends. You can make you turns and
the kids can play and it's the best. So there's
only that's not bougie. It's just coincidence. That's what you
bought that if you have a call to Shack, you
live in a bougie house. I don't. I live in

(15:47):
a neighborhood that just happens to have a stream. And
so all the streets dead end, and so they made
call to Sacks. Okay, so over the years, there's I
don't know, maybe there's sixteen houses on the block. Uck,
and my block opens up to a major street right
where there's really no houses. So there's nobody walking to

(16:08):
my street because there's there's long blocks between the streets.
And so maybe we get like two groups of kids maybe,
And it's usually the kids who live on the block
who have had their parents drive them to another neighborhood
like we did with our kids. They went trick or
treating and they're like, you know what, let's just hit
the block, and so they look for a couple of

(16:29):
houses that have lights on. So a number of years ago,
I turned the lights off. And when we bothered because
you know, they come like after like my kids trick
or treat, I'm done, Like the same way you're you're
done from last week. You don't what you're done with Halloween.
When when I had when I had three small kids,
we would go trick or treating in another neighborhood where
the best candy and everybody dressed up and the people
decorated their houses. It was great, and a group of people,

(16:51):
a large group would meet at a certain corner and
the whole group would go trick or treating. It was great.
And then we would come home to our quiet block
that had like three kids living there, and we went done.
We were exhausted. We just walked around the other side
of town for two hours. Were done, and then like
kids would show up at like nine o'clock, right sometimes
they would already have taken their costumes off and they

(17:12):
just show up with a pillow case. You're not getting candy.
You're not getting candy even a pillow case. There's gotta
be a rule. I'm sorry, and I go, what do
you addressed as a high school student. No, they just
want candy. It's a candy grabs high school students. So yeah,
but they deserve candy. All right. So here's the problem.

(17:33):
I'm down to one kid living at home right now. Right,
she's out, she's got a party, so she's gone during
trick or treating hours. My wife is taking her. And
then while she's out because it's some town's over, my
wife's not gonna be home. I'm gonna be home about
alone in the house right on a Sunday night watching
Cowboys vikings. You don't want to be interrupted during Cowboys vikings.

(17:54):
This is the second time, uh, the second time you're
announcing the Cowboys Vikings game in this podcast, right, I'm
not not a sponsored Dave Brody d big Cowboys fan. Yeah,
but I you know what, I grew up a Cowboys fan.
I'll have you know what. So I'm a Jets fan
when I learned that, Brodie. Okay, so I'll tell you

(18:15):
the story behind it. So I'm a Jets fan. Always
was a Jets fan. This pictures of me as a
kid wearing a Jets jacket and Jets hats, and I've
always been a Mets Jets fan growing up in New York. However,
um at a time when I was a child, not
much bigger than they are now, the Dallas Cowboy cheleaders
were a very big thing. Kids wore them on shirts,

(18:36):
posters in your bedroom. It was a big deal. Porn
you can get point on your phone back then. So
Dallas cowboyd Chelids were a big deal. Okay. They were
considered America's team. If you remember the term. That's where
it came from. When I was growing up and it was,
you know, my age. It was at a time when
I didn't have cable growing up in Brooklyn, and you
watched where the game was on the weekend. America's game

(18:57):
of the week was always the Cowboys. It was more
times than not it was. The Cowboys was one of
the teams that always got played, and so I used
to watch the Cowboys a lot. And then the kids
in my class were big fans of the Cowboys, and
the class bully was a Cowboy fan, and so all
the boys in the class that were into sports followed

(19:18):
the lead of the bully and got Dallas Cowboy jackets.
The leader, Leader, Leader, you actually got a Cowboys jacket
and jumped on board just so you guys could be
in comito. I was like ten eleven years you were
asked kissing the bully. You were brown nosing the bully. No,
I actually liked the Cowboys. So four or five of
us had like a little cowboy gang. Brody was brown

(19:39):
nosing the bully. No, it was better than getting beaten
up by the bully doing his fucking homework. Anyway, I'll
take the bully story at some other point because I
bumped in him like twenty years later. Uh. Anyway, So yes,
I grew up loving the Cowboys, and then uh, they
got really good again in the nineties, and I enjoyed
the team with Emmett Smith. H Right, so you became

(20:01):
a cowboy. Your closets name Michael Irvin closet Cowboy fans. No,
I'm not a Cowboys fan anymore, but I was, and
so I know a lot of the history. Back to
your story. You're a fantasy football player, and I have
a lot of players are gonna be watching the Cowboys
vikings on Sandy, So I don't need the nine o'clock
stragglers coming by. And I'll tell you what else. Every
year we bought Halloween candy, and we always buy too

(20:25):
much because my family says, oh, well, don't worry, we'll
eat the leftovers. And inevitably, they don't eat all the candy.
I like, they eat the mounds, and they my daughter
lead all the peanut butter cups, even though I love them.
You know, my kids love peanut butter cups. Who doesn't
Reese's peanut butter cups. And I'm left with the crack hole.

(20:47):
The Mr Goodbar, Hershey's Bar with almonds. It's all good stuff,
all good stuff. I like that stuff. Three Musketeers. I
love dream musket I love that nougat. Actually, wait a second,
all on. I gotta stop you there, Three Musketeers. Not no,
not as good as not as good as the Snickers. No.
See but at stage one. See, here's the thing, uh

(21:11):
you were today is all we learned this, and I'm
it's it's a rough estimate. Three Musketeers is phase one.
It's newgat with chocolate on it. Then you graduate to
the Milky Way. It's cal and chocolate. Then you get
to the Snickers, same newgat, same caramel. Now you put
some nuts in their same chocolate. I like to start

(21:34):
at the bottom. I love the Three Musketeers. I eat
the chocolate off a little, I chocolate off around it,
and then I knew it by by itself. Sometimes yeah,
I just pure newgat it, you know what? So I
hit my fig neutes sometimes the Milky Ways and fuck
fuck the three Musketeers. Give me, bring me right to
the Snickers, all right, take me to your leader. So
Sneakers is the leader. I like three. So here's the

(21:56):
problem I get. I have a candy in the house,
right and my kids when they would trick a treat
whatever candy didn't want aforementioned candy ran by you guys,
I would end up eating. I'd have all that candy.
I'm like, oh, chocolate. But you guys, if you're paying attention,
you know that I've been eating very healthy since mid

(22:17):
September and uh you know I had uh some salmon
tonight for dinner. Look at you, and I'm not uh,
I'm eating healthy. Who is this man they called David Brody? Well,
it's the guy who used to be and I'm me again.
You're half the man you used to be, half the

(22:38):
man I used to be. Exactly, That's what I'm saying, slices.
Are you listening to this? This is the incredible shrinking man.
I cannot believe this. Brodie had salmon. Well, I love salmon.
I had sam all the time, I know, but just salmon.
I mean salmon with what covered in Usually it's covered
in things with accompaniments by other things. Um. By the way,

(23:01):
when I said I'm half the man, I used to
be supposed to say thank you Nirvana, but you didn't.
Uh that's not Nirvana. Uh one of them is is
what I was singing was not? But yeah, still don't
tell the pilots. I knew it wasn't Nirvana though, no
they did. They did a cover of it. Well, they

(23:21):
did there. I know that they did a song called
half the Man I used to be. But anyway, yeah,
well so this is why you don't have candid cover
of it now. So I don't want candy in my house.
So I'm sorry. Kids on the block, uh you know,
uh that's uh ko t b ko t b. Actually
they're probably the new kids on the block. Kids have

(23:43):
moved into the block since my kids were of Tricker Tree. Sorry, yeah,
I saw what I did was so I went shopping
with my daughter toaid I picked up at school. She's like,
I need to stop a Target. That's sho, I need
to stop a Target something. She needed one thing, scary,
spent a hundred eleven dollars today, Target for one thing.
It's Target. Your question, You can't stop with one thing

(24:04):
at Target. You go in for one thing, you come
out with eleven. And then she did that, you know,
like you like you do the product endorsement, the commercial slippins. Yes,
that's what she does. I get to the register and
underneath stuff like I said, oh, because we bought a
new new doormat for the from that house, you gotta
get to fall on the holiday dormats ready to go.
I look under the doormat, and she's got some hummus,

(24:25):
some chips, some powdered dug munchkins. She's a woman after
my own heart. I love when people hide candy and
food and a pair of uh like, um, they're not
like the jama pants. Really, but what are you doing? Oh?
I really needed john pants? Target? I go. Didn't you
go shopping my mom last week? I know you went shopping. Yeah,

(24:46):
but I already ate at all. I don't have any more.
I'm out of this. So she forced me into buying candy.
She said, well, whatever you don't give away, I'll eat.
So I had to buy. I had to buy a
package of mixed candy that she likes because I told her,
you're taking it. You're taking it with you. No, no,
you take it to school. You're taking it because she

(25:08):
leaves she leaves it in the freaking cattle. You can't
leave in the house. I said, wherever you going to
take it with you? You just put in your backpack now,
because she's going with you. She's, well, I can't take
it to school and go. Yeah, you can give it out.
You could. You could be the Halloween uh goblin, and
you give it out to everybody. Whatever. Look, I have
extra candy, but you're not leaving it in the house.
I got fired. You make me want to go slice

(25:30):
some carrots after this podcast. Well, I bought pre pre
shredded carrots, so I have like, you know, like mozarella cheese.
I've just like pre shredded, so I just I throw
them on top of the salad. It's great. I'm I
don't know who you are, hold on. I need to
I need, I need. I haven't had Chinese food in
seven ways. No, I don't even know who I have.

(25:51):
I need. I need to take a minute. I first
caught a I need, I need to take I need,
I need time. Now it's the boys podcast. So I
want to tell you about um a friend of mine.
He's actually a friend of a friend, which is true.
So but he's just sort of friendly, but he's more
of a friend of a friend and friend of a
friend really be Uh you know what I've I've had

(26:14):
dinner with him and like at birthday parties, like I
saw I know him, but I don't like know him
know him. But so uh we we went out like
a bunch of us last week. My friend and a
couple of his friends. Um, and so uh at dinner,
he's telling us how he's on a dating site and

(26:35):
he's it's not yes, hasn't been going well because he's
single again. Right he was, he was divorced, but then
he was dating this really hot blonde for a while
and they broke up about a month ago. No, I
don't know this because he's a friend of a friend.
And so he's like, yeah, I broke up with you know,
this really hot blonde and he says, I'm so he's like,
but uh, I've seen some funny profiles. So he he

(26:57):
showed me too in particular that I thought were very fun. Um.
It was one of the apps he was using. There
was a screenshots. I don't know what appen was you
just showed me in the screen shot, but it's a
picture and it says the person's name or pseudo pseudonym
and their height. And so one woman had her height
as six ft eight. Yeah, it's got to be a

(27:20):
typo because there were full length pictures of her and
she's clearly not six. So she's either six he's not
even six ft, so she might be five ft eight.
But that's attention to detail, Like I was like, dude,
you can't date her. She's off by like a foot.
Like that's so, I mean, how many like would you

(27:41):
would you if you're in a dating thing, would you
be turned off or like avoid or not even bother
reaching out to a girl who was six eight? Like,
you can't date a girl six eight, You couldn't know,
not a shot. Maybe some like maybe a guy who's
six six four, but then she puts heels on, she's
she's close to seven ft tall. Dude, that's amazon. Well

(28:02):
that's like I mean, now, look, if you're listening to
this podcast and your six eight god bless you. I'm
just saying we probably wouldn't be comfortable. That's on us.
That's our problem, not your problem. Yeah, really no it is.
I would never I would. I would feel intimidated every
day of that relationship. Right. And so there's the other
one he showed us. He I'll explain it first. So
you fell out your profile, right, and you you when

(28:24):
you sign up for an account, I wouldn't notice. I've
I've never signed up to a dating account thing. But
you know, he said, you're put in your address and
phone number and then like you check off your likes
and interest whatever, and so this one girl who woman
who he showed me the thing. Her screen name she
must have gotten the lines wrong, you know, something's on

(28:45):
forms you fill out, you write your name, but you're
supposed to write under the line and you're above the line,
or vice versa. Her screen name was her phone number, oh,
minus the last digit, like it must have not enough
enough room. Thank god it didn't. So she's a Long
Island girl, right, because he lives on Long Island. So
her phone number was is Her screen name was one

(29:10):
five one six. First of all, if you put the one,
I can't date you. He like, I could never, and
he's like, he's so it was one five, one six.
She's a keeping. Then the rest of her Yeah, I'm like,
oh dude, you can't. Yeah, you better have got six
ft eight girl? Did it say that that that she's
she's five ft seven with heels, five ft three without heels,

(29:32):
and three ft six if she really likes you, Oh
that's not right. I mean, I'm okay with that, but
it's oh my god, speaking that was a blow job joke, everybody.
Speaking of phone numbers, I had mentioned a couple of
weeks ago we got a bunch of people. No rewind thirty.
That was a blow job, joker, go for it. Continue

(29:55):
so good. That was at the end of this was
at the end of that. Yeah, it off in the day.
There was a two profile. Even show me two profiles.
If he shows me more, well, I'm not gonna see
him again. I don't know how long, but I'll ask
my friend, our mutual friend, to tell him I want more.
I did tell him, but like, he's not gonna actually
send him to me. So I was like I told
my friend, I said, do me a favor, hard on him,
get me some some some good ones from him. Anyway, So,

(30:18):
speaking of phone numbers, I had mentioned a couple of
weeks ago that people are confused when they were a
busy signal. They're so not used to it, right, they
don't know what a busy signal is because if you
call a cell phone, there's no busy signal. It's only
when you call a landline that actually has a busy signal,
like you call someone's house, the line might be busy

(30:38):
if they don't have call waiting, So that the days
of the busy signal, it's a long time and it's
rare that you'd be in the situation where you'd call
someone or a business that might have a busy signal.
So somebody texted in today and they wrote, just curious
when we call with the hopes of winning tickets and
get a busy signal, should we hang up and keep

(31:01):
trying or just stay on the line. So I think
we do we cover this on this podcast? We did,
We did, but there's a reason I'm bringing it up again.
So I wrote back the same thing about the last
time to other people. There's not to my knowledge, there's
not a busy signal in the world that turns into
a ring. Definitely call back f y, So they read

(31:22):
they're back. I figured, you never know these days, with
the way the world is. What does that anything? What
I don't I what does COVID have something to do
with busy signals? Does a politically charged environment or or
or I think supply chains being damaged from the pandemic?

(31:43):
Does that what they meant to? Probably what they probably
meant And I don't want to I'm not trying. I'm
gonna try and make sense. Maybe technology has come such
a long way that it is physically possible for that
to have happened because of the way the world is
these days, because we're inventing new things day. Well, you
know the way technology is, Except if you have technology,

(32:04):
why would you have a busy signal? You want to
talk about a generational divide. I had to be somebody
that was a gen zer in there that that was well,
maybe it was just to be. It's just and I
don't know if Mike, I guess my kids would know
a busy signal. Maybe I don't know, but it was
just funny, like, yeah, the way the world is, you know,
you know, you know, the whole mask wearing thing, the

(32:27):
business signals. I don't know. I got into tell me
if I'm wrong. I'm a a liquor store. Liquor I
don't even know. So the way this particular liquor store is,
it's one of these discount looker chains. What the hell? Right, No,
not by right, super right, Yeah, one of those. It

(32:48):
wasn't that, but it was one of those I forget
to go to all the time, like anyway, So they
have I don't know, four registers, and any time I've
ever been there, there's only one register open and then
maybe they open a second. But it's not like there's
defined aisles or lines, so there's like a big open space.
Hate those. And so when the liquor aisles end, they

(33:09):
opened to a big open space and you sort of
stand in the general area of some lines, or if
there's only one register open, you wait in the line
directly lined up with the only register. Okay, so there's
one guy in line with like five or six bottles.
There's someone at the register being rung up, and I'm
coming from the side right, I'm coming from a couple

(33:30):
of ales over, and I'm approaching the aisle. I'm about
two ft away from being behind the first guy who's
next in line at this uh, grumpy old bastard not me,
is coming from the aisle that's directly lined up with
the line you follow. He thinks he's next, but there's
no line. There's a line of one person. Though there

(33:55):
is now a line of one person, so we're both
going towards the geographical space behind the one guy. Well,
this guy, because he's been walking in the aisle with
his eye on the back of this guy, he in
his mind has claimed next. So when I come in
from the side, he goes, whoa, whoa, I'm next to

(34:15):
mind this guy. So I wanted to say, dude, I'm closer, yeah,
but his thought process was I was just further back.
I've been in this, I've been right, I've been in
the in the geograph, there was a line on the floor.
I'd be standing in the area and you're coming from

(34:36):
the side, even though you're closer. So, first off, wrong,
he's wrong, He's wrong. Okay, So I go. I find
I'm not gonna argue with the guy because because it's
the new leaner, less meaner Brodie right, I don't have
the girth to knock him on his ass. So I
get behind him in line and he the guy in

(34:58):
front of him goes up to the register and pays
for his two or three bottles. Okay, he's ringing up,
but the counter is such it's not a conveyor belt,
just a long encounter. He unloads his basket and his
bottles onto the back half of the long counter. Well,
the guy in front of him was buying a lot
more than he thought, so he didn't want to hold

(35:20):
the stuff he unloaded onto the counter. And he's not
next because the guy is still ringing up his bottles.
So because there's now three people behind me. The lines
get longer. The manager comes over and opens up the
second register at the register to the right one over,
I'll take the next in line. Now, you were technically
next because you were there first, right, Well, in a

(35:41):
in a real world, if this guy was ready, he
would be the next. Well, so so the guy goes, well,
my stuff's on the counter, give me a minute. So
I walk right past them up to the register and
put my stuff on the and the guy's like, guy,
I'm next. I'm like, you wanted deadline, sir, you got it,
so fuck him? Fuck him like he's He's like, he

(36:01):
wants me to not wait. Well, he takes all his
bottles off the counter and then bullshit, right, sorry, so
I'm double right. I let the guy go. He got
what he wanted. He got stuck behind a guy who's
having a problem with his credit card, and and he
he didn't want to wait. He's like, oh, I'm next.
The most perplexing part of this entire story is a store.

(36:21):
He took the words right out of my mouth. What
makes what were you doing in a liquor store? To
begin with? You don't drink, I don't, But here's what
I do every every couple of weekends. I like to
have a little klue in my milk. Once again, I
begged the question, who is this man? I'm speaking tone

(36:43):
When we were on the cruise ship a few weeks ago,
I had calue and milk. I know, and that's not
but that hasn't been to you in years past. That
we said it was crazy and weird. Dawn, I'm like,
Brody drank tonight. That was like the headline we came
back with. We had a we had a crazy, awesome
night on the Norwegian cruise Line and I'll only take
away the next morning on the show was Brutie drank again.

(37:04):
I had like two SIPs of one drink and two
SIPs of another. And now you had calue and milk.
So you were going to start clue right because the
bottle I bought six months ago, the small bottle was gone. Yeah,
and and so you want to hear who's the Who's is?
Who's this guy? So this this happened to me what
day Thursday? This was maybe Monday night. Over the weekend,

(37:27):
I ran out of clue. I liked to have my
calue and milk on Saturdays because I don't have to
work the next day. I have to get up early, right,
So I left a clue and milk on a Saturday,
all right, on a Saturday. I noticed on Saturday I
got home, I was out. I got home like I
don't know, ten thirty, and I got to have my
clue and milk and I don't have any clue. Oh

(37:47):
what the funk? How did I not notice this? I
must have calued and milked during the week, and I
didn't notice there wasn't enough left in the bottle because
the bottles brown. You calue and milk during the week.
It was craziness. I know, it's craziness. Rodi, Yeah, I know,
David Brody. I don't even drink during the weekend. My
house scary. It's milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk,

(38:08):
a little lookaloa, just to give it that little caramel
coffee ish flavor. Okay, So I don't know who I am.
I ran out to the the eleven PM grocery store
that also has a liquor license, and I bought the
mini bottle of kalua for I don't know, did not

(38:30):
I did? I did? It was like a crack addict,
the little Nips, the n No way, dude, Yeah, I
got little bottle Iris cream. Are you gonna go go
to the freaking nut cigarette store and get a Lucy
next or that is the last thing I would ever
do by one one cigarette. So to make sure that

(38:51):
never happens again, I went on Monday to the liquor
store and got a bottle of Klua. Oh my god,
Brodie's hanging out in Bodeguez by mini bottles of I
don't even think, I know. I never bought one of
those in my life. Why would I ever need that? Yeah,
they get into your free on the plane. So I
go to the I go to the one on the
main the main avenue around here, the discount place in

(39:13):
the shopping strip, and I know that the clue of
there is always on sale, always a regular price, is like,
but it's always on self nine nine nine. It's one
of those permanent sales, like the sticker never comes on. Well.
I was in my neighborhood, which is not I'm like
fifteen minutes away from the big, big shopping thoroughfare, and

(39:34):
I decided to go into the liquor store on Monday afternoon,
right I'm like, oh, you know what, I'll just run
into the liquor store over here. It's it's like a
bye write, it's another discount, one another one, and the
sign says clue on sale and the bottle is marked
down on sale, now down, So on sale it's five

(39:58):
dollars more than I know it's gonna be on somewhere else.
How did they stay in business? How do they stay
in business? That's crazy. It's like the gas stations that
charge eighty cents more gallon than the place up the
block right, Like, who's going There's going there? But somebody
always does. I mean, I had an interesting run in
with a case of poland spring water to the commercial.

(40:19):
Oh just sing commercial, no no, what happened to? Well?
So I was in my local, uh, my local Morton
Williams by me and uh I always come by snobby.
By the way, it's the snobbiest name for a supermarket.
I didn't name it. It's my local, stupid, it's it's
my supermar it's the one that's walkable for me. Okay,

(40:42):
So I have no choice, but that's that's that's what
it's called. I had. I did not get involved. I
didn't get involved in the naming rights of Morton Williams.
But I'm there, I'm hanging out and I get the
the my my case of poel spring. Because I have
a small apartment, I do one case at a time.
So I carry it to the counter, and I usually,

(41:03):
who is this guy? Who is this guy Scary Jones
drinking water? All of a sudden, I've always drank water,
So it was like, you know, the twenty four pack
of the sixteen ounce bottles, and then it's all wrapped
up in plastic. So I was going to carry it
out and carry it to my apartment. That's what I do.
So I put it on the heavy water well. I
put it at the register and it was four and
it was four dollars in ninety nine cents for the pack,

(41:26):
which some people may think of steep. So she said
to me, you know these are on sale for three
for fifteen dollars, right, And I'm like, I do quick math,
and I'm like no, I'm like, that's the steel three
for fifteen dollars, And how much did you pay for
the one? I'm sorry, no, three, sorry no, no, no,

(41:53):
I fucked up. I sucked up three. I'm like three no, no,
edits three three for three for ten dollars. Oh that's
three thirty three apiece roughly. So if I buy one,
it's five dollars, but if I buy three, it's ten.
How are you gonna get home with them? That's exactly it.
So I said, I said, you know something, I my

(42:19):
inner brody came out. You went to tell me. You
went home and got your car. I went. I made
three trips back and forth for the with the three.
For the three cases, I took one. I paid the
ten dollars because it was you can't pass one five dollars.
I though it was four something, it was five. Do

(42:39):
you save five dollars? Say five bucks? So they pushed
me ten dollars for an uber to well they pull
they So I went back and forth to my apartment
carrying each one. And now I have a problem because
two of the three only one case. Who is this
guy that walks with a heavy water first of all exercise,

(43:01):
second of all, makes three trips for plain water, not
even boogie, and to get to get a discount to
say five if you don't care about money, No, who
is this cabinet? Is this guy? Who are we? What
are who is this? Who are these people? It's not
my beautiful house, this is not this is not my
beautiful life. It's the new show. This is not us. Yeah,

(43:22):
this is right. Who are we in my cabinet? By
the way, that's the title of the episode. This is
not us? Either who are we? Or who are these people?
And something like that. Well, so now only one case
fits in my cabinet, and the other two are are
sitting on the counter, and that's where they'll stay until
they've all been drank or drunken or drinked or consumed.

(43:45):
R you're the drunken one, having l kalua with every meal,
tried hardcore liquor like khalua. How the hell do you
do this? I'll tell you what, you know what from
what I'm back in the day, I used to like
soco and orange juice, a little Southern comfort, very little
Southern comfort, let orange and uh. In fact, my roommate
and I we used to put Southern Comfort in tang

(44:06):
and we called it twang. Yeah, we invented that. Oh
I like that. You should have trademarked that. So I
almost brought the three dollar and fifty cent bottle of
Southern Comfort but I didn't have any orange juice. Holy
sh it. Wow, I'm like, I'm beside myself, right, But
that's not drinking, that's having like a you know, I'm
a big shamboard fan. Shamboard, shamboard. You drink sham on it.

(44:28):
Sham wow, Sam, Wow, that's right. You know. Uh So
I wanted to bring this up and and this is
gonna be a tough one because I went to a
comedy show last night, as you know, you know, the
real Housewives in New Jersey. Joe Gorga you can call
you know gone, a husband of Melissa Gorga. She's a

(44:49):
she's a housewife. So so he did stand up at
one of our favorite places, Carolines on Broadway, where we
love to see comedy. It's it's it's the best. It's
the premier place to see comedy in New York City.
And he played to a sold out show last night
on a Wednesday night, on a Wednesday, And I happened

(45:11):
to know this isn't just like I'm going to see
him as a stand or you know whatever. You know,
we know, I know Joe, what I hang out with
Joe and Melissa before you know, we've ran in similar circles,
and they invited they frankly, they invited us. They invited
me and Robin my girl. So we went. So you
came to see me once. I did come to see
so so it was only good I came to see you.

(45:36):
So it was his fourth time doing comedy. He never
did comedy, but this is only his fourth time on stage.
But because of the the following he has from the show.
He sold out on a Wednesday night. And by the way,
he was funny. He was he was. I thought he
was very good. I've seen him before. He told me that.
You told me that last night. Yes, he was very good.

(45:58):
I mean this afternoon when we spoke. Have to know
you told me right. But it reminds me of a
time when remember when we always used to get you know, hey,
you get invited to your friends like either comedy show
or like a battle of the bands. We saw him
a bunch of times. Yeah, I have friends, but I

(46:19):
see I am a comic, or it was a comic,
so I always had friends. More than likely that I
didn't have comics asked me to come see them because
I would I would see them at the club anyway,
I'd already be there. But I had people in bands
that were like, you gotta come see my band, and
that never ended well because it's just my friends, aren't
van Halen right? My friends aren't you too? My friends

(46:40):
are a couple of guys who played guitar and found
a drummer and I have to go see them and
they weren't always great. But you're like, how how would
you like to show? It was like, oh, it's great.
Oh man, I'm gonna be next week, We're gonna be
in Stanton. You're gonna come see us something. Well, that's
exactly what you get roped in. Now, this show I
wanted to see. He invited me to see it, and
I told him in the beginning of the month, I
was I'm coming to see you, right, But a day

(47:02):
doesn't go by where someone one of my friends, like
you Brodie, doesn't invite me to their blank And whether
it be a show or you know, a comedy show
or a battle of the bands or whatever, we killed
the night you came. So if you didn't like us,
I know that I'm working with you. Of course you
were right, But first of all, how many of these

(47:25):
what what's interested? With with with interests? Them to bring
you there is not you know, it's like your time.
That's it's it's hard to how do we how do
I even explain it without sound like a fucking asshole,
But it's basically, you want us scary about the time
he went to a comedy show and it wasn't funny,
because that's what I think you're trying to get at. Well,
there was. It was that one time I did go

(47:46):
to a comedy show in recent past and not not me, you,
not you, and not the one I saw it last night,
which was just not funny. They sucked and they were
I'm saying they because I don't want to let it off.
I don't want to let you know if it's a
male or female. Are you still friends with this person? Yes,
so so they don't know. But it's weird. They they

(48:10):
were doing amateur night and I showed up and it
was a Monday night and I was like sitting there like,
oh my god, these are this is forced left or
forced laughter? Was it one of these you have to
bring ten friends and I will let you perform. Well
that's probably know. It was a to drink minimum and
a cover the times like they'll you'll you can play
like the Monday Night Show, but you have to bring

(48:31):
ten friends down, all right. That's part of the way
that they trick for them filling the right. So so
I I just think that at some point you have
to just be real with somebody when they say, how
did you how did I do tonight? Really, because otherwise
it's gonna bear their soul doing comedy and you're gonna
go well, because you don't want them to pursue a

(48:52):
career that they is going to be a dead end
for them. Yeah, but is it your place? Are you
a comedy guru? But that's how they think about it.
This is how the rejects end up on American Idol. Well,
their friends don't tell them. Well, that's exactly it. Their
friends don't tell them. That's how William Hung is born.
You know the people. What I'm saying is, but it's
it's a it's a lifetime of oh my god, you're
so good, keep going, keep going, keep doing it. But

(49:15):
this person was not funny in their stand up routine.
But I I laughed and I joked with them, and
I'm like, yeah, it was great, and I will overly
laugh to make sure my laughter was audible from the stage,
and it was it was weird. It was just bizarre. Anyway,
go imagine slices. You guys listening and you got you
guys can tweet us. I'm sure you guys know a

(49:36):
singer or a comedian, or a juggler, a magician, someone
in your life that made you go see them and
it was not it was not going to lie. Well.
We had that growing up. I mean listen, not all
of bald Freak Ronnie's shows were great. Some of them
were over the top awesome, but he had he had
like alter egos and he did different types of genres.

(49:57):
He went to one show it was he's very talent, wunted,
but it was it was like it was out there.
It was like space music. Uh it was I saw.
I was blown. I was confused. When you come off stage,
do you just not say anything at all? When they
come off stage? Do you do you give him the
gratuitous oh you were so good tonight? Well no, I

(50:18):
think I think you say things like I'm only gonna
use Ronnie as an example. It's not what I said,
I I I what I what you can say is like,
oh my god. I didn't realize what an amazing keyboard
player you are, because he's an amazing keyboard player, he
really is. So you you highlight the positive but don't
talk about the negative. And and who did you get
to do? The lights? Oh my god, the lights are lighting.
I love that outfit you're wearing on stage right and

(50:40):
that dance move you did. But you don't have to
come out and go like you know, like you see
a comic you're like, holy sh it, man, that took balls.
You killed it tonight. But but listen, we've done it.
We've had guests on the Morning Show where someone has
an album out. You're like, oh my god, the end
of their career. Then they come in here like love
the new album. Man, that's right, we do that, we do.

(51:01):
It's actually a little white lie. How about I bet
the lot in the air. By the way, we don't
have don't normally have artists on that Elvis doesn't already
like like we if Elvis doesn't like an album, we
won't have them on. So when he has somebody on,
he it's because he genuinely likes I'm talking about Like,
for me, if we have an artist come up and
I think the new album was like oh, I'll be like, oh, hey,

(51:24):
congrats on the new album, love the artwork, the well.
I feel like a lot of parents go through this
with their kids at their plays, you know, when they
have to go to the place the dance recital. How
I've been, I have three girls, I went to many
a dancer. How did you feel that? Who was your
honest opinion about the dance recital? My kids were the best,

(51:45):
That's what you have to say that. Well, you know
what they're so in most dance recitals, especially when they
get a smidgeholder, they put the superstars in the front
and they put the other kids in the back because
ours you don't want the kid who messes up even
a little to be the center of the triangle, the
top of the pyramid, right, So you know, sometimes your

(52:09):
kids are in the third row in the middle where
you can can't see them, and you gotta stand up
and go, I see I see it back there, all
the way back there, all right. Well, sometimes the girl
in the front you hate their parents. I just didn't
know if if, in whatever way that you're experiencing going
to somebody's show, you know, if if this is something
that you uh, if you should be brutally honest with them,

(52:32):
or you should just sugarcoat it, because I think that
you may be doing them at disservice if you're sugarcoating
it and saying that they're fucking awesome when they're not.
I don't know, you know what happens sometimes as a parent,
Like sometimes you have friends and their kids are in
the play, but your kids in the play. Then you
they know you're at the play. They know you even
if you go on a different night. Like the kids
like the little three nights so that everyone has a

(52:54):
chance to go, even if you go a different night. Right,
Um uh John and uh John and Sue's kid is
in the play. You're sort of friendly with John and
Sue and their kids. Gotta lead role and they're like, oh,
what do you think his show? I'm like, oh, very impressed.

(53:14):
How great was John? Right he's the kid or whatever?
You go. Oh, I mean to get up there and
do that, that's amazing, you know, like you know, I mean, wow,
I mean to be that bold, you know, and to
be just to belt it out like that, I mean,
how you know, to memorize all those lines? You just

(53:35):
there's plenty to say where the parent gets it, but
you don't have to say it right. It's kind of
like the wink, like the wink elbow the elbows. But
here's the thing. You are parent deaf. You don't hear
it all the time when your kids are like, you know, son,
what the rainbow? Because they're like, oh, man, you should

(53:55):
have heard him six months ago. He's come a long way.
She's come along, you know. The second layer that is
how many shows are you gonna go to? I mean
it's it is a self serving thing to invite people
to your show, right, I mean it's like, oh, I
want you to come see me, me, me, And I'm like, yeah,
what about my free time? What about me? Is my
my time don't matter? I mean, have you ever have
you ever gone to a thing like a show or
a dance recital or a play and the person you

(54:17):
went to see has the smallest role and you have
to sit there either terrible you wait the whole play
and then like with like eleven minutes left, you see them,
or you see them after four minutes then don't see
him again the whole play. Yeah, that sucks. You're like,
don't don't ask me to come. Forty five seconds you

(54:38):
come out and you go, so am I right? And
then you right off the stage and that's it's terrible,
you know, like no, thank you. Right, You're like tell
him about it Johnson and then you're one off the
stage podcast and Rody, I wanted to just add to
that before you went to commercial, like in the program

(54:59):
guide right, it'll say to tell him about a Johnson
guy played by you know, like like criminal number six
played by Like it's great. I came, Oh my goodness,
um that happened on you remember see Spider Man Turn

(55:20):
Off the Dark? Yes, if I could just tell that
story really oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes. So
Spider Man Turn Off the Dark is considered to be
one of the most expensive flops in history of Broadway.
They had high wire act, like Spiderman would fly all
over the Broadway theater. He was on wires and uh
he would lower himself down, he swung over the audience.

(55:41):
It was visually that part was great. At some point
Spiderman fell into the orchestra. Do you remember that. I
remember disaster they had They had a Spiderman it was
one of the villains and the show and they had
a retur music was done by you two, which you
thought would save it, but it didn't had It's just
the plot was fucking moronic. It seemed like forever. So

(56:04):
at one point of this play, this musical, now, I
went into we went as a as a morning show.
They were a sponsor. They were trying desperately to get
people to go, and they were advertising, and we all
went as a morning show. So we were going anyway. However,
I know a couple of people who are on Broadway
because they sing for our parody division. Right, they come

(56:26):
in on their time off and they sing song parodies
for me, And so I'm not gonna mention that I'm
gonna we're gonna call We're gonna call him, Uh Phil,
I like that named Phil. Phil. I know for a
fact is in the show. I don't now. So Phil
was a swing member, meaning like in one scene he'll
play the green Goblin in the background, like the scene

(56:48):
he'll be number right you You you play multiple small
roles so they don't have to hire people are the
main six and everybody else plays multiple roles. And then
when there's the big the entire cast does something. You're
in that part too, right, So even when you go
see Hamilton's one of the greatest shows ever. There are
some people who play two people in the show, two

(57:10):
main characters, because they die spoiler, and then they come
back as another guy. Right, first he's the French guy,
then he's Thomas Jefferson. So that happens even in the
big shows. But so so Phil, so I couldn't keep
track of who he was anyway. There's a scene at
the end. The Green Goblin is one of the main

(57:32):
villains of Spider Man in comic books, and Green the
Green Goblin is in the play. But at some point,
if you remember, there were like twelve green Goblins all
on wires, climbing all over, so he was fighting all
of them in different parts of the city. It made
it look like wherever he when he was fighting green
Goblin or whatever. So it wasn't that there were twelve
green goblins. It was just that a green Goblin would
go up the wall on the left side of the stage,

(57:54):
right and then all of a sudden he was on
the right side on the right. Well, the way they
did that was having multiple green Goblins. So after of
the show, they tell us we're gonna meet the cast
to the show, so we go down and we're wait
in this room a green room. ARAM and a couple
of people came out. The guy played Spiderman came out.
The show was horrible, and we're like, oh my god,
it was. It was amazing and singing was we did?

(58:16):
We had a blow smoke right. But then my friend
Phil comes into the room and he sees me. He's like,
broday Phil, He's like, what do you think of the shawl? Like, oh, man,
this stunt work? The music? I go and because did
you see me? I go, yeah, I saw you, like
when you're in the background singing No. I was Green

(58:39):
Goblin three, but but Green Coblin was wearing like armor
and a helmet like I had no. I was like, oh,
you were the best Green Goblin. He was like, what
do I say? I didn't know it was him at
the time. I wasn't looking at him, going that's my
friend Phil up there right. So it was just the
most awkward thing. But when Spiderman came to the I
don't remember his name, but we're like, oh, was amazing.

(59:00):
It was. How bad was that show? That was a stinker?
I think I think it was worse than your in Town.
We were gonna leave at halftime. Halftime. By the way,
my friend Phil was in your intown? Was he really Yes?
He played actually a decent sized role. And I'm sorry
the people here are thinking, what the funk was your
in town? Exactly? Just google it. It was. It was

(59:22):
pretty had the Spider Man guy. I was just like,
oh my god, it was such a shot. It was.
I'm telling you right now. There were empty seats at
after intermission. People didn't come back. It was that bad um,
something that we glossed over on the big show that
really needed to be talked about. And I know it's
why we do a podcast a week old at this point,

(59:43):
but I've been holding this one. Um was last Sunday
in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers game when Tom Brady threw
his six You know where I'm going with this. He
threw his six hundred touchdown pass Mike Evans, and Mike
Evans goes, runs over to the to the stands fan,
hands in the end zone, stand the fans in the
stands in the end zone and hands the football to

(01:00:06):
the to the fan. Unbeknownst to everybody at that very
moment that that was a record breaking thing that it was.
It was it was. It was an NFL Well, no
one in the NFL has ever thrown six hundred passes before.
That was a huge piece of memorabilia that will have
It will probably be the most important ball in the

(01:00:29):
game's history to this point. So that it was just
handed to a fan by Mike evans Um. So all
of a sudden, Twitter went crazy, The Internet's roared, Holy
sh it, that's gotta be five hundred thousand dollars. That's
gotta be a million dollars. That balls gotta be worth
millions of dollars. They come back from the commercial and
you realize now they show footage of one of the officials, uh,

(01:00:54):
negotiating with the guy with the football, and the kid
hands the football the representative of the Buccaneers going, hey,
what's it gonna take to get that ball? Correct? What's
it gonna take? And he hands the ball back and
then negotiates, which, by the way, you should never do
never should always hold onto the ball. And keep in mind,
the guy's a Bucks fan and a Tom Brady fan.
But I'll say this, if he's a Bucks fan, he's

(01:01:14):
only been a Tom Brady fan for about a year.
Ye ye, haven't been you didn't grow up a Buck
a Brady fan, you're a Bucks fan. Consensus. The consensus was,
after it came out the next day, of all the
things this fan got in return for giving this six
d touchdown ball back to the NFL and to Brady,

(01:01:35):
was he got a thousand dollars to spend at the
buck store. He got a way. By the way, can
I just blow the little off that when when you're
at a restaurant and they give you a hundred all
the gift card to get at the restaurants, like, well, no,
it's not that it's five dollars. Food cost is usually
so it's really cost him the restaurant twenty five dollars
to give you a hundred dollars, plus you're gonna overpay

(01:01:55):
for the drinks like whatever. So so a thousand dollars
is a thousand dollars that you get to spend on
overpriced in stadium merchandise that they own, and they're making
eighty at least mark up on so they really didn't
give much hold on so that he got. He got
to to autographed Tom Brady jerseys, a helmet and a helmet,

(01:02:20):
and he's going to play a round of golf, and
that wasn't originally withal. It was the season tickets for
the rest of the season, tickets for this season, the
rest of this year and next year. First of all,
you give him five years. At least you give him
five years worth of tickets. You have to a year
and a half. That's so a lot of people then

(01:02:42):
came back around and then then around of golf with
with Brady stepped up and gave him some bitcoin. Brady.
Brady gave him bitcoin. Yeah, and then Brady said, I'll
play golf with you, which you know the guy. If
the kid plays, all that said and all up, is
that worth giving the ball back? All right? So look,

(01:03:02):
if that balls were okay, how much? First of all,
do you think that that ball is worth well, if
it's got bad karma because they think you were an
asshole for selling it, maybe less, but the ball's worth money.
And I would think the NFL and Tom Brady would
want to pay big bucks to get it back. Yeah. Right,
See that's what I was thinking. I was thinking that

(01:03:24):
hit this guy off, hit this guy offs from me,
fifty grand, throw me fifty grand of doing the right
thing and giving you the ball back. Because even on
the low end, a hundred thousand. Still, you know, I'm
saying even dollars. Fifty thousand dollars to the Buccaneers who

(01:03:45):
makes a billion dollars a year in profit, Tom Brady,
who makes on a thirty five million a year whatever
it is, and has made a few hundred million over
his career, fifty grand is nothing. Fifty grand is like
when when you when you take your helmet off on
the field, they find you, They find in your fifty
grand and you're like, who guess it doesn't mean anything
to them. Fifty grand to Tom Brady is like three

(01:04:05):
dollars to me. Granted I wouldn't give up three dollars,
but that's besides the point. The guy did the right thing.
And by the way, again mistake number one handed the
ball back first and then negotiated you with. What you
have to do. First of all is you give them
your information and you say, you know what, I want
to talk to my lawyer. I want to talk to
a baseball a memorability expert. I need some time to

(01:04:28):
think about it. I'll keep the ball. I'll keep it.
I'll keep it authenticated. It's got the stamp. You know,
if you want to tag it in some way. That's
another thing. That's another thing that comes into play here.
They were saying that he walks out of the stadium
with that ball and tries to sell it. It's not
worth anything because, uh, the NFL has to have papers

(01:04:48):
that authenticate the ball. So if he goes to try
and sell it, there's not gonna be any papers that
come with it that showed that it's real. Except for
one thing. And I could be wrong. He's got video
of him getting the ball. Yeah, but he could have
switched it out. How did they know that he's got
an NFL ball? He's got an NFL ball, right, not granted.

(01:05:08):
I look, I don't know about the authentication of it all.
He's got the ball, okay, and that's worth more money.
The kid gave the ball back before he got anything.
Brady has to say to him, You know what, Mike
Evans should give the kid a thousand dollars. Oh, Mike
Evans kicked in something too, I believe. Yeah, he gave

(01:05:30):
a jersey he cleats. The game is sneakers. His game
won sleet sneakers. Like Ratty asked, shoes you've been wearing
for the game stink in Jersey. Look, it's all cool.
Look if I if I caught us something important at
the Met at a Mets game, right, somebody's I don't know,
a hundredth home run with the way the Mets play,
whatever it is, it's a big ball, right, you break
the home run record for the Mats. If I caught

(01:05:51):
you know, a World Series home run, whatever it was,
I I would want the ball to be in the
proper hands. But I don't know how i'd feel because
you want to be a dick to your team, but
the team has no problem, you know, charging you a
lot of money for the tickets. And yeah, I don't know.
I think the guy should be more well, I think
I think they needed to break him off some cash. Really,

(01:06:13):
I mean cash is king, right, So I mean this,
give him money, Like I understand he's got this crazy
once in a lifetime. Money can't buy experience, right, But
Brady is not gonna remember him, Like, you know what
I would want. I want Tom Brady to call me
on my birthday every year for taking right, Like I
would want David Wright to call me, Hey, Hey, hey

(01:06:33):
David David Wright when I was happy Birthday two thousand seven,
you know, two thousand five, Hey David, thanks to call
and enjoy that home run ball. You know like I would.
I would do that. Like never mind the money I want.
I want. I want to something that's gonna last a lifetime.
I want to be able to call Tom Brady five
times where my friends are around to show them, and
I have Tom Brady's phone number, even if Tom Brady
buys a Burner phone. I want Tom Brady's bird of

(01:06:56):
phone number. So when I'm out with a girl at
a bar, at a sports bar, who she's wearing a
Brady jersey, I can go. You know what if I
could call Tom Brady right now, we go? I want
I want. I want to be able to have Tom
Brady in my tender profile, with me next to me,
right and and and be able to say I could
call it Brady anytime you want, right, just use it

(01:07:16):
as right. You can keep the football jersey that I
can buy at a at a novelty store, and I
can go into a Memorybilly store and pay five hundred
for the jersey. I can't buy Tom Brady's phone number.
You give me Brady's phone number, you would invite me
to Tom's house and I can jump in the pool
with Tom and Jisell. I want to give the next thing.

(01:07:36):
I want to be over there for Thanksgiving dinner at
the Bradies. I want Gizelle to serve me more sweet potato.
I want to Gisell to serve me. I want to
be between. I want to be on the in the
chaise lounge between bikini Giselle and a fully fully dressed
in his football uniform Tom Brady, and I'm giving two
thumbs up with a dopey smile on my face. That's

(01:07:59):
what I want. And it's not out of the realm
of It's not out of question for me to to
to want to call Tom Brady on any given Sunday
during the off season and have a catch with him.
Take me out, let's let's let's let's throw the ball around,
and if he wins another Super Bowl, he comes to
my house with the trophy and I get to wear

(01:08:21):
the ring and the trophy and I take pictures with it.
That's it. No money at that point. You know what happens.
Tom Brady goes fuck you his rlong exactly all right.
So I need your help on what happened at Walmart
and then we'll get out of here. Okay, but I
need your help with this. So um returning some things

(01:08:44):
at Walmart. My friend and I are at at the
return counter and this woman i'll refer to her as Karen.
She to a wonderful start. She comes out. So the
bathroom is located near the front of the store. She
comes out of the bathroom and she's yelling, they stole
my phone. Somebody helped me. They stole my phone. So

(01:09:08):
that one of the front end employees goes, what happened?
They stole my phone. Someone stole my phone. Right, so
they're like, well, what do you do? What do we do?
So then she starts yelling, you guys are responsible Walmart,
better buy me a new phone. You guys stole my phone.
Someone stole my phone. So I'm like, wow, that's terrible.

(01:09:30):
Did she leave it in the car? Did she did
hang out of her her pocket? Did she put it down, like,
did she scan her credit card or something? And then
like the cashier was placed it like what they stole
her phone. So so, first of all, scary if they
stole her phone, that's terrible, right, who's they? Okay, Well,
so I see, so customers is yelling a customer service.

(01:09:52):
I'm waiting to a return and she's yelling at the
poor girl behind the plexiglass that they stole her phone.
They stole her phone. Someone stole her phone. Can somebody
call my cell phone? Somebody stole my phone? Uh, you
owe me a phone. She's yelling at want her phone.
So the manager comes over and says, who stole your phone?
I'm so sorry? What happened? She said? I was in

(01:10:13):
the bathroom and I must have left it on the sink.
I went out to my car. I put all my
shopping in the car. I realized my phone's gone. I
come back in the bathroom, my phone's gone. Somebody's power it. So,
first of all, scary if you leave your phone in
the bathroom and somebody takes it and you come back
five minutes later, it's no longer your phone, right, But

(01:10:34):
can you blame anybody but yourself? Is that really stealing? Is? No,
it's gone. It's I'm a fucking idiot, right, you're the idiot. Now,
He's just like when someone says someone stole my phone,
I'm thinking somebody pickpocketed it. Somebody out of the hands
or forcibly took it from me, right, So she's demanding

(01:10:57):
I want names. I want manager's names. Someone's gonna buy
me a new phone. So the managers, the managers, not me.
The managers trying hard to be nice. He's like, listen, well, though,
with the new you, I'm not so sure anymore. Yeah, yeah,
you're right exactly. So the man is like, listen, we'll
take your name. If someone returns that. No one's gonna
return it. They stole my phone. So she's, look, we'll

(01:11:17):
call your phone. Who's gonna answer the phone. They stole
my phone. They're gonna answer the phone. All they stole
your phone? As all upset, and so she I want
to review to the security tapes. I want to see
the security tapes. So the manager says, I I can't
do that. You could, Yes you can. I will get
a lawyer. I want to see the security tapes. He says, miss,

(01:11:38):
you left the phone in the bathroom. We don't have
security tapes in the bathroom. That's illegal, Yeah it is.
She's she's, well, what about when they came out with
the falling out of the bathroom. So he says, I'm
sure they put it in their pocket. I don't think
he goes, ma'am, I'm sure they didn't walk out look
out holding the phone, checking like checking the phone, and
they were like they put it away. They would they

(01:11:58):
wouldn't have the phone in their pocket. Well, you're buying
me a new phone. Take my name, I want, I
want your name. You guys owe me a phone. He says, Look,
I'll take your name. But you you left the phone.
That's not it's not a responsibility to have someone in
the bathroom waiting for you. But that's not our fault.
And I just I did my return because now the
manager just taking care of it. So the girl took
my return and I was gonna so we just went shopping.

(01:12:19):
But we were in the back of the store. I
was picking out some of my storage bins and I'm
here like like you could hear in the front of
the store, still yelling. At some point we checked out,
she was gone. I don't know what they told. I mean,
the poor woman, I mean, but you know, she's upset.
Shame on herself. She only has herself to blame because

(01:12:43):
she was in the bathroom. She was in the bathroom,
she left it in there. But she was plainting that
someone stole my phone. I'm thinking like she got mugged, right,
or that she put it down on the ledge, like
if she accidentally flushed it down the toilet. Fellows, who
knows if she ever had a phone and if she
it and if it did get flushed down the toilet,
did did the shower system steal the phone at that point?

(01:13:05):
Like what kind of phone you have that goes down
the toilet? By the way, how big is the hole
in the toilet? I'm just saying, I know, hypothetically, so
that just to be sore on the same page. Number one,
no one stole your phone, Sorry, not an phone. Number two, Walmart,
get the sound ready. Walmart does not owe your phone.

(01:13:27):
And whatever you would spend on a new phone, because
I'm sure you must have some replacement plan. You have
embarrassed yourself more. I I was going to film her
because I have I know I couldn't because she was
really close and I would have had to like step
back and film her, and I didn't want to be
like I wanted to, but my I just I wanted
to do my return and get out of there, So

(01:13:49):
I wasn't thinking about filming her. I was thinking about
matching up my receipts to my returns because I had
like six different returns. I had an online purchase, I
had something from a month and a half ago. I
tried to return the works again. They wouldn't take him
back ship as I went to a different store, so
I did not take out my I didn't want to
do that. Uh been film her, but I just thought,

(01:14:09):
was like podcast, Yeah, there's definitely podcast. So you Walmart Karen.
There's a lot of Walmart Karen's out there. There is.
If you leave your car running outside your house with
the doors open right and the windows down, and someone
jumps in your car, technically they stole the car, but

(01:14:34):
you you lost the car. You gave away the car.
You leave a five six seven eight phone on a sink, now,
shame on the person that took it. Right there. They're
a piece of ship to begin with. But now we
what we don't know. You can't expect humanity to be good,
you know, you can't expect the best in people. Well,
at some point she accused and said, well I forgot that.

(01:14:57):
She said the girl was in there with me, said
the girl. The girl was in there. So the manager,
what girl? She goes the Walmart girl she had, she
had the apron on the girl from the Walmut girl
was in there. He's which one he's I don't know,
and then cannot point the corocusatory finger. You can't. You
just got no leg to stand on. Well, so the woman,

(01:15:17):
the woman says, this is I'm gonna I'm just gonna
repew what she said. The guy says, well, which one? Who?
What does she look like? He goes, I don't shoot.
She was Puerto Rican. Now, I don't know how you
know what island she's from. I think she meant Hispanic.
And the managers like, well, that's that's a large part
of our staff and his tellers just no, could you
pick her out? No? I just saw I saw briefly

(01:15:40):
she was. She was coming in as I was leaving.
So you don't know. You don't know. It could have
been someone else in the other stall taking the ship.
You don't know. So he says, was anyone else in
the bathroom? Yes, yeah, it could have been that guy
that you saw your daughter's college dorm, like the guy, know,
the guy that was like shooting up, masturbating, shitting that
that guy. You know what I want to talk a

(01:16:05):
little bit about about a merch store before we Oh yeah,
we have an offer, an idea, an epiphany because I've
done this randomly, but we're gonna officially do it from
my accounts, Scary's account, but not always everybody. Yeah, okay,
follow along at Brooklyn Boys dot Big Cartel dot com. No,
that's where you shop, that's Brooklyn Boys got Big Cartel

(01:16:27):
dot com. But at David Brodie Hat Scary Jones at
the Brooklyn Boys. You know, I'm saying, well, first you
have to go get your merch from the store. That's right,
go get your merch. But here's what we're gonna do,
at least until the end of the year, and who
knows after that. But we have till December. Right, let's
do till December because we have holiday merch coming out. Well,
we have, we have merch you haven't. You may not
have seen yet. We got ornaments coming were ornaments. You

(01:16:49):
may be behind a few episodes, you may behind twenty episodes.
You may be one of those people. And we've read
the man. You can buy your Christmas ornament at Easter.
If you're hearing this, then right, and uh oh, way
of h I can't say, okay, we're not gonna go.
We're gonna until it's so forget about the merchandise. Is

(01:17:10):
it worth let's say twenty dollars to have your picture
and your social media retweeted and reposted by our social
media bucks. You might pay cameo hundreds of dollars to
record a birthday greeting. By the way, we do that well.
Scary and I both have cameo accounts. You want us
to wish you happy Conic, Merry Christmas or happy Thanksgiving,

(01:17:32):
you can go to our cameos search force anyway, So
at the very least for twenty bucks ish tax shipping,
whatever you get on a social media we will, we
will promote your social media. We will will repost you.
Here's we got a lot of but a lot of
people already bought their merch and they have them already
and we have posted them and if we have and right,
and by the way, we'll know if you post an

(01:17:54):
old picture. But that's fine, go go, we know who
you are. But if you buy a new merch and
dice and if you want to put the picture of
your invoice in the picture, that'd be great, But of
course that your and your credit card, credit card yeah,
put that in there, exactly. Put that in there, and
and the number on the number on the back right, yeah,
the CVS something code. Yeah, okay, so it's not the

(01:18:19):
CVS code all right, So anyway, so um CRVR right,
go ahead, and if you buy merchandise if you happen
to from the Brooklyn Boys, and post a picture of
you wearing it or holding it, if it's a mug
or you know, tumble or whatever, we will we will post.
We will, we will rock you, we will rock you
and tag you on our merchandise page because you know what,

(01:18:41):
we gotta move out to the old merchandise and get
ready for the holiday stuff. And uh, we got the
holiday stuff coming, so let's let's do this. Brooklyn Boys
dot Big Cartel dot com also a good stocking stuffer
for your family. I mean, we are coming back up
on the holidays again, right, When was the last time
you stuffed your stocking? Scary Never, It's just a figure
of speech at this point that I always got junk
in Christmas stocking. It was always like you did when

(01:19:02):
you couldn't ask your own d I bet you did.
I put my junk in my fucking stocking, and your
sock and I used to like swinging around. No, really,
it was like Jack's. It was playing cards. It was
did you jack it into Jack? And jacked jacked it
into a sock nic. You're filthy, not as filthy as

(01:19:24):
you sock. Go drink some more Khloo you have fastard.
And by the way, if you run into any crunchy
socks in Brooklyn, you know whose they are. Boys, boys,

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Skeery Jones

David Brody

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#195: Brody's Drinking & Skeery's Saving Money...WHAT?